Apple Hospitality

When you regain consciousness, you simply lay there, eyes clenched shut, blanket pulled up over your head, refusing to acknowledge the world around you. You aren't trying to pretend or delude yourself or anything--you know full well what just happened. No, this is a simple stubborn refusal to confront the truth.

Twilight sent you back.

You hear a faint rustle from what sounds like the next room... probably whoever brought your unconscious body inside after you reappeared on Earth. You don't know who they are, and frankly, you don't care. Not like it matters anymore.

You briefly entertain the dream that this is some far away country where you can start anew; someplace with decent people, where you might actually find a happy life. But no, they're still only human.

Maybe when you were young you could believe that the average person was good, but with one hard lesson after another, life slowly drilled the reality into your head: kindness and generosity are the exception, not the norm. It's simply human nature.

By contrast, ponies were naturally peaceful and good-natured. In all the months you spent in Equestria, not once had you heard of a single problem that wasn't caused by fear or a simple misunderstanding. Even all the trouble you had with the townsponies, it was really just that they were afraid because you looked like a monster that literally almost destroyed Equestria. Could you really blame them for their fear and mistrust? But even the worst of ponies would return to their natural kind-hearted ways with relative ease.

It's as if it took as much active and conscious effort for a pony to be selfish, greedy, or manipulative, as it takes for a human to be kind, honest, or altruistic.

You resist the urge to groan with frustration. You were already sick of Earth even before you slipped into Equestria. Now? Knowing what you've lost? Your blood runs cold with the sudden certainty that as long as you live, no matter what you do or where you go, you will never be truly happy in this pathetic world.

And with that, like a hammer blow across your chest, the truth really starts to sink in.

You fucked up.

You're back on Earth.

You will never see anypony ever again.

It's bad enough that you lost Twilight, Dash, Rarity and Pinkie... but Applejack, Big Mac, Granny, and even lil' Apple Bloom? Such a short time and they had become like family--those ponies meant the world to you! How could you have let this happen!?

Your throat tightens, tears well in your eyes, and before you even realize what you're doing, a tiny, pained whisper escapes your lips.

"Please, no..."

You hear a faint, "Hmm?" in response and nearly choke on a gasp. You clamp a hand over your mouth but it's already too late. There is another rustle from the other room and a few seconds later the door lets out a faint squeak as it swings open.

Then you hear a sound. A simple, mundane sound. A sound you've heard every day for months. A sound that causes your mind to go blank with shock and for a moment you forget to even breathe.

You hear hooves.

You throw the covers off and sit up so suddenly your head sways with lightheadedness, only to find you cannot see through the tears and the bright sunlight pouring through the open curtains next to you.

"Whoa! Relax dummy, it's only me!"

As shocked as you are, that voice is unmistakable. Even so, you raise an arm to block the sun and blink the tears away, not daring to hope until your eyes can confirm what your ears are telling you.

The technicolor blur at the door slowly resolves into a familiar shape.

"...D-Dash!?"

You gawk at the pegasus as your vision clears and she trots closer, saying, "Uh, yeah? Jeez, you look terrible, buddy."

Still hardly believing your eyes, you look around at your bedroom. Your equestrian bedroom, in Ponyville.

You swing your legs around and sit on the edge of the bed, squinting through the window. Ponies trot around the outskirts of Ponyville just like any other day.

Your mind reeling, you whisper faintly to yourself, "I'm... still here?"

Rainbow Dash hops up and glides a few feet to land on the bed beside you. She bumps your shoulder with a hoof to get your attention and you turn to see her wearing a sly smirk, "So, uh... nice dream, or what?"

"Huh?"

She taps the mattress near your hip, drawing your gaze down to your naked morning wood. You simply stare at it for several seconds as your brain tries to catch up with recent events. Then you yelp, snatch the blankets up, and attempt to scoot away from her.

"W-What? Why am I naked!? Get out!"

"Whoa, what?" She steps back with an awkward frown and her wings flare out nervously, "Dude chill, I just took your clothes off while you knocked out, Anon."

"What!?" You gape at her.

"What? I figured you'd be more comfortable, what's the big deal!?"

"I'm naked!"

"Well doy, so am I ya goof."

You just stare at her for a moment, then rub your face with both hands and take a deep breath, trying to calm down and rub the sleep from your eyes. After a moment you relax marginally and open your eyes--then hurriedly grab another handful of blanket to try and mask the tent you were pitching in your lap.

