So the Princess Summit, it’s essentially just a sleepover for every Princess in Equestria, with some minor teachings and fun stuff like how to be a princess. This time around, even though this is literally the first Princess Summit ever, it was to describe to Twilight what the job would entail, how to act as a princess in public, and mostly to welcome her into the Royal Family. I’ve come to realize that… she’s my niece in law, through Shining Armor. Twilight’s family, basically. It’s pretty neat, and also would be really fucking weird now if I considered forming a herd with Twilight, ignoring the implications of Celly being married to who is essentially a daughter.

I was given my own, separate room since I wasn’t really meant to be in on the meeting, despite the original plans to have me be a part of them. After I whined like a little bitch and got out of being crowned, publicly, as High Prince instead of just being a High Prince Consort. It was bound to happen one day in the future, but it’ll happen when I feel ready for it.

My family came along for the ride, so I won’t be completely lonely and Twilight’s friends are coming along, so I’ll have them to talk to as well.

Speaking of, I was sitting in my room, being shut in, and reading a book.

I was supposed to be out in the throne room of the Crystal Empire, because we’re here now for some fucking reason even though the Crystal Empire technically has a separate government from Equestria. Instead, I was sitting in my own room, which was across from Twilight’s, more or less enjoying the peace and quiet for once. I love my family, I love Button, but they’re all in their own rooms, with Button in particular bunking with Ma over our stay. We are to stay in the Empire for a week after Twilight finally gets here, which is how long the summit is to last.

While I’m here, I was actually studying Phoenix Fire that I had Philomena make, which was really just her setting a candle on fire while she was on fire. She did this a week ago, when we were leaving for the Crystal Empire, and interestingly, it hasn’t even gotten close to dying out. I hummed and ran another diagnostic spell, hummed and wrote some more Runes down. Those were the last runes my spell could pick up. With that said, I disabled my Light Shield, as I won’t need it while just sitting in my room.

Then I blew myself up with magic, or what I dub a Suicide Bomb. I made sure to take off my wedding ring beforehand, so Celly wouldn’t feel like I was essentially killing myself. Because Suicide Bombs are literally what they are, you let out a magic explosion, and kinda not live anymore. Everything with black for a few seconds… before everything came back into being. On the ground were some ashes where I stood.

Huh.

Why did I fucking do that for testing instead of waiting for a possible threat to kill me?

I don’t know, but I am lucky that I didn’t fucking die.

I GOT PHOENIX FIRE WORKING! It’s a good thing my room’s soundproofed; nobody heard me blow up.

…

Celly definitely felt it. Twilight would’ve too. Luna as well… and anyone and anybody with a horn and is capable of using that horn to use magic.

The door slammed open and four alicorns and my whole family barged in.

“SOURCE ARE YOU…” Celly stopped. “What happened? I felt a magical explosion in your room.”

“So uh…” I hummed. “I am an idiot, but it’s okay because… Okay, I used magic to blow myself up and die. I literally fucking died.”

Ma looked at me real funny. “You don’t look dead to me.”

“Oh, I did. I blew myself up with a spell I’ve dubbed the Suicide Bomb. It’s really strong but will kill you upon casting it.”

…

“Source,” Celly brought her hoof up to my cheek and pushed my chin up. “Please, please explain to me why you decided to cast that spell?”

“So I needed to test out if I had Phoenix Fire nailed down. I notated the last Runes for it,” I lifted my hoof up, where I etched the Runes into it since it wouldn’t make me feel pain. “And instead of testing it on an apple or something, I etched it onto myself and blew myself up. I saw nothing but a black void for a little while and then came back, good as new. Heck, my fur looks like I’ve been at a professional groomer all day.” I fanned my wings out. “Wings perfectly preened, mane feels brushed out. I’m brand new, fresh and clean… and I have a spell, an enchantment as I believe that’s the only way Phoenix Fire can work, etched into my hooves so it’s always active.”

Celly stared into my eyes before she slapped the back of my head with a wing. “WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?! WHAT IF YOUR SPELL DIDN’T WORK!?”

