Ponycraft: The Maw of Insanity

“Ruby, it's been an hour and a half, and nothing's here. Let's go home already, I don't know what weird voice in your head told you something would be here, but it's wrong.” Berry said, laying in the forest entrance, plucking grass out of boredom.

“Patience. I was told something about a raptor.” Ruby said, staring into the forest.

“...You're buckin' shitting me. A RAPTOR? Those don't even exist! I know Equestria has some screwed up animals as pets but a RAPTOR? Whatever voice told you that was taking shrooms or something! I'm heading home!”

Berry got up angrily and started to walk back to Maneside, Ruby and Berry's home city.

“Wait...” Ruby said, calmly.

“I AIN'T WAITIN' ANY--”

“No! Berr, do you hear that?”

Berry came over to Ruby and listened hard. A faint conversation was far into the forest, heading their way. It was edging toward them rather fast.

“Ruby, they're probably just ponies headed for home from the forest!” Berry shouted, angrily.

“Berry, what pony goes into the Everfree Forest for a regular stroll?” Ruby asked.

“...Alright, yeah... good point.”

Berry's shout triggered a distress yell in a very, very thick accent.

“Oi! Hello? Is somebody there!?”

They were close enough that Ruby and Berry could hear the leaves rustling.

“'Ey Carees, lad! Clearing be up here!”

A deep voice responded.

“Well, what do you know? We made it.”

“Watch yer step, only the gods know what these bushes do.”

As the two stallions stepped out of bushes and into the opening they looked to see the two mares staring straight at them. For Cannon and Carees, it was just two natives looking at them, but for Ruby and Berry, they were greeted by 2 stallions. One had a messy orange mane and a short tail, while the other had a short black mane and a regular size tail. Cannon gained the courage to speak up.

“Err... hello. Ye lassies know any shelters 'round these parts? Me friend and I... we be kinda lost.”

Ruby replied shyly “Umm... well... there's a city not too far from here, you could stay there. Oh, hey. Before you head off... umm... have you seen a raptor-like creature around and about?”

Cannonbolt's eyes widened and gave her a look. “Yes, lass, I have. He be my companion. How do ye know about him? I demand an answer!”. Cannonbolt demanded, angrily.

Ruby got nervous. “Ummm.... Something told me I would find it here if I waited. Does it happen to be green?”

“Aye, it be okay then.” Cannon whistled into the bushes. “CUDDLES! Come out here, ye scaredy cat! This lass had a vision of ye!”

Cuddles poked his head out of the bushes with a whimper. Berry Punch had a frustrated look on her face.

“You have to be kidding me.” She said, mouth open.

Cuddles jumped out, and his spiked boy made the mares flinch a second.

“I see... this meeting was destined between us, then. Berr, I think we're in for another ride.” Ruby looked to her friend, who let out a huge sigh.

“Big adventure, here we come... again.”

“'scuse me, but “again”? You've been in a huge adventure before?” asked Carees, with a deep voice that almost surprised the two mares.

“Yeah. We were in a war with the most jerkish man in the universe. We had to stop him before he killed everyone who doesn't like him so he could be loved.” Berry explained with a very serious tone of voice.

“Impressive, lassies. 'Tit all went well, I'm to assume?”

“Not all of it. The monster brainwashed one of our friends into serving him until she died... She didn't make it.”

Carees looked down at the ground. “That's a fate nobody deserves. I can fix her fate, and make it so she never died, but I don't expect you to believe me.”

Berry rolled her eyes, but Ruby did not. Still in a serious manner, Ruby replied “I believe you. I believe you one-hundred percent.”

Berry looked over, surprised. “WHAT? You do? What kind of crazy pill have you been taking?”

Ruby didn't even turn around for her answer. “The pill that makes me notice they say “everybody” and not “everypony”. They're from another world, a world that holds a lot of chaos and war.”

“Aye, that be right! Did ye get told that too?” Cannon asked.

“No. I can tell. You have a thick accent that nopony in Equestria has, you have a green raptor as a pet, you're carrying huge, mythological looking weapons on your back. I think they know what they're talking about.” Ruby listed, smiling. Carees made a back-statement.

“And YOU have a great power stored in you and can use psychic power.”

Ruby gasped. “H-hey! How'd you know that?”

Carees smiled. “How else could you defeat such a great villain, and why else would he corrupt your friend and specifically try to stop you with her but to want the power inside you? And how do I know you have psychic power? Because you wouldn't know these weapons are mythological if you didn't read our mind to find out!”

At the same time, both Berry and Cannon looked at Carees and said “Damn”. Ruby stood there with her mouth open, clearly very impressed.

Carees bowed his head down and up. “I believe introductions are in order. My name is Carees C. Dodsworth.”

“And I be Cannonbolt! This here be my pet raptor, Cuddles.”

Cuddles softly roared a noise and hopped.

“Nice to meet you! I'm Ruby Black.”

“An' my name is Berry Punch.”

Cannon directed his attention toward Berry's name.

