Holding Onto The Crutch We Call Life

Chapters

Just Say "I Know" And Let Me Stay
🇨🇦🇳 𝚠𝚎 fix 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬
Like A Two-Way Mirror
I Know Better Now
How We Say Goodbye
Is It Just Me?
Is It Us?
Into The Foray, Where The World Don't Feel So Dark
Trust Me
I'll Be The Crutch To Hold Your Grief
Tear Down My Walls, I Don't Need Them Now
Where You Go, Oh, I'll Follow
Come Close And Keep Your Eyes On Me
Shred Those Feelings, Stay Lost Instead

Just Say "I Know" And Let Me Stay

The Cafe Affair - Anon’s Perspective

It’s complicated. At least, that’s what I thought. Reflecting back on it, it wasn’t at all. Maybe I’m being unfair to her, to myself, to us, and maybe that’s really what’s going on here. Not that she’s the only point in all this. She isn’t the thing I can point to with a finger in the book we call life and just endlessly graze over her name as if it was a fond memory. No, she’s only the beginning of my realizations, Starlight.

On a day like this, gray as can be, we went out as friends. She found some time in her already loaded schedule to meet up with me. Princesses usually worked their tails off, unlike the ones back in my world. They really like listening to everyone else’s problems, just to poof them away like they were farts in the wind—yeah, yeah, not appropriate, but am I wrong? No? Good—anyway, either she poofed them away or she resolved them through other means that didn’t involve her magic. She wasn’t the type to raise her hooves to fight hoof-to-hoof, but if the action led to a swift knockout, I could see her doing that. She sure did that to me, with what words she was capable of saying at that time. Whatever way she took, she made logic appear as the basis, and everything else would follow suit.

I fell into that way of thinking about her. It was subtle at first: noticing how she looked at me, how she walked in the halls to greet me every morning, and how she, for some reason, had a gift for me every month. Something to remind me of home? I don’t know, the simple gestures meant a lot and they really… they really made me think differently about her. I found that I had fallen long ago. Few months in. She was so beautiful. Her smile when she saw me, her smile when she saw us in a photo, her smile when we went out…

She wore it the same that day. Trip to the cafe to get a quick bite to eat. Sitting down to get served—it was one of the only few joints in Canterlot that she wanted to take me to. You know which one, I think—anyway, we got our seats. Then our waitress arrived. We ordered.

And this was where it started.

I looked over at her. She was fumbling with her silverware, her utensils trapped in her magic. Something was out of place.

“Anon, why did they give us a salad fork when we didn’t order salad?”

Anon shrugged. “Probably customary in these joints.”

She hummed and rubbed her chin with a forehoof. “Probably? Hmm... maybe it's more like a tradition."

“I'm not a silverware connoisseur like they are, Twilight. I’m more of a sporkin' type a guy. An all-in-one utensil. Too lazy for these ones." I lifted them up in return: a fork, a slightly smaller fork, an even smaller fork—I don’t know why there’s so many forks, don’t ask, Starlight!—a big spoon, a normal sized spoon, a slightly smaller spoon, a butter knife, and a luncheon knife.

…

Did you just ask how I knew it was a luncheon knife but I don’t know what a serving spoon is? Starlight, I’m just telling you this story about how I was the utensil hoarder because the waitress thought I needed the whole silverware pack and then some! Ask her when you go there next—wait, you don’t know the cafe I’m talking about? It’s something called Le Cul Malodorant, I don’t know, it sounds fancy but painful at the same time. Probably butchered the pronunciation out back with a serving spoon but who cares, right? Wait, they do? Crap. Uhhh… I’ll use the luncheon knife next time. Whatever.

Anyway! Let’s talk about the real scoop here. Twilight. She was looking at me with that head tilt she’d give someone when they’re not making sense. And then her ears would do that twitching thing and splay against her nape—yeah, that!—and then she’d raise that brow uncontrollably, before she’d finally open her mouth to say something. Something like:

“You’d totally think that way.”

I threw my hands up at the time, but I should’ve put on a show or something. I should’ve given those ponies a reason to look at us. Whatever, it’s in the past. “Is that a problem, Miss Sparkle?”

She rolled her eyes and let out a huff. “No, but get rid of the titles. You should know that by now.”

“Well you are a Princess and now a teacher to… Starlight, right?”

“Of course,” Twilight had said—wait, are you upset at me that I hesitated there? Do you really blame me?

…

Exactly. Let me finish this. Anyway, she said her piece or whatever, and then I go, “Then no harm no foul. But I get you. Titles get boring after a while.”

“And this is why I like you, Anon.”

At the time, my heart leapt nearly out of my chest. These stupid feelings of mine, they only grew with time. I shook my head, shaking whatever heart-stopping nonsense filled me, and I gulped down the rest. “Keep those compliments to a minimum. They’re radioactive.”

“I’ll let you imagine them instead,” she murmured, smirking. This type of back and forth was what we had all along, at least, it’s what I thought we had. And… it definitely led me on, leading me to believe she liked me more than what she said.

So, I asked her. I had to know.

“Imagine them, huh? So you got a stallion in your life?”

Her eyes widened. “Uhh… not sure what you mean by that.”

I smirked and twiddled my two fingee tendons over toward her, walking them on the surface of the table toward her outstretched forehoof. “Well, there has to be someone in your life that lets you get under your wings.” I punctuated my point by tapping on the outer edge of her hoof, only to see her face and retract them back toward me. “And with how you’re looking at me right now, it looks like you’re not with anyone.”

She sighed. “Yeah… I don’t have anyone, Anon.”

That… reaction made me pause. Those purple beady eyes of hers wore shock like it was in style, quivering in the light. I didn’t check to see her wings unfurled, a flirtatious signal very obvious to most ponies, especially if those wings were twitching. I didn’t see anything else on her face that indicated a want of me. Her lip quivering as her eyes darted elsewhere told me that she wanted out of this conversation more than anything else. Then, a gasp, a gasp that changed her entire structure. Her eyes grew wider somehow, while her jaw hung low. And a deep shaky breath escaped her before she closed her maw. It’s like that one breath sucked out what little air she had left. She took a deep breath and closed her maw, sucking in what little air she had left, while her ears twitched closer and closer to the sides of her head.

And then I noticed her further, zooming out with each snapshot I took. Her ears twitched as they folded back toward her nape. She squirmed in her seat. Her forehooves... they were shaking a bit, the most on the one I had touched prior.

My eyes widened.

She didn’t like my touch. She didn’t like this conversation.

She didn’t like me. She didn’t like me!

I took my arm back, holding it like I touched something that was scalding. “Uh… sorry. I think I made you uncomfortable and—”

“No!” she uncharacteristically shouted. It made a couple patrons look at us, probably for disturbing the peace. But then they looked away as we shared their curiosity of them, and everything went back to ‘normal’, except for me. Sweat raced down my cheeks and I wondered which tough pony cranked the thermostat ten degrees higher than it should be.

I’d never get that answer though. She made the first move.

“No, Anon. I… I need to talk to you about this.”

We need to talk.

She didn’t say the words like that specifically, but enough to remind me of those four words. No matter how they were spun, they were my kryptonite, a lover’s worst nightmare. Rarely did those words mean something positive. They always, always led to some sort of negative outcome. It was a course of action meant to be left unexplored, but now had to be explored because somebody slipped up. And in my case, it was me. It was actually me this time and that’s how it was going to be—okay, okay, Starlight, do not start glaring at me like I’m causing World War 3!

…

World Wars are bloody and I don’t need you asking that right now. History lesson of humans later, Twilight rejecting me again in 4k with everyone watching and prepping my gravestone now. Okay, maybe the gravestone is a bit overkill. They’ll put a cross instead—youch! Careful! I don’t have a biting kink, Starlight. Jesus H and M Christ.

…

Okay, I’ll stop! I’ll stop. Phew! Don’t bite me again. Please. I think you broke through my skin—oh, wait why are you licking me now?

…

Oh, you’re creating a salve. Nice. Leaves and pony slobber equals instant healing. Got it. Magic is sooooo good, ain’t it?

…

Whatever. While you’re nursing me by doing that, I’ll keep going. So, she said those words, and those words were awful. They left a pit in my stomach. A cherry pit to be exact. Nearly cracked my tooth on one of those. I tried biting into the pit that was metaphorically left there, but all I got was air and a ‘raise the brow highly on this one’ Twilight to boot. “Anon, are you okay?”

“I… I don’t know. Depends on what you want to talk about.”

“Right,” she intoned, keeping her timbre flatter than my chances of getting out of here without getting kicked square in the groin. Her eyes, once full of life, looked serious, void of those sparkles. Somehow, they were still pretty to me. Maybe I imagined a couple at the time, but they were clear as day void to me now. “I hate that I have to say this. We just got here, and I was hoping to talk to you to get my mind off of things, but…"

"But?"

Twilight threw her hooves in the air and groaned. "This is all my fault.”

“Your fault?”

“I have been forcing myself to put on a guise, one that is way more... flirtatious than I normally am. Have you noticed?”

“Flirtatious?”

“I don’t know,” Twilight began, twiddling with her forehooves as a rather dissatisfied harrumph aired itself out. “Rarity said it would get more stallions to notice me. Instead, no one else but you noticed, which was fine at the time, but then I noticed that you reciprocated more, and I thought maybe I needed to look at this from a different angle. Think of it like practicing. So I practiced on you to really understand how to do it, but it got me nowhere outside of you. No stallion wants me like that anyway—"

Seeing her muzzle scrunch up made me leap into action. “Stopping you right there. I’m not having any of that. Even if you’re sounding like you’re turning me down, I’m not letting you put yourself down in the process.”

“Really? Even though I’m—”

“I kind of figured it out with how you’ve said all this. No woman back on Earth would say those words without the intention of sending you on a one-way ticket back home.”

She… paused and licked her lips. A slight wince was visible on her face. I looked to her side and noticed one of her wings slightly unfurling. Was that a tic of hers? “I see… then, Anon, can you do me a favor?”

“Sure.”

Twilight gulped. “Can you say it to me?”

At first, I didn’t know what she was referring to. The anticipation was already ticking me down and I wasn’t really focused, but somehow I realized that she was referring to me confessing to her. I had this all written out in my head, a plan of sorts, but that’s what happens when not everything is scripted. That’s my fault, I should never expect things to work so fairytale-esque.

“Are you sure?”

Twilight nodded, leaning forward in case I decided to whisper them instead.

Fortunately for her, I was a fan of just saying things the way they should be. Blunt. At the right volume. The right tone.

“I like you, Twilight.”

She blushed momentarily, but coughed away her emotions, forcing herself to clear her throat. “I-I... guess we really needed to talk about this, then."

I hung my head and gulped in my emotions too. “Uh, I guess? Could you… spell it out just to be sure?”

She took a deep breath and stared at me with a determined gaze, brows furrowed. “I… I don’t like you like that, Anon. I’m sorry.”

I knew it was coming but I felt my heart stop beating, choosing to stay still as the words echoed in my ears. I’m sorry, I’m sorry you don’t like me like that. Is there something I can do to fix it? Anything? Maybe I had to try, right? But maybe I can’t. She said those four words… I—it’s not my fault, huh? Really? Is it?

…

Alright, alright! So, she didn’t stop there. She went back to that stallion point of hers, like it really stuck with her or something:

“I shouldn’t have done that when you’re not a stallion…”

I had kept those emotions hitched in the back of my throat, while I tilted my head at her, confused. She didn’t like me because I wasn’t a horse? “Is that mainly why?”

Another nod, this time more curt. “Mostly. Every mare wants a stallion, Anon.”

“Every… mare wants a stallion?”

I didn’t know what to say. I just listened to her as she spoke, “Mmhm. It’s part of our nature. We have to, since, well, there's not many stallions to go around. For every three mares, there's one stallion. Three, Anon. I know I’m leaving a lot of the love out of the equation right now, but the sciences give me what I need here. Science doesn’t let a mare go beyond her own species. So if they want to have a foal, they need to find a stallion, and nothing more.

“It’s not that I don’t like you as you, Anon. You’re… a great human. If you were an actual stallion, I’d be more inclined to reciprocate, but…” Her voice trailed off here for a moment, fiddling with her hair with a forehoof. She looked around and saw a couple ponies were staring at us, probably. I don’t know, I can’t remember much from that time, mostly because other ponies didn’t matter when the one who I cared for the most was putting me down in the most lopsided way possible. “But you’re not a pony. You’re a variable I can’t account for, one that won't allow me to have the future I want.”

“Guess this interspecies conundrum just adds to your stress, huh?”

“Exactly—wait, Anon, how did you—”

I felt a few streaks on my cheek, but I kept my composure. I held onto the table, gripping it tightly with one, while the other stayed close to my leg, pinching me just to make sure this was real. Trust me, I pinched hard. I wasn’t dreaming. It was happening, and it was real, if the pain that grew around my thigh was an indicator. "Twilight. I know you're stressed. We lived together, remember?"

She nodded, her gaze drifting elsewhere. "I know and—"

"Those were some good times. I... I felt great being there in the castle with you. It was good to just lie low some nights and read together."

She choked back on what I thought were her emotions. It could also be a bit of her salad. "Anon..."

"But now I know that me being here is causing you stress instead of helping you relax like I did back then, I… I think I need to hear everything else. So, Twilight..."

"Y-Yes, Anon?"

I gulped. "Tell me why you don’t like me like that, and tell me it straight.”

She was shaking now, almost like a leaf. "A-Are you sure?”

She tossed the question right back at me, like it was a game of Hot Potato and I was the one now holding it tightly, letting it sear my hands on purpose.

“Yes. I’m sure.”

Silence reigned for a moment, in our little bubble of ours. Surrounding us was the chaos of the cafe. This fancy one operated more like a restaurant: servers walking all around us, holding food. I think ours, some short stack with a silver mane and wings, was waiting somewhere. She probably sensed the situation and took a step back. Courteous, but I wished she just came up and stopped this. But another part of me knew that if I didn’t hear Twilight out, I’d be sick to my stomach.

I focused more on her and sighed. “You know, you could just—”

“You’re abrasive, Anon.”

“Abrasive?” I said with an eyebrow raised high. “How so?”

“You play around like everything’s a joke lately. A tease one moment, then a full frontal assault on my very existence the next. There’s no off button with you, and I tried figuring out why. At first, I chalked it up as you missing your family. I couldn’t imagine that happening to me, but if I was in your horseshoe—er, shoes, I suppose, I’d wonder if I could withstand it like you’ve had so far. At the same time, it didn’t seem to stem from that. You never mentioned any of it anyway, so I felt wrong to assume and gave up on attempting to see reason. It’s a flaw of yours for sure, and I just came to accept it as ‘Anon being Anon’ but I need to tell you that. You’re a great guy when you’re not being you in that way. Does that make sense?”

“I didn’t know you didn't—”

“And even if that flaw reared its head, I would be able to handle it… if you were a stallion. Love can change ponies, especially if by necessity. However, with you being a human, I… I don’t see how that could happen. Even if we somehow transformed you into a pony by some forbidden spell, like a changeling could, it wouldn’t change the fact you wouldn’t be able to sire me. Your chromosomes, those interconnecting pieces of code, those strings of you; they stay the same. You just morph into that and… it just makes you part of what could be, not what you truly are.”

“My humanity.”

“Exactly. I don’t want to rip your humanity from you. It’d be… not of you, not who you are. I can't just magic this away, and even if there was a potion in the natural world that could, it would only be temporary, and it could cause abnormalities that I don’t even want you to think about. I want you to be yourself, and for that to happen, I can't be with you. We can't fit in that space of friendship.”

“Fit in that space of friendship? Am I that unlikable, Twilight?”

Her muzzle scrunched up at that one. Must have hit it on the head.

“Attraction-wise? Unfortunately, it’s a toss-up. As a friend? No, not entirely.” She sighed. “You’re dependable when you need to be, and when you’re not joking around, you actually care about other ponies. But those jokes… and that lack of care, they’re glaring, Anon. Not to mention your deep-seated desire to just throw in the towel, it… it makes you jaded. Your decisions are scattered. One moment, you’re fine. You’ll be nice to my friends. You’ll pay attention to what everypony is saying. You’ll be so intune with us that I’m shocked you’re even there. You’ll do everything right. And then when it comes to you and I, there’s… something. A spark, and then nothing. You felt it too, right?”

“I don’t know what you mean, Twilight. I always felt a spark.”

“Then it was only me that felt that way…” She hummed to herself as her voice faded off momentarily. She took a moment to crack her neck before fluttering her eyes closed.

I watched as she just existed. Was she waiting for me to say something?

I shrugged. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

She opened her eyes and frowned. “You really can’t say much. It’s already decided. Whenever I include you as a variable in this equation I have mapped out in my head, everything goes wrong. You’re not part of the solution, Anon. And neither am I. But…” She paused and bit her lip before continuing, “I’m selfish, in a way. I don’t want you to be far from me, but I can’t have you close like that either. It always ends with heartbreak.”

“How did you figure this all out, Twilight?”

“How?” she asked with a head tilt.

“How do you know that we won’t work out? Do you have some magical machine mumbo-jumbo that simulates us together and we just… argue or kill each other?”

“No. Just numbers and observations, Anon. With how you behave, I think I'd have to dictate more time to you just to make us work and... with you not being a stallion..." She dropped off momentarily, giving her head a bit of a shake. "Sorry, I'm all over the place right now. There's so much to say and I feel like I'm rambling right now.”

“I know. Lots of analysis, huh?"

"Of course. I'm analytic, you know that."

"To a fault…” I murmured, flipping a fork in-between my fingers. The fork lands unceremoniously on the table, clattering against its lifeless shell.

She glared at me for that one, but then her expression softened too. “I guess I am. I... I'm sorry I made you feel this way."

My heart ached as she said those words. Apologizing so quickly after rejecting me... She didn't deserve to say that at the time. Right, Starlight?

…

Alright, I’ll get to the end here. There’s not much left.

“I don’t think that’s how that works, Twilight. You can’t feel sorry for someone you just turned down in the most hammerfisted way.”

She shrugged with her wings, before they fell back to her sides. “I can’t help it. I’m apologetic in the worst of times too. Such a great friend, aren’t I?”

“Yeah…”

At this point, my stomach was clawing out, not due to hunger, but to try and stamp out what little emotions I had left for her. I didn’t want them escaping. I didn’t need her grief.

That’s what I told myself.

“So, this is the end?”

“The end of what?”

“Of us.”

“Not in the friendly—”

“Twilight,” I growled out. Her ears stood at attention, but as I spoke, they splayed against her head. “I don’t want to be friends with someone who just shot my heart in a back alley with her analysis of my being. You either have me or you don’t. And from what you told me, you don’t want me, which is fine. I can’t hold you to my feelings. They’re mine alone, I guess… What I’m trying to say is I need a break from you. A long one, one that’ll give me enough time to… to get over you, to get over us.”

Twilight looked at me sorta gobsmacked, like I just smacked her in the face with my hand. She must’ve realized that the anger she so criticized had been boiling to a point that she could recognize it on my face. Her red blush probably burned the tears away. “Whatever makes you happy, Anon. That’s all I would want.”

What would’ve made me happy was her saying yes. If she did, would that have been torture to her? Most likely. I… I didn’t want that for her. So, I gave her the ultimatum that ultimately left me alone.

“That’s… that’s good to hear.”

She cleared her throat. “Well, I’m sorry about all this. I can pay—"

“No, Twilight. Don't worry about it. We didn’t even really order anything, so I’ll pay if they ask.”

“You’ll pay?”

I nodded. “Sure. I don’t want you to feel burdened by my mistake.”

“It wasn’t a mis—” She stopped as my gaze probably told her what she needed to see. She nodded curtly once more, before exiting to my right, rushing out the door.

The chime above it sounded off, leaving my last view of her mane bouncing away.

The waitress came by to see me. "Are you okay, sir?”

I don’t remember what I said. I don’t remember what I did. I don’t remember how I got back home. I think I cried my way out or something. I don’t know. It’s all a blur at that point.

I remember back home there was a saying about this. Something about not crying over spilled milk. It’s not worth it, it’s not something you want to have happen. There was this other one too, something about there being other fish in the sea. The classics, they never failed to stay consistent.

Unfortunately, I never had experienced them. I never felt like I had to use them. I… This was the first time I spilled the milk. God does it suck to clean it up. I tried a lot of things. Used a box of tissues I had at home. Then I used the rags. They scratched a bit at the skin.

It… It sucks to hear that you’re not worth it to someone. It would’ve been fine if she rejected me, but it’s more than that. Much more than that. I wasn’t worth a damn thing at that point. I was just a human, a subspecies. That’s all I’d ever amount to in her eyes. In all mares' eyes, apparently.

So there it is. That’s the situation, Starlight. I hope this makes sense to you—

Author's Note

Gotta drop one per chapter. Inspo for those who care.

Edits completed on January 2nd, 2025.

🇨🇦🇳 𝚠𝚎 fix 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬

01 - TS

I don’t know why I’m doing this. Probably because of Spike. He gave me this specifically visible ink, from Quills and Sofas and said 'try it, it'll give you some closure'. And here I am, hoping that this ink actually works, so that no pony else could read this without knowing how to bring the ink out fully. Oh well, hopefully this doesn't go into the wrong pony's hooves.

Egh.

Part of me doesn't even want to do this. To not even bother. While the other part, a much stronger part, does want to do this.

I’m… a mess. I put on a strong face in front of every pony because they need me. That’s how this all works. I’m a Princess. That’s my role, the one of friendship.

And yet, I lost two friends recently.

The first is an alien. He’s kind of tall. Kind of confused, perpetually, but silly and nice…

And the second is a friend of mine that I brought up from being obsessed with cutie marks and being overall evil.

I have a tendency to attract some evil ponies, or…

Anon.

I don’t know how to address you.

This feels awful.

I am sorry that I hurt you. It’s not your fault. It’s mine.

Starlight, please don’t leave me. Don’t hate me for what I did.

I don’t…

This is stupid. I can’t.

I’m done.

Yet why can’t I put the quill down?

I hope someday you will both forgive me.

Author's Note

Song for the chapter:

Like A Two-Way Mirror

Anon’s House - In The Middle of Bumfuck Nowhere (Just Kidding, It’s Ponyville [Same Thing])

Gray: a faint color on the ceiling. That’s what Anon E. Mous was staring up at, wondering how it got this way.

…

No, no, that wasn’t what he was thinking about! Besides, his full name was too goofy sounding. Most just called him Anon, while some called him Mous. He didn’t know exactly why some wanted to call him Mous. It was probably because it sounded like moose, and who wouldn’t want to be called that? Unless they hated moose in general. Eh…

He sighed and licked his lips. Sometimes he was called Nonny by that pink horse down at the bakery (Sugarcube Corner to be exact, it was too many syllables for him to say as of late). She was quite the hyperactive one, what with all her cheeriness and everything. Not to mention her sweets cravings were off the charts! Thankfully, most ponies weren’t hyperactive like her. They were usually happy, but mellow. Calm, somewhat collected, and sometimes even upset, but those times were rare. They were kinda like him but not as much. In fact, they… they were—

“Anon, I know you’re in there!”

Okay, he lied. He lied like the weasely little liar he was. They were not like him at all.

Outside his red front door, the one he had repainted just last week when he wasn’t feeling so keen on staring poetically at his ceiling, was Starlight Glimmer. He still had to fix the door’s hinge; the thing ached more than he did. Maybe if he had some proper WD40 it wouldn’t screech, but that wasn’t his fault. Ponyland didn’t have it mass produced in droves like back home. Here, the damn thing was on backorder with no end in sight.

Anon folded his arms behind him and locked his hands together. He placed them behind his head, before he shut his eyes and reclined back in his rocking chair. It creaked softly as he moved, letting himself drift while he imagined himself fixing the pesky door. He smiled as it no longer did that little squeak when it swung open. It was great… for the moment. Then he flicked his gaze over to the door again.

Even if he had fixed the screeching hinge, he still had the door jam. That door jam… it was even worse than the hinge! The door rattled aggressively whenever someone ran into it or closed it rather harshly—SLAM!—like Starlight did just now.

Egh. He didn’t want to move. He was too comfortable in his living room, rocking gently in his chair. Most importantly, he was safe from whatever was outside for now. Unless she decided to use her magic. In that case—

“Don’t you dare ignore me, Anon!”

He cracked his neck and wondered if he could snap it instead so that way he didn’t have to hear her incessant—

“Go home, Starlight.”

His voice had sparred with his mind, which the first beat the latter effortlessly without any noticeable fervor, so those words escaped his mind and left his lips without a second thought, leaving him to wonder what was next while his nerves were shot to the stratosphere.

Why had he said those words to her? Was he just fed up with her pleas? How long had she been there?

He gulped down what nerves claimed stake in his throat, while he bit his lip in anticipation for what was to come. And boy did she respond, if the few hoof taps rapping against his front door had anything to say about his ‘reply’.

“And leave you all alone? If I did that, I’d be committing friendship fraud in the third degree!”

“Then commit it,” Anon said dryly. “I was just fine on my own until—”

“Lying isn’t the best policy, y’know!” She tapped on the door again, making it rapt in a way that made Anon cringe. “You haven’t been at work in a few days. This isn’t like you!”

Much to his surprise, Starlight was right. It had been a few days since he last stepped into Mayor Mare’s office. Last time he stepped foot in there, he had helped her with… something. Wasn’t a big project, but it was enough to get her moving forward on some referendum. Anon partially blamed it on his brain-bleached mind. He remembered he had gotten home to drink his homemade ‘Forget The Day’ juice (aka beer). He may have had copious amounts of it, enough to stop counting after three.

A typical celebration of a job well done… for a human like him. Either that or it went horribly wrong that he needed to forget about it. Anon couldn’t remember which one happened that day.

He frowned and got off his chair. The rocker rocked alone in his absence while he crept towards the door, staring at it with as much intensity as the ceiling earlier. Unlike the ceiling, this pony outside his front door deserved the attention. Not because Starlight was important. No, it was because she was annoying, and from it sounded like she wasn’t keen on giving up so easily.

Anon could only recall how many times he’s interacted with her directly… on one of his hands. They weren’t too close. She had always been busy with the School of Friendship, while he had been stuck being Twilight’s experiment, subsequent servant (at the time, rough job caused by a lost bet), and soon-to-be unemployed best friend. Then he became employed because Twilight had connections… whatever that meant.

And then there was Starlight: the one who greeted him with a smile and waved to him like a penguin from Madagascar. Yes, she was just like them, if they were transformed into ponies. They may have talked about human and pony nonsense at one point, but he couldn’t remember too much about that conversation. He didn’t really remember much about what they talked about. He did recall Starlight being incredibly thankful she was no longer obsessed with cutie marks. She also was really happy to not only find friendship, but also help other ponies find it too.

Was this the end result of catching Twilight’s brainworms? Anon didn’t know. He wasn’t good at getting infected, and he wasn’t good at naturally finding friendship either. If only he had consulted her before he—

“A-Anon… please, j-just come to the door.”

Maybe that’s why she’s here? Did she have some epiphany that he was in desperate need of therapy so she galloped on over to give him a Starlight-approved intervention? Anon scratched his head and answered her with… confusion, “And what will that get me?”

“What?”

Her voice cracked. Just like when she said please. And his name. It seemed that Starlight, in this very moment, was the newly crowned Princess of Voice Cracks, either that or she was upset and she was struggling to get the words out. In Anon’s humble opinion (earnestly), Starlight needed to stop sounding this way. It wasn’t good for her health.

Much like how it wasn’t doing him any favors staying here like a bump on a log?

…

A soft exhale grazed Anon’s lips. Maybe he shouldn’t be so… judgmental. He had been here for a few days, thinking to himself, staring up at the ceiling. Thankfully, he was still existing, despite his track record.

…

Good gracious granny, why was he suddenly beating himself up? Was he punishing himself for skipping her lessons and overcompensating by creating his own self-deprecating headspace? What a crock of—

“Are you going to let me in?”

Her voice was not near the door anymore. It sounded like it was near his rocking chair, which was coincidentally near his window. Did she lose her way and decided to see if there was a backdoor? Unfortunately for her, Ponyville proper didn’t have backyards for homes like his. It was just a quaint little cottage with a non-existent backyard, save for a small door in the back that served as a fire escape with a key close by—he hoped she didn’t check under the mat.

He walked over to the nearby window sill, his mind trying to conjure up something to explain this situation, but nothing came to fruition. The window brought in some much needed sunlight, but the view outside was masked by a rather large curtain he had gotten from Rarity. Hoofsewn, as she put it, expertly crafted to basically make the home more… homey. The curtains looked like something from his grandmother’s house: ancient, floral, and ancient. Maybe he should have said something when Rarity had given them to him. Like, what was your inspiration? The morgue? Then again, Rarity wouldn’t know how to answer those questions. She’d probably just squirm, tell Anon he was being insensitive, and trot away from him with a harrumph punctuating her withdrawal.

It was better to let her think she hit the nail on the head than the nail in her head.

…

Anyway, Anon tried to peer out from said curtain but by the time he had opened the curtains just a bit more than normal, he could not spot her whatsoever. She was not by the window, if the scurrying of hooves pitter-pattering against the dirt outside told him anything. She must have realized that she wasn’t going to see much from out there. Whatever.

Whenever his curtains were shut, the candles set out burned happily in his living room. Now that he thought about it, if he fell asleep and let the candles burn, would it cause the whole house to burst into a fiery inferno? Or would they be like hand grenades that didn’t go off? And how long would that take to burn his house down with him in it? And why was he so curious?

…

He cleared his throat and walked toward the door, only to stop halfway and claim a rather uncomfortably sounding, “No.”

“Why?”

Shrugging, Anon continued, “I want to be left alone.”

He imagined Starlight’s face right now, but he couldn’t really picture her. Sure, he’s seen her a couple times, but not enough to really know her facial expressions. For him, it was like watching an AI try to replicate it, only for the visual to fuck up halfway through and transfix Twilight’s face on hers. He grokked (for some reason) and then ultimately pictured Twilight as a whole instead. And then he...

…gulped.

His stomach flip-flopped.

A bubbly sensation rose to his throat. He tried to mask what he felt coming up, but the acidic taste lurched out of him and—

Maybe he shouldn’t think of her like that.

“But—”

He grunted. “Nope. Stopping you right there. I can handle myself. I don’t need you to—”

“And that’s why Mayor Mare hasn’t seen you in days?”

“Well I told her I was going on vacation—”

A slam against his door welcomed him aggressively. “That’s a lie and you know it! You put in vacation when you’re going on it, not suddenly saying it and walking out!” He could hear her plop herself up against the door, panting all the while. “And now look what you’re doing? Leaving me out here while you just… just turn yourself into a self-proclaimed shut-in.”

“But—”

“No buts.” She tittered. She shoved her hooves into the door this time, the force sounding like she bucked into it. The door rattled against its frame. Whoever made this door really needed to make a new one for him, it’s fantastic for protecting his home against rowdy ponies with a hard-to-follow vengeance. “I’m trying to be here for you, but look at what you’re doing instead! Is it fine for you to keep yourself held up in your house randomly for days at a time? I don’t remember h-humans getting estrus!”

His brows furrowed, while his arms crossed against his chest. “Well maybe they do and—”

He paused as a loud whimper emitted behind the door.

Was… was Starlight crying? She never cried around him. He always saw her when she was happy. Granted, that could be because they never saw each other much but… the crying sounded kind of like Twilight, back when she had gotten stressed out about some court session she had to attend and totally wasn’t prepared for. Then Anon had stepped in and told her everything was going to be alright. She was going to ‘kill it’, which she had promptly told him to use a different word or phrase. So he had settled on the word ‘slay’ and then did this little flippant gesture with his hand.