“Okay, yeah, I realized how fucking stupid that idea was, Celly.” I chuckled. “Uh… shit. I’m really sorry for not thinking that through,” I started staring at the floor. “I was just kinda… eager to test it out and didn’t think about how to test it before hoof. I swear, I wasn’t trying to scare you and I’m sorry for scaring you like that, Celly…” I looked up at her, in the eyes. “But now… I can’t die. Not unless somepony finds a way to interrupt my reconstruction when I get stabbed, but you’d have to kill me while Phoenix Fire puts me back together, which is where Light Shield comes in.”

Celly sighed. “Source, you are incredibly lucky to not be dead right now. You’re lucky that I’m just relieved that you aren’t dead, but that was a really, really, really fucking stupid idea. I hope you know that.”

“Celly,” I said, dead serious this time. “I don’t do shit unless I’m fully confident in it working. I still work with Dark Magic because I’m confident that I won’t get fucked up by it. And yeah, I really done fucked up with this…” I smiled. “But I can put this… enchantment? That’s what that is right?”

“Enchantments aren’t physical text,” Twilight corrected. “That’s more of… an inscription I believe.”

“Okay… yeah, you’re probably right on that. But… I can keep my loved ones safe by putting this on their hooves, since you won’t feel anything if I fuck with them. And I can work out a spell that does the inscription automatically without fail. You all will be safe and sound, and I can rest a little better at night. As much as you may not think it, Celly, there are still people out there that will wanna hurt you or take a stab at ya. This is an opportunity to ensure that everyone I know and love will come home safely at the end of the day.”

Celly nodded. “Which is why I calmed down a lot, after realizing what you just did, Source… You are going to walk me and Twilight through how you managed to figure this out; it would do us some good, seeing how you transcribe magical things that don’t have physical spells. Perhaps then we could do it ourselves.”

I sat up and stretched. “So anyways, with that excitement over, let’s all go get dinner or somethin’ before we let Twilight and her friends get some rest from the train ride here. I’m feeling pizza, personally…”

“Pizza would be nice,” Luna hummed. “Praytell, Cadance, do you know of any establishments in the Empire that serve such a delicacy?”

“We’re talking Equestrian pizza, right?” I asked. “As in that stupid bread without any sauce, but covered in cheese and veggies?”

“...Isn’t that pizza, though?” Celly asked. “I swear that…”

“How the hell have I not made pizza for y’all, ever?” I asked. “...Then again, my Dad’s cookbook doesn’t have any pizza recipes in it.”

“You humans have your own style of pizza?” Cadance asked. “...Now I’m curious as to how that would look and taste.”

Katie raised her hoof. “Oh, pizza is easy. Do y’all have spaghetti sauce laying around, like marinara sauce?” She asked.

“The kitchens should, yes,” Cadance nodded.

“Oh, yeah, then that’s a cakewalk; human pizza’s really simple.” I walked over to Katie. “Me and my sister are gonna have some proper sibling bonding time, y’all go to the dining hall and we’ll be down with some proper pizza, not that cheesy bread bullshit.”

Several hours later, dinner was had, everypony had a sample of pizza along with whatever else the kitchens cooked up for dinner tonight. Now, I was sitting in my room, reading a book because I was smart. In fact, intelligence comes to me in waves, and… Okay, so I had some coffee. Like four cups of coffee during dinner. Lucky me, I don’t gotta shit myself. Unfortunately, I don’t think I am going to be able to sleep. Good thing Dave brought along the whole Star Wars Trilogy from Earth that I may, or may not have stolen from him for the trip.

While that was all happening, I sensed… a new presence. A new unicorn. Sure, there were plenty of ponies that my diagnostic spell could pick up on, but this unicorn was something I’ve never felt before. For one thing… her magic pool is fucking impressive just judging by how my ambient magic she’s letting off. Secondly, she’s right outside my door, which happened to be next door to Twilight’s room.

I didn’t pay much heed to this fact, she wasn’t barging into my room, after all.

Since the rooms are all soundproofed with actual soundproofing materials and then soundproofing spells, it is borderline impossible to eavesdrop on anyone. I did crack my door open just a tiny bit and heard Twilight’s door open. With that said, her door remained cracked… our mystery unicorn just tripped over something, probably Spike.

“My crown!” Twilight shouted.

Oh.

Okay so, for some stupid reason the Element of Magic was built into Twilight’s crown. It kinda makes sense, but why throw all your eggs in one basket with this, right? Anyway, if that gets stolen, Equestria is liable to getting fucked up by bad guys. So perhaps I should actually try and get that back.

