" Welcome!, WELCOME! " Discord exclaimed, throwing out his arms in expression.
He had conjured himself a full magicians suit while the puff of colored smoke he manifested a few seconds earlier was fading.

" Discord's Land of Chaos awaits! " He pointed his staff to the path into this amusement park, which had segments of inverted gravity (with the corresponding path) and many parts where ponies that were walking straight returned to the point where they started.

" Well start with the maze of no return. " He gestured to the more... confusing part of the entryway. And that was saying something.

" Discord. " Ponder said, almost with sarcasm in his voice.

Discord paused for a moment.
" Oh- Alright. "

" But it's so much more authentic my way! "
He snapped his fingers, and a red rope now blocked the entry to the... reality breaking parts.

A new age rating sign slide across the air making a ' nails on a chalkboard ' sound before slowly coming to a complete rest near the new ' attraction ' .

" Discord, If you don't mind me asking, could some pony actually get lost forever in that maze? " Celestia raised a slight hoof to ask.
" No. Of course not. " Discord replied plainly and bluntly.
" PonderBright had given me the idea to just use names for ' Branding ' instead of actually being descriptive or literal. " He raised a finger to his chin in consideration.
" Which, in hindsight, is a lot more chaotic! "
He chuckled a bit.

PinkiePie's eyes had already grown big from the moment they had approached the entrance. Her holding her excitement this long was certainly not a given.
" WOW! I can't believe I'm finally here! ", " With the stuff with me and Maud, " Pinkie's head swished as if she was a clock and her words were seconds passing. " Flurryheart, Starlight and- " She had inadvertently look over to Ponder.
She stopped talking for a moment to gather herself.
" And wow! I've been busy. " She wiped non-existent sweat from her forehead.

" But now I'm here! " She reached out to hug Ponder.
" A - H - ! " Ponder jerked back.

" Oh. Right. Sorry. " Pinkie demeanor got just a little bit more somber.
" Don't... " Ponder was struggling to find a tone Twilight would call ' passable '
" Touch me. " He said with minor annoyance.

" Right. " Pinkie was back to her usual self.

' She's... fast. Really fast. ' Ponder was thinking to himself, as he stared at Pinkie, making every pony in the room but him and Pinkie herself slightly uncomfortable.

" Well then. " Celestia was quick to shift the focus.
" Discord, do you have the spell we talked about prepared? "

" Certainly. "
Discord snapped.

And with that, Celestia was gone, replaced with a -quite short- earth pony with a single basic, earthy color for a coat and only a few mundane colors for a even more average manecut.

" C- Celestia? " Ponder had chirped out.
" Yes Ponder. You guessed correctly. " The new pony responded, revealing herself.
Her voice had not changed much.

At least by comparison.

" Wow! " Pinkie jumped back in excitement.
Celestia manged to get in words in between one of Pinkie's escapades; no easy feat.
" I'm afraid I'll need to be - discreet when I'm not here on official business. "
" And, when I am in this form, you shall refer to me as Tiara Titanium. "

" He even changed your cutie mark! " Pinkie pointed out, pointing a hoof at her new cutie mark; smiley faces around a exaggerated crown symbol.

" Indeed. " Celestia agreed with a simple nod. Pinkie had stopped for a moment to agree with her by ' wagging ' her head, when Celestia manged to get in even more words :
" And I humbly ask to keep what Tiara Titanium does, "
She raised a hoof to herself.
" and what Celestia does, "
She looked back to Canterlot.
" separate. "

" Ok - Dokie - Loki - " Pinkie was getting restless.
" Oh. Yeah. Sure. " Ponder was taken aback. He had never seen her like this. In a casual setting.

Then again.
He didn't really know her IN a casual setting. Or at all. He had just assumed that ' Princess ' behavior was her default.
And maybe it still was.
Why did she differentiate what was an order and what wasn't?

He looked up from the path he was staring at to see her staring back.
They met eyes for a moment, long enough for both ponies to realize they were both purposefully looking at each other, when Titanium grew a slight smile and looked away, head held high.

Did -
Did she plan this?
All of this?
Even this reaction?

He was just staring at her, awestruck.
' Why else would she purposely look back away from the amusement park she was wanting to go to, and look and me specifically, in this exact moment? '
He could think of no other reason.

And, as such that IS how his mind worked, it must be so.

In reality, Celestia looked back more so to check his response, not to convince him she was physic. She didn't really have an idea of what to expect from Ponder. Perhaps it was a intellectual blunder on her part. No matter.
An opportunity presented itself, and she took it.

Ponder was none the wiser.

As they were walking, Discord seemed a bit spent. Mentally spent, he was physically fine.
" Apologies. That kind of magic seemed to be a bit more taxing then anticipated. " He said, still breaming with joy and confidence
He shrugged.
" Even with a willing target. " He looked over to Celestia.
" And a magically adept one as well. " It was weird hearing such a real tone come from such a non-regal pony.

