Author's Note
Word pad doesn't have a spell check so neither did I. I hope to update the spelling and grammar mistakes overtime. Editing, however, is not nearly as much fun as writting. Please enjoy this story anyways.
I went over the first chapter so far. Probably missed a few.
The Castle
Luna was dreaming.
In her dreams she saw the pale shadows of the lives of those who lived so, so far bellow her. They danced in pantomimes of their daily lives, living happy lives under the warm sun. Her sun, whom seemed even further away now. Try as she might she could not see her sun. Long had it's warm rays stopped reflecting her cold exterior. So she watched, trapped in a dreamless sleep, for ages. Until one day things changed. She grew more aware, her mind freed from her 1000 year haze. It explored the reaches of the rock she called home. She recalled her rage. She recalled what she was now. She would be prisioner here no longer. Soon, she would break free, and when she did the lands bellow would know terror again! When she was free, and it was only a mater of time, she would make the endless night she had been trapped within a reality for all! In the cold night she w-
"SISTER!"
Luna was dreaming. Now she was awake. She shivered, this was one of her least favorite dreams. The warm smile of her sister greeted her. "Sorry to interupt your nap dear sister, but you looked like you were caught in quite the nightmare. Are you alright?"
"Oh um. Yes. Of course my sister. We were...dreaming of being chased by an angry cake. Too many sweets for us. We'll never nap after desert again." she lied, though her tone was light and soft. Her sister laughed
"Well next time save some for me! We'll have it together and then perhaps it won't be so scary" Luna made herself smile and got up from the lounge seat. It hadn't been very long since she was welcomed back into canterlot castle. A faithful day when her sister's protege freed her from the physicial manifestation of her hate and jealousy. But Luna still felt the chains on her heart.
"Well Dear sister, I'm going to the library while we have a bit of peace and quite. Perhaps you'd like to join me? If you can stay awake~" Celestia interupted her thoughts. Luna didn't have to force the smile too much this time "We'd be happy to join you, just give us a moment to collect ourselves."
"Of course"
And with that she walked away, leaving Luna to wonder about her sister's diet and she watched her go. A small chuckle escaped her at the thought, but the mirth was short lived. Her sister had graciously allowed her to live here again. She was...warm. Affectionate. Maybe too much. She figured she knew the reason why pretty well: she could no longer be trusted. Her sister must imagine at any moment she could return to her rage and fury, and threaten the lands she loved so much. Luna didn't blame her, she also loved this land (maybe not as much as her sister) and didn't want anything to happen to it again. But she knew she was a liability and needed to be kept on a tight leash. Her sister had been spending a lot of time with her recently...probably an excuse to do so. Still, her heart did ache for her company, so it wasn't so bad. And she could tell her sister was genuine in her affections. She wasn't sure how much she deserved it though.
Looking through the vast halls of the castle did not improve her mood. This place always felt so lifeless to her. She had never felt at home back then, and things certainly hadn't gotten any better. She daydreamed about the castle where she and her sister first lived.
It had been some time since Starswirl vanished forever from equestria, leaving a power vacuum in his wake. Celestia was always his brightest student, and was loved by her people. She would ascend the throne. As much as Luna begged her to stay and rule from the castle of the two sisters, she had to see reason eventually. Her sister knew it was not a very aproachable place for the public. Luna wouldn't let her go through such a dangerous and exciting change in her life alone. She would need her best friend and sister for support! Though she was tired of feeling like a tag-a-long. The moon was ever an accesory to the sun.
She would miss this place. The room architecture never felt too empty, and the secret passages and hallways let Luna enjoy a walk through the castle if she wasn't feel particularly social. And the warmth of the library where she spent nights cuddling with her sister over their studies.
Right, the library. Luna shook off the memories. Her hooves had carried her to where she was intending to go while her mind was elsewhere.
