I had a hard decision to make. Do I get up and answer the door to what could be an angry mob? Or do I stay in my comfy bed all relaxed and with no worries? Did I even need to ask?

But as I lay in bed I found it more and more impossible to get relaxed as the knocking persisted, and soon enough went from light irritating knocking to bashing on my door.

With a heavy sigh I lifted myself out of bed and headed for the door. Only to find absolutely no pony there when I opened it, not even any down the street walking away. Odd.

Sitting on my doorstep was a basket of flowers with a love heart shaped note, soon enough I was magically enveloping the basket and closing the door behind me and returning to my place of solace. My room.
As I sat on my bed, I read the note.

"PassionBerry, I have been watching you for quite some time now, and I would love to arrange to meet you this weekend, if you choose to accept please leave a flower on your doorstep. Sincerely, your Secret Admirer."

It took me several moments to process this. I had a secret admirer… welcome to the club? If this happened to me a month ago there would be no doubt in my mind. But as of late I feel like everypony is my admirer in one way or another… at least this one is being discreet about it. I decided I would meet this admirer. Curiosity has gotten the better of me. I decided I would leave the flower tomorrow as I leave for school.

For now I’m content with sleeping. I feel like I have been drained even though I have done nothing all day but sleep! I feel drained emotionally.

I sat back in my bed as I let the music echoing down the hall find its way into my mind and help me drift off to sleep.

I awoke to the sound of music and stared up at the clock, I sighed happily noticing I had woken up on time today. I showered and prepared myself for school. Before leaving I grabbed two flowers and left one on my doorstep, checking to see if anypony was watching.

I kept walking with the other one in my mouth, it was a pink rose, I had to fight my urges to eat it. I had planned on giving it to Sweetie Belle as an apology rose for when I saw her. I know it wont make up for what I did to her but it is a start… and its not like I have ever been in this situation before. This is all new to me.

Walking through the halls of ponyville high I had quite a few ponies waving at me and saying hi to me. It was odd, when did I become so popular? Soon enough the bell rang and I headed to my first class.

Three classes, and two lunch breaks later and I was down to the last class, Miss Cheerilee’s English class. Where I would finally find Sweetie Belle, who it seems along with Scootaloo and AppleBloom was successfully avoiding me all day.

As I walked in to the class room I noticed Miss Cheerilee looked miserable, she hadn’t even acknowledged any of the students walking into the room. She hadn’t even looked up from her desk.

I decided I would find out what was wrong after class. I sat patiently at the front, being one of the first to arrive, I watched the doorway for the pony I had been hunting all day.

They were the last to arrive, and when Sweetie Belle made eye contact with me it seemed she struggled to hold the disgust off of her face. Also by the way AppleBloom was pushing on her rear, she was trying to bail.

To make matters worse the only seats left were in the front row… next to me. I gave Scootaloo a small smile, to which she rolled her eyes… I thought we were on better terms again.

AppleBloom was the unfortunate one to sit next to me, but she didn’t seem to mind. She didn’t seem nearly as angry as her friends.

Cheerilee cleared her throat before looking up, and almost as soon as she saw me her attitude changed slightly. But I couldn’t tell if it were better or worse.

Cheerilee Sighed, “As you can all tell I am not feeling the best today, so I will be giving you all time to work on your assignment, if you have any questions feel free to come up and ask me. And please try and keep the noise to a minimum.”

All the ponies in the class translated what she just said into ‘Free time.’ After five minutes of sitting at my desk waiting for something to happen I realised there was a bad vibe in this classroom, and I also realised me and Scootaloo need to do some work on our assignment.

As I made my way over to the group, whom were huddled in a corner, I decided I would finally give the rose I had been holding onto all day to Sweetie Belle. But I noticed as I got closer they got quieter.

Standing next to them I cleared my throat, “Uh… Sweetie Belle I was wondering if I could talk to you…”

“Whatever you have to say to her you can say in front of us!” Scootaloo stated.

“I would rather not…” I said calmly, “Sweetie Belle?”

She took a moment before nodding and following me to another part of the room with less nosey ponies.

We sat for a brief moment of awkwardness before I pulled out the rose and nudged it towards her.

“I got this for you… I’m so sorry Sweetie Belle… I never meant-“ My voice broke, and it was apparent that there was a lump in my throat that was choking me, trying to make me cry.