That had earned him a laugh. A hearty one, while she had rolled and rolled on the floor. He had joined her. It was a great time.

…

His stomach growled. He really needed to stop thinking about Twilight. Starlight was crying, right? Wasn’t that more important…?

Another whimper, and a pained whinny accompanied it.

Anon sighed. “Are you… okay, Starlight?”

“I-I would be if you were, b-but you’re clearly not. And I’m not leaving until you are, or at least you give me a chance to talk to you!”

The muffled declaration made Anon rethink his life choices.

His life was good here in Ponyland. He was somewhat successful in being an assistant to a literal Mayor of Ponyville. He finally made the renovations to the upstairs guest room where he made enough space to even let Big Mac and Spike stop by again for some shenanigans with The Boys. He even had his new kitchen sink fixed! It was a lot of progress for a human adjusting to the pony way of life.

Yet… something was missing. The kitchen was clean, somewhat. He had cleaned the sink, but not the table or the countertop, and now that Anon thought about it, he did leave a full bag of trash at the door last night and he thought he heard some roaches crawling across the floor…

He blinked once. Then twice. Then three times.

What was he doing? This wasn’t like him! He would’ve had that bag out right away, and the roaches would’ve bothered him back on Earth. In fact, he would’ve called some pimple-faced Orkin man to come over and deal with it for him. Effective laziness came with a few dollars flying away from his wallet.

So what was he doing? Why was this any different?

Anon slowly rose from his seat on the couch and turned to face the door.

Should he answer it? Should he let her in?

What was Starlight to him? Was she even worth letting in?

...

…

“Anon?”

“I… I don’t know.”

“You don’t know what?”

“I don’t know if I’m okay.”

He walked toward the door and sat down right in front of it, his back leaning against its old rickety board. His landing, thankfully, didn’t make the bag he needed to toss out fall over. He didn’t want to imagine the creepy-crawlies crawling out of whatever unholy amount of garbage he threw into that bag.

“Are you…?”

Anon’s eyes darted from the bag. “No. I’m not. Not yet anyway.” He sighed. “Me sitting here is the best thing you’re gonna get from me right now.”

Starlight murmured to herself before she flopped to the ground. A few rustles and a door rub later, and Starlight was most likely in the same position as he was, just outside his home. Which was in the city.

Ponies probably thought she was insane.

“Ponies probably think I’m insane for sitting here.”

“I had the same thought—”

“Anon, you’re not supposed to admit it!”

A weak chuckle escaped him.

Round two of picturing Starlight’s face boogaloo. He closed his eyes as he tried to picture her scrunched up muzzle: her lips would be puckered, if that would even work right for their anatomy. Her eyes probably were going somewhat cross, and her attempt to suck in a deep breath would sputter a cough, followed by a pained whinny. Probably.

His imagination ran wild sometimes. Actually, scratch that. It was a lot more if this week was anything to glean at.

Wonder whose fault was that?

Anon knew who, and if he had to identify the colors, they’d all be different shades of lavender and—

“Look, just tell me what’s going on and I’ll leave you alone as you asked.”

“Really?”

She huffed through her nose. “Yes, I’ll even make a Pinkie Promise for this one.”

He raised his brow at that one. “I still don’t know why that’s a way to prove you’re not going to lie.”

“Because you can’t break it without Pinkie Pie enacting her wrath on you! And trust me, she’s not somepony you would want to disappoint.”

He could definitely envision Miss Cotton Candy from afar. The one that called him Nonny. Her blue eyes would pierce him, like she saw through him effortlessly, while her brows furrowed in conjunction with the erratic waving of her hoof that wielded a spatula spattered with a dripping red liquid and chunks of—

Okay, enough of that. She’s not making cupcakes with Scream in mind.

“Eh, I won’t have you do that. I’d rather you leave.”

“Why? Is it because you don’t know me as much as you’d like?”

“I’ll plead the fifth.”

“That’s not an answer in Equestrian law, Anon.”

“Pushy.” He tried to laugh but only sputtered out a cough. He groaned as his mental exhaustion finally showed its hand. His body went entirely slack against the door, while a bead of sweat raced down his cheek. Who turned on the heat in this house—oh wait, he didn’t have a thermostat or a working heater.

He groaned. “Fine, I’ll tell you. Just… bear with me. It’s not going to make a whole lot of sense to you, and there’s a lot of reasons. I’m not sure if you’re ready to hear them all.”

“Anon, I’m more than ready to hear them.”

He rolled his eyes. Anon wasn’t sure as to why Starlight cared so much. After all, they didn’t talk much. Why would she be so interested in him?

“Whatever savior complex you’ve developed that compelled you to plop right outside my door is saving your tail from being told off, Starlight.”

“Savior complex my tail,” she muttered, before letting out a snort. “Sue me."

“Sure. Fifteen thousand doubloons, and I’ll make sure Celly presides over the case.”

“Sounds like my type of party.”

Anon laughed. “Well, since you’re here. I guess I’ll let you hear me out, since, well, I haven’t talked to anyone about this, and I’d rather get it all out in the open to someone who may or may not care about me.”

“May or may not care about you? What do you mean?”

Her higher pitch as she asked her questions made Anon clear his throat. “Do you really care? I mean, hell, you’re probably here just to pity me—”

“You’re wrong. You’re dead wrong. You’re…” her voice trailed off and he could’ve sworn he heard her horn activate, but magic wasn’t his forte. It could’ve been something even worse—how did ponies sound when they fart?

“I’m…?”

Her voice quivered as she continued, “You’re… a great creature, Anon.”

Anon facepalmed. “That sounds rich to hear again.”

“Again?”

“That’s what Twilight told me a couple weeks ago when she turned me down..."

“...”

“Starlight?”

He could hear her cough in-between what sounded like a grunt and a neigh. “Sorry, I just got whiplash from what you said. You… you confessed to Twilight?”

“Yes.”

“Like, the real Twilight Sparkle.”

“Yep.”

“The Princess of Friendship?”

“Yeah, are you…?”

He could hear her clopping her forehooves together. “Confessing in the holding hooves type of way?”

“Of course.”

“And she… rejected you?”

Suddenly, he saw red, and not just the door. His hands, his formerly blue jeans and ruffled up white tee, his worn tennis shoes, his everything—and the ceiling, they were all blood red. He bit his lip and growled out, hissing in pain.

“Anon?!”

“Enough!” he shouted, grunting as he felt where his tooth had pierced his lip. “Y-You really want to hear it, Starlight? You really want me to get it all out there? Sure, I can do that. I can do that and more! I can tell it to you in three different ways, all in vivid detail, and all right in your face too! I’m not going to do the last part, since we’re in this situation, but if you want my dirty laundry, then let’s go with that. I’ll air that all out for you to hear, and probably half of Ponyville, but who cares anymore, right? Whatever. You’re just mimicking how she liked hearing things: straight to the point and with no remorse, no chance to correct anything. She didn’t want to pretend like she was deaf around me. No, she wasn’t going to let me have any reprieve. Made it easier for her to figure out how to turn me down."

He winced as he felt bile rise in his throat. He continued to speak though, his tone growing with each word. "She noticed after all—and noticed she did. She turned me down harshly, Starlight. She told me thirteen reasons. Thirteen reasons why we wouldn’t work out. She’d go, ‘You’re not compatible with me, Anon. You’re not a stallion. You don’t have the right amount of chromosome pairs and magic can’t correct it.’ Then she’d turn around and be all sympathetic saying, ‘Oh, Anon, I don’t want you to change for my sake,’ and the next, she’d tout that I’m not as good of a friend as she thought. She told me the attraction wasn’t there, that I’m all these thirteen reasons. Her reasoning, it felt shallow, like an excuse forced upon me that I had to accept. Hell, she probably thought that if we were going to be in a relationship, I’d screw up all her friendships by taking her already finite amount of time she had for them!”

He coughed to clear the raspiness from his voice. “I’d be lying if I said how she thought of things, not relationships, wasn’t something I liked about her. She always wanted to problem solve, thinking of every possible outcome before making a decision that would change something so important to her. After all, she’s the scientific type, the one who analytically looks at things and wonders ‘what do?’. At first, she looked at me like an experiment, but as time progressed and we spoke to each other more. The more we talked, the more she became like a friend, to the point that she became a best friend to me. She took me in when no one else wanted to. She taught me a lot about Equestria and she helped me meet all of you because, without her, I was a sitting duck. Swallowed by my views, and by my past. She told me that I was being askew at the time, and that it would be great to open up to others, get to know other ponies to really make those friendships last. Guess how that turned, Starlight? Do you know—oh don’t answer, it’s only rhetorical—Twilight turned around and told me how it was. There was no meeting halfway. There was no reciprocation. She told me she couldn’t make sense of love from someone like me. Isn’t that great? Couldn’t she have asked for advice from her sister-in-law? You know, the one with the heart butt tattoo that specializes in love? But no, she did not even give us a chance. She just told my thoughts, my feelings that they didn’t matter to her. No, they were a silly toss up in the hypothesis she called her life!"

He wanted to slam his elbow against the door, but he stopped himself, his elbow just shy of it. He had this dumb thought of trying it again, only this time not pulling away at the last second, but he shook his head free of it. He had to make a point, a statement, not hurt himself again in the process.

"That’s how it goes for Anon, right? Anon: the only human in Equestria whose sole purpose is to just rot all alone. I can’t go back to Earth with the people who cared about me. I’ll never get to see them again. I’m only allowed to be here, being reminded every day of what parallels branched from my previous life. How you live is human, but how you are are ponies. That’s how it is, and that’s why I get the cold shoulder, because I’m not like you lot. I’m not like you at all. I’m not a stallion. I’m just Anon. I’m just a human. And there ain’t anything you can do about it. Magic? Nada. Potions? Forget about it. There ain’t no theory crafting that can save me, and I guess that's it, huh? The price I pay for being the way I am?”

“...”

Shuffling behind the door just a tad. Her back rubbing against it, maybe? Anon couldn’t place it. She needed to be careful, splinters were not nice to get— “You’ve been thinking about this for quite a while, huh?”

He took in a rather deep breath. “No. Not at all.”

“Huh?”

“Thought about it when it all happened. Took about thirty minutes to really get the full picture. Then, I punched a hole in my room, told my non-existent family to get out, and after turning numb to everything over the past few days, I’m now sitting here, entertaining you between this rickety slab of wood I call a door.” He chuckled again, much raspier this time. “And I was thinking about oiling it up, making sure the hinges stopped squeaking, but here I am, sitting here talking to some pony who is here listening to me ramble about all of my problems and all of those feelings and thoughts I’ve had. And even then, not all of them are out there, but hey, at least blowing off a little bit of steam with someone who won’t go yapping to Twilight about this is okay, right?” His shoulder rubbed against the door. “I mean, did she tell you anything about me and my failed confession? For someone who is close to her, she probably tells you lots of things.”

After Anon finally said his piece, he waited for Starlight to speak. Unfortunately for him, it was taking a bit. She shifted in front of the door, probably waiting for someone to pass by her who was snooping in on them.

But then that thought was dashed when a shaky sigh pierced through.

“N-No. She didn’t tell me anything. I…I only heard about this from Mayor Mare. She was asking ponies about you, wondering where you were. She was worried, almost distraught even, but she didn’t know if coming over here would come off as abrasive. In my opinion, she should’ve come here sooner, but thankfully I was there to talk to her about it. I mean, other ponies just passed by like nothing was going on, while others told her they were busy or it was too much of a hassle; they weren’t getting in the way of some workplace drama. And… if only I knew about this sooner, if only I knew that Twilight had done something to you, I could’ve been here for you much sooner too.” She groaned. “I should’ve known Twilight was worried about something! She was focused way too much on her work as of late. But here I am, wondering about her when—” She coughed and cleared her throat. “Anon, I don’t want to make this mistake again. I’m here now. I need to see you. I want to be here, not out of some pity, but because I should’ve been here when you needed me. And if this is some savior complex coming out, I’ll welcome it, because somepony should’ve been here for you. I just so happened to hear about you and… I want to make things right. Is that too much to do? To help somepony in need, especially when they need it the most?”

“...”

“Anon?”

“...”

“An—”

“Sorry. Was stuck in my head.”

“In your head?”

His chest rose with his voice. “I don’t know. I… I have a lot of thoughts upstairs. They’re swirling and swirling and swirling. And now that they’re going even faster, I’m feeling everything now. I’m feeling what I felt when Twilight rejected me. I’m feeling what I felt when I succeeded in assisting Mayor Mare with some task at her office. I’m feeling what I felt when Pinkie Pie gave me diabetes in the form of shakes and bakes. But I know now that all of this culminates into nothing, and I’ll feel it. I’ll feel it for days now: waking up to see nothing but gray, feeling nothing but the gray. And then, just like the rain, I’d feel it all wash away in a downpour of emotions, though they’d never come out.

“It’s like what I did this morning. I took a shower with some soap bar that Twilight got me, and then I’ll wash with it, but then I’ll remember things, and I’ll feel all gross, but hey, I’ll smell better afterwards, so who cares right? Heaven knows I’ll need some more of it too, heh—but then I’ll go back to that nothing, and then I realize nothing happened. Nothing happened to me. I just… drifted. Thought a lot and nothing changed. I’ve gotten comfortable in letting it be, Starlight. I’d rather continue feeling nothing so that way I don’t feel everything again. But with you here…”

Anon gulped in the flurry of fury filling his stomach, butterflies dancing on the lining as he spoke, “With you here, everything’s back again. And supposedly you’re here to not pity me—”

A tip-tap against the door, followed by a rather strange rubbing noise against it. “Supposedly? Anon, I’m not here to pity you at all.”

“Right." He cleared his throat. “If that’s true, and you’re really here to see me because you heard it from Mayor Mare, then… what are you actually here for?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, what do you get out of this?”

“W-Well, I’m here to—”

“—I mean I know that you’re here because you said you would be committing friendship fraud or whatever if you weren’t, but Starlight, we rarely talk. You’re usually hanging around Spike, Twilight, and her other friends, so I don’t know why you’re even giving me the time of day other than because you were asked to.”

“...”

He groaned. “See, I knew you were only here to pity me—ack!”

The door wracked his back with pain, and by the door, he meant Starlight sending a kick square into the door, which meant he was the causality in the end. “Starlight, can you not slam your hooves on the door? With a kick like that, you’ll pop the thing right off its hinges and—”

“Then stop saying things that aren’t true! You and I have always been friends!”

“Really? Are you sure about that? Tell me: when was the last time we hung out?”

“...”

“Starlight?”

“Two months ago.”

“And before that?”

“Five months ago…?”

“See. Exactly what I thought. You’re too busy because you have other friends and priorities, and that’s great! But if you really want to say you and I are friends, then I don’t know how that’s the case. We don’t talk, Starlight. And I don’t know you like you think you know me. We aren’t like that.”

Silence reigned as the door stayed in place, sandwiched between the two of them.

“Are you going to kick my door again?”

“No… sniffle—I… I’m sorry, Anon. I—I just wanted to be there for you. Like I said, when Mayor Mare told me, I wasn’t alone. There were other ponies there too, and no one even lifted a hoof to help. It was only me. I asked Spike to jump in, but he’s currently checking in with Twilight about some diplomatic hoo-ha. Hopefully he doesn’t find out she’s the reason why you’re like this and—”

“—Twilight isn’t the only reason why I’m like this, Starlight.”

She gasped. “Did… did something else happen?”

“Considering I said way more than Twilight in my rant earlier, I guess I have to go through this one by one. That proves to me that either you ponies won’t understand everything I am going through or I really need to stop ranting and raving, and start having you dissect my brain. I mean, maybe you shouldn’t. If Twilight didn’t see any worth in me, I doubt you’ll find anything worth using upstairs in my noggin. Whatever you find will probably be recycled or something like the waste of space I am—”

Starlight growled behind the door. “Stop that, Anon. You’re not a waste of space. You’re way more than that. So please… tell me what you’re going through so I can understand. I want to understand you. I want to be a better friend to you. Is that not obvious?!”

The words bounced off Anon’s ears. Was she lying? Was she really interested in him in that way?

He couldn’t tell… unless he opened the door to see her face. These ponies loved to wear their hearts on their sleeves, metaphorically speaking. It’s mostly on their faces. They tend to wear their emotions so openly on their faces that Anon didn’t need a cheat sheet to read someone, but with this door in the way, he’ll never be able to decipher what she was saying.

So…

Anon sighed. “I don’t know. I’d have to see you to make that decision.”

She whimpered. “Then let me in so we can talk about this.”

Carefully, Anon got himself up, grunting as he pushed himself off the ground. He took a deep breath, before he slowly walked to the door. “A-Alright,” he began, his voice quivering. He took a few more steps and shakily grabbed the door knob. “Take a step back. I don’t want you to fall in.”

He heard scampering behind the door, but as he leaned closer to it, Anon heard a rather sudden yelp that made him think Starlight was just jumped by another pony. Either that or it was Starlight and she nearly sprained her hoof. Either way, the door wasn’t rattling anymore, which had to account for something… maybe she was in a better position than before.

He frowned, before shaking his head. He was delaying. He needed to commit to the bit.

With a click, the door swung open.

There, in front of his doorstep, was the mess named Starlight Glimmer. She looked up at him, her eyes full of tears, some matting her fur while the rest was not, simply pooling up like the dam was about to burst. She was on her haunches, her tail curled around her, while her ears were splayed back against her head. Her mane looked a bit worse for wear, like she hadn’t slept in days, especially her eyes, as they were not only puffy but severely bloodshot, red arching like lightning to the edges of her eyes. She sniffled, her muzzle wriggling and scrunching up a tad, only for her to then sorta smile like she was totally okay and totally not crying her eyes out right now.

That smile definitely made Anon wonder if he was having heart palpitations.

“Uhh, come on in.”

“R-Right,” Starlight stuttered out. She made sure to arch her head down as she passed him. He peeked out, and noticed a few mares were staring at her, but no one else really paid her much heed.

Hopefully those who stared took pictures, they’ll last longer.

He slammed the door out of rage, not because of Starlight, but because of them. Were they judging her? Were they judging her because of him?

Because of him…

He gulped in his feelings and turned around, only to see Starlight looking at him with a couple tears racing down her cheeks.

“I… am glad you let me see you, Anon.”

Anon came close, looping an arm around her back to snake up her neck. His hand found purchase on her head, patting it like he would a dog. “Thanks for checking up on me. I hope it was worth being stared at like that.”

She hummed happily in his embrace, giving him a small smile. He could feel her hooves attempt to return the gesture of looping around his back, but it kinda… didn’t fully reach. Still, the warmth she gave him made him wonder if she was a furnace. “If it means helping a friend, then it definitely is.”

There’s that word again. Friend.

“You keep saying that when, well, it’s…”

She sighed and pulled back from the embrace, looking up at him with those blue-ish eyes. “I’ve seen you as a friend, but I haven’t been a friend to you.” Her muzzle scrunched up as she said the last part. “I… I wish I had noticed this sooner.”

“Better late than never,” Anon replied, his lips curving upwards.

She must’ve seen his smile, as she instantly frowned—contradictory much? “I guess so…”

He cleared his throat and cast his hand out to the nearby couch. “Have a seat on the couch. I’ll take a seat in the good ole rocker.”

“Rocker?”

“It’s one of those curved little seats that you rock back and forth on. It’s right over there, Starlight.”

She looked over at the chair for a moment, before snuggling right into his chest instead. “Are you sure?”

“Am I sure?”

Starlight frowned. “I mean, sitting down with a friend and hugging it out is much more beneficial than sitting away from each other and—”

Anon let out a brief laugh before shaking his head, proceeding to walk over to the couch with Starlight in his grasp. “Heh, if you think it’ll help…”

“Think? Anon, I know so.”

He shook his head in disbelief. “Didn’t catch you as a therapist, Starlight.”

“I… I’m not really one of those. My friend Trixie is though. She’s put me through a few of her ‘sessions’.”

He set her down on the couch. “That blue one with the wizard hat and the purple cape, right?”

She laid down on the couch before she giggled into her forehoof. “Yeah, that’s the one. She’s an awesome friend. She knows a lot about sitting somepony down and talking to them about their problems. I… I kind of wish that she didn’t have to use me for her trials, but hey, everypony needs to start somewhere.”

“Yeah, that’s true…” Anon said, his voice trailing off. He sat down beside her, leaning against the back of the couch. He cracked his neck, which apparently gave Starlight an ample amount of time to crawl over to him, as when he looked back over at her, the mare had dragged herself over to him, her head resting just above his knee.

She looked up at Anon, her blue-ish eyes shimmering. “Anon, can you tell me what happened with Twilight?”

He blinked owlishly at her. “You want the whole skinny of it?”

“Is that a human saying?” Starlight asked with a slight head tilt.

He laughed. “Yeah, sorry. Still learning to pony all those -isms I got.”

“Right,” she breathed out.

Anon scratched the back of his neck and attempted to smile, only for his lips to twitch. His nerves were on fire, blazing as he gulped them down. “Uhh… you want the full story, then?”

“Verbatim, please,” she said with a curt nod. She nuzzled her cheek with his. “I’ll be here, making sure to butt in every so often.”

“Can’t let my angst spillover naturally?”

“Heh, you already did that with your little shouting match with me earlier. Thankfully, I can actually be here for you instead. Friends tend to be the greatest of dams.”

Anon let out a snort. “You’ll earn that title in time.”

“Good, because I want that title,” Starlight replied, a smirk worming on her face.

It made Anon worry if what he’ll say will wipe it clean off her face.

“Well… keep yourself where you’re at. It’s a long one.”

“I got the time.”

Starlight looked straight into his soul. Anon returned the gesture, wondering if he kept staring into the deep abyss of Ponyland’s hell (also known as Starlight’s eyes) out of a sense of duty, or if he was comforted by her gaze. Either way, she was really warm at the moment. Temperature wise and emotionally.

It was better than staring at his ceiling again.

So, with his demons in check, Anon took in a deep breath and began to speak…

Author's Note

It begins. Hope you all enjoy the story!

Song for this chapter:

Edits completed on January 2nd, 2025.

I Know Better Now

Snapping Back to Reality - Where Starlight Gets Gravity (Of the Situation) While Anon Still Lives in the Middle of Nowhere (Celestia Lost Her Horseshoes There)

“Anon, you don’t need to say anything else.”

He raised a brow. “Really?”

Starlight nodded and hugged him close. He had sunk into the pillows of his rather lengthy couch. He had gotten it from the Ponyland equivalent of a giant garage sale from some expensive estate. The pony who sold him the couch was very enthusiastic in selling him it. This enthusiastic urge had made Anon second guess himself, to the point of inspecting it further. Upon inspection (at the time), it didn’t seem to look out of sorts. No apparent stains and stress testing it (also known as flopping on it with no remorse) didn’t result in the thing shaking or breaking into pieces… so Anon was left to wonder:

Why?

Maybe said pony was too happy to help him out? Either that or he was given this one for such a low price because it was a hand-me-down from a pony that may have screwed their significant other on it, and the pony who had sold it to him found out two days ago and really wanted to get it off their hooves? Either way, Anon didn’t care what option was the case, even though he should’ve. He had a pony named Starlight snuggling into him, and she was wayyyy too comfortable right now.

Intertwined in a very ‘friendly’ embrace, the two stayed there mostly in silence, save for a little titter from Starlight as she breathed out rather happily, her lips curved upward. He sighed too, embracing the peaceful quiet. Anon hadn’t had this time to just hold onto someone, it felt… different. A good different, but one he couldn’t describe well without tumbling over himself.

But, when curiosity called on speed dial…

“Do you think I'm allowed to feel the way I do, Starlight?”

Those bitter words resounded in Anon’s ears, echoing enough to make him think twice about his question. But he needed the confirmation, even if licking his lips made him wince.

Her shifting in his grasp reaffirmed that taste, her foreleg wiggling a way out of their embrace to curl back into her chest where her other one already laid. “Yeah, you should…”

Anon paused, waiting to hear from Starlight again, but she just trailed off, leaving him left to wonder, a place that he didn’t feel the safest. “I’m sensing a ‘but’ coming on.”

She sighed. “But I’m bothered by this whole situation.”

“Bothered?”

“Yeah. Something’s off about it all. Twilight appeared remorseful despite how she treated you.”

“Right…” Anon muttered. “So what's 'off' then?”

“Hmmm…” Starlight hummed. The low rumble in her throat tickled Anon’s hairs on his neck. “That’s a good question. I have my reasoning, and I’d like to hear her side of the story, but I think I’ll leave that for another day.” She softly smiled at him, if a bit sheepishly, her muzzle slightly twitching as she spoke, “You’re more important right now.”

He doubted that highly, but he couldn’t help that those words made him shiver, the sensation racing down his spine. “I… thanks, Starlight.”

A giggle, followed by a sigh. “No problem, Anon.” She nuzzled into his shoulder. “It’s what a friend would do.”

“What a friend would do, huh…”

He leaned back further, rubbing his neck against the pillow behind him. He hummed softly, tinkering with whatever thoughts that crossed his mind. The door, his job, his life, Twilight—

Try again. WD40, cruising back home on the highway, his life he had before all this horsing around happened, Twilight—

Anon groaned. His gaze flickered away from the ceiling, directly where the wall and the ceiling met, to where Starlight was, in his arms.

Starlight. She was looking at him now, searching his face. She searched and searched and searched, only to frown. “You’re still thinking about Twilight, aren’t you?”

Anon just shrugged.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

A huff escaped him. “Yeah, I am. I can’t stop thinking about her.” He let out a low growl. “Sorry, this whole ‘cuddling friendly on the couch thing’ is great and all but…”

Starlight shook her head and smiled. “Don’t apologize. I’m glad that this almost distracted you from everything.”

It was Anon’s turn to let out a laugh. “You know what I meant.”

“I know…” She sighed and gave him a very serious glare. “Look, this whole situation is not great for either of you. I mean, the fact that she rejected you is one thing, but rejecting you because you’re you is a completely different issue entirely. If I were in your horseshoes—er, shoes, right?” She paused to see Anon nod, which urged her to continue, “Ahem, well if I were in your shoes, I’d be bothered by that too.”

Anon looked elsewhere: the floor, the ceiling, the pillows on the other chair, the candle still burned nicely on the nearby nightstand, while the bookshelf stood just as tall as before—was that a gift from Twilight?—oh wait there he went, thinking about her again.

“Guess you proved my point.” She let out a brief giggle-snort before continuing, “Meanwhile I know for a fact that Twilight was not even remotely prepared for your confession. She loves, and I mean loves to be prepared for everything. And when she can’t be prepared, she just falls apart.”

“So that excuses her?” Anon asked, tilting his head, which made him feel a bit of her hair brush against his skin.

“No, not at all,” Starlight replied, shaking her head. She flicked her muzzle up to nuzzle Anon’s cheek before prodding at his chest with a hoof. “Look, I know this is not great coming from me, but friendship is tough. She’s attempting to really juggle everything all at once right now, instead of doing the right thing and doing this in private. While it doesn't excuse her, maybe it does give some insight as to why she had reacted the way she did. I know it doesn’t lessen the blow at all…”

Anon sighed. “It doesn’t.”

Starlight suddenly closed her eyes shut and took in a deep breath. “Well, trust me, Anon. She was completely sideswiped. And with all the responsibilities she has stacked on top of her…. I mean all of Equestria looks up to her now! I… I don’t know how she even managed to splurge all that out onto you. She had to have been cornered by it all. So, when you offered an out, she took it.”

“The out being to criticize me in any way possible?”

“Exactly, especially with no restraint.” She brought her forehoof up to his cheek, cupping it as best as she could, at least, in his mind. “But she shouldn’t have done that to you even if you asked for it. Even if you had felt strong enough to take it, it… it just wasn’t the right time nor the right place. And what she had said stung, right?”

He nodded. “Yeah. More than I thought.” He patted her mane gently before continuing, “I mean, who says that? I know I’m not a stallion and all, but that automatically excludes me from being with her? It’s like she relies way too much on biology. She must really think I’m still that science experiment that she can toy around with and—”

“Stop that, Anon. Twilight definitely doesn’t think you’re an experiment, I know that much.” Starlight half-whimpered, half-breathed out whatever was lodged in her lungs. She let her foreleg fall back to her chest. “She should’ve just said ‘Sorry, I don’t like you like that’ and she should've left it there. And now with what she’s said, she’ll probably regret this later and apologize—”

“—I don’t want her to.” Anon mumbled, choosing to slither his hand down her neck, earning him a gasp (from his words or his action, he didn’t know). “I can’t unhear what she told me. What’s said has been said, Starlight. I… I just want her to know that not everyone operates like her. She even said it herself: most mares want what she wants. I don’t know if she was referring to mares who love other mares but—”

“—she probably was…”

Anon glared at Starlight for a moment, but when she threw her hooves up and looked at him like ‘what do you want from me?’, he caved into his anxious laughter before continuing, “Anyway, if she was, then she believes that all mares who are straighter than an arrow care only about getting with a stallion to make foals.”

Starlight rolled her eyes. “It’s the ‘keeping the species alive’ mentality that she has. Hormones are tricky, even for mares that are as smart as her.”

Anon raised a brow. “Is she really that smart?”

“Twilight? Of course. She’s one of the smartest ponies I know,” Starlight replied, albeit with a slight frown. “Too bad she decided to make herself appear the opposite.”

He turned away from her, looking elsewhere. “That’s an understatement.”

A silence bore through, lulling the conversation. Anon took a moment to take a deep breath, exhaling shakily as he spied over at Starlight, who too took a chance to take a look around, probably to take her mind off everything, decompress; but maybe that was Anon’s attempt to read someone new and accidentally completely misread her entirely. She probably felt awkward around him, that’s why she was rubbing her forehooves together a bit, and her ears were now splayed against her head—

Starlight cleared her throat, which made Anon shake those observations away. Her look, those expressive blue eyes, how her cheeks were framed by that slight curl of her lips, upward as they may, and a little quirk of those lips divet in the side, a dimple, maybe. Anon noticed those and more, and his heart twinged a bit, seeing it all. Her touch too, where one of her forehooves slithered near his cheek, hovering there where his hairs were, grazing them while she stayed there, almost as if it was her way to make Anon search her face. If that was her intention, she got his wholesale.

She pursed her lips.

“Do you… feel any better, Anon?”

He looked inward. Did he feel better?

…

Not really. But talking about this to someone helped keep his nerves at bay.

“Sorta. It helped to talk to someone about it. It’ll take a long while to feel better though. Are you sure you’re wanting to stick around?”

A light airy laugh escaped her. “I have all the time in the world, Anon. I have all the time in the world.”

Anon opened his mouth, but he stopped himself. He was going to say something, but he was lost for words. He needed to stop talking and show her that he was happier, and with the smile he received from her and the warmth that came with her company… he just lost himself. He snuggled into her withers and held her close.

Starlight was more than happy to comply, a soft exhale escaping her as she nuzzled him, her hairs rubbing up against his chin. “Thanks for letting me in.”

Anon sluggishly pulled back to peer through his somewhat lidded eyes at her. He let out a weak chuckle and gave her his best tired smile he could muster. “No, thank you for caring about me, Starlight.”

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, returning back to her withers. He needed to take a moment to rest, clear his head, and hopefully not toss and turn in his sleep, as Starlight would probably go flying off the couch.

“Hmm… Anon?”

He peered out again with an eye partially open. “What’s up—”

His vision refocused and the sight he witnessed made the other flick open too, like an old window’s blinds being pulled up as rapidly as possible. Her tongue gently licked the side of his face, a gesture that if a human did would be extremely off-putting, but for a pony… it was considered normal. “Get some rest. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“Really?” Anon asked, still trying to get his bearings.

