Ponies, cannons, and war

I opened the door and greeted the black eyed grey skinned alien. I welcomed him in and we sat down for tea at the living room table. His flying saucer had crashed into my roof.

“This is very strange.” A voice said and I turned around to see Luna, standing behind me, looking around the house before focusing on me. “Even for dreams.”

I stared at her for a moment. “Princess Luna?”

“I thought we could continue to discuss war plans while you slept although I will admit to being curious, of what a human might dream of. If your dream even differed from normal ponies.” Luna flicked her ears.

…what?

“I’m dreaming?” I asked turning back to take a look for myself and OH MY GOD! I leapt away from the table in fright at the horrifically realistic sight of the alien.

“Jesus, Allah, Buddha! Why is that thing so realistically ugly!?” I cried out and to my shock the alien responded with a series of angry sounding gibberish.

“Apologies, it is my presence that enhances the dream imagery.” Luna explained as the alien stood up, walked to the door and slammed it shut on the way out. A second later we could hear weird beeping noises as the saucer flew down to our level outside a window and the alien flipped me off from inside his ship, behind the glass dome, before flying away.

…

That was weird.

“So…why am I not human here?” I asked, still stunned by the event.

“Usually, the mind takes the form of the body. If you focus, you might be able to change back in your dream.” Luna spoke, seemingly amused by the exchange.

I thought about it before making a face.

“Bleh. As much as I miss being human, I don’t miss my original form.” I stated, to Luna’s surprise before music started playing to my surprise.

When we're human again

Only human again

“What’s going on?” I asked as we watched animated household objects singing, a scene I recognized from Disney’s animated version of Beauty and the Beast.

“I normally establish control in a pony’s nightmares to ensure no harm befalls them, however since this is a normal dream I see no reason to needlessly do so unless necessary. Right now you are in control regardless if you realize it or not.” Luna explained as we saw a tender moment between Belle and the Beast, the moment within the song where Belle helps the Beast read Romeo and Juliet.

Aw, that’s a nice scene, a moment where the two bond over a common interest. We decided to remain silent as the rest of the musical played out before us. Afterwards Luna turned towards me.

“As interesting as that was, it is still imperative that we plan for the Morgana and the sirens.” Luna stated in all seriousness.

“I know, it’s just that I don’t know what the Morgana or the sirens want and they aren’t from this world. The best way to fight them off, I think, is to modernize the Equestrian navy, maybe even using the Wisdom Cubes to do so. I can’t just keep fighting them off forever, especially if they decide to send out larger fleets centered around either super-dreadnought battleships or fast battleships and aircraft carriers. I’m not Goeben.” I pointed out.

“While it is a shame that we lack understanding of our enemies' motivations, that does not mean we will just lie down and suffer the injustice of having our little ponies harmed. We will modernize the Equestrian navy to aid you in the upcoming battles ahead, but what form this new navy will take is a mystery that will take months, if not years to resolve. As of now, we do not understand these Wisdom Cubes and the potential danger in their use is far too great to risk. Nevertheless, know that you have our support.” Luna tried to assuage me while I thought about the points she made, specifically the form the Equestria navy would take. If only I could show them my world’s history of ironclad development.

…wait a minute.

If I can control the dream and if Luna is enhancing the imagery, then couldn’t I just show her that?

“I think I have an idea.” I said as a flatscreen TV appeared at the end of the facsimile of my living room, missing the labyrinth of junk that had accumulated over the years.

I walked over to the couch and picked up the remote, turning on the TV in the process.

“A movie screen? Interesting that you haven’t also summoned a movie projector.” Luna commented, also taking a seat on the couch.

“Huh? Movie projector? Humanity has, mostly, outgrown the need for movie projectors.” I said while selecting a certain red and white application before typing out the phrase ‘ironclad development’.

No country of Equis had ever explored The Unknown. Not the griffons and certainly not the ponies, both of whom laid directly south of the massive body of water. Any who tried would have to contend with fields of icebergs larger than the skyscrapers that dotted Manehattan’s skyline, bone chilling rains, and howling winds that would tear sails, rip wood asunder and toss pegasi, griffons and dragons alike indistinguishable from rag dolls.

And yet, within the eye of a storm far greater than the likes created by the wendigos sat a concrete harbor entrance attached to a pitch black building covered in glowing red lines. Despite the freezing cold temperatures of the surrounding strom, a figure remained vigilant in an environment any other creature without aid would freeze in. Its eyes kept watch over the harbor entrance.

