Chapters Polyamory is a Surprisingly Effective Solution to the Housing Shortage 2
Twilight stared at herself in the bathroom mirror because she was too afraid to face the conversation going on outside.
“Is seven inches enough?” Pinkie Pie had asked Sunset Shimmer.
“I don’t know. If it’s for all of us, it might be best to just go with the ten inch one.”
Silly thoughts kept darting transcendentally in Twilight’s mind as she brushed her teeth. Maybe Sunset had a new art project, and they’re looking at canvas sizes. Maybe Pinkie wanted to buy a giant candy bar. Or maybe it was the height of a Funko Pop they wanted. But in her heart, Twilight knew it wouldn’t be anything like those. This was not the start to her day that she wanted. But it has been the norm for a while now. With seven young women under a single roof, the extent of their depravity, their debauchery, had no control or filter.
“That’s pretty big, even for me,” Pinkie said. “We’d probably need everyone’s help with it if we got that one.”
Everyone’s help? Twilight ducked her head out of the bathroom. “Ayo! What we talking about out there? Ten inches?”
“Twilight, you’re awake!” Pinkie announced, her eyes glistening with wolfish amusement. “What’s the matter, you think ten inches would be too big? We could get a seven-incher, but I don’t think I’d be satisfied if I didn’t try it.”
Rinsing her mouth and setting down her toothbrush, Twilight walked into the living room. “I don’t even know what I’d do with ten inches,” she said. “It’s too big. Go with seven, for our sake.”
“Don’t be silly, Twilight, no one expects you to handle it alone,” Pinkie replied, waving her caution away. “Sunset and I can definitely help you.”
Twilight’s face reddened. “Help how?”
Just then, out from the bedroom opposite the bath, Rainbow Dash walked out into the hall. Her hair was a knotted mess after another long night with Applejack and Rarity. “It’s too early, Pinkie. What are you talking about?”
“Ordering stuff online,” Sunset said. “What do you think, Rainbow? Is seven inches enough, or should we get ten?”
“Seven?” Rainbow Dash paused, slowly glancing back to Rarity and Applejack’s room. “Not that I’d ever back down from a challenge, but we should keep everyone in mind. Maybe six?”
“They don’t sell six inches,” Sunset said.
“Oh, is that so?” Laughing nervously, Rainbow Dash continued into the kitchen to grab a glass of water. “That’s fine. I can totally handle ten inches, but can I take a look just to make sure?”
“Yeah. Here you go.”
“Woah,” Rainbow said as she saw whatever was on the screen, her eyebrows arching as high as possible. “That’s pretty impressive. Sure, get what makes you happy.”
Was Rainbow bluffing? Twilight pondered. Or had she misjudged the situation? It was hard to tell. This scene was not more unusual than anything else that happened in their house the past year.
It typically went like this: Whenever Applejack or Pinkie Pie would propose a challenge, almost inerrantly Rainbow Dash would snicker and shout back with a ridiculous claim. She was always unwilling to seem the lesser compared to anyone. When they began, Twilight had been curious, especially at Rainbow’s apparently inexhaustible endurance, and included it among her personal studies and observations. But this time, throwing out the prospect of ten inches so casually seemed too carelessly brazen, even for Rainbow.
“What’s with the face?” Pinkie asked her. “You look worried.”
Because I don’t want to be wrong , Twilight thought to herself, but I don’t want to be right, either. If the situation wasn’t what it so obviously sounded like, they’d all think she was a pervert like the rest of them. But what else could it be? Twilight wracked her mind, but it was their fault for putting thoughts like that in her head.
She didn’t use to. Twilight was fine as a passive observer to the carnal release others so desperately craved. It was an infrequent occurrence for her, simply because there were better endeavors to pursue—paths of science and discovery, pure and untainted. And yet, like a middle schooler hearing “that’s what she said” for the first time, she couldn’t get her mind to focus.
“Good morning girls. Is everything alright?” Fluttershy’s voice came from the front door like an angel singing grace. Her return from a late night shift at the zoo was a true stroke of luck. Despite her proclivities, Fluttershy was still a fair and modest lady, and Twilight had full confidence that she would feel the same about Pinkie and Sunset’s conversation.
“How about we ask her? It’s for all of us, isn’t it?”
“Great idea,” Pinkie said. “Hey Flutters. What do you think, is ten inches too big?”
Fluttershy blinked and stood in the doorway stunned.
Yes! Twilight thought. Of course someone as innocent as Fluttershy would be mortified by a sudden question like that. So, it’s not just me .
Fluttershy tilted her head in ponderance. “Just ten? Seems kind of small.”
Twilight’s jaw dropped. She accepted it so easily! “Now hang on a minute! Rainbow might go over the top, but this is too far even for you, Fluttershy!”
Sunset looked over her shoulder. “Huh? You okay? What are you talking about?”
“Am I okay? Me? Just look at what we’re talking about! I don’t even know what to say. We’ve gone too far! Yes, that’s the rub. Even Fluttershy isn’t phased anymore. Can’t you see? We’re sinking further into depravity by the day. It doesn’t matter what size it is—and in fact, most women need external stimulation just as much or maybe even more, so it doesn’t have to be big. A simple five is fine. Six is great! We don’t need to risk ten inches, that’s pain territory! I’m out!”
