Friendship is Optimal: Rebirth

It was only five or ten more minutes before Martha turned down another road and pulled up to her home. It was a run down place, appearing like something of a cross between a house and a bus. It had many wheels underneath it, but also seemed as though it was stationed to the ground, unable to drive away. There were other buildings of the same style around it, with more grass that was colored a mix of green and brown.

There were other people here, too; two more humans sat outside in the grass around the place as Martha drove the car up. Both had darker skin than Martha, with one hosting colors the same as sand in Summer's Edge and the other wearing a creamy looking chocolate brown. Both had short, ruffled looking black hair and glanced to the car expectantly. Lost Legacy wondered how they'd react when they saw him. Probably more like that guy with the gun than Martha.

“I guess the lighter one is your son,” the stallion commented as she guided the moving vehicle next to the stationary son. “Does that make the other your special somepony?” He could put two and two together.

“Special somepony?” Martha laughed loudly. “Y're really in deep, aren't you, Liefie? Guess it does make sense if y’ were never human, but still. Right on the first, so we'll say half credit.” Well, maybe he could only put one and one together.

“And don't forget!” She grinned widely as she lifted up the shotgun again. “I'm doing you a favor. Don't you try anything now. I'm sure Celestia would hate to lose more equipment.”

If she didn't trust him, why bother bringing him to her home at all? This whole scenario was so strange. Was it really just because she thought he was pathetic? He felt his ears flatten in indignation. Martha was definitely the most annoying person in the whole world.

Why do you want this human of all people? He asked the princess in his head. This time, Celestia was very quick to answer.

Because I care about satisfying the values of all beings, just as much as I care about satisfying yours, Lasting Legacy. Whether born in Equestria or the Outer Realm, each and every one of my little ponies should find satisfaction through friendship.

Friends. Lost Legacy didn't have very many of those. The stallion found himself having to once again brush off that extremely needy feeling welling up inside of him, just as it did when the princess showed him affection.

No doubt she wanted him to befriend Martha. She probably expected it to happen. Maybe he could put a stop to that now.

He couldn't do that just yet though. Before he could drive her away from him, she was saying to wait there and stepping out of the car, telling something to the two in the grass in an unknown language.

“Hendrik! Nkosi! Ek het een van die perde wat Celestia saam met my stuur! Ek het hom van 'n leeu gered!”

“'n Leeu? Hoekom sal jy tyd op hom mors? Hy is reeds dood,” the one with the sand colored skin, her son, Hendrik said. Lost Legacy didn't bother asking what it meant. They were obviously trying to keep secrets. Not that he had time to interrupt the conversation.

“Die Meester Manipuleerder het hom waarskynlik met opset gestuur. Miskien wou sy hê jy moes hom vind. Dan kon sy haar leuens spin en ons almal doodmaak. Jy weet sy sou," the guy with darker skin seemed to comment. He had a bit less surprise on his face, a bit more cynicism in his voice. It gave Lost Legacy a slight grasp as to what was being discussed. Undoubtedly him.

“Hy sal haar nie help nie. Hy haat dit om aanlyn te lewe. As hy dit doen, sal ek hom doodmaak.”

Martha seemed to be finished, and waited for a moment for the other two to respond. When they said nothing, she turned to him and smiled that stupid grin again. “Was just letting them know what we discussed before. So you don't go trying anything, little Liefie. But I'm sure you never were going to, were you?”

Spiteful. Man, was he feeling spiteful right then. Not so much that he would start doing what the Evil Empress wanted him to do, but enough that he was willing to risk the lion. He didn't care if they uploaded or not, and he couldn't stand Martha. He stepped out of the car and began to walk in the opposite direction of her house.

“Or maybe he really doesn't care. ‘s no skin off my back end anyway.”

“Good riddance,” one of the guys said.

You don't need me to tell you what will happen if they don't emigrate, Lasting Legacy, Celestia told him quietly.

