“A date night?”

“Why would the five of you take any interest in whether or not your father and I go on a date?”

The five children glance between one another, each hoping that one of their siblings will have an answer to that question. After a few awkward seconds, Seta clears her throat.

“Well, they say that couples need to go on regular dates as they grow older to maintain a close relationship. Otherwise, you risk growing apart!”

Anon and Chrysalis share a quick, unimpressed glance.

“Are you implying we don’t get along?”

“Or are you implying that we’re old?”

“Uhhh…” Seta’s eyes grow wide and unfocused. “No?”

The room falls silent yet again. Beads of sweat begin to form on Tarsus’s forehead. Gena awkwardly pokes at the floor beneath her. The only sound is the shaky breathing of Canthus.

“...You know, a date night might not be so bad.”

Chrysalis turns towards her husband, a bored, nonplussed expression on her face as she wordlessly blinks.

“You’re actually convinced?”

“I mean, why not? It’s been a while since we’ve gone out, just the two of us. It could be nice.”

“And leave five rowdy changeling children alone at our house?”

“Come on, they’re old enough now to take care of themselves.”

“I’m not concerned about their safety, I’m concerned about their penchant for getting into trouble.” She casts a half-lidded, extremely judgemental glance towards her brood. After a moment of hesitation, she sighs. “But I suppose they’ll need to learn independence at some point.”

A grin begins to spread across Seta’s face.

“Oh, you’ll be so cute together!”

A single look from her mother is all it takes for her to stop talking.

“Where to, then?”

“Hm. I’ve been meaning to try that new place down by the stream.”

“Oh, I’ve heard about that. Didn’t some kirin open that place?”

“I think so. Apparently, no one works a grill quite like a kirin.”

“Hmph. We’ll just have to see about that,” Chrysalis responds as she turns away from the living room with an exaggerated gait. “Come on, then. The night is young, but it is destined to die before its prime.”

“What, are we waxing poetic now?” Anon asks with a tilt of his head as he follows his wife out the door. He closes it behind himself, but it quickly swings back open as he turns to his children. “You all know the rules. Take care of yourselves, okay?”

“S-sure thing, Dad!”

With a satisfied nod, Anon closes the door once again. He lets out a contented sigh as he and Chrysalis begin to make their way down the well-trodden dirt path towards the center of town. The sun is half-set, and there’s a gentle breeze that offsets the heat and gives the late-afternoon air a pleasant, cozy feeling.

“They’re definitely hiding something,” Chrysalis chuckles.

“Oh yeah, no doubt about that.”

“Hmhm. Well, we’ll just see how they go about hiding it by the time we get home.”

Sharing a laugh, the two lovebirds don’t hesitate to close the gap between them. Hand in hoof, they set out on their first date night in a long, long time.

“We are so fucked,” Tarsus groans as his shaky legs give out from under him, causing him to fall to a seated position on the floor. “Mom is gonna kill us.”

“Yeah, if our mistakes don’t do it first.” Gena inhales slowly through her nose, bringing a hoof to her chest in the process. She exhales, stretching out her body as she does so. It’s a de-stress technique her father taught her some time ago. “We need to fix this.”

“How?” Terga, who appears uncharacteristically nervous, glances around the living room, her eyes unfocused and shaky. “Even if we could fix this, there’s no way we could get it done before Mom and Dad get back.”

“Let’s get help, then.” Gena responds with a matter-of-fact tone. “Friendship is magic, after all.”

“That has to be the most cliché thing you’ve ever said.”

“Tarsus, we go to a friendship school.”

“Don’t remind me.”

Once again, Seta clears her throat, catching everyone’s attention.

“Tarsus, I need you, Canthus, and Terga to try to fix this on your own.”

“What?! That’s not fair, what about you and Gena?”

“Gena and I are gonna see if we can get any help.”

Without a second thought, Seta walks past her siblings, scoops the comparably tiny Gena up under her arm, and waltzes out the front door.

“...I really hate her sometimes.”

“Oh, well.” Canthus shrugs as he walks out of the living room and into the kitchen. “I’ll grab a dustpan.”

“You’re actually going along with this?!”

“It’s that or be on the receiving end of Mom’s wrath.”

“...Damn it,” Tarsus mumbles. After taking a moment to fume, he lets out a deep sigh. “I’ll get the broom.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many salads on one menu.”

“I still don’t understand the appeal of salads.”

“You don’t understand the appeal of most foods.”