Twilight’s final words hung in the air as the others gave only silence in response. Slowly, they looked at each other, and finally Sunset spoke up.
“So… you don’t want cheesecake?”
“What?”
She showed Twilight her phone. “Mr. and Mrs. Cake are having a cheesecake sale. What did you think we were talking about?” Twilight felt her face flush with heat, and Sunset simply smiled. “Perv.”
“It’s not my fault. It’s not.” Twilight crumpled onto the sofa and buried her face in her hands, muttering to herself. “I’ve been twisted by all your degeneracy.”
Polyamory is a Surprisingly Effective Solution to the Housing Shortage 2
Twilight Gets a Little Too Obsessed
Background
There are few topics in psychology associated with as much pleasure and anxiety as the orgasm, particularly in that of women. Several attempts have been made to characterize and categorize the causes and qualities of the female orgasm, often highlighting particular aspects or key features of sexual interactions. Previous study data suggest that the female orgasm may help with sperm retention, implying an evolutionary pressure on orgasm-inducing males (Valentina 2016). Adding to the concept of partner selection “neurophenomenological model,” as proposed in the article “Mysteries of Orgasm,” draws focus to rhythmic entrainment of the nervous system, describing rhythms that allow for arousal to surpass critical thresholds as an evolutionary mechanism of selection (Saffron, 2016). From this perspective, “mutual entrainment” is considered to be a neurobiological gauge for quality and compatibility of a partner. While this presents a framework for considering internal and interpersonal nervous entrainment to induce trance-like states, it does not adequately describe the location or anatomical origins of orgasms.
In a review paper titled “The Whole and the Parts,” a different framework presents orgasms as “an integration of sets of sensory inputs, bodily movements, positions, autonomic arousal, and partner-and-context-related cues” (Mist, 2016). The complexity of such a multi-faceted system of inputs provides an interesting perspective on the potential for plasticity and changes to arousal response, and possibly emergent behaviors such as experiences of fluid attraction. Additionally, “Physical versus Imagined Stimulation” has presented fMRI scans of brain activity during real and imagined stimulation and showed significant overlap in activated brain regions, suggesting a neural component to sexual experiences and orgasms in the absence of sensory input (Do, 2015).
To integrate these frameworks and understand how they modulate arousal and sexual climax, I, Twilight Sparkle, had undertaken a study comprising an observational and experimental phase involving myself and my six housemates. We had found ourselves in a novel living situation, and close proximity at nearly all hours of the day made frequent and open sexual interactions convenient for eliminating awkward or negative interpersonal relationships and fostering a deeper sense of community among ourselves. In light of the strong emotional and psychological implications of this arrangement, my study aimed to answer the following questions:
How does the quality and experiences of sexual climax modulate interpersonal relationships, and vice versa?
Why does orgasm intensity vary so broadly, with some having difficulty experiencing a single climax during intercourse while others claim to have many? And is the plasticity of sexual responses able to change this?
How do orgasms contribute to mate choice, if at all. If they do, through what mechanisms do they exert influences?
For this study, 7 adult women between the ages of 22-23 at time of the study’s start provided post-intercourse evaluations for 1,038 separate consensual sexual interactions across 18 months. Most interactions were limited to only 2 participants, however 132 interactions involved more than two participants, and 72 involved at least 1 participant under the influence of alcohol. As a control, each participant was asked to masturbate either by hand or with a device at least ten times in the 18 month period, with a total of 210 individual climaxes being recorded by the study’s end.
Of the 7 women, four identified as being multiorgasmic (Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie) while three did not (Fluttershy, Sunset Shimmer, and myself). Prior to the study’s start, Fluttershy reported having difficulty experiencing orgasms on occasion. Orgasm experiences were measured by threshold time (time required to achieve first orgasm), duration of the orgasm, the presence of multiple orgasms, and overall sexual pleasure. All measurements were reported using a clicker light provided to the subjects, which they could turn on during a climax, except for overall pleasure which was gathered by surveys.
Data reduction analyses using principal component analysis were used to identify 16 variables of interest distributed across five components, which accounted for a significant portion of the variance. K-means clustering revealed four distinct types of orgasms could be parsed out from this group, which could be differentiated by several variables: motivation, sexual history, interest in roleplay, personality similarity, personality disparity, and multiple orgasm characteristics. Data analysis and graphs are recorded in the project file: “Data_TS_personal_donotread_20220309.” Raw quantitative data and participant evaluations are also located in the same folder. The following summaries are of the semi-quantitative observations made throughout the duration of this study.
Observation 1: Differences in Dominant-Submissive Relationships
Throughout the study, Rainbow Dash engaged repeatedly with either Applejack or Rarity as much as fifty percent more than any other interaction, despite the two being romantically involved prior to the study and our housing arrangement. Dubbed as “Rarijack,” they described their initial relationship as “bedroom only dom/sub,” wherein Applejack assumes the role of the dominant (controlling) sexual partner while Rarity is in the obedient role exclusively in the context of sexual activities. However, in the presence of Rainbow Dash, both Applejack and Rarity assumed the dominant role, and it was RD who acted unexpectedly submissive.
