As much as I had wanted to run after Sweetie Belle, I couldn’t. Not only did I not know where she went but it had started to rain, and the only place I wanted to be was home, and the only pony I wanted to be with was myself.

I began my long walk home from Ponyville market, it was long because I liked how the rain cooled me off. I think I was more than due for an ice bucket of water to be thrown onto me. After what felt like an hour I reached my front door.

I walked inside my home not bothering to try and dry off but heading straight for my shower.

I turned on the hot water to an appropriate temperature before I was content. I slid down my shower tub and let the hot water pour all over me. Then it happened. I burst into tears, for at the time I felt I had no reason for doing it, but as I whaled out at the top of my lungs, and my tears being hotter than the water itself. I soon started to realise why I was having this break down, it was because I no longer felt like myself, all these thoughts rushing through my head and all these different crushes. I used to look at mares like that and think what a dirty slut, but now I have become one and all I see is myself crashing and burning.

I flung my hoof against the side of the tub in anger, “No more!” I yelled, “I’m not going to have these stupid little flings anymore, I’m going to find one special somepony and settle with them.”

I sighed, I think I have ruined enough of my life already. I have lost a friend, and my dignity. Not that I had much dignity to begin with. Well starting from now I will only be interested in mares or maybe stallions who I think I can have a relationship with.

I hopped out of the shower and dried myself off, my mane was soft and not brittle from all the gel and hairspray I usually have in it, I like it like this sometimes… when nopony else is round.

I later made myself a hot chocolate and sat on my little couch as I warmed up and stared into the night, I don’t know how long I had been sitting there or how long I had been staring into the night sky but I do know this, I was excited for school tomorrow, or I was excited to start the search for my special somepony.

I soon was walking in dreamland and there was no way I was being rustled awake anytime soon.

“Are you enjoying yourself berry?”

Silence.

“Oh? Do you not appreciate the gift? You think what hmm? You can just worm your way out of it with just one special somepony… have fun with that.”

Silence.

“You don’t believe me? Already there are obstacles that will prevent you from reaching your goal Berry… I only want what is best for you… I have always wanted what was best for you!”

My eyes snapped open, and a cold sweat ran down my backside. I had fallen asleep on my couch, and with my untouched hot chocolate, which was now spilled, half on myself and half on the floor.
I cleaned myself off as best as I could and when I finally finished that and doing my mane I looked at the time.

“How did I manage to sleep the day away?” I asked no one in particular. “If I go to school now there would be no point… ah well!”

I decided I wouldn’t bother with school today as I wasn’t feeling so well as it was, and there was only an hour left… my bad?

I decided to finally unpack my record player along with all my music and listen to some tunes, more specifically, listen to Vinyl Scratch, her mane was my inspiration and her music is what has kept me going in life. I’m not going to lie, on multiple occasions her words have kept me from letting go of life and her bass brought me back to reality. If I ever met her… I would well… I don’t know.

Time goes quickly when you listen to music and before I could put my hoofs up and relax, there was a knock at the door.

I sighed, I was in the zone, who could it be?

I opened my door to see an confused looking orange Pegasus with pink hair, I opened my mouth to say something but was cut off as she barged her way past me and sat on my living room floor unpacking her bag.

I had completely forgotten about mine and Scootaloo’s study session.

I made my way over to her and sat up on the couch as I stared down at her as she unpacked her things.

When she finished she looked up at me sternly, “Let’s get this over with as quickly as possible so I can get the hay out of here, okay?”

“Uh… okay…” I said taken aback at how angry she sounded, “What’s wrong?”

“Like you would care… you home wrecker!” she looked me dead in the eye then spat away in disgust, “I can’t believe you!”

“Excuse me? Home wrecker? What did I do to you?” I asked shocked.

“What did you do? You grinded up on Sweetie’s sister right in front of her! Full well knowing that she was interested. Hay! I was even interested before I found out that on top of that, you had also slept with my idols marefriend!” she yelled, “so right now all I want to do is be as far away from you as possible! But I can’t because I agreed to do this stupid assignment with you!”

I hadn’t said anything, I let her vent, because she was right about everything, and I deserved nothing but this.

She sat there for a few moments hyperventilating, and all I could do was watch.

As her breaths calmed I spoke, “You can leave… I will do the assignment and you don’t have to do anything, you shouldn’t have to put up with somepony that you don’t like, and well, I don’t really want to be stuck in a room with somepony that hates me… you will still get the credit and that way we don’t cause more conflict.”