Rainbow Dash rubs the back of her head, "Uh, Anon? What's going on? You look like Tartarus and you're being really weird."

Your breath shudders slightly as you turn to look at her, "Sorry, I just... I'd been so sure Twilight sent me back to Earth, then I wake up and see you, suddenly realize I'm naked, plus I'm probably hungover... j-just too many feelings at once." Though actually now that you think about it you don't feel hungover at all.

Rainbow Dash scoffs, "Twilight only magicked the drunk away, dork. Said you might have a mild hangover at most, but it shouldn't--" She does a double take, then scrunches her muzzle in disbelief, "Hold up... you seriously thought Twi would just send you back to Earth? Like, against your will? Seriously?"

You rub your face again and shudder slightly, "Just... give me a moment, please."

"Aw, come on! You wake up looking like death and I'm just supposed to sit here and--"

"Dash."

You slump forward, resting your elbows on your knees with your head in your hands.

"Please."

She inhales sharply as if to speak again, then hesitates and slowly sighs instead, "Oh, alright. Fine."

You feel her plop down beside you and you take a few deep breaths to calm yourself. Then you lift your head and look outside again. Your house is on the outskirts but this window faces into town so you can see plenty of ponies milling about.

You rub your eyes again.

Could it really be true? Are you really still in Ponyville? You're almost afraid to believe it, you'd been so certain...

You remember a way to test if you're dreaming and pinch your nose, then try to inhale through it anyway. You can't. Not dreaming then. Illusion? ...No, probably not--and even if so, illusions are magic, so you must still be in Equestria.

You're still in Equestria.

A smile slowly spreads across your face. You turn to look at Rainbow Dash and a tiny incredulous laugh escapes your lips. You reach out and gently poke her in the shoulder as if checking she's really real. She looks down at your finger, then back up at you, one eyebrow raised.

Your chest suddenly swells with emotion and you start to giggle uncontrollably even as your eyes well up with tears once again. You lurch sideways and wrap your arms around her barrel, pulling her into a tight hug.

"Wha--Anon!? H-Hey, not the wings, NOT THE WINGS!"

She writhes and struggles but you just hug her tighter, your whole body shaking with a mixture of laughter and sobs. She stops struggling and just stares at you in confusion.

"Uh... 'kay, what is even happening right now?"

You close your eyes and bury your face in her mane, "I'm... I'm still here!"

She wiggles slightly and groans, "Anooon, you're ruffling my feathers..."

Suddenly gripped by the horrible fear of ruining yet another friendship, you jerk back and release her, "S-Sorry! I'm sorry, Dash! Here, I'll, uh, I'll fix it..."

You lay your hands on her closest wing and slowly run your fingers through her crooked primaries, trying to make the large feathers lay straight and flat again. She gasps and her eyes widen, then roll up into her head as she tries--and fails--to suppress a low moan of pleasure, her head tilting back as a shudder runs up her barrel and her hind leg twitches.

Then her whole body tenses up and her head whips around, wide eyes staring at you in horror. She yelps, then both wings and all four legs snap out as she violently flings herself away from you. She lands in a heap on the other side of the room, but before you can even open your mouth to ask if she's okay, she's back on her hooves and shouting at you.

"What the buck, Anon! What is wrong with you!?"

You flinch and raise your hands defensively, "S-Sorry, I'm sorry! What's wrong, what did I do!?"

She gapes at you, "What... you don't...?" She just shakes her head then straightens and shouts again, "You can't just... just reach out and--and preen somepony, Anon!"

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't know!"

"How could you not know that!? Everypony knows that!" She glares at you, breathing hard and blushing intensely.

"I'm... I'm not a pony... sorry." You grimace and cringe away, your voice dropping almost to a whimper, "Please don't leave me..."

Her brows furrow and she opens her mouth to speak, then closes it, then opens and closes again. She sits down and tilts her head, staring at you incredulously, her wings still spread wide.

"You... seriously didn't know?"

You jerk your head side to side and the pegasus snorts gently, shuffles nervously, then takes a few steps closer as you mutter again, "I'm sorry..."

Her ears fold back at your pathetic tone of voice, when she sighs and hops back up onto the bed, "It's okay, dummy. You didn't know any better, right?" She jabs your leg with a hoof, "But now you do, so you'd better not try that again!"