Celestia waited incredibly impaitently within the inviting halls of the canterlot library. She leafed through her book only half reading, her eyes must have glazed over the same paragraph at least a dozen times. She had been doing her absolute best to try to make Luna feel welcome and comfortable after her long awaited return, but her kind gestures and words clearly weren’t quite enough. ‘Tia wondered if maybe some grand sweeping gesture would suddenly solve her problem, but for no lack of effort she couldn’t come up with one sufficent. She didn’t want it to feel fake. She let out a deep sigh. How could she prove to her sister that this time would be diffrent? How could she erase the pain she must have felt? This was a task too great for even an alicorn. Maybe her pupil’s studies in ponyville would give her an idea somewhere along the way..
Her thoughts were intrupted by someone fidgiting with the door. She opened it to reveal her guest for the evening, looking quite huffy and upset.
“We are eternally grateful for twilight and her friends, but must they have made us so small?? This is getting absurd.”
Celestia couldn’t hold back a laugh “I don’t know dear sister, I think you’re pretty cute like this” Luna only responded by sticking her tounge out at her sister and taking a seat in the library. Laughter turned into quiet reflection. Celestia was a fan of high adventure stories, while her sister enjoyed the stories in history books. Luna sat with one such book now. She had 1000 years of history to catch up on. Only the most avid (and possibly purple) of book readers would be able to binge such a backlog.
The tension in the library was far from easily ignored. Though the library itself was large, the space the sisters occupied felt small and closed in. No one wanted to be the one to say anything, but clearly someone needed to. Both sisters wondered what they could even say. Luna thought to herself what she imagined Celestia must be thinking about. If she were like her sister, where would she be? Well her sister invited her here so she must be glad that she had joined her. Maybe they though the peace of the library would prevent them from doing something awful in the future. Luna let out a soft sigh and rested her head on her book.
“You look like me back during our studies” Tia’s sunny warm smile greeted her “Remember you would always scold me?” and Luna nodded her head, remembering the days and nights of reading textbooks.
“We had told you that you were a great student, and not to get discouraged by all the words...even when you just wanted to read fantasy novels”
Celestia chuckled in agreement “I’m not sure I would have ever made it through Starswirl’s schooling without your help.”
“You would not have made it through a lot of things without our help.” That was the wrong thing to say and she regretted it at once, much too barbed for her actual intent. The library was silent again. Celestia was the one to break the silence again.
“Do you..hate me?” Luna removed herself from her less then comfy pillow with a jolt
“What? Preposterous..why would you ask that of us?” Luna Bristled.
“Come on Luna, there are very good reasons you might have to hate me. We must be honest.”
Luna let out a sigh in response “No. There are not. You should be the one who harbors hate towards us. We would be suprised if you do not.”
“Absolutely not!” Celestia seemed indignant “I was the one who sent you away for so long, why would I be the one who gets to hate anything?”
“Celestia. Centuries ago we lost control of ourselves. We let out jealousy and rage consume us, and we placed you and the whole land in danger. We attacked you without warning, we threatened to cosume this good kingdom in everlasting darkness. There is a clear villian to this story and they’re sitting next to you. You needn’t pretend you do not see it as well.”
“I see my sister.” She declared in harsh tone. Luna bit at her lip. The library was silent for another long, drawn out, excessive moment.
“It is..alright to still be angry with us. We doubt the people have so soon forgiven t-”
“Luna, enough!” Celestia barked in a orderly tone. Luna’s head hung low. She was too used to being spoken to that way. Celestia, for her part, clearly noticed her mistake “Sorry, it’s just that... this sort of talk isn’t helping you any. I promise I’m not mad at you after...1000 years Luna! I sent you away for far too long. I honestly can’t believe you still want to live with me.”
Now it was Luna’s turn to shout “Of course we do! We have been by your side since the start!”
“And I failed to apreciate that!” Luna couldn’t counter. Her sister went on “You were always trapped within my shadow, so well hidden that I didn’t even notice you were suffering. And then, oh boy, then you finally worked up enough nerve to talk to me about your problem, and I shrugged you off! Even now here I am talking over you.”
“N-no it is..alright..the floor is yours”
“Is it though? I’m hopeless Luna. I don’t know how to not be this way. But I want so badly to never hurt you again.”
Celestia rubbed her eye. Luna’s ears looked like a disapointed dogs they hung so low on her face, her frown even lower. “This is..also..what we want.”
And then the library was silent again.
