A Dadonequus Christmas

You slowly began to approach the distraught Siren. She was angry, crying, shaking as she hovered over the snow, looking at seemingly nothing. You had to be careful with your approach, as it was obvious she was quite volatile. You prepped your horn, placing it on your forehead and working up a spell you hoped would work and not in no way explode in your face. “Um, hey, Adagio. What’s wrong?”

Adagio quickly looked towards you, furious. “You’re going to ask me that?! You know what’s wrong, you little dweeb!”

Okay, okay, just keep your course. “I mean, do I? You got what you wanted, didn’t you? I personally don’t see the issue.”

“Yeah, yeah, I already know the whole shtick.” Adagio growled. “I made an ironic Christmas wish that blew up in my face. Yeah, I get it, I know. So just laugh at me and go away, I don’t feel like dealing with you right now.”

Hm, okay, that was unexpected. She knows the tropes, at least that's what it looks like so far. “I’m not here to make fun of you, I just want to understand what’s going on. I mean, if this wish was a problem, then why did you say that you could do things on your own? You were kinda treating your bandmates like crap.”

“Are you serious?” Adagio said, with actual disbelief in her voice. “Don’t they teach you little brats anything anymore? I’m a siren, they’re sirens, don’t you know what that means?”

You just shook your head, because you had no idea what that meant.

Adagio sighed, shaking her head at you as her tail swayed and her fins relaxed. “Once sirens come together as a pack, you’re together for life. Got it? We did everything together, we conquered together, we toyed with ponies as if they were nothing, we were unstoppable.”

“...Until you weren’t, Starswirl stopped you. But then, what happened? If what you said is true, then why were you treating them like dirt?” You asked, genuinely wanting to understand.

“Ugh, I’m not going to waste my breath on you. And whatever this psychotherapy thing you’re pulling is? Yeah, no, that doesn’t work on me either. I saw you put on that horn, I know you’re ready to pull another prank on me.” Adagio accused you, it almost seemed like she was just going to fly off to get away from you.

“I’m not, really! I really just wanna understand why and-NGH!” Suddenly Adagio pushed forward towards you, sending you onto your back and into the snow as she hovered close to you, face to face.

“I said be quiet, kid! How could you possibly understand anything?! You’re a stupid colt! You’ll never know what it means to be human, you’ll never understand how horrible it is! You just don’t GET IT!” She shouted towards you.

Your brow furrowed a bit. You suddenly realized what she meant, at least at a certain capacity. In Equestria, she was a hotshot. But considering what you saw in Rainbow Rocks, and seeing how they were now. Yeah, you absolutely understood what it meant to be human. “You’re wrong, you know. I know what it means to be human.”

Adagio seemed very confused for a moment, but ready to explode once more. “Seriously? You’re human for like an hour and you think you get it?”

“An hour? No…” As she moved away from you, you stood up and brushed the snow on you off as you prepped yourself. “This may surprise you, but I was born a human. I was a human, for almost half a regular human’s life, until I ended up in Equestria.”

“What? There’s no way, that’s impossible.” Adagio said, in full doubt of your words.

“Nah, it’s true. I come from an Earth completely disconnected from Equestria. My Earth is actually much much crueler than yours. Trust me, if you were in my world, you’d have been doing very degrading stuff, like, heinous, just to survive.” You explain to her.

“What? But then… What’s the whole thing with Discord?” Adagio asked, slowly becoming curious about your story.

“He brought me into the Equestria he’s from. It isn’t much different than this one. Heck, I think I’m the only thing that makes it different. But, yeah, uh, yeah, he brought me to Equestria. If you’re wondering why. Well, he pretty much wanted to impress his galpal pony and piss Twilight off.” You explain to her, giving off a bit of an embarrassed smile.

Adagio landed onto the ground slowly, perplexed as all hell. “Oh geez, nevermind, you had it worse than I did. Explains why your head is so tough. So many blows.”

Wut? “How so?”

“I mean, forget the fact you were human. You’re Discord’s slave. Makes sense now, actually. I was wondering why he was treating you like fodder. What with the tacos landing on you and he not really even seeming to care, or using his magic while not caring if you’re in the way or not. Even if he is a good guy, he doesn’t seem to have changed much. It kinda puts things in perspective.” Adagio said, as she actually showed empathy for your situation.

WUT?! She thought you were his slave?! Goddamn that was… Well, actually, she wasn’t far off when it came to the start if your relationship with him. As you thought about it, and thought of the next thing you wanted to say, things started to dawn on you about how that all went. “I guess, actually. I want to ask you something. What did being human have to do with Aria and Sonata?”

