Canon Ponies Meet Fanon Ponies

Canon Ponies Meet Fanon Ponies

Chapter 2: Twilight Sparkle

Something weird was definitely going on in the Ponyville library. Four ponies stood in the main room, although it was more like two pairs of the same ponies. Rainbow Dash just had sex with her counterpart not long ago, but she was still surprised to find two Twilight Sparkles waiting for her.

“Hey, Twilight? Why the hay are there two of you?”

“I could ask you the same thing, Rainbow Dash.”

The ponies began to inspect each other, trying to identify who was who and which ponies recognized each other. Eventually, the original Twilight and Rainbow Dash stood at one end of the room, and their doubles stood opposite them. Twilight decided to speak up.

“Well, with the help of Rainbow Dash, I think we’ve finally got each other separated out. Thanks for pointing out that, uh, thing…they have which we don’t have, Dash.”

Rainbow Dash blushed a little and shrugged it off, not really wanting to remember what she did to that very “thing” on the other Dash, colloquially named RD.

“So, the big thing for us to figure out is where you two came from, and how to get you back there. Dash, I need you to take RD and go out to find what things she finds here that are different from where she comes from. If you do that, I might be able to perform a teleportation spell that’ll get her and this other me back to where they came from. Find everything you can, and write it down on this list for me.”

Twilight levitated a blank roll of parchment and a quill to Dash, whom grabbed them in her muzzle and nodded. Both her and RD promptly saluted the Twilights, and flew out into the Ponyville sky.

Meanwhile, both purple unicorn ponies remained behind at the library. In fact, the other Twilight had only just appeared before Rainbow and RD burst in, and had simply walked down the stairs expecting to be in her own universe. Seeing another one of her was not something she could have predicted. Twilight decided to speak up, saying,

“Alright, first we need a way to tell who’s who, so I vote I get to be Twilight Sparkle, and you can be TS. We’ll use the same system as Dash and RD. Agreed?”

TS nodded, although she seemed a little annoyed that she couldn’t use her own name. She brushed it off fairly easily though, and asked,

“Well, it’s clear that if we want to figure this out we should find out the exact differences between each other while the Dashes find out the differences in our world. Do you know what this calls for?”

Twilight’s eyes lit up, and they exclaimed in unison,

“A list!”

Both ponies giggled at their love for lists, and Twilight levitated out some parchment and a quill from her desk drawers.

“Okay, so first things first, family. You have a brother named Shining Armor who married Princess Cadence, correct?”

TS nodded animatedly in approval, agreeing,

“Yeah, and it was one hell of a wedding. What with all the changelings and everything.”

The two shared a brief nostalgic moment, and then moved onto the rest of the list.

“Okay, we both have a mother and father that pushed us to try and get better at magic, right?”

TS nodded again.

“Alright, that’s it for family, so onto surrogate family. You have a dragon friend named Spike who you think of as a brother, right?”

TS thought about it for a few seconds.

“Well yes, all of that’s true, but there’s more to it than just that for me and the Spike from my Ponyville.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow, inquiring what she meant.

“Well, let’s see here. His age on any given day varies widely; most of the time, he’s a baby dragon, but sometimes I’ll wake up and he’ll be a grumpy teenager. A couple of times, I’ve seen him as a full grown adult dragon as well, but that normally doesn’t last very long.”

While TS described her Spike, Twilight was furiously scratching her quill against the paper, trying to get down every detail as TS continued.

“Most of the time, Spike is his normal cute little self, but sometimes he gets angsty and complains that I don’t treat him fairly. Whenever that happens, we end up cuddling together in his tiny bed and making up. It’s…pretty great.”

TS sighed in bliss, and Twilight tried to imagine an angsty teenage Spike.

Psh, like that could ever happen. The only time Spike is unhappy is when he’s hungry or bored, but he doesn’t get mad very much.

“Anyway, I think that’s about it. Hmmm…wait, I forgot to mention that he’s probably the biggest I’ve ever had.”