Luna tried to speak but couldn’t think of the words. Her sister had so accurately described what had happened to her. Perhaps her sister really did care? Well she always cared. What a foolish thought. Just...more then Luna had thought. That only left Luna. Her sister grew better but she was the same disapointment. Starswirl’s second best and no one to blame it on any longer s-
“What was it like in the moon.”
Celestia’s words seemed so distant. She wouldn’t even meet her eyes.
“Uh...oh? Right yes our...time in the moon.” She took a deep breath to steady herself.
“Cold. Always cold. Do you know how a body is warm? It was like being made of ice. We lost ourselves in there to a degree. Our mind was placated but awake, caught in an endless dream.”
“I... see.”
“We..couldn’t see you. But we saw the land bellow. It filter up to us in strange etheral dreams. We were glad to know of Equestria’s prosperity, but wished so badly we could touch, or feel, or interact in any single way with what was going on bellow”
“It sounds as though these 1000 years have been hard on you.”
“We...can not lie to you sister. It wasn’t easy to be so far away from your warmth.”
There was a pause as the two siblings examined the ceiling like it would give way to the canvas of the night sky. Celestia spoke again
“Sister...you can grant dreams to ponykind right?”
“It has...always been our duty to watch over the dreams of the people in the land. We are eagar to return if that is what you mean?”
“No... though if that brings you joy feel free.” a pause “Luna, can you grant me a dream?”
This had Luna very confused. Was this how she was going to make it up to her sister? Would some sweet dream be enough for her? She couldn’t understand the motivation.
“What...sort of dream?”
“I want you to show me what it was like trapped within the moon. I want you to make me suffer like you did.”
“Absolutely not!” Luna screamed, up from her seat in an instant with her wings poofed out like frightened kitten. Rage crawled out of her throat “How can thee ask such a foolish thing of us?? Have you lost sense??”
“Please!” The white alicorn was practically begging “How else can we attone for what we did to you, our only sister!”
Luna took another moment to find her words. “What you ask... is foolish. This won’t make us feel better. It will simply make you feel worse. We will not ever do this! Do you understand? We hurt you once before, we will not do it again on purpose this time! Never again!” Her face was deep crimson like her rage.
Celestia looked towards the ground. She had to move the book so she wouldn’t damage library property. “Luna...I...I don’t know what else to do. I’ve tried to make you feel welcome her but I can’t ever make up for what I did to you. Everything was because of me. I pushed you to the point of breaking, and then punished you to your own personal Tarturus! I don’t know how else to fix this, please tell me what I can do!”
“You can’t.”
The words almost didn’t come from Luna, like they were coming from somewhere else
“Then... then return to hating me! Feel as much fury as you want! Surely any bit of it i deserve. W-”
“No!” Tears were streaming now. Luna made herself as tall as she could “No.” Quieter this time “We do not want to hate you. We let it consume us and...We don’t know how you can ever trust us again.”
“Because you’re my sister.”
The answer was so simple. Enough to resonate.
“Well... the same to thee! We... forgive you celestia! What you did to us hurt us in ways we won’t be the same from ever again, but we forgive you! We just wish to live with our sister again... we wish to know your love and light because it’s the only place we are going to recieve it from!”
Celestia wrapped the small horse up in her strong hooves and stronger wings. Luna shared the embrace. Words were difficult now. “I promise it will be diffrent this time... I-I had 1000 years to sit and think about all the ways I mistreated you. I’m going to be more attentive. I’m going to treasure you like I should have!”
Luna physically could not reply as the air filled with soft sobbing.
It would be some time before the library was quiet again, Celestia dried her own tears with a feathery wing, Luna finally spoke up “We... suppose that the two of us have both made many errors.”
“Too many to count! I have so much drama to catch you up on”
Luna chuckled a little bit. “We will try not to be too harsh in our judgement.” She stopped while she formulated the words she wanted to say next “We think that it is clear there is no true villian among us. We have hurt each other and a both worthy of forgiveness. Perchance. Mayhaps.” Celestia let out another laugh “You just think huh? Well trust me. I don’t think I know.” As was far too comon Luna’s resulting mirth was short lived. “It... will not be so easy for the citizens of Equatria. We still feel they will not forgive and forget so soon.”
