Canon Ponies Meet Fanon Ponies

Canon Ponies Meet Fanon Ponies

Chapter 1: Rainbow Dash

The rushing air, the clouds, and that super-warm sunshine. That’s what Rainbow Dash loved about flying, and she could do it whenever she wanted to.

It was a calm and sunny day in Ponyville, with only a few stray clouds in the sky thanks to the amazingly fast work of Rainbow Dash and the other pegasi. This excluded Fluttershy, of course, and Rainbow Dash chuckled at her friend’s ironic fear of heights.

But that didn’t matter to Rainbow Dash at the moment. All she cared about was flying as fast and as clean as she could. She wasn’t going to pull off a sonic rainboom, because that would startle the shit out of everypony, but she definitely wanted to feel like the fastest pony ever. So she relaxed her muscles, streamlined her body, and made a beeline for a cloud not too far away.

In mere seconds she had rammed her way through it, the cloud breaking up into the water droplets it was made of. Rainbow Dash loved the cooling effect it gave her, and slowed down just a little tiny bit afterwards to enjoy it.

Dash began to hover, wondering what kind of supreme awesome amazing trick she could pull off without having everypony down below notice and freak out. She looked up, and saw the big orb in the sky that was Celestia’s sun.

That’s it! I’ll fly as close to the sun as I can go!

So she steeled herself for awesomeness, and rocketed upwards towards the sun. She didn’t stare at it (that would make her blind, duh), but her years of flying experience meant she knew how to keep going straight at her target.

Up and up she flew, gaining several feet (hooves?) every second. It started out a pretty easy trick, but the higher she went the more strained Dash became. The air was getting thinner and making it harder for her to pump her wings, and the atmosphere was getting a lot colder.

Darn, I thought getting closer to the sun would make me warmer!

But she kept pushing on; she was no wimp, and she was certain she could touch the sun if she tried. Rainbow Dash sped even faster upwards, at this point not even visible from the ground below if anypony were to look up. She started to feel light-headed, and considered throwing up. But Dash didn’t want to send a wad of puke rocketing towards the ground at high speed, so she held it in. After all, puking during a flight would ruin her reputation.

Rainbow Dash was beginning to wonder why she hadn’t reached the sun yet. It wasn’t THAT far away, so she should have gotten to it by now. Without opening her eyes, she’d never be able to tell how close she was. Dash wasn’t sure she could hold out much longer; she had to look, had to find out if this was even possible.

Rainbow Dash let her eyelids shoot open, intending to look for the briefest possible amount of time. What she saw was intense; the sun was huge before her, and it looked brighter than ever. It looked exactly like Celestia’s cutie mark made it out to be, and it was hypnotic. Dash closed her eyes quickly, and reached out to touch it, expecting to feel its scorching heat.

Instead, she felt a surface that was hard and mildly cool, yet furry.

What the hell? Why is the sun not, like, super-duper hot? And why is it fuzzy?

Rainbow Dash cocked her head away, and chanced a small peek to confirm whether she was touching the sun or not.

What she saw blew her mind; she was touching somepony’s hoof. And not just anypony’s hoof, but her own. There was another Rainbow Dash right in front of her! Both ponies looked at each other with blank faces of awe. It all became too much for Rainbow Dash, and she fainted, plummeting right out of the sky.

Rainbow Dash slowly blinked her eyes open, her head still groggy from the fall and her body still sore. But she was much more worried about what had woken her up in the first place: her own voice, being projected towards herself. And it definitely wasn’t her own mouth moving.

Dash sat up, and was met with a prideful grin. From herself. Apparently the second Rainbow Dash she had seen up in the sky was all too real, and right there with her.

“Oh hey, you’re awake! Good, I didn’t want to have to take you to that crappy hospital. I’ve been in there, and it’s just SO boring.”

This Rainbow Dash even spoke with the same little inflection on every word that one would expect of her, and she was just as showy. Rainbow Dash got to her feet, and narrowed her eyes at this obvious impostor.

“Who the hay are you, and why do you look and sound exactly like me?”

Rainbow Dash shoved a hoof towards her copy’s chest, expecting to intimidate her. No such reaction followed, as the new Dash proudly puffed herself up for an introduction.