I cleared my throat and shook my head, “I’m just so sorry, I don’t know what happened, I should have known better, its just… I’m on heat, and you know how it can be-“

“Your on heat?” She suddenly perked up.

“Uh… yeah, I’m glad it isn’t noticeable-“

“Well that explains a lot! Sorry I got so mad, I just didn’t expect my sister to do that with you of all ponies… And I guess I was a bit jealous…” I noticed her blush.

“So you forgive me?” I asked, and tried for the best puppy dog eyes I could manage.

She scoffed, “No. But it is a start. I tell you what… as much as it hurt my feelings, I know my sister is hurting more then I was. Take her out on a date and all is forgiven.”

“What?!” I could have sworn my jaw hit the ground, if anything I thought she would want me to take her out on a date but her sister? The confusion within my mind is too damn high.

“You heard me. Sure I might have liked you, but since the other day, my feeling have changed… but it seems so have Rarity’s… After she apologised profusely, she locked herself in her room and hasn’t come out, so could you take her out this afternoon? It doesn’t have to be a date exactly I guess… just a outing.”

I sighed, “Of coarse I will Sweetie.” I then pulled her in for a hug, that lasted a lot longer then expected.

I could feel her hot breath on the back of my neck as we held each other tighter, it felt as if everything around us had froze in time. She then ripped herself from my grasp, ran a hoof through her mane and walked back over to Scootaloo and AppleBloom who were patiently watching.

I scratched at the floor trying to think of my next move. Scootaloo. I groaned, this one is going to be a pain… I thought everything was fine.

“Well?”

I looked up and noticed the pony looming over top of me.

“Uh hey Scootaloo…” I said as if there was a voice activated bomb around…

“Are we going to work on this assignment or not?” She demanded.

“Of coarse we are! Right now!” I pronounced and jumped to my feet.

She let a smile slip and that’s when it clicked, she was putting the angry act on for Sweetie Belle’s sake and now that everything is… sorta okay, she can drop the act… mostly.

We busied ourselves the rest of the lesson, we had decided to do the old potato clock. Simple but proves we are at least a little smart, I’ve noticed some of the other kids just doing collages on pony anatomy, or the environment or even endangered species.

The bell rang just as we had finished planning who is going to do each part, we divided the work down the middle even though I offered to do the whole thing Scootaloo insisted we work as a team.

I decided to wait after everypony left so I could see what was wrong with Miss Cheerilee, even though I was fairly sure I had a rough idea of what it could be. I soon noticed She hadn’t even looked up from her desk after everypony had finally left, so I shut the door myself and sat across from her desk and cleared my throat loudly.

This managed to rouse her out of her trance and as soon as she looked it was like a spark had been ignited, within a matter of seconds she launched over her desk tackling me to the ground.

“I didn’t know you would wait… I didn’t know if you even cared anymore.” She said frantically touching my face all over like she didn’t believe I was real.

“Of coarse I was going to wait, I care about you, and it definitely looks like you need some T.L.C.”

“So you do care about me?” She said sourly.

“Uh… yeah…”

She got off of me, and I knew where this was headed, “I have been hearing rumours Berry… You knew how I felt… why? Why not me?!” She shouted.

“Because I was confused!” I had to think on my hooves… It’s just one thing after another, but I knew Cheerilee would find out eventually, and I knew she would be hurt. Me and her have actually bonded more then any of the others I have fooled around with and all I have done is lead her on… it’s not like I didn’t like her… I was so confused and now that I have made this promise to myself I feel like I owe her, and I can’t do anything. The voice in my head was right… there are obstacles, I just don’t want to hurt anyponies feelings but no matter what I do or don’t do I am. Maybe this can be trial and error period… I mean I am in heat, ponies do stupider things don’t they? Probably not.

“Confused about what Berry?!” She pleaded.

“My feelings! No pony seems to be taking in my feelings right now…” I paused for a moment, “Well maybe they are trying but it seems no matter what I do I am hurting somepony in one way or another!” My heart was racing and anger started to erupt, I’d had enough. “Everything I do is wrong! And ends up hurting somepony even though I had no idea I was doing it! But I seem to owe a debt for it any way! I’m sick of it, no pony has ever treated me nice, or wanted me until now and still I feel like I’m getting treated like SHI-“

I was silenced mid-tantrum with a kiss, I reacted quickly and welcomed it, letting all my anger and tension flow through my lips into Cheerilee’s, I slowly but somewhat roughly lowered her to the floor. I started to furiously kiss up and down her neck, that’s when I heard it. It was so unexpected, so not what I needed right now.