“Mhmm.”

She nuzzled back into his chest again. Her purple mane tickled his nose, making him want to itch it, but he couldn't. The couch, the cuddling, that lick, the way everything fell into place. He couldn't help but close his eyes.

Maybe he should be worried about this. Maybe he shouldn’t. One thing was for sure: Starlight made him feel comfortable enough to let her stay, right there, in his arms, with her body draped on him. If anything, this would never have happened with anyone else. Yet… why her? Why was she the one to make him change?

Those questions twirled in the back of his mind, but then one more nuzzle from a pony named Starlight urged those thoughts of his away. And they did, and they continued to stay away as he fell adrift into the sea he called slumber.

Anon woke up to Starlight’s muzzle right in front of him. Her soft snores kept him there, his gaze honed in on her as she slept. Her mane fell to the side with hairs arching this way and that, while her leg pawed into his side like she was trying to walk or communicate to something with her hooves. He wondered if she was having a good dream. Was she running a marathon? Or was it something as simple as trotting to the store? Meeting some friends?

He didn’t know what she did in her spare time.

He sighed and soaked up all the warmth she offered. It was tempting to pet her, that tuft of fur toward her front was right up in his grill, but he knew that would not be wholly appropriate. Not with how they were already—

Wait. What were they again? Acquaintances working towards friends? Former friends that weren’t actually friends but now working towards friendship and what not? He wasn’t an expert but he certainly was better than Twi—

Anon coughed mentally. Nope. Not one thought will be spared on her. Only Starlight, the deep sleep hoofsies-having pony on his chest. He kept his hand where it stayed, which was on her back, keeping her firmly in place. That was probably enough, he didn’t want her rolling off the couch.

“Mmm, Anon?”

He watched as she stirred, attempting to rub her eyes with her forehooves but having trouble finding the little buggers as they were currently lodged against him.

Anon smirked. “Hey, Starlight. Welcome to the land of the living.”

His joke fell on deaf ears. Yawning was her preoccupation.“What—egh—time is it…?”

He tilted his head behind the couch to see the sun no longer peering through the window sill.

“Not sure. Looks dark out there.”

She pulled away and flicked her mane out of her face. She stretched her legs for a second before giving Anon a small smile. “Guess I needed that rest more than I thought.”

“Eh, you probably did. Your hooves were running a mile and a half!”

“You were watching me sleep?” Fuzzy ears rose to the occasion.

“Yeah…” Anon said, stretching his own arms while he spoke, “Sorry if that was wrong to do. Didn’t want to startle you or anything.”

“It’s okay,” Starlight said, before letting out a blow. “Trixie always tells me I do that hoof thing whenever I have a sleepover with her.”

“And what does she say?”

Her muzzle scrunched up at the sight of Anon’s raised brow. “Something about her and I running away together to do some cool magic shows out in Vanhoover when we retire from the School of Friendship. I’m not sure why it’s always Vanhoover and why we have to ‘run away together’. I mean, she has her wagon and—” Starlight paused and threw her hooves up in the air. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Really? Running away together?”

“Yeah…” Starlight began to say, only to gasp, her eyes looking like dinner plates on a fine china shelf. “Wait, you don’t think she…”

Anon nodded and poked her muzzle with a finger. “She may have a thing for you.”

Starlight shakily sighed. “And here I was wondering if I had a thing for—” She clamped her mouth shut with her forehooves.

“A thing for…?” he asked, craning his neck a bit closer to her.

“Nothing. Nothing!” She said, flailing said forehooves toward him. A red tint pierced her cheeks, which made Anon raise a brow again.

“Doesn’t look like nothing…” he murmured.

Puffing her cheeks, Starlight groaned as she freed one of her hindlegs from their little cuddlefest. “I'll let you know once I figure it out. Right now, I need to get going. It’s late, and I’m pretty certain Spike’s wondering if I died or something.”

Anon cracked his neck and smiled. “Understandable. Sorry for keeping you over for so long—”

“Psh, you didn’t keep me. I stayed here on my own accord. For me and for you, remember?”

Was the room getting warmer or was that just him? “Heh, you’re right. Well, thanks for stopping by.”

“No problem, but don’t think this is the last time you’ll be seeing me.” She cooed as she cracked her own neck. “We’ll need to meet up tomorrow after you’re done with work,” she added, emphasizing her words with her pawing at his chest with a forehoof.

He gently held that leg so she didn’t dig further into his skin. “Tomorrow, after work?”

“You think you want to sit in here and wallow about her some more?”

Anon sighed. No he didn’t want to do that. Was Starlight a mind reader? “No…”

She tsk-tsked while shaking her head. “Then go back to work. Talk to Mayor Mare about it. She may be able to give you even more insight about Twilight than I did.”

“Really?”

Starlight dislodged the rest of herself from Anon and the couch, flopping onto the floor shakily on all four of her hooves. “Y-Yeah—phew, thought I lost feeling in my hindlegs for a second—Mayor Mare’s known Twilight long before I even got here. If anypony outside the Elements would know something about her, it’s Mayor Mare.”

“I guess I’ll talk to her tomorrow.”

Starlight squeed and watched as Anon hobbled to his feet. “Great! And then after you do that and finish up with work, I’ll stop by and we can do something, okay?”

"Alright..." Anon said, patting her mane. "Guess this is the end of our little friendship session?"

"Don't worry, there will be plenty more in the future." She rubbed her face up against his pant leg before giving him some distance by clip-clopping a bit ahead of him. She craned back over her shoulder and smiled. “Now, get some rest. I’ll make sure to stop by Mayor Mare’s early tomorrow morning to let her know you’ll be coming back to work, okay?”

“Okay,” Anon replied as the mare slipped away from him and walked out the door. She magically shut it behind her, leaving him all on his own. He smiled as he looked out the window, watching her leave, her trot both languid and excited, her tail swishing about as she stutter-hopped along the path.

Maybe things might be turning around…

The Next Morning - Just Outside Mayor Mare’s Office

Anon gulped down whatever nerves he had lodged in his throat.

Those days locked up in his house while Mayor Mare was all alone, putting in the overtime to simply finish out the day while her nerves were on haywire, hoping that her assistant didn’t commit the unthinkable—he could imagine it all, how her voice would break asking a pony to help her with this mess he had made for, so eloquently wrapped up in a bow handmade to add insult to injury. That’s why he was nervous. He was nervous and rightfully so. He knew Mayor Mare though. She was very capable of those long hours, but… the inconvenience, the thoughts she must have had while trying to clean up toward a day’s end… those images flared in his mind like a solar flare. It nearly blinded him, but he knew that whatever happened today happened for a reason.

That reason? Well… He didn’t know what was going to be there. All he knew was that, while Mayor Mare was capable of handling herself, he had never seen her clean. That was his job, along with handling all the busy work that she wasn’t yearning to do. And now that he was back, what was left for him? And more importantly, what was she going to do to him? When he opened that door, the door with a window just high enough for a pony to peer into, what was she going to say? He hoped that she wouldn’t grill him half to death upon walking in her direction. He also hoped that she didn’t task him to deal with the ghost that bombarded the office nicknamed ‘Dusty’.

With trepidation, Anon took a deep breath and latched his hand on the door handle. With a quick tap down, it unlocked, clicking curtly as it swung open. The click echoed in his mind, but he shook it off when he stepped in, turning the corner and—

He stopped, abruptly, his shoes skirting on that familiar carpet.

There she was. White and gray streaks were still glossy as can be. Her mane had some hairs still poking out in directions he wasn’t sure they were meant to be in, but a pony mane was as difficult to mend as a man with overgrown hair and a comb. Those glasses of hers helped frame her darker pools of blue. They even showed those red streaks of lightning darting this way and that in her eyes. Bags stayed residents under them, and a fresh tear most likely matted her cheek. He went back to those eyes again, them wide as can be. And her muzzle was agape, growing ever so more distant as she froze too, but not without her foreleg pawing at the air. Her normal attire was not around her neck—she probably laid it somewhere else. At home, maybe? Anon couldn’t figure her out some days, but maybe all that stress made her forget to put her mayoral attire on.

Eh. He didn’t have much else to think about. Just her standing there and—

“A-Anon? Is that you?” she finally asked, picking her jaw up with that pawing forehoof, while her other started to move.

He nodded slowly, the door closing shut behind him with a resounding click. “Yeah, sorry about leaving unannounced and all—oof!”

It was all of a sudden, but Mayor Mare rammed herself into his leg, making him nearly stumble onto the ground. Luckily, his balance (and the now shut door) saved him, and when he looked down, he…

“Thank Celestia, you’re alive!”

“A-Alive?”

She looked up at him, tears trickling out of her eyes. “I was so worried! One day, I had you here, and the next, my favorite pony in all of Equestria was gone!”

“But I’m not a pony—”

“Nonsense, you’re like us enough to be considered one.”

“I don’t recall having a muzzle.”

“You have one, it’s just an indent at the moment,” she said, pointing a hoof at his face.

Anon blinked. “Uh…” He brought a hand to his mouth and… promptly facepalmed instead.

“Anyway, enough comparisons! None of that compares to how much I need you in my life,” Mayor Mare said, adjusting her glasses. Her eyes peered up while her lips curled up to a bright smile.

His eyes widened, and he felt like his cheeks were about to go ablaze. “Are you… really sure?”

“Anon, without you here, I have been having to relearn how to function normally before you arrived.” She clip-clopped toward her office, beckoning him with a forehoof aggressively. He walked toward the doorway of her office as her outstretched foreleg pointed directly at her desk, while she reared on her hind legs and leaned against the door frame. “I mean, look at this place! It’s a pigsty!”

Anon looked. He really looked around the room. Documents stacked up on the furthermost corner of it. The blinds were tilted 36.539 degrees too far to the left. The chair in front of her desk looked like a dust bunny had gained a green card, while its offspring was waiting for its turn on the seat nearby (why is that cabinet there?!). A cobweb sporting some spider (probably named Charlotte) stood proudly in the corner of the ceiling, just above where ponies could sit if there were more than one of them. Her desk laid sprawl of more papers and stationary, including a priceless quill bent out of shape.

And her name tag, mostly pristine prior to his leave, appeared like a faded relic.

…

How long was he gone again?

“Wow, you really messed this room up!”

Mayor Mare groaned as she clopped onto all fours again. “I know, I know!” She gritted her teeth before continuing, “I can’t believe I let myself go this far, and you’ve only been gone for less than a week!”

Wait, he wasn’t gone that long. How did she—Anon shook his head. “I don’t know how you managed to do this. I mean, Charlotte up there really is—”

“How did you know I named the spider Charlotte?”

Anon raised a brow. “Wait, what?”

Mayor Mare fumbled with her glasses before setting them straight on her muzzle. “I—Nevermind,” she began, only to clap those forehooves of hers together and give him the best pair of puppy eyes he’s seen. “Anon, I know you just got back, but could you help me clean my office? I could really use your help.”

“Of course,” Anon replied, cracking his knuckles. “Shouldn’t be too much of a hassle.”

“Thank you!” Mayor Mare chirped happily. “Be mindful of Charlotte. Make sure she’s safe and comfortable. As for the rest, try to clean it all up as best as you can. Any loose documents on my desk can be put into a manila folder and I’ll look through it later. I have an appointment in the conference room in… thirty minutes with an investor from Cloudsdale.”

Anon tilted his head. “Didn’t they schedule for tomorrow?”

“Unfortunately, they wanted to reschedule for today at the last minute. And I’ve been rushing to prepare for it but haven’t been able to due to you suddenly leaving—”

He frowned. “I’m sorry, Mayor Mare. I didn’t mean to leave you all alone and—”

Mayor Mare bumped against Anon a second time, this time choosing to rear back up on her hindlegs again, narrowing her brows. “Anon.”

He winced and tried to look away, but her glare pierced his peripherals too.

…

He let out a breath he was holding onto. “Yeah?”

“Don’t apologize. You don’t need to feel sorry for what happened.”

“I don’t?”

Mayor Mare smiled, her eyes shimmering through the not-so-perfect blinds. “Never. Just… make sure you tell me next time? That way I can brandish every compliment I and many other ponies have said about you.”

“There’s a list?”

“I’ll show you during our lunch break,” Mayor Mare smirked. She began shoving her hooves through the stacks of papers. “We have work to do.”

Anon smiled back. “Alright. Let’s get this room spotless.”

Midday Compliment Session - Break Room of Mayor Mare’s Office

Anon and Mayor Mare rushed in the rather small break room, panting as if they ran a marathon together.

“Wow—phew!—that meeting was the worst one I’ve sat in!” He wiped his brow as he continued, “That investor really wanted to tear down what makes Ponyville, Ponyville.”

Mayor Mare nodded. “That he did! I’m… surprised he wasn’t related to—ah—Chancellor Neighsay with how arrogant he was.”

Anon held his hands behind his head, gasping for air. After a few more breaths, he sighed and looked over at her. “I-I’m shocked too! Glad I was here to help you out.”

She shook her head and adjusted her glasses. With a smile, she held out a hoof to him. “We worked together to save Ponyville again.”

He eyed her outstretched leg and its hoof too. He grasped it lightly in his hand, and shook it carefully, like she was fragile and he was worried that anything at that point could happen upon shaking it. “Save might be too strong of a word, Mayor.”

She retracted her hoof before slamming it on the nearby table, making Anon take a sudden step back. “It’s the truth. I was not going to allow him to build on that land! Ponies would’ve been disappointed that the clearing by the school would be gone.”

Anon embedded himself in that claim. The investor was a bit pompous and selfish, but hey, at least there was some investment being put into the town and not more royalty coins being tossed into the ether.

“Understandable, but hopefully him being turned away won’t make other investors afraid to support Ponyville.”

“I highly doubt it, Anon. We’re just weeding out the weasels,” she proclaimed, a smirk wearing proudly on her face.

“Whatever you say, Mayor Mare.” He rubbed his nose suddenly, attempting to get rid of a sudden itch that tickled it.

She raised a brow. “Are you okay, Anon?”

He nodded and sat down at the table his boss nearly destroyed with her hoof. “Yep. I’ll be better here in a moment.”

“In a moment?” she parroted, taking a seat across from him.

Anon smirked. “Of course. You have to tell me all those compliments you have for me and—”

“I will, in due time. First, I think you have something to tell me,” she said, leaning forward.

“I do?” he asked, tilting his head.

“I believe that you’re still worried about something. Something relative to your sudden vacation.”

Anon took his tie and shifted it, hoping to somehow loosen it to give him more air. “I… I guess you’re right.”

Mayor Mare took a rather lengthy breath of air. “Anon you don’t need to hide it and—” She stopped herself abruptly and her eyes widened. “Wait, you’re outright admitting it?”

“You said to tell you, so I’ll oblige, even if I’m not as comfortable to tell you about it all now.”

A bout of silence overtook the room. Anon was preparing himself, twiddling with his left hand’s pointer finger with his right hand, while Mayor Mare patiently kept herself on the edge of her chair, giving Anon a smile that he hoped wasn’t there to placate him.

Then, he cleared his throat and began to tell her what he had told Starlight…

Spill Over; How Not to Offload Problems On Your Boss - Still in the Break Room

“So… let me get this straight.”

Anon meekly shifted in his seat.

“Twilight rejected you because you’re incompatible with our species, and therefore cannot be loved.”

He looked away from her, whistling all the while.

“And you’re okay with that?”

For some reason, those words stuck to him like a glove sticks to a baseball glove, seamless and hopefully not leaving until the next pitch. He growled. “No, not at all!”

Mayor Mare’s cheeks were red, not because of embarrassment, but because of anger. She had been shaking in her seat trying to understand Twilight’s train of thought, but here she was, shaking like a leaf on a tree. She groaned. “Then why are you not screaming on the top of your lungs!”

“I already did that when I got home that day.”

Suddenly, she stopped her anger, sagging into her seat, her jaw unhinged. “Like… straight after?”

Anon nodded. “Broke my wall too. Kind of childish, looking back on it, but… I guess that’s what happens when you realize you’re so unwanted that it goes beyond your comprehension.”

Mayor Mare growled at him, making Anon scoot back a bit. “Anon, you’re not unwanted!”

“To her, someone that I wanted to be with? Yes. To you? No, but only because I'm here to keep you sane and clean your office.”

She chuckled. “Well everypony needs somepony to counter them. You just so happen to counter me in every way—” She interrupted herself abruptly by laughing way too loudly at her own joke, which made Anon also jump in with a laugh. The two calmed down which spurred her to continue, “But hey, don’t think of it as childish. It could be interpreted by some as that—”

“And they’d be right—”

She rolled her eyes. “Whatever they think is fine, but look, it’s important to understand that you didn’t break anything else right?”

“Other than my dignity?”

She snorted. “Yes, other than your dignity.”

“Nope. Nothing else.”

“Then you’re not childish, you were stressed. You were upset. And that’s fine.”

And that’s fine. That’s fine for her.

But was it for him?

…

Carefully, Anon scratched his neck, letting out a puff of awkward laughs. “Heh, well that’s good to know.”

“And Anon?”

“Hmm?”

She reached out to grab Anon’s hand with her forehooves. “Never forgo telling someone about these feelings you have. You’re not used to us. We’re a different species with a different culture, but we’re not that much unlike each other. Just in body and in mind.”

He took a deep breath. “I prom—”

“No. Don’t promise me. They’re meant to be broken.” She smiled. “Don’t tell me you will, show me that you will.”

Anon smiled, letting out an anxious chuckle. He grabbed her hoof and shook it.

She shook his hand too.

“Thanks, Mayor Mare.”

“No problem.”

The two smiled in the silence, letting the world pass them by. Anon surmised it was a minute or so, but he didn’t have a watch on him, and the clock sounded off-kelter in the break room, not that the slow movement of the clock on the wall was to blame.

Mayor Mare cleared her throat. “Ahem, Anon, let’s get more of that office of mine cleared,” she declared, hopping off her seat.

Anon shook his head in disbelief. That mare…

“Right behind you.”

A Long Day Turned Into a(n) Splendid Evening (Get That Word Out of Your Mouth, Anon!) - Just Outside Mayor Mare’s Office

“Great work today, Anon!”

He blinked and froze while holding open the door to her office. “Uhh… you’ve never said that to me.”

“I know,” Mayor Mare said. “I’ve always said it in my head, but I’ve never vocalized it.” She stood up from behind her desk and walked up to him. She nuzzled his leg before sitting on her flanks. “I… I am the one that should have apologized to you. I hope that all those compliments really hit home for you.”

Anon smiled. “Yeah, they did. It’s… it’s good to know that some of what I was feeling was silly and—”

“No, they were not silly. They were created by your stress.” She paused to take a rather shaky breath. “And that’s fine. We’ll do better and—no, I will do better to ensure you’re not going to combust into a million Mous pieces.”

He laughed. “Not the greatest imagery, but I appreciate it all the same.”

“I appreciate a more put-together you, Anon.” She walked back behind her desk and sat properly. “I’ll take care of the little last bits of filing. You have a date with Starlight, correct?”

“D-Date?”

Anon’s face grew with warmth as Mayor Mare framed her glasses better on her face, while wearing a complimentary smirk. “Isn’t that what you two are? Dating?”

He shook his head rather fast. “No, no. We’re just friends now.”

“Now…?” Mayor Mare said, her head tilted while her left ear twitched.

He clamped his mouth shut, only to shakily sigh at the sight of Mayor Mare’s prodding. “Yes, now. We weren’t really friends before and…”

“I’m glad that you are. She’s definitely a great friend to have around.”

He thought for a second. Where was Starlight? Wasn’t she going to visit them today? Or did he miss her randomly when he went to the bathroom?

“Yeah… say, didn’t she stop by the office earlier today?”

Mayor Mare’s muzzle scrunched up. “Hmm… I don’t believe so. Unless she was waiting in the lobby. Why do you ask?”

Anon cleared his throat. “Nothing. Just making sure.”

Mayor Mare tilted her head for a moment before nodding. “Okay. Well, get on with your date and—”

“It’s not a date!”

“Ah, young love! I remember when I was in love and…”

Anon groaned as Mayor Mare talked about her suitors… again.

Late Evening - Still Outside Mayor Mare’s Office (Where Are You, Starlight, Please Oh God Have—)

“And that’s why I couldn’t find somepony to love me, but that’s okay, at least I got to see what it was like!”

“I somehow s-survived…” Anon muttered, clasping his hands together against his face.

Hearing about Mayor Mare’s romantic escapades was not something Anon wanted to hear, but here he was, still existing (somehow) after hearing of her many suitors. He had heard this once before, and he had drunk himself, but apparently she had left out some very pertinent details that made him wish he could drink more. Thankfully, alcohol wasn’t something he could readily purchase without Applejack sending smoke signals in his direction, so he was deemed to the torture Mayor Mare deployed that was more traumatizing than Twilight’s words.

Wait… Twilight?

Anon blinked.

Wow, that was more traumatizing. He hadn’t thought about her the entire time, and—wait wasn’t he supposed to ask Mayor Mare about her?

Sighing, Anon looked back at his source of information, who was looking at him happily, only to yawn as if by reflex.

“Phew, wow,” Mayor Mare interjected, holding her forehoof toward her muzzle. She set her hoof back down and frowned. “After all that recounting, I am absolutely exhausted. How about you?”

Anon wouldn’t mind getting some sleep tonight— “O-Of course!” Anon blurted out, stuttering all the while. “I-I’ll rest easy tonight knowing that you went through so many earth-shattering break-ups.”

She shrugged, before letting out a brief blow. “Whatever you say, Anon.”

He rolled his eyes. “Starlight, if there is any hope, please save me—”

The sounds of hooves clip-clopping toward him interrupted Anon’s plea. His ears tuned into the frequency, his head turning just enough to see her, his savior incarnate. Her purple mane bounced as she trotted toward them, a look of concern plastered on her face. Her pink ears perked up at the sight of the two, and her right brow was equally raised too.

“Am I interrupting something—eek!”

Anon lunged at Starlight, wrapping his arms around her, making her squeak.

“A-Anon?”

“Hey, Starlight,” Anon muttered, holding her tightly in his arms. The two stayed there in their embrace, Starlight slowly returning his sudden hug.. “I am so glad to see you.”

“I couldn’t tell!”

He snorted and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well, we can talk about that later. Right now, you need to save me from Mayor Mare.”

Starlight pulled away and blinked like a strobe light. “Save you from who?”

Mayor Mare trotted in front of them, which startled the both of them enough to make Anon let go of Starlight. Mayor Mare squee’d happily, trotting in place. “I am so happy for the both of you! You two look so great together.”

Starlight blushed, and so did he. “We’re not together like that, Mayor Mare. We’re just friends.”

“Right…” Mayor Mare murmured, her eyes narrow. She shook the glare off and smiled. “Anywho, I’m glad you have finally arrived, Starlight. We were wondering where you were.”

Starlight smiled. “Of course!” She turned and nuzzled Anon’s leg as she spoke, “I’m sorry I’m late, Anon. I got held up at the school due to a couple of ponies who needed to stay for a rather lengthy detention sentence—”

Anon tilted his head. “What did they do?”

She snorted. “They teepee’d Trixie’s office. There was a lot of cleaning up to do and—why are you looking at me like that, Mayor Mare?”

Mayor Mare stared on in horror, her mouth unhinged.

Meanwhile, Anon stifled a chuckle, before bursting out in uncontrollable laughter. “T-That’s something I-I’d do!”

Starlight frowned. “Anon, that’s not—pffttt—that funny!”

The two continued to laugh while Mayor Mare shook her head. She turned around to lock the door, walking past them while muttering something that Anon barely could parse out:

“Ponies will be ponies…”

With that, Mayor Mare turned around and smiled. “I’ll make sure to leave first. Anon, thank you for stopping by for work today. I’m glad to have you back.”

Anon released Starlight, looking at her for some guidance. She just nodded, gesturing a hoof toward Mayor Mare. He smiled and walked over to Mayor Mare, lowering himself down to her level and patting her on the head. He shared a toothy grin. “Thanks for welcoming me back. And for listening to me ramble about everything.”

A faint red blush painted itself clearly on Mayor Mare’s cheeks. “It’s good to ensure that my best employee stays sane.”

“Mayor Mare, I’m your only employee.”

She blinked a bit, before nodding at him with a smile plastered on her face. “Exactly!”

The three laughed altogether. Starlight wrapped her forehoof around Anon and nuzzled his cheek.

Yep, things were finally looking up.

Things were really looking up…

Author's Note

Song for this chapter:

Edits completed on January 2nd, 2025.

How We Say Goodbye

Late Evening - Trekking Through No Man(Other Than Anon)’s Land - Ponyville Central

The two were walking side-by-side. Close together.

“Isn’t that what you two are? Dating?”

“Dating?”

“Date—”

Anon gulped. The thought rang loudly in his head, echoing like he had just screamed the word ‘dating’ on the top of his lungs.

Mayor Mare. That mare… his employer, thought he was dating Starlight. Funny how the world worked, and how rent free the thought was in his head. He didn’t have any understanding as to why. He didn’t love Starlight, but the thought, the misconstrued nature of it all, and with it being so soon after his attempt at a confession smacked him square in the face with nothing but regret, biology, and futile wanting for someone who didn’t care, he—

A hitch. A breath lodged deep within him. He cleared it, miraculously and slowly, albeit with some hesitation, which sputtered a cough from his mouth.

“Are you okay, Anon?”

The mare who made him metaphorically shit himself in his mind, Starlight Glimmer, was looking up at him with a gaze so full of concern for him, so full of warmth that her eyes glistened in the night light. A slight smile graced her lips as she trotted beside him. His gaze gravitated oh-so-naturally to her neck, and then down her withers…

Anon nodded dumbly in her direction.

“Oh, good! Was worried Mayor Mare hypnotized you or something.”

The ridiculousness of that phrase brought Anon back to life, raising a brow at her. “You think she has some funky moon runes or something?”

“Moon runes, Anon?” A shrug earned fair and square made Starlight giggle. “You and your imagination. No, she doesn’t have any of those. She might have a watch somewhere in her desk though. Probably that broken silver watch she uses to spellbind innocent stallions to bend to her will.”

“Really?”

A stuttered laugh filled the air, followed by a snort. “O-Okay, if you believe that—snrrrkk—you’re either scarred for life or gullible. While I can believe a little bit of gullible-ne-ess exists in that head of yours, it doesn’t mean you have to embrace it wholeheartedly, Anon.”

Anon shrugged and lowered his gaze. “Would make for an interesting memory, or a terrible picture in a yearbook.”

“Guess so,” Starlight replied, smiling at him. She bumped her body against his. “Soooo?”

“Sooo…?”

“Come on!” She did her little tappies like she was frustrated with the dirt underneath her while she walked. “You know what I’m talking about. I told you to ask her, didn’t I?”

“Mayor Mare?”

“Yes! Egh. Did she give you anything?”

“Why do you make my relationship problems sound like a drug deal, Starlight?”

She replied with a little side step dance thing with her hooves—must’ve been a stick in the path or something. “Drug… deals?”

Anon rolled his eyes. “Disregard.” She did the sidestep thing again—there wasn’t a stick at all this time. She actually did that? A brow raised for the occasion. “New dance move?”

“Yes, the mare’s new groove.” She let out a giggle-snort and this time rubbed up against Anon’s right leg. “No, I wish. Dancing isn’t exactly the greatest skill of mine.”

A smile grew on his face as they continued to walk. It was hard to let it keep growing, knowing that he was nearly lockstep with Starlight while being surrounded by several ponies, probably herds (he didn’t know how they walked, but they sure looked like a clown posse trying to do the stanky leg in sync). All those eyes tracing them like a copyrighted piece of art.

Man, Ponyville was definitely alive this evening. Not that it needed to be, it was a quaint town after all. A quaint town that made sure those who didn’t have someone less lonely. Unless they weren’t aware of them, which was rare.

“What’s your greatest skill then, Starlight?”

“Greatest skill? Other than magic?”

Anon let out a brief chuckle as the tilted head gave him diabetes, his heart strained. “Yes, other than magic.”

She hummed to herself. “Being a great friend.”

“Boring…”

The mocking cop out response made Anon groan in agony. Cheese with extra expired Cheeto dust and pronto. Even he could’ve done better than that. She could’ve said like ‘yeah making out with my best friend Trixie’ and he would’ve believed it. But no, she went all ‘friendship’ on him like some prima-madonna trying to PG herself to musical hell. Egh. Gross.

“What? Being a great friend is key to a happy life!”

“You sound like you’re married.”

“I’m not! Trust me. I’ve kept my options open.”

Anon held a smirk behind his guise. He chose to roll his eyes and circle back to that friendship of hers. “Surprised you have. You haven’t shown me much on how friendship works with us.”

Starlight’s happy gaze slowly faltered in the light, her lips drew blank in a relaxed state. “You’re… right. I’m working on it with you, but…” She let out a mix of a growl and a moan. “Alright, I’ll choose a new one!” She tapped her chin momentarily before gasping. “I got it! My consideration of others!”

“Consideration of… others?”

“Yes. Ever since I’ve been here, I’ve improved on my ability to really consider others—” Anon almost jumped in but Starlight furrowed her brows at him, which made him reconsider his life choices. “—and I know what you’re going to say. Remember what I said? And my response to that is of course I did! But trust me, when a friend is in need, I’ll be there.”

“So your skill that you chose is ‘if you’re aware of an issue, you’re able to solve it’?”

“Exactly. Which is why I’m here with you now instead of with the other girls.”

“Because…?” Anon asked, flipping his arm around in a circle.

“Because I know they’re going to be fine without me for a day. Besides, I had you on the schedule, and that means that I’m not taking you off the schedule unless you want to be off the schedule.”

She flipped out some random pad of paper. She shoved it toward his direction and it read ‘Anon and Starlight night out’ in fancy cursive. Whatever that meant. Anon wasn’t the one to debate, nor was he the kind to really scoff at Starlight so foul. Instead, he was apt to tell her thirteen reasons why he was going to investigate her life choices, while judging her for not talking to him and caring for him when it mattered. Whatever. Twilight could sulk and—wait… Twilight?

He blinked away his scattered-brain self and shifted gears. “Night out huh? Are we going to some club?”

“I wish.” Starlight frowned. “The only club in town is currently closed due to maintenance. Bet you twenty bits some pony got a bit too frisky in there with their herdmate and made quite a mess.”

“Yeah…”

Anon looked around. The sun was still out, but it was fading behind the horizon line, its orange glow lighting up the sky as the moon favored the world above. Meanwhile, in his brave new world, Anon saw in front of them a cafe. Recently built. Looked a bit like the Sugarcube Corner, but had a different entrance, and quite a plain presentation. A sign above the door dangled there in the slight wind. It said Lime’s Cafe in some etch-a-sketched writing, like it was shakily carved in there by hoof.

“Welcome to Lime’s Cafe,” Starlight chimed.

“I assume the owner is named Lime?”

“Lime Ayds, as a matter of fact. They haven't updated the sign yet. Also she’s a nice mare,” Starlight began with a slight smile. He turned around and peered through the nearby storefront window. “She came back from Canterlot after, well, pursuing her career as a chef.”

“Did it pan out?”

He spared a glance back over at Starlight, who blinked at him like a strobe light gone rogue. “Anon, you didn’t mean to say that.”

Anon tilted his head and then—oh— “I didn’t mean it like that.”

She let out a brief blow and sucked in some air. “Good, I was about to turn you into a leftover pile of magic, but since you didn’t mean it…” A smirk morphed on her muzzle. “I’ll let it slide.”

