Adventures Are No Fun.

Screech sat by the front door frame staring intently at the white ground just outside.

Melodie sat at her bed playing FreeCell with the nude playing cards.

Screech had not moved in three hours. Her ears twitched at every sound. Every passing second drover her closer to madness. She was ready to explode.

Second Dual landed in front of where the front door used to be. "What happened to the door?"

Screech waved a hoof. "The police tried to... I don't know what they were trying to do. That is not important. We need to have a talk."

"I don't want to talk," said Second. "If I did want to talk I would not have come here."

"This is important. Listen... ... How do I say this? Okay. Our great, great, great ect. grandmother raised an army. I was supposed to kiss Celestia. The rest of my family was supposed to kill the Wonderbolts and the royal guards. There were dozens of us. We have... a certain... characteristic that promotes higher birth rates. Multiple births at once were not desirable. Frequent births allowed for more genetic fine tuning. Our papa passed this characteristic onto us. You have no idea what I am saying do you?"

"You were saying your family sucks."

Screech nodded. "I was saying... our family... you... you were bred to have sensitive genitals. Sex feels different for you than it does most other ponies. Sex feels good, but you should not have sex all the time or with just anypony. A lot of harm could fall on you if you did. My mother raised me to be aware of this. Did you know this?"

"What?" asked Second very quietly. "I know what sex is."

"That is not enough. You need to know a lot more than that."

"I am not talking to you about this," stated Second.

"I know about the stallion who is... Listen I want to protect you." Screech fought to keep her voice from cracking. Tears built up in her eyes. "I know you think sex is fun and feels good but he is causing you serious harm."

"You don't know him!" Exploded Second. "I do. You don't know how he makes me feel. You foreigners can't understand our love. You are jealous of pegasi and our superiority."

Screech took a deep breath. "Second, I am a preditor. I will find him. When I do I can't promise he will survive. You will thank me one day."

Second spit at Screech and flew to his room.

Melodie trotted to Screeche's side. "He will thank you," she assured. She placed a warm hoof on her friend's shoulder.

Screech nodded. Tears rolled down her face. She felt hollow. She felt like hurting somepony. She weak and scared.

Screech sat in her closet. She held a crayon in her hoof and stared at a blank piece of paper. She needed to train for the rodeo. Most of the events would require flying so she needed to do extra well on the events she could compeat in. Tomorrow the ponies would let her back in the park.

"Hey Secreech," yelled Razzle with a big smile. "What are you coloring?"

Screech took a deep breath. "I don't know."

Razzle nodded. "Want to come over to my house? I can teach you some cheers."

"No. I want to sit here and yell at Dr. Red for not fixing me."

"I can get you a new wing," offered Razzle with a smile.

"Wrong doctor," sighed Screech.

Razzle walked into the closet and sat on the floor.

"You don't have to go home and practice your cheers?" asked Screech curtly.

"No." Razzle did not pick up the hint.

"None of your other friends are available right now."

Razzle looked at the floor. "No all of my other friends are busy. They are not busy doing things without me. They are... anyway. We should do something together."

"I don't want to talk right now," stated Screech. "Melodie broke up with me."

"That is great!" Razzle enthused. "You can join the cheer team now."

"It is not great!" Snapped Screech. Her heart sank when her friend flinched. "I love her!" she said softly.

"You can love cheer now," said Razzle cautiously.

Screech opened her mouth but she didn't say a word. Razzle was being earnest. Despite being horrible at it her friend was trying to help. "I am going to be in Equestria Daily tomorrow."

"That is nice. I think Neon is like you. It is hard to tell. She doesn't talk about colts as much as the others and when she does she seems sad about it."

Screech sighed. "I don't want a new mare-friend. I do want to talk about anything else."

"Oh. What is Equestria Daily?"

"Damn it!" yelled Screech.