"N-No, of course not... never."

You take a deep breath, trying once again to stabilize your emotions. After a short, uncomfortable silence, you look up sheepishly, "So... mind explaining why it's so wrong?"

She turns away and shifts her hooves awkwardly, "It, uh... it feels really good."

"And that's bad?"

She huffs and shakes her head, "No, like... really good. They say it's even better than sex," she glances sidelong at you, "It's, um... only for lovers, kay?"

"...Wait, so I basically just raped you?"

She coughs awkwardly and rubs the back of her head with a hoof, "Uh, I mean, sorta I guess? BUt, like... you didn't know any better, right? Can't really blame you."

"Oh god... Dash, I'm so sorry..." You drop your head in your hands again, "Ugh! Can't fucking do anything right!"

"Whoa whoa, hey, easy! Come on, Anon..."

She leans over and lays a wing over your shoulders, nuzzling the side of your neck, "I mean yeah it was pretty uncool, but it's alright, really. I'm not mad or anything." She shivers slightly, then murmurs, "Jeez... I almost don't even mind."

You glance up at her and raise an eyebrow, "And what's that supposed to mean?"

She blushes again and sits up, not meeting your gaze, "Eh... it's nothing."

You hesitate, then turn to look out the window again, dropping the subject for now. The initial joy of realizing you're still in Equestria is starting to fade and you find yourself considering the future.

Dash must guess where your thoughts are headed as she shuffles a little closer and asks, "So... whatcha gonna do now?"

You sigh and shrug your shoulders, thinking through it out loud, "I dunno. I fucked up bad, Dash. I fucked everything up and now AJ hates me, which means townsponies will probably never trust me, so I figure it's only a matter of time before Twilight has no choice but to exile me or return me to Earth."

Her wing suddenly slides off your back as she leans forward into your line of sight, "Waitwaitwait, hold up. I thought this was all Applejack's fault?"

You slowly shake your head, "No... it's my fault. I shouldn't have tried to hold her back, should have just trusted her and let her work... and I should have waited for her damn cycle to finish instead of thinking with my dick!" You sigh again, your breath catching slightly in your throat, "I'd give anything to go back and redo the last twenty-four hours."

"Sounds to me like you're having a lot of trouble thinking straight and figuring out what to do next." You nod glumly and she sets a hoof on your shoulder, "Don't worry, Anon. I know just what to do."

You glance up at her, surprised.

She grins and gestures at the lump in your groin with a wingtip, "You just need some flank to help you with that! Then you'll be thinking clearly again in no time!"

You stare at her, "Wait, y-you mean..."

She nods happily. Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise and you raise your hands, stammering nervously, "That's--uh... I mean, I'm f-flattered but, w-well... it's j-just, I, uh..."

She furrows her brow at your stammering, then her eyes go wide, "Wait a sec, you didn't think I meant me, did you?"

You wince and shrug sheepishly, "Sorry... stupid, I know."

She chuckles nervously and rubs her neck awkwardly, "Well... you are pretty cool and all, but..." She blushes and turns away, wings rustling slightly, "I couldn't do that to Applejack, y'know? I mean, it's only been a day, right?"

Wait, was she actually considering it? You gawk at the back of her head and after a moment, she turns back around. Upon seeing your face, she immediately starts giggling uncontrollably.

"What's so funny?" You ask, folding your arms grumpily.

"I was only kidding! The look on your face! PFFFF--" She breaks down in another fit of giggles and you just groan tiredly.

You wrap the blanket around your waist as you stand to fetch some clothes, then head into the bathroom to change. Just before you close the bathroom door, you ball up the blanket and toss it at the still laughing pegasus. The lump of fabric catches the air just before it reaches her, spreading out like a perfectly thrown net.

Shutting the door, you allow yourself a small smile as she squawks and begins to flail wildly underneath the blanket.

When you step out of the bathroom, Rainbow Dash is nowhere to be seen, even as you walk out into your living room. You plop down on the couch and sigh heavily.

What you can't figure out is why Twilight didn't send you back home. Why delay the inevitable? You'd give anything to get Applejack back, but at your first thoughts of apologizing, her furious eyes burn into you and the last thing she screamed echos through your mind.

No... you don't know how it got so bad so suddenly, but it's probably too late to apologize now. Whatever you had with her is gone.

