Adventures Are No Fun.

Screech sat on the dining table. Melodie's fore leg draped over her. She had already sewn two dozen pillows back together, fixed three lamps, four picture frames, a chair, a sea shell, two glass birds and a hole in the wall. Meolodie and Glitter kept their distance and watched when she destroyed the house. She stared at the broken clock. After what felt like hours she was nearly done putting it back together for the sixth time. It still didn't tick.

Melodie pointed out the irony of a clock being the one thing Screech can't fix, but was otherwise silent.

"Are you mad at me?" asked Screech. "I know I should not have gone on a rampage. I tried to stay calm. I wish I could be... ... Melodie?"

Melodie was sound asleep.

Screech could see the sun rising through a window. She didn't mean to stay up all night. She wondered what time it was.

"Hey!"

Screech woke with a start. She felt Melodie hold her tighter for a second. She saw Razzle standing beside the table. "Shouldn't you be in school?"

Razzle shrugged. "First period is history of Celestia's failures. Second period is aerial and ground combat. I don't usually show up before third period math."

"Our school teaches a class on why angels love ponies more than other creatures," said Melodie.

Razzle chuckled. "Only foreigners believe in angels."

Screech shook her head. "No we don't. We are just taught to believe in them."

Razzle smiled at Screech. "I picked up your mail. I didn't want them shredding it again."

Screech hopped off the table and hugged the earth pony. "Thank you. That was very considerate of you."

Razzle hesitated before hugging Screech. She hugged her very tight and held her for nearly a minute.

Screech looked at her four letters (Carver, Wild, Bobo and Hazard wrote to her) and and a box addressed to Razzle.

The earth pony pointed at the box. "I bought those for you."

Screech opened the box. The letters could wait. She pulled out four pink and black knee high socks. She blushed.

Razzle smiled. "Do you like them?"

Screech nodded. She swallowed her embarrassment. "Thanks."

"Try them on," encouraged Melodie.
Screech stuffed the socks back into the box. "They can wait until we are alone. In Ponyville. In two years."

Melodie and Razzle gave confused looks.

"Must be a bat pony thing," said Melodie.
For the first time in a while Screech was grateful to be friends with Scoops. She probably would have worn the socks in public if she didn't know better.

Screech gleefully opened her letter from Carver.

Razzle hopped onto the table. She looked at Melodie and chewed her bottom lip. "How are you?"

"Fine. As fine as I can be." Melodie looked at Screech. "I have to go back to Ponyville in a few days."

Razzle smiled. "I will get Screech all to myself?"

"No," said Screech. "Glitter needs me to hold her hoof. Second is not leaving my sight ever again. Success... That family needs my constant attention."

Razzle glared at her bat pony friend. "I am glad you are not my mare friend."

Screech looked to Melodie who gave a kind and reassuring smile. "I am a hoof full." She continued opening her mail. She read every letter twice and tried not to laugh when she saw the playing cards Wild sent her. She laughed for nearly three minutes.

Glitter poked her head into the dining hall. She still had bed mane and chocolate pudding on her cheeks. She watched the three laughing fillies.

Screech smiled at Glitter. "Do you want to play rummy with us? Please?" The rage she felt at her for letting her son 'date' a stallion was mostly buried by shame and concern. She knew Glitter didn't approve even if for the wrong reasons.

Glitter smiled. She rolled her eyes and huffed. "Fine." She didn't even fool Razzle. She sat at the table and picked up her cards. She purses her lips.

Screech blushed. "They were a gift from Wild Hearts."

Glitter nodded. "I didn't say anything." She stared at a card and sighed. "That is just not fair. This mare is not as pretty as I used to be."

"You are still just as pretty as any of these mares," assured Screech.

Glitter shook her head. "I have not been this pretty in a long time. I always wanted to be a model."

"It is not too late," said Melodie with a smile.

Glitter gestured toward her burn scars with her scarred hoof.

"You could sell sexy fire fighter better than any of the mares in this deck," stated Razzle with a fake smile.

"Or regular fire fighter," said Screech. "You don't have to model nude."

Glitter's eyes filled with tears. She placed her cards on the table and trotted to her bed.

Screech sat on Glitter's bed. She watched Gold swim around in her little fish tank. "You did remember to feed Gold this morning right?"

Glitter lay on her bed. She stopped crying after a few minutes but she kept her face buried in two dozen pillows.

"You don't talk about papa much." Screech kept watching the fish.

Glitters head popped up from her pillows like a firework. "What do you want me to say about him. He used every pony around him for his own gain. He only cared about himself. He left me with two sons I don't know how to raise."