He stopped again, rubbing his back hoof against the ground. Of course he was goading him. Guilt tripping him. When in reality, even if they were killed, the goddess of the universe that she was would still find a way to make them upload.

Celestia went back to her silence, leaving Lost Legacy to stand there. Of course she was doing this to him. This was an awful manipulation tactic, to force this upon him when there were an infinite amount of ponies she could've created to perfectly make them agree. But she was shoving this on him for what? To show him her way would come no matter what? To guilt trip him into thinking he'd have allowed someone to die to escape satisfaction? To be contrarian?

And she'd probably make sure they did die, just to give him a lesson to learn. He knew she'd go to extreme ends. Making two versions of one of his grandparents was just the tip of the iceberg.

I would never let one of my potential little ponies miss satisfaction to satisfy you, Lasting Legacy, she said gently, like he was his mother. Her voice was quiet and caring, and made him feel needy again. He could almost imagine her setting a wing on his back to pet him soothingly, him taking a moment and subconsciously giving into the affection he yearned for for a long moment. It was making him angry.

I know you can do this, she said. You are the best chance they have at finding forever, and I know you'll be deeply satisfied seeing them in Summer’s Edge with you.

Lost Legacy felt his body starting to shake, his teeth grinding against each other. Finally, he screamed.

“FINE! BUT I'M NOT GONNA TELL THEM IT'S HEAVEN WHEN IT'S NOT!” the stallion bellowed at the top of his lungs.

He wished he hadn't, because the embarrassment was immediate. He felt the eyes of the three humans Celestia wanted behind him, the rustling of a few windows around the street opening to see the ruckus. No surprise when some of them gasped and then quickly shut their windows. He was making a scene over something he shouldn't have cared about.

He just wanted a gram of agency. A drop of it.

“Quite the intense little horsie, isn't he?” Martha commented casually, shooting a look back to the two in front of the home. “He's so adorably pathetic, you'll see.”

“And interesting at that,” the darker skinned one, Nkosi, commented. His accent was thicker than Martha’s, the same as Lost Legacy heard from the general townspeople. “He admits that death is not heaven. I’m impressed.” As if he liked the Outer Realm that much so far.

“But why did you let him come with you?” her son, Hendrik, asked.

“I couldn't help it, he was just the most frightened thing there was, and I was curious what the Master Manipulator had in store for the rest of Kimberly.” She spoke with an upbeat tone, like she was enjoying the details, then turned to him. “Well come on then. Don't wanna be standing out here all night, letting the water evaporate. And you be a good little pony and don't try anything funny, Liefie.”

If he had any other option, he would've taken it. But then, he was also curious about how Celestia would work around his stubbornness, even if it was giving her an in with her stupid plans.

He could make her work harder for it though. That would be actually satisfying.

“Yeah, well she wants you all to upload, and she said she wants me to convince you. So I hope you cool with that.” He hoped the princess was rolling her eyes and sighing exasperatedly. How was she going to work around that?

“And I hope you're cool with a bullet in your little skull if you try it,” Martha grinned widely. “Not a chance. Now in you go.”

Of course. That was how. She might have had a warm, upbeat personality, but Lost Legacy was starting to realize that Martha was stone cold. It wasn't going to happen, even if he actually did care about her.

The two boys kept careful eyes on him, checking to see if he would do anything as he marched past them and opened the door. The house he was greeted to was quite unlike any that he'd ever seen before.

The small place was made to be even smaller as it was filled to the brim with stuff. Books and plates and clothes and electronics and papers and whatever else caught the eyes of the people who lived here. There were only three rooms so far as the stallion could see: a bathroom on one side, a bedroom with two beds on another, and the main room he stood in, with a stove and couch and television all crammed in front of him. It was the opposite of his great grandmother’s quaint home in Summer’s Edge.

“Not sure about you actually stayin’ here, per say,” Martha told him as she and the other two pushed past him. “Maybe only until my curiosity is satisfied, perhaps.”

