Reluctant Hero

We live during an era of peace unlike those Equestria had ever seen before. Thanks to the Princess and her eternal wisdom, there are few ponies that even know of conflict and fighting beyond their small-time quabbles or what they've read from history books. But, as it should be obvious to anyone reading this document, this peace is not absolute. Princess Celestia, our mighty ruler and caretaker, works day and night to ensure the populace of Equestria can maintain its lifestyle, and it's our duty as members of the Royal Armed Forces to aid her in this regard.

It is in fulfillment of this most sacred duty that some ponies manage to stand out among the rest, but since secrecy is one of our objectives their accomplishments are rarely celebrated, even if they have every right to be. But sometimes secrecy must be ignored, if only slightly, in order to learn as much as we can from experience. It is with this in mind that I've decided to publish these documents, descriptions of some of the greatest threats Equestria has faced in recent memory as told by a renown hero of the crown. Even if reading will be limited to members of the Intelligence Service, as well as a few choice members of the military and royalty, we must not let these stories go untold, lest we repeat the mistakes of the past. Though it may surprise my colleagues to learn about the (apparent) cowardice and most certainly un-heroic thoughts of such a recognized figure, this revelation only shows how much we have to learn about the ingenuity of those ponies that serve with us.  Let's remember the old saying, bravery is defined as facing your fears and overcoming them, while a complete lack of fear simply means you're insane. If this holds true, Captain Clover may be one of the bravest ponies to have lived; and, his inner feelings besides, all of his accomplishments are real, tangible things that he achieved despite his shortcomings, definitive proof of his heroic nature (even if he doesn't believe so).

Outside of the occasional footnote here and there, which in my role as editor I've felt in the liberty of adding, this journal is left largely untouched, just as it was found in the archive, and provides a pure (if sometimes confusing) insight into how the mind of a hero works. Let's not allow this opportunity go to waste.

-Agent Mist, Equestrian Intelligence Service.

The first thing civilians picture when you ask them about us is a golden paper shredder in which our Glorious Princess, in her eternal wisdom, decides to dump all of their tax money while giggling like a filly. Either that, or a purely aesthetic addition to the castle grounds, not unlike a group of similar looking, short-tempered statues that Celestia decided to animate in order to amuse herself. And while it's true that the Guard's biggest concern in this day and age seems to be parading around for the occasional celebration, at least as far as the public is concerned, this is far from being our only duty.

But the general populace can hardly be blamed for this lack of knowledge. As is expected to happen, during an era of peace most ponies prefer to ignore the existence of soldiers, reminders of the confrontations they'd rather forget. Especially when what little conflict make the news nowadays seem to be solved by magical ancient artifacts fuelled by the power of love and a lovely bunch of ragtag misfits. One must admit, when faced with the decision to mobilize the entire Equestrian armed forces or send the six ponies that manage to solve everything with rainbows and no casualties, the Princess (or Princesses, as it were) usually make the right choice (beautiful young mares armed with nothing but their wits, love for each other, and magic powers that could give Dischord a run for his money make for much better peace-time heroes, I must admit); and with our rulers being incredibly powerful goddesses themselves, it all comes down to the cold hard truth: that the Royal Guard barely does any "guarding" nowadays. That is not to say we don't face any perils, though, even if our missions differ a bit from the grand battles of old, and even if all of our heroic deeds are marked with a big red "CONFIDENTIAL" stamp and kept in the Royal Archives to rot.

I'm not bitter, though. I did not enlist to become a legend, but rather to serve the crown, and not all of us get to be immortalized in murals at the Palace while getting golden medals  (but then again, I haven't stared down two different evil deities and lived to tell the tale, and I certainly don't intend to, as long as I can avoid it). However, unlikely as it would seem, I somehow managed to earn a reputation for bravery and heroism, thanks in no small part to my good luck and a surprising ability to escape, unscathed, from life threatening situations, a reputation which came with some very nice perks, such as regular invitations to take advantage of the Princesses' private cook (which, in itself, was worth most of the trouble I went through), a salary that made senior generals green with envy, and a great ice-breaker for when I met a cute mare while off-duty.

Of course, this fame is a double-edged sword, and as much as I strive to get some peace and quiet while working a desk job, it's surprising how often the brass manage to have me face the biggest threats to Equestria that don't just fall into "just aim the Elements of Harmony at them" territory. But such is the life of a soldier.

My name is Green Clover, Captain of the Equestrian Royal Guard(*), and I've decided to share some of my stories with you, my reader (even if you'll only get to read them in a couple hundred years once they get declassified).

(*): Although he kept his rank and uniform, during most of his adventures (including those told in this particular story) the Captain would act as a special envoy of the crown, effectively removing him from the chain of command and allowing him much more freedom when it came to making decisions and acting them out.