“I’m Rainbow Dash, fastest pony in all of Equestria! The only pony able to make a sonic rainboom!”

“You can’t be Rainbow Dash, I’m Rainbow Dash! And only I can pull off a sonic rainboom!”

“Oh yeah? We’ll see about that!”

The second Dash took off up into the sky, with the first Dash in hot pursuit. Both ponies pulled around for a dive at the exact same height, and started barreling down at top speed. Sure enough, two sonic rainbooms happened at the same time, causing a huge ruckus in Ponyville that, just as Rainbow Dash predicted, scared the horseapples out of everypony.

Both Rainbow Dashes landed safely on a grassy hill near Ponyville, not wanting to be chastised for the trouble they both caused. They snickered to each other at what everypony’s faces must look like, and bumped their hooves together. The first Rainbow Dash spoke up.

“Okay, this might be weird, but you really are me. Or, I’m you, or something. Ya know, maybe we should think of a way to figure out which one of us is which.”

The second Dash nodded in agreement, adding,

“Good idea. I’ll be Rainbow Dash 1, and you can be Rainbow Dash 2.”

“What? No way am I gonna be called number 2!”

Rainbow Dash 1 snorted in frustration at such a thought, but calmed down and had a better idea.

“How about this? I’ll be Rainbow Dash, and you can be called RD. Sound good?”

RD smiled, saying,

“Hay, as long as ponies can tell us apart, I’m good.”

The two ponies shared another small laugh, but were soon confronted with a big problem. What would they tell everypony? That RD just appeared out of the sky, and happened to be exactly the same as Rainbow Dash? There was no way anypony would believe that, except maybe Pinkie Pie.

First, I need to find out who this pony really is.

“Alright, RD, you’re supposed to be me, but there’s just no way that’s true. I mean, I’m the only Rainbow Dash for Ponyville. Are you from somewhere else, or something?”

RD shook her head animatedly, replying,

“Nope, I’m from Ponyville too, and everything is in place like I remember it, except for one thing.”

RD pointed up towards the sky, where there wasn’t really much to see.

“The rainbow factory isn’t there.”

Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow in curiosity.

“Whaddya mean, rainbow factory?”

RD gave an incredulous look, and answered,

“You know, the rainbow factory? The place where foals are ground up and made into rainbows?”

Rainbow Dash’s face scrunched up in disgust.

“That’s sick, and it’s NOT how rainbows are made.”

“Uh, yeah it is. I’ve done it to Scootaloo before.”

Rainbow Dash almost lost her lunch, but then she let loose on RD.

“You KILLED Scootaloo? You’re a monster! How could you do that to an innocent little foal?”

Rainbow Dash was enraged and ready to start grinding up RD herself, but the latter calmly brushed it off.

“Whoa, you act like I did this yesterday or something. This happened a while ago. And besides, when I woke up the next day she was happily scooting around on her scooter anyway. It’s not like she’s dead.”

Rainbow Dash was dumbfounded; how could anypony kill another pony, and then wake up to see them alive and ignorant of what happened?

“Well, it’s obvious that you aren’t from the same Ponyville I am.”

“Yeah, this Ponyville is a bit different from mine. More boring and quiet.”

Now, Dash would not let that stand.

“What? No way. Me and my friends had to conquer Discord, the god of chaos.”

RD yawned.

“Yeah, I did that too. You know what else? I once saw Spike get all greedy again, so he grew huge and destroyed half of Equestria, ate all my friends, and then jizzed all over Canterlot. And that was still pretty boring.”

Rainbow Dash’s mouth hung open. She didn’t know what “jizzing” meant, but it still sounded like a pretty exciting day to her. RD grinned, knowing she had Rainbow Dash cornered.

“I’ve seen and done a lot more than that, little lady.”

Rainbow Dash begged to hear more of the exciting tales RD had to offer, of course.

“Well, there was this one time Fluttershy convinced me I was a baby, so I started shitting my diapers and eating baby food, it was pretty wild. Oh, and I also went to another world with these things called humans once, and one of them raised me as his daughter. It was great. Oh yeah, and I’ve had sex with pretty much everything that moves.”

Rainbow Dash gawked in confusion.

What the hay is “sex?”