Additionally, there appeared to be a dichotomy between the “RariDash” and “AppleDash” interactions. Rainbow Dash reported having a greater number of multiple orgasms with Applejack with shorter threshold times, however longer durations of orgasms with Rarity. When asked to rate who provided more intense climaxes and greater overall pleasure, Rainbow Dash reported Rarity was often more successful, however she expressed no particular preference between either partner, suggesting an alternate non-sexual motivation for interactions with Applejack.
Interestingly, while the dom/sub relationship of AppleDash did not persist outside the bedroom, the RariDash relationship seemed to expand to a more encompassing role. Prior to the study, Rainbow Dash had been the most reluctant to perform house chores such as cooking, cleaning, laundry, or washing dishes. Gradually, Rarity appeared to exert some influence on her behavior, demanding she behave like a “good girl” in return for a later reward. Furthermore, halfway through the study, Rainbow Dash stopped submitting masturbation results, citing that she “wasn’t given permission by Rarity” to climax alone. When asked about it in a post-study review, Rainbow Dash expressed her belief that it was this behavior that contributed to a significant increase in over pleasure. She stated:
“You know, I was pretty stubborn about it at first. I mean, I work out so much more than Rarity, I just couldn’t imagine not being in control. Because with Applejack, it really is about which one of us is winning, and it’s just not fair because she usually gets control since she’s bigger. But with Rarity, I know she’s doing it for me. Like, how do I say it, she puts so much work into being organized and making plans for our nights that I just don’t know how to say no to her. It’s just too hot.”
Observation 2: Roleplay as Context-Dependent Arousal Cues
Several interactions in this study involved “roleplay” as an erotic element. While there are broad definitions to what constitutes roleplay, from playful and makeshift to fully realized scripts with costumes and supporting actors, for the purpose of this study, roleplay was defined as “a fictitious scenario in which both participants wear costumes to fulfill predetermined roles.” Participants were free to have scripted or impromptu interactions.
Unsurprisingly, as the supplier of the majority of the props and costumes used during the study, Pinkie Pie was involved in 57% of all roleplay interactions. Distinguishing the impact of variables on arousal and orgasm quality proved difficult with Pinkie Pie, however, as her hyperactivity and fun-loving personality caused all her experiences to be homogeneously positive. Clustering algorithms were unable to distinguish more than a single group.
The second most involved participant in roleplay was Fluttershy, who was present in 32% of all roleplay scenarios. These scenarios constituted 82% of Fluttershy’s total sexual interactions during the study. The first interest was to see whether this preference was related to her occasional difficulty to experience orgasms. Although Fluttershy was able to achieve a full climax in all non-roleplay interactions, the threshold time was about two log2 fold changes greater as compared to roleplay. Supporting this, in her post-sex evaluations, Fluttershy consistently reported greater overall pleasure when participating in roleplay.
To further differentiate how the types of roleplay affect her experience, a separate k-means clustering algorithm was performed on Fluttershy’s dataset alone, which identified 4 distinct groups. By mapping each interaction to the data points, these groups could be described as: Fictional with Even Power, Fictional with Uneven Power, Realistic with Even Power, and Realistic with Uneven Power.
Fictional vs Real in this sense refers to whether the roles in the interaction are based on fictional characters/archetypes (ie: witch, magician, cyborg, elf, monster) or modern real-world roles (ie: nurse, police officer, firefighter, maid). Although Fluttershy identified none of her sexual interactions as having a dom/sub component, as she reported being “too intimidated” by the idea of domination to have pleasure, some roles, whether fictional or real, had power dynamics inherent to them, such as “nurse vs patient,” or “demon vs sacrifice,” while other roles were more equal, such as “spy versus assassin.” Between these four groups, orgasms with the shortest threshold time and longest duration were found in the Fictional with Even Power group, while Realistic with Uneven Power had orgasms with the longest threshold times and shortest duration. All of Fluttershy’s experiences were reported as mono-orgasmic. All participants interacted with Fluttershy in at least one roleplay scenario, however no preference in partner was reported.
In her post-study evaluation and interview, Fluttershy described non-roleplay interactions as “mortifying.” She said, “I feel like there’s an expectation for me to perform even when it’s just plain s-se… intercourse. Like I’m on stage but I don’t know the script. I get so worked up that I forget to enjoy myself. But when I do roleplay it gets easier because I know what those characters are supposed to be like, and the expectations are laid out beforehand.”
When asked if she was disappointed in not having a multi-orgasmic experience, she responded, “I don’t feel happy or sad about it, though I suppose I’m still a little curious. Rainbow Dash is always telling me how awesome it feels, and she tries the most to help me experience it, but after the first one I’m just too sensitive and I get a little scared that Rainbow’s going to get carried away. If it happens one day naturally, that would be fun, but I’m not going to go out of my way to force it.”
Observation 3: Psychology and the Impact of Threshold Time
Across all participants, availability and flexibility of time seemed to have a markedly high impact on reported pleasure when threshold time is short. Key examples of this are the differences between Sunset Shimmer and Rarity’s experiences.