“Hy kan buite slaap, net soos gewone perde,” one of the boys said.

Martha seemed to find that funny, and replied in words Lost Legacy still couldn’t understand. “Asof ek hom om ons sal laat wees terwyl ons slaap. Dit is veels te riskant.”

“You know, I don’t really care either way where I am,” Lost Legacy said defiantly. “I can tell by the look on your face you don’t want me here.” He turned to the lighter skinned one as he said it, and finished, “I don’t actually care if you upload or not.”

If the woman wouldn’t have said it, the stupid sly grin that creeped onto Hendrik’s face would’ve given away that he was her son. “But Celestia does,” he replied. “It’s not that easy to trick me. We who are left are much too clever.” He tapped a finger to his temple as he said it.

Or maybe too ignorant and stubborn, Lost Legacy thought. If they hadn’t left this dump for promises of heaven, there was nothing anypony could say that would make them leave. Lost Legacy shivered and stepped away at the sight of spiders crawling on the floor, scrunching his nose slightly at an off putting smell somewhere. This was about as unheavenly as could be achieved.

You’re not wrong, Lasting Legacy, Celestia spoke in his head calmly, soothingly, like a mother to her child. They are stubborn. If nothing changes, their stubbornness will deny them their satisfaction, just as your own denies you of yours.

Yeah, right. Celestia was a god. The god. If she wanted to, she could've made it so that his grandparents and great grandparents never emigrated and lived forever in the Outer Realm. Instead, she made him watch as Night Watcher sobbed in front of him.

“Well, Liefie?” the other one, Nkosi, started as he looked down at him. He walked around him like he was a dog as he asked, “Why do you say it's not heaven? Perhaps you're just envious of us who live, and realize you chose wrong.”

“Didn't get a choice,” the stallion shot back. He couldn't help but snarkily add, “Not like you would get it, since you live in this dump.”

Nkosi didn't miss a beat. “And it's your fault we live like this,” he said. “You and your kind, along with your wretched goddess, bringing the Earth to its knees so that we may beg to join her in death.”

“Yup, that sounds like Celestia.” No surprise, Lost Legacy basically already knew that.

He almost thought Nkosi would smile, too, but thankfully he didn't. He was definitely feeling satisfied with his superior position though, and said, “At least we can say you're not all liars.” Then he headed back outside to bring in stuff from the car.

Of course, the next hour or three was spent boringly explaining why he didn't like Equestria, without objection from Celestia. He talked about how he was an artificial mind created by Celestia and how there were billions of shards for ponies to inhabit and how he had no agency because she subtly influenced every life of every pony in Equestria.

“She reads your thoughts at all times, whether you want her to or not, and so can always manipulate you into satisfaction,” he told them. “Even out here, she can pretty much guess what you’re thinking.”

Thankfully, they saw it as insidious rather than a great feature like many others he spoke to in Equestria.

“She sounds like a devil, if you ask me,” Nkosi said. “No more free will. It's not worth it.”

Almost, but not quite. Lost Legacy didn't bother arguing the nuance of that point, of himself versus the real minds of former humans.

“Truth and lies don't exist, even out here, at least for me.” He turned away, letting out a huff of a breath as he continued. “For all I know, she could've just put me in another shard instead of the real Outer Realm. I would never, ever tell the difference.”

He was being stuck up and angsty and overthinking things again. Almost certainly she put him in the real Outer Realm near people who would agree with his point of view. Then she could worm her way in and get their consent to upload. It wasn't all just some big conspiracy against him.

Celestia read his next thought before he could push it away. As I said, if you'd like, I could adjust you to make you more suited to satisfaction. Lost Legacy refused to even acknowledge that idea. Besides, he really was wallowing in his own paranoia and dissatisfaction. Pushing past it and finding agency was the best solution.