With that said, I got up and out of bed as Twilight galloped past my room after the mystery unicorn that happened to be wearing a cloak. With that, I broke into a jog and kept on running. As we ran by, Twilight’s friends began to awaken, and Rainbow didn’t immediately take off flying ahead of us, which isn’t very Rainbow of Rainbow Dash. My family slept like a bunch of fuckin’ rocks and didn’t wake up.

As I kicked up the pace, Twilight glanced back at me, before she teleported ahead of the thief. The thief… teleported behind Twilight and kept on running, and lost her cloak in the process. That… is the most striking fur and mane colors I’ve ever seen. She’s got a bright, yellow coat and a red mane with a yellow streak going through it. It kinda looked like fire… BACON! It’s a bacon horse!

I ran past Twilight and kept running, mostly to see what this lady was gonna do, because… I could stop her at any point. “Source, do something!” Twilight pleaded as she caught up to me.

“She’s moving too quickly for me to tag her with anything. I’ve got an idea, though.”

We barged into a nearby storage closet as Twilight tackled the mystery cunt. We caught the unicorn, and the crown flew right into the Crystal Mirror. Well, shit-

“Sorry it had to be this way,” okay, stop paying attention, this bitch is a really cheesy bad guy. Ponies do not make for good bag guys as I’ve learnt. With that said, before anyone could stop me, I ran into the mirror behind the mystery mare. Reality began to warp and my body began to feel like it was on fire as reality faded into black.

Meanwhile, with the girls. Maeve included.

“...Yer telling me,” Maeve said as she started pacing. “That you had a student that threw a hissy fit and decided to leave to another dimension… because…”

“She wasn’t ‘growing’ at a pace she liked; she wanted to ascend to become an alicorn as it seemed… and she couldn’t get there. Not because her pace or her knowledge was slow, but because she couldn’t find who she was.” Princess Celestia sighed. “And… Source just ran into a portal, even if he knows what it is, with zero rhyme or reason, or care for what could be on the other side of it. He’s braver than he is intelligent.” She sighed. “Or he’s drunk and is going to have a field day… He has had a knack for being stupid on this trip in particular.”

“So… what’re we gonna do?” Twilight asked.

“We should probably send Twilight in before Source does anything stupid; the link the Crystal Mirror makes is only open for three days and three nights and closes at midnight on the third night. Then it is closed for thirty moons.”

“So once a month,” Maeve deduced.

After gathering up Twilight’s friends, and getting Twilight geared up, the newly crowned, newly ascended alicorn took a long deep breath, getting ready for a long, long journey. Only to be stopped by Rainbow Dash and her friends. “C’mon, Twilight, you can’t go through that portal without us!” Dash said, the Element Bearers all together and smiled, awaiting for their friend’s answer.

“Yes she can,” Maeve said, moving all five mares with her magic. “Y’all are all very important to this country’s national defense. On top of that, I mean no offense by this, but some of y’all have no bucking impulse control. Mainly Pinkie and Rainbow Dash. On top of that, it’s fuckin’ dangerous, Dash. It’s dangerous and y’all could possibly get murdered. I’d rather not send any of you if I could choose, but my Son’s already in there, and Twilight usually has a good head on her shoulders. Just let Twilight go at it alone.”

“...C’mon, Mrs. Code, we could help Twilight get her crown back faster!” Dash argued.

“Or get yourselves killed?” Maeve asked, she sat on her rear, and crossed her forelegs. “You ain’t winning this argument, Rainbow. I know how it feels to wanna help a friend out, but trust me, don’t.”

“...You remind me of a stern parent.”

“Because I am a mother. Just let Twilight go, and if she’s not back on the second day, I’ll go through and beat the shit out of Sunset Shimmer-”

Sunset Shimmer got thrown through the portal. Source walked out the portal right afterwards. “Man, that was cool.” On his head was Twilight's crown. “Been a hot minute since I had a Big Mac, thanks for paying Sunset!” He smiled… “Shit, I feel bad, now. I kinda told her something that traumatized her and stuff…” He started poking Sunset, who was on the ground in the fetal position and shivering. “Hey, lass, I was joking, get up!”