“Nonsense. Back when you first...left... all of them were constantly sad to not see you by my side like you always had been. Now those folks are mostly gone, but the ones around this day an age are extremely excited to get to see you at all.”
“Truly? But...how can we be certain they do not see us as a grand evil even still?”
The resulting silence of the library was deafing. Once a place where said quiet would bring peace, now Luna was trapped with the demons in her head. “We... see. So then they will think as such”
“No! it’s not that... it’s uh... oh goodness. This..I can’t believe I let it go on so long.” And the dark furred mare looked on at her in confusion. These words made no sense without their context.
“What. Do you mean.”
And celestia began to regale her with a tale, or better yet a conffession.
“Some time ago, shortly after I...did what I had done, I had panicked when asked what was happening. I either didn’t want them to think bad of you and thought the whole story would be too much, or was just trying to save my own mane...” she let out a sigh usually only given by overworked retail employees “I hate lying. But I lied. I told a complete fabrication. I told them ‘oh yes, my sister was attacked by an evil spirit and bravely decided to sacrifice herself. She should never be forgotten!’ and they all listened because I am ruler of the land. But I sure didn’t feel like it in that moment.”
“So you lied.. .for us?” She was trying to peice together the information in her mind, confused and still a little drained.
“Yes it would seem so” she lets out a grand sigh.
Luna bit her lip for a moment “We are...touched you would do this for us. But we are also distraught. They know naught of what we’ve done. We may be accepted, but not for what we trully are. The horrid monster that lurks just out of site”
“Luna enough. I know I promised to listen to you but that doesn’t mean beating up on yourself. You are a beautiful, kind, sweet, sometimes silly sister. You and I made some critical mistakes. If my little ponies do not love you than I rule over dirt, for I might as well have no kingdom. You will be welcomed again. I hate to ask this after so long spent away, but we just need even more time.”
Luna thought for a bit..and then gave a placated nod “We hope you’re right... would you pass us our book?” A smirk just out of her site “Oh, comfy now are we?”
“Very funny. It would just be nice to read with you. Like times of eld.”
And with that the two sisters would read in peace, but their minds wandered. Celestia thought she finally had that one grand gesture she could do that she wanted so badly. She understand it wouldn’t solve anything, but it may get the ball rolling. Luna had darker thoughts. She was trying to figure out how she could hold herself accountable to the kingdom. To make sure she never hurt her sister that way again.
“Sister, where in equestria are you taking us?” Luna was glad she got away without the blindfold at least. Celestia practically pushed her by the hindquaters to a building nearby. “I told you it’s a surprise!” Wow. How helpful. They arrived at the location, and the doors swung open nervously to.. a party? Canterlot residents where strewn about, and a banner stated ‘Welcome back, Luna!’ The guest of honor sat in the doorway confused.
“Well go on, this is your party!” and Luna was gently pushed the rest of the way through. Someone took notice. One of the socalites greeted her nigh imediately. She didn’t know their name yet, having just gotten back to canterlot. “Ah the mare of the hour!” They did a short bow before her “I must say, it was incredible news to see you’re back! Canterlot is brighter for it.” Luna sat in stunned silence for a second before bowing her head slightly “We are glad to be back. We hope to be the light in the darkest of nights for our dear people.” Some more akward words exchanged and she shuffled away with her sister. In a harsh tone she whispered into her ear “What are you playing at sister.” Celestia smirked in that slightly annoying way she tended to do so “Well, you said you didn’t feel apreciated. And I just happened to have a bunch of ponys hanging around who were both looking for a chance to party, and glad to see you back.”
“Well played.” She grumbled out her response. “But this proves nothing”
“Come now Luna this isn’t about winning points. Go and enjoy yourself. I’m sure most ponies have something to say to you here.” Luna sighed like a grouchy child and moved up to where the refreshments were, awkwardly sipping on a glass. Once again someone else aproached her out of the blue “Hey um..wow...it’s an honor princess.” They looked like they wanted to bow. She made a gesture with her hoof, glass still raised to her face “None of that for tonight. Rise. Have you something you wish to tell us?” Their excited nods told quite the story. “Yeah it’s just like, wow. You’re such an inspiration. The way you like got banished to the moon but like, you’re here again and like...sometimes we all feel like we have a monster inside you know? Anyways like wow. You’re so cool. Love your mane.” Luna blinked. Was this how ponies spoke now? “We are uh...like totally grateful. Hmm. Yes.” That seemed to satisfy them and she walked away. Luna sighed. Well, at the least she was well liked by the..hip and cool folks of the kingdom.
