A Dadonequus Christmas

Discord was standing there, staring down Adagio as the area around you began to darken, snow kicking up and swirling around, as everyone and everything else disappeared within the whirling snow. Discord and Adagio were staring each other down, and at this point, you had to wonder what Discord was cooking up, because he wasn’t throwing any one liners or anything like that, and it was becoming spooky.

Adagio just looked around herself, taking in the scenery as she was becoming more visibly frustrated. Then she heard it, you heard it, you all heard it.

The sound of jingle bells.

Adagio began to snicker. “Ooohh, okay, that explains it. You really are a loser, do you know that, Discord? What? Your powers are working now? Are you filled with all that Christmas nonsense? Oh, I bet you are. So, let me guess, are you going to show me my past, present, and oh so dismal future? Wait, wait! You’re gonna offer Sonata and Aria a ticket to Equestria, right? Oh, ho ho, hilarious. Let me be absolutely clear: They need me, even if I don’t need them. So stop wasting my time, and back off!”

She really wasn’t buying it, was she? You looked towards Discord to try to get a sign of what he was planning, but he was still in the same pose, looking epic as the wind blew through his hair and clothes. “Uh, Discord? Do you got a plan here?”

Discord finally spoke, rather seriously. “Of course… I’ll just do what I do best.” Discord then snickered, and looked towards Adagio. “So then, you really think I’d do something so low? No, as you have noticed, I’m filled with the cheer and wondrous feeling of Christmas. Such a wonderful feeling it truly is. And you know what that means, right?”

Adagio rolled her eyes at him, clearly disgusted and annoyed with his little speech. “What? Are you going to sing carols at me?”

Discord reached his hand out as the snow became a tornado. You couldn’t hold on anymore as you began to become swept up within it, screaming. Discord was taking it too far! Even Adagio was having trouble keeping her footing. But Discord, no, he just stood there as if nothing was happening and positioned his fingers for a snap. “No, I’m here to deliver your Christmas gift.”

And Discord finally did it, he snapped his fingers, causing the entire area to explode with snow, blowing you away as Adagio became buried in the white powder.

“Ngh, grrrr, Ragh!” Adagio growled as she smashed through the mound of snow she found herself under. “Discord! You jerk! Is that how you want to play?! Well, I got… Huh?” Adagio looked around. She was in a completely different place, on a high hill, with only a few trees around her. “...Great, wonderful. I should have followed my own advice and walked away. Uggghhh raggh!” Adagio screamed out in frustrated fury. “Where am I, Discord!? Where did you go?” Adagio began to look around, until she noticed something odd, the shining of stars within the sky. “Wait a second, am I even in the city anymore? I can see all the stars. Wait…” Adagio moved forward, feeling more and more odd, yet familiar. She came upon the end of the hill and looked downwards. “A town? It looks old, but the lights are on so its not one of those fake historic ones. Wait… That can’t be.” When she looked ahead, she could see a mountain with a castle city hanging along its side. “Am I… Home?”

Adagio was stunned, shaking even, as she slowly looked upon her hooves. They were hooves?! And she could see her golden yellow scales, and some of her snout as she tried to focus her eyes. “I’m home! I’m home!” Adagio was laughing giddily, floating around and then stomping her hooves along the ground. “Yes! Yes! Yes! That stupid Draconequus totally messed up! Hah, he DID try to bring Sonata and Aria here, but he brought all three of us instead! So much for Christmas magic! Hey, Aria, Sonata! Are you seeing this?!” Adagio looked back to find her two comrades, but they were nowhere to be seen. “Aria? Sonata?”

“Surely you’re not looking for those two, are you?”

Adagio looked to her side. She saw Discord, back in his glorious old form, leaning against a tree while eating a frozen apple cartoonishly contained in an ice cube. “I thought you didn’t need them.”

“Discord.” Adagio said as she snarled at him, furrowing her brow. “Are you saying you actually did me a favor for once? So what’s the joke? I know you didn’t actually leave them behind. This isn’t even real, is it?”

“I wasn’t lying, was I? I granted your wish. Utterly and completely, this is indeed the Equestria you were ejected from. Though, times have changed, as you can see. Still, you should be able to adjust without an issue.” Discord said boredly as he took another bite before tossing the apple core away.

“My wish? What does that even mean?” Adagio asked, seemingly confused by his wording.

“Wait, hold on a second.” Discord said as he held up a talon. Suddenly, the screams of your imminent touchdown could be heard from the air, as Discord out reaches his tail, and just in the nick of time, catches your plummeting pony body and gently puts you down on the snow. “There we are. Enjoy your flight, Anon?”

You were shaking, cold, icicles hang from your muzzle and tail. “Y-y-you’re an a-a-asshole.”