Titanium gave a certain look to Discord, but Ponder was too autistic and Pinkie was too distracted to notice.

" Oh I'd say you and me both are more then just little old ' Adepts ' " He air-quoted his fingers.
" Were something special. Something else entirely, you and I. " Discord attempted stated the obvious.

" Can I go on that one? " Pinkie was having a hard time keeping her voice down when asking Discord.
" Hm. " Discord tried to explain :
" You know. Maybe - "
" The one where you repeatedly - AND HARMLESSLY - Might I add - get turned inside out - "
" Might not be the best idea for Ponder. "

Pinkie was minorly upset.
" Wha- But you didn't even ask - "
She was interrupted by Discord using a finger to rotate her head to Ponder, who was looking nauseated just thinking about it.
" Oh. " Pinkie stated in realization.
" Wait - But that means - ! " She had come to a realization.

" That's right. " Discord had congratulated her.
" Were thinking of having the groups this way to start - You and Ponder and Me and C- Titanium. "
Celestia chimed in - " And switch later in the day, at 3 past noon. "
She had failed to hold in a chuckle. The excitement was getting to her, too.

Ponder had thought Pinkie would be bummed out by the news, he didn't expect her to make some nonsense up to get him in trouble, but something slightly less.

" Ok - Dokie - Loki - "

Huh. Another surprise. Or perhaps she was just good at hiding it. She did, supposedly, throw parties for a living.
He had taken care this time to hide his expression, his emotions, and especially what he was thinking.

And still

Celestia, or Titanium, rather, was still looking to him.
Pity?
A look a pity?

He DID recognize some social cues. Especially the ones that came with negativity. Or really, anything negative.

He looked back up at her in confusion, and a bit of submissiveness. A bit more of asking permission to be confused at her then submissiveness, if he had to give the face he was making a name.

Celestia returned a soft, gentle gaze starting with her eyes half closed, with them almost closing completely during a short head bow, and opening to a very certain, but still soft, stare.

While Ponder was left contemplating how this was even possible for some pony to just do that in only ~ 0.45 seconds in a entirely new body, Celestia, likewise, was beating herself up for not noticing his uneasiness sooner and continuing to actively observe him, making him more uncomfortable then he had to be and by extension making herself more uncomfortable then she had to be.

' Did - did we just non-verbally communicate? ' Ponder had to ask himself, as they left his view. ( Which wasn't a great distance, the chaos, and all that )
' And - We did do that - Right? ' He continued to think.
Those nerdiest-of-nerd thoughts would distract him until they got to the first ride Pinkie thought they both would enjoy.

' No, NO! ' Celestia was ruminating to herself.
' You should be better than this! ' She continued.
' No- Calm down. ', ' Deep - mental - breaths.'
' While I can let loose a bit in this new form It's no excuse to completely let my guard down. I am a queen, after all. '
She returned to normal, and after the short zone out for a mental breather, started to have fun.

PonderBright however, was incapable of, and did no, such thing.

' Is she going to blast me ? ' He thought.
' Blast me with that fancy magic of hers for stepping out of line? '
' Is this all some game leading up to me being turned into radioactive vapor? '
' No. '
' Even I know that's beyond what this situation calls for. '

' But maybe lock me up? ', ' A sort of twisted vengeance against my earlier mistakes? '
' A twisted since of justice? '
He stopped thinking at that last part.

He just enjoyed the rides.
As best as he could.

Pinkie was having a blast. All the things she never thought possible were here, ready to be experienced.
Non-euclidean mazes.
Bottomless pits.
A space where your vision detaches from your body and bounces around the room a bit.
Spaces where you turn into Sea monsters, Dragons (Ponder refused to go in that one), and Para-sprites.

It was very euphoric.
She looked to ponder when on a underwater roller coaster, and saw him not having a good time.
Or maybe this was all very distracting.

The words she wanted to speak didn't come out well through her new gills. She would have to wait until the end of the ride.

After a message from a weird black box with a circular indent (Discord's voice) : " I hope you enjoyed the ride! And didn't breath in air through your gills as you were exiting. Or, if you did, HAVE A NICE TRIP! "
She then looked to Ponder.

His smile had not gotten past ' beginning to enjoy himself ' the entire time she's seen him. Not good.
This was an amusement park.
He SHOULD be having fun.
And he SHOULD know by now that Celestia doesn't blame him THAT MUCH for what he's done, right?

" Ponder, whats up? " A badly worded question from Pinkie.
" Wh- What? " An honest and clear question from Ponder.

Pinkie stared at him for a moment.
" Your not having fun! "
" I should know. I'm an expert in smiles! " She smiled back, getting a little too close and causing him to lean back.