“I love you.” She breathed into my mane.

I stopped, I didn’t know how to react, it was to sudden to be throwing that word around. She was my teacher, we could never have a relationship… this was doomed before it even began. What had I done? Was all I could think. I knew something like this would happen and yet I kept going. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew how she felt… I feel like I have used this vulnerable mare, and I don’t know what to say.

“Berry?” She must have sensed the tension… or maybe it was just me stopping almost immediately, “I-I didn’t mean it!”

She started to cry, I stroked her mane out of her face “I’m sorry…,” I said as I pulled her in for a hug, “I think we both need time to process our feelings… and right now, I am the last pony you want to be in love with… I will do nothing but hurt you Cheerilee.”

She whaled loudly, “No you won’t! And I don’t care!”

“But you do care, otherwise you wouldn’t have been such a mess today,” she sniffled, “I tell you what, Tomorrow when I see you, you better be as chipper and lively as the first day I met you, if you are I will reward you.”

“N-no games?” She asked cautiously… in my defence I was hurt by this, but I knew where she was coming from.

“No games.” I kissed her on the forehead and helped her up.

She walked me to the door, “I will see you tomorrow then?”

“Yes! See you then.” I gave her a quick hug and left.

I liked how slow I was taking it with Cheerilee, but I had my reasons. One of those being it was illegal.

I made my way into town, and I had a tough decision to make. Library or Boutique?
I pondered for a moment, I really wanted to go to the library to see how Twilight was, but I felt as if I knew I wouldn’t like what I heard if I went there. I also wanted to go ask Rarity on that date I owed Sweetie Belle but I knew I would be in for a beating for some reason.

I sighed loudly and decided I would make my way for the Boutique, I passed a little Bakery on the way and thought maybe I should get her a cupcake… who doesn’t like cupcakes?

I entered the shop and was surprised to see so many ponies in her, must be a special on or something. That was when I noticed all the balloons, and suddenly felt as if I were intruding. Which I was. It seemed to be one of the filly’s in town Birthday today and this was her party.

“WELCOME!” A pink pony bounced in my face and then suddenly gasped, “I haven’t met you before! Oh, wow! A new friend, I new today would be my lucky day, my name is Pinkie Pie, but all my friends call me Pinkie and now you’re my friend, HOORAY!” she started to spin me around and around.

“S-stop, or I’m gonna be… sick!” she stopped just in time.

“What’s your name?!” She bounced.

“PassionBerry.” I said whilst still holding my stomach, “Is the bakery open?”

“Sure is!”

“Who do I talk to, to get a cupcake?”

Pinkie reached around and held out on her hoof a Purple frosted cupcake, “Here you go, first ones free!”

I grabbed the cupcake, “Wow thankyou so much, and it is perfect!” I don’t know why I did it but I did, I grabbed Pinkie and pulled her in for a short hug, to which she seemed almost giddy with happiness over.

“No. ThankYOU! By the way you smell pretty-“

“Pinkie! We need that cake stat!” a pony yelled for somewhere in the party.

“Gotta go, see you soon PassionBerry!” She waved by to me then seemed to disappear into thin air.

“Bye?”

Having now acquired what I had come in for I continued my journey to Carousel Boutique, and hoped desperately that Rarity was their.

When I arrived at the Boutique the sign on the door was flipped to closed, but that didn’t stop me the other day, so I pushed forth. Entering the Boutique I noticed straight away that there was an odd feeling within, and that feeling was coldness. It didn’t see as lively as it had the lat I walked in, I thought about calling out for somepony but something in the back of my mind stopped me. I spent ten minutes searching for sign of life throughout rooms, but found nothing, until I came across a set of stairs leading up to what looked like her room.

I opened the door gently and looked around, it was dark and cold within the room, and it smelled of dead flowers. I then saw her, lying on her bed, she looked frazzled and worn out from what looked like too much crying. I sighed quietly. What had I done? She was very cold, so I magically picked her up and tight tucked her under the blankets. She sighed happily either at this or a dream she was having.