“Good,” Anon began, taking a brief sniff of the air. It smelled good, but he didn’t know what it was. Something fluffy for sure… “Even if her career didn't go so well, it sure smells like she knows how to cook something.”

Starlight smiled. “She’s a pretty good chef. Has some of the best hayfries in town.”

He spared a glance back at her. “Can she cook a mean steak?”

Starlight rolled her eyes. “Sorry, I don’t speak wrong.”

“Neither do I,” Anon replied, smirking. It earned him a little chuckle from Starlight, but nothing more, which made him assess his situation a bit more, his eyes peering back inside through the main storefront window. Inside, he saw rows of tables and chairs, and nothing but. No booths. No hanging light fixtures that were hanging way too low for anyone to deal with. There were a few of them hanging from above, surely, and even some candles too, from what he gathered, but nothing more. A few servers were strolling around, carrying other ponies orders in their magic, while others simply chose the au naturel means of serving others up some grub: high kicks and hoping it sticks.

“Are you going to peer through the window or are we going to go inside and eat, Anon?”

Anon shook his head and then turned to Starlight. “Right… lead on.”

The door swung open.

Bbrrrnnnnggggg!

A bell rang as they walked in (she held the door for Anon, for some reason, so he scootched ever-so-slightly by her), alerting them to the staff. They waited not too long before one came up to them and bowed, a smile gracing their blue cheeks. Their mane was done up in a ponytail, which made Anon wonder if they actually called it that, or if it was called something else.

“Hello! W-Welcome to Lime Ayds’s Cafe, where you’ll never feel self conscious while we pester you about getting pictures of our food!” For some reason, they smiled a bit more after they said that. “You may sit wherever you like and I will be right with you.”

Anon watched as the mare walked toward the backroom, most likely to catch any other orders coming in. He assumed that she was a mare since, well, she had this air to her that screamed it out loud to him. Not to mention before she turned away, her name tag that rested on her chest, her little uniform get-up being frilly and all, read ‘Crest’ crudely drawn on it with hearts surrounding both sides of her name. That name tag alone could’ve served as the identifier if it wasn’t for her physical features mirroring that of Starlight’s, but he was not as focused on that as the glaring name tag scribbled in neon colors.

He sighed and tapped Starlight on her withers.

“Huh?”

“You heard her, let’s go take a seat. Do you mind where we sit?”

Starlight blinked and gasped. She shook her head, which made Anon confused, only for her to do this rapid-fire blinking thing like she was a strobe light trying to recalibrate herself, and that alone made Anon reconsider what was going on in that little pony's head. She nodded dumbly at him and walked like she was in a trance, wide-eyed and probably seeing the sky fall in front of her, her cheeks red.

He just walked beside her, making sure she didn’t crash into a waitress or something. Would be funny, but also terrible, and he wasn’t a fan of making her day worse than his. So, he vouched for coverage by wrapping an arm over her barrel, pulling her closer to him. She squeaked (he thought, it sounded like a bird squawking instead), but she didn’t make another noise, not even a peep. After a few moments of walking, she wordlessly tapped on a table and stumbled into it.

Anon fell into the seat opposite of hers. They were in a booth on the farside of the place. Secluded. Away from the window he had peered through before they entered the cafe. Away from anypony else.

Great...

Starlight twiddled with her forehooves, while she spared a glance or two at Anon, who just observed it all, wondering if she was okay or completely embarrassed at her little ‘deer in headlights’ zombie walk through the place.

“All good?” Anon asked with a bit of a drone to his voice.

She sighed. “Sorry, for some reason, I remembered something and it just got me in this sort of mood.”

“Mood? You looked like you were seeing two of everything.”

A hardy-har escaped Starlight. “Yeah, basically. I’m glad we found a seat away from everypony though. Ponies usually don’t come over here unless this place is full, and well, it's pretty quiet now that it's getting late...”

Her voice trailed off, and she looked at him again with some sort of gaze. Like a starry-eyed one. What was going on here?

“Yeah…” he muttered, plucking a menu from the stack that was presented at the table. A bit strange the menu was sitting there, but hey, if the a la carte was going to be already there, might as well snag a peek at it. And snag Anon did, glaring over it and—

“The Borger? What in the egregious spelling error am I looking at?”

Starlight tilted her head. “The Borger is pretty cool from what I remember. It is kinda small though.”

“Small?”

She nodded and put her hoof on the table. She then slid it up for what Anon believed was for him to look at. “See the inner part of my hoof?”

He did. It was small. “Yes—wait, you’re lying.”

“No,” Starlight announced with a smirk. “It’s smaller than that.”

“Smaller than that?”

“Smaller than that.”

…

“Like how small—”

“Double.”

“Double?!”

Starlight hummed as she flicked open her menu. “Actually trip—”

“No. No!” Anon raised his voice as he read over the pr— “One hundred and forty-eight bits for that?!”

Her magic shimmered in the orange light. Oh, and her menu was upside down. Another hum too, emitted behind the menu. “You must have a misprint menu, Anon.”

“Oh thank god,” Anon began, wiping his brow. He set the menu aside and shoved it behind the others in the metal carrier. He grabbed another one and sighed. “Was about to consider this a highway robbery and—”

“It’s actually four hundred and eighty bits.”

Anon’s brow twitched. So did his face… and his chest. His heart was telling him to do a nine hundred off an off-ramp, while his mind was seeing four Starlight Glimmers.

He didn’t know which option was worse. The one with the hearts for eyes, or the one that looked like she was about to commit that friendship fraud she had hinted at back at his place. Also why was there one that was wearing a question mark on her face?

“Anon, are you—”

“Starlight, tell me, do you like banging your head against a desk for twenty hours?”

“No…” she said slowly in a way that made him think she was taste-testing that response of hers. Her brow raised farther than Anon thought. “Why are you asking that?”

Anon frowned. “Nevermind. You’re paying, right?”

“Yeah,” Starlight said. “I asked you to come here, it’s only fair.”

“Yeah—wait, really?”

She nodded and took a deep breath. “I wanted to make sure you were treated right. Order anything you’d like.”

“Well with how you described the portion of whatever the Borger is, I’m worried that I’m going to be more hungry afterwards.”

A laugh graced his ears. It was fluttery, like butterflies on a Spring day, yet it was foreign, strange, but he wanted to hear it again, even if it was going to shatter his ears like a Church window pane crashing into a million pieces.

He smiled as Starlight spoke and—wait, she was talking right now! Why was he imagining a Church window glass breaking? And oh, now he saw why. That smirk. It was on her muzzle, loud and proud. Oh whatever she was saying he was going to most certainly hate and— “Anyway, what did you and Mayor Mare do today?”

“The usual," Anon droned. "Work, work, and more work. We almost punted some goofball investor to the moon because he was wanting to change Ponyville’s identity, and Mayor Mare and I weren’t having any of his nonsense.”

“Oh?” she said, her tone rising through the word. She set the menu aside with her magic, and leaned forward. “Tell me more.”

Anon felt a sudden shift in her voice. Maybe he was imagining it. Either that or she was really interested in how the city made land agreements.

Whatever. Talk about drama, horses, and WD40. The best thing in the world. Anything that’ll distract him from portion sizes, the misspelling of the word ‘aids’, and bad decisions. Anything is better than the last one. Anything.

“He was some big shot investor out of Cloudsdale. Said getting Ponyville to the next step of commercial dom was to literally uproot our grassroots by creating some extravagant building over by the schoolhouse—”

“You mean the open land that’s been there since Twilight got here?”

“Actually it’s been there for even longer but yes.”

Starlight blinked.

“Seriously?”

“Yep.”

She blinked again.

“Like, he wasn’t drunk when he walked in?”

“No. Dead serious.”

She licked her lips. And of course, she blinked again.

“You’re lying.”

“Nope. I can tell you which train he left on and we can see if the conductor knows the fella. Probably does.”

“No, no. Speaking is not an option. We need action, like giving him friendship lessons and—”

Anon placed his hand firmly on the table. “I don’t need you to guise friendship lessons as a way to push his muzzle in, Starlight. I also don't need you catching an assault charge because someone with pockets decided to unload them onto a couple unwilling participants.”

“Unwilling?”

Her raised brow made Anon sigh. “Wrong word choice. We were very willing to hear what he had to say. We just didn’t like his idea.”

"What was his idea?"

Anon snorted. "Some abridged version of a shopping center back in my world. It had all these amenities that didn't make sense, and for some reason, it had cloud vapor being sold as cotton candy. I don't know how that would work, but here this poor excuse of a stallion was trying to sell it to us like it was the next big thing for Ponyville."

Starlight's brows furrowed, not out of anger, but out of concern. "You... sure that guy was not trying to pitch for that in Cloudsdale?"

"He sorta did, and then had the brilliant idea of building it in Ponyville to 'attract more pegasi' to move here."

Anon saw the end of Starlight's muzzle twitch. "Uh... why?"

"If I knew, Starlight, I would tell you. Unfortunately, I'm not as dumb as him. Unless you think it's my mission to tell others about how dumb I am."

"Isn’t that what your job is?"

Anon let out a rather loud belly laugh. "N-No! Are... you kidding?"

She shook her head.

That made him laugh even louder. So loud that he started seeing colors. Like, many of them, including the ones in the Crayola boxes back home. It took him a few moments to calm down, mostly because he was gasping for air and laying flat on his side of the booth. He could see Starlight peering over the booth, probably standing on her hind legs to get even a smidgen of a view of him, but she didn’t expect him to prop himself up so soon, her legs hobbling as she yelped back down in her seat, bouncing like she was on a trampoline with nearly defective springs. He snorted, shifting in his own seat. His posture was off, or something. Either that or his laughter goofed up his alignment. He wasn’t expecting to laugh that loudly over her obvious joke.

"S-Sorry, I wasn't expecting to... to do that."

"No problem," Starlight said. She scooted a little closer somehow, even if it was only a smidge. "I'm just happy that you're happy."

That... made him conflicted. She sounded thoughtful but...

The lingering noise in Anon's ears made him wonder if there was some forced concern there.

He shrugged. "Happiness can be contagious, just like sneezing."

As if on queue, Starlight's eyes widened, and she gasped, wincing as she tried to hold back whatever was about to happen to her. Heck, even her horn was charging up and—

"Achoo."

The magic in her horn sparked, and then there was nothing. A dud in her magic, like a malfunctioning hand grenade that uttered a soft 'achoo' instead of shrapnel of death.

"Sorry about that, Anon," Starlight replied, giggling to herself like the little giggle-monster she had become. "It's like you saying it became a reality!"

"Must be my own form of magic," he said, wiggling his brows in tandem.

"Yeah, your magic."

A punctuated eye roll told Anon otherwise. "Only learn from the best!"

"Twilight?"

"No, you. Goofball."

"You're lying."

"No, I'm not."

"Yeah, you are. It was totally Twilight and not—"

"Yeah, it was totally Twilight."

They chuckled and giggled at their table, much to the chagrin of ponies around them. Not that it mattered. They were all alone in their own little corner, only seeing a couple of servers run by their island of man and pone.

At least he had someone to share his loneliness with.

...

“Anything else happen today?” Starlight asked, her head tilted to her right, while her right ear flopped like a dog’s ear, but twitched like an antenna finding a signal.

Anon hummed a deep, low hum that even shocked himself with how low it was. And then he stopped and tried to smile.

All he could muster was an anguished moan.

Starlight gasped. “Anon? Are you okay?”

"Yes...”

“Are you sure?”

He nodded and held his head up high. What was with him? Thinking of being alone when he had someone with her? Was that okay to think? Or was he beating himself up for no reason?

It was probably the latter. It totally was, but...

She tilted her head. “You know, I want to be your friend."

“I know—”

“And if you’re about to say anything about yourself in a negative light, I will—”

"You will what?"

She took a deep breath and sharpened her grin. "I'll help you get through it, like any good friend would."

She said those words.

And all he could think about was everything that led up to this point. How she helped comfort him about being simply himself. How it didn't matter what Twilight and others like her would think.

But still, something felt off and—

"And what if I was thinking negatively about myself?"

She held a hoof out from across the table and smiled. "I'm here to help you, Anon. I'm here not out of pity or anything. I’m here as a friend, as someone who cares about you."

Guess ponies could feel that way, huh? That way where things don't make sense. Where up is down and down is up? He wasn’t talking about that place. Anon knew that other place, where Discord roamed. And no, it's not Fluttershy's cottage, although he tried sprucing it up that one time.

No, it was elsewhere. Where Discord wouldn't go.

"Then I am."

Those little words left his mouth before he could take them back, so he watched her. He watched her good.

She was frozen, luckily still in her seat. Her mouth was somewhat stuck in place, not agape but just slightly ajar, while her ears splayed slightly against her head. He wanted to run over and hug her, but he kept himself contained, keeping himself somewhat grounded to the seat as he didn't want her to feel uncomfortable. And her being uncomfortable would make him uncomfortable, and then there would be this uncomfortable wedge between them, and then the food would arrive and she would leave just like Twilight did and then he would be stuck paying for everything... again.

He pursed his upper lip.

“Only just a thought? Nothing more?”

Anon hung his head but tried to bob his head to show some reassurance. She at least deserved that.

"And it's nothing too serious, right? Like... l-like you're not thinking about..."

"Maybe."

The whimper he heard afterwards, a really muffled one, irked him. It irked him so much that he looked back up at her, to gauge her reaction.

That was a mistake.

She was back in her seat. She was leaning back now, a frown sporting her muzzle, while a glistening of a tear matted her cheek as it had tried to race down that cheek of hers. “I wouldn't want you to feel that way, Anon. Not one bit."

Silence. He wanted to say something, but his thoughts were lodged in his throat. Instead, that quiet perforated the room and the room next door (somehow). Anon only heard the door chime again, although the squeakiness of it appeared and he was suddenly thinking about his front door again and how it was squeaky too, and it needed WD40, just like this one did.

And then he looked at Starlight.

And she looked at him.

And he felt his throat finally clear up and—

“Hello, am I interrupting something?”

The name tag from before came into view, then her face, and then her confusion.

Starlight looked away from him, using one of her hooves to rub that tear streak off her face. She then cleared her throat and shifted on her side of the booth, putting on a smile that he knew wasn’t really that happy.. “No. W-We’re… we’re ready, right?”

Anon nodded and nearly choked on his own saliva, but caught himself by adjusting his attire. “R-Right. We're ready to order.”

“Okay, and what would you two like?”

Nighttime - Just Outside Lime Ayds’ Cafe

The rest of the cafe visit was…

Anon frowned. Starlight was still with him, thankfully. She hadn’t left, despite what he had even said. He should've not gone down that route. It made her worried and well, he's made Starlight a worrywort enough for two days, let alone one. He didn't need to have her soak in his negativity. His life. His thoughts.

What he had entertained…

He didn’t want to hear them. Not again. Those words. He was already ahead of them.

…

Yet they still lingered, didn’t they?

After Crest took their orders (and reminded them to take pictures of the food), conversation was amiss. They both looked elsewhere. And then the food came, and they ate in relative silence. A few bits of conversation here, like when Starlight asked what Anon thought, and Anon thought it (the food) belonged in the trash.

That at least made the light above them glow a bit brighter (did someone screw in this lightbulb wrong or what?).

After all that food talk, nothing else was said. She was probably afraid to bring it up again, and he was too worried about what she’d say if he tried to change the topic. Maybe that’s what she wanted though, or maybe he was just going to give her more whiplash than earlier. You don’t hear every day that your new friend you’re trying to be friends with is dealing with thoughts of—

He swallowed that one up. He wasn’t going to say it. It wasn’t needed. Starlight was still here, after all.

She was walking next to him. They were already outside the cafe, and were now walking aimlessly around Ponyville. It was interesting to say the least, until someone decided to walk toward them. For some reason, Starlight would scoot right in front, shielding Anon from the mare or stallion, and then she'd growl at them like they just stepped on her hoof and she was angry about it. Maybe that whole conversation in the cafe had an after effect, and now she was protecting him. Pitying him.

Like a—

No, no. That's not her intention. He knew it. It was just them being ponies. Mares particularly. Those instincts were so active. It confused him, like, what if that pony she nearly zapped to dust wanted to just say, 'hi'? Was that a crime here when a mare was with someone they deemed important that you weren't able to talk to them?

"Aren't you dat—"

Anon sighed. He really wanted to purchase an ejector seat for Mayor Mare that way he could test to see how far she flew. That's what she deserved for implanting this… feeling in his head. What a silly little—

“Anon.”

Firm. A one word directive. He looked over at her. “Yeah, Starlight?”

"I was trying to get your attention. Are you okay?"

"Yeah?" Anon answered with a raised brow. "Sorry, got distracted."

"By me?"

"No. Worse."

"Was it the cafe?"

He shook his head.

"Are you sure? If it is, I’m sorry that the cafe was a bit…”

“Overpriced?”

She chuckled, airly, for a moment. “That and a bit… not what you expected.”

He waved her off with his hand that wasn’t gravitating towards his door. “It’s alright. It’s my fault anyway and—”

“Nope. I’m not playing the fault game with you. I should’ve not pried.”

Anon kept his mouth shut. He wasn’t going to rebut that. Not worth the fault game, like she said.

Starlight hung her head. “I’m sorry about... everything.”

“Don’t be. If we’re not going to play the fault game, then promise me this.”

“Okay..."

“Hang out with me tomorrow.”

“Sure, and wait, you want to meet up again?”

Anon nodded. “You want that title, right?”

Starlight sniffled. “Y-Yeah.” She rubbed the front of her muzzle with a hoof. “I do.”

“Good. Glad you’re okay with my negativity.”

“I'm not okay with your negativity you have for yourself, Anon. I’m only willing to tolerate those thoughts so I can… hopefully, get them away from you someday.”

“Through the power of friendship huh?”

A laugh spurred out of her, followed by a hoof pointing directly at his chest. “And you said it was boring!” She playfully shoved Anon in the side of his waist.

He laughed and patted her head. “It is, but thanks for showing a glimpse of it being not so boring.”

She smiled. It looked good on her. “Glad I could make you see the light." She snorted as she looked up, whistling all the while. “Looks like it's time for me to say goodnight, so I’ll make my leave."

"You sure? You don't want me to walk you back?"

She glanced back over at him, still holding that smile. “Yeah, I'm sure. We can save that for tomorrow. Gotta get that beauty sleep otherwise I'll look like I've seen Tartarus in four dimensions." She giggled behind her hoof, before turning to leave. "See you tomorrow, Anon."

“G’night, Star—" He started, only to inhale all the air in the vicinity with one tenacious gulp. "Wait! When do you want to meet up tomorrow?"

Starlight turned around, humming in thought. "Hmm... how about we meet by the Sugarcube Corner after you're done with work?"

"Already thinking of getting more food tomorrow?"

She snorted. "No, it's just an easy place to recognize and—"

"I know," Anon said with a grin. "I'm just messing. I'll see you then."

Starlight smiled and waved a hoof at him. "See ya, Anon!"

He watched as she left, seeing her mane bob with her every step. She did spare a glance back over at him, seeing if he was still there or not. And he was. He was looking at her for a while. And then when she was out of sight. He looked up. He looked up and saw the sky. It looked nice. It looked really nice.

Did the moon always look this beautiful?

He didn't know. He didn't know as he turned around and walked on home.

Author's Note

Song for this chapter:

Edits completed on January 2nd, 2025.

Is It Just Me?

The Next Day - Sitting on a Singular Stair Step of the Entrance to the Sugarcube Corner - Where in Equestria was Starlight Glimmer?

“Uh…”

Anon’s voice trailed off. He was sitting there, right in front of the Sugarcube Corner, waiting for Starlight to meet up with him, and of course, he got himself stuck in a precarious situation, one totally not caused by him whatsoever. Instead, it was caused by a pony, a teal one with a horn on her head. She was staring at him with an intense squint, her eyes searching his face while her snout was slowly moving closer and closer to his face. She then would tilt her head a little, and that would make him wonder if she would pounce on him, which would most likely trigger his flight or fight response (it was totally his flight one, he ain’t fighting whatever this horned weirdo was thinking of); while other times, she would have this little ear tweak before it would flop against her skull, and that moment, it was like watching a dog waiting for her owner to throw a ball past them. It would surprise Anon a little if he saw the mare’s tail swaying behind her, like ‘Ooo, throw me the ball that you have in your left pocket!’ and—

He coughed when the mare suddenly shook her head and leaned back, standing more upright than ever before.

“Do you…?”

“Sorry,” she muttered, her golden eyes blinking. “Do you come here often?”

“No,” Anon said.

He didn’t want to say anything else. This mare was freaking him out. But for some reason, he wasn’t going to walk away from this one. He had a feeling, one that tickled his back hairs and his spine at the same time, that the mare would follow him if he went elsewhere. So Anon stayed. Anon waited and waited and waited. Nothing happened.

He waited some more.

…

The mare’s muzzle twitched.

Anon gulped as he saw her horn start to channel magic into it, its hue being a rich gold, just like her eyes, and then his eyes widened and—

“What species are you?”

“I’m a hu—

“Hey Lyra!”

Suddenly, another pony appeared out of thin air. This time, it wasn’t the Pink one either. It was a cream colored mare, her voice rather jovial despite just causing Anon to jumpstart his heart with a jumpscare out of hell, while the one that was now not charging her magic turned to her and—

“Hey, Bonnie!”

The two shared a nuzzle.

“Uh…”

‘Bonnie’ turned to him, her mane full of bounce—kinda like Starlight’s—and smiled. “Sorry about Lyra. She just freezes up whenever she comes across a new species she has never seen before!”

The fact she has a track record for meeting new species made Anon cautiously respond, “Okay…” He raised a brow at Lyra, who was now babbling something about his ‘weirdly shaped hooves’. “Is she good?”

“Probably,” Bonnie said with a shrug. “I’m surprised this is the first time we’ve seen you here. Isn’t your name Anon?”

Anon mentally shat himself upon hearing his name. He glanced over at the formerly intense-staring pony whose name is Lyra (great, at least he knows her’s now too) and watched as she was smiling softly at the two of them. Yet, in Anon’s mind, that smile turned wicked, a grin spreading to both ends of her cheeks, and he wondered if he was just mentally making these pictures up out of an internal panic he was creating for himself.

Probably.

“Yeah.”

Anon decided to not elaborate any further. He needed to keep himself short. Ignore them. Ignore them maybe. It’ll work, as long as another ‘Bonnie’ type didn’t get birthed from the ether. Heck, he’d even be okay if it’s the Chosen One (Pinkie Pie) that gave him his next heart attack, but he’s gotten a bit more acclimated to her sudden appearances out of thin air, so he’d probably just see his life flash before his eyes instead. But with this discovery, that another pony had that ability made him wonder if these ponies had a spy division in their military.

“Oh? Hi! I was at your welcome party. Do you remember me?”

He squinted. There were a lot of ponies there (thanks to Pinkie, of course), so remembering everyone’s name that day was not possible. So, he shook his head.

“No, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry, Anon. There were a lot of ponies there, so I don’t blame you at all,” Bonnie cheerfully replied. “It’s nice to finally meet you outside that party.”

“Likewise,” he said lamely, but watched as Bonnie flung out her hoof in front of him, like she wanted him to shake it. He looked at it, saw that it looked normal, and then just looped his fingers around it. Then, he shook it.

She returned her hoof to her side, albeit slowly. Anon knew where this awkward exchange was going, judging by how she was rubbing her hoof with her other hoof just now. She was probably wondering why his hand felt weird against her fur. He had to get through a few loops just to get Twilight’s friends to shake his hand. They said it was like little spiders were crawling on their skin, and that alone made them feel uncomfortable. But then they realize it's his hand, and they’re fine with it.

Bonnie appeared to be the same way. Smiling awkwardly, lips twitching, and totally not holding her hoof still.

Lyra picked up on this, her scowl now apparent on her face, but then it morphed into concern when she turned to Bonnie. “Are you okay, Bonnie?”

She shoved her hoof back to the ground, shakily. “I’m fine. His… um…”

“Fingers,” Anon added.

“Right, fingers…” she said, shivering. “They tickled.”

“Tickled?”

“Like spiders.”

Anon mentally fist pumped. He was a mind reader. Maybe he can be one of those types with the funky tent setup, and the magical ball ‘OoOoOo’ type person—wait, isn’t that just reading palms?

He hummed to himself. Tuning out the conversation that was going on right beside him. It was probably still about his hands. Whatever. Where was Starlight? Was she fashionably late again or something?

Egh.

He looked back over at the two mares. They stopped talking now, and were looking at him. One had opened their mouth and—

“Did you hear anything we were saying?”

Anon blinked.

“Sorry, my selective hearing was on. What did you say?”

Bonnie shook her head, tsk-tsking all the while. “Stallions… We were asking if you were waiting for somepony.”

“Oh, yeah. I’m waiting for Starlight,” Anon said, his attention now garnered. He leaned towards Bonnie a tad, showing that he was actually paying attention. “She was supposed to meet me here for a little get-together, but she’s running late.”

The ponies turned to look at the sky. The sun was starting to do something in the sky—was it going up or down?—whatever, it was late, he knew that much. He had just gotten off work and boy, washe happy to be off it. Mayor Mare had some reports that needed to be analyzed, so he did that, and then he had a couple permits to write up, only to show said permits to somepony who needed them, and then said somepony signed them with no problem so he could file them in a safe place. Easiest agreement ever signed. Oh, and all the while, Mayor Mare was teasing him again. Something about—

“How was your date with Starlight?”

He mentally facepalmed.

“It was not a date.”

He remembered how her muzzle had tilted up when he had said that to her.

“Oh? Then what was it? A foray in friendship?”

“Mayor Mare, never say that word again.”

“Friendship?”

Anon had threatened to walk out the door at that moment. Mayor Mare had not bought it for a second. What Anon learned so far living here and working for Mayor Mare is that mares sometimes behaved like guys did back on Earth, and that was fine… a bit. It threw him off, mostly because he wasn’t a fan of them sounding like dude bros randomly in the middle of flirting with him, but hey, it could be worse. It could be way worse.

It could be Twili—

“Anon?”

He blinked and looked to his left.

There she was. Horse named Starlight.

Neigh.

“Hey, Starlight.”

Starlight moved a bit more freely toward him, leaning up to his side and nuzzling into him. “Hey, Anon.” He watched as she hummed, making his arm feel a bit odd, before turning to address the two that—wait they were still there that entire time?—“Hello, Lyra. Bonnie.”

She was a bit more straight up with them, blunt.

“Hey… Starlight.” Lyra greeted. Her ears were splayed against her head, and she was moving a little bit back, like her hindlegs were trying to make sure whatever ground was behind her was actually ground.

Bonnie matched her a bit, a sheepish smile sticking solidly on her muzzle. “Hi Starlight.”

Her tail was between her legs.

Starlight smiled. “How did you two meet Anon?”

“M-Meet?”

Bonnie smiled. “Lyra saw him and wanted to see who he was since, well, she never had met him before—”

Starlight gasped. “Really? Lyra, you’ve never talked to Anon?”

Lyra nodded. “I was sick when they had his welcome party.”

“Oh, right,” Starlight replied, nearly facehoofing. “I forgot you were sick with a fever.”

“Y-Yeah…”

Awkward silence pervaded the area.

“Well, we won’t keep you any longer,” Bonnie jumped in, still keeping up her facade that Anon noticed was clearly not keeping up. Why were they so bothered?

Lyra smiled back. “Yeah, Anon’s been waiting for a while!”

His friendly compadre tilted her head at him. “How long were you waiting for me?”

Anon searched for some words.

Introduction, economic, expenditure… no, those words wouldn’t do.

Oh wait. He found some. “Not too long.” He had been waiting for fifteen minutes. “They were just keeping me company while I waited for you to swing on by.”

The two mares that were previously squeamish looked like they were happier than before. Did he just save their hides?

Starlight grinned. “I’m glad. Sorry, my track record hasn’t been the greatest as of late.”

“Pfft,” Anon said, waving his free hand in front of him, while Starlight nuzzled back into his side. She plopped down on her flanks as he spoke, “Your track record isn’t that bad. You’ve been on time…” He paused and counted the amount of times— “Once, so far.”

“Out of three,” Starlight mumbled, her expression falling short. “I’m going to fix this, Anon. Just gotta make sure ponies stop racing down the halls after school’s done for the day.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll wait and see,” he said with a cheeky grin of his own. “You’re going for that title, right?”

“Of course!” Starlight chirped while slightly puffing out her chest. A little tuft sprung out, and suddenly, Anon wondered why he hadn’t noticed it before when they were cuddling on his couch. “So, are you ready to head out?”

“Yeah,” Anon began, turning back to Bonnie and Lyra. “Where are we—”

Anon stopped himself dead in his tracks. “Uhh… Starlight?”

“Yeah?”

“Where did they go?”

Bonnie and Lyra had disappeared. It was like they walked away from the little scene and now it was just him and Starlight.

“They probably left after seeing us talk like this. You know how ponies are…”

“I really don’t actually. Did we put them off or something?”

Starlight sighed. “No… not you at least.” She got up and hopped off the stairs. She turned around and beckoned Anon with a hoof. “Come on, let’s go for a walk. I’ll tell you along the way.”

“Alright,” Anon replied. He walked down the remaining steps (there wasn’t much anyway) and dusted himself off. Then, he walked by her, just like last night, close together, nearly rubbing up against each other.

And he wondered if this is what it felt like to be close to someone.

“So…”

Starlight bumped into him a bit. “You want to know how a mare talks, huh?”

“A mare… talks?”

She nodded. “That whole little interaction you saw. You’ve never seen ponies behave like that, right?”

“I think I may have seen it once before, but I never really put too much thought into it.”

“Really, you’ve seen something like that before?”

“Yep.”

“Who were you with?” Starlight asked with a raised brow.

“With Twilight. She wasn’t doing it to them at all. We actually watched it all unfold right in front of us. There were two groups of ponies: one with a stallion and three mares, the other with just two mares. One group was pestering the other about talking to the stallion in their group and—” Anon snorted. “Wow, I just realized that what you just did is really close to what they did.”

Starlight sighed. “Yeah. Sorry.”

“Sorry, for what?”

“I probably shouldn’t have pushed them away like that.”

“You pushed Bonnie and Lyra away?”

Another bob of her head. She looked away, watching for other ponies (at least, that’s what Anon thought she was doing). “Not maliciously. I was just… sending them a message.”

“What are you, the Joker?”

“Hmm?”

Anon laughed as he saw Starlight’s scrunched up muzzle.

“Are you mocking me, Anon?”

“N-No! You just reminded me of something really, really dumb.”

“So I’m dumb now?”

He laughed harder, which earned him a little bump from Starlight.

“You’re not dumb, Starlight. Honest.”

She rolled her eyes. “Sure… Is every human like you?”

“I’d hope not.”

He had said it so matter-of-factly, that it made Starlight tilt her head.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Imagine having everyone like me? I don’t think our race would’ve lasted as long as it has.”

“How long has your species lasted?”

“Somewhere in the ballpark of three hundred thousand years ago, and we’ve revolutionized our way of living in the past hundred.”

Starlight’s eyes widened. “Wait, really?”

“Yep!” he began as he sidestepped around a couple who was not paying attention to their surroundings. Starlight met right back to where she was, although she rubbed her flank toward his leg, and that made Anon confused. “Did you mean to do that?”

Starlight… blushed? “Yeah.”

He blinked. Suddenly, history didn’t seem that important.

“So…”

“So you were saying?”

And now history was important again, as they walked closer and closer to what appeared to be a park entrance. “So yeah! There’s some history that humans not of our exact race appeared six million years ago, but my specific species was only spawned three hundred thousand years ago.”