Twilight scrunched her face up; what the hay did that mean? She decided to find out, and asked exactly what TS was talking about.

“Oh, that’s right, you don’t have a vagina! Nopony has genitals in your Equestria; I guess that IS a pretty big difference. What I meant was that Spike has the biggest dick among all the colts and, uh, dragons I’ve had sex with.”

Twilight considered vomiting right there and then. Unlike Rainbow Dash, she already knew what sex was, and that creatures other than ponies did it in her world. But imagining herself getting penetrated by Spike was just too much, and she fulfilled her thoughts by rushing to the bathroom for a good puke. TS followed her there, but didn’t burst in on the gross moment, instead trying to justify her actions.

“Oh come on, Twi, it’s not so bad! I know it sounds pretty, um, wrong since he’s like your brother. But if he’s a teenager or a young adult when it happens, and he’s holding your body in his big scaly arms, you just feel so safe. Plus, he’s one of the gentlest lovers I’ve ever had, despite his size!”

TS giggled at her double entendre, but Twilight just continued to wretch into her toilet bowl. TS sighed and walked back downstairs, shouting,

“As soon as you get over this, we’ll continue this list, right? And if having sex with Spike makes you sick, then boy do you have a few things to hear.”

After essentially puking up the contents of her entire stomach, Twilight finally decided it was time to face her doppelganger once more. She opened the door to the bathroom, face still somewhat green from her experience by the toilet bowl. Carefully making the way down the stairs in her weakened state, Twilight made it to the kitchen without much incident. That was, until she looked to the table and caught TS masturbating on a chair. The most horrifying part: TS was staring intently at a photo of Spike while doing this.

“Oh my Celestia, just stop it!”

Twilight Sparkle charged forward, knocking TS off her chair. Twilight took the photo and tossed it into the wooden sink, and immediately began scrubbing its surface with a rough sponge the best she could. TS was not amused.

“Hey! You could’ve just told me to stop instead of tackling me in the middle of it!”

Twilight didn’t even respond, simply muttering “Never be clean…”

TS groaned, and walked up next to Twilight. Twilight cringed at their closeness; after all, TS was masturbating with those hooves just a few moments ago.

“Look, I’m sorry about, you know, doing what I was just doing. You were taking really long in the bathroom, and I got bored waiting for you. So I started to explore, see if our houses are exactly alike. And I spotted that picture of Spike, and, well…you know the rest.”

Twilight lowered her eyelids, and groaned in exasperation.

“I guess I can forgive you, but really? In my kitchen, to a photo of Spike as a hatchling? With your left front hoof?”

TS gave an emphatic shrug.

“What can I say? I prefer going lefty.”

Twilight just shook her head, and continued to scrub. Minutes passed, and eventually Twilight just tossed the photo into a waste bin.

It’s a good thing I keep duplicates of everything important.

During that time, TS had returned to the main room and started to complete the list of differences herself. She was pretty certain Twilight had done nothing sexual, so there was quite a bit to fill in. By the time Twilight walked in to continue their session, TS was just about finished compiling her list of sexual conquests.

“Alright Twi, since you’ve never had a sexual experience, I’ve taken the time to catalogue all of mine to emphasize how different our lives are. This should definitely help us pinpoint my world so I can get out of here.”

Twilight hesitated to look at the list now, but reluctantly took hold of it with her magic; she had no real choice. She was instantly horrified.

“At least 50 counts of sexual actions with Pinkie Pie…at least 200 counts of sexual action with Spike…400 with Princess Luna…650 with Princess Celestia…over 1,000 with Rainbow Dash, and an innumerable amount of sexual actions with random stallions that happened to appear in Ponyville? Why do you have so much sex, TS? This is really disgusting!”

TS appeared offended and prepared to defend herself, arguing,

“You act like I’m a slut or something. Remember, these are sexual actions I’m counting; they don’t always mean that I had sex with the pony mentioned. It just means I probably got close. And if you want to see disgusting, I could prepare a list for Rarity or Pinkie Pie. Boy, do those mares have a lot of sex!”