“Why should I? Everything tastes dull when compared to your love.”

“Aww, you’re sweet.”

A deep green blush spreads across Chrysalis’s cheeks as she glances away from Anon.

“I-I didn’t mean it like that and you know it.”

“Relax, I’m just teasing you.” Anon closes his eyes and grins while his wife buries her face in her menu. Luckily for her, her mere presence was enough to cause anyone within a two-table span of them to vacate the premises in a very fast, admittedly very rude manner. They could only laugh at the sight. “Woah. The ‘Cheesy Caesar?’”

“Again with the cheese?”

“N-no, I swear I wasn’t–!”

Anon trails off as he sees Chrysalis giving him a smug, amused grin. Slowly, his concern melts away as his eyes droop to half-lids. She gives him a wink, and he blows a raspberry in return.

Seta knocks on a small wooden door three times with just a bit too much force for it to seem casual. Instinctively, she glances at a second-story window just in time to see the curtains hanging therein shake a bit. A small smile creeps across her face. Caution is understandable for mares with this line of work.

After a few moments, the door swings open.

“Seta, Gena, what a nice surprise!”

Lyra Heartstrings quickly emerges from the doorway and wraps one arm around each girl, pulling them into a tight hug. Seta winces at first, but Gena happily returns the gesture.

“Let them go, Lyra.” Bon-Bon strolls up behind her wife, an amused grin on her face. “It’s nice to see you girls.”

“Hey, Auntie Lyra. Hi, Auntie Bonnie.”

“So, what’s wrong this time?” Bon-Bon chuckles as she leans against the door.

“Wh-who said anything is wrong?” Seta stutters as Lyra releases her grip on the pair.

“You two usually show up when you need something.” The grin doesn’t leave Bon-Bon, even as guilt spreads across the changeling children’s faces. “Oh, don’t be like that, I’m just teasing you. Seriously, what’s up?”

“Welllllllllllllll–”

“We messed up. Really, really bad.”

“So we sent Mom and Dad on a date night while we try to fix everything.”

“But there’s no way we’re gonna get done in time.”

“And since we’re here, only the boys and Terga are at home.”

“And Mom will definitely kill us if she finds out.”

Lyra and Bon-Bon share a glance before letting out a hearty laugh. A cool breeze washes over them as the sun finally finishes setting, bathing Ponyville in a crisp, comfortable darkness.

“Alright, alright, fine,” Lyra wheezes as she wipes a tear from her eye.

“On one condition,” Bon-Bon adds.

“You will NOT tell your parents we were involved. Even if you get in trouble.”

“Deal!” Seta shouts a bit louder than she had anticipated.

With a smirk, Lyra offers Seta her hoof, which she gingerly takes in her own. One firm, somewhat awkward hoofshake later, they both nod.

“Well, let’s go see what sort of catastrophe you kids caused this time.”

Anon and Chrysalis step out of the restaurant, each letting out a deep breath they hadn’t realized they’d been holding in. Neither exactly fit in when they go to establishments like restaurants, but they at least try to stay on their best behavior. Being able to unwind a bit and be themselves is always a relief.

Wordlessly, they make their way down Ponyville’s long, winding roads, letting the evening breeze wash over them. Chrysalis’s long, sickly green mane billows in the wind, catching Anon’s attention.

“Your mane is looking a lot healthier these days.”

“Is it?” She looks down at herself, grabbing a bit of her mane and analyzing it with her equally green eyes that seem to glow in the dark. “Hmm. Ah, I see.”

“What is it?”

“You’re feeling romantical tonight. You’ve been fattening me up and I haven’t even realized it. Got my mane sparkling against my will.”

“Huh! It’s been a hot minute since that happened. Maybe this date was a good idea.”

“...I will admit it’s been a pleasant evening.” She lets out a single, incredulous chuckle as she stops next to a conveniently placed park bench. After sharing a glance with Anon, the two take a seat. Anon leans over to rest his head on Chrysalis’s shoulder. She doesn’t reciprocate the gesture, but she also doesn’t object to it. “Perhaps we should make a habit out of this.”

“The only reason we ever stopped was because of the kids. I think they can take care of themselves, right?”

“To an extent. They can take care of their own safety, but I’m less confident in their ability to take care of… our… house.”

Chrysalis trails off as both she and Anon look across the grassy field before them. There, some two hundred feet away on another dirt path, is Lyra, sprinting in the direction of their house with what looks to be a shovel in her mouth.