Having come from another world, Sunset previously had very few identifying documents and personal history in our world, which resulted in past difficulty with opening bank accounts and applying to university. Because of this, she had developed a moderately successful career playing video games and making digital art on streaming and video sharing platforms. Though now able to pass as a person who wasn’t spat into this dimension by a supernatural portal, her online presence remains her primary job, which allows for extreme flexibility and availability in her schedule.
During the study, Sunset reported preferring orgasms with short threshold times, as it “allowed her to make use of the free time in between video recordings.” This flexible schedule seemed to contribute to partner selection as well, which she claimed was done by “just grabbing whoever was available in the house at the time.” 65% of all her sexual experiences with a partner and 100% of her individual masturbations were performed with some form of a vibrator device “on the highest possible setting.” Despite this, orgasm duration did not vary significantly between threshold times, which is consistent with Sunset’s self-reported evaluation that “It all feels about the same for me, so I figured I might as well do it quickly. If the quality is the same, then increase the quantity.”
In contrast, Rarity, who has a typical work day from eight to five at a fashion design company, repeatedly complained about being tired and having less free time. She reported valuing long orgasm threshold times caused by “edging” and “orgasm denial.” These artificially extended times are not caused by reduced arousal or an inability to reach sexual climax, but rather were employed as techniques to increase sensitivity and enhance pleasure. As such, although Rarity’s data reports many data points with long thresholds, or sexual interactions that do not result in any climax at all, she ranked those as being more fulfilling and pleasurable. This is supported by a bimodal distribution of orgasm durations, in which long, intense orgasms lasting 40 to 70 seconds are expressed exclusively during interactions that involve paced, pulsatile vibrations spaced apart by 5-10 seconds of non-contact while direct, continuous stimulation at high frequency result mainly in brief transient orgasms.
In her post-study interview, Rarity stated, “I really don’t see the point in just ‘getting it over with’ and going about my day. Call me dramatic, but I have to make a production out of it. In the past, if Applejack was too busy, I’d find myself seeking a little bit of release, and it just wasn’t the same as being slowly led. But now that we’re doing this bizarre project of yours, I can usually find someone to help me out. I feel almost numb to the idea of a straightforward rendezvous with the magic wand, if you catch my meaning.”
The difference between these two may be due to their personal preferences, physiology, and sexual background. There is also the uncontrolled variable of hormonal contraceptives (HC) for regulating menstrual cycles, which Rarity takes but Sunset does not. The use of HCs has been associated with “decrease of circulating androgen, estradiol, and progesterone levels, as well as for the inhibition of oxytocin in some women,” although the true effects have yet to be firmly concluded as there has been contradictory research (Meadowbrook, 2019). Even so, these hormones are involved in pair-bonding behavior, pain and pleasure sensitivity, and neural response to stimulation, causing it to be a confounding factor when trying to determine how threshold time impacts sexual climax and pleasure.
Despite these differences, it should be noted that the two women have similar descriptions, orgasm durations, and threshold times during control masturbation. Both reportedly used their vibrator devices at the highest setting. And although the Rarity and Sunset use vibrators of different designs from different companies, the maximum settings for both have comparable intensities, at 130 and 140 Hz respectively. As a result, it may be the case that stress factors, availability, and the psychology of value-based choices may influence each woman’s perception of the better sexual experience, reinforcing their own sense of pleasure and gratification.
Observation 4: Position, Contact, Novelty, and Intimacy
Within the myriad of sexual positions and interactions, there are several methods employed by partners who do not wish for direct physical contact while still desiring intimacy. These can be to prevent pregnancy, the spread of STIs, or just as a new experience to share.
To capture the diversity of sex acts, participants were asked to try as many new positions or interactions as they felt comfortable. These included mutual masturbation (MM), guided masturbation, remote stimulation, BDSM, electroshock, and skin contact only—lips, ears, neck, breasts and nipples, back and spine, wrists, feet, and axilla/underarm—stimulated by touch or tickling.
I noted that after the first introduction of mutual masturbation, in which both partners have no physical contact but are present and in view of each other during stimulation, it became almost as common as any other form of interaction for Fluttershy’s interactions involving any other participant. It was reportedly the least favorite for Pinkie Pie. Remote stimulation, in which a vibrator is remotely controlled by the recipient’s partner, usually through a phone app, also became a common occurrence for RariDash interactions. Due to her sexual activity, Applejack was already familiar with BDSM as a dom, but expressed intense interests and amusement at the use of electroshock on both Rainbow Dash and Rarity. Conversely, Sunset found electroshock uncomfortable but reported gaining a curiosity in BDSM methods as both a recipient and provider. Towards the end of the study, there was a marked increase in interactions between Sunset Shimmer and Applejack.
Interestingly, partner selection during MM for most participants deviated from the selection typically observed in other interactions. For instance, while Fluttershy was generally avoidant of hyperactive-types like Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie throughout the first four months of the study, after trying MM, FlutterDash pairings not only increased, but overtook less active pairings, including RariShy or Fluttershy and myself (FlutterTwi). Data also shows that those interactions produced greater orgasm durations for Fluttershy. While masturbation is typically conceived as an independent and intrapersonal sex act, partner coupling and partner complementarity appear to have an impact on initiation, selection, and pleasure perception.