“Language, Anon, we’re on the clock.” Discord said with a grin as he snapped his paw, melting away the snow as he placed a foal sized coat over you, instantly warming you as he looked back at Adagio. “But anyway, I s-”

But Adagio just interrupts him, annoyed with his antics. “I figured it out already, sheesh. So you brought me, and only me, to Equestria? Wow, I thought you were dumb before, but this is something Sonata could never screw up, even with her low IQ. How exactly is this supposed to beat me?”

Discord shrugged. “It isn’t, I was merely venting out some unwanted and rather intrusive thoughts. You can do as you wish, I won’t stop you. Can’t let myself be detected by my other self here, you know? Although with Anon here, it would be quite fun to shock Princess Twilight all over again. She wouldn’t realize what was going on until long after I had my fun. But, then I’d end up confusing this Fl-”

“Shut up already” Adagio once again interrupted. “Nobody cares.”

Discord scoffed. “Well, you’re no fun at all. And to think, I was merely being a nice guy.”

Wait, was that the truth? You almost thought Discord was master planning making her feel like shit by making her come here alone. But she seemed completely unaffected other than being annoyed with Discord's bullshit. “Whoa whoa, hold on. Are you telling me you’re not worried about your friends?”

Adagio shrugged. “Why should I? I’m back in Equestria, I can do whatever I want now.”

Fucking hell! She was worse than fucking Suri! Even Chrysalis gave a damn about her hive. “Bull-fucking-shit!” You stomped on over to her as you pointed towards her with your hoof. “You’ve been with them for over a thousand years. How do you just drop them like that?”

“More like they held me down for over a thousand years. Do you think I was kidding about what I said? I don’t need them, but they always needed me. But hey, if you’re THAT worried about them, then don’t be. They still have the van.” Adagio said with a mocking snicker.

“So that’s it then?” Was it really? Was this all truly pointless?

Adagio laughed a bit, smiling at the new opportunities she had. “Yep. For you two that is, you can go. You gave me an entire town to entertain, and suck up all their essence for myself. I’m going to make Equestria all mine, and no one… No, nopony is going to be able to stop me!”

“Well, you have fun with that. Anon and I must be going anyway, Hearthwarming and all that.” Discord said as he snapped open a portal behind himself. “Come along, Anon, we’re done here.”

“What?! Are you fucking kidding me?! We can’t just go! We can’t just leave her here.” You yelled back at him.

“Of course we can. We did a good thing here, we granted the wish of somecreature who truly wanted nothing more but to come home. We accomplished that no problem. Seriously, you have no idea how much magic I had to do to break Starswirl’s little spell. I had to make it where those two didn’t exist, it was the only way to undo the seal. The seal was meant for three, so without the three, you have no seal. Genius, wasn’t it?” Discord said with a cruel smile as his eyes slowly shifted towards Adagio.

Wut?

“What do you mean ‘those two didn’t exist’. What does that mean?” Adagio asked. While her expression hadn’t changed, her tone of voice was suddenly becoming a little shaky.

“Oh, it’s nothing to worry about, nothing at all.” Discord said as he began to beckon you. “Anon, time is-a wastin’. We have to get home.”

Oh god, you finally realized what Discord’s ruse was. Was he given the power, through Christmas, to rewrite fucking reality? “Discord, are you saying you pulled a ‘reverse time change’ to make this happen?”

Discord nodded. “Is that a problem?”

It was finally starting to dawn on Adagio what the truth of the situation was. “Are you saying you just… Erased them? They’re actually gone?”

Discord nodded once more. “Again, is that a problem?”

Adagio became silent, she began to shake as her tail stiffened. Her eyes began to become unfocused as her mind ran wild in her head.

You had to wonder something. If Adagio was suddenly acting like this, then it could only mean one thing. “So that was your plan, wasn’t it? You end up here, wait for us to leave, then take enough power for yourself to break Starswirl’s seal and bring Aria and Sonata here.”

“You moron, I didn’t plan that. It just seemed obvious when he started talking his usual double talk. I just didn’t expect…” Adagio tensed, her fin along her back lowering as she came face to face with her own mistakes. “I didn’t know he was going to just erase them.”

“Which means you actually care about them. Can’t you see? You DO need them.” You say, trying to get through to her, empathize with her as you approach her miserable form.

“I have to admit it, you’re right. But I also know what I’d have to give up to make that happen.” Suddenly she slowly looked up at you with a vicious look. “How many times do I have to say that you can’t trick me?”

Wut?

Suddenly her tail whips towards you and winds around your neck, choking you as she holds you up towards Discord. “N-Ngh, w-what?!”

“How naive do you think I am?! Are you serious, Discord? You’re a goody dweeb now, you’re not going to erase anypony!” Adagio growled as she held you up and made you whine by tightening the grip on her tail. “But I’ll erase him, you know I will. This isn’t your Equestria, right? What do you care what happens to the ponies here? You bring back Sonata and Aria, and I’ll let him go. That’s the deal.”