“How do you know that?”

“Me? Extensive education. My species? Digging up fossils in some cool sandpit named Africa,” Anon said, waving his hand. “Not that the whole place is filled with sand, but that’s where we originated from. Apparently one of the guys dug up this human who was breaking a leg.”

She gasped. “You’re kidding.”

He chuckled. “Maybe on that last part.”

She let out a brief blow. “You and your antics.” She turned away from Anon and gasped. “Well, it looks like we wandered into the park, didn’t we?”

“Yeah,” Anon said. “Much better than having dinner again.”

“You weren’t a fan of Lime Ayds’ cafe?”

“She’s not going to last long with those prices.”

Another blow, accompanied by a whinny. “We really need to get you better pay.”

“Tell Mayor Mare that then,” Anon retorted, which earned him a giggle-snort from Starlight. “But seriously, those prices are ridiculous. Especially for what we were given. Like, who takes a picture of a burger that’s a fifteenth of the size of the plate?”

“Some ponies do,” Starlight blandly stated. He tilted his head, which spurred her to continue, “And that’s fine. But that whole experience made me realize that you definitely are not one of those ponies.”

“Do you enjoy those types of places, Starlight?”

“No, not really. I just thought it would be good to see what you liked. I… I wanted to get to know you better.”

I wanted to get to know you better.

Those words echoed in his ears, while his heart pumped a bit loudly. “R-Really?”

“Mmhmm,” she said, her ears flopping as she trotted. “It’s good to know what your friend likes, right?”

Suddenly, his heart stopped its race, so soon after it started. “Good to know that you’re thinking that way.”

“Somepony has to.”

He nudged her on her side with a closed fist. “Goof.”

She giggled behind her hoof like the giggle monster. She stopped and nudged him with her body.

“Hmm?”

“Wanna go sit down for a bit?”

It hadn’t even registered to Anon, but in front of them, just a few steps away, was a bench. It was long, probably for more than two ponies to lay down comfortably together, and it was red. A deep red. Like a fire hydrant red. It looked like it was bolted to the ground somehow, stuck on the path with nowhere to go. A good design choice; ponies didn’t need to experience a bench suddenly flipping them into the air or sliding around everywhere. It would be a funny image just to watch one flying without wings or a parachute.

“Sure,” Anon replied.

And the two walked over, or so Anon thought. It looked like Starlight teleported herself over and situated herself on it by sitting on her flanks. There was plenty of space as a result, leaving Anon to scoot a bit closer to her.

The effect was immediate as he sat down…

She flopped into his lap and looked up at him.

His eyes widened.

“Star—”

“Bit too much?”

He was about to say something, but then he stopped himself. He looked into her eyes. How vibrant they were, and how cute they looked—

Anon mentally facepalmed. He was proving Mayor Mare right all along right now, and he felt some heat rise to the occasion on his cheeks. He was really hoping he wasn’t blushing, he wasn’t needing Starlight to pry any further.

But he looked back. No change on her face. She’s just a softly smiling, content mare laying on her back, her head placed in his lap. Her mane tickled his pants as she shifted a little, and her warmth she brought made him feel something he hadn’t felt before. Something new. Something…

“No. Everything’s fine.”

That made her smile grow. And he wondered if he could keep it that way.

“Good. I’ll stay right here then.”

Anon really started to evaluate what being a friend really meant at that moment.

Anon really took the time to understand Starlight. They have been in the park for who knows how long at this point, drifting from conversation to conversation. He lost track of what they talked about, mostly because of where she was. She was still there, her head in his lap. And he too was indulging in this by petting her mane. She had cooed at first, before telling him that he was a bit forward with how he was petting her (he had his hand graze further down her neck, which made her squeak), so he stopped and kept his hand firmly toward the top of her mane. Going any further down apparently triggered something he wasn’t ready for yet, and he definitely wasn’t wanting to find out.

His face had been on fire for what time had passed. This was definitely not what friends did. This was more like what a lover would do with their partner. And he was feeling it, feeling it in a way that he never had with Twilight, and it was weird. Weird, but welcome?

He couldn’t fit the pieces into this puzzle he called his life now. All he knew was that this accelerated past friendship and was veering into that territory. The territory that he had thought he was in before with Twilight. Before all the mixed signals. Before the rejection.

Anon hated mixed signals. He hated them a lot.

He hated them so much that he wasn’t going to push the envelope. He may just be reading into this a bit too much. Besides, it wasn’t the right time. He could ask her in a more private setting where they wouldn’t get interrupted and weren’t so out in the open. That would be fine, right?

Right?

…

“Say, Anon?”

“Hmm?”

She smiled. “Thanks for meeting with me today.”

He tilted his head. “You’re welcome?”

“Pfft, you sound not so sure about that.”

A shrug, followed by words. “Can’t help it. You’re being silly.”

“No I’m not,” she said.

“Yeah, you are.” He poked her muzzle with a finger. “You’re the silly one.”

Her eyes crossed, which made Anon tilt his head further. Did he do that?

“Who delivered the cookies to the third floor of the hotel?”

Strobe light Anon was in full effect. “What did you just say?”

She got up and broke the little petting session up to rapidly shake her head. She turned back to Anon, her right ear twitching. “What did you just do?”

“I poked your muzzle with one of my fingers.”

“Oh.” She suddenly turned really red. Was she angry or…? “Um…”

She twiddled with her forehooves while she bit her lip. Okay. Not angry. Just embarrassed. Great, he pushed it a bit further, didn’t he?

“Did I make you feel uncomfortable there?”

“N-No. I… I think you should save that for something else.”

“Something… else?”

She waved her forehooves in front of him. “Forget it! Forget I said that.”

“Hmm… should I?”

She growled. “You should.”

“Okay, okay!” he said, throwing his hands up into the air. “Don’t kill the innocent human. You only got one of those.”

“Magic can make cloning really easy,” Starlight said with a smirk.

“Awesome. Clone me so that way I can go home and hibernate.”

“And… now I can’t clone you.”

Anon snapped his fingers. “Missed opportunity.”

“It’s totally your fault.”

“Yep, totally.”

“Mmhmm.”

The two shared a glance.

“You good?”

“Yeah, yeah.” He checked his spleen. It was still there. “Are you?”

She nodded rather enthusiastically, but then, with a rather loud harrumph, kept herself silent, her face blank. “You want to head back?”

Anon sucked in a deep breath. She tossed the option into his lap, and quite frankly, he was okay with staying there a bit longer. After all, petting her and everything wasn’t terrible, it was just… strange. Like it was taboo for him to do even though if it was back on Earth, what he did was not even a bad thing. Well, other than those thoughts he had of her cute eyes.

Cute eyes.

Cu—

He was going to deck himself in the mouth soon.

“I’m okay with staying here a bit longer. Did you… want to talk about anything?”

“Other than your work being, well, the way it is—”

“—thanks—”

“No problem!” she cheerfully finished. He laughed. “But really, besides work, what else is there to talk about? I mean… I know we talked about your world in the past, but…”

He tapped his chin. “What do you know?”

“Your world… it’s strangely similar to ours.”

“You could say that again,” Anon murmured.

“Okay, your world is strangely similar to ours.”

“That was rhetorical—on second thought, nevermind.”

She giggle-snorted herself into falling onto his lap again. She didn’t totally eviscerate his groin or anything. Not at all! And he certainly wasn’t wincing when she did that. Had to hide the pain to not kill the moment. “Thanks, Anon.”

“You’re… eugh, welcome.”

She looked up at him with a confused look. “Something the matter?”

“No, nothing. You just keep your… your pretty head there.”

He blinked.

She blinked.

“Did you—”

“Sorry. That just slipped out.”

She smiled. “Don’t apologize. It’s okay.”

“Really?”

“Mmhmm.” She nuzzled his pant leg to emphasize how okay it was, and he was wondering if he was going to die right there. “That’s got to be a skill.”

“What is?”

“Being able to just say something like that without thinking twice.”

“It’s not a skill, trust me. My head’s empty up there.”

“Is that a roundabout way of saying you’re dumb?”

“Yes.”

She groaned. “You’re not dumb, Anon!”

“Glad someone thinks so!”

He chuckled. She laughed.

And the world of friendship swallowed them whole, neither of them noticing the ponies passing them by while the two basked in their laughter.

Author's Note

This chapter was not part of the plan I had, by the way. Felt weird not having another chapter to bridge the gap that was between this and the last chapter.

So, here it is. 4k written and edited in three hours.

You're welcome. Hope you enjoy it!

Song for this chapter:

Edits completed on January 3rd, 2025.

Is It Us?

Author's Note

Note, the next chapters are going to be completely unplanned chapters. This fic was supposed to end with a chapter that isn't published, but no, you people are awesome and I can't thank you enough for the support and feedback. So, as a result, I've extended the story. So bear with me if it's a bit slower on the updates.

Also, thanks to you all, the next chapter is what I call a 'break' chapter. They're usually short, and usually experimental. As a heads-up, be prepared for the text to be different for that chapter only.

Hope you all are in for a rollercoaster.

Since this is author's note is on top, I hope you enjoy the chapter, and don't hesitate to put your thoughts in the comments! I read them all.

Lastly, song for this chapter:

Edits completed on January 3rd, 2025.

Is It Us?

A Week Later - Starlight Glimmer's Office

"And... done!"

With her magic, she stamped the umpteenth document in front of her with her trademarked seal of approval (it was Trixie's idea to get her a stamp). She set the paper aside, letting the ink sear its way onto the page. The ink had her likeness surrounded by the words "Headmare Starlight Approved!", and that stamp now stayed permanent on the signature line. It made Starlight feel a sense of accomplishment wash over her, her grin apparent as she leaned back in her chair. It felt so much more impactful when that document was added to the stack beside her. The tall flapjack stack of papers stared menacingly on her desk.

The only thing that was missing was Anon commenting on her state of affairs.

She giggle-snorted. She imagined him saying something goofy like:

"Wow, this looks like a mess!"

She looked around. Her room was due for a cleaning. Somepony had left her a cup of coffee, deciding to keep it on top of one of her filing cabinets instead of hoofing it over to her like a normal pony. What were they thinking? She’s not a nasty pony. She wouldn’t have blown up on them! Oh, and there was this thingy-ma-jig set down just beside it. That wasn’t there before.

"Do you normally live in a cave?"

Somedays. Did you normally live in a cave, Anon?

"How's the life of a hoarder going?"

The papers beside her grinned.

She frowned. She hadn't talked to Anon in a couple days, mostly because her work had finally taken over. She also had been cutting into her own break time just to make room for him initially, which, while her faculty understood the situation, she was definitely inconveniencing them for when she was late to her office. She hadn't mentioned this to Anon, mostly because, well, she was and still is worried about him. But when she will, he'll probably be fine with it. Probably. Or he'll be confused, and ask her why she decided to take so much time out of her day to be with him, and then she'll obviously reply with, "Because you're my friend."

And that would resolve that.

...

Maybe.

...

Oh who was she kidding? While things were looking up for Anon now, Starlight was still bothered—no, upset with how things were.

For starters, ever since she heard from Anon that Twilight had rejected him so harshly, Starlight had this thought persistently swirling in her mind. Why had Twilight actually rejected him? Could Starlight trust Anon to tell her the full truth and not suddenly defame one of her best friends? Could she believe what was presumably said?

She could, but not without hearing Twilight's side of the story. Which is why she was here, again, in this state of mind. Why would Twilight reject such a kind, caring man? Any mare would want someone like that in their lives.

Was it for another reason?

She has gone through this circular loop-de-loop for days now. Whenever she wasn’t thinking about work, or her friends, or what she was going to do with Anon tomorrow, it would appear. And she would hate it, hate it so much that she would be so distracted by it, distracted enough to draw up a few hypotheses of her own. They were sworn into existence by the simple fact that, well, it was Twilight who was involved here, and it all ended up in the same spot.

But hey, she had to humor herself. She had nothing else to do now, and she wasn’t expected to be in a meeting room with Gallus for the next… hour.

The clock above her door ticked in response.

Based on what Anon had told her, Twilight was discrediting him because he was not a stallion. While biology is important, and if you’re wanting a foal, go the best possible route, there are other options to fertility than just fooling around with a stallion… right?

Starlight gently tapped a hoof against her chin. “Maybe there’s something else to it…”

Twilight was stressed.

Starlight herself used that reasoning to try and waive all this off. Yet, here she was, thinking about it again. Life wasn't exactly butterflies and daisies for Twilight as a princess. She was busy. Very busy. Even if she wanted to go on an adventure with her friends, there was really not much of an option unless the map told her it was her destiny. And that... had not been an excuse. Apparently, Twilight's been locked up in Canterlot to focus on the issues of the country, whatever that means.

Another possibility grew favor.

Twilight didn’t actually like Anon at all.

This one... this reason made Starlight’s blood boil. How could a pony like Twilight lead on someone like this? Why would that even be an option?

Starlight let out a brief blow and plopped her muzzle right on her desk. She stayed there, even whinnying for a moment, before she settled on slouching in her seat, reclining back like she just did not care anymore.

This was not okay. Not even remotely. But what else was there?

Starlight groaned and, without thinking, threw one of her many pens on her desk at a wall—

It hit the wall. The pen clattered to the ground.

"Oops," Starlight said out loud, only to squeak as she bent over to get it. She then plopped the writing utensil on her desk with an emphatic downward thrust of her neck, making it bounce a little as it rolled to a stop, right next to a paper she had sitting there.

Sighing, Starlight got up out of her chair. She walked towards the front door, turned around, and saw that her room really needed to be cleaned and subsequently walked out of her office.

She needed to go speak to Spike about this. She was going to get more and more distracted if she sat in that room alone for a minute longer. So, with a flick of her hoof, she turned the light off, and locked her door with a set of keys she had on her. Then, she left the school, searching for a dragon that decided to stay behind and let Twilight stew in her goodness, for once in his life.

Starlight walked into the castle—well, not exactly walked in. If only it were that easy.

She had to talk to Twilight’s guards.

Yes. Guards. Twilight had them sitting at the entrance of the castle, doing what would be considered a do nothing job. Not that it’s a bad thing. Starlight hoped they were ample prepared for dealing with creatures with awful intentions. After all, when she had walked toward the entrance, there were only two guards there, sitting at a table, playing Go Fish. The one on the left was losing, while the one on the right was just about to win, holding her card in her hoof while happily neighing. The losing one let out a brief blow, groaning with her hooves on her helmet.

Safe to say, neither of them won when Starlight had walked in.

Now that Starlight was in the castle, she only needed to find her friend, Spike, who was going to help her stay sane. Not that she was going insane. Oh Celestia, no. That’s not the case at all! She was just stressed, and knowing Spike, he was more than capable of helping her out.

Leaving the grand foyer, Starlight walked forward into a rather large hallway. It was long, with doors peppering it on both sides. She walked past them all, before taking a right and walking up the stairs. If Spike was where she thought he was, she wouldn’t need to search any of the rooms on the ground floor. Whenever Twilight was gone, the poor dragon was stuck reorganizing her rather extensive bookshelves. Most of them were in the library on the ground floor, but… there were a few that were on the second floor, most of which were in Twilight’s personal study that only Spike was allowed to touch. And, well, if Twilight was here this week, she would have asked him to organize it whenever she was away.

So, Starlight climbed the stairs to the second floor, exited the staircase, turned right and walked into the next hall. Then, with a few more hoofsteps against the crystalline floor, she turned left and—

“Agh!?”

—ran straight into Spike.

Starlight was currently seeing stars. She was also seeing multiple Spikes. One looked like he gained a few inches in height. One had two more pairs of wings. One had a crooked mouth—that’s not how his face should look! And one just looked… normal.

She shook her head. The normal one stared back.

He gasped. “Starlight?!”

“Hey, Spike. Sorry for colliding into you.”

The dragon rubbed his head with a claw, before pushing himself off the ground. “I thought I ran into one of the guards again. Glad I didn’t, I don’t need another migraine.” He cooed as he cracked his neck. “Phew, glad to see only one of you.”

“You saw multiples of me?”

He laughed. “Yeah. Concussions are hilarious.”

She rolled her eyes. “Your idea of funny, and my idea of funny are two very different funnies.”

“Happy to show you a different way of viewing life,” he said with a smirk, before laughing again. She chuckled too, even if it did hurt a little bit. She’ll have to get her head checked later. Advice receiving was on the menu now, not later.

“Say, Spike, do you have a moment?”

“Hmm,” Spike hummed, now moving his claw to his chin. He rubbed it gently, pursing his lips. “Well, I had a whole lotta nothing scheduled after this, but I can make an exception and pencil you in now, if you’d like.”

“Perfect!” Starlight chirped, snorting. “Mind turning tail and going right back into Twilight’s study?”

“Ooooo, got some gossip to talk about?”

She sheepishly smiled. “You could say that…”

Spike snapped his claws. “Alright, I’ll promise not to say a word as per usual.” He then turned and walked right back into the room.

“Good, because if you did, I’d make you suffer with the guards downstairs.” She walked into the room and smiled.

Twilight’s study was a bit… different. There were books in there, of course. The shelves were stacked high to the ceiling, with books color-coded and alphabetically sorted. But then there was this open area, one that was definitely not what most ponies would even think about, unless they were an internal designer or something. It reminded Starlight of a cozy little study like the ones in the Crystal Empire, where a fireplace would be there, and some bean bag chairs would be set in the room.

The only thing missing in this one was the fireplace. And the bean bag chairs. Twilight decided to go a route where the bean bag chairs would be combined into a bean bag couch. A thick one, one that, if Twilight had company over, would recommend they’d all flop onto it and talk about books to their hearts’ content. It made Starlight jealous, because the light above the couch was set just right for late night reading.

She sighed as Spike flopped onto said couch. Looks like this is where she’ll have her talk with him.

“Spike did you shut the do—”

“Yep,” Spike finished. He patted the open spot beside him and smiled. “Have a seat.”

Starlight side-eyed the table and the open seats to her left. “What about—”

“Bean bag couch or bust, Starlight. There’s no other way.”

“Really?”

His brows furrowed. “Knowing what I think you’re going to talk to me about, I’m going to need this bean bag couch and some gems. But since I can’t get my gem stash because Twilight found them three days ago and confiscated them with a fiery vengeance, I’m now stuck with only the bean bag couch. So, I’m living in comfort this time, what with all this Anon talk.”

Anon. Of course he would know.

See, Spike had been her steady friend in this whole ordeal. Yes, that should be shocking to most, his dating experience is not... that much, but Starlight knew Spike had the wit. Plus, he knew about everything going on, and swore to not tell a soul about what they talked about. And... well, Spike has been just as baffled as Starlight through all this. It even had him scratching his head...

“Does this guy have more mare problems than me?”

That question had killed Starlight when Spike asked it, but now, it was more true than ever.

“Am I that easy to read now?”

“Very,” Spike immediately replied. He watched her slowly trudge up to the bean bag couch, before laying down on it. She sighed and laid her head on her forehooves, before looking up at Spike. He let out a strained ‘O’ sound. “Must be worse than I thought.”

She rolled her eyes. “Distracted.”

“By him?”

A nod. “And by Twilight.”

“Hmm… kind of shocked we haven’t talked about her. Has she talked to you ever since Anon’s confession?”

“No.”

He froze, his mouth agape. “Wait, really?”

She lifted her head up, tilting it slightly to the right. “Yeah, she’s been busy in Canterlot right?”

He snorted. “If you call ‘busy’ as coming back every night to talk to me about how royally she screwed up with Anon, then yeah, sure.”

“Why did you…”

“Not tell you?” Starlight nodded. “Because Twilight said not to. I am only telling you this now because you brought her up. Granted, I could’ve brought her up, since we’re both trying to make sense of this whole ordeal, but…” He brought a claw behind his head, scratching while a sheepish grin wore proudly on his face. “Heh, better late than never. I bet you’ve been thinking about Twilight’s decision-making these past couple days, huh?”

“Spike?”

“Hmm?”

“Why aren’t you a mind reader?”

He laughed for a brief moment, before leaning back in the bean bag plush. “I’ve lived with Twilight for so long that now I’ve started to get too comfortable with her and all of her friends.”

She rolled her eyes. “Sounds like you need to go outside more.”

“You think I haven’t tried?”

She giggled behind a hoof, much to his dismay. “After all this is over, the girls and I have to play matchmaker for you.”

Spike puffed up, his cheeks now holding air. “Now that would be adding insult to injury.”

“Even you are infected by Anon-isms.”

“Bless you.”

They stared at each other before laughing hard. They rolled around together, pushing at each other forelegs and arms alike. By the end of it, the two were tangled, having been panting from the fun of it all.

Starlight was the first to act. “Wow, I really needed that.”

“Pink—Pinkie says that… that laughter is the best m-medicine!”

“She’s… phew, right about that!”

The two calmed down further, Starlight slowing her breathing and closing her eyes.

She sighed.

“So…”

“How was your date with Anon then?”

She promptly opened her eyes and shoved a muzzle on his mouth. “Shhh, you don’t have to be loud about that!”

Spike’s eyes became lidded, and he moved her forehoof from his mouth. “I bet you no one is even in the halls. And the guards are too busy downstairs playing Go Fish to even eavesdrop!”

Glider had his work cut out for him. He was down by two books, and he needed to pull off a comeback of the century to retain his place in this game of Go Fish.

He was staring at his hand. He’s needing one more card to complete a book, the red two of diamonds needed to pop into his view, but he’s building another one with his pair of eights. He furrowed his brow. He knew his fellow guard, Flow, was playing this tight. So Glider needed to be careful, maybe mislead him somehow?

Mislead… hmm…

“I can’t believe Starlight Glimmer thought we were mares.”

Flow snorted. “She was too busy staring at our cards to care.”

“Right? She looked like she had a lot on her mind.”

He looked at Flow, and saw that the stallion didn’t even flinch. This made Glider pause, before he glared at his own cards. After scanning them, he peered over his hand. “Say, you got any eights?”

Flow smirked.

“Go Fish.”

Glider whimpered as he drew his next card.

“You’re probably right,” Starlight admitted, her ears pinned against her head. “But still! It’s…”

“Embarrassing?” Spike said with a raised brow. He smiled when Starlight hung her head. “Hey, it’s only embarrassing if you’re feeling ashamed of it all.”

Ashamed? Not at all. In fact, she was…

Starlight’s eyes widened. “You’re right. I’m not embarrassed…”

“Exactly.” Spike nodded and snapped a claw in her direction. “You’re just—”

“Spike, I… I might like him.”

Spike deadpanned.

Starlight tilted her head.

She waited for a moment to see if he’d stop looking at her like that.

He didn’t. He stayed deadpanning, slowly bringing his claw up to his face.

“What?” Starlight repeated.

He promptly facepalmed.

“It took you this long to say that?”

Starlight threw her forehooves into the air. “Can you really blame me? I’ve been struggling to help him get back on his feet and with how Mayor Mare described everything to me. It was like she lost a dear friend!”

“Yeah, and then you cuddled with him to ‘talk to him’ about his situation with Twilight.”

She felt a distinct heat pierce her cheeks. “Yeah, well—”

“And, from what else you told me, he reciprocated after a bit, thinking it was a pony thing because of what you told him.”

“But it is!” she shot right back.

Spike deadpanned again.

Starlight gulped. “Okay, so it sorta is a pony thing.”

“Sorta?”

She frowned. “Well I can’t walk that moment back, Spike.”

“Yep, and neither can Twilight with her whole ‘species’ speech. Or her ‘criticism’ of Anon, can she?”

Starlight watched as Spike sank further into the bean bag couch. She placed her head back on her forehooves, choosing to snuggle her flanks into it. She softly exhaled whatever stress she had left, and watched Spike as he shifted, cracking his neck in the process.

“Ahh,” he moaned out. “Sorry, there was this pressure in my neck. Slept awfully last night.”

“Twilight?”

He nodded. “Couldn't sleep with her bawling her eyes out.”

She was… crying? “Really?”

“Yep. She’s probably realizing very slowly that she lost a friend, maybe two.” He snorted. “If she actually talked to you, she’d know she only lost one…”

A tilt of the head again, this time to the left. That’s all Starlight could do. “Does she think she also lost me?”

A curt nod confirmed her suspicions.

“Well, hopefully she’ll talk to me about all this.”

Spike tilted his head up and puffed out some smoke. “Sorry, I had to get that out of my system. You mares aren’t as direct as us guys.”

“Not true at all, Spike! We are totally direct!”

“Right…”

Spike shut his eyes, and put his claws behind his head. “Say, Starlight?”

She scooted closer to him. “Yeah?”

“When do you think you’re going to confess?”

She searched his face, trying to see if he was just messing with her, but no curved lips, no crease in the brow, no anything was there to give her an inkling of what he was thinking. A clever dragon, through and through. She wouldn’t have him any other way though.

“I don’t know.”

He grinned. “Well, I know it has to be soon. Otherwise, you’ll be a victim to another mare picking him up.”

Starlight’s ears perked up. “You… really think so?”

He hopped off the couch and stretched. “Knowing how popular he is with some of the mares in town? Yes.”

“How do you know?”

Spike let out a mix between a laugh and a deep breath. “Starlight, he’s so popular, I thought Celestia and Luna were in town. Instead, it was just a line of mares standing outside his house like they were in some fanclub."

A sudden squeak and a loud neigh came out of Starlight.

Spike held his gut as he laughed. “You never heard about this?”

“N-No!” she exclaimed, her muzzle agape.

“Man, you really need to get better at being friends with him,” he said while shaking his head.

She picked up her muzzle and growled in frustration. “It’s not like I haven’t been trying. He’s… complicated.”

“Complicated?”

“Hurt. Struggling to fit in. Being told he’s not worth it because he’s not a stallion—”

Spike sputtered out a cough. “Wait, run that last part by me again?”

She blinked. “Didn’t Twilight tell you that?”

“No? Are you sure she said that?”

She leaned up to Spike and shrugged. “That’s what Anon told me.”

“Hmm…” Spike pursed his chin. “Do you think he could’ve been stretching the truth? I mean, I don’t think Twilight would’ve said it that way, based on what she told me.”

“Well, what did she tell you?”

Spike snorted. “At first, it was the usual: how being a princess is soooo rewarding and stressful. She'd go on rants and raving about her job duties and all the meetings she had to attend. To be honest, she wanted to just curl up and sleep the night away, but then she started whimpering and stuttering as she tried to tell me about her lunch she had. I asked her what she was so upset about, and that’s when she told me about Anon.”

Starlight took a deep breath. Would Anon lie to her about this? Maybe, she didn’t know him all too well. But, with how Spike put it, he stretched the truth, so where did the stretch become a lie? She needed to know.

“And what did Twilight say?”

“That he had confessed to her and that she rejected him because of her preferences, and then went too far when Anon asked her to be truthful.”

“Be… truthful?”

Spike licked his lips. “Something about saying he was abrasive to her?”

Anon’s story lined up. His story lined up almost to a T. It was a mir—

“And then he told her that she was being unfair about a lot of stuff, and that she was treating him like an experiment again.”

That… part also sounded familiar, but not right where she thought it was.

“Was that it?”

Spike nodded. Oh Celestia… “Not much else. She rushed out to go meet some pile of feathers from the Griffon Kingdom. Ever since then, she’s been just submerging herself in work and coming home to wake up before you do. That's probably why you don't see her at all and—”

“Spike, you need to tell Twilight to talk to me.”

“Fat chance,” he muttered.

“Hmm?”

He hopped up off the couch to stretch his legs. “She’s not going to believe me if I told her. You’ll have to swing on over tonight.”

“Why?”

“Because if I ask her, she’ll become suspicious, thinking either I’m lying to her or that I told you all about her.”

Starlight blinked. He’s right. He couldn’t tell Twilight. She would know something was up. And Spike covering his tracks so Twilight didn’t suspect him of giving her too much information is very smart of him. Still, why was Twilight so under the wraps about this whole thing? Was she just embarrassed? Upset, of course, but…

“And she’s worried about that, because…?”

“Twilight thinks that you hate her, remember?”

Oh... right. “For what?”

He rolled his eyes. “Twilight knows that you volunteered to help Anon out.” She glared at him, but he threw his claws up. “Hey, I didn’t tell her anything! She saw you walking out of his house. It’s not hard for her to put two-and-two together, and then stress out about it.”

That sounded like Twilight, but wait, how did she not see Twilight? Was she blind?

Starlight shook her head. She’ll get an eye exam once this all blows over. For now, she had all the answers she needed, for the most part.

She looked back over at Spike, who was now standing by the door. He was looking up at the clock just above it and—

“Hey, don’t you have school to go teach or something?”

She stared up at it now.

She had ten minutes to get her silly self back to her silly unkempt office.

Starlight hopped off that couch too. “Uh, yeah, I do. How did you know?”

“You’ve done this a couple times this week, remember?”

Oh yeah. She did. Around the same time, actually. And he…

She shook her head and smiled. “Thanks, Spike, for your help.”

He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her neck, pulling her close to his chest. “Anything for a friend.”

She nuzzled his cheek before pulling away. She began to walk away when she turned around. “Hey, Spike?”

The dragon was dusting himself off when he looked back up at her. “Yeah?”

“We are getting you a mare this year.”

Spike saluted. “Yes, ma’am!”

Starlight giggled. “At ease, soldier.”

The two shared in a laugh. Friends were the best, weren’t they?

After Work - Starlight Glimmer - Entrance to the School of Friendship

Starlight was tired. Work had been grueling when she came back. The meeting with Gallus? A toss-up between a detention for a month, or cleaning up the bathrooms for a week. She wasn’t sure why he had been acting out lately; the meeting hadn’t really helped her gain any clues worth mentioning. And then there was Silverstream, who basically added nothing but her smiley, confident self into the mix. She knew Gallus liked her, that much was obvious. Did she like him like that though...? That was another question.

Romance. Drama. It was in the air.

Starlight bit her lip nervously as she walked out of the school for the day. She was not looking forward to going back home to her own little abode in the castle. She didn’t even know Twilight was back there every night—how did she not hear her?

And there Starlight was, thinking about Twilight again.

Starlight groaned. Somepony needed to strike her down with a—

“Hey, Starlight!”

Her eyes widened. She slowly turned around to see…

Anon. His questioning face was always beaming. Something about that made her wonder if the world was going upside down.

“Anon! I… I’m glad to see you out and about today.”

He smirked and picked her up into his arms. “Had to come see you after getting out early.”

“Getting out early?”

“Mayor Mare shut down the office this afternoon for maintenance. So, she gave me the rest of the day off with paid leave.”

“Wow,” Starlight said, before she let out a whistle. “Look at you, huh? Good day then?”

“Yeah,” he said, scratching the back of his neck. “Relaxed in the park for a bit before heading over here.”

“To see me?”

“Of course! Why wouldn’t I?”

She frowned. “Well, we hadn’t scheduled another time to hang out and—eep!”

He hugged her close to his chest. “Really? You need to schedule time to hang out with me?”

She blinked rather rapidly. He was really affectionate today. “I thought I needed to.”

“I... ran into Pinkie on my way there and we talked about… stuff.”

His tone of voice switching up like that made her cup his cheek with a hoof. “Stuff?”

He smiled, holding a free hand to her hoof. “She told me I was looking pretty down, probably because I wasn’t working and had no idea what to do. So, she told me to go to the park and relax a little, and then, POOF!”

She raised a brow. “Poof?”

“No, POOF!” He laughed. “Like, appearing in some place without thinking about it. Only, I can’t turn that side off y’know? I’m not like her. I had to think about someone.”

Starlight’s eyes widened. “So you thought of me?”