Although these new methods eventually became saturated and occurred almost as frequently as typical clitorial/vaginal stimulation, participants frequently discussed or shared their first encounter more than any other time, and these stories coincided with prolonged orgasm durations and shorter threshold times, with the exception of skin contact only, which either did not elicit orgasmic experiences or had a threshold time several log2 fold changes longers than the average. This indicates that the sensation of novel sexual experience may be excitatory and have a perceptual impact on pleasure.
Observation 5: Unusual and Outlying Events
Though excluded from the data analysis, a few peculiar events need to be mentioned as they bring up areas unexplored by this study. As previously mentioned, some interactions in this study included more than 2 participants, but in one unusual case, all members of this study were involved for an uncharacteristically long time period.
This occurred early in the study, when Rainbow Dash’s experience as a sub to Rarity was still unfamiliar. After repeated disobedience and failing to complete the house chores assigned to her, Rainbow Dash was “ordered” (with consent) to be the centerpiece of a group sex activity as punishment. RD was restrained to a bed in a BDSM-like manner and stimulated to orgasm by all other participants, each rotating out after a climax had been achieved. This cycle persisted for 4 hours until finally Rainbow apologized for never doing her chores and agreed to be obedient to Rarity from then onward.
I had predicted an exponential decrease in threshold times due to heightened sensitivity after repeated stimulation as well as a decrease in orgasm duration due to exhaustion. And while this was broadly true, there was a greater amount of person-to-person variation than expected. Even when comparing stimulation within each pairing, over time, Rainbow Dash appeared to recover and increase her threshold time. However, since it’s her, it’s impossible to tell whether that is common for prolonged overstimulation or whether it is simply due to her stubborn personality and fitness.
Secondly, and more interestingly, there was one instance of transient global amnesia (TGA). TGA is described as “a sudden onset of anterograde and retrograde amnesia.” For privacy, the participant in question will only be referred to as “the patient.” In this case, it occurred suddenly when the patient was found with mental confusion and memory loss about two hours after engaging in sexual activity with Sunset Shimmer. There was no observable head injury, weakness in the limbs, vision change, chest pain, vomiting, shortness of breath, or any other physical complaints. After about another hour, the confusion and behavior changes appeared too uncharacteristic and the patient was driven to the hospital. As an emergency contact, the patient had given permission for medical information to be disclosed to me.
Non-contrast computed tomography (CT) scan was performed at the hospital and showed no intracranial pathology, though magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) brain scan was performed 10 hours after the episode and revealed a punctate focus of restricted diffusion in the anterior right temporal lobe. Aside from high LDL and A1c, the patient’s blood and urine screens were unremarkable at the time of admission. At sixteen hours, electroencephalography showed no seizure or focal slowing. After thirty-six hours, the patient was alert to person, place, and time and was discharged. The patient followed up three months, five months, and nine months after her hospital admission. With each visit, her cognitive (basic orientation, reasoning, and language) and neurological exams were normal. Or, as normal as she could reasonably be. MRI at nine months showed resolution of the punctate focus of restricted diffusion without any other abnormalities. It was at this time the physicians at the hospital described the incident to likely be TGA.
After further literature review, it appears that TGA can occur among people who are typically healthy and do not have any comorbidities, risk factors, or triggering factors. It is uncommon, and its causes are not well known. Though otherwise healthy, the patient was carefully monitored for the remainder of the study. However, concern from Sunset Shimmer and a deep sense of responsibility appeared to reduce her interest in sexual activity for roughly two months after the episode.
Personal observations and final remarks
Initially, I had intended to remain unbiased and impartial in my analysis, however, to expand the sample size, I had to include myself in this personal investigation. Prior to this study I had engaged in sexual acts very rarely despite the polyamorous arrangement within our house. For the sake of consistency, I kept my interactions with each participant equal (30 interactions each across 18 months). From my own recollection and according to the data, I had an overall increase in receptiveness towards erotic sensation. The use of several devices allowed for greater flexibility and control over orgasm timing and intensity, with more complicated setups (harnesses, collars, restraints) eliciting the excitement of exploration and improved comfort when attempting anatomically challenging positions. Though never engaging in the dom/sub relationship that Rarity had, I explored a deeper understanding of foreplay and sensation through her knowledge of aromatic candles, mood lighting, and massage therapy.
As a whole, this private investigation demonstrates the ways in which orgasm and arousal both powerfully shapes behavior and perception, and is itself shaped by a complex system of contexts and personal preferences. Despite the small sample size, this study has explored a diverse set of personalities and sexual backgrounds, which may hopefully stimulate further understanding of sexual health and wellness in both traditional and nontraditional relationships.
Polyamory is a Surprisingly Effective Solution to the Housing Shortage 2
Sunset Shimmer's Birthday
The living room was deathly still, yet vibrant. Streamers in vibrant shades of blue, green, and yellow hung from the ceiling, twisting together in cheerful spirals. A banner stretched across the room, proudly declaring "Happy Birthday!" in bold, colorful letters. The coffee table, usually home to magazines and a stray remote, was now covered with an assortment of snacks: bowls of chips, trays of finger sandwiches, and a punch bowl filled with sangria.