I then hopped into bed with her, but not for a perverted reason, because she was still cold and I wanted her to be warm. I didn’t want her to get sick over this. Almost instantly she wrapped herself around me and even though her coldness stung at first we were both warm within no time.

Looking down at her, I started to stoke her messy mane out of her face, I smiled softly, she was still one of the most beautiful mares I had ever seen. She started to stir in her sleep so I decided to do something I hadn’t done in a long while. Sing.

“Shh, Everything is perfect,
Everything is fine.
I’m beginning to suspect,
That you are destined to Shine,
If only I could protect you,
If only I could save you,
Then maybe you wouldn’t be so…
Blue.”

I noticed her twitch a little, so I stopped.

Then she snapped up and awake, “Berry!”

“ME!” I shouted back.

“What are you doing?” She asked shocked, but I noticed even though she seemed shock at my apparent appearance she hadn’t stopped clinging to me.

“I came over to ask you something, and I noticed you weren’t downstairs so I-“

“You let yourself in again, and came into my bedroom?! And jumped in bed with me!”

“Yeah when you say it like that it sounds bad, but you looked so cold so I tucked you in but that didn’t warm you so I thought I would keep you warm until you woke up.”

She looked as if she was about to yell at me again, but stopped herself, “Thankyou.”

“I got you a cupcake.” I said taking the cake from the bedside table and hoofing it to her.

“Thankyou Berry,” She blushed, “I wasn’t planning for visitors… and certainly didn’t expect to see you…” She paused for a moment, then her attitude changed and she for a brief moment seemed disgusted by me and backed away but not leaving the bed, “Not after our last meeting. What did you want?”

I suddenly felt nervous… too nervous, “I umm… I was wondering… I-if you would u-umm-“

“What!” She yelled impatiently.

I gulped hard. I didn’t want to do this anymore, maybe Sweetie Belle would understand… She wouldn’t. I had to do this. “Would you go on a date with me?”

She pondered this for a moment, and for a moment my heart thumped so hard in my chest I thought it was trying to make a break for it.

Without warning she threw her hooves around my neck and pulled me in for a kiss, it felt sloppy, and greedy and even dirty. It didn’t feel right. And that’s because it wasn’t right.
She started to cry into the kiss and I had to force her off of me.

“What’s wrong?” I asked as I stroked her cheek.

“You. Me. Everything! Why? Why did you come back?” She pleaded.

“I-I… I’m sorry?” This wasn’t making sense, “I came back to see how you were, I came back to ask you out on a date because that is what your sister wants…” I blurted it out without thinking.

“She wanted you to ask me out on a date? She hasn’t spoken to me since she saw me with you, but she wants you to go on a date with me! PassionBerry, do you actually want to or was all of that fake? The cupcake, the tucking me in and even singing to me?”

“So you did hear it? And none of it is fake, I thought you would hate me after everything that happened, I thought asking you on a date would end in me hurt-“

“You hurt!? I can’t stop thinking about you. Did you do something to me? I have never felt like this before…”

She started to sob uncontrollably, I pulled her close to me hugging her head against my chest as I felt her tears soak into my coat. “I’m sorry… it seems I’m a total mess up. I have hurt so many ponies.” I felt tears in my eyes, “All my life I have wanted somepony to love me. I have wanted anypony to even like me, and now that I do it seems I just keep hurting them.”

Now it was my turn to start crying uncontrollably. And once I started, she started to even harder. The more we wept the closer I held her to myself. After a long while she sniffled and looked up at me.

“I could see myself falling in love with you PassionBerry.” She gave a hearty laugh, “But for some reason I think it is doomed before it even starts.”

I laughed through a sniffle, “You think?”

“I know. Plus with a mane like that I don’t think I could be seen in public with you.” She nudged jokingly.

“Have you looked in a mirror recently?” I teased.

Her eyes widened in shock at her own realisation on her appearance, “Oh my! I cant believe you are seeing me like this!”

She tried to rush away, but I held onto her, “You look fine I was just kidding.” She blushed, “Anyway I guess I should be on my way… are you sure I can’t take you on a date?” I asked getting off the bed and waggling my eye brows.

She sighed, “As tempting as it is, I really must move on as hard as it is. For the sake of Sweetie and well… yeah…”

She got up and made her way to her little bathroom. “Well I’m going for a shower now dear, it was nice to clear things up with you, and don’t worry, now that I have closure I should be able to cope. You really are something Miss Berry.” And then she disappeared into her bathroom.