“What didn’t it have to do with anything, you mean. Being human is rough, especially when you gotta babysit those two. When you’re just a human, nobody notices you, nobody cares. You aren’t this big evil that everyone fears, and you have to work and scratch and scurry like a rat to just feed yourself. Sonata was always kinda being dumb and Aria was complaining all the time, all the planning and scheming was pretty much left to me, in a form that could pretty much do nothing but sing. But…” Adagio let out a sorrowful sigh. “That’s the lesson, huh? That’s why we lost against Sunset and her friends. We were the bad guys who were unwilling to change, and they had friendship on their side. You know, I didn’t even mean for any of this to happen, I thought I could just trick Discord into messing up his magic. He does that sometimes, you know? Even when he was a big evil guy, you either stayed away from him altogether and let him do his thing, or be stupid enough to try to trick him into something. That last part? That was pretty much impossible. But it seemed doable now that he flipped sides. I guess I was wrong. What I said about my friends are wrong. They’re pretty much my sisters, y’know? But after losing so much, I just, I just wanted to get out of there, and I stopped caring about everything else. But as a Siren, I wasn’t going to leave them there…”

…

…

“I think I get what you mean. I… Well, huh, man. Yeah, being an asshole does make things rough. Y’see, when Discord brought me to Equestria, he forced me to play the part of a cute and innocent colt. I did it, but it sucked a lot of the time. There were things I wanted to do, relationships I wanted to make, and I got annoyed with hanging around the other foals. I was selfish, and I took the friends I managed to gain through my facade for granted. And because I was unwilling to change, some managed to figure out I wasn’t an innocent colt, and they started to see me as a bad guy. Even going behind my back or even threatening to seal me up or send me back to earth. Looking back it all now, maybe if I had realized being a better person was the way to go, my human life wouldn’t have sucked too.” Wow, Adagio was actually teaching you something. That’s crazy. “But I admit, I like Equestria more than I do on my Earth. Though, that Equestrian-adjacent Earth doesn’t seem too bad either, I guess.”

Adagio sighed “It isn’t. I was just really bent on revenge to really notice the good those two do. I mean, Sonata can scrounge up food when we got none like it’s nothing, even if it is just tacos. And Aria can make things happen with her fists and threats. And, y’know, when I feel alone, they’re always there, even if I don’t want them to be. I mean, looking at things, Starswirl probably did us a favor.”

Wut? “Hm? A favor, how so?”

“Uhm, well, I’m gonna take a guess that whenever that princess rolled around, evil started to get its butt kicked left and right. Equestria seems so peaceful now, I don’t see patrols anywhere and Princess Celestia doesn’t seem to be on any kind of war path. I’m gonna take a guess that whole Nightmare Moon thing got resolved too, right?” Adagio asked calmly, this was actually becoming a really productive and fun conversation.

You nodded. “Yeah, she came back and got reformed. She’s back to ruling Equestria with her sister. Y’know, as Luna, and not Nightmare Moon.”

“I figured, the moon looks kinda normal and less spooky than I remember. If I wanted to look at things in a totally non-selfish way, I guess being stuck alone on the moon for over a thousand years is much worse than what we got.” Adagio said with a long relaxed sigh.

“Yeah, it really is. Princess Luna is still adjusting, even to this day.” You tell her.

“I see…” Adagio sighed and looked towards you. “Look, I know what you’re doing, you’re going to reverse my wish, right?”

Guh?! “Erm, I mean-”

“Save it, it’s pretty much what I want. You beat me, I lost, I get it. Besides, if Equestria is gonna be like this, then I don’t want to be here anymore, it’s boring.” Adagio said.

Well then, huh, this had to be the first reformation that became self-aware before you could actually do your stuff. Hell, she reformed so hard she made you realize why your past life really sucked. You actually learned a fucking lesson from this. “So that’s it then, you’re a good guy now?”

Adagio groaned. “Ugh, please, don’t say that. Look, I’ll change my ways, alright? They’re obviously not working. I’ll even try to make amends with those dweebs from Canterlot High, but don’t call me a good guy. I want to be what I want to be, and I’ll be what that is whenever I figure things out.”

Good enough. You just watched as…

“Adagio!” Said a cheerful voice from behind as hands wrapped around a sitting Adagio.