"Did he encourage you to become a model?" asked Screech. She waited for an answer. "It did not go well did it?" Still no answer. "One of the pictures on your bookshelf is a headshot."

Glitter sighed. "He was the only pony who made me feel beautiful." She broke into a new fit of crying.

Screech gently rubbed Glitter's back. "I would like it if you talked about him. I did not know him well."

"I am sorry," sobbed Glitter.

Screech nodded. "Thanks."

Two police officers were patrolling Wonderbolt Park when Screech and Meolodie arrived. Stallions with helmets and face shields, bulky stab proof vests and red metal batons (not to mention the Wonderbolts decals on the helmets).

Screech barely spared the officers a glance. "The carrots here are pretty good. I think they are freshly grown in Cloudsdale."

Both police officers flew over and landed in front of Screech. They landed so hard little puffs of cloud rose around their hooves.

"This must be the bat pony," said One.

"Looks like a foreigner to me," agreed Two.

Screech was going to guess this was about the colt she brutalized. Now she was guessing the police were just as trust worthy as Guilded Lilly.

Meoldie's eyes glowed. "Just tell us what you want so we can go get our carrots."

"I want to run all foreigners out of my beautiful town before they ruin it like they did the rest of Equestria," said One.

"I want to crack your skulls with me baton," stated Two.

Screech took both batons and tore them to bite sized pieces with her fangs.

"Hoof cuff yourselves together," commanded Melodie while her marefriend was destroying the weapons.

Cries from ponies across the park broke out. "Your kind are not welcome here!" "This park is for pegasus ponies!" "You are scaring good fillies and colts!" "Go back to where you came from!"

Screech noticed a large number of ponies wearing green ascots (in addition to their Wonderbolt memorabilia). She wanted to know the history and symbolism behind the green ascots, but it didn't seem like the right time to ask. Glass jars full of blue, gold and green paint soared through the air. Most of them didn't land ten ponies from her. A few bounced without breaking. She rolled her eyes. Keep the children safe by covering the ground with broken glass. Pegasi never walk.

A disturbing thought stuck itself in Screeches mind. Earth ponies and unicorns would fall through the clouds to their deaths without the help of magic shoes. She imagined the first time this happened the ponies on the receiving end were not rolling their eyes and mocking the attackers. The paint was probably not pain. Perhaps a blue, green and gold potion. Or a green potion dropped by the Wonderbolts.

Screech spit out a mouth full of red metal. "We should get our breakfast somewhere else."

Screech looked up. She could smell the more violent of the two police officers following her from above. She heard a high pitched beep from his walkie-talkie every time he communicated with another officer. Three civilians from the park also followed her.

Melodie trotted beside Screech. She didn't know where they were going. She followed her mare friend and hoped for the best. After two hours the buildings got smaller and the streets got wider.

Hundreds of unicorns, pegasi and earth ponies chatted and took pictures of Cloudsdale Arena and the four rows of brass statues depicting famous pegasi in sports ranging from buck ball to archery to hoof races. They marveled at the trees growing in terracotta pots encased in cinder blocks. They nearly filled the hundreds of square hooves around the stadium.

Screech smiled. "Think all foreigners look alike."

Melodie stared at the big rectangle stadium. The high walls with only one wonderbolt painted on them. The equestrian flag flying proudly. The ponies milling about didn't wear gold or blue.

"What do you want to eat?" asked Screech.

Melodie noticed a row of food vendors. One claimed to sell authentic Crystal Empire fare. "I have not eaten crystal hay cakes in years."

"Could you get me oats and toast?" Screech didn't need to explain getting too close to the combination of smells emanating from the line of food stalls would make her sick.

Melodie nodded and trotted off to wait in line.

Screech looked around despite not being able to smell the police pony. The little metal table she shared with Melodie was a decent trot form the food stalls and everything else. A pegasus could dive down from any direction. The blue umbrella obscuring her view didn't help her feel more safe, even if it did provide cool shade on a hot morning

Melodie placed her hoof on Screeche's. "Are you feeling okay?"

Screech nodded. "I can't smell them." She sipped her apple juice. "I wonder how Papa dealt with this."

"I don't think he spent much time here," guessed Melodie. "The vacation pictures around your house look to have been taken in every town but Cloudsdale."

"He was an adult bat pony who could fly and worked in private security," pointed out Screech. "Not exactly an easy target."
"You want to fight them?"

"No," assured Screech. "I just want to scare them."