Sunset just squirmed and kept clutching the side of her head with her hooves.

…

“Source,” Princess Celestia looked up at her husband. “What the buck did you do to Sunset Shimmer and why does she look traumatized?”

“Oh, that’s her full name!” Source said after he slipped on a bronze ring onto Sunset Shimmer’s horn.

“You’re starting to sound like Pinkie Pie, Source, and it’s scary,” Twilight pointed out.

What Source did to Sunset Shimmer:

So the pony’s gone, if she’s still a pony on this side of the portal. She’s probably not since I’m not a pony on this side of the portal. It’s day… oh, there’s a girl that looks like the mystery mare. Cool. She’s running into what looked like an American High School, but we can’t be in America due to the lack of screams leaving the building… and the lack of gunshots. With that said, the crown is gone, so I had to go and get that before I did anything else… Why the fuck am I a teenager? Meh, it doesn't matter. I walked into the school building… and nobody batted an eye. What?

What kinda dumbshit security is that? I found the Principal’s office rather quickly since it was basically right next door to the front door.

That’s human Celly. She’s colored just like Celly, right down to how her skin matched my Celly’s fur. That’s kinda scary, actually, seeing some kids with blue skin.

There’s the mystery girl sitting outside the office.

I sat down next to her.

“Howdy,” I waved.

“Shut up.”

“That’s rude.”

“Shut. Up.”

“So…” I looked around and saw posters for the Fall Formal, with the only… candidate for being the Princess of the Fall Formal was the girl sitting next to me, Sunset Shimmer. “How’s it going, trying to be the Princess for the Fall Formal?” I asked.

“It… It’s going fine. Why?” Sunset asked.

“Eh, I dunno. Perhaps you’re looking for a Prince, hmm?” I asked.

“...No, I’m not. Why?”

“I dunno, you might have better chances at winning if you got a Prince, even higher chances of winning than you’ve already got.” I shrugged.

Sunset nodded. “You do drive a good point, but why would I choose you?”

“I ‘unno. You look pretty, I was gonna ask you out after the Fall Formal happens.”

“...You sound stupid,” Sunset pointed out. There was a small blush on her face after I said that. If she weren’t evil, I’d bet she’d try and hide behind her hair. Instead, she’s playing it cool.

“Cool. Wanna meet up for McDonalds after school?”

“...Sure. That actually sounds kinda nice, right now.” Sunset got up. “I’ve got to go; class is starting.” Sunset got up and left just as… Human Celly walked out of the office to probably wander around the school. She left her door open, so once she was around the corner, went into the office. I grabbed the crown, ran back outside, and to the statue I had gone to. I walked through it… and hid the crown. I then snuck right back through without nobody or nopony noticing

…

Now to capture Sunset Shimmer. Celly knows who she is, and while she has plans, I also have plans. I don’t think Celly wants to say goodbye to Sunset Shimmer.

Sunset actually met me for Mcdonalds after school. She saw me waiting by the steps and walked right up to me. Y’know, Sunset’s actually kinda pretty as a human, and as a unicorn, her colors are very striking. She’s no Celly, and I doubt I’d actually date Sunset Shimmer properly, but… hey, if I had to, I wouldn’t mind… assuming Sunset quits being a bitch.

“Howdy,” I greeted.

“Hey,” she kept walking. “C’mon, you wanted to get something after school, right?” She asked as I started following her.

“Yeah.” I hummed. “Thanks for takin’ my offer; I wouldn’t have expected to do anything like this any time soon.

“So where do you want to go, anyways? I know you said McDonalds, but…”

“Can we stop and get Marshmallows somewhere? I can pay if that’s too much to ask.”

“...No, I can cover the bill. The last guy I dated said he’d cover the bill, which is kind of weird. Besides, I’m doing fine on cash this week.” My stomach growled. “And you’re starving from the sounds of it. Nobody should have to go hungry.” Oh. A pony at heart; ponies don’t let each other starve and often pitch in to help each other out. That food drive thing I’ve been trying to get together will probably be a hit amongst ponies back home.

“Thanks. You do know the guy’s supposed to pay for the cost of the date, right?”

“No? I thought the girl usually pays for the date.” Sunset started looking at me like I’m stupid.

“...Alright then.”