"Sit down," said Screech with a smile. All of the mares at Glitter's friends house gave her blank stares. They were not mad or confused. They were mostly indifferent. "Mares I need you to do my little brother a favor." She pointed to Success who sat on the floor. "I need you to teach him about sex."

"He is too young," yelled Glitter.

"How old was Second when he started 'dating' his...?"

Glitter sighed. She took a deep drink of her beer. "Okay. First thing you need to know. You are too young to have sex."

Melodie sat in Razzle's kitchen. She played Forty Thieves with the nude playing cards. She cuddled her Screech plushy as she sat at the kitchen island.

"Are you okay?" asked Razzle.

Melodie hissed.

"That is a no, right?"

Melodie sighed. "No I am not okay. Screech is going through a really hard time and I want to help her, but I can't support her violent behavior. How do I comfort her without letting her think hurting ponies is okay?"

Razzle smiled. "Good. I bought you a cupcake to make you feel better."

Screech ran around the mansion pulling a bale of hay behind herself. Her training for the rodeo was not as intense as it was when she lived in Canterlot.

"Good!" exploded Melodie.

Razzle shrank. "I wanted to do something nice for you."

Melodie glared at the earth pony. "You can be quiet." She whispered, "Do you see any moves?" to her Screech plushy. "Neither do I."

Razzle sat quietly.

Melodie groaned. "I am sorry. I am not mad at you."

Razzle smiled. "So you will eat the cupcake when the mare who washes the floors comes back with it?"

"You don't know her name?"

"How many of your friends are forty?"

"You don't have to be friends to know her name."

Razzle slammed a hoof on the counter. "You can do this at Glitter's house."

"Screeche's... family does not like me," confided Melodie. "I don't feel comfortable being there when she is not around."

"I can imagine why they don't like you. You are not nice."

Melodie chuckled. "I guess I am not." She flipped a card. "Are you mad at me?"

"Yes." Razzle crossed her hooves over her chest. "You are making me sound like a bad pony."

Melodie flipped another card.

Shine entered the kitchen with two cupcakes. The dark purple mare placed the cakes on the island. "Need anything else?"

Razzle looked at the floor washing mare. "What is your name again?"

"Shine Finish." The mare smiled with pride.

"Thank you miss Finish."

Shine nodded and left the room.

Razzle looked to Melodie for approval.

Melodie rolled her eyes. "Fine. I will eat the cupcake." She bit the sugary confection. "Does it have grass in it? It is good."

Razzle smiled. "Yes it does. Rosy pony."

Screech trotted across Razzle's kitchen. Her mane wet with sweat. Soap from her hasty bath formed bubbles on her coat. She sat beside Melodie and placed a small orange pumpkin on the island.

Melodie sat staring at a glass of water. She held a silly straw between her lips and gently exhaled. Bubbles rose to the top of the water.

"Melodie," said Screech softly. "I am sorry. I know I hurt you when I attacked the police officers. I feel horrible about the whole ordeal. I want to thank you. You warned me. You tried to stop me. I should have listened. I am lucky to have you as a friend. Thank you for doing what is best for me even when it is hard."

Melodie exhaled into the straw.

"I got you a thank you gift." Screech nudged the pumpkin closer to her friend.

Melodie looked at the pumpkin. "You got me a hat!" She beamed with joy.

"That is a pumpkin," said Screech with clear confusion in her voice.

"You got me a pummin." Melodie placed the pumpkin on her head. "Pummin. Pummin. That is a funny word." She smiled at Screech. "I love you." She returned her attention to the straw.

"I love you too." Screech smiled. Her heart broke a little but she barley noticed. She was too happy to be hurt. "Are you feeling okay? Where is Razzle?"

"I lied."

Screech winced. "What!" She could barely breath.

"I want to kiss you badly. I want to kiss you everywhere. I want to kiss your dirty hooves. I want to kiss your lips. I want to kiss your vagina. I wan-"

Screech put a hoof over Melodie's mouth. Her face burned red and she had to take deep breath to keep from fainting. She could feel her heart beat in her ears. "That is enough. I get the picture."