And it went on. Many folks of many walks of canterlot life. But as something grew like a dark heavy stone in her heart. Her replies grew increasingly forced. She wasn’t even taking in the compliments after a point. There was a breaking point when she was called on stage by her sister to give a speech following her return. And so she began in.
“Good people of canterlot, the gernosity you have shown us today in our return to these lands is trully heartwarming.” That pit grew deeper. “We are even gladder still to be back here with our sister.” Her sister. No she couldn’t keep this up. “But every one of you who is an student of history has been told a lie!” Celestia’s ear rocketed up and she looked shocked. The crowd of party goers murmured beneath her
“Luna..?” She ignored her sister’s unfinished question.
“Our dear sister, nearly 1000 year ago today, told her only lie, intended to protect me. You have been informed the nature of our banishment is caused by some horrid monster who took control of us. But there is no horrid monster, besides the one who sits here before you now!”
They murmured louder. Dissent. Did she mean herself our her sister? Surely not herself right?
“Nightmare moon was the manifestation of our rage and our jealousy!” she stopped to rub an eye “The scourge you feared was none other then us!”
The noises grew louder but she wasn’t paying attention to what they said. Her mind had filled in the gaps already. They were learning the truth and would soon reject her outright. But not before she finished the story.
“We were so sick of being in the shadow of the sun that we put my good sister in an impossible situation. Choose her country or us. She choose all of you, the objectively correct choice, and had the grace to only imprission us.” Celestia looked horrified “Luna no..” she barely managed to get out. “Now you know the truth!” her words interupted her sister, loud and angry “Each an every one of you celebrates us as a hero which we never wer. We invite you now, spare us not your barbs, for all who have something to say should speak! We will deserve every word of it!”
The mic fell with a horrible noise and the crowd was silent. Luna collapsed partly to the ground. She did not cry, not quite. Tears fell down here cheek as she waited for the worst.
“uhh...do we like...have to say bad things?”
“W-we ask..you to be honest..spare not our feelings..” Luna choked out
“ok it’s just like wow. that’s like, super tragic. Like i feel really bad for you? I can relate to you both like...so much.”
“I concur!” another voice shot up “What pain our great princesses went through. We’re sorry you went through such strife. Truly that must have been hard.”
Luna was absolutely flabbergasted. She dragged herself up partly “We beg that you only speak truth! Spare not our feelings!”
“We are speaking the truth!” someone else added angrily. “We still like you! You’re still our princess!” The room filled with general agreement. Celestia finally spoke up. “You want the truth sister? I think I speak for all when I say that while what you did was bad, I am no saint either. These people are willing to forgive but not forget the tragedy of these two sisters.” And again the room filled with agreement, various people called out “Ay!” heads were nodded. Encouraging words said. Luna looked onward stunned. She must have looked like a dog caught in the rain. “All of you..trully welcome me..even knowing now the truth?”
“Some of us accept you even more!” A few laughs and a few cheers.
“Come now sister. You’ve punished yourself enough.” Tia wrapped her best friend up in a tight hug again. The party goers errupted into cheers whilst tears errupted from Luna. She sat their dranking in the noise and the warm embrace. She had never felt closer to her sun in a long time.
The party eventually dispersed. Luna and Her sister traveled home in high spirits, gentle teasing and ribbing from each of them as they made the scenic flight home. The pit and her stomach was gone and replaced with a bright spark.
As the two got tucked in for a night’s sleep, Luna had made up her mind on something else as well. This would be her last good night’s rest. The ponies of this land, her sister, all loved and supported her despite her past, maybe even because of it. She owed them so much for this second chance, and she would not squander it. In the morning, she would make sure she could never forget their love
And never forget what she did.