Your stomach growls and you suddenly realize how hungry you are. You reluctantly get up to find something to eat, open the first cabinet, then mentally correct yourself: something to eat that isn't apples.

As you are considering a simple bowl of just plain white rice, a hoof delicately knocks on your door. You sigh and start walking towards it when another hoof knocks more urgently and you hear a faint murmuring. When you open the door, you see Pinkie and Rarity, but before Rarity can even speak, Pinkie takes one looks at you and immediately slams into your chest, hugging you fiercely.

"Pinkie!" Rarity face-hoofs and you look down at the ball of pink fluff on your chest.

"Hi Pinkie."

You brace for her usual flurry of words and questions as she looks up at you, but instead she just sniffs and silently returns her head to your chest. Feeling a bit awkward, you stroke her mane and look up at Rarity.

"So... what are you two doing here?"

"Well, Rainbow Dash told us what happened with Applejack. I... we thought we would stop by and offer our comfort and... possibly help?" Pinkie squeezes you tighter and Rarity takes a step forward, "I'm so sorry, darling. I know how much you enjoyed your time at Sweet Apple Acres."

You grunt and turn away, dragging Pinkie along as you walk back to the couch. When you sit down, she simply curls up beside you, hooves still wrapped around your waist. Rarity follows you inside and jumps up to sit beside Pinkie, turning to face you.

"I know you must feel just awful, but surely everything will turn out alright in the end?"

You lean back and close your eyes, letting out a short, frustrated sigh, "Am I gonna have to explain this to every pony in town?"

Rarity inhales sharply at your tone, but hesitates before continuing gently, "I'm sorry, Anon. I don't mean to make you repeat yourself. Of course you needn't talk if you don't want to."

You sigh and lift your head to look at her, "Rarity, you of all people--uh, ponies--should know what this means. You saw what that crowd was like before Twilight showed up. Nopony will trust me after this. I'm done. I may as well just go back to Earth now."

Rarity shuffles her hooves awkwardly, "I... I'm sure Twilight can keep the townsponies in line." You just scoff and she falls silent. Pinkie nuzzles your belly and after a moment Rarity continues, "So, um... Dash suggested you might think more clearly after some, ah... relief?"

"I'm not going to one of your damn sex parties."

She doesn't respond immediately, but when she does speak up, she can't quite keep the twinge of hurt from her soft voice, "I didn't really think you would... No, I thought maybe I could help you a little more... directly."

You resist the urge to gawk. No way you're jumping to conclusions again like you did with Dash. Instead you sigh and look up at her, saying, "Sorry... I didn't mean to snap at you like that. Exactly what sort of help are you offering?"

Rarity shuffles awkwardly, "I... w-well, I just thought, maybe you'd like to, um... y-you know--"

Pinkie raises her head and looks you dead in the eye, "Anon, would you be happy again if you could rut me or Rarity?"

Oh.

Guess you actually would have been right this time.

You stare in open astonishment at Pinkie, your mouth hanging wide open.

"Pinkie!" Rarity cries out in alarm, "You can't just come right out and say it so bluntly!"

She ignores Rarity's words and continues in a quiet voice, "You can, you know. Almost nopony ever has, but you can if it will help you. I just want to see you smile again."

At your continued stunned silence, her ears fold back and she looks over her shoulder at Rarity. The unicorn sighs, then looks over at you, "I'd have preferred to be a bit more tactful about it, but... yes. If you think it would make you feel better, we're here for you. Whether as friends, or as... a little more."

She shuffles a little closer, squeezing between Pinkie and the back of the sofa, "It's your choice, of course. I wouldn't dream of forcing your hoof on the matter. I just wanted you to know the option is on the table."

Pinkie looks back at you and you finally regain some control of your voice, "N-No, that's... that's alright..."

"Nonny, it's okay, really!" Pinkie says urgently, "You shouldn't try to suppress these urges if it makes you feel so bad."

"You... I'm not, it's fine."

Rarity nods politely, "Well... alright. I just want to sure you're absolutely certain first. I won't pretend it will make everything okay again, but if it might help even a little bit, well... it might be worth trying?"

You shake your head a little faster than necessary, "I-I don't think--"

"Rarity and I could even help you together! We've never done that before, so it would be a whole new kind of offer!" She gives you a sly grin, "Even at our parties, it's not often you get an offer like--"

"Fuck's sake, it's not the sex!"