“Yeah, first thing.” He smiled, and then stopped and tilted his head. “Is that okay? Did you have some other plans after work?”

She did, but— “No…”

He grinned. “Then let’s hang out. Anything you want to do?”

She thought about it for a moment. She could go anywhere with him. To the park again. Shopping. Getting dinner. They hadn’t even gone to the arcade yet, or that swimming hole that only few ponies know about! There were so many options.

But her tired self made itself known. She yawned and nuzzled his cheek. “How about you take me to your place, Anon.”

For a second, she didn’t think about the words she said. It was pretty straightforward. She wanted to go over to his place and just relax, not think about the world. And then she realized she was in public, right outside the School of Friendship, getting basically cuddled in Anon’s arms, and then—

She looked at his face. He was blushing red. He was kind of gobsmacked, his mouth slightly ajar, his lips parted. He was trying to look anywhere else but her, and his arm that was holding onto her was shaking.

Oops.

“I didn’t mean it like—”

“—I know, I know, and I’m sorry for holding you like—”

“—it’s no problem, it’s not like you are meaning anything by holding me like—”

“—yeah, it’s just a friendly gesture. That’s what you ponies do, right?”

The two stared at each other, spellbound. Starlight could feel her horn spark a little as they leaned a little bit closer to each other’s faces. It was like gravity was pulling them in and—

Her eyes widened. Her magic flared.

She was on the ground again, her hooves touching the dirt.

Anon looked down at her, confused. “Star—”

“I'm sorry! C-Can we... can we go back to your place and talk?”

She turned tail and walked toward Anon’s house, heat burning her cheeks like a wildfire. Starlight could feel her tail swishing behind her, and her ears were definitely on end, just like the hairs on her back.

Did she… really like him like that?

Into The Foray, Where The World Don't Feel So Dark

Another Round of Dying On The Inside - Anon’s Perspective - Walking Home From Disappointment (Again?!)

No.

This wasn’t happening.

Anon couldn’t stomach it. Another rejection. Another one, from someone who he thought he was getting closer with. An acquaintance turned friend turned… whatever they had at that moment. The moment where he was with her, her in his arms, and they had leaned in to each other and were about to…

…and then she teleported out of his arms. He looked down, and there she was, looking up at him. It looked like she had tears in her eyes, but that could’ve been him seeing things. He didn’t know—he didn’t want to know. It hurt him enough already knowing it was happening to him again.

Although, something was different about this rejection.

She said she wanted to talk about it. And she wanted to go back to his place. A similar tune, but not quite the same. There was interest there, and that interest drew Anon from disappointment to a frustrated anxious ball of green mush. His mind wracked and battled in a fierce match of tug-o-war. He was currently losing to his competitor: himself. Meanwhile, he could feel Starlight's presence still hovering nearby, floating beside him like a ghost, yet clinging to him like a memory being pushed further and further into the void he called his headspace, where he walked alone on his lonesome, lonesome road.

Bile bore through his throat. He gulped to keep it at bay.

Starlight was quiet, walking slightly ahead of him. He observed her quietly, hoping that whatever stress that lodged itself in him would hopefully see an exact opposite signal to show that she’ll stay, that she cares, and that this was just a bump in the road. And yet, he wasn’t sure what to make of what he was seeing. Not yet, at least.

For starters, each hoofstep she took dispelled the dirt around her, but he noticed how each movement reverberated, her legs shaking. Anon didn’t know if this was due to nerves or if she was developing Parkinson’s right before his very eyes. He bet on the former, but the latter definitely made him wonder if turning around and having her go to the clinic real fast just to check would be a good idea.

But then, he saw her tail. It swished so rapidly, like she was suddenly a dog who got excited over seeing a tennis ball in her owner’s hand and wanted them to throw it to see if it went the distance. While the idea of her being so happy about him made him, by proxy, extremely happy, he realized that, well, what made her possibly happy made Anon rethink his life choices. The collar of his shirt he wore constricted around his neck, and he swore he wasn’t this hot a moment ago. She wasn’t excited in that way… was she?

That last thought made Anon zone back into his surroundings. On the way to his place, there was this little fork in the path. Some houses were nearby, and that little fork had a viewing plaza where ponies would sit and just watch the day go by. Anon turned on the fork and saw two ponies standing on said plaza. They were both mares with brighter colored manes giggling to each other. One pointed at Starlight, which he could tell bothered her if her ears pinning against her head was anything to go off of.

Anon strode up to Starlight’s side and glared daggers at the two mares.

They stopped laughing instantly, choosing to turn around and pretend like they weren’t just laughing at his company.

He looked down at Starlight and saw her ears perk up. She was looking at him with her muzzle slightly ajar, and her eyes wide.

“Are you okay?”

She nodded and looked elsewhere.

Anon felt a distinct heat set ablaze. It wasn’t a fire, thankfully, but it burned his cheeks all the same, just like how it burned hers too, he could only imagine it looked as crisp of a red color curve as it did on her cheeks.

He kept pace the remainder of the walk. The two hadn’t said a word since then, but whenever he looked over, she’d look back at him too, and the cycle of glancing continued until—

Anon sighed. The door to his humble abode greeted him. Now he wished he could just force-push the door off its hinges so he could walk in with no further awkward glances, but he had to fish his keys from his unending pockets. Carefully, he dug into one with his left hand and subsequently found no purchase.

Shoot, it was in his right pocket, wasn’t it? The one closest to Starlight.

He gulped down his nerves. It was just fishing for the keys to his house. It shouldn’t be this intense, yet his right hand slowly meandered toward his right pant pocket, being mindful of the distance between them being so not far, his hairs mingling almost with hers. His hand slipped gently into the pocket…

…

…and his hand grazed the texture of a keyring. His keyring.

“!!”

He found them! Grunting, he pulled them out (damn rascals hitched on the inside of the pocket!) and... immediately dropped them on the ground.

“Oh, one sec,” Anon said, and bent down to pick them up.

As he grabbed them, he saw a friendly hoof snake its way to his hand. His eyes widened.

He looked up at her.

Her soft smile greeted him, her eyes full of affection. He could see her fur tuft on her chest, and the way her floppy ears perked up at seeing that her hoof had grazed his hand.

He coughed. “Uh… thanks, Starlight.”

She cleared her throat and scooted away for a moment. “Y-You’re welcome.”

She’s going to kill him with either her diabetes-inducing interactions, or her mixed signals. Clearing his throat of his emotions, Anon focused and unlocked his door, the key being practically shoved into the keyhole with a vengeance. He grunted, turning the door lock, and then swung the door open. At first, he was going to walk into his house, but then he paused, turned around, and looked down at Starlight.

“After you.”

She nodded, but stood there instead. She looked around briefly like she was spying for another pony who may be looking at them. Once she found no one in sight, she confidently walked in. Anon watched her as she moved, before walking over the threshold himself. He turned around and locked the door behind him, the swift click of it signaling to him that he was now alone with her.

In his house.

…

He flicked off his shoes and scurried to set them aside the door. Then, he walked into the living room. Starlight sat on her flanks beside the couch, her tail slightly swishing against the floor. He ignored that indicator momentarily, choosing to instead set a candlelight on a nearby nightstand aflame with a match. He waved it about before blowing it out. Once he knew it wasn’t going to re-ignite, he put it in the nearby trash can and settled its associated brethren inside a nearby drawer. He closed it shut and carefully shut the curtains nearby, tying them together with a rope that he had set aside.

Total privacy.

He turned to her. “Starlight, is this okay?”

She blinked confusedly at him. “The curtains?”

“Yep.”

“It’s… okay.”

He frowned. He was going to ask if he wanted them back open, but then he noticed the flicking of her ear, her gaze looking elsewhere again, and a slight blush on her face.

Those actions alone averted his question to one more focused on her.

“Have a seat on the couch, Starlight.”

“Hmm?” She tilted her head at him. “Are you sure?”

He smiled. “The rocker’s not a stranger to me, remember?”

She nodded, albeit slowly. Then, she turned and hopped onto it, laying down with her head on her folded forehooves. She laid her body against the pillows, and he sighed. At least she was getting somewhat comfortable.

Meanwhile, he sat on his rocking chair, leaning back. He shifted in it to get comfortable, but found the wooden surface to offer little comfort, especially for his nerves. He settled in as best as he could, choosing to not place his neck on his makeshift headrest (the goofy pillow slides around a bit), letting his head hover just over it.

He looked over at Starlight, who was glancing back over at him.

He cleared his throat. “So…”

“Mmhm…”

A brief blow exited Starlight, like she was forcing out whatever nerves she had too. Anon felt the tenseness of the room. If he had a knife, he could cut it, but that would be too cliche, and his pocket knife he had was sitting in the other room, and he was not getting his pathetic excuse of human skin up just to get a pocket knife.

So he picked his vocal chords up and started to use them, “Are we… good?”

She stayed silent for a moment, before letting out a growl, a low one, like a groan mixed with angst. He stayed still, waiting for her to speak up, to give her the time to say something. He was about to give in, to say something again, but he shut his mouth when she popped her head off her forehooves and leaned back.

“I… We are good.”

He tilted his head. “Then why are we…?”

She groaned, throwing her hooves against the back of the couch. “I don’t know. I don’t know…” She frowned. “I’m so anxious right now, but I want to be here with you, if that makes any sense.”

I want to be here with you—

His eyes widened. He wasn’t being rejected? Then what was this? He had to know.

“You want to be here with me?”

She breathed out a little bit of laughter, her voice cracking in the process. “Y-Yeah. I do.”

“Does that mean…”

She shrugged. “I don’t know, Anon. What we did out there… it was…” She squeaked. “I don’t know.”

Her puffed up cheeks contrasted the red that pierced through well. “Was it too much?”

She harrumphed, folding her forehooves close to her chest, disrupting the tuft of fluff. “Definitely.”

“I see…” He pursed his lips. “Was it carrying you or?”

“It was… partially it.” She licked her lips. “The rest was… elsewhere.”

Anon raised a brow. “Elsewhere?”

“Anywhere but here.”

Oh.

He knew what that meant. He felt that before, with Twilight, and—

“I get you. You were full of stuff up there, huh?”

“Stuff,” she began, before giggling a bit, although weakly. “That would be something you’d say.”

“Best way to explain it. It’s just stuff. Stuff that bothers you, distracts you, makes you wonder if things are okay or if they’re too much.”

She let out a whinny in response. “And then you look at somepony weirdly and they think you were staring at them and—”

“—then it gets tense, and you have to tell them that wasn’t what you meant, and you were thinking about why the pole behind them looked like a ladder—”

“—a ladder?”

In the midst of their little ramble, Anon stopped. He had leaned forward a bit, now more upright than before. His chair was positioned more to face her, and meanwhile, she was closer to the edge of her seat. And they were staunchly aware of the differences.

So much so that Starlight slinked back into the couch’s cushions.

“Yeah, a ladder…” Anon muttered. He leaned back too.

The chair creaked as it rocked him back and forth.

…

“Anon?”

“Hmm?”

Starlight twiddled with her forehooves. “You… want to know what I was thinking?”

“When you…”

“Yeah.”

She looked up at Anon with glossy eyes, her bottom lip beginning to tremble.

He nodded. “I do. Did it have to do anything with me?”

“P-Partially,” Starlight began, her voice tuning higher in volume as she spoke, “I’ve been distracted at work. About you, about Twilight, about everything.”

“What about me, for starters?”

Her eyes widened. “I… uh, can we save that for later?”

“Sure,” Anon said lamely. He didn’t want to skirt the line with her. At the very least, he wanted her to continue talking, to see what was bothering her so much. Maybe he could possibly fix it? It was that innate instinct that drove him.

He turned his attention back to her, her lips moving—focus, she was talking!

“...was sitting in my office, just thinking about what you’d say about how messy it looked.” She paused to look at him, only to shake her head. “Don’t worry, it wasn’t anything negative. I just thought about how you would criticize it, thinking I lived in a cave or something.”

“Do you live in a cave?”

That earned him a giggle. “N-No, Anon. I live in the castle.”

“With Twilight?”

“Mmhm,” she hummed accompanied with a bobbing of her head. “Somewhat near her room to be exact.”

Anon’s eyes widened. He, for some reason, never connected the dots that they lived together. Not that it was an important detail, but now he knew why she didn’t want him to walk her home. A crossing with someone that rejected him… yeah…

“So, you were thinking about me…”

“Yeah, and then I thought about Twilight.”

“An intersection made in heaven, huh?”

“Pfft, don’t make me laugh, Anon. This is serious!”

Her waving of her hooves and her slight smile made it look totally serious, but he was really wanting to know what was going on with her, so he kept his ripostes to a minimum. “Okay, okay. Sorry, I’ll stop interrupting.”

“It’s not the interrupting, it’s the…”

He knew what she was referencing. A smirk wormed onto his face. “I know. Just… continue.”

She smiled. “Thank you.” She cleared her throat. “So, I was thinking about her and how she rejected you. I was bothered by how she did it, even after it being so long after the whole thing happened.” She snorted. “I always found myself circling around this train of thought. First, I thought she was stressed. After all, who cites biology that quickly? There are other options to get pregnant, especially for interspecies couples.”

“Wait, really?”

Starlight nodded. “They are risky, though. One wrong move and you could have scrambled the foal into being part foal, part gizzard and claws.”

The eldritch abomination Anon pictured made him nearly puke on the spot, but he found himself gaining the willpower to not lose it. Instead, he dreamt of the Rolling Turd, and how… not so great of an image that was either. At least it didn’t want to make him vomit. If he had, he would’ve definitely excused himself from the room just to brush his teeth and the rest of his mouth.

“Egh, thanks for the gross mental picture.”

“You’re not welcome!” she chirped, which made him nearly choke on his own spit. She must’ve sensed this, as she tilted her head at him, and scooted a bit closer to the edge of the couch. “Are you okay, Anon?”

“I’m going to need—ack!—you to not do that again.”

Her ears splayed against her head. “Sorry, didn’t mean to make you sick to your stomach.”

“It wasn’t exactly that, but between your lovely description and me almost dying to my own saliva, you definitely set off something there.”

She took a deep breath. “Well, let’s change subjects then.”

“Good,” Anon replied, leaning back in his chair. “So, interspecies couples have an increased likelihood to spawn a malformed Cthulhu. How does this relate to Twilight’s outburst?”

Starlight giggle-snorted. “Well, I had to come up with another reason. It just so happened to spring into stress.”

“Stress?”

“I know, it doesn’t excuse her. I used it before as a reason to explain her behavior, remember?” He nodded toward her, which spurred her to continue, “But it’s true, Anon. Life for Twilight isn’t a bunch of sunshine and rainbows. I mean, Celestia still can control the sun when she’s not busy relaxing with her sister, and Twilight is friends with Rainbow Dash, but that’s besides the point! She’s busy. Really, really busy. It’s like the entirety of Equestria relies on her to just be in the vicinity of Canterlot in order to function.”

Anon rubbed his chin. “So she’s royalty stuck in place. Does that really explain everything?”

To his surprise, Starlight shook her head. “Nope. While it’s part of it, it doesn’t explain everything. No matter how much responsibility she has on her, she doesn’t normally act like that.”

He tilted his head. “Then what would—”

“It’s you, Anon.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you,” she stated as a matter-of-fact. “See, you’re the only one that has ever made her lash out in this way.”

He leaned forward, making his chair creak loudly. “So, I’m the problem?”

“No, not exactly.”

He frowned. Mixed signals again! “Then what is it, Starlight?”

“That… that she didn’t like you at all.”

Anon’s eyes widened. “Like, before my confession?”

“As a friend, yes.”

That… didn’t cross his mind at all. He couldn’t imagine all that time he spent with her in the castle was all an act. If that was the case, she was the best performer in all of Equestria, and Trixie better move her wagon, because she was getting evicted by a horse with an agenda stacked with more than a few problems.

“And what did you come up with?”

“Nothing concrete,” Starlight admitted. She licked her lips again. “It just didn’t sound like her. She’s honest with everyone, so I couldn’t even make a way for the stars to align with that reason. She’s not like that.”

Anon shrugged. “Maybe I’m the first one to discover her inner discriminatory actions.”

“Or she just decided to unload everything onto you because you decided to also unload onto her.” Her muzzle scrunched up as she finished her thought. “And that just made my blood boil. I’m not happy with that reasoning either.”

“So…?”

“So, I went to see Spike.”

“You two are best friends?”

She nodded. “Yeah, practically. He’s been a bright spot just like you and—” She paused and clamped her mouth shut. “Uhh, pretend you didn’t hear that.”

“Me, a bright spot?”

She hid behind her hooves. “Don’t say it!”

He laughed. “Alright, alright.” He saved that for later, in his back pocket. “So you went to see him. What happened?”

“Spike and I talked about a lot of things. Mostly about you again, and trust me, I’ll tell you about it after all this, but…” She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Anon started to count, but when he hit five, she immediately opened her eyes and exhaled softly. “He told me about what’s been happening. Apparently, Twilight hasn’t been stuck in Canterlot.”

“She hasn’t?”

“She’s… been going to the castle in Ponyville every night to sleep. She tried to sneak by everypony, but Spike’s not deaf. He’s heard her and she’s been crying every night since the incident with you and her happened.”

Anon couldn't help but feel his jaw disconnect from the rest of him. He picked it up slowly, trying to feel for the place that latched them together. He ended up smacking it back in place, which gave him a slight pain in his lower jaw. But who cared? Only he did, and he was needing to say something here.

“R-Really? Like, every night?”

“Every. Single. Night, Anon.”

“God…” he muttered. “So she’s been just as down about this as me?”

“Most likely,” Starlight said. “And I’m part of the reason too.”

“Why?” He tilted his head. “Why would you be—”

“Because she saw us, Anon. She saw me walk into your place that day.”

That day. The day that Starlight cuddled with him on the couch, the night when they stayed together until late and she walked back home, with him watching her leave. That one.

Anon felt the room rise in temperature. “I-I guess that could star-startle anyone.”

She nodded. “Yeah, I don’t blame her. She probably thought that she lost me as a friend too.”

“Hmm…”

“What do you think, Anon?”

He licked his lips this time. They felt dry, cracked, and he really needed some chapstick, but he had none. So, he sat on this question instead, choosing to meander from thought to thought. While this didn’t excuse her from anything, all it did was give some reasoning to the aftermath and why Starlight hadn’t seen Twilight at all. So, he ultimately didn’t have much to say. Just that… Twilight was getting what she deserved, really. A harsh reality to think about, but when you play with someone’s feelings like that, you’re bound to get burned.

“I guess it doesn’t change much. She didn’t really consider me when everything went down.”

“Yeah…” Starlight said, her voice trailing off while her ears splayed against her head again. “I’m sorry that this has all happened to you. If it didn’t—”

Anon stopped her right there. “If it didn’t, I wouldn’t have gotten closer to you, Starlight.”

Starlight’s eyes widened. “You…”

“And I wouldn’t be here, sitting in my rocking chair while you are on my couch. We wouldn’t have had that moment outside, and we would just be strangers again.”

She sighed. “Yeah…”

…

Silence pervaded the room. Anon looked away from her, and thought about all the moments that led to this one: the hiding from the truth in his house, Starlight bringing him out of his shell, his return to work, and the budding friendship with her. He could feel his stomach churn in a good way, like butterflies in a park on a gentle Spring day, where he ran through a field, happily running through it imagining Starlight by his side through it all.

And that last part is what terrified him.

He gulped down his emotions. He needed to focus. He needed to say it again, even if it hurt him again. After all, if what Twilight said was true, and he was shit out of luck when it came to mares, he still wanted to test this, even with Starlight, because a good life was a risk worth taking.

With a smile, he got out of his chair.

Starlight noticed this immediately. “A-Anon?”

He let out a big groan as he stretched his back. “Phew, I needed that.” He then stretched his arms, putting them high to the ceiling. He also stretched his feet, stepping on his tiptoes to get that blood flowing.

“Anon?”

He looked down at her. She was still on the couch, but now scooted closer to him by the armrest. Her forehooves were over the edge of it, and her body now laying the opposite as it was before, facing toward him too. All he could focus on after that was her eyes, glistening in the candlelight. How beautiful they were, a pool of color and of care.

He made his move.

“I need you here, Starlight.”

“You… need me?”

He nodded and crept down to her level. “I need you in my life.”

Her eyes widened. Whatever blush that wasn’t there before now blossomed to life on her cheeks. “Y-You…”

“I’m sorry if this is too forward. I’d rather just get this off my chest, if you don’t mind?”

She shook her head and watched him with a soft smile on her face.

“I… I remember coming here and feeling like I was all alone.” He held his hands together, his thumb gently grazing below the other as he continued, “I woke up here with no idea what happened. All I knew was Twilight, who had found me all alone near the castle grounds.”

“Really?”

He nodded. “It was not the greatest of entries, I admit. But I’m not good at those. Most people avoid me like the plague. It’s the… mark that bothers them the most. It’s been there since birth, but I can’t help it. It’s just part of who I am, I guess.

“And then Twilight found me, and she took me in wholeheartedly. Granted, we had the typical movie-like alien interaction. But once we got past that and she ran her little experiments, we started to get to know each other. She interviewed me about my life on Earth, I got to know how she got hooked up with such a large castle of her own, and then some time passed and she showed me around town. Then she had me meet all of you, her friends. And then her friends made me meet the rest of the town, and then…”

“The rest is history?”

He laughed. “And now we’re here. It’s been one hell of a run. From being super popular with the mares after they found out I was a guy, to then actually seeing me…”

Starlight’s eyes widened. “Wait, they hadn’t seen you but knew about you?”

“Yeah,” Anon replied, nodding curtly. “Somepony spilled that Twilight found me. And then, mares started to line up near the castle. Guards had to actually tell them that they weren’t able to sell their firstborns to meet me. Weird time being every mare’s exotic wet dream for a while.”

Starlight kept that blush on her face. She wore it well. “Y-You… so Spike wasn’t lying.”

“Yeah. He saw it all happen and told me about it. And then when they saw me outside, they all left.”

“I’m…”

“Sorry? Don’t be. I didn’t need them to accept me, especially like that. I’d rather want to be with people who want me, and not the whole exotic aspect.”

For some reason, she smiled at that. She also scooted even closer, only to sit up instead. What was she—

“Anon?”

“Hmm?”

“Come sit down beside me.”

Anon gulped as he walked to the other side of the couch. He sat down gently onto it, sinking into the plush the couch had to offer. He looked over at her, and gasped.

Her face was close to his. Her everything was close to him.

“S-Starlight?”

She nuzzled his cheek. “You’re quite the tease, you know that?”

His eyes widened. “I’m a what?”

Her smirk was something he hadn’t seen before, and her half-lidded eyes made something brew inside of him. She flipped her hair a bit and combed a hoof through it. “It’s later, Anon. You want to know what else Spike and I talked about?”

He nodded, trying to not make it obvious that his heart was racing at a mile a second. Was he about to pass out?

Starlight’s nuzzling brought him back to reality, her hum felt more like a raspy purr. “He and I talked about how popular you were with those mares. And how he knew relatively soon after I met you that I had a little secret I was holding onto.”

“And that was?”

She gave him a bright smile. “I like you, Anon.”

“Y-You do?”

“Mmhmm.”

Anon’s nerves were on fire. His mind was racing with his heart, and he was losing badly in the thought department. He gripped at his chest, choosing to lay down against the pillow.

Then, he felt some pressure on his leg.

“S-Starlight?”

She fumbled over his legs, before towering over him, her gaze peering down at him.

That look she gave him, one of concern and… love, a foreign one that was, it made him want to do something spontaneous. Something that would definitely keep her there forever. He wanted it to be so, even if it hurt. The risk—would she like him more or less?

He didn’t care at the moment. He needed to live in the moment, not out of it.

He captured her in his grasp, bringing her close to him.

“Are you okay—mmph?!”

His lips captured hers. And they danced. They danced and danced in the dark, as the flame that once grew bright fizzled out by the nightstand. Only their tussle, the rustling of his clothes against her natural coat, kept timbre and a fire that continued to grow. He held her there, their lips parting this way and that. He licked the tips of her teeth, while he could feel her tongue brush against his canines, if her shivering in his arms told him enough. He cupped her cheek and petted it gently, which earned him a muffled yet needy moan.

That alone made him both happy and keen on ending it right there before it got a little too much to bear.

So, he did. He cut their connection, pulling away with a string of saliva holding the moment together. The two were grinning in the fading light.

“A-Anon…”

“That was something else.”

She purred in his ear and nuzzled him gently. He reciprocated while he petted her mane with his other hand. He wanted to hear her a bit more, so he went down a bit further past her neck and—

“Keep that up and I’ll make sure you won’t walk tomorrow,” Starlight emphatically said, before gasping and magically charging something around her muzzle, which looked like some comically big zipper that zipped it shut.

He laughed hard at her antics. “I-I’m so sorry! That… wow, that was just so out of n-nowhere!”

She huffed and puffed her cheeks. She unmagicked her muzzle and sighed. “Sorry, you petting me there just felt so good.”

He threw his hands up. “You won’t hear me complain.”

She stretched up toward the ceiling too before flinging her hair back again, probably to make sure her mane didn’t migrate right in front of her and strangled Anon in a sea of hair. She smiled, looking down at him. “Neither will I, but… we should probably not go that far.”

“Yeah… it’s way too soon.”

She let out a blow. “I can’t believe that just happened.”

“Neither can I,” Anon whispered, his nerves still on end. He could feel each individual hair on his neck standing up. “I mean, I didn’t expect this. I thought you were going to push me away after all that and—”

“N-No. I wouldn’t do that!” She kissed him on his nose just to make the point clear, which he now understood three times over. “It’s just, with everything going on still, I…”

“You felt wrong to be like this?”

She nodded. “That and with you doing that in public…”

“Two plus two didn’t equal four,” Anon said with an exhale of air, probably born from the remaining stress he had built up. He took another deep breath and smiled.

Starlight rolled her eyes. “You and your sayings!”

“Hey, my brain is still trying to keep up with all this. You think this was planned?”

“With how you were saying you needed me in your life… uh, yes!” Starlight exclaimed. “It sounded like you practiced.” She giggled when she noticed Anon’s face, which was burning up at her ribbing. “Good to see I can make you blush too.”

“Can’t help it,” he replied. “You’re too cute.”

It was her turn to blush and hide away from him, choosing to collapse on his chest and giggle behind her forehooves. “Ugh. This is totally the opposite of how stallions normally act!”

“Good thing I’m not a stallion, then.” He smirked and poked her in the muzzle. “For humans, it takes two to tango. And for us, it’s the men that usually make the first move.”

Her ears perked up at that and she slid up to his face again, her breath mingling with his. “Usually?”

“Yep. And from what you ponies seem to be like, it’s the mare that makes the first move here.”

She licked the side of his cheek. “You’re right. And I’m more than happy to see how you humans make your relationships work, if it means we’re like this again.”

He chuckled. “Want to make out now instead?”

She laughed. “Not yet. We have one more thing to talk about.”

“And what might that be?”

“Boundaries. Nothing in public,” she said, prodding his chest. “Let’s keep this under wraps until we talk to Twilight.”

Anon raised his brow. “We?”

Starlight’s brow furrowed. “Yes, we.”

He groaned as he attempted to shift to get a better position. Unfortunately for him, Starlight was a great paperweight. “Why?”

“I’m not going to do more of this,” Starlight began, pointing a hoof between the two of them. “Until we get to the bottom of why Twilight treated you so poorly. We need answers, don’t we?”

As much as he hated to say it, he was curious. And if Starlight were there to help reel Twilight in, then maybe some closure could be had. Not that he needed it, he had her to thank for that. “I guess. I mean, I have you now and—”

“You have me?” Starlight grinned. “Not entirely. As I said, we need to talk to her first. I want to make sure there’s nothing else going on here. And besides, I have to make amends with her too now, and it does involve you.”

He sighed. “Okay… and—”

“And hey,” Starlight interrupted. “Once this all blows over, maybe you can confess to me in public…” She prodded him further, tapping lightly down his chest. “And maybe we can come back here after we tell our friends and maybe I could stay the night…”

He was on fire. Yes. On actual fire. Kerosene burning. “And you said I was the tease?”

She giggle-snorted. “I have to make sure you know what’s at stake here.”

He kissed her on the tip of her muzzle. “I know. And I’ll do that if it makes you happy.”

“Already whipped into shape?”

He snorted before he brought his arms around her form. “No, that requires a ring and a lot of time.”

She gasped. “A-Anon…?”

“Stay for a bit longer.”

“But—”

“Please?”

She sighed and nuzzled into his chest. “Okay… only a little longer.”

That little longer was all Anon needed to drift off into sleep with his mare in his arms.

Author's Note

Well, that shit just happened.

Written in four hours, edited in a hour-ish. Songs for this chapter (listen to the first one at 1.25x speed for the exact speed I was listening to while brainstorming this one):

Edits completed on January 3rd, 2025.

Trust Me

Anon grunted as he shielded himself from the sun. He blinked a bit, still startled by the amount of light piercing his eyeballs, but that didn’t change the sun’s rays, so he attempted to move himself out of the light’s path by moving his legs.

…

Nothing. He didn’t feel them at all. Did Starlight lop off his legs? Was he now an unfortunate amputee?

He shook his head and assessed the situation. No, he wasn’t an amputee. He really couldn't do much at all. He was currently wrapped tightly in a human burrito with a couple thick blankets holding him hostage.

That mare. He was thankful for the covers, but he was not thankful for the homemade burrito. He grunted, trying to wiggle his way out of the blankets, but to no avail. Using his only free arm, he peeled some of the layers to his left, but it was still tight around his legs. If he could just—egh—push his legs out enough, he could push through the layers and—gah!

Anon mentally cheered as he saw his right foot poking out from under the covers. He wiggled them toes of his just to make sure they were working, before repeating the same freedom strategy for his left. With his two feet now peeking out from under the covers, Anon heaved the remaining layers off, making them plop in a pile at the end of his couch.

Groggily, he tried to prop himself up but only managed to sluggishly flop on the backrest. He rubbed his eyes with his hands and pursed his lips.

What happened last night?

…

His eyes widened, and a distinct heat lingered over his form. It wasn’t because of the blankets… he knew that much. No, it was much more than that. He remembered what happened last night, and suddenly his hairs on the back of his neck were on end, and he could feel Starlight’s presence fold onto his skin. And then, he remembered what she said and it sent shockwaves throughout his body:

“I like you, Anon.”

Those words. Her words. They… drifted in his mind as he shakily pushed off the couch. He wobbled as he stood up, but he didn’t care. Drowsiness be damned. He was too focused on what she said, and there was this crick in his back that was bothering him and—clack—Anon groaned happily. He smiled through a meager yawn. He really needed to get a coffee in his system and stat. Maybe he could—oh wait, he was out of coffee!

Cursing under his breath, Anon walked over to the window sill. He stood there, looking out to see a rather normal spectacle: not a lot of ponies. If this were the case, this was going to a quiet day for him and—

“…??”

Or so he thought. The candle, which he had set for the night, was still standing but with the remnants of a fire. And beside it, was something even more glaring: a folded note with some cursive peeking out from the bend. It looked like it had been ripped out of some notepad he had left out. Guess Starlight got a hold of one of them, tore it, and wrote down whatever she wanted to tell him. And since she wasn’t here, he hoped it wasn’t a ‘thanks for swapping spit with me, unfortunately, it’s time to give you a round of disappointment!’ type of note. He took a deep breath and opened the note, his eyes darting across the page:

Anon,

I’m sorry I left you alone on the couch. You’re probably reading this and going, “Wow, did she leave me on purpose?” And I’m sorry to tell you but yes, yes I did. Don’t worry, I hope this note can explain that a bit further.