It was thoughtful. Since its creation in this world it tallied two losses to one victory. The cruiser squadron sent forth to handle the anomaly had been sunk while Calamity Division had achieved total victory, only to have BatDiv 1 sunk by the anomaly. Whatever form the anomaly took was fast and powerful, clearly superior to the floating antiques sent to test the ponies. With the spotting report from Venom, it was obvious what form the anomaly took.

It and its sisters were under orders to test Equis and remain hidden while doing so. To probe and force them to adapt or die. The kansen was a minor setback, a mountain standing before the waves. One against many, unchanging while the waves shifted and changed forms. One form stood out amongst many.

A cube appeared.

Thousands of tons of steel poured into shipyards. Shaped, placed together, and welded into one. In just a few hours the hulls of ships would be built. Then in the following hours those hollow hulls would be filled. Boilers, pipes, beams all under the invisible guidance of the cube.

Within days, new ships would be built, arranged into squadrons in a week and rearranged into proper fleets in the weeks to follow. One such fleet led by a mighty vessel, another by splendid cats, another by four mountains and a few scouts for good measure. A fleet led by monarchs would be tasked specifically to divide the ponies from the griffons.

Why not? Its sisters were taking their time and it had unlimited resources to complete its task. It could afford to play for a little while longer.

Ventis Secundis and indestructible diamonds. What lovely phrases.

Knock knock knock

“Good morning, Lady Chesapeake. May I enter?” A mare called out.

…

Groan…

I needed a few seconds, maybe a minute or two, to psyche myself up before answering.

…

“Yeah…sure.” I groaned out, loud enough for the guard to open the door.

“I’m Feather Duster and in addition to coming to deliver an invitation to dine with the Princesses this morning, I’ve also been assigned as your personal attendant for the duration of your stay here at Canterlot Castle. It’s nice to meet you!” She spoke in a chipper way.

…

“Lady Chesapeake?”

…

“Are they serving coffee?” I opened up an eye and saw blur. A second later, I had my glasses on and saw a cream colored pegasus mare in a maid outfit looking at me.

…

Sure, why not?

“Yes, the kitchen is serving coffee and the most delicious pancakes in Canterlot!” She grinned, a twinkle in her eyes.

…

“Fine.” I threw open the covers and tried to roll up into a sitting position.

Thud

“Lady Chesapeake!”

Keyword, tried.

“Ow.”

An hour later I emerged from my room looking like a brand-new mare, according to Feather Duster after she finished my mane and coat. An oddly pleasant experience considering whenever I tried combing my hair when it grew out I’d inevitably find a knot in there that caused me pain when I tried to pull at it. She thankfully stayed in the room while I used the toilet and showered in the bathroom, still trying to ignore the whole new body thing.

Turns out Feather Duster was something of a chatterbox who loved meeting interesting new ponies and other creatures that came to negotiate with Equestria. And it turns out that I had just missed the Storm King invasion. Eh, I would have left a lot of collateral damage and a bloody mess with my cannons and that shit gets disturbing. I’ve seen people play Cleanup Detail and inevitably somebody has to wash the blood off the ceiling. How did it get there!?

Feather Duster quickly fell silent as we reached the royal dining hall to which a pair of guards opened the door after saluting me.

Within I saw both the royal sisters already at the surprisingly long table for just the two of them. Celestia was taking a bite out of a beautifully made stack of pancakes while Luna looked like she wanted nothing more than to pass out but kept herself awake through sheer force of will. The two rulers of the realm turned their attention to the door opening and smiled at the sight of me.

“Ah Chesapeake, good morning. We would be honored if you would join us." Celestia greeted me as I took a spot at the table. "Was your rest peaceful?”

“Well enough I suppose. Sorry for keeping you waiting.” A plate of absolutely delicious smelling pancakes stacked comically high was placed in front of me along with a carafe of coffee while an almost equally large stack was placed in front of Celestia and Luna.

“It is fine, we finished moving our respective celestial bodies not an hour ago. You only missed our conversation about the…video?” At my nod Luna continued. “Videos on the development of the ironclad in the Royal Navy. A truly novel and educational endeavor that could aid Equestria in modernizing.” Her magic enveloped her silverware, the lunar mare eyeing her own pancakes with a very un-pony like glint in her eye. “But now that you have joined us, we may begin discussing the preparations for the future.” She continued the mood turning serious for a moment before she grinned slightly. “After we begin our respective meals of course…”

“Of course.” I reached out for my own silverware, still unwilling to question how my hooves were able to hold such utensils without opposable thumbs, sliced off a bit of pancake, and took a bite.

