Smiling Glitches
Chapter 1
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(Everfree Forest)
“AAaah!” I screamed as I sat up from where I was laying. I then quickly check my chest for the gunshot hole. Thankfully there is none. Not even the blood that had poured out of that hole was there.
I then lay back down while giving a sigh of relief. While failing to notice that I puff out a small puff of green smoke. “Thank god. That was just a dream.” I said to myself. But then I plase and sat back up again. “Wait a minute. Why is my voice so different now?” I asked myself knowing for a fact that my voice doesn’t sound like a cartoon character.
I then took a look at my surroundings and it seems that I am in a cartoon like forest at night time. “Oh please don’t tell me that I am at where I think I am at.” I said as I got to my feet and looked around a bit more in a little panic. But then I got my answer when I looked up at the moon and saw that there was a pony head on it. “I am in Equestria.” I said as I calm down because I know what this means.
There is no mistake about it. I have been displaced and I have become DogDay. The cartoon version of him since I am not as tall or taller than the trees. And I kind of have mixed feelings about this right now. Like on one hand I want to punch that Mechant for displacing me and taking me away from everyone I cared about. But on the other hand I want to shake her hand for saving my life because if she didn’t displace me then I would be pushing up daisies right now.
“Ok focus. Now judging by that there is a pony head on the moon. I must be at a point before episode 1 of season 1.” I said to myself as I looked at the moon again. Only to find that the pony head is no longer on the moon. “Make that the end of episode 1 and the beginning of episode 2 of season 1.” I said with a deadpan look on my face as I started to walk in a random direction.
Now I know which point in time I am at right now. I need to get moving. Because it will not take long before the main 6 come into this forest to search for the Elements of Harmony. And that’s a canon event I don’t want to get in the way of.
Just then I hear some footsteps coming from behind me. So I quickly jump into the nearby bushes while leaving a small hole for me to see through. Then minutes later there was a group of 10 ponies walking into the view stop near my bush. There are a couple things about them that I can tell by looking at them.
One is that they are all anthro ponies. So that tells me what version of Equestria I am in right now. Two is that they are all wearing dark blue cloaks with crescent moons on them. Witches tell me that they are a cult that worships Nightmare Moon. And finally three and to me is that they all give off the momma and daddy issues vides.
“Hurry up lads!” Said the one in front of the group with a cloak that is shinier than the others. He must be the leader of this cult. “We must get to the castle of the royal pony sisters before the sun witch’s pet and her sun loving friends do.” The cult leader said as they continued walking in the direction of the castle.
Minutes later I came out of the bushes and looked at the path the cultists took. “That’s not good.” I said with a worried look on my face since I noticed that they have weapons hiding under their cloaks. “I got to stop them from carrying out their deadly ambush on the main 6.” I said as I started to follow the cultists.
Because if they stopped the main 6 from getting the Elements of Harmony. Not only will it ruin the canon event but it will doom the whole planet. “But how am I going to stop 10 armed ponies? I am small, unarmed and outnumbered. If only I was the bigger body DogDay. I would have a chance.” I said just as my sun pendant started glowing. And after a flash I hit my head on one of the high tree branches.
“Ouch!” I said while rubbing my head before noticing that I am now as tall as the trees. “Whoa! How did this..? (sigh) No this can wait. Getting rid of the Nightmare Moon cult comes first.” I said as I took a deep breath readying myself for what I must do. But when I breathed out I was surprised when green smoke came out of my mouth.
“Ok. I will add this to the pile of questions I might try to figure out later. But right now. I can use this to smoke the cultists out before I wreck them.” I said as I started to run as fast as I could while avoiding the tree branches.
Minutes later.
By the time I reached the group they were in the middle of building a quick bridge with logs and magic. Thankfully they haven’t seen or heard me coming. Which is perfect for me because I can use my green smoke in one spot. And with that I began breathing out the green smoke onto the cultists.
“Hey. Where did all this ,hehehe, green fog coming ,hehehe, from? Asked one of the cultists who was starting to giggle from the green smoke.
“I don’t know. Hehehe But it smells like vanilla. Hehehehe” Said another cultist who is also starting to giggle.
Not long after that up to nine of them are giggling. And then after a minute the giggling became full of laughter. This has finally got the leader’s attention. “What’s so funny?” The leader demanded as he turned around so he could give his followers an earful. Only for him to spot me through the green smoke. “The Sun Witch has sended a monster after us! Hehehe Kill it! Hehehehe” He commanded while he started to giggle himself.
While 4 of the followers have drawn their swords and shaking charges at me. The other 5 have already fallen to their knees while holding their stomachs from the non stop laughter.
“For the canon event.” I quietly said as I dodge the first sword swing and then I sent one of 4 followers flying with a punch to the face. I then jump up high to avoid a stab from the second follower. And I give him a good old goomba stomp and crush him.
I then hear a static sound from behind me. When I turn around to see the third follower laying on the ground still laughing but is now having trouble breathing. “Hmm. It seems that my green smoke has the same effect as the Joker venom.” I said as I quickly turned around and grabbed the fourth follower by the neck and crushed his windpipe.
“Hehehehe. Monster! Hehehe How dare you get in the way of ‘hehehe’ protecting Nightmare Moon! Hahahaha!” The leader arrogance said through his own laughter. In fact he is the only one laughing now since his last remaining followers have died from their own laughter. And they all have nightmarish grins permanently glued to their faces.
“Nothing personal mate. But I can’t have you nut jobs interrupt a canon event.” I said just as the leader moved his hood to reveal that he is a unicorn and started firing magic at me.