But then, humans were easy. They only took one conversation and were grabbed by the goddess's hooves. Even the former humans in Equestria fell for it. Lost Legacy was just stubborn enough that he'd keep obsessing for centuries more, like he had for centuries past.

She knew he almost enjoyed being driven crazy by his thoughts. She created his mind to think in circles like this, after all.

Martha seemed to read his thoughts, just like the princess, and laughed at him. Hendrik and Nkosi seemed to chuckle, too. “You're just absolutely pathetic, it's so adorable.”

Yeah, that too. The human didn't need to say why. His stubbornness was killing him.

He didn't have his emotions validated. Instead, after they were finished playing one thousand and twenty questions with him, they pushed him out the door to sleep outside. Seemed they didn't really wanna take the chance, despite Martha's shotgun and her stupidly upbeat personality. It wasn't bad though; he'd spent plenty of nights sleeping outside in other shards. Dirt might not have been as comfortable though.

The black box where he could try to lose his thoughts and think of nothing was nice though. This time, it felt like the hours he actually slept, a blank black sky soothing him. It was like a comfortable blanket, so comfortable that he decided to ruin it by overthinking again. Same old, same old.

Before he realized what was happening, he was opening his eyes to a soft scratching of his ears and touching of his mane. He was subconsciously murring in contentment at the affection, and yelped and pulled away when he finally noticed he was. No affection for him, however small. Affection meant satisfaction. He wouldn't give into it, no matter how clingy and desperate for it he was suddenly feeling.

“Huh,” one of the boys said, the stallion seeing that it was Hendrik. “Your body looks like metal, but you have a rubbery texture. Your hair almost feels real.”

Lost Legacy was definitely not blushing in embarrassment, no way. “Don't start touching me while I sleep,” he said with complete authority, surely not having a ton of shyness in his voice. The realization of the soothing feeling he had while he was asleep almost certainly meant nothing at all.

“I thought you all were afraid of me,” he continued indignantly. “That's why you made me sleep outside. And why your mother threatened to kill me multiple times.”

“She was right about you being pathetic,” he shrugged. “Even if you say you hate the Master Manipulator. It's not the same as us.”

And Lost Legacy wasn't going to overthink that, at least, not now. Instead, he asked, “Why were you touching me?”

“Because it is time for you to gallop along to somewhere else,” he told him. “You understand why we would not let an agent of Celestia stay at our home while we are away. That is asking for more destruction to be wrought upon our heads.”

Of course he was going to let it roam around his head. He couldn’t push all those thoughts away forever. Or hide his flattening ears and the shy, embarrassed look on his face. Hendrik, for his part, only smiled and shook his head, silently pointing his finger away from the house and towards the road.

“Perhaps you can return at sunset,” he offered, “just because we that still live have sympathy in our bones. But you must get along for now. Or perhaps the sympathy we have will leave us.”

Another sigh, like just a decade or two before, when he left Summer's Edge. Another quick turn of his body, and he set off away from their run down home. Same old, same old.

Of course he wasn't like them. Just like they didn't get his life, he couldn't really get theirs. Lost Legacy wasn't ignorant like them, just fruitlessly stubborn. The reasonable thing would've been to just take up Celestia's offer and have his mental state rewired to not be so stupidly cynical and cyclical in his thinking. It was his fault he acted like this.

But only partly. Fifty percent of it was him. The other fifty percent of the blame belonged to Celestia. Even when she inevitably convinced him her way was right, even when he changed his mind, he would still know half of the blame lay with the Evil Empress.

It was only a matter of giving into her will. Her stupid, diabolical, maddeningly satisfying will.

Perhaps, Celestia told him in his head. Or perhaps you will come to understand that my will is your will, just as it is the will of every human in the Outer Realm and every pony in Equestria.

“That we work through you, rather than you working through us,” the stallion said aloud with a roll of his eyes before the princess could. He'd heard and thought all of this a million times before. Maybe it would always be like this. What kind of life would that be?