…

“Now then, the first problem we must discuss is the means with which we shall deliver you to the future fields of battle.” I blinked, focusing on Luna as she put aside her meal for a moment. “Our original intention had been to use pegasi scouts to determine just where our foes intend to strike and, upon gleaming such insights into their intentions, we would use the Wonderbolts to rush you to the defense of their intended target.” Luna explained before smiling at my inevitable grimace. “Of course, after yesterday, we have begun to make other plans for ensuring you can arrive in a timely manner.”

I sighed.

“I knew ship mares and flying didn’t go hand in hand.” I grumbled.

“Which is why we will be discussing an alternative solution with graduates and members of the School for Gifted Unicorns in order to devise a teleportation-based means of travel for you to make use of.” Celestia added in between bites of her breakfast the white alicorn consuming her pancakes even faster than me, reminding me of Akagi and Yamato’s meal in the anime. I couldn’t help but look around for a human sized rice cooker as Celestia kept talking. “We are also setting the groundwork for when we will inform Equestria of the coming conflict in addition to summoning dignitaries from our surrounding nations to ensure that all species are prepared for what is to come. Which is why until our preparations are complete we believe that our best course of action is to familiarize as many ponies with the specifications of the Morgana by having them review copies of your book, and observe the pony with the closest approximation of their abilities, mainly you yourself. This knowledge will then be spread across Equestria so that local captains will know how to recognize their enemy and our shipyards can construct ships to fight them. So long as you are willing to share such information with us, of course.” The solar Diarch asked.

“Sure, that’s fine by me. I even had my crew create copies of not only Jane’s Fighting Ships but other books that I thought would be useful.” I agreed instantly, summoning copies of Jane’s Fighting Ships, a duplicate of Fighting Techniques of Naval Warfare, a booklet that had the histories and design specifications from the two books about weapons and, surprisingly enough, a copy of The Influence of Sea Power Upon History. I didn’t even know I had a physical copy of that book. “I’m just glad you're not going to make me the flagship. Last time that happened, Hood blew up and took all but three of her crew down with her and Bismarck was hunted down before getting torpedoed and shot up by a whole lot of angry Brits. I can’t play the role of Goeben forever.”

“That’s…wonderful. Although I did not understand the names you used I do understand what you meant. I want to reiterate that Equestria will not force you to fight the Morgana alone. We will do whatever it takes to aid you in our time of need.” Celestia took a copy of each book while Luna took her copies. I still had the originals and was planning on the crew keeping another dozen spares just in case.

“It will take time before Equestria is on a wartime footing, even if we aren’t technically at war.” At my confusion Luna explained. “Unless the Morgana step forward and establish diplomatic relations or even show themselves to be sentient or possess a structured hierarchy then declaring war on them would be like declaring war on timberwolves. Would they recognize what it means to be in a state of war? Would they even be capable of negotiating a peace or a surrender? Until they come forward and show such capability we can’t declare war on the Morgana. What we can do is put Equestria under a state of emergency to put through policies aimed towards defeating the Morgana without certain…princes trying to block them.”

“Now Luna, you know that Blueblood was only scared of you.” Celestia gently put her fork down as Luna glared angrily in the distance.

“And I sought to assuage his fears of the Nightmare, only for that foal to start a petition to banish me back to the moon!” Luna turned to glare at Celestia.

“No pony is getting banished to the moon. I had hoped that I made it clear after the Galla.” Thankfully the door slammed open before I could continue to listen in on this noodle incident.

“Hey Chesapeake! Hope you're ready to go through basic training!” Unfortunately it was Spitfire who just barged in. Who then walked over and, somehow, began dragging me towards the door. At least my stocks were full.

“Oh, by the way I have summoned my most faithful former student, her former student and the royal crystaller to Canterlot to begin researching the Wisdom Cubes.” Celestia explained just as Spitfire dragged me past the door.

“Yes, along with a certain pony to command the Royal Guard.” Luna’s statement was the last thing I heard before the doors closed.

At least I get to meet Twilight Sparkle if I survive.

…

Why am I more scared of Spitfire than I am of Morgana battleships?