“You think getting rid of me will solve the problem!?”

“So you actually want to solve the problem? Or are you just causing another fight?” I asked matter-of-factly, I was in no mood for games, and right now this felt like drama, on top of more drama.

She was surprised by my response to say the least, “I-I… I DON’T KNOW!” she screamed to herself more than me.

“I mean… I really dislike all the things that you have done Berry…” she said and she sounded calmer and more caring then before, she looked me in the eyes, and I felt like her expression was a thousand expressions, I saw hurt in her eyes but I also saw forgiveness, regret, sadness and happiness, this mare was displaying thousands of emotions all at once.

“But Berry, even with everything that you have done, I still… I still kind of like you…” she sounded embarrassed which caused me to blush. “I know it must be hard, everything has changed for you so quickly, but I just hate to see you go down this path… Berry I don’t want you to be labelled a slut… I don’t wish that on anypony…” and then I saw a glistening streak slowly stain her cheek.

This pony sitting in front of me actually cares about me… and I just tried to push her away, when all she was trying to do was get me to see what I was doing, even though I already knew full well what I was doing, I couldn’t help but be grateful for the caring mare that sat before me. She had started to openly cry now and as much as she tried to hide it, she was making it more clear.

I hopped off the couch so I was no longer looking down to her. I threw myself forward and wrapped my forelegs around her bringing her into an tight embrace. She sobbed into my neck and I felt as her tears stained my fur.

“Shh… no pony is labelling me a slut just yet…” I lied as I stroked her mane, to which I felt lots of gel and other product I couldn’t quite put a hoof on, but it smelt like passion fruit and dirt. Literally dirt.

I sat patiently as she slowly wrapped her forelegs around me, “I-I don’t… want a-any pony calling you a slut!” I cried harder, but it felt more relaxed now that she was holding me.

I continued stroking her mane, “Scootaloo, I don’t know what I can say to make you feel better, I honestly have no control over what other ponies think and say, and to be honest I wouldn’t be able to do anything even if I tried,” I stopped stroking her mane and she looked up into my eyes, “What can I do Scootaloo? I don’t want to lose a friend.”

For a split second I thought I saw her twitch, “A friend… is that what you think of me?”

I cleared my throat, was she not my friend… what have I done now? “Of course we are friends, I might even go as far as to say we may be best friends.”

Now this time I definitely saw a twitch, I also realised I was still hugging her, I slowly and inconspicuously let go of her and sat facing her. Turns out she was in deep thought and didn’t even notice.

“Can I ask you a few questions Berry?” she suddenly perked up from her daze.

“Yeah I guess so, are we cool by the way?” I quickly added.

“For now. Anyway, I was wondering since so many ponies are taking a sudden interest in you, have you taken a sudden interest in anypony?”

That was a good question… Was there anypony I felt I had an emotional and physical attraction to? I had told myself I would stop fooling around and choose a special somepony… but who had I chosen to be the object of my desire, and that’s when I realised I had desire for a lot of ponies… but there was one pony in particular I have taken an interest in, but I don’t think she is interested… for certain reasons.

“So?” Scootaloo asked after several moments of waiting for my answer.

“I… I am not interested in anypony… not in that sense anyway…” I sighed out of frustration, “I wish there was but I haven’t really had time to properly connect with anypony.”

“Really? No pony at all?” she asked and it looked as if her eyes were twinkling.

“Hmm… Nope.”

Scootaloo growled in frustration, then she stood up and started packing her things, “Time has flown hasn’t it? I gotta get home!”

I looked at the clock on my wall, it had only been half an hour, there was still the whole afternoon.

“Shouldn’t we-“

“Nope no time! See you at school Berry, Bye!” Before I could say bye back she was out of the house and zooming off on a scooter.

I sighed out loud and flopped backwards onto my couch and sighed loudly. I didn’t want to move, I had slept the day away and now I was exhausted mentally. I wanted to get in bed, pull the blankets over my head and cuddle my teddy until I could fall asleep, and dream my worries away. But my dreams have been betraying me lately and I no longer had my teddy.

I decided I was going to play ‘How long can I levitate the breakables’ as I hadn’t used my magic in a long while.

I decided that the crystal vase I owned would serve as a good test subject. After what felt like an hour I felt my forehead start to form beads of sweat. It wasn’t like I had to do this, I could put the vase down at any time… I had to prove to myself I could beat my record though. Three hours and forty two minutes. My house is boring, it is either listen to music or make my own games, and this was always a fun game.