“Well played.” Discord said, smirking, as he clapped his paw and talons together. “But I wasn’t lying. They don’t exist anymore, at least in any existing realm. I can’t bring them here, and unfortunately for you, I can’t reverse my magic either, not this time.” Discord shrugged. “Chaos is a fickle little thing.”

GHGFHGFHFHGFHFGHFGH

“And you expect me to buy that?! Don’t you care about your kid?!” Adagio yelled.

“I’m not afraid to admit that I do. But I also don’t really lie either, just mostly bend the truth, mostly. I suppose sometimes I do tend to lie, but this isn’t one of those times. The spell, and I want you to listen closely, is extremely complex to the point of absolute chaos. And I do tend to have an issue reversing those kinds of spells. Changing angry beavers back to their old selves? No problem. Putting their now ethereal forms back to the corporal plain? Well, that isn’t very chaotic now is it?” Discord said as he waved his paw around, creating a snow version of Sonata and Aria, before making them pop. “That’s just how things are, I’m afraid. Surely you know that I’m telling the truth.”

“So you want to stick to that, huh? HUH?! What did they even do to you?! What, why?! I didn’t… I didn’t mean… Ngh…” Adagio was finally starting to show cracks in her armor, as she slowly began to break down. “I didn’t want them gone, I didn’t, I never treated them harshly. I just… I, do, ngh. Do you know how annoying they could be sometimes? Sonata always being dumb, Aria always just messing things up and… And…” Adagio’s tail loosened as you fell into the snow, she started to cry as she looked to her own hooves. “I just wanted to come back and try again, I thought we could all do it together. I had been stuck as a human for so long, because of Starswirl… Because…” Adagio went silent for a moment, then shook her head. “Because that’s it, right? Because we were evil? And evil always loses, huh? We don’t deserve a happy ending. B-but it was such a good plan, I just… I don’t… I haven’t been alone in so long, I can’t… I can’t imagine not being surprised by Sonata’s tacos whenever there’s nothing to eat. Or Aria just shutting someone up with her fist, y’know, because some people just don’t get it. But she got it. They got it.”

Ogh, you were rubbing your neck for a moment, you thought you were done for that time. Adagio seemed to finally be grasping the situation. Though, even if she was, what was the point now? Discord was telling the truth, right? He can’t reverse the spell? That means no matter what, Adagio would be alone. You didn’t know what to say to her now that she had fallen. You had to find out for sure, so you walked up to Discord. “Discord, are you serious? You can’t reverse the spell?”

“Tch, I’m surprised you’re even entertaining that idea. How long was your brain without oxygen, exactly?” Discord said with a scoff.

“Dammit, Discord, be serious for once. I get that she was a total bitch. But you just essentially killed her friends! I didn’t want that to actually happen!” You yelled at him.

“Kill? That’s a little harsh, isn’t it? I did no such thing, that wasn’t even my intention. The lesson here was to show her what she wanted wasn’t what she wanted because she already had what she needed. It isn’t my fault that I can’t reverse the spell, it is how it is.” Discord said with a shrug.

“Then what was the point of casting it if she couldn’t even have what she needed?!” You shouted back at him, actually believing he may have gone too far.

Discord looked back at Adagio for a moment. She was crying at this point, she was apologizing to the air, as if she was talking to them. He then looked back at you. “The point was exactly what’s going on right now. My part is finished.”

“Grrr, Discord! What the hell does that mean?! Did you even realize that you couldn’t reverse the damn spell?!” You angrily growled at him.

“From the very start. I knew I couldn’t reverse the spell, I always knew.” Discord simply stated.

“Then why did yo-” Oh….fucking hell, he was fucking with you. “...I can reverse it. That’s what it is. That’s why you keep saying that you can’t.”

“Oh good, your brain is still functioning after all. I still think you’re being too forgiving too quickly.” Discord looked back at Adagio, who was now in total despair, she was just staring into the starry sky, utterly broken. “But then again, it seems her little revelation that she needs her friends is hitting her quite hard.”

“Look, I get that she nearly choked me to death, but after everything with Chrysalis, I'm used to it by now. So yeah, I’ll go talk to her.” You say as you place your horn on your head. You then look back at Discord with a small grin. “Good plan, by the way. I never thought bringing her here would have been an option.”

“Well, it’s what she wanted, right? Sacrifice, Anon, it is something that may give us what we want. But what we give away might be that much more important. It’s a lesson I had learned before I ever thought about bringing you to Equestria, so I knew I could apply it here.” Discord explained, his tone softening as he thought about THAT moment.

“I guess Tirek was good for something after all. Alright, alright, I’m really impressed, I mean it.” You really were.

“I know, I’m great. But come along now, we do have a schedule to keep.” Discord said to you as he pointed to a watch on his arm.

You gave him a salute. “Got it, you can count on me.”

Now it was your turn.