“TS, I don’t care whether you actually had sex or not! I’m a lot more worried about how dangerous all of this could be. Not only is there a huge chance of you getting a disease or getting pregnant, but it’s also a huge distraction from your studies! You’re a personal student of Princess Celestia, who you’ve probably banged more often than you’ve studied her years of ruling Equestria! I just can’t believe it for a moment, that she’d be ready to have sex with you so easily.”

“Actually, with her she’s normally the one to initiate sex. In fact, the only reason I’ve done it so much is because she taught me everything I know about it. She likes to call me her favorite student.”

TS winked and beamed in pride, but Twilight was unimpressed, and very much ready to get this other Twilight out of here. Groaning, Twilight just decided to get back to completing the list.

“Alright, now that we’ve covered the…unclean aspects of our differences, what else do you suppose there could be? Tell me, are you as big a worrywart as I am?”

TS snorted and rolled her eyes.

“Oh, of course. Every time I’m late on a friendship report, I still end up going a little nutty like last time. It’s a hard habit to break, though. It doesn’t help that every time it happens I get the urge to molest Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle.”

Twilight put a hoof over her mouth, but no vomit came. She no longer had anything left to cough up at this point. Instead, she grunted in frustration and complained,

“Really TS? Having sex with foals, and they weren’t even consenting to it? That’s awful, and I’m pretty sure it’s illegal too.”

“Not in my Equestria. Sure, molestation is illegal for the most part. But Celestia lets her favorites get away with it as much as they want. Plus, Celestia is probably a much bigger source of non-consensual sex than I am.”

Twilight just shook her head back and forth at TS’s poor defense.

“Anyway, you say you still freak out like I sometimes do. Is it as severe? And do you react in the same way I do?”

TS put a hoof to her chin, and replied,

“I think my reaction is probably more severe than yours, and it probably happens more often. When it does, I pretty much go batshit insane for a while, but in the end I’m always fine. If it gets particularly bad, I’ll sometimes torture or kill somepony, but no biggie.”

Twilight’s jaw nearly hit the floor.

“You…you’re…a murderer? You’ve tortured other ponies?”

“Yep, but I don’t do it all that much, and whenever it does happen whoever I hurt ends up alive and ignorant the next day. I have to admit, that’s the weirdest part about my world.”

Twilight had to use magic just to put her jawbone back in place without breaking it somehow. Ponies regenerated in TS’s Ponyville, and came back with selective amnesia? This was all too weird, too impossible. TS adorned a worried face; just because she was a brutal foal-murderer, didn’t mean she couldn’t care.

“Hey, are you okay? Need some wheat grass juice? I can probably get you some from the kitchen, if you want…”

Twilight blinked and violently shook her head, trying desperately to get rid of all the strange things going through it.

“No, I’ll be fine, I’m just having trouble imagining an Equestria where sex, violence, and all of this odd stuff is so common. I mean, it’s just too different! I know other universes exist, I just never thought there would be one quite like yours…”

TS put a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder, and gave her a small hug.

“Listen, I know it’s a lot to take in, but if it helps I sometimes wonder who’s running the show in my world. I mean, there is NO WAY Celestia and Luna run everything that way. I sometimes wonder if out there there’s another pony running the whole thing, taking out his anger and sexual fantasies on us. But I dunno, I’m not really sure that’s even possible.”

The two shared a brief chuckle, and Twilight decided to speak up.

“Yeah, that does sound a little unrealistic. What kind of pony would exist to do all of that, anyway? It’s just silly.”

“Indeed it is, dahling, indeed it is,” TS agreed in her best imitation of Rarity, to which Twilight perked up. So TS decided to keep going.

“Now, I absolutely must be off to attend to my boutique! Oh, I need to adorn everything with glitter and makeup, and I simply must speak in this fancy accent the entire time! And Celestia forbid I step into something less clean than my uber-glossed mane and tail! Oh look, it’s a squirrel. I better ask him to fuck me gently, lest I accidentally get a single fur out of place.”

