They're Not Bugs, They're Features

Terga groans as her eyes slowly crack open. Her room is pitch black, and if it weren’t for the fact that changelings can see better in the dark than most creatures, she’d likely be close to blind. She threw blackout curtains over her window for that very reason, but even if she hadn’t, the cloudy sky outside means that even moonlight would fail to filter into her room tonight. With a slight shuffle, she turns to look at her bedside clock.

12:42 A.M.

“Great,” she mutters as she sits upright. “Can’t wait to be tired in the morning.”

She stretches her sore muscles before clicking her dry tongue against the roof of her mouth. Between her mother’s training, many long hours at school, countless homework problems, and her own training taking up all of her energy on a day-to-day basis, she basically always passes out the moment her head hits her pillow and doesn’t wake up again until her morning alarm drags her out of bed kicking and screaming. If she woke up in the middle of the night like this, it’s due to one thing and one thing alone.

She’s really, really thirsty.

With heavy, lethargic steps, Terga slowly begins to make her way across her bedroom. She tries to remain as quiet as she can while she carefully opens her door, but she can’t prevent a thud from ringing out through the hall when it closes behind her. She knows that Gena is a light sleeper, and while she isn’t up to anything bad, she’d rather avoid a confrontation with her older sister. She remains completely still for some time, eventually taking the silence as confirmation that she was successful.

Getting downstairs is a simple process compared to escaping her bedroom, especially as her ability to fly has been slowly improving. It’s barely a struggle to make it down the stairs without her hooves ever touching the ground, and she can’t help but beam with pride when she makes it to the bottom. Feeling confident, she turns the corner without a care in the world.

Only to be greeted by a light source and a conscious family member.

“Ah!”

She jumps a bit, having not expected to see anyone awake at this hour. Her yelp causes the figure, whose large form is unmistakably that of her father, to turn around from the dining room table with just as much surprise as her.

“Terga? What are you doing up so late?” He turns in his seat to face her properly, the concern never leaving his face. “Oh, did I wake you up? I’m sorry about that.”

“N-no, you’re fine.” They both speak in hushed whispers, not wanting to wake up the rest of their family. “I was just coming down here to get a glass of water.”

“Ah, I see. Well, don’t let me stop you.”

Heeding his words, Terga makes her way into the kitchen and quietly grabs a glass. As she turns on the faucet, she can’t help but look back at the kitchen table. Anon sits with his head rested against one hand. His expression is the embodiment of melancholy. He appears deep in thought as he stares longingly at a collection of papers illuminated only by the warm light of a nearby desk lamp.

“Dad?”

“Hm?”

“What are you doing down here so late?”

“I had a… vivid dream, so I’m just reminiscing a little bit.” His voice is wistful and distant, but not necessarily unhappy. For a moment, he remains focused on whatever it is that he’s looking at, but he eventually turns to face his youngest daughter with a small smile on his face. “Want to take a look?”

“Uhh, sure?”

Tilting her head in confusion, Terga quietly crosses the room, glass of water in hoof, and takes a seat next to her father. Her confusion only grows as she looks down at the papers on the table, all of which are covered in what appear to be a disorganized collection of random thoughts.

About 5’10”. Brunette with pale skin. Green eyes.

Liked her burgers without tomatoes.

Taught me to play piano when I was six.

“What is all of this?”

“These are memories, Terga. Memories I’m afraid of forgetting.”

“I don’t get it.”

“Haha, yeah, I guess it looks insane without an explanation. Here.” Anon chuckles as he separates the pages into three distinct groups, though the groups themselves don’t seem much different from one another. “These are my memories of my mom. These are of my dad, and these are of my sister.”

“W-wait, this stuff is about your old family?”

“You say that like they’re not your family, too. From your perspective, these are your grandparents and your aunt.”

“Huh.” Terga pauses for a moment. Her father rarely talks about his life before ending up in Equestria. Being a changeling that is the daughter of one of the most feared tyrants of all time, it’s easy to forget sometimes that her other parent is technically an alien. Whenever someone brings it up, he usually just laughs it off and changes the subject. Though, now that she thinks about it, her blood is just as much that of a human as it is that of a changeling. Well, maybe. Her biology grade isn’t the best. “What were they like?”

“Well, your grandmother was really strict. She always wanted me to stand out from the crowd. She demanded that I get the best grades, insisted that I did well in sports, made me learn things I really had no interest in. I felt stifled by her a lot, to be honest.”

“That… doesn’t sound fun.”

“Looking back, I think it came from a place of love. She expected a lot out of me, but she never made me feel like I was unwanted. If I didn’t meet her expectations, she just dusted me off and told me to try again. I think she just wanted me to not regret my actions, to keep me from missing out on things I might enjoy. It wasn’t perfect, but… looking back, I appreciate a lot of the lessons she taught me.”

“She sounds a lot like Mom.”

“Haha, true! Though, I bet if they met, there’d be hell to pay. They would butt heads every time they spoke, and I’d probably get caught in the crossfire.” Terga snickers at the mental image of an old human woman trying to fight her mother, with poor Anon caught in-between them. “But you know what? There’s not a doubt in my mind that she’d love you.”