In the back of my mind a voice was yelling at me to go join her, that that was what she wanted. But that voice was tainted. It was not of my own thoughts… but yet it had so much willpower over me. What was happening. I felt as if I was losing control, and then I did, as my mind was telling my body to walk down the stairs and out of the Boutique, my body had a mind of its own as it started to head for the bathroom which now had the sounds of a shower echoing throughout the room. It was just as I reached the door I regained myself, and threw myself across the room crashing into the floor hard. I had to use magic to stop myself. I was fairly sure I had broken my hoof, but the pain blocked out the voice that had seemed to take over my body.

I quickly limped out of the room, with great difficulty made it down the stairs and out of the boutique. As I stood outside I finally examined my hoof. Yup broken. It had already bruised and swelled severely. I had no idea where the hospital was in the town, so I decided I would finally visit Twilight and maybe get directions to it.

The Library was fairly close, but walking on three legs was a pain in a behind. To make matters worse it was my front right hoof, and being a right hoof user I knew the next couple of weeks would be full of me using magic for everything. Growing up in the orphanage they trained the unicorns to not use their magic for every possible thing, they didn’t like it at all really or at least the pony that ran the orphanage didn’t. He didn’t like much of anything… except the pretty filly’s… He would always organise private meetings with them… He promised that they would be adopted after a private lesson. They always were almost as soon as they left. He never took me for one, he didn’t hate me. Just couldn’t stand me.

I made it to the library and knocked on the door with my broken hoof, “FUCK!” I yelled out, then almost instantly shut it. I had clumsily forgot for a split moment. My profanity can be forgiven okay!

Twilight opened the door, “Did you just swear Miss Berry?” she asked mockingly appalled.

“Let me in Bitch.” I said jokingly, and this earnt myself passage way to the couch and a giggle from her which for some reason made me blush.

“What’s up?” She asked.

“Well I was originally coming over to see how you were?” I waited patiently, even though my hoof throbbed I still had to ask.

“Well… She said she found it… cute? But she declined.” I noticed her bottom lip quiver, and her eyes water.

“Well, she doesn’t know what she is missing!” I said angrily, I didn’t understand why I was getting so worked up, maybe it was seeing my friend so hurt.

“It’s okay… I shouldn’t have tried to come between her and Fluttershy…” She said as tears began to fall freely down her face, and I now realised the mare she wanted was Rainbow Dash… and now I felt like this was all my fault, like I was the one that got her hopes up because of what I did with Fluttershy, “I’m such a bad friend!”

“No you aren’t, you had a crush… No pony can blame you for that, she would be lucky to have you.” I said and pulled her in for a hug (with my good hoof).

I seem to make a habit of ponies crying on me. Whilst holding onto a sobbing Twilight a sudden realisation hit me. Something I wasn’t able to think out aloud before now. The pony I had taken an interest in was Twilight. Holding her now I never wanted to let go. I wanted her to never cry again. I wanted to be the pony she admitted her love to. I loathed Rainbow Dash because of this, but only out of jealousy.

I breathed in the smell of Twilights mane, she still had that minty lavender scent I wanted to bury myself in. Losing myself in the moment of realisation and the familiarity of the unicorns scent, I leaned down and kissed the top of her head. It was only a small peck, but it stopped Twilight mid sob.

“B-berry?” She looked up at me.

Oh no… I lost myself… I didn’t think and now I have gone and ruined something again… I felt tears start to form and I was sick of crying in front of ponies today.

“I-I’m sorry!” I yelled, and rushed away from her like I might hurt her, “I didn’t mean it!”

“Berry! Wait!” She yelled after me but it was already too late.

I clumsily limped out of the Library. I didn’t know where I was going. I didn’t know where the hospital was. I just had to get away. I had to get away from everything… everypony. I made my way for home. By the time I had made it there I had gotten the hang of running on three hooves down pat.

The flower I left on the door step was now gone. I had almost forgotten about that, and now I regretted it. Just another pony to hurt… I thought.

As I entered my house, I crashed. Quite literally. I passed out.

Author's Note

Sorry I took so long to do this one, half way through, my computer died, and haven't been able to get a hold of a computer until now. Feel free to leave an opinion on this chapter. Sorry it is a bit rough.
Don't worry will be finishing this story soon :)

Enjoy.