By this time Twilight was clutching her sides in laughter, and had shed several tears uncontrollably. TS soon joined in, and they enjoyed a good few moments of friendly mirth together. Eventually, their laughter died down, and Twilight made a fitting proposal while sticking out her hoof.

“Friends, TS?”

TS gently took hold of the hoof, and shook it happily.

“Friends, dahling.”

The two snickered once more, briefly this time. After a few minutes of idle chat about the wildly funny exploits TS had experienced in her Equestria, Twilight finally remembered the list they had been ignoring.

“So I think we’ve got it about covered. Unless there’s anything else?”

“Well, there is one thing. Strangely, a lot of the times I try a new spell it backfires in the weirdest ways possible and I end up getting involved in all sorts of adventures. In fact, I think I may have more oddly unsuccessful spells than successful ones sometimes, even though I’m still the element of magic.”

Twilight wrote this down as the ink in her quill began to diminish. She got up from her sitting position next to TS, and gestured an invitation to the kitchen with her hoof. TS got up, and followed her to the table.

“So, I think we should be pretty much done soon, and…”

Twilight was abruptly cut off by a forcible kiss from TS, and was promptly surprised by how long the latter’s tongue felt in her mouth. TS broke the kiss, leaving both ponies panting from the awkward and heated moment.

“TS, what are you doing? You know this isn’t right.”

TS grinned a little, explaining,

“Oh come on, Twilight, you can’t tell me you wouldn’t do the same in my situation. You might not have any idea what sexual attraction is like, but I do, and the entire time I’ve been here I’ve been wondering what it’d be like to have sex with myself. And trust me, I will not be denied.”

A wide (and creepy) grin split TS’s face, and Twilight audibly gulped. TS’s horn flashed as she used a teleportation spell on them both, landing them on Twilight’s bed, with Twilight on top of TS in a very suggestive position.

“By now Twilight, I’m betting your scientific curiosity about sex has peaked, right?”

Twilight blushed heavily and hesitated to reply, but meekly said,

“Yes, I would like to know what it’s like, at least…”

“Good, Twilight. Now, let me show you some other uses for that horn of yours…”

The two unicorns lay in bed, sweaty from a sexual encounter of the “strikingly memorable” kind. All Twilight could think of was how unimpressed she was with the pleasure she received in comparison to TS, whose cum was literally all over the room from her orgasm. Meanwhile, TS couldn’t help but think of telling all her friends back home that she literally got bucked by herself. Chuckling to herself, she took a good look at her recent lover, and noticed something off about her horn.

“Twilight, I think you might have a little bit of, uh, stuff, on your horn, that is…”

Twilight lifted a hoof to her horn, feeling some squishy stuff on it. Bringing her hoof down to inspect it. It was brown.

Oh no.

OH SWEET CELESTIA, NO.

Twilight let out an ear-piercing shriek, followed by a mad dash to the bathroom, all while yelling,

“Oh this is so gross, there’s SHIT on my horn, oh Celestia, why, why, why? It’s just so…EWWWW!”

TS just rolled her eyes, expecting something like this, and called out,

“Twilight, you should have known what you were getting into when I asked for anal!”

Shaking her head and lightly brushing some cum off her fur before it dried completely, TS stood up and added one final item to the list of differences they had compiled, laughing a little as she did so. Once she finished, she moved to the balcony and looked to the sky.

I wonder how much progress our Rainbow Dashes have made?

Meanwhile, both rainbow pegasi were scouring the sky, mapping out the subtle differences in Equestria that RD could find. As they flew back from Manehattan to begin mapping out the west, Rainbow Dash looked down at her good old Ponyville. Everything seemed in order, outside of Twilight yelling something about her horn. The only thing out of place was Sugarcube Corner, which seemed to literally be bouncing with energy. Normally, Pinkie Pie did give an extra kick to the shop. But it seemed almost like Pinkie was giving, say, the double the effort she normally did.

Rainbow Dash blinked a few times, and shook off a ridiculous notion in her mind. After all, there was no way it could be true.

Right?