Melodie kissed Screeche's hoof. "Biting is fun, but kissing would be fun too."

Screech nodded. "I know. I will talk to Dr. Red about it when I get back home."

Melodie picked up her Screech plushy and peppered it with kisses.

Screech fought back a hiss of jealousy.
Razzle trotted into the kitchen with gold and blue pompoms on her back. "I am glad you are here. I have enough for all three of us."

"Is Melodie okay?"

"Yeah she is fine. She is just high. I gave her some rosy pony."

Melodie smiled. "Screech got me a pummin. Her name is Hat. Puuuummmmmmiiiiiinnnnn."

Razzle handed Melodie a pair of pompoms.

"Are you playing with us?" asked Melodie with big hopeful eyes.

Screech nodded. "Of course I am."

Melodie waved her pompoms excitedly.

Melodie, not being able to access her common sense, wanted to go to Platinum Park. She teared up until Screech, who lost her common sense at the sight of Melodie's sad face, offered to take her to Wonderbolt Park.

As Screech set hoof in Wonderbolt Park she hoped no pony was waiting to throw paint at her. She doubted she would be so lucky. There was not a green ascot in sight. "The ponies of Cloudsdale kind of suck," thought Screech out loud. "It has only been ten hours."

Melodie held Hat to her head with one hoof. "We should build a slide. I want to slide."

"Okay lets look for thing we can use to build a slide," said Screech. She leaned toward Razzle and whispered, "How much rosy pony did you give her?"

"I don't know. A muffins worth."

"You don't know?" Screech hissed. "Keep a close eye on her. I need to build a slide."

"What is this?" scolded Gauntlet. "You told me it would be a giant scary monster that would kill that evil foreigner."

"Yeeaaaahhh... I think I did the spell wrong," said Rag Clay.

Screech saw Gauntlet (the pony she rightfully stole the falcon from) yelling at a much smaller unicorn. She wanted to step in, but given her recent behavior decided it would be safer for every pony if she turned a blind eye.

An abomination of flesh and bones wriggled on the ground screaming in pain. It had a loose form like slime. Its bones didn't stay in one place. Its limbs grew and shriveled like weeds. It had six heads one minute and none the next. The air around it reeked of smoke.

Screech hissed. She didn't have any luck since stepping hoof in Cloudsdale. She ran up to the two colts. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," yelled Gauntlet.

"We were trying to make a monster," admitted Rags. "I think I did the spell wrong."

Screech looked at the writhing puddle of flesh. "How is it alive?"

"It is part phoenix," guessed Gauntlet.

Screech looked closely and saw a scorpion tail, a falcon talon, a cats paw. "These are the animals from the shelter!"

Rags nodded.

Screech though hard about what to do. "Can you reverse the spell?"

"No. Maybe if I did it right, but I can't reverse a botched spell without knowing why it went wrong."

Screech stomped. She ran in circles around the dying animal. The pained screaming was making her head spin. She grabbed the mass in her teeth and bit down. Her heart broke but it had to be done.

The animal went quiet. The three ponies stared at the dead animal. It started writhing after a few moments.

Screech noticed a little piece of cloth between to puss filled bulbs of flesh as she wiped a tear from her eye. "Did you take the collars off before performed the spell?"

"No. They were sewn on."

"They were magic too! They interfered with your spell." Screech bit the flesh blob tearing chunks of it out with her fangs. Blood flowed down her chest. The animal screamed even louder and tried to wriggle away. She kept tearing it apart. After six long minutes all of the collars were on the clouds at the bad pony's hooves. "Cast the spell again."

Rags nodded. His horn glowed and the blob of flesh reformed into a bigger blob of flesh. It was not pretty, but it was more stable than before.

Screech stared down at the poor little animal. "Pegasus, buck a hole in the clouds."