“...Should we be concerned?”

“Probably,” she sighs.

“...Want to give them a bit more time to sort things out?”

“Eh, why not. It could end up being funny.”

“TARSUS, WHAT DID YOU DO?!”

“I DON’T KNOW!”

“HOW IS THERE MORE FIRE THAN BEFORE?!”

“I SAID I DON’T KNOW!”

“OH SWEET CELESTIA SAVE OUR MORTAL SOULS!”

“My mom would have hated you.”

“Hah! She can join the club.”

Anon is lying flat on the bench, his head resting in Chrysalis’s lap as she leans back. She gently strokes his hair with the back of her hoof as she looks out at nothing in particular, a content smile on her face.

“My dad, though? He’d have loved you.”

“What? What kind of a freak is he?”

“The kind of freak that would be proud to see his ‘boring’ son married to someone as cool as you. With kids, to boot.”

“Oh, so I’m ‘cool’ now?”

“I just think he’d appreciate your brand of charm.”

“Runs in the family, then.”

“Considering who Canthus is dating, yeah, I’d say so.”

“...I hate that you might be onto something there.”

“Does anyone have a bandage?”

“I’ve got one right here.”

“Good, now hold on. This is going to be a bumpy ride!”

Anon and Chrysalis stand before their home. They share a glance, then go back to looking at the house. At this point, it’s nearly midnight. The house is completely silent, and there doesn’t appear to be a single light on.

“Well, let’s get this over with.”

With a nod, Anon opens the door. The two gingerly step inside as they brace themselves for the worst. However, to their surprise, nothing seems out of order. In fact, it looks as though the house has been thoroughly cleaned. The floors are spick and span, the pillows on the couch are right where they need to be, and heck, there is a nice lemon-y aroma in the air.

And there isn’t a creature in sight, be they changeling or mare.

“Whatever they did, they cleaned up after themselves,” Chrysalis whispers.

“Isn’t that the best we could have hoped for?”

“It makes it a bit difficult to figure out what they did.”

“Eh, let them have their fun. I’m sure when they’re ready, they’ll tell us all about it.”

“Will they?”

“Gena will, at least.”

“That girl is more cunning than you give her credit for. If you’re not careful, she’s gonna take advantage of you.”

“I…”

Anon opens his mouth to continue, but thinks better of it.

“But… you have a point. Besides, I’d like to get to bed.” She looks back at Anon, a sultry expression on her face. “We still need to finish our date off with a ‘bang.’”

“Th-the kids are here,” Anon whispers back sheepishly.

“I’ll cast a silencing spell on the room. Now,” she starts as her horn begins to glow the same green color as her eyes. A moment later, Anon finds himself being magically lifted into the air. “Momma is gonna get what she wants.”

“H-how are you getting through my magic resistance?”

“Your love just makes me that strong, I suppose. Hmhmhm.”

Despite the low volume, a sinister cackle escapes Chrysalis’s mouth. Anon finds his face becoming flush as he is carried into the master bedroom, apparently having done a much better job on this little “date night” than he ever intended.

Oh yeah, they’re definitely doing this again.

Hiding in the basement of the quiet home are five young changelings and two grown mares. The seven of them remain huddled together in a corner, their eyes wide as they struggle to remain as quiet as they can. Two floors above them, Chrysalis’s silencing spell does little to stifle the sounds coming from her bedroom.

“Should we make a break for it?” Lyra whispers as quietly as possible.

“I think the children are in more danger than we are, Lyra.”

“If we aren’t at the table for breakfast, they’re going to be really suspicious,” Canthus adds beneath his breath.

“I think no matter what happens, we’re totally dead,” Terga responds, her voice devoid of hope.

“Hey, look on the bright side,” Seta says with a smile.

“Don’t say it!”

“At least it can’t get any worse!”

With perfect timing, a loud crash rings out through the house above them. Quickly following it is the sound of an explosion, then a loud whistle, then a dog bark, then an unknown squelching sound, then what could only be described as the sound of a car starting up despite cars not existing in Equestria.

Then, for a moment, there is silence.

“Anon?” Chrysalis’s distinct, commanding voice rings out around them.

“Yes, dear?”

“Fetch the bug spray.”

“...”

“Did I stutter?”

“N-no, honey.”

The children and their aunts share a look. One by one, they each close their eyes, lower their ears, and bow their heads.

They are so dead.

Author's Note

It's been a while since I've gotten the aunties involved.