“What makes you say that?”

“You’re doing exactly what she wanted me to do. You’re living by your principles, and you’re working every day to be the best changeling you can be. It’s inspiring, really.”

Terga turns away as a light blush spreads across her cheeks.

“I-I’m just doing what comes naturally.”

“You’re also cute as a button, so I’m sure she’d love all of you kids.”

“Dad!”

“Haha, I’m just teasing you!” Anon raises his hands innocently as Terga punches him in the arm. “But you know what? Your grandfather was the exact opposite.”

“How so?”

“He was just about the most laid back guy I’ve ever met. He wanted the best out of me, too, but he had the opposite approach of my mom. He was content to just sit back and let me figure things out myself. His thought process was that I’d naturally find the things I enjoy myself, and he trusted me to sort things out on my own terms. He’d be there to talk if I needed it, but he never gave me his opinion unsolicited. Well, unless I was about to do something really stupid.”

“You? Do something stupid? Never!” Terga laughs at her own sarcasm, and Anon smiles warmly at the sight. “Granddad sounds cool.”

“I wish I could introduce you to him. Knowing him, he’d spoil all of you kids rotten.”

“Think you can get him to Equestria in time for Hearth’s Warming?”

“Hah, only if I buy enough eggnog to feed a small village!”

The pair share a laugh before Terga looks back down at the papers about her grandfather.

“And he sounds a lot like you.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment. Especially when you kids were younger, I found myself thinking ‘what would Dad do?’ all the time. If I’m even a fraction of the man he is, I’ll consider that a win.”

“It sounds like you really love your parents.”

“I do. That’s part of why I try to keep you kids so close. I want you all to have the same privileges I did.”

“That’s sweet of you. Now, what’s the deal with your sister?”

“Ah, your human aunt. She was, er… complicated.”

Glancing down at the third pile of papers, Terga immediately notices that the thoughts organized on them are much more slapdash and haphazard.

Kept her hair long.

Don’t feed after midnight.

Liked all food unless I was the one making it.

“She and I didn’t get along very well,” Anon admits, his voice much quieter and more somber than before. “She was loud, she was opinionated, and she was… hard to deal with sometimes.”

“She sounds like Tarsus.”

“That’s… hm.” Anon bites his tongue. “I’d rather not compare the two.”

Terga tilts her head before giving her father an apologetic look.

“This sounds like a painful memory for you.”

“Sort of.” He sighs and looks back down at the papers before continuing. “I mean, yeah, we fought a lot. And when I ended up in Equestria out of the blue, we weren’t on very good terms. Hell, she wouldn’t even speak to me at the time. But… it’s not like I didn’t love her, too.”

“You miss her more than you thought you would.”

“I do. And…” Anon rests his head in his hand. There’s pain in his voice, but rather than a sudden pain that would cause tears to fall, it’s a resolute pain, a pain that he’s grown uncomfortably used to due to years of exposure. “I think my biggest regret was not telling her how much she meant to me before it was too late. From her perspective, the brother that she probably assumes hates her just up and disappeared without a trace one day. That will always be the impression she has of me.”

“...” Terga struggles to think of a response. It’s normal for Anon to comfort her or her siblings when they need help sorting themselves out, but it’s practically unheard of for him to open up about his own problems like this. He’s always worn his heart on his sleeve, but everyone recognizes that he finds discussing his own problems to be a burden on others. Now, as the two of them sit alone together at that dark kitchen table, he’s shown Terga a piece of his past that she never knew existed. But, if humans are anything like changelings, there’s an assumption he’s making that he himself contradicts. “Are you sure about that?”

“Hm?”

“You were on bad terms with her, but now you miss her. She wouldn’t speak to you, but now you want to speak with her. After all these years, are you sure she doesn’t feel the same?”

“I–”

“I bet she misses you, too. I bet she feels just as guilty about not having said something to you before you ‘disappeared.’”

“Terga…”

“If your family… our family, was as loving as you say, then why would you believe that any of them, my aunt included, wouldn’t miss you? They love you just as much as you love them.”

“...Hmph.” Anon exhales sharply through his nose as his typical warm smile returns to his face. “You’re right. Of course you’re right.” He turns to look at his daughter, his smile genuine and comforting. “Thank you, Terga.”

“I-I didn’t do anything,” she mutters as she turns away again. “A-and I think I’m gonna go back to bed now, I have to get up early.”

“Righty-o. I should probably get back to your mother soon, too. She gets cranky without her cuddles.”

“Wait, really?”

“Uhh, don’t tell anyone I said that.”

“Hah!”

Terga shushes herself after accidentally letting a loud laugh escape her and quickly makes her way to the nearby stairs. However, just before she can turn around the corner, she looks back at Anon as he cleans up the papers still spread across the table.

“Dad?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you. Just… thought you should hear it out loud.”

“...Hmhm. Love you too, Terga.”

With a nod and a smile, Terga unfurls her bug-like wings and ascends the staircase as quietly as she can before escaping into her room. Meanwhile, as Anon turns off the only remaining source of light in the house, he lets out a deep, contented sigh.

“Maybe I’m not doing so bad, after all.”