“Wha, huh?” Adagio was genuinely surprised. When she looked down, she could see blue arms around her chest. And her body, she was a human again. “Heh, oh, that was a dirty move, Anon.” And that was the secret part of your spell. Whatever happened, whatever was said, you were feeding Adagio’s words to wherever Sonata and Aria might truly be, risking everything in hopes things would go down the right path. Adagio slowly leaned back into Sonata, and smiled. “You heard everything I said, huh?”

“Yep! And I don’t even know how! I think I exploded into actual nothingness for a second, but then I heard your voice saying all those things. That we really are pretty much sisters sorta, and that you like tacos!” Sonata said as she nuzzled onto Adagio.

“I didn’t exactly say I like… Oh, never mind, it’s good to have you back.” Adagio said as she just sat there in the snow. “Aria, you’re not going to join in on this? Probably the only time in a long time I’m willing to be loved on.”

Aria was indeed there, standing there with her usual scowl. She just crossed her arms and turned her head away. “I’m good, I’m busy right now.”

You were stepping around to see why she was shivering. When you caught a glimpse of Aria’s face, she had tears running down her eyes. “Heh, looks like you’re busy keeping yourself together. C’mon, this is your big chance to hug things out! Everything is going to be okay now!”

“Wha?! GRRR!” Aria stepped up to you and grabbed you by the collar, lifting you up angrily and shaking you. “Shut up! I’m not crying over anything! Tell them I’m not crying!”

She was shaking you hard, geez! “Nghahhdhshdhsadlhasokay! OKAY! You’re not crying!”

“Good!” Aria put you down and crossed her arms, looking away towards the van, pointing towards it. “Now, if you want to make it up to me, you could do that one thing you said you were gonna do. You know, make the inside bigger?”

You look towards the van, then back at Aria. Christ, she went straight for that instead of joining the moment. But, should yo-Wait a second. Your horn! Your wand! When you were reaching for it during your contemplation, you noticed it wasn’t on you. You began to panic when you suddenly felt your forehead being poked by a stick. You look up to see Aria with your wand, poking you. “Erm…”

Aria rolled her eyes and offered the wand back to you. “Relax, I wasn’t going to do anything with it. I just wanted to show you what Adagio said was right about me. You also need to be more careful, you know? A mistake like that could cost you big time.”

…God.

You looked around to see if Discord could be seen. He was nowhere to be found, but you know he was laughing hard at you right now. “Y-yeah, I wouldn’t want that.” You chuckled sheepishly. You take the wand back and look towards Adagio. “You fine with me customizing your van?”

“Heh, you kinda have to. Aria did show you the ‘error of your ways’. You gotta be more careful, you never know who can trust with power like that.” Adagio said with a soft snicker.

Sonata released Adagio from her snuggle hug to hop around excitingly to ask for something. “Oh! Oh! Can I get like, a lot of tacos? Tons of tacos!? You know, in case we get hungry?”

You looked towards Adagio, who just nodded. Sure, whatever. You grant Sonata her wish, using your magic on the van and putting the tacos within it.

“Alright…” Aria said with a shrug. “And how about the money?”

Adagio chuckled with a sigh and put her arm on Aria’s shoulder. “C’mon, do you want to make things too easy? We’re the Dazzlings, we don’t need some shrimp to make things too easy for us.”

“Look, Adagio. I’m willing to go with the whole redemption thing, but we need some kind of cash. We’re flat broke.” Aria said, crossing her arms and looking Adagio in the eye with a dead serious expression.

“Fine fine. Hey, Anon, could you hook us up with some cash? Maybe, like, a thousand? I promise to put it to good use. Well, mostly, we do have needs, you know?” Adagio asked.

Should you? A thousand shouldn’t be too bad. But you also knew that theysda;ljsofjhdsfopdsf

“Pweeeease, Anon? You were a human, right? So, will something like this convince you?” Sonata leaned in and gave you a deep kiss on the lips. Sadly no tongue.

You just had the goofiest look on your face as you pointed your wand and produced two thousand dollars in a gift box stating it had two thousand dollars in it. “Sure thing, ahahaaaaa.”

Aria and Adagio were both stunned by that display. Aria had to walk up to Sonata and just ask her. “Sonata, you know he still has the body of a kid, right?”

“I know, but he’s but he’s older than us, right? So it’s okay?” Sonata asked.

“Er, actually, we’re much much older than him. We used to be Sirens, remember?” Adagio reminded her.

“Ooooohhh yeah, do I have to go to jail now?” Sonata asked innocently.

Aria and Adagio just sighed with a laugh. It was just laughs all around, like at the typical end of an old cartoon.