In the corner of the kitchen, Pinkie huddled by herself behind two dozen balloons, giggling excitedly to herself as she made last-minute adjustments. She carefully positioned a mini party hat on top of Sunset’s pet lizard’s head, who sat patiently under its heated lamp. Then she hurriedly lit the candles on the cake—a decadent chocolate masterpiece with "Happy 27th, Shimmy!" scrawled in icing across the top.
The house was filled with a quiet tension, the lights were dimmed, and a hush fell over the room so quiet Pinkie could hear Fluttershy playing Animal Crossing in her bedroom. Finally, the sound of a car pulling into the driveway broke the silence. Pinkie held her breath as the front door creaked open.
Sunset Shimmer stepped inside, fumbling with her keys as she froze and stared at the living room. “Oh Pinkie, not again.”
It was too late. Pinkie pounced from the kitchen shooting confetti everywhere with party poppers. “Happy happy birthday, to you from me Pinkie! Happy happy birthday even if it’s a mystery!”
“For the last time, Pinkie, I don’t have a birthday. Not from here, remember? Very not from here.”
As the confetti settled and Pinkie’s cheerful anthem faded into giggles, Sunset slipped off her shoes and dropped her backpack by the door. Her mind was already on the promise of a warm shower after two days at CanterlotCon. She gave Pinkie a quick, grateful hug before making her way down the hallway. The bathroom was a haven of quiet, its serenity a welcome contrast from a weekend of convention chaos and whatever the hell Pinkie was doing. Sunset turned on the faucet and let the water heat up, the gentle hiss a soothing backdrop to her thoughts. As she undressed, she glimpsed at herself in the mirror.
A weekend of cheese pizzas and milkshakes was not doing her belly any favors. She considered if she should start jogging with Rainbow Dash again.
Once the steam began to rise, she stepped into the shower, the warmth enveloping her like a cocoon. Sunset let out a deep sigh as the hot water cascaded over her, its embrace soothing the aches in her muscles and the weariness in her soul. She leaned against the cool tiles, closing her eyes and letting the water wash away the residual stress of the day. She lathered herself up with soap and then simply stood there, eyes closed, letting the water do its work. The day’s struggles began to wash away, swirling down the drain along with the remnants of shampoo and bodywash.
Suddenly, a loud, cheerful voice pierced through the steam-filled air. “Are you sure you don’t want to celebrate anyway?”
Sunset’s eyes shot open, her heart skipping a beat as she turned towards the source of the voice. Pinkie Pie, impossibly cheerful and clad in a party hat and a bright smile, stood just outside the shower curtain, her face pressed against it with an expression of playful mischief.
The curtain, barely containing the steam, rustled as Pinkie poked her head in, her puffy hair straightening out as it got soaked. “Everyone deserves a day just for themselves, even if you don’t know which day aligns with the human calendar.” Pinkie smiled warmly, holding up a waterproof party hat.
Sunset’s mouth dropped open in a mixture of surprise and exasperation. “Pinkie… Why are you—can you just—” She bit her knuckle, trying to figure out what she wanted to say first. Sunset took a deep breath. “I am tired . Can we please talk about this when I’m not, you know, butt-ass naked?”
Pinkie’s eyes scanned her up and down, tracing the edge of her waist and hips, and simply shrugged. “Nothing I haven’t seen before. But fine, you asked for it. Don’t complain when I eat the first slice of cake!”
Sunset made a shocked look of disappointment as Pinkie left. “Aw what? No one said my cake was on the line.”
Sunset Shimmer looked over Twilight’s shoulder at her computer screen, a small GPS overlaid with an algorithm for detecting and predicting magical anomalies. The map was no different from any satellite view, with familiar roads, buildings, and parks of the city, but what caught their attention was the alert pings and sinusoidal fluctuations displayed in the corner of the screen.
Sunset Shimmer leaned closer, her fiery red and gold hair brushing against Twilight's shoulder as she squinted at the screen. “It can’t be another one," she said, her voice tinged with annoyance. "I didn’t think I’d spend the rest of my life cleaning up Equestria messes. Starlight seriously needs to figure out how to keep a lid on magic between the worlds."
“You sure you wanna go? The museum’s not far from Rainbow’s gym, and she’s always looking for action anyways. She can cover you.”
“Nah, she’s got a thing with Applejack and Rarity tonight. They’ve been teasing her for weeks now, I’m pretty sure she needs it. I’ll just handle it. We’ve been doing this since high school.”
“Nope, nope, nope!” Pinkie declared from the kitchen, marching into Twilight’s room with determined steps that far outpaced her usual bouncy gait. “You can’t go on a magic mission on your birthday, Sunset Shimmer!”
Sunset blinked, momentarily speechless. “Pinkie, it’s not—”
“I say nay!” Pinkie interrupted. She then grabbed Sunset by the shoulders, her blue eyes sparkling with an intensity that left no room for argument. “Today is your special day! You’re supposed to be eating cake, opening presents, and partying with your bestest friends—not chasing after some spooky magic thingy-ma-bob!”