“You don’t know what sex is? Are you kidding me?”

Realizing now that she had thought aloud, Rainbow Dash grinned a little and nodded her head sheepishly. RD’s face lit up at the opportunity.

“Come on, I’ll show ya! It’ll be awesome, you’ll get to lose your virginity to me!”

Both ponies shot up towards Rainbow Dash’s home in the clouds, and walked inside. It was just as plush and amazing as one would expect of Ponyville’s star athletes. Every decoration was molded carefully from the clouds, and the architecture was magnificent. RD led Rainbow Dash up to her room, roughly shut the door and tossed Dash onto the bed. RD began to separate Dash’s back legs apart, the latter giving resistance at first but then giving in out of sheer curiosity. But before anything untoward could happen, a look of confusion graced RD’s face.

“Uh, Dash, you don’t really have a, um…you know.”

Rainbow Dash was just as confused as RD, and shook her head.

“It’s well, you know, the part of a mare’s body where a baby is born.”

Rainbow Dash was a little grossed out, but still clueless. RD sighed in exasperation, and pointed out,

“Rainbow Dash, you ain’t got no snatch. No vagina. Nothing. Just a flat furry spot, like there was nothing there in the first place.”

Rainbow Dash cocked an eyebrow.

“Well, yeah, there’s nothing there. Nopony has anything there. And what the hay is a vagina?”

RD stood on her hind legs, and pointed a hoof towards her slit, which she happened to still have.

“This is a vagina. Back in the Ponyville I’m from, every mare has one. I can’t believe nopony has anything down there in this Ponyville. So lame…”

While RD complained about the lack of general genitalia, Rainbow Dash got up to inspect the slit RD had called a snatch. To her, it was a weird little opening that nopony would ever need, so why have one? RD caught Rainbow Dash looking intently at her most private area, and grinned a devilishly perverted grin.

“Well, you might not have a vagina or an asshole, but there is one thing we can do together that’s almost as good.”

Rainbow Dash looked up at RD’s face expecting some kind of explanation, but instead she had her mouth shoved right up into RD’s entrance. And then they totally had oral sex.

Rainbow Dash trotted out of her bathroom, making sure she had thoroughly washed her face of the loads of cum RD had sprayed on her muzzle. Dash still had no idea what was so appealing about sex; RD seemed to love it, but all Dash got out of it was some kind of weird tasting fluid that RD couldn’t seem to stop producing until the last few moments.

RD had decided not to clean herself up afterwards, instead laying on the bed with a look of contentment plastered on her face.

Was that weird? Nah, it wasn’t weird, she’s me. It’s just like clopping, but better.

RD smiled, and started to hum a happy little tune in celebration of her sexual conquest. Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash approached the bed and tapped a hoof on RD’s stomach roughly to get her attention. Her eyes snapped to focus, and she struck a sexy pose for her other self.

“What is it, lover?”

“Look, if that was sex then I don’t know why anypony would want to do it so much. Didn’t seem very fun to me.”

RD just scoffed in disappointment.

“You just don’t get it because you don’t have a cunt. How do you even go to the bathroom, anyway?”

Rainbow Dash just shook her head, continuing with what she was saying.

“Whatever, it doesn’t matter. I think it’s time we found out why you’re here, so we should probably head over to Twilight’s house. She’ll know something, I hope.”

RD agreed while rolling her eyes and the two ponies left Rainbow Dash’s house behind. They flew down towards Ponyville library, but RD’s flight became clumsy and she rammed into Rainbow Dash by accident, causing them to crash. When both ponies opened their eyes, Rainbow Dash was lying on top of RD. RD quickly stated,

“Oh shit, I’m stuck. Better drink my own piss.”

Rainbow Dash shot up off of her counterpart in fear.

“That’s disgusting! Why would you do that?”

RD got up and dusted herself off, responding,

“Well, there’s no need to now, so just forget it.”

Rainbow Dash stood still with a scrunched-up face for a few seconds, but eventually shrugged. If anypony could solve all of this and find out why a pony would want to drink urine, it was Twilight Sparkle. Rainbow Dash knocked harshly on the door, which was unlocked and easily opened. Both Dashes gasped at what they saw inside.

Two Twilight Sparkles!