Time had passed from this point, but it was already getting late and the morning sun of Christmas day would soon be upon you. Aria and Sonata had called it a night at that point and went inside the van to be impressed for a while and then fall asleep. Adagio, however, stayed out with you a bit longer, for just a little more talk.

“Going home, huh? A shame, would have been nice to have you around for Christmas. You’d make a cute mascot if we got you a little costume for our Christmas show.” Adagio said, sitting next to you in the snow.

“Christmas show?” You asked.

“Yeah, might as well use some of that money for the good of others, right? Give them a kickbutt show to enjoy. But I get it, you gotta get home for Hearthwarming.” Adagio said to you, giving you a pat on the head. “Sorry about the interview.”

“Yeah, it’s fine. That was more Discord’s thing than mine, he’ll get over it. Tell you the truth, I didn’t think anything would come of this, especially when it came to making friends with you guys.” It was surprising, even to you.

“I guess that’s what Christmas does, it gives you the gift you need the most, when you least expect it. But, ugh, now I’m sounding too mushy. I’m just gonna ask this though, are you ever going to come back and visit?” Adagio said, looking at you with soft eyes. She actually looked… Man, if you had to start your life somewhere, it could have been at least in this world. Ah well…

“I’ll see what I can do, I don’t exactly have a way back here without Discord’s help, but I’ll definitely try to visit you guys someday.” You say, giving her a cheerful smile.

“Heh, I’ll be looking forward to it then. And, Anon?” Adagio suddenly hugged onto you, tears slowly flowing from her eyes. “Merry Christmas, alright? Don’t tell anyone a siren told that to you, okay? Just accept it, and… Yeah, yeah, getting too mushy now.”

“It’s alright” You tell her as you return the hug. “Merry Christmas to you too, Adagio.”

“Heh…” Adagio gently let you go. “Alright, ummm… So….” She began to look around aimlessly. “Where is Discord, anyway? You’d think he’d be a part of this. Or is he that much of a wuss?”

“Yeah, he’s kinda a wuss about these sort of things. But I can tell you he’s definitely around. So, before something happens to me, I just wanna say it was really great to meet you, Adagio.” You tell her, giving her another hug.

“Awww, Anon, you really do care.” Said a voice, as the body you were hugging felt sandy and poky.

“AGH!?! ARGH!” Dammit! You felt like you got poked by a cactus or something. When you looked up, you saw Discord in human clothes, sitting there in Adagio’s clothes as you found yourself in a void. “Really?! You couldn’t at least let her get her response in before pulling your crap!? You could have at least not fucking made me feel like a pin cushion”

Discord shrugged. “I gave you plenty of time to be alone with them. Though, I admit I was waiting to see if you’d betray Diamond’s trust, but you didn’t. Good work, Anon! Your Hearthwarming gift is I don’t tell her about Sonata’s ‘affections’ towards you. Isn’t that grand? I'll even leave an apology card for taking you away so suddenly, so they know they're in your sneaky little heart.”

“Yeah, it’s super…” You say with a sarcastic groan. “So, that’s it then, huh? Eh, whatever, I’m at least glad we managed to help them. But what about you? You’re not sour about not getting your interview? You know, we could just go back and ask Adagio at least, I’m sure she’d be willing to give it to you.”

“Pfft, who cares about that? Weren’t you listening, Anon? We have far more important matters to attend to right now, and we barely have time to deal with it!” Discord said as he popped open a pocket watch and gave it a look.

God, what now? “Listening to what? Discord, c’mon, I’m sleepy, at least let me go to bed.”

“Anon, you really are foolish sometimes. How can we go home when me, Discord, the spirit of chaos, is some kind of lowly music mogul in this universe! And even then, that’s not even the important part! See, I realized that giving Twilight that interview report really means nothing in the grand scheme of things. But to reform a version of myself, one who doesn’t deserve the name Discord, now that would truly astound her AND impress Fluttershy as a sort of utterly and completely unintended secondary effect that completely won't make Chrysalis's gift seem like nothing in comparison. Now then, this will most likely take up the entire moWAH! Ow! Anon! You didn’t have to throw thatGAH!” Discord was being pelted by tons of books, video tapes, dvds, and blu-rays. All of one thing. Seems he wasn’t a match for you in his human form.

“Here, All the “Christmas Carol” Scrooge crap you can put him through. I’m done for the night, Discord. Fuck off, I’m going home!” You say as you point your wand at yourself. And with all things chaos and Christmas, wish yourself back to your fucking bed.

“Well, that was rude.” Discord said as he just stood up from the pile and wiped himself off. “You give them the world and they still think you’re a terrible parent. Kids these days.”