"You bit their metal batons in half. How do you plan on scaring them?"

Screech shrugged. "I will not do anything violent. I don't like vomiting."

"Are you sure you can't come back to Ponyville with me? We can figure something out. I would live in Platinum Park if Guilded doesn't let you stay at Luna's."

Screech shook her head. "Glitter, Second and Success need help."

"I know. I respect you for wanting to help them."

Screech placed a hoof on Melodie's soft smooth cheek. "I wish I could go back too."

Melodie gently bit her love's hoof. "I noticed a lot of mares on your naught playing cards were wearing socks."

Screech blushed. "I don't think Razzle know what she was buying."

"When we get back want to see what I look like in them?"

Screeche's entire body heated up. "Yes."

Melodie giggled. She was blushing more then her mare-friend. "Speaking of sexy things, have you competed here?" She gestured toward the stadium.

Screech smiled. "Yes. I am going be competing here in a dew days. Carver is coming to watch me. More of the events require the ability to fly than the Ponyville rodeo, but I will mail you at least three blue ribbons."

Screech finished her oats and toast. "Do you miss The Crystal Empire?"

Melodie shook her head. "The ponies there never attacked me but they didn't like me either. Ponyville was my first real home. I miss the food. Princess Cadence showed affection through food. She showed a lot of affection."

"You never did tell me why you left," said Screech.

Melodie looked at her last bite of hay cakes. "I know."

The front door to Glitter's home was not on its hinges. It was in the middle of the house broken in two.

Screech bared her fangs. "The police pony who was following us is inside. I can smell him."

"We should find Razzle," pleaded Melodie.
Screech shook her head. "I am fixing this here and now."

"You promised no-"

"That was before they broke downy front door," growled Screech.

"You have other options," urged Melodie. "If you go in there I am not putting on the socks."

Screech marched into her house. She could hear her heart beat. Her stomach twisted with rage and disgust. Her hooves shook with a nervous energy. She felt frail and sick, but killing always made her feel better.

Melodie reluctantly followed her love.
Five police ponies sat around Melodie's bed playing poker with Screeche's naught cards.

"I am feeling nice today," declared Screech. "You have five seconds to pray to Luna before I kill you."

Captain Cuffs smiled at Screech. "That little thing got you running scared?" he teased.

"You saw what she did to my baton," cried Lieutenant Two.

"Batons," scoffed Captain Cuffs. "Real stallions fight with their hooves." He got out of his chair. The big orange pegasus looked more like a buffalo than a pony, but didn't smell like either. He towered over the bat pony filly.

"Trapping yourselves in my house was really foalish of you," chided Screech. "You should have picked a location you could fly away. One of you might have been able to get away."

"Captain, Captain, Captain," cheered all of the police including Two.

Cuffs drew his aluminum baseball bat. He did not swing like a pro trying to send the ball flying to the fans. He swung like a kid hitting a brick wall after her mother told her she deserved to suffer for being born a monster. He whiffed.

Screech easily ducked under the metal bat. She lunged forward and flared her wing. She sliced Cuff's head open. She grabbed a chair and threw it at the nearest officer. She sprinted under the table tackling Two and biting a chunk out of his shoulder.

Dusty reached for his baton as he flew toward the foreigner. A heavy chair struck him on the head knocking him flat on his back. His vision blurred and pain wracked his entire body.

Two dove under the table like a coward despite being the violent pony who stalked the child for hours. He felt fire burning in his flesh then he felt very cold and numb. His racing heart all but stopped. All of his worries floated out of his head.

Strings got her baton free and landed a solid strike in the center of the pesky child's skull. She was shoved on to her back punched in the face. She swore she heard her own skull crack before her ears rang like fire bells. Oddly she barely felt any pain.

Honey dropped his baton and put his forelegs in the air. "Please don't hurt me," he begged with tears in his eyes.

Screech vomited all over the floor. Her heart raced and her vison blurred. Tears ran down her cheeks. She felt like her skeleton was made of cracked glass just waiting to fall apart. "You broke into my home to kill me and my mare-friend!" she screamed. "How dare you ask me for mercy!" Two's blood flew off her lips. "You don't deserve a second chance! You are a monster!" She cuffed String's hooves together. She turned her flank on Honey and Bit Two's open wound.

A burst of green fire illuminated the room.
Cuff's cut was deep. His black crooked horn was cut half way through. The oversized changeling's pegasus disguise was ruined.

Honey saw the big changeling and grabbed his baton. A lasso flew around his neck and dragged him to the floor. He was out cold before he could swing.