I didn’t have to dodge much because he couldn't focus his shots because he was laughing too much. But then one of those shots got too close to my left leg. And by too close, I mean it burned some of my furr. I then look at the leader feeling angry.
“Now it’s personal.” I said as I picked a sword from one of the dead followers. I was willing to wait until he died from laughing. But since he burned my leg he dies now.
The DogDay from the game lost his legs to CatNap. I will not let this dork get away with damaging mine.
And with that I sliced the leader’s head off which caused his blood to spray everywhere. After about 15 seconds his headless body falls to the ground in a pool of his own blood.
After about a minute of silence I dropped the sword, and then I went to empty out the contents of my stomach onto the ground. “Oh God! I can’t believe I actually did all this.” I said while I was puking. Since this was the first time I killed a real life person.
Seeing my Uncle Jimmy and the mafia kill other gangs and rats is one thing. But to take lives myself. It leaves me wondering how they handled their kills. But at the end of the day I knew I had to do it. Because if I didn’t then Nightmare Moon’s eternal night would have doomed the planet.
After a couple more minutes of puking and another flash, from my sun pendant, I am back to my small cartoon DogDay self again. (sigh) “I am glad that’s done.” I said before I put my hands on my head, and closed my eyes, in pain of a huge headache that came out of nowhere.
QuEst CoMPleTE!
KiLl NiGhtmAre MOOn CuLTIsts.
[10/10]
ReWARd!
BaG of HOLding!
“Quests? Rewards? What the hell?!” I asked myself if the headache goes just as fast as it came. And when I open my eyes I see a small brown bag on the ground among three other things.
They are an old TV and an old video player. They look like the same models that were used in the Poppy Playtime game. The last item is a videotape with the words ‘How to use a bag of holding’ on it.
“Ok. I am not going to question this.” I said as I put the videotape into the player.
It then started playing the familiar tune that the game used when showing how to use the grab pack and its hands. The video then shows basic stuff that any video game’s bag of holdings. The video also shows that if I want to put a lot of items in the bag in a hurry, I can say ‘suck in’ and the bag will suck lot of the items in 10 seconds flat. And I can say ‘blow out’ and the bag will blow out the items just as quickly.
The last bit of the video shows that in the event of the bag being misplaced or gets stolen. I can summon the bag to my hand just like you do with a keyblade. So that is very handy.
Once the video is finished the TV and the video player disappear in the form of static electricity. “Damn. I wanted to see if the TV had any working channels on it.” I was annoyed just as I heard someone crying from the west side of the river. “Hmm. I guess the main 6 must have just met that Streven Magnet guy.” I said knowing that this means that the main 6 are this close to the castle now.
“Good to know. Now then it’s time for a quick wash before I begin looting the dead cultists.” I said since I am still covered in blood. So I quickly went into the cold river to wash off the blood before it dried.
While I was in the river I didn’t notice a small static sound of my sun pendant turning into a lightbulb pendant. Followed by a bigger static sound.
(Don Bubba Bubbaphant)
(sigh) “Now that was refreshing.” I said as I climbed out of the river. I then turn to look at my reflection in the river to see if I missed a spot. But what looked back at me wasn’t DogDay but a blue elephant known as Bubba Bubbaphant.
“What the hell?! Wasn’t I DogDay not too long ago?” I asked myself in surprise and confusion. Because I know for a fact I was DogDay when I woke up in this forest. But then why are my memories telling me I was cosplaying as Bubba Bubbaphant at comic con before being displaced?
I then looked at the reflection again just to be sure I wasn’t seeing things. But then I saw my whole body being covered in glitchy static.
(Don Hoppy Hopscotch)
“WHAaa!?” I yelled as I jumped back in surprise due to seeing myself turn into the green rabbit known as Hoppy Hopscotch. “Ok! Now I know I wasn’t imagining things!” I said just as my eyes wiped in realisation.
Oh god! Not only my memories of the con have changed again. But all my memories of my time back on earth have changed as well. What changed you may ask. Well.. I now remember that I was a girl back on earth instead of being a boy.
I don’t know why these parts of my memories keep changing every time I glitched into a different smiling critter.
Glitches?
What kind of displace am I?
A Glitch Displace maybe?
I then start to shake my head to help me focus. Because I know that I am going nowhere by asking these kinds of questions. “Ok. This is something I just have to roll with for now on. Right now I am going to loot.” I said as I picked up the bag of holding and began to loot the dead bodies.
These dead cultists haded a lot of things on them. Weapons, ropes, foods, drinks and some fancy little bags of money. These dorks must have come from noble families. Also the leader had a magical map that shows you where you are in Equestria. Thanks for the starter pack Nightmare Moon dorks.
Once I finished putting my loot into my bag of holding I then looked at the dead bodies. “Now. What to do with you deadbeats?” I asked myself knowing for a fact that the families of these cultists will be paying a petty penny to have them found. Plus Uncle Jimmy had once told me. That if you ever wreck somebody. Then you better know how to get rid of the body so the police can’t find it.
I could just leave the bodies here and let the wild animals eat them. But there is a risk of a future search party, the cmc or Zecora finding the remains and reporting it. Or I could go bigger body Hoppy and eat them myself. After all, in the game the bigger toys had eaten all of the Playtime Co employees. So eating 10 ponies should be no problem.
While I was thinking. I hear the static again.
(Don PickyPiggy)
(sigh) “Ok. Who did I glitched into this time?” I asked myself before I checked my comic con memories. And it looks like I have become PickyPiggy. I then looked at the first body as I licked my lips. It seems that glitches have made the choice for me.
So when in Rome, you pig out. “Bigger body.”
To Be cONtINue
Author's Note
It's lunch time for our main character.
But what happens next?
Find out next time.
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