Their ears droop in unison and they flinch back slightly. You rub your eyes with the arm Pinkie doesn't have pinned to your side.

"Sorry... it's just--I love her, y'know? Sex would probably just make me miss her more. Besides, like Dash said, it's only been a day... be pretty shitty of me to take an offer like that so soon, don't you think?"

Pinkie lowers her head to your chest again and sniffs pitifully. Rarity looks away awkwardly, seeming unsure how to continue, but then her ears perk up, "Well how about a date, instead?"

You give her a little glare and she fidgets slightly, "N-Not with either of us, but I happen to know somepony who would love to get the chance to know you a little better."

"Isn't going on a date the day after the breakup almost as bad as having sex?"

"Not at all, darling! This will only be a casual, friendly dinner--testing the waters, so to speak. There are no obligations or expectations here. I don't know if it will help, of course, but making a new friend might be just what helps you move on."

You hesitate and look at the floor thoughtfully. Rarity adds, "If nothing else, simply getting out of the house should help you feel better, right?"

You snort softly, feeling a little uncomfortable with the suggestion but unable to refute it. She leans forward and gently places a hoof on your arm just above where Pinkie is holding you. "I know you're lonely, dear. Twilight, Dash, Pinkie, Me... we all care about you deeply, but we're just so busy these days... you need friends you can just casually hang out with, without needing to plan around such difficult schedules."

You sigh and glance up at her, "And what if I say no and tell you to leave?"

She huffs slightly, "Anon, darling, I'll leave you alone right now if you ask me to. I would never dream of forcing you to accept my help... but I would be ever so worried about you."

"Why?" You ask simply.

"...Pardon?"

"Why worry about me," You say in a dull monotone.

Pinkie whimpers faintly and nuzzles your chest as Rarity stammers slightly, "Why... Why worry? Oh my dear! Anon, you are simply a delight to have around! W-Well, usually, of course." She giggles nervously, then continues, "You're kind, you're considerate... compassionate, hard working, punctual, trustworthy... why you even go out of your way to help ponies after they've been rude to you! You are truly a wonderful person, Anon!"

You look away again, feeling intensely awkward under the onslaught of praise.

Rarity leans forward even further, "Darling, please do not let random ponies warp your own opinion of yourself. Every single pony that has taken even five minutes to know you better has had naught to say but praise."

"Except the one pony I care about most..."

She leans in and nuzzles your cheek, "I know, I know... I'm sure it hurts terribly, but I promise it does get better. You just have to give it a chance. Wallowing in your self-pity here will only make you feel worse. I really do believe you'll feel better if you get out and try to enjoy yourself."

You take a deep breath, then shrug your shoulders weakly, "Maybe you're right... I guess it can't hurt to try, right?"

Pinkie looks up at you, smiling hesitantly, "You mean you'll really do it?"

"I... guess--"

She leaps up and wraps her forelegs around your neck, squealing with joy, "Oh Nonny, I'm so happy! I just know you'll feel better and you'll know just what to do afterwards!"

A cerulean glow surrounds her as Rarity gently pries her away from your head, "Yes, I am glad you agreed, Anon. The mare in question is out of town at the moment, but shall we say... tomorrow night at sundown?"

"I d-didn't--"

"I'm thinking the Caffhay would be a good fit--not so fancy as to impose any expectations on the evening, but nice enough that it should be quiet and relaxing for the both of you."

Then she notices your mild distress and sets a comforting hoof on your arm, "Don't worry, darling, I know you still aren't familiar with the town yet. I'll be here tomorrow evening to guide you to the Caffhay."

You stammer but Rarity ignores you hand claps her hooves excitedly, "Ooh she is going to be just thrilled when she finds out! She's been looking forward to meeting you for a while now."

She hops off the couch and trots toward the door, dragging Pinkie in her magic behind her, who rapidly waves a hoof at you.

"Bye Nonny!"

"I'll see you tomorrow, Anon!"

Even as you open your mouth to stop her, the door shuts with a certain sense of finality.

You sigh heavily and stand to return to the kitchen and make your rice. Probably wouldn't have been able to change their minds anyways. Still, maybe she's right and it will actually help?

You squash that hope before it has a chance to bloom--you already made that mistake last night with Big Mac.