"What?" exclaimed Gauntlet.

"Buck a hole in the clouds. I am going to drop the thing out of Cloudsdale."

Gauntlet bucked and bucked until a hole straight through the clouds was in the middle of the park. He dripped with sweat.

Screech picked up the animal and dropped it down the hole.

After falling for a few seconds the animal caught fire. A phoenix with six scorpion tails, four sets of wings, a cat's face on the back of its head and two garden snakes and a cobra as legs burst out of the flames.

Screech took a deep breath. "If you ever use magic on an animal again you are going down this hole." She glared at both colts.
Gauntlet and Rags nodded.

Screech could not let Melodie see her covered in blood even if she did have an excuse. She could not go to Glitter's house for the same reason. She bared her fangs. "Get this blood off me!"

Rags fired a magic beam at the big bat pony that pulled the blood off her coat.

Screech breathed a sigh of relief. She trotted off to find something she could turn into a slide.

Early in the morning Screech lay in her closet thinking of all the fun she had with her friends at the park. Yes those two colts tried to ruin her day, but they failed. Screech heard a low muffled voice come from the dining hall. Her first though was Melodie was crying. She rushed to the other room to comfort her friend.

Screech saw Melodie startling her Screech plushy; pulling a stripped sock off its hoof with her teeth. Her face burned so hot it hurt.

Melodie stared at Screech blushing.

"I love you too." Screech walked back to her closet.

Screech and Melodie sat side by side at breakfast. Melodie had gotten over her earlier embarrassment and teased Screech by letting her know she will not be taking to plushie's place any time soon.

A nice hot breakfast sat on the table. Screech, Melodie, Glitter and Success all ate happily and laughed at the stories of high Melodie's antics.

Second trudged into the kitchen kicking pillows out of his way rather than flying over them. He sat at the still broken table and ate quietly.

Screech smiled at her younger brother. "I have something for you." She offered him a copy of Equestria Daily.

Second stared at the news paper for a second before taking it. "Why?"

"Read the headline."

Second's mouth dropped open. Tears ran down his cheeks. "What did you do to him?"

Screech winced. Her brother's glare felt like knives. She expected him to be relived. "I was running laps around Razzle's house as training for the upcoming rodeo-"

"What did you do to him!" Second screamed so loudly his voice cracked on every word.

"I smelled him flying over head. I followed him forty or fifty miles to a little pumpkin farm on the edge of town. There was a small house with a poor family living inside. He went inside and gave a bag of bits to the family. A small colt Sucesse's age lead him to a bedroom. I jumped through the window."

The news headline read: Local Judge Being Investigated After He Was Found Half Dead In The Bedroom Of A Colt. Colt's Father Claims He Found The Judge Performing A Sexual Act With His Son And Attacked. Family Is Being Moved To Canterlot For Their Protection.

Second calmly picked up a bread knife and slashed his own fore-leg. The dull knife tore through his skin snagging on it and pulling. Blood sprayed onto the table.

Screech didn't even think. She dove across the table and pinned her brother to the floor. Despite being wet with hot blood she felt cold.

"Is he okay?" asked Glitter. She clutched Success in her fore-legs and wept.

Screech nodded. She spit Second's blood into the kitchen sink. She expected her little brother to react well to the news. She never would have guessed he would cut his own leg with a bread knife. "Melodie hypnotized him into falling asleep. She is going to sit with him incase he wakes up."

"Why?" begged Glitter.

Screech sighed. "I don't know." Her stomach churned. She did the right thing. Why did it feel like this was all her fault? Meoldies words rang in her ears. There is another way. This was her fault. She did something wrong. She should not have acted violently. She should have let the judge- She wretched. Her breakfast shot out of her stomach. She heaved. Bile trickled up her throat and past her lips. Her nostrils burned as vomit leaked out of them. She should have done something differently. She should have... ... ... ... ... It didn't matter. This was all her fault.