“Berry, lass, that name o' yers makes me wish I had a nice, good ol' beer in me hands to relax from all this business about us bein' sent 'ere and all that. Oi, I could really go for some ale right 'bout now, wouldn't you, Carees?”

“I might if I had one in front of me, but not at the moment, no.”

Cannonbolt shook his head. “Aye, lad. Ye be me buddy! But sometimes, ye just ain't fun! An alcoholic drink can sometimes take aaaaall yer stress away.”

Berry smiled at Cannon. “I like the way you think, Cannon! I run a bar in the city not too far from here. We ain't got that beer stuff, but we got alcoholic punch or juice. It's just beer, but has a more fruity taste to it. I'll take you there sometime!”

“Alcoholic punch. That's one idea me wee brain wouldn't think of in a million years. I outa try it sometime. Sounds like a nice, refreshing drink if it be after a long day.”

Berry and Cannon completely ignored the fact Ruby and Carees existed anymore and continued to talk about the drinks of their lands. Berry was in a trance listening to Cannon's dramatic speeches about Azerothian drinks and the tales of him and his drunk friends.

“Well, it seems we've been blocked out of existence for the time being.” Ruby put simply.

“When Cannon finds a beer buddy, he never stops talking. He's just kind of a reckless little man. Or at least, once little.”

“Well, anyways, tell me about those awesome weapons you guys carry! They look so cool, and I bet you guys have tales of how you got them!”

“That we do, miss Ruby. I carry Sulfuras, Hand of Ragnaros. Only the most skilled of blacksmiths may craft this hammer, says the legend of Sulfuras. First, Cannon, I, and a few of our Azerothian friends visited the lair of the dreaded firelord, Ragnaros. The creature was huge in size, and carried a hammer that represented his ferocity. We battled the beast in an amazing battle of endurance and strategy. The beast fell at the might of my frozen powers that I possess. Then, we all decided that I shall have the task of taking the core out of the huge mace, and gather the materials to make it. Once I did that, with all my energy dissipated, I crafted the hand of Ragnaros and called it my own. I have never fought a battle without the fiery legend.”

Carees smiled as he patted his weapon.

Ruby was smiling out of amazement. She had never heard a more impressive tale. She was in awe that the most heroic stallion she had ever heard of was talking directly to her, befriending her.

“A-- Aha! Wow! I... I... I've never heard a more impressive story in my life! That's... so... cool.”

Ruby looked at him with a moved look. She had barely met him, yet she had already fallen for him.

“Heh, if you want to hear impressive, Cannon's got as many stories as I do. Like how he got his bow. That's one to know. He fought some of the most fiercest demons in the legends all by himself to obtain that bow. That bow is nature made. Nature had provided it for the chosen hunter, whoever that was brave enough to face the obstacles to get it. It generates magic arrows when the string is pulled.”

“No way!” Ruby gasped

“Yes way! He just came back home one day with a huge wound on his leg and said to me “I got the longbow of ancient keepers”.”

Ruby's eyes made her look like she had been seduced.

“You have... quite the brave stories, you two do. If you don't have anywhere to stay... Umm... we can provide for you!”

Carees made the most genuine smile in existence. “Hmm. That would be quite helpful, yes... I believe we can accept that offer gladly, seeing it is that we arrived to this planet 3 hours ago.”

“Ah! Yes! Good! We have an extra room we can let you two stay in.” Ruby said.

Carees kept the smile on his face and chuckled. “You're blushing, my dear.”

Ruby's body scrunched up. “I... uh...”

“Ahaha! Don't worry about it. Stories such as ours do not come around so often, so people are often amazed by them.”

Ruby tried to play it off. “Uhh... yeah... heheh. Your stories... they sure are impressive.”

“That they are, my dear Ruby, that they are.”

Suddenly, they notice that loud voices were coming from the right. As they looked over, they didn't expect the two alcoholics to be talking about anything different than what they were talking about 10 minutes ago.

“An-- and then... the poor lad got knocked back so hard... he flew through the window and hit a royal city guard, drunk!”

Berry and Cannon both broke out laughing. Ruby thought Berry was going to die laughing on the ground for a moment.

“Ohoho! That's rich!” Berry said, still laughing, and wiping a tear from her eye.

Ruby spoke up to Berry.

“Hey, Berr!” Ruby shouted.

Berry turned to see Ruby. She was still smiling.

“These guys don't have a place to stay, is it okay if we--”

“YES.” Berry answered before Ruby could finish her sentence.

“Well that settles that. What about your raptor, Cannonbolt? Sorry if you take offense, but is he allowed in your house back in Azeroth?”

“Aye, lassie! He be fine! He always sticks with me and I've taught him inside manners as well.”

“Well, good. I didn't want raptor theses in my house, that's only why I asked.”

“Oh, flagon leaks! I taught him not to do that 9 years 'go.”

“Well, let's start heading back to the city. Whatever kind of adventure we're in for soon... I hope it's gonna be fun.” Ruby said, walking back to Maneside City. She kept close to Carees the whole way.