Just know this: I can’t stop thinking about last night. I mean, I can still feel your hand grazing the hairs on my neck and how you kissed me and—heh, heh. Let’s just say, my dreams were aplenty. And when I woke up, I really wanted to stay in your arms, but I had to leave.

I have to go talk to Twilight.

School’s not in session today, so I need to take full advantage of this while I still can. When I get to Canterlot, I’m scheduling time with her, and I hope that whatever time she picks, you’re available. I’ll even beg Mayor Mare to borrow you for that time.

Just… trust me, okay? The quicker we can get this done, the more time we get to spend together, and I definitely want to spend some more time with you. I hope the blankets kept you warm (sorry if tucked them in too much!).

See you later tonight!

Your Mare,

Starlight

…

Anon sighed and read it over again to himself. Once he did, he smiled and set the note aside. There were so many things he could say, so many ways he could react to this note, and the only thing that came to mind was, “And I said friendship was boring…”

He let out a bit of a chuckle, before picking the note up, folding it, and putting it in his left pocket. He’ll read it again in a little bit. He had to get started with his day, and he knew just the thing to do.

The One-Way Train Going Anywhere (But It Really Was Canterlot) - Starlight’s Perspective

Starlight laid down in her seat.

The train car was empty, save for a few ponies. She saw one pass her by, probably trying to wave down an attendant to ask them where the bathroom was. Thankfully, the pony didn’t trot up to her and ask; she didn’t know where it was either. All she knew was that a lot of time had passed her by since she got on this train.

She didn’t really think much on her way to Ponyville’s station. She was too spellbound by actually leaving Anon’s house to really think much else. She just robotically asked the station ticketmaster to give her a ticket, he hoofed her one, she slid some bits over, and her legs programmatically took the wheel she called her brain and skedaddled her way over to an empty train car. Then, without much thought, trotted into one of them, and proceeded to make herself at home, laying right down on one of those comfy seats.

And that was that.

…

Now she was forcibly out of that state of mind. Instead, she was free to think about anything, anything at all. She even scooted up to her window a bit, and craned her head over just to see what was going on out there, but even as the greenery passed on by, she started to hear something. A few words, that, when connected, unlocked something she was trying to ignore:

“You’re too cute.”

Anon.

She groaned and held her forehooves on her head.

He said that effortlessly to her. How? How did he manage that? Was he more smooth than she thought? Stallions have never said that about her, let alone any mares. Probably Trixie said it to her once, but she couldn’t remember. Egh! She shook her head. The audacity for him to say that after he had kissed her and then he held her… and… his hand went down her neck—

Starlight licked her lips, before her eyes widened.

She could feel her cheeks burst aflame, and her mind was scrambling to get rid of Anon’s hands from her—she squeaked as she kept her forehooves planted firmly on her cheeks. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She remembered returning to her hometown with Sunburst in tow, and how their parents were extremely off-putting at first. Then, they changed, and everything sort of fell into place. It was a great memory, one that she cherished so much, as she now has a closer relationship with her father, and now that she thought about it, he’s going to have to meet Anon someday since Starlight and him were now dating and—

She shakily sighed, her eyes darting to the window again. Craning her head out, she refocused herself and took a deep breath.

Outside, she could hear the tracks click and clack while the train careened down its windy path. She saw the hills grow and fall, trees hugging them for dear life. Canopies met overhead, while some kept their space. She propped herself up a bit, sliding directly onto her flanks. She looked away from the window and put a forehoof to her face.

Her cheek was not as warm now. Thank Cele—

“Are you okay, Miss?”

Starlight flicked to the voice, seeing a stallion dressed in blue garb. He was looking at her with a tilt of the head, almost as if he was—wait, a tag with the station line on it? Was he an attendant?

Her eyes widened.

“Miss? Are you okay? You look a bit out of sorts.”

She shook her head and tried to smile (at least she hoped) at the attendant. “N-No, I-I’m good. It’s just… my allergies! Y-Yeah, it’s just my allergies, hehe…”

He stared at her.

She stared back, trying to totally not look like her heart was racing a mile a second.

…

“Okay… Well if you need anything, don’t hesitate to wave one of us down.”

“O-Okay!” Starlight stammered.

She watched as the attendant walked away shaking his head.

Meanwhile, Starlight was struggling to keep herself in order. Why did the stallion look at her like that? Was there something on her face? Did she miss something when she left Anon’s and now it’s stuck on her muzzle? She didn’t know, and she was trying so hard to not show it, but that heat lingering on her cheeks told her otherwise. Thankfully, imagining Granny Smith suplexing a bear while she drank a bottle of apple cider nullified Starlight’s mind. She sighed.

That’s all she needed? Was to imagine that?

She shook her head and giggled to herself. Maybe Anon and Pinkie were right. Laughter was the best medicine. Now she was back on track, just like the train that she was on…

Starlight let out a brief blow. She was still traveling up to Canterlot. The train’s slow chugging sounds made Starlight realize that they only just started to ascend the mountain range up to the city. She still had a lot of time to herself, which she definitely didn’t want to spend being completely embarrassed. Instead, she was thinking about how close she was to seeing the place. How close she was to getting into the castle. How close she was… to finding Twilight.

Twilight. Her friend. One of her best friends. One that she demanded answers from, and one that Starlight hoped wasn’t going to avoid her again. She had to hold Twilight accountable, even if she really wanted to be back with Anon to cuddle on his couch. But nOoOo, Starlight had to think about it a bit harder and go to Canterlot to protect her stallion from Twilight, even if it hurt herself in the process.

It was a mare thing. He wouldn’t understand, at least, that’s what she kept telling herself.

Letting out a frustrated snort, Starlight scooted closer to the middle aisle. She looked down and up it, just to see if that attendant was around. He was truly gone, which made Starlight rest a bit easier.

Everyone else around her was either asleep (the one snoring in the back was loud) or chatting happily about… something. She couldn’t put her hoof on it, but it had something to do with strawberries and nobles. Not sure how those two correlated, but that wasn’t any of Starlight’s concern.

There was one however, in the seat to her left and up a row, that caught her attention.

A foal. They had a blue mane and light blue fur, and they were sitting near the edge of their seat, peering their head out to see what was going on down the aisle.

“My treasure, you mustn’t lean your head out too far!”

“Mom… don’t call me that!” the foal shouted, before being dragged further into their seat.

Their gravely voice contrasted their mother’s giggle, which Starlight presumed was followed by a nuzzle. “Mothers always make cute nicknames for their little ones.” Starlight heard the mare squee as she probably pinched the foal’s cheeks. “And you, my wonderful colt, are my treasure. You are my gift from your father.”

A little not intimidating growl sounded off. “Egh, gross.”

“Not to me, my dear. Now come look out the window. We’re nearing the station!”

Starlight blinked. The station? They were almost here?

She scrambled to her window and stared out. The train was still ascending, but she didn’t have a good view. All she could see was the ground below and they were only getting higher.

Starlight snorted. She felt just like that colt at one point. But now she was here, alone, going to Canterlot to visit a friend. A friend who had decided to…

…to…

She groaned. Of course she landed at this juncture! Starlight knew the whole tale, she didn’t need to think about that. But the fact Twilight was up here, in Canterlot, trying to put on a strong face… it was admirable, Starlight can admit that, but if Twilight hadn’t done what she did to Anon, she wouldn’t have had this issue! So why? Why didn’t Twilight just rush back to Starlight and Anon and tell them that she screwed up and wanted to fix things? Why couldn’t she face them?

There were so many questions, and yet so few answers. After all, the only pony who had them was Twilight herself. And Starlight was kicking herself for not asking her last night. No, she had to go with Anon last night to his place, so she could confess her feelings, and be reciprocated in kind to the point of kissing on—she squeaked as she pinched herself with her magic. No, she was not doing that again! She should’ve just gone over to the castle instead but… Anon was important too. That’s why she was here. And she was going to—

“Attention everypony. We have arrived in Canterlot! Please make sure to grab your belongings before you leave and—”

Starlight tuned the attendant out as she hopped off her seat and galloped down the aisle.

She had a princess to catch.

Author's Note

Short Interlude. Sorry for the delay here, but I'm glad to finally get this one out. Also adding this message from Golabi: "Bababooey."

Song for this chapter:

Also adding this one since I listened to this a bit (no relation to the chapter itself though):

Edits completed on January 3rd, 2025.

I'll Be The Crutch To Hold Your Grief

A Castle Crasher Meets A Princess In Distress - Starlight’s Perspective - Canterlot Castle

It was only a matter of time before Starlight reached the castle. She wasn’t super excited about traversing the fabled city, mostly because she needed a map to go to certain places. Thankfully, the castle was pretty obvious to see from anywhere. Its tall towers reached high in the sky while they shined in the limelight. The only problems she had to face were navigating the sea of ponies she’d run into…

…and getting past the guards.

The first would only frustrate her slightly. She had only bumped into one pony—a world record by some standards. It’s… the other one, that she was worried about.

Starlight snorted as she walked through the castle gates. A guard pony had already permitted her to enter, now she just needed to get past the guard positioned right in front of Twilight’s throne room. And that, that was harder than entering the castle itself. It wasn’t because the guard was rude or anything. They were probably nice, she didn’t know. It was… well…

See, there was a line. A rather large one. Multicolored in appearance, with differing species mingling with each other. It made Starlight slow herself down, eying each creature further down. Maybe she should have wasted all her magic reserves to just teleport up to here, but that would have been nearly a death sentence, she was not Twilight herself. So, she cautiously trotted her way up to the last pony in line. A full dress bore their form from head to toe, which bothered Starlight greatly, as it was hot and she was not a fan of melting. The fact that this pony had one on…

Starlight sighed. There wasn’t a need for small talk. Inconveniencing someone else strictly on the basis of asking, ‘How cold are you?’ wasn’t something Starlight wanted to do. She didn’t want to risk the pony turning and asking her to, ‘Put your question where the sun doesn’t shine’ and then her having to find that place.

She could wait. She’s waited so long already, what more harm could this line bring?

So she waited…

One Hour Later

Starlight was trying to convince the stallion behind her that the line was a figment of their imagination. That it totally moved a few times without them knowing! Totally.

The stallion whinnied in response.

“I’m telling you, it’s true!”

“Yeah… say, are you Starlight Glimmer?”

“Uhh… yeah? Didn’t I tell you that already?”

The stallion flicked its tail out and smirked. “Just making sure you remembered.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh. Sorry, I must have been talking your muzzle off and—”

He waved her off. “No, no. It’s good to know that somepony else other than my marefriend isn’t afraid to show who they are.”

“Oh? She didn’t come with you?”

His black mane was tucked behind his ear. And… did he just wink at her? “She… had to tend to another one of my herdmates. Hay fever and all that.”

Starlight blinked. Maybe she did imagine it. “Oh. Well, I hope she feels better soon.”

“I hope so too,” the stallion replied, that same ear twitching as he continued, “Well, looks like the line moved up ahead.”

She turned around and wow, it moved up twice actually! “Good. Started to wonder if I was going to be stuck here for another two hours!”

The stallion groaned while Starlight’s eyes widened.

“I… just jinxed it, didn’t I?”

Two Hours Later

She jinxed it.

…

Starlight wished she went to the bathroom on the train.

Thirty Minutes, Twenty Five Seconds, and Thirty One Milliseconds Later

Starlight was now looking at the door that led into Twilight’s throne room.

The guard stationed on her right was eying her down like a piece of candy. Kind of strange, noticing this now after she confessed to Anon and he reciprocated her. Has she ever noticed stallions do this to her?

She blinked like a strobe light at the thought. Maybe… maybe she was missing the signs all along?

…

“Ma’am, it is your turn to go in.”

Starlight shook her head rapidly, the guard’s rather feminine voice opting her to tilt her head. “Really?”

“Yeah—wait didn’t you hear me before?”

“N-No… hehe…”

The guard deadpanned.

Starlight tried not dying right then and there, sheepishly smiling while continuing her nervous laughter.

“Go on," the guard said, rolling her eyes.

She beckoned Starlight forth with a hoof, while the stallion behind Starlight, which she glanced at, gave her a vicious glare. Ponies these days! She cleared her throat and muttered a ‘Thank you’ under her breath as she processed through the double doors that had creeeaaakked open just enough for her to waddle in. She walked further in, only to stop momentarily when she heard those same doors close shut like she just entered a dungeon. Inside was one other guard, stoic as ever, next to an empty throne where Starlight thought Twilight would be sitting in.

Starlight approached, cautiously, eying each tapestry and decoration like they were going to jump out at her. Most of it was purple cloth trimmed in gold, while the rest was just… there. She didn’t really care to say much else on the subject, she just walked further in, before setting her flanks down on the red carpet.

Then, out of nowhere, Twilight fizzled into existence, her violet magic surrounding her form.

She growled, shaking whatever was on her back (it looked like… sawdust?) before beginning to look over at Starlight. “I hope the next pony doesn’t need to make an emergency visit to a sawmill. And—oh, Starlight?”

“Hey, Twi’,” Starlight managed before grunting. See, Twilight had hopped off her little perch to embrace Starlight, unfortunately the excitement she had must’ve miscalculated, causing Starlight to hold the brunt of an alicorn who was probably traumatized by her ‘visit to the sawmill’. Starlight obliged, sharing a brief nuzzle with her, before parting ways with a smile on her muzzle.

Twilight had one too, grinning as she asked, “So, what brings you here?”

At first, Twilight waited, still grinning, still having her wings out like they were open in anticipation, and as Starlight stayed silent, her gaze changed, one of concern, and her wings folding back to her sides.

And then, she frowned.

“Oh… I see.”

Starlight took a deep breath. “You know why I’m here, Twilight.”

Twilight took a deep breath and turned to her guard. She flicked out a wing toward them. “Sergeant Comet Chaser, can you leave us alone for a bit?”

“Yes, your highness.”

The guard saluted Twilight, before he turned and walked towards the throne room’s doors. Starlight turned and watched him for a few moments, trotting and surveying his surroundings like any experienced guard would do, just to make sure no evil doer was not in some crevice or behind some curtain. He even peered around one just to be sure, but shrugged and stood in front of the door.

Then, he turned around and stayed there.

Not leaving…

Twilight cleared her throat. “Sergeant?”

“Yes, your highness?” His voice echoed down the room.

She pointed a hoof toward the doors. “When I meant alone, I meant, like, you being outside the room.”

Starlight could hear a panicked grunt from the guard, his eyes widening as he half-saluted, half-bowed toward Twilight. Then, with a bit of a scramble, he exited the room through those bulky double doors. They closed gently behind him with a resounding thud.

Starlight sheepishly smiled at Twilight.

“I… I’m surprised he didn’t get it the first time.”

Twilight waved a hoof at her dismissively, letting out a chortle. “I’m not. He’s… particularly worried about me as of late, making sure I’m always with him or another guard that he trusts. That’s what I get for…”

Her voice trailed off, leaving Starlight to tilt her head. “For…?”

“For… well, what you wanted to talk about.”

“Right…” Starlight muttered. She let out a nervous laugh, before sucking in a very sharp breath. “Look, I’m not here to make a scene. It’s… more about setting things straight.”

Now it was Twilight’s turn to tilt her head, her ears flopping to the left. “You… want to set things straight?”

“About Anon.”

Starlight saw Twilight’s eyes lose a bit of their sheen. “I see…”

Something about her voice, how low it was, how weak it appeared, it’s like Starlight just sucked all the air out of the room when she said Anon’s name. It bothered her, partially, to see Twilight so distraught. It was of her own volition, though, this state that she was in. Starlight hadn’t noticed it before, but the purple in Twilight’s wings looked a bit discolored, a few white hairs showing through the purple sea. Stress-induced? Prolonged, maybe, but as she scoured over Twilight further, the white hairs grew aplenty.

She blinked. “So?”

Twilight hung her head while her wings unfurled slightly, only to sag too. “So…”

Starlight groaned. “Where do you want to start?”

“More like, where do I not want to start,” Twilight said, sitting on her flanks. She stayed close to Starlight, although she turned away partially, leaving Starlight to wonder as she observed Twilight’s every movement. A twitch there on her right ear, a lifted right forehoof there…

“I… I guess you want to know the full story. Don’t you?”

Starlight nodded. “I do.”

Twilight hummed to herself, before casting a glance back at Starlight. “And you’re not going to—”

“Twilight. I won’t do anything like that. That’s not what a friend would do,” Starlight interjected, glaring at Twilight. She stomped her forehoof on the marble floor. “I am not going to make you think in that way. Not even once.”

“Then why do I feel like that anyway?” Twilight snapped back, her wings standing at attention. “I know it’s my fault! But I don’t want to feel so wrong about this…”

“So wrong?”

She growled. “I’ve been staying up in my bed, for the most part. Only recently did I start getting some sleep, but that was only because I asked Spike to see if Celestia could recommend me somepony with the ability to medicate me to sleep.”

Starlight’s eyes widened. “Why would you need that? Don’t books usually knock you out?”

Twilight weakly chuckled. “I wish I could do that. Instead, all I get to do is attend meetings, listen to nobles' requests, interact with guards who stress more about me than their own herds, and, most importantly, work for the ponies who need me here. That last one is the only thing that drives me nowadays, Starlight. And during all of that, I just hope that I somehow manage a midday nap without any interruptions.”

“I know a pony who can help you maximize your midday naps.”

An eye roll earned Starlight a follow-up, “Of course you do. So do I. She’d tell me to just fly on a cloud while the guards weren’t looking. Unfortunately (and fortunately), my guards are tentative and would notice. Also I’m not having them be inconvenienced by my needs.” She snorted. “What you don’t know is, well—” She grit her teeth before she walked down the carpet past Starlight. “I’m just going to say this, so don’t interrupt me, okay?”

“Okay, Twi’. Just… don’t overdo it.”

Twilight smiled weakly. “Thank you.” She cleared her throat and began to pace. “I’ve been submerged in my work lately. Mostly because now I'm here, in the castle, alone, serving the ponies as their Princess, a ruler of the kingdom of Equestria. And since I've been doing this, it made me realize something. Something important, Starlight.

“It made me…” She paused to lick her lips. “It made me see a future where all I had was me. Nothing else but me and those who I live to serve. Can you picture that, Starlight?”

She looked expectantly at Starlight, beckoning a hoof as if to interrupt just for a moment. Starlight shook her head. “I could hardly imagine...”

Twilight walked straight up to Starlight and smiled, her bottom lip twitching. “You probably remember your time in that town you and I met at. I'm sorry I have to bring it up, but... it's like that, but multiply it by two hundred thousand. That's how many ponies I have to serve. And that pressure of having every single ponies’ lives in your hooves, being their beacon in a world so indifferent to them… that pressure is real. And it hurts. It reminds me that friendship is fleeting. It must be a constant in order to stay grounded, otherwise ponies will grow distant. That’s why I value you just as I value everypony that has ever crossed paths with me. Compassionately, yet careful not to overstep. Calculated, but running with the leaves just to feel free with those that I care about.”

Starlight tilted her head. “Why?”

“Why? Because,” Twilight began, only to bring herself close to Starlight. “I don’t want anypony to feel burdened by me. In one way or another. And I did that. I did that with Anon. I miscalculated. I led him on. I burdened him with my actions. I made him grow distant as a result of them.”

…

Those words. Those were Anon’s words, just reappropriated. Was she…?

“I just had to be his burden. I… couldn’t want what he wanted. That love... it wasn’t mine to hold.” That bottom lip of hers continued to shake, and a few tears, anchored by her eyelids, began to race down her cheeks. “I-I… I couldn’t. My duty calls, even if it hurts.”

“You’re allowed to love another pony in that way, Twilight!” Starlight shouted, bringing her close. “Love’s just another extension of friendship and—”

“In a way, yes…” Twilight’s muzzle scrunched up and she sighed. “But not for me.” She walked away for a moment, choosing to climb back up on her perch, on her throne, and sit haplessly there, choosing not to look at Starlight. “Not for me yet.”

Starlight’s eyes widened as she froze there, gobsmacked. “Y-Yet?”

“Yes. He’s not the one for me. What I said to him was true. He’s not a stallion, he’s a human. I don’t want to strip that from him if us having a foal ever came into question. Our biology, our makeup of who we are, they don’t match and they never will. Even if Zecora had something we could use, even if there was a spell out there, I wouldn’t want to risk it to hurt him. He doesn't deserve that treatment, and I realize it now more than ever.

“I also don’t want him to love me if I cannot commit that love to him too. I’d rather have him fall out of love with me than try to love him only to break his heart. His heart deserves someone who loves him back, someone who isn’t in my position.” She looked back down at Starlight, more tears now racing down her cheeks. “G-Good thing… he belongs to you, Starlight.”

It was Starlight’s turn to blush. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

A laugh, followed by a cheeky grin, those two made Starlight even more embarrassed. “No mare—sniff—who isn’t in a herd would come this far to prove a point for a stallion.”

“M-Maybe their friendship is that strong, T-Twi’!” Starlight stammered out.

She could feel the heat rush to her cheeks, and her hairs were on end again. Something that Twilight noticed and made her way back down to comfort Starlight, wrapping a wing around her. “I don’t doubt it. You’ve grown together, faster than I had with my friends. It’s… amazing to feel that extension. It’s like you're emanating it each time you talk.”

Starlight grumbled something under her breath, choosing to accept the embrace for now, leaning slightly into Twilight’s side.

Twilight giggled. “I now know how Cadance feels when she can sense love. Friendship this strong is overwhelming, and…” She sniffed a bit. “It smells like cotton candy. Did you happen to trip into Pinkie Pie along your way here?”

Starlight laughed. “N-No! I… I was over at Anon’s place. I wasn’t thinking, I didn’t shower and—”

A high-pitched whistle made Starlight stop.

“Wow, you went that far with him?”

Her cheeks were burning now. On fire. Where was the fire extinguisher when a mare needed it!? “No, we just cuddled on his couch.”

“Y-Yeah, I don’t buy that,” Twilight said, shaking her head. “I’m—wow. You really love him, don’t you?”

The word love never crossed Starlight’s mind, but the word like did. And with Twilight now saying this new-ish word, it just felt right, weirdly enough. With how Starlight addressed him in her note to him before she left, she couldn’t stop blushing at the idea of being his mare. It…

“I do. I really do.”

Twilight smiled. “Glad somepony does. Even though I said Anon did have his flaws, his positive characteristics do shine through.”

“I wish you could tell him that.”

She clamped her mouth immediately after she said those words, but Twilight didn’t seem too bothered, her smile only receding to a blank, deadpan stare. However, her wing slowly folding back to her side did tell Starlight a little bit. “I… I guess that is why you were also here.”

“Twilight, I want you to talk to Anon about this too. He needs to hear this from you. Not from me.”

Twilight nodded curtly, before she cast her gaze elsewhere. “You’re right, but… I know he hates me. I know he does not want to have me in his life.”

“How do you know it’s a permanent thing, Twi’?”

“He said it himself!” Twilight shouted as she snapped her gaze back to Starlight, slamming her forehoof click-clacked against the floor. She grit her teeth and growled. “It was my fault I went too far! Apologizing to him will only leave him with just an inkling of—”

Starlight groaned and threw her forehooves in the air. “Isn’t that enough?”

“What?”

She lowered her forehooves and scooted even closer to Twilight. “Isn’t that enough? Just an inkling, to let that friendship start again?”

Twilight hung her head. “It could be.”

“Then why are you—”

“I’m afraid. I don’t know why. It’s obvious. I should’ve talked to Anon sooner, but I couldn’t…” She closed her eyes tightly and let out a whine. “I’m sorry, Starlight. I’m so sorry.”

“Let it out, Twilight,” Starlight murmured. “You shouldn’t be suffering alone.”

“I-I don’t…” Twilight stammered, before she buried herself in the crook of Starlight’s neck.

The two stayed there, close. Starlight patted Twilight on her back and petted her mane, while Twilight wailed, her tears matting Starlight’s shoulder. Starlight could only imagine if Twilight was doing this every night, and it bothered her that she didn’t hear it. Maybe… Maybe Twilight had a noise cancelation spell cast at the time? Maybe, but that wouldn’t explain how Spike heard her. Was there a possibility that she had let it down once in a while? Maybe she forgot to cast it and that’s why Spike knew? Plus, Starlight knew she herself was a deep sleeper. She could have slept through that, regrettably so.

Whatever the reason, Starlight was thankful to be awake for her dear friend. She was here, in the moment, in the now, hugging Twilight to let those worries slip away.

It didn’t take too long for Twilight to sure herself up. She backed up, leaving the comforts of Starlight’s hug to shiver all alone on her throne. She sat there, adjusting her crown, while making sure her slippers didn’t slip away. Starlight mentally laughed, seeing as her friend was currently trying not to stick her tongue out. That one slipper was putting up a fight for some reason. Luckily, the fight was short-lived and Twilight puffed her chest out happily knowing her slipper was now secure.

She smiled and froze when Starlight came into view.

“Uhh… you didn’t see?”

Starlight grinned. “I saw it. It’s okay, we all struggle with those things.”

“Pfft!” Twilight blurted out. “I need to not struggle as much. I have an image to maintain.”

“Your secret is safe with me, Twi’.” She replied, putting a hoof over her chest.

“Thank you.”

The two giggled with each other, and Starlight even giggle-snorted, which made them giggle even harder. By the time they calmed down, Starlight’s mane was a mess, and Twilight’s crown needed a few adjustments again. With a bit of magic, the possibilities and speed were on their side.

“You know, Starlight?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m glad you came up here to talk to me about this.”

Starlight smiled. “Good. Because you’re not going to flake out on me, are you?”

Twilight ‘No Flake’ Sparkle sheepishly hid behind her wing. “Pencil me for three moons from now.”

“Sure, I’ll make sure to let Anon know. You want to meet before sundown or?”

“Whatever works best for you two. I don’t want to—”

“Burden us, I know. Don’t worry, Twi’. You’re not a burden.”

“I doubt that,” Twilight said lamely as she hung her head.

Starlight wasn’t having that. She walked up and hugged her friend again.

Twilight sighed and nuzzled her before parting ways.

“Oh, and Starlight?”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you for being such a good friend. I’m… glad to see you progress further than I could have ever done.”

“Pshh, don’t sell yourself short, Twilight.”

“I’ll try not to!”

Starlight smirked, waved her friend goodbye, and turned to leave the room.

Maybe things will finally be alright.

Gambling, Pizza, And Cleaning Supplies - Anon’s House - Anon’s Perspective

The smell of some leftover pizza filled the air. It emanated from a left open box with two slices of cheese deliciousness still sitting there, left uneaten. Meanwhile, beside it, laid a stack of cards, neatly kept without a card jutting out, while another former stack splayed out, scattered. The ten of clubs glared at Anon, a card that he knew well. By that stack lay some leftover Discordian Coins, an alternative to the Equestrian bit that Discord made up for their games of Poker they had tonight. It was a boys night, after all.

Since Starlight was out, he had gone around Ponyville scrounging up his friends for a night of fun. He hadn’t heard from them since everything went down with Twilight, so he was itching to get some quality time with the boys in. They were curious about how he was doing, and he was more than happy to talk to them about it, now that he was feeling better. He didn’t blame them for not checking in on him, they had their own lives to handle, but that didn’t stop them from blaming themselves, even if it meant having to cave into Anon’s demand for some good old fashion Poker. Discord, being himself, said that he wasn’t going to lose any bits on this, so he decided to make his own coin on the spot and use it for the game itself. Spike and Big Mac agreed, since there was no harm in playing at that point, and Anon agreed, thanking Discord for creating the gambling version of Monopoly. Safe to say, they played several rounds of Poker that all culminated in Anon losing the equivalent of ten thousand bits.

Yeah, he wasn’t salty. Not even remotely.

…

Why had Spike pushed All-In with Ace-Ten? What was his goal? To make him pop off his chair and swear in every single language known to mankind? It must have been, as Spike’s toothy grin at the time cemented his peeved state.

He also had raised Anon on the turn.

…

Anon punched the table with his balled up fist. He winced, gritting his teeth. Did he learn anything after doing that? No, he was wanting to punch the table again, but he was afraid he’d break it and then have to ask Starlight to magic it back together, if she could even do that.

Speaking of… Anon hoped Starlight was okay. That note, while full of love, did worry him with her conquest for Twilight. He had already moved on from her… mostly. He still felt something for Twilight, he just knew it wasn’t love. His heart was for someone else. Someone named Starlight, surprisingly.

He smiled as he moved the box of leftover pizza off the table. He’ll be back upstairs here soon, he needed to get this pizza in his ice box first to avoid it smelling like death. With a quick burst of energy, Anon ran down the stairs and into the kitchen, grinning ear to ear. He set the pizza box aside, placing it on the counter while he searched for some foil to wrap these pieces in. Fumbling with one of the drawers, he found his tin foil, ripped some off, and wrapped that pizza tight. He threw the two pieces into one of his many ice boxes he had (refrigerators weren’t common, so he had to settle with ice boxes), and then threw the cardboard box away into his conveniently placed trash can.

Wiping his hands clean of that unnatural disaster, he turned around and—

“Anon?!”

Anon’s eyes widened. Starlight was back?

He turned back around and walked up to his front door. “Starlight?”

He could hear her happily neigh behind it. Yeah, that was her. His mare. “Of course. Who else would be knocking on your door at this hour?”

Anon tapped his chin. “Hmm, let’s see… you… you… and maybe Mayor Mare if she really wanted to swing by—”

“You goof! Open the door! I have something to tell you!”

“Oh?” Anon raised a brow, not that she could see that. He opened the door anyway and leaned out to see her, smiling up at him. “I mean, I’m opening the door anyway to see you, but what do you—mmph?”

He had leaned down a little bit closer to Starlight, which gave her ample time to rear on her hindlegs and ensnare his lips momentarily. They kissed softly, Anon holding the door open with one hand while placing his other on her back. Meanwhile, she hobbled her way in, making Anon fall back into his house. The two laid in a heap on the floor, still connected somehow in their dance.

Starlight disconnected their kiss first, licking her lips with a satisfying smack. She peered down at him with a half-lidded gaze.

He blinked. “Was that what you wanted to tell me?”

She smiled and flared her horn. The magic clicked the door shut and locked it just the same. “No, but I really wanted to kiss you when I got back. Sorry, didn’t mean to—eep!”

Anon cupped her right cheek and smiled. “I’m not complaining when a cutie like you does that to me.” Starlight looked stunned, her muzzle slightly ajar, which made Anon tilt his head and continue, “Starlight?”

“Uhh, sorry. Anon, do you know what that word means?”

“Cutie?”

“Yes, and cute. That one too.”

He shrugged. “Yeah. It’s you.”

He could see her blush in the evening light. “I-I… Anon!”

“What?”

She groaned. “That word means a bit more than what you think it means!”

“Oh? What? Am I telling you to marry me when I say it?”

“N-No! It’s… not as much as that. It’s more like…” Her muzzle scrunched up like a crumpled up ball of paper. “More like saying you favor a mare over any other.”

Anon shrugged. “Well, it’s true. You are my mare, right? That’s what you said in your note to me—hey!”

She slugged Anon’s shoulder, making him grunt. “Just because I said it doesn’t mean you need to say it again!”

He laughed and got propped himself up with his elbows. “Alright, alright. I getcha. I won’t say it again.”

“Good, now—”

“—I’ll only call you cute when we’re here. Can’t resist the temptation.”

She groaned and rolled her eyes. “Fine…” She nuzzled his side. “So, what were you doing before I knocked on your door?”