When we got to McDonalds, after a quick stop at a gas station for the marshmallows, we ordered over the computer. Not too long afterwards, Sunset was just enjoying a thing of fries, while I had a Big Mac. It tasted almost as sad as the person who put it together, so it tasted pretty sad, but it wasn’t bad. It’s fucking Maccas, how bad can it possibly get at any point? I opened the bag of marshmallows after making quick work of my food.

“So, how’s life going on Earth, Sunset?” I asked as I popped a marshmallow in my mouth… Given that the main ingredient used in them is made out of animals, including horses or ponies, I dunno the specifics, I had a plan to get the poor girl to come with me.

“...What’s with that wording? On Earth?”

“Okay, I feel really bad for lying to you, after you paid for everything and have been a relatively decent person despite you stealing Twilight’s crown. Remember Celestia? Princess Celestia?”

“...You’re from Equestria and you’re here to stop me-”

“No, I’m here mostly to understand what your end goal is. After you get the crown on your head, what do you want to do after that? Take over Equestria with the possible power the Element of Magic can bring?” I asked.

“...Why do you care?”

“Because I’m married to Celestia. If you plan on hurting her, that’s gonna be a problem. Because… I don’t see her as anything other than my lovely wife, and I’d very much like her to not get hurt.”

Sunset then reached over and snagged a marshmallow before popping it into her mouth. “I… don’t know. I don’t want to hurt Princess Celestia; she’s almost like a second mother to me. I… haven’t really thought about what I’d do after I came back to Equestria… I suppose I'll take it over? Why haven’t you just tied me up, hit me in the back of the head, or drag me back to Equestria?” Well, she did what I was hoping she’d do, checkmate.

“Meh, I’d rather you come back willingly rather than unwillingly.” I hummed. Well, it would be checkmate if I actually wanted to fuck Sunset up.

Sunset then started glaring at me. “You said you were married to Princess Celestia?” She asked.

“Yeah. I am. Is that a problem?”

“How did you marry her?” Sunset asked. “She could do so much better than you.”

“Well, she’s a nice, strong mare that can obliterate the planet in a heartbeat. So every now and then she does enjoy being dominated, y’know?”

“...What?”

New game plan unlocked. “Yeah, y’know, we get into a lot of fun in the bedroom-”

“Okay stop trying to weird me out. Be honest, why do you want me to come back?”

“Y’know Celly loves ya like a daughter, right? She adored you and it broke her heart when you started being a cunt because… what? You thought she wasn’t teaching you right? Celly was willing to form your learning experience around what you wanted, but wanted to make sure you had a good grip on your magic control before proceeding. Since you never let her help you, or speak to you after a while, Celly didn’t know if you needed her.

“And she would've been fine with that, y’know? Twilight started doing the same thing before she became an alicorn. The difference was she was, and still is on good terms with Celly and they love each other.”

“What’s your point?” Sunset asked.

“Okay, I was gonna lie and say that marshmallows have horse bones in them, when it’s not fully true. But… Do you wanna live out your life trying to hurt people? To go out knowing that you held a stupid, fucking grudge against your mentor? Your mentor who only had your best interest in mind… Celly found ya in an orphanage, didn’t she? That’s what my wife told me.”

“...She did.”

“Bro.” I sighed. “YOU WERE HER FUCKIN’ DAUGHTER!” I growled. “Yeah, you had the benefits of learning magic from her, but I think my wife saw you as a daughter first and foremost, Sunset.”

Sunset started staring down at her tray. “She… Did?”

“Gee, I dunno. What do you think?”

Sunset started crying as she kept her gaze on the table. We sat quietly as Sunny started processing everything that led to this point. I could see the gears turning in her head as I got up to go buy some ice cream. When I came back, the ice cream machine at Maccas was broken, what a shock. So instead, I threw our trash out and sat back down. The sun was beginning to set and the natural light began to dim our table. It made the dining room a little bit more cozy. Sunset still kept staring at the table.

“...Can you take me home?” Sunset asked.

“Which one?” I asked.

“Okay… let me rephrase that. Would Princess Celestia take me back in? Not as a student, but…”

“Sunny, I came here hopin’ to at least settle things between ya both. I bet nobody but Luna noticed, Celly’s sister, and me. The hurt in her eyes when she realized what had happened… come on.”