" Well. " Ponder looked up, then back to Pinkie.
" Pardon me if I think this is just a ruse for punishment. Or spying. Or a long, drawn out roundabout way to put me in my place. " He sneered at that last one.

" Wha- For who? " Pinkie had to ask, front hoofs thrown outward in response
" Me. " He said with sorrow.

" Thanks for inviting me Pinkie. But I don't think I'll stay much longer. "
" Well, That's going to be a bit hard. " Pinkie reposed.

" Wa- " Pinkie interrupted ponder before he had time to form a single word:
" Celestia is the one that invited you. "

Ponder got a look of confusion.
Then determination.
" Then that only further proves my point. We don't know each other. There is no other possibility! "
He pointed a hoof at her while saying.

" Woah! Calm down man. " Pinkie put on a fake smile, but a one so good it managed to fool Ponder.
" An invitation to an amusement park is never a bad thing! " She closed her eyes in glee.

" Is it? " Ponder was taking a more and more hearse tone by the second.
" 1 - She could not be taking this seriously. ",
" 2 - She could be stringing me along - and when I let my guard down spring a question on me that I answer poorly. ",
" And 3 - She could be taking this new disguise because she wants my assassination off the record. "

Pinkie immediately cut in.
" assa- WHAT?! "
" Did Celestia try to cook you up in a stew the first time you met?! " She was having a hard time keeping her happy demeanor. And that was saying something.

" She's authority. A member of authority. The HIGHEST authority. Me and authority- " His tone then took of maximum bitterness :
" Don't Mix. "

Pinkie looked back to him, a bit confused and bit understanding.
" But - Twilight - "

" TWILIGHT IS DIFFERENT " He almost shouted, the bitterness now all but gone.

" Twilight is understanding, effective, and most of all : ", " Nice. "
He had taken a pause to ensure proper wording and tone for the last one, and Pinkie took notice.

" Well, on the other hoof, It's not all bad. " Pinkie rebuked.
" Wha- What? " Ponder had to ask for clarification.

" Your situation isn't all bad. " Pinkie stated.
" It wouldn't kill you to lighten up - just a bit. " She pinched her hoof at that.
Ponder raised an eyebrow.

" For example - You started out the best out of all the reformed villains! "
Ponder's skepticism turned into more confusion. Most he's been in awhile.
" For example- " Pinkie took an authoritative tone.

" How many threats to Equestria never meant any harm, OR already knew the values of friendship, but rejected them anyway, and still managed to be a good pony? "
Pinkie leapt towards Ponder and pointed a very enthusiastic hoof towards him.
" One! "

" And that's it! "
" It's just you! "

She looked upward from the spot she had let herself fall to the floor and smiled, awaiting one from him.
It did not come.

A scowl, instead.
Oops.

" Pinkie- "
He looked away.
" I think I should be holding myself to a much higher standard then just ' not being a horrible piece of shit '. "

Pinkie was thinking about saying something along the lines of ' You can't do everything ' Or ' Your not a god, don't set your expectations so high ' Or perhaps
' Be a bit more generous to yourself. '

But that was more Rarity's thing.
She restrained herself from speaking.

" Well; now I know why Twilight has her lesson plan. " Pinkie said in understanding, finally calming down a bit.
" Really? ", " So, what's next? " Ponder thought he had to ask.
" Rarity. "

" Ah. "
" The fashionista. " Ponder said in bored monotone.

Pinkie was the one to raise an eyebrow this time.

" Do you happen to know how something as shallow as looks or trends can fix this? " He pointed to himself.
" Because my vast mind has suddenly run dry. " He said with little emotion.

Pinkie let the 2nd comment go.
She focused on the first.
" She's not shallow, silly! "
" She very generous! "

" I'd like to see that. " Ponder said in disbelief.

" Ponder! " Pinkie said with very mild anger.

" What? ", " I said I'll give it chance, though I don't believe you in the slightest. " He muttered that last part.
" Oh! " Pinkie replied. " Well why didn't you say so! "
" I did. " Ponder plainly stated, not getting where pinkie was going from.

" ' I'd like to see that ' Is what I said. I WOULD like to see that. " He further clarified.
" The tone I used clarified that I didn't believe it was true. "

" Oh! " Pinkie said.
" Well why didn't you say so? " She grew a large, knowing grin.

" I did. " Ponder was starting to get annoyed
" I said all that the first time in plain English. "
He paused.
" Ponish. Plain Ponish. "

" Well I don't know what goes on where your from, but here that stuff is used for sarcasm. " She squinted at that last part, almost double- winking at him.

Ponder groaned, throwing his head to the sky, much to Pinkie's surprise.
She thought she had successfully done ' The funny '
But no.