A knock sounded at my door and for a split moment I lost concentration, but I reacted quickly enough to catch it mere millimetres from the floor, I wiped my forehead, “Phew! Come in the door is open!” I yelled to whoever knocked.

Something in the back of my mind telling me I shouldn’t just let anypony in my house with out checking first… but to be honest, I was only focused on one thing.

“Berry?”

“Yo that’s me!” I said sarcastically.

“What are you doing?” Twilight asked.

“An experiment, how did you find where I live?” I asked still not looking in her direction.

“ I'm a genius, bitch.” She stated.

“Fair enough. What brings you to my little house Ma’am?”

“Don’t call me ma’am. It makes me feel old-“

I scoffed out loud, breaking my concentration and dropping the vase, “You are old.” Worth it.

I walked into my kitchen to get my dust pan, soon I was sweeping up the remains of the victim.

“So why are you here?” I cut to the point as Twilight had fallen silent watching me clean up.

“Umm… to talk actually, it gets kind of lonely at the Library without Spike, my assistant, and well I figured you were a good listener so why not?”

“You mean you came over to hang out?”

“Well… yes.” She gave me the best smile she could muster up, it was very cute in a dorky sense.

“Don’t you have any other friends? What about that mare you are in love with?” I spoke out loud before thinking it over, and Twilight immediately looked hurt.

Her ears drooped and she looked down at something interesting on my floor, “Yeah… that’s kind of the reason I wanted to see you, you’re the only one I told about that and I thought I might fill you in on what happened.”

“Take a seat,” I said as I swept the last of the crystal remains into the pan, “I will be with you in a moment.”

I walked into my kitchen and poured the rubbish in the bin. There was a mix of emotions running through my mind, and if I had to be honest with myself, I really didn’t want to be disturbed after my meeting with Scootaloo. But this was Twilight, our friend. I sighed and bit my lip as I walked back into my living room.

I sat next to Twilight on the couch as far away as possible, I wasn’t taking any chances tonight.

“So what happened?” I asked and I saw as her face went from happy, to her bottom lip quivering and her eyes squinting.

“I-I told her…” she held her hoof up to her mouth like she was biting it.

“And…” I urged her to continue, seeing Twilight like this, she usually looks calm and composed, but this was breaking my heart.

“She laughed in my face.” And then the water works started.

For the second time that day I embraced a sobbing mare, “There, there…” I stroked her mane as she cried into my neck, I wondered if she could smell the faint scent of another mares tears for a split moment.

“It was horrible!” She blubbered, “I told her everything Berry! I told her how I would watch her every day, and how I admired her bravery, and how ever since I laid eyes upon hers I was in love and there was nothing in the world that would tell me otherwise.”

I flinched for no apparent reason.

“I told her that I would do anything for her, I PRACTICALLY GAVE HER MY SOUL BERRY!” she screeched, “And she didn’t even take a moment to consider me, she just laughed, she didn’t say anything.”

“So she literally just laughed?” I asked as if she hadn’t already repeated it.

“Yeah! I didn’t want to stick around after that. I came straight here.”

“So she laughed and you ran away… without seeing if she had anything else to say…” I face hoofed.

“Well… yeah I guess…” she said as her sobs slowed to a stop.

“Twilight,” I bunched her cheeks up in my hooves, “You didn’t even give the mare a chance, maybe she was laughing at the… irony or something…”

She sniffled, “Y-you think so?”

“I know so!” I lied, “And if she really did just laugh in your face come back here… and I’ll give her a piece of my mind!”

Twilight got up off the couch, dusted herself off and then took on an triumphant pose, “Okay!”

With that Twilight was marching out my door, a lot more quickly then she had entered. I was once again alone, I quickly locked the door with magic and headed for my room. Before doing so though, I turned the music player on.

In my room I sat and stared up at my ceiling, while listening to the music echo down the hall. I was relaxed. I could have easily fallen asleep. I could have easily done anything other than lay there on the bed with a worried gut feeling. But I couldn’t move, my emotions were taking me on a joyride of a lifetime and I had no idea why… deep down I knew why. But I couldn’t admit it to myself yet. I feel so out of the loop in my own mind.

Then I heard a knock at the door.

Author's Note

Sorry this took so long, feel free to give advice on the direction of Berry's life. Would Love your feedback. And any offers to help proof read.