Twilight followed them out to the living room where a vanilla raspberry cake at least four or five layers high, threatening to topple over from the weight of fruit, frosting, and sprinkles, awaited them on the coffee table. “I didn’t know it was your birthday, Sunset.” Twilight paused, nervously biting her nail. “Should I have gotten you something? I didn’t know you were celebrating, or I totally would have gone shopping. I know, I could get you an Amazon gift card!”
“Don’t,” Sunset sighed. “Pinkie, it wasn’t my birthday yesterday, and it’s not my birthday today. How in the hell did you make another cake in a day?”
“Dark magic and blood pacts, sister,” Pinkie said proudly. “Don’t underestimate how many demons you can summon with virgin’s blood.”
“Be serious,” Sunset groaned.
Twilight nodded. “Even if that were true, whose blood would you use? Pretty sure we don’t qualify.”
“Okay fine, “ Pinkie admitted. “I used Quick-Bake mix.”
“But you hate Quick-Bake,” Sunset said.
“I know!” Pinkie said, pulling her hair. “I wanted to dieeee! But I chose to live because you, mi amiga , have yet to celebrate your birthday with your friends.”
“We don’t have time for this.” Sunset grabbed her keys and stormed out the door. “It’s not my birthday but I still want that cake when I get back!”
The grand halls of the Canterlot Art Museum were eerily quiet, save for the soft echo of footsteps as Sunset Shimmer and Pinkie Pie made their way through the dim galleries. It was already dark by the time they arrived, and the art museum’s paintings and sculptures took on an eerie visage. Paintings of every style and era adorned the walls, and sculptures stood sentinel in the corners, their stone faces casting long shadows under the muted overhead lights.
Sunset scanned the artworks, behind cabinets, around statues, searching for anything that could serve as conduit for Equestrian magic that had somehow found its way into the museum's collection. Twilight’s detection device pinged quietly, but until they took readings from around the building, she wouldn’t be able to triangulate a precise position.
“I can’t believe the security guard just let you walk in,” Pinkie said as she trailed behind Sunset, hand on her shoulder.”What did you tell him?”
“I threatened to email the museum accusing him of downloading hundreds of gigs of porn onto the work computer.”
“How’d you know he did?”
“Magic.” Sunset smiled and twirled her necklace in her fingers, the gemstone shimmering with an ethereal glow, its surface appearing almost liquid as it caught the dim museum lights. The color was a deep, fiery amber, with flecks of gold that seemed to dance within the stone, as if tiny flames were eternally flickering just beneath its surface.
“Oooh, right,” Pinkie said. “Speaking of thoughts, wanna read mine? Maybe I can convince you why it’d be great to celebrate your fake birthday.”
“I know why birthdays are fun, Pinkie,” Sunset sighed, “I just don’t like mine. Can’t you leave it alone?” Then she paused, stopping in her tracks so suddenly that Pinkie bumped into her.
“Sorry!” Pinkie whispered.
“Why are you whispering? The guard let us in.”
Pinkie giggled. “Oh, yeah. So, did you find the magic?”
“Well, it’s not setting off Twilight’s device, but it’s kinda hard to miss.” Sunset turned Pinkie’s face with the palm of her hand. The painting was unlike anything else in the gallery. It hung in an ornate, gilded frame, its edges adorned with delicate carvings of vines and flowers, which seemed to grow and twist as they looked at it.
The canvas itself was a riot of color and light, depicting a scene with a garden and serpent from human religion. A river wound through the scene, its surface sparkling with the reflections of a setting sun that hung low on the horizon, casting long, golden rays across the land. It seemed to come alive more than it should have. Sunset used the light from her phone and the oil paints shimmered like the morning sun on fresh dew drops. The colors didn’t just sit on the canvas; they shimmered and shifted, as if the scene was in motion. Serpent undulated, almost imperceptibly, its tongue flicking at the ear of a naked Eve.
“It’s not the main source of the magic, but it looks like it was enchanted,” Sunset said, extending her palm and opening Twilight’s locket. Slowly, the life in the painting faded, faint wisps of magic seeping into the containment device.
“Okay, so that’s one super-magical glowy painting down,” Pinkie said, her voice bright but hushed as she peeked into the next gallery. “How many more do you think there are? I wanna get back to that cake.”
Sunset ignored her for a moment, her expression remained thoughtful as she scanned the room. “I’m not sure, Pinkie. If the magic infected someone or something during daytime hours, they probably walked through a lot of exhibits. I just hope they didn’t spread enough magic around to do any real damage.”
Pinkie nodded vigorously, her curls bouncing with every step. “So, why don’t you like your birthday?”
“It’s not that I don’t appreciate the effort, Pinkie,” Sunset began, choosing her words carefully. One could never know if something was going to set her off. “But it’s not a big deal. It’s just a day.”
Pinkie’s expression softened, and she slowed her pace to walk beside Sunset more closely. “Is it because it reminds you of how you left your home and everything you ever knew over a temper tantrum at your princess-slash-teacher? Because you should know that you’re not that person anymore, Sunset. You’ve changed—literally. You’ve grown. You’ve got all of us now, and we love the Sunset you are today.”
“I think we spend a little too much time together,” Sunset said, managing a small smile. “You don’t have to worry about me, Pinkie. I’m already happy. I get paid to play video games, my office is my bedroom, and I live with all my best friends. I don’t need a birthday.”