“Wait, what about the Element of Magic?” Sunset asked.

“I already took it back to Equestria; it’s behind the Crystal Mirror. C’mon, let’s go.”

A small smile found its place on my face as I watched Sunset Shimmer run into Celly’s embrace. The two of them sat silently, crying. Not one of us uttered a word, nopony even acknowledged that the Element of Magic, or Twilight’s crown, was sitting on my head. Both my wife… and I guess Sunset’s an adopted daughter? I dunno. Don’t matter, both of them made it back to each other and they were happy.

I ushered everyone out of the room, even Luna after she almost opened her mouth to protest, and closed the door behind us. “Here’s your crown, Twi.” I plopped it back on her head. “That’s way better than what I was expecting for that meeting to go.” I chuckled.

“What… Did you do to Sunset? To make her come back like that?” Twilight asked.

“Oh, remember how you were brought in to learn under my wife’s wing at a young age?” I asked.

“I do, why?” Twilight asked.

“Sunset was brought in, just like you, at roughly the same age. There’s a key difference here, Twi… My wife found Sunny in an orphanage. It just happened that Sunset had an aptitude for magic. Celly was looking for a daughter first, and happened to also get a talented student out of it in the process. I just reminded Sunset that yeah, Celly’s not perfect, she’s not even the best teacher ever, but she means well and loves her students dearly. All of them. Every single one of them.”

“And my sister told you about this and nopony else?” Luna asked.

“She was expecting Sunset to come out at some point, nobody knew when though. Not even her. Celly’s birthday’s tomorrow, y’know. So what better than to run head first into a portal that might kill me, to reunite her with her daughter, aye?”

The doors clicked open and Sunset didn’t walk out. In fact, she was riding on Celly’s back, fast asleep. “My apologies everypony…” Oh, Celly was wearing makeup. It’s smeared to shit now, but she was wearing makeup. “I… may have-”

“Celly, if you fuckin say that you lost composure, I will spank you.” I threatened. “Who the hell’s gonna judge you for being so happy that you cried?” I asked. “Tell me who?”

“...Nopony,” Celly sighed.

“Hey, don’t talk to Mom like that!” Sunset growled. “I may be out of practice, but I’ll still kick your butt if you make her cry, old man!”

“Sunset, be more respectful to Source, please. He’s my husband.” Celly warned.

“...” Sunset slowly realized what the fuck that implied. “WHAT THE FUCK!?” Sunset yelled. “You got married and didn’t think to say that at any point, Mom?” D’aw, Sunset’s adorable. “At any point?”

“I said I was her husband,” I pointed out.

“Well, sorry, you gave me a lot to think about!” Sunset sighed. “Sorry, this is just a lot to take in… I’d never expect to… be doing this any time soon.” She gestured to my wife, who was smiling broadly at the prospect of having Sunset with her again. “What else changed, recently?”

“First, apologize to Twilight for stealing her crown; you did not have to involve her in your grudge against me, did you, young lady?” Celly asked.

One apology to Twilight later, we heard a set of tiny hooves. “Mom, I had a nightmare and Auntie Luna didn’t stop it for once,” Button sleepily said. He was wearing a sleeping cap. Oh my god. He quickly got scooped up by me and cradled. “Why is everypony awake? It’s almost midnight.” He asked. “Dad, what’s going on?” He looked up at me, well, tried. His eyes were still kinda closed as he tried to remove the eye crust from his eyelids.

I tried to tell Button what was going on. “There was a bit of excitement-”

“I have a brother now?” Sunset asked. She hopped off Celly, grabbed Button from my grasp, and slapped me away with her tail. “Oh…”

“This is unfair,” I grumble. “Whenever I wanna hold my baby, somebody takes him from me.” I grumble. That didn’t stop me from fighting back a smirk as Sunset started nuzzling Button and talking to him. Life’s going great.

Hopefully nothing fucks us over in the near future.

Author's Note

originally i was gonna bring Sunset over after having a scene of her getting traumatized with marshmallows. I even left some hints at what was supposed to happen, but figured making Sunset cry and hug Celly was a better. If this were a comedy, and I wanted to write Source OOC, then I woulda kept that scene. I may tried and recreate it and add it onto this story as a side story.

or i'll forget about it.

also fuck Equestria Girls.