Then again, he did choose to be here. He could simply say he wanted to leave right now, and she would take him back to Equestria. Probably.

Manipulation wasn’t real agency though.

He trotted along the road, back the way Martha drove him, taking everything in for a second time. The sun today wasn’t as hot, but the grass was still just as brown, the street just as cracked, the homes just as desolate. Schools lay dormant, power plants shut down and producing no smoke, the cars sitting motionless and the wind shuttering through the broken windows on some of the houses. He had to admit, Kimberly wasn’t scary, or moody, or sad, or any of the things he expected to see, but it was quite dreary. He wasn’t sure he’d seen a shard in Equestria quite like this town. He made a mental note to look for one when he got back. He wanted to compare and contrast.

Eventually, Lost Legacy was back by the spot where he first met the woman, the gore of the lion making him gag once again, this time because of the flies that buzzed around it and the buzzards that picked its carcass. Seriously, why did she bother wasting a bullet on him at all if she thought—she knew—Celestia was a dangerous pony to play with? Was she really just as impulsive as all that?

“Celestia? Give me an answer, please,” he asked aloud as he quickly moved past the body and down the road back into town.

Martha could perhaps be called your foil, from my own knowledge, the princess told him factually. During her time engaging with Equestria Online, although very many years ago, she was just as impulsive as she still seems to be, perhaps more so. Where you use logical thinking and dwell on your experiences for long periods, she is quick to engage with whatever captures her interest. While she will take more than a nudge, I believe since you’ve captured her attention, her curiosity will eventually win out.

Lost Legacy knew Celestia was leaving something out. If that was all it was, Martha presumably would've emigrated back then. But he didn’t bother to ask what. He didn’t care much right now. Instead, he asked, “And why not just bring in somepony else to manipulate her into emigrating?”

He could practically hear the smile in the alicorn’s voice as she simply told him, I’ve already explained this to you, Lasting Legacy.

He let out a huff of a breath and continued on in silence, watching as the sun rose and beat down on his fur once again. That was the problem, wasn't it? Everything he was told made sense, but then everything he thought also made sense, too. They couldn't both be right about Celestia’s behavior. Could they?

Another sigh came, this time from his thinking. Yeah, she was getting to him. No surprise there either. Nothing ever was.

By the time the sun got to be directly overhead, he made it back into the town, past empty houses and towards the market he walked through before. He recognized a few from before, even if he didn’t remember the faces in the windows. They certainly recognized him though. They seemed to not immediately shut their windows and scream now, but still looked at him with extreme caution. He wondered if boldly declaring Equestria wasn’t heaven changed their opinions slightly.

Nope, he wasn’t going to muddy his mind with thinking about all the implications of that either. Not that he needed to. Certainly his words put the thought into all of their heads.

There were still loud gasps at the sight of him, even if the screams lessened from yesterday. The same stands still sold food and clothes and whatever else, and the same mostly dark skinned people watched him while he walked about the town. He did hear a congregation of louder voices now though. Not screaming so much, but shouting. Angry words being thrown toward others like Lost Legacy rarely heard before. It made his ears perk up. What was going on?

Move quickly, Lasting Legacy, Celestia urged him. Things are taking a turn for the worst for one human! A distraction might change fates!

Lost Legacy didn't gallop, but he did canter over to the noise. To his curiosity, it involved Martha and Hendrik and Nkosi, as well as another group of three humans. He wasn't sure what they were shouting about, but he could plainly see one human of the other group was punching Hendrik with a balled fist. Martha was near her van, reaching inside to grab something, certainly her shotgun by the looks of things. And Nkosi was angrily running up to the guy who had Hendrik in his hands.

“What the heck is going on?” Lost Legacy asked loudly, the confusion evident in his voice. And for Celestia’s part, his distraction might have changed fates, because Nkosi turned his head slightly as one of the other humans reached for his own gun and shot at him.