Screech gently bit Cuff's horn healing it half way. She had to be careful not to cut it off completely. She didn't know if a severed horn could be reattached. It was a risk she was not willing to take. She had all five cops defeated in fewer than two minutes. The thought of what would have happened if she hit her growth spurt before she tried to kill Periwinkle had her spitting bile onto the floor.

Melodie rubbed Screeche's back. "What now? Wait for the rest of the police to show up?"

Screech shook her head. "No. Just the commissioner." She grabbed Two's walkie-talkie. "Who am I talking to?"

"Police dispatch," came a mare's voice form the walkie-talkie. "You are playing with police property. Return it to the location you found it or you will be arrested."

"Yeah. This is Screech Stomchaser the filly you sent five police officers to beat the Celetia worship out of." Screech held the walkie-talkie to Two's muzzle. "Tell them what happened."

"She kicked our flanks," groaned Two. "She did something to Captain Cuffs and he turned into a changeling."

"Tell your commissioner I am giving him two options," threatened Screech. "He can say this attack was just one rouge changeling who managed to infiltrate the police force. This was foreigner on foreigner violence. He will praise me as a hero for stopping the vile and corrupt Captain. Or I tell Equetria Daily what happened and Princess Twilight gets involved."

Screech waited in silence for twenty minutes.

"Fine," came a rough stallion voice. "The less time I have to spend dealing with this the better."

Mud Hound let out a sharp whistle that hurt Screeche's ears. "How did this happen?" He gestured to the four cuffed ponies and the one cuffed Changeling.

Commissioner Castration glared at the reporter. "We are launching an internal investigation as we speak."

Hound nodded. His over sized hat nearly fell off his head. "Sure you are. I don't care what you do. This story is my ticket to Canterlot. I can't wait to leave this hoof-and-mouth town behind me."

Screech was not surprised even the journalists in Cloudsdale were selfish. She understood why a pony with a Las Pegasis accent would rather live in Canterlot (swine pit is is). Screech fake coughed.

"Right," sighed Commissioner. "Put in your paper I said this oversized filly is a hero to all of Cloudsdale."

"Are you saying she is a hero?"

"You are saying I did."

Hound nodded. His hat fell to the floor.

"Can you just take the picture?" asked Screech. She looked into the next room. Melodie watched her from a distance. "I have more important things to do."

"I did too," accused Commissioner as if any of this was the bat pony's fault.

"Yeah yeah." Mud lifted his camera and snapped a photo of the cuffed changeling with the captain's badge.

Screech waisted no time biting the captain's horn healing it the rest of the way.

"What are you doing?" barked Commissioner.

Screech sighed. "Probably something foalish. If I let him go to trial he will be sentenced to death. I am setting him free."

"Do you know how that will make the police force look?" yelled Commissioner.

Screech shrugged. "No, but I don't care. I am not letting him die."

Green fire surrounded Cuffs and he changed into a porcupine. Screech scooped him up and threw him out the nearest window. Cuffs fell through the clouds.

Commissioner frowned fiercely.

"Please get out of my house," Screech politely requested with a glare.

Commissioner scoffed. "You are not worth my time."

Screech smiled. "I know."

Screech and Melodie sat in the empty closet where the bat pony used to sleep. It was dark and quiet.

"Screech!" yelled Glitter. "Why are there bloody hoof prints all over my pillows?"

Screech sat staring at her hooves.

The closet door flew open. "Screech!" Glitter's face was pale as a ghost. "Thank Celestia!" She dropped to the floor. "Don't scare me like that."

Screech smiled. Her heart felt a dozen emotions but joy was the most present. "Sorry Glitter. The police tried to bully me."

Glitter grimaced. "You are just like your father. I hope you didn't hurt them too badly."

"They are fine."

"Come out of the closet. I am making lunch." Glitter trotted off to the kitchen.

Screech looked at Melodie. Her heart hurt again. "Are you going to break up with me?"

Melodie sighed. "I don't know." Tears built up in her eyes. "I... You can't! You have not been away from Ponyville for a week." She wiped a tear off her cheek. "How much have you changed since we met? How much have you changed since Dodge Junction? Did you get better or did your situation make you better?"

Screech took a deep breath. "Both. Maybe I was naïve to think I overcame all of my troubles."

"Maybe I was naïve too," said Melodie.
Screech burst into tears. "Maybe when I do change, when I can stop myself from hurting ponies, we can date again?"

Melodie forced a pained smile. "Of course. I love you."

Screech hugged her ex-mare-friend. "I love you too."