Ponder more or less mentally wrote Pinkie off as a lost cause at that point, being as ineffective and ' not-smart ' as she was showing herself to be.
He half expected her to half-hear and misinterpret something he already said to her and tattle to Twilight or Celestia on him.
The thought chilled him and aggravated him tremendously.

" Stupid- Retar- Word games " Pinkie heard Ponder muttering under his breath; him looking down to the path they were walking with intense frustration.
Something in Pinkie clicked.

" OH! " She shouted.
Ponder was removed from his temporary trance, now looking at her with curiosity as to what the latest emotional outburst was for.

" You're like Maud! " She put on another wide smile.
" Maud? " He asked.
" Maud Pie! ", " I know a pony that acts - kinda - similar to what you do! " She nodded, still reared up on hind legs in excitement that she found a solution.

' Huh. Second time I've heard that name. ' He thought to himself.

Pinkie finally returned to normalcy - or at least her version of it.
With her finally walking correctly again, the conversation could continue smoothly.

" Man, It took me awhile to realize you too were alike! "
" You do a real good job of hiding it! "
Pinkie then realized :
" Even if it is to your detriment. " She said in a apologetic tone.

" Great. " Ponder had responded. Crass, hearse, and angry.
" Even when I'm good at social stuff I still somehow suck at it. "

Even after a short pause, Pinkie was too off put to respond.
" Fuck my life. " He said in complete and monotone earnest as he focused on the path ahead.

" Well, Uh - It's not all bad. " Pinkie was staring to let the negativity get to her. And that - was saying something.
Was it the frequency? Emotional impact? She thought to herself.
No.
It was because she didn't have an answer. He was right.
No rebuttable came to mind.
Not even a little one.

She felt she had to deflect.
" You still spread joy to all these people; " She made a hoof motion to the surrounding park goers " - by helping Discord! "
" And the Discord summoning necklace - " Pinkie was now jumping in and out of Ponder's view, seemingly by magic.
" And the armbands for the royal guards! "
She was done showing off his ideas. Finally.
His head could take little more turning and his eyes could take no more re-focusing on whatever trinket he helped to design.

He sighed.
" Yeah. ", " Your right. "
" Really? " She was about to smile; and he already had a response ready :
" Yeah. Your logic is sound I can't think of a good counterargument "

" WA- HOOO! " She shouted, embracing Ponder with the most friendly of hugs.
Ponder shoved her off.
" WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT NOT DOING THAT? " He almost screamed.
' Crap. ' He thought to himself.
' Now she's going to hate me too. ' He was expecting.
' So much for this ' communicating ' thing. '

Pinkie did look a little disturbed, yes.
But that was it. No further consequence.
" Oh. Sorry. "
" I can, uh. "
" Be a bit scatterbrained is all. " Pinkie rubbed the back of her head.

He raised an eyebrow at that ' unusually friendly ' response, which only served to make her slightly more uncomfortable.
And at that point, he just stopped interacting.

Ponder considered the phrase: ' Couldn't agree more. ' But decided against. He was past lashing out in defense.
He didn't want to completely admit it, but Twilight's lesson were working.
Slowly.
VERY slowly.

Pinkie was about to tell him something.
" You know - " She stopped herself.

" NO! " She stood up on her hind legs and waved her front hoofs in a ' stop ' pattern.

" Save it for Rarity! " She told herself, in a way that Ponder would understand he was not yet a part of that conversation.

Ponder chuckled.
" And people had the gall to call you stupid! "He said as a compliment, squinting his eyes at her and slightly raising one eyebrow to really drive the point home.
" Or - At least the alternate version of you from another world. " He added in complete monotone, with a much more relaxed stance.

" Ha Ha! " Pinkie had apparently found that funny.
" You belong on a stage! " She added.

" No - WE belong on a stage! " She revised her previous statement.
" Oh. I get it now. " Ponder had not entirely understood her earlier remark : Now he did.
Was she getting easier to understand by the second or was it just him?

They both agreed to walk towards a more surreal attraction rather then a thriller ride.
Ponder thought he would start a conversation this time around.
" You know, I do have some advanced otherworldly knowledge related to your field that's safe to share, If you'll have it. "
" W O U L D I ! " Pinkie almost shouted, but kept her voice calmer and used more spaced out words and sounds to make her point. She was in agreement. VERY in agreement.

" Well first there's this guy call weird al - "

And so it went.
For hours.

Author's Note

I am open to PM. No discord or email. Do not use email. Please.
I am open to work, even collaborations. I can't draw. Muscle condition.

I find it very funny that the first written record of how to wage war references the magic of friendship. (In Sun Tzu's own demented way)

Want to test my writing with this one. Will try to write more and more challenging subjects as time goes on.
All criticism minus something that can only be seen as a nitpick will be appreciated.

Ever wondered why Celestia and Twilight always treated friendship in the show as fragile and a thing to be cherished while it lasts?
This is why.