“But you get to have one,” Pinkie started, though Sunset cut her off with a look. She pointed to an ancient Greek bust from the classical exhibit. The magic wasn’t immediately obvious, more like a soft aura that shimmered around the edges of the marble.
“Look, the long and short of it is that I never bothered to count the days when I first came here,” she said as she cleaned up the magic. “When I even thought about my own birthday, I hadn’t had a celebration for years. I didn’t have anyone to celebrate with, so I just wasn’t used to it. Why are you so hung up on this anyway? You have so many other birthdays to celebrate. Our friends, your family, probably everyone you’ve ever met.”
“Be reasonable, Sunset, even I have limits.”
“Oh, so now you want to be serious?”
Pinkie pouted. “Birthdays are no laughing matter. You say you’re not used to celebrating it, but what about back home? You had parties then, right?”
“Celestia was… busy most of the time. Now that I think about it, she was always planning for when Nightmare Moon would return. She probably worried I’d end up like her sister, which I guess I kind of did, which explains why even if she was a kind mentor, she could still be distant. So no, no parties in Equestria either.”
“Well that’s not a good reason,” Pinkie said. “That’s terrible! After hearing that, how can I not throw you a party?”
They rounded a corner and entered a smaller, more intimate gallery room. The walls were lined with glass cases, each housing a different painted china doll. In the corner of the room, below a decorative bookcase was a Nikon digital camera humming with magic. Sunset reached under and pulled it out.
“Twilight’s locket is going wild,” Pinkie said, taking the device from Sunset’s pocket. “What do you think it did to it?”
Sunset shrugged. “Only one way to find out.” She peeked through the lens and snapped a photo of Pinkie Pie.
“Ah!” she gasped, blinded by the flash.
“Sorry, I didn’t— hold on, that’s strange.”
Pinkie rubbed her eyes, blinking as she adjusted to the darkness again. “What is it?”
“The photo doesn’t look like you. I mean, it is you, but you look tired, and your hair’s frazzled.”
Pinkie leaned in to see for herself. The photo was unmistakably her, unmistakably Pinkie Pie, but was a far cry from the energetic, youthful vibrancy she had, even now. This Pinkie looked exhausted, her usually bright eyes dull and sunken with dark bags. Her hair, which normally had the volume (and smell) of cotton candy, was frazzled and limp, hanging like a tangled mess around her face. Even her signature smile was absent, replaced by a weary, almost haunted expression.
“Wha—?” Pinkie gasped, her voice barely more than a whisper. She took a step back, and looked at herself with her phone. “Woah, that’s freaky! What do you think it means?”
Sunset investigated the camera, looking closer at the other images it had taken. They were all of the painting and the marble bust, but there were people in the corners and margins of some photos, and they also looked off. Mothers were hunched over, almost snarling, looking like withered crones. A few kids who had the look of first year art students—Sunset recognized her kin anywhere—were sweaty, bloodshot bundles of anxiety.
She flipped the camera around and snapped a photo of herself. Surely enough, the Sunset that appeared on the screen was different, though this time it wasn’t too different. Her eye bags were no longer covered up with concealer, and a faint snarl had begun to curl up from the corners of her lips, but it didn’t look too different from the truth.
“I think the magic makes the camera take pictures of how you feel on the inside,” Sunset said, slowly looking at her friend. “Pinkie, are you okay?”
“Oh pfft, don’t be crazy, Shimmy,” Pinkie said, shaking her head vigorously as if she could shake away the unsettling image. “I’m not like that! I’m happy! I’m fun! I’m… I’m Pinkie Pie and I throw the best birthday parties!”
“Okay, but look at all these people in the photos. Tired moms, bored staff, it’s showing what these people are feeling.”
“What about your photo, huh?” Pinkie asked. “You’re not that different.”
“That’s because I’m fine. Sure, I’m a little ticked off that you keep asking about my birthday, but overall, I’m in a good headspace right now.”
“Then I’m fine too, Sunset. I have all my friends with me all the time, how can I not be?”
Sunset gave her a sad smile. “You can still get worked up over other junk, even when things are good. You don’t have to tell me what’s bothering you. I’m just worried that you’re trying to distract yourself by throwing me a party, and that whatever is bothering you is gonna get worse because you’re not dealing with it. So promise me you’ll deal with it, okay?”
Pinkie seemed to deflate, shoulders slouching and her eyes darting between the camera and Sunset. “Okay.” She pouted, her gaze flickering back to the photograph—the image of herself looking so tired felt more like a mirror than a photo. “Should you… do something about that camera?”
Sunset looked at it, pondering how it got here. Why someone had dropped it was obvious. What would anyone do if their camera started taking pictures of things that weren’t there? Freak out, probably. But how the magic came through—and when and why it picked a Nikon of all things—were still a mystery.
“Nah. Seems harmless,” Sunset said. “Wanna take pictures of our friends?”
“You know I do.” Pinkie smiled. “But are you seriously not even going to hint when your birthday is? Even on the pony calendar?”
“You want me to keep asking what’s bothering you?”
“Touché, Shim-shim, touché,” Pinkie chuckled. “But seriously, no.”