Anon grunted as he began to stand up, pushing himself up off the ground with one of his hands. “Cleaning the house a bit.”

“Cleaning?”

“Yeah, I had a day off today too, so I invited some of the guys to hang out and eat some pizza with me and—why are you looking at me like I just insulted your family tree?”

Anon watched as Starlight went through many different emotions all at once. Her ears flopped and twitched like they were radio-ing into a morning talk show, while her brows were furrowed, her lips returned to a blank stare, minus her upper lip which was moving all on its own, and her tail which was clearly wagging like no tomorrow. What was going on with her?

“Starlight?”

She shook her head rather rapidly and cleared her throat. “Uhh, are you saying I didn’t need to go up there by myself?”

He nodded. “Yeah, probably. If you had asked, I could’ve gone with you if you stuck around and—”

She frowned. “I’m sorry! I should’ve asked you! Then we wouldn’t have had to sch—”

Anon booped her snoot.

Her eyes crossed and she probably saw her god somewhere in there.

Anon smiled. “Knew there was a reset button on you somewhere.”

She growled at him before hopping off him. Then, she stuck her tongue out. “Let’s talk in the living room and—”

“Sure. Just need to finish up my cleaning—”

Anon blinked. Starlight suddenly disappeared. Where did she…

Then, she reappeared in a backdrop in a myriad of colors. Was that her teleporting—and then he saw some bags. Trash bags, to be exact. Anon pointed at the bags.

“Did you—”

“Just finish cleaning for you? Yes, yes I did. I stacked all your playing cards nicely on your really large table. I cleaned up the plates and cups and set them in your kitchen, and these bags are full of what I believe are Discord's made-up coins. Oh, and some of the used napkins too.”

She tossed the bags at Anon, and he grabbed all of them except one, which nearly made him meet the ground again. “Uhhh, thanks?”

“No problem!” She cheerfully chirped. “Happy to help.”

Anon felt his heart pulse. He subsequently walked past her, choosing to open the lock to toss his trash out in the can outside his lot. He handled one by one carefully, making sure to squeeze each one in there, and with all of them in, he wiped his hands clean and walked back into his house, only to see Starlight wagging her tail again, smiling at him.

“So, you want to cuddle on the couch?”

Anon smiled. “Yeah, just let me wash my hands real quick.”

He quickly ran into the kitchen, turned on the faucet, and washed his hands. He made sure to use a crap ton of soap, just in case there was some dirt in his nails or something. Once he dried those puppies off, he walked into the living room to see Starlight sitting on the couch. She patted the other side of it and smiled.

Anon didn’t need to be told twice. He flopped onto his side of the couch, which made Starlight crawl up to him and snuggle right into his form, her muzzle just tucked under his chin. He wrapped his arm around her barrel and sighed.

Yeah, he needed this after a long day of gambling (and subsequently losing) fake money.

Starlight hummed happily, purring into his ear. “So… are you ready?”

“For what you’re going to tell me?”

She nodded.

“Sure.”

“Great!” She clopped her forehooves together. “Twilight and I were finally able to talk.”

“Good. If you went all the way up there and weren’t able to talk to her, I’d assume Canterlot would be burning right now.”

Starlight rolled her eyes. “Anon, I wouldn’t burn down Canterlot.”

“Surprising,” Anon muttered, looking away from her. He still had that goofy candle on his stand by the window. “Probably should light that candle soon, it’s getting dark out and—”

Starlight sparked the candle to life. He looked back over to her. “What? You said soon.”

He nodded. “I did say that." Anon shook his head in disbelief before clearing his throat. "So you were able to talk to Twilight. What did you two talk about?”

“Well, we’re going to meet with her in a few days at the Castle of Friendship…”

“Specifically?”

“Friday.”

Anon cursed under his breath. “That’s the day Mayor Mare wanted to meet with me.”

“Don’t worry, Anon. She’s cool with us meeting her after we’re both done with work.”

He shuffled against her and sighed. “Good. I’d hate to burden Mayor Mare with a lot of work.”

Starlight frowned. “Yeah… heh…”

That was a weird reaction. Her laugh sounded so fragile. “Would you want me to take a day off?”

“N-No. You’re fine. You just… reminded me of something Twilight said.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, something about not wanting to be a burden to others.”

He nuzzled her cheek. “Hey, just because she stole my line doesn’t mean you need to be upset about it.”

“I’m not upset about that! I’m upset that she felt the same way about being a burden and—”

Anon’s face fell short. “I know, I know.”

Starlight pulled back a bit and searched his face with her eyes that shined in the candlelight. “Are you okay with this?”

Anon… didn’t know. He was okay with it, but now that it’s happening, something churned in his stomach.

“I… guess?” He scratched the back of his head. “I don’t know what to really feel. I’ve already felt like I’ve moved on from her. I have you, I have Spike, Big Mac, Discord, and the rest of Twilight’s friends. Granted, it would be nice if Twilight hadn’t said what she said, but she laid with her words and stuck to them. She never came by to check on me, she just… stayed away. I don’t need someone like her back in my life if she doesn't want to apologize.”

Starlight frowned. “But she does want to apologize and—”

“She wants to do that now, Starlight?”

“Yeah…”

Anon let out a pained groan as he moved his arm up Starlight’s neck. “Better late than never but I don’t know. I don’t want her to feel pressured to apologize to me. It won’t feel… genuine.”

“Anon,” Starlight said, nuzzling into his neck. She pulled back up and smiled. “She’s not. Trust me.”

For some reason, Anon doubted that.

Author's Note

Comet Chaser cameo. Thanks for giving me permission to use your OC, Sarge!

As stated in my blog, song for this chapter:

Edits completed on January 3rd, 2025.

Tear Down My Walls, I Don't Need Them Now

Embrace, Entice, And A Whole Lotta Spice - Anon’s House - Anon’s Perspective

Anon woke to the smell of sunflowers and a warmth that wrapped around his body like a blanket that wished to smother him. In the darkness, he blinked owlishly to try and see what was in front of him, but to no avail. The room was shrouded in a black veil. He could barely see right in front of him, a blurry black figure clutched his form, and whatever was on him was quieter than a mouse.

He wished that whatever was on him wasn't poking his ribs, but wishing wasn't going to get that dull pressure to go away, so he decided to act. He shuffled, and enacted the tried and true method of freedom that worked for him last time: kick and wiggle. This time, however, he wanted to be a bit more careful. Kicking too hard may make him hit a board or something and break his foot, while wiggling a bit may make the creature on top of him wake up. So, he lightly kicked his right leg forward and found... nothing but air. That threw him off, since the last time this happened, he was unable to move pretty much everything. So the fact that his leg was free meant... something. Just what was on top of him?

Being a risk taker, Anon slowly moved his right arm. At first, it was the same result, but something changed when he started reaching towards the ceiling. Maybe it was his arm or the little wiggle that accompanied that movement, but all that Anon knew was that he had to stifle a groan as a sudden shockwave of pain coursed through him. Whatever was on top of him really liked to send him reminders of what being alive felt like. He shook off said reminder and focused on that warmth, like a furnace on a cold winter's day and then—

He sniffed. That sunflower smell crossed over, and suddenly it was summer. He shook his head rapidly and blinked a bit more.

Suddenly, things all made sense. It's like that shake of the head rebooted him, like he was a computer that experienced a fresh restart. His vision was more crisp, seeing a partial outline of what looked to be a pony blob laying on him. He saw their mane, how it rubbed up against his chest. Their head was probably behind that puffy hairdo, which is why he felt the pain in his ribs, they were probably nuzzling him there. He could also hear them now too, their soft snores pierced his ears. And... wait.

Wasn't Starlight over at his place? Did she go home before they conked out on the couch? He didn’t remember her leaving...

That meant she was still with him! She was sleeping on top of him!

He closed his eyes and took a moment to control himself. He needed to keep his heart to a steady comfortable beat, not one that’s in competition with his mind! He was losing that battle of his, one where his heart was now cruising at speeds of a hundred miles an hour on the freeway named Anon’s Gateway. He took a few deep breaths, before he resorted to staying still.

What should he do? Just wait this out or get up to make sure she hadn’t caved in his ribcage? Neither option sounded great, (Starlight waking up angry at him would be something he'd wish to avoid), but he had to do something.

Anon stifled a grunt as he turned to get a better view behind him. If it was morning, the light would be showing through the curtains right now and—wait, didn’t Starlight set a candle last night too?

He propped himself a bit further up, which somehow freed his rib cage a bit. Now that pressure was on his stomach, which he was okay with for now. He smiled as he now had an even better view of her, and sure enough, everything made sense. The pinching pain was due to one of her forelegs poking him there, while the rest of her drooped to the back splash of the couch. Only her face and body remained on him.

He sighed and looked behind him to—the candle was not standing. It most likely melted, just like the rest of them would. And of course, the curtains were closed shut, that rope more tightly knotted than he would ever be capable of doing.

Unicorns and their magic.

Anon cursed under his breath and looked back at his predicament. It was a better setup now, but he really should consider getting her up at this point, but he didn't want to scare her and suddenly get zapped by her magic in a fit of panic or worse, getting skewered by an unguided horn. Avoiding seeing God earlier than he expected, Anon kept his movements slow. He snaked his left arm under her legs and pulled her closer to him. Then, he looped his arm over her body, hoping this would anchor her while her right would do the unthinkable: finding purchase in her mane as he let his fingers glide through that silky hair of hers. Getting no response, he traced down her neck a bit, eventually treading closer to her muzzle and—

“Mmm…” he heard her moan, followed by a brief blow. “Keep going, Anon…”

That tickled his ears. “Starlight…?”

He heard her lips plap to a close again, followed by a brief snort-growl combination. He smiled and kept petting her for a little longer, before slipping his fingee tendons underneath her muzzle to see if scratching her would stifle her out of dreamland. As he moved his hand, he started to feel a bit of what Anon thought was drool, the wetness there now tickling his skin. Ignoring it, he continued with his plan, choosing to lift her muzzle up a tad, that way he could get a more comfortable angle at her chin. At first, this worked, his fingers shimmying underneath her chin to give her some well-deserved scritches. Then, he tried propping her a bit with his left hand and then…

…well, he somehow found her chin with his right, his fingers wiggling with glee. Carefully, he started to scratch her.

Nothing happened at first, only getting her to stir just a bit. But when he increased the pace, he suddenly got a taste of reality. What he thought was going to emit a cute moan turned out to be a full-fledged flop on his metaphorical highway. She wiggled against his left hand, and flopped closer to it, nearly jamming his fingers on his right hand in the process. He grimaced and stifled a pained groan—rest in pieces, fingers—but he returned them to her muzzle all the same. He gave her a couple more scratches that thankfully didn’t induce another whole belly flop, and returned them back to her neck. This made her half-moan half-purr, which made Anon wonder if she was part cat, but he shoved that thought away as he watched her stir in the dark.

He heard her grumble out his name, “Anon…”

And suddenly his heart grew three sizes. He felt that blush pierce his cheeks, and he knew he was going to wave his dignity goodbye if she woke up.

But she was still snoring somewhat, as if it was her sleep talk blurting something out. He smiled and cupped her cheek.

“Wake up, babe…”

The words exited him, and he found them to be much easier to say than saying her full name. Maybe it was time to belt out the pet names?

He snorted and continued his petting, this time with his left rubbing her belly. He wiggled his right hand out from underneath her chin, choosing to avoid finger bent singularity in the form of anchoring her there with his hand grazing her back. This earned him a soft coo at first, her sigh making him want to hear it again. Unfortunately for him, life had other plans.

“Ughh…” he heard her say, before she stirred, scooting closer to his head now (and her forelegs bending closer to herself). He kept himself still, save for his right arm, making sure it was out of the flop-zone this time. He waited for her to decide if it was a great time to wake up.

She pulled away from him and yawned rather loudly before closing her lips unceremoniously. She blinked her blue-ish eyes at him. “A-Anon?”

“Good… morning, I think."

Starlight laughed. “Good morning to you too.” She plopped back onto his chest, nuzzling him all the while. “Seems like you were trying to escape me, weren’t you?”

“Wouldn’t—egh—even dream of it," he replied with a bit of strain.

That made her stop her nuzzling and pop her head right off his chest. "Am I hurting you?"

"Not exactly." He pulled her up closer to his chest with his left arm and smiled. "Just have to maneuver you a bit. You were poking my ribcage."

She let out a brief blow as she brought her muzzle closer to him. "Sorry."

Her little whisper made Anon bring his right arm to her mane, petting it softly. "Nothing to be sorry about, Starlight."

She nuzzled his cheek, which he returned in kind. And then, Starlight did something that Anon didn't expect.

She licked that very same cheek.

“Mine.”

It made Anon take a moment to register the word. Did she have some type of possessiveness that he just found out? Was this a cultural thing? He didn't know, so instead of worrying about it now, he decided to bring his hand closer to her muzzle and cup her cheek. He rubbed it with her thumb and returned her declaration in kind, "Mine.”

She giggled to herself. Music to his ears. “While I’d love to stay like this, I should probably check to see what time it is.”

“You sure?” Anon asked, keeping her there in his grasp. He slowly returned his hand to her neck, which earned him a shiver. “I mean, I’m pretty certain my curtains don’t eat up all the light. If it was sunny out, some of the light would still peer through.”

“While you're probably right, I just want to make sure. If it’s still dark out, I’ll come and lay back down with you, 'kay?”

He sighed and let his left hand fall to the wayside. “Alright…”

“Be right back,” Starlight whispered. He could feel her move for a second, but before she left him, she kissed his cheek in the same spot she had licked it previously. It made Anon's heart skip a beat, and he hoped that his heart wasn't committed to the speed it was now beating at.

While his heart was racing, Anon heard her land haphazardly on all fours. Her hooves had clopped against the floor all at once, which made him laugh at the visual view of it. Then, when he turned his gaze to look over at where he believed she was at. Safe to say, he was right on the money. He watched her horn flare, which bathed her form in a blue neon light. He could see her face now, her pink hairs on her face mixed with a touch of red (she was probably blushing and she didn’t know he could see it now), and he smiled as that mane of hers looked a bit worse for wear (he totally did that to her on purpose). She tilted her head a bit in his direction, confused, only to realize that he could see her now and, in a blink, she was gone in a bunch of blue sparks. He heard her clip-clopping of her hooves again, nearby the door. He could hear the knob creak as it clicked open, and—

“Anon, it’s night time still.”

“Why didn't you just open the curtains?"

He could hear that frustrated snort of hers as she shut the door and locked it with her magic. "Too tired and the door was easier to open."

"Fair enough." He heard her hoofsteps again, click-clacking like tap shoes in motion. "Sounds like we got some time for some pillow talk.”

“Yeah, maybe,” she said. He could hear her come closer to him, but the pitch black shrouded her body. Only a faint enough glow pierced the veil that embraced her horn. “Do you want me to get another candle or?”

“Yeah, it might be a good idea. Don’t want to wake up in the dark and suddenly your ass is in my face.”

“You’re lying about not wanting my flanks in your face.”

He shrugged. “I’m not a fan of getting pink eye.”

Anon raised a brow when her magic burst anew. It was like a bright flash of light that didn't blind him. He could see her everything now. Her face... wow was it flushed red. A deep red of an apple. She also wore her surprise well, if the jaw hanging by a thread was anything to go off of. He could also see her tail a bit as it swished out of control. And she shook a bit, not out of any fear he hoped. Was she okay?

His question was answered when she smacked herself silly with her forehoof. Maybe not. “O-Okay… t-that’s understandable!” She trotted over to one of his nearby dressers, her magic flickering in intensity as he walked to it. She pointed a hoof around the collection of drawers. “Uhhh, are your candles in one of these?”

"Yes," Anon droned.

"Which one?"

"The furthest to the right."

"This one?" She prodded a rather tall one with her hoof.

Anon groaned. "No, the one next to that one.”

“Oh, I didn't even see that one there." She scrunched her muzzle up. "You have too many dressers, Anon.”

“Blame the ponies who were handing them to me for free,” Anon lamely replied. He sat up and swung his legs out, his feet touching the ground. “You need a lighter?”

She shook her head and pointed to her horn, which still was surrounded by her blue aura. “Nope. Magic, remember?”

“Not sure why I even asked." He knew that. "Magic is such a cheat code."

“Only if wielded by some of the best unicorns in Equestria!” she chirped. She opened one of the lower drawers, and bent her neck down to grab what Anon thinks is a candle package. She flung it up and ensnared it in her magic. “There it is!” she said with a smile on her face.

She walked over and floated it over to Anon. “Tag, you’re it.”

He smiled and grabbed the candle package. For some reason, it was in a bag—he didn’t remember that, but hey, no issue for him. Plastic tearing for a guy like him was no problem. He teethed it, tearing part of it up, before ripping the packaging off with his hands. He looked up at Starlight, who was apparently trying to fiddle with the dresser again. “Keep that horn of yours close.”

She turned around to bring her mobile light source closer to him. “Anything else you want?”

That sultry tone made Anon second guess himself. “Other than you? Nope. Just you and the LEDs on your head."

She tilted her head, which moved the light away from the package. “What’s a LED?”

“You don’t need to know. Just know that you need to get closer because you just moved, your blue horn collar is incredibly valuable, and that we have more important fish to fry.”

“FISH?! But Anon we're not... wait, is that one of your human-isms?”

The sudden gasp-shout hybrid made Anon stop himself and wonder if he just lost his hearing. “Test—” He heard himself speak, so he was good. “Okay, yes, that was one of my 'human-isms'. I gotta remember you ponies don’t have many equivalents to them.” He snorted. “Look, just stay there, pretty pony, and this candle opening shindig will be over before you know it.”

Starlight’s eyes widened. “P-Pretty…?”

“Mmhm,” Anon grunted as he ripped open the remaining packaging. He pulled out the candle and looked over—wait, she just magicked it in his own palm, the silver candle stand shimmered in her blue glow. Nice. He placed it on that stand and then made sure the wick wasn’t sagging down. He smirked and then realized he didn’t have his matches. “Uhh, can you get my matches?”

Anon saw her shake her head, making the magic still surrounding her horn blur. He wondered if she was going to break her neck with how fast he was shaking her head, but thankfully, she didn’t break her neck, but Anon swore he saw her eyes roll hard. Then, a flicker, and a box of matches floated in front of him. She gently placed it in his hand, and he flicked the box open. Out slid a match submerged in blue, and it stayed that way until it burst aflame, and the two colors of orange and blue danced before Anon’s eyes, before the blue faded comfortably in his grasp, while the orange continued to burn. He carefully guided that dancing fire to the wick and the candle came alit. And then, Starlight grabbed the candle, ensnared in the sea she wielded, and guided it back home to the stand near the curtain-covered window.

He smiled before blowing the match’s fire out. Then, he watched her, her expression mirroring his, as she trotted up to him.

“Good to finally see you again, horny.”

"Oh shut up and lay back down," Starlight commanded, which Anon more than happily complied, moving the pillow he had to the other side of the couch (better angle on that stupid candle). Once he got himself comfortable, his head laying against the pillow, he watched as she hopped onto the couch. She clambered onto his chest before scooting herself up slowly toward his chin, probably to be mindful of her horn, before she attempted to stand up. Shakily, she towered over him, peering down with those half-lidded eyes of hers. "So...”

Anon brought his hand up to her cheek and cupped it, gently rubbing it with his thumb. "So...?"

"Pillow talk, huh?"

"Yeah..." he whispered. "What about it?"

She leaned in closer, their breath mixing. "Let's skip it. We've got something better to do."

He smirked and brought his hands behind her head. "Gladly."

Anon jolted awake. His eyes widened, scrambling to see what was around him. He flickered those eyes of his, adjusting them to the light, and he cleared his throat. Starlight was not on top of him, which was a not-so-welcome difference to what happened last night. It nearly made him pop off the couch, but he stayed there, momentarily, just to check that stand of his. There wasn’t a note by the candle that he could see. All he knew was that it was still there but without a flame in sight.

Carefully, he got himself off his couch slowly, groaning as he stood up in full. He stretched, being extra mindful of his back. Then, he dusted himself off, and turned to the kitchen to—

Anon stopped as he spied Starlight, who gasped as he most likely came into her vision. Her mane was done up like she always had it, her bed head no longer in sight. Those curls bounced from her sudden recoil. Luckily, her magic hadn't faltered, as she bore a plate and a fork. And on that plate was some... eggs, scrambled, peppered in spice of both kinds, which finally registered Anon’s senses. The steam elevated from the platter, and its smell made his mouth water. He nearly snatched it from her, but she smirked and pulled it away from him.

“Morning, Anon.”

“G’morning,” Anon drowsily replied. He wiped his eyes a bit with his hands, before he let out a ferocious cross between a yawn and a frustrated growl. “You made me breakfast?”

“Us breakfast,” she chirped. “Made you some eggs. Saw you had some in your ice box, and while omnivores usually aren’t who I prep for, Spike sometimes gets a hankering for something other than gems, so I decided 'Why not?' and made some for you. And judging by your reaction, I think I made the right choice.” She flipped her mane from her face before she continued, “But that's not all. I also saw you had some potatoes laying around in your pantry, so I made some hash browns too. Hope your stomach can handle those.”

He licked his lips. “Don't worry, Starlight, I don't collect potatoes as a hobby. My stomach can handle the majority of foods."

"Majority of?"

"Hay isn't something I can digest."

"Wow," Starlight said, letting out a whistle and a half before the plate that held his food was set on the counter behind her. She turned to fiddle with something on the counter. "You're really missing out! Hayfries are the best!"

"I'll take your word for it."

She sighed. "Guess you found out the hard way?"

"Yeah... Fluttershy looked a bit scarred after that." He saw her ears splay against her head momentarily, which made him clear his throat. "Thanks for making breakfast for me, Starlight."

Those ears of hers perked right back when he said that. "It's no problem. After what happened last night? Phew, I think you deserve it!"

Anon's cheeks started to heat up, making him gulp down his nerves. "Well, last night was... something." He could see her tail swish slowly as she started to turn off the stove. "And I'm happy that it happened."

“Just happy?”

She turned to see him, with a little sparkle in her eyes, which made him smile, walk over to her, and bend lower to her level. He, then, planted a kiss on her cheek, before lightly grazing her lips with his. “More than ever.”

“Good answer," Starlight quipped, her smile worn happily while her cheeks betrayed her. She magicked the plate that he attempted to snatch earlier into his open hands. "As they say in Prench, bon appetit, Anon.”

“Sorry, did you just sneeze?"

She giggled her snort into a tizzy and turned tail. “N-No!” She walked over to the counter and grabbed her own plate and fork in her magic. “Just hoping you'll enjoy your food.”

Anon took a seat on the couch again, placing his plate in his lap. He inspected it, and— “Hope? Starlight, this looks incredible.”

He wasn’t lying. The eggs were so fluffy as he cut into them with his fork. Then, he pierced a piece and brought it to his mouth. Safe to say, they tasted amazing. It was like he had ascended into cuisine heaven.

This was it. He made it. He finally made it.

“Based on that reaction, I'm glad you—”

“These are amazing, Starlight!" Anon exclaimed as he stabbed his eggs again, hoping to get another bite. "I hope there's more, I might want seconds already."

She took her seat beside Anon, but didn’t look him in the eye. She was probably embarrassed— “I don’t know how you compliment me so easily. It’s just scrambled eggs.”

He shook his head. "I'm not forcing these out, Starlight. This is really good." He paused to chew a bit more, indulging in his taste buds. He gulped it down and prepped for the next helping. "It's not common for you ponies to cook them let alone eat them, right?”

"Yes to both of those questions,” she replied. Anon spied her plate, absent of eggs but still full of hash and... fruits? Which ice box was that stuff in? “But hey, that doesn't mean we can’t learn how to cook them well from a griffon!”

“And by we, you mean you.”

She twiddled with her forehooves while she chewed her food. “I… Yeah. And Spike helped with taste-testing when I was learning how to make them.”

Anon dug in a bit more, spearing another piece of egg into his mouth. He chewed happily. “Tell him that he’s made me a happy man.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’ll make sure to tell him.”

The two ate in relative silence after that, the two spying glances over at each other. It was great to actually eat with someone close by, not that Anon hadn't done that before. Mayor Mare did have a capacity to share the same lunch as him... every single time. But at home, it was different. It was... a good feeling, especially with someone that he's definitely... definitely fallen for. To think he was going to just befriend her. Pfft.

“Say, Starlight?”

“HmmMm?” She hummed as she chewed her food. “What’s wrong?”

He shook his head. “Nothing. Just… wanted to ask you if you uhh…” Cold feet? Always—Anon roundhouse kicked that thought out of his skull. "W-Wanted to go on a nature walk?”

“A nature walk? Today?"

“Yeah…” Anon sat his plate aside for a moment and looked back over at her. “Take a walk through Sweet Apple Acres' orchards and maybe even go through the Everfree.”

“Trespassing is your forte?"

"Depends on the week—" He saw Starlight's puzzled stare and rolled his eyes while he sporked some more hash browns into his mouth. "Okay, it depends on the day. Besides, we're not trespassing! Applejack said I could visit any time!"

Starlight groaned. "Okay, Mr. Visitor. You're lucky I don't have to go into school today—" Anon mentally fistpumped the air. "—but can we skip the Everfree?"

He raised a brow at her. “Not a fan of adventure?”

She giggled at that and stabbed her hash browns with a bit of a vengeance. “The Everfree is more than just an adventure sometimes. Plus, I've been to a lot of places. Granted, not as much as Twilight, but…”

“I get it. It's not worth it if you've already—”

“That doesn’t mean I’m opposed to it some time in the future. Let’s just... make this an easy day, okay?”

He brought an arm gently around her neck, which made her squeak. “Sounds good, cutie.”

“Anon…” she said with a whine.

“Can’t deny the truth.” He shuffled the last bit of food into his mouth and stood up, his plate in hand. “I’ll clean the dishes. Let me know when you’re done and I’ll swing by to grab that for you.”

She sighed happily. “Sure. I’ll let you know.”

Anon walked into his kitchen and sighed. He put his plate underneath the nozzle, flicked the sink on, and watched as water splashed against his plate.

Why did he feel so wrong in asking her that? What was he, a teenager in high school that was about to ask out his crush that he wasn't sure if they liked him back?

He didn't know. His mind was funny like that. Although, he wasn't laughing, just aimlessly wandering adrift in his noggin.

Anon shook off that world he was in. He could experience it later. Right now, he just needed to wash that plate of his. Then he could imagine a world where Starlight didn't reciprocate and—

He groaned as he began to rub some soap against his plate. He hoped he wasn't going to think this way on their walk in the orchard.

Author's Note

Filler chapter while my Internet decided to have seizures. :twilightsmile:

Credit to Lynser for the blue collar phrase.

Song for this chapter:

Edits completed on January 3rd, 2025.

Where You Go, Oh, I'll Follow

A Totally Natural Nature Walk - Starlight’s Perspective

Starlight hummed to herself as she trotted next to Anon. It was great knowing that she didn’t have to leave his side just yet as this would be her final day of freedom (until next week) and she was really wanting to spend more time with him. She needed to put off those documents that she needed to stack neatly in a pile on her desk for as long as possible to retain her peaceful state of mind. After all, being a headmare for a school brimming with friendship and subsequent chaos (no thanks to Discord) could do anypony’s head in if they weren’t too careful!

Luckily, she had mapped out a plan to stave off this duty of hers.

She sketched it out in her imaginary notebook in her head, lines darting and wiggling all over the place. In-between the lines weaved her actual plan: she’d spend some time walking through the orchard with Anon, only to then cuddle under one of the apple trees and enjoy their time together. She could even imagine a cute little rabbit scurrying across the ground and ask Anon if she could pet it. He’d probably say something goofy like: Starlight, it has rabies, and she would just tell him that he’s dumb and kiss him lightly on the lips before grabbing the rabbit and giving it all the nuzzles it deserved. She also would talk about their future together, watch as the sun began to set, and at the end of it all, she’d give him a peck on his cheek before telling him she’d see him soon. Then she’d gallop straight for the school before the sun set behind the treeline.

It was a perfect plan. Very easy going, with no ponies to interrupt them along the way. Besides, it would be a great day to absorb some sun!

Starlight looked up and grimaced.

If only Celestia’s sun didn’t make Anon a walking pariah that blinded everypony in his vicinity.

Starlight let out a brief blow as she continued her trot, still matching his pace despite those two long legs of his. She spied another glance up at his face, seeing that mark glaring back at her as it basked in the sunlight. His eyes were focused forward, oblivious to her stare. His lips were unmoving and flat, partially like his nose, which wrinkled a bit. The rest of him was smooth, reflecting that sunshine like it meant something. Unfortunately for her, it would only serve as a reminder to look back at the path as she was starting to see spots.

She kept herself forward thinking, her eyes glued to the dirt path ahead. Just what was going on inside Anon’s head?

Mentally, Starlight shrugged at the thought. The mini-her on her shoulder shrugged too, and then dissipated into fuzzy magic sprinkles that she was all too disappointed in seeing them poof out of existence.

If only she could get a read on him… Based on what little she knew, the last time Anon was in his head, things went downhill and fast. He would think about Twilight and how she rejected him, and then he’ll talk about how he felt and how it pained him so much. Starlight didn’t like seeing him in that state of mind. She liked it when he cuddled with her instead on his couch. He could see his loving gaze, his toothy grin as he said something to her so heartfelt. As they had kissed, time became a spell methodically cast on her, her lips sliding with his. She could feel his arm wrap around her midsection, and he let those fingers of his dance on her back, before pulling her into a full-blown make out session like they did last night and—

She gulped that memory away, while in her mind, she waved her hooves frantically trying to change the scenery. Maybe she should keep last night’s escapades under lock and key somewhere. Deeper in the recesses of her mind. That way she could unlock the door when she needed to, for later.

Starlight frowned. She still had to do something about Anon. She didn’t want him so spellbound like he was before!

Hmm…

…

…maybe she could coax something out of him? Like a laugh of some kind?

She could feel her disappointment flatline, her lips forming flat, while a dissatisfied yet soft growl echoed in her ears. Starlight knew she wasn’t a comedian, Trixie told her this several times, so that thought might as well have been dead on arrival. But she needed to do something…

Her eyes widened. She could feel the hairs on her back stand up on end.

It was later.

“Hey, Anon…?”

Those beady eyes looked down on her. “Hmm?”

She smiled, even though on the inside she was as nervous as can be, as she wiggled herself closer to her human, rubbing her side up against his denim-covered leg. “What made you want to go on a nature walk with me?”

As those words escaped her, she could see his lips form into an ‘O’. He then forced them back down and licked his upper lip, which made Starlight’s muzzle shrivel up. What type of reaction was that?

He drew his right hand from his pocket and played with his chin. “No reason, really.”

“Really?” She raised a brow.

“Yeah,” Anon began, sighing. He sniffed a bit and added, “Felt like a good thing to do on a day like this.”

“No other motive?”

He shook his head. “No—er, maybe to do something different. Different is always good.” He looked at her for a moment and smiled. “Right?”

Starlight looked away, her mind processing those words. “Guess so…”

He was definitely hiding something from her. There was no doubt in her mind. But, some part of her thought about him, about that man locked in his house who was alone and afraid, and for some reason, she couldn’t bring herself to find the words she needed to prod him further. She could only take a deep breath and continue to soak up that sun.

Maybe she needed more time. Just like him.

Just like Twilight.

Starlight sighed, her own nerves burdening her spine. The canopies of the trees surrounded them, unlike the ones they were going to ‘visit’. The ones that dotted the world around them, typically taller, interweaved with the bristles of thorns of the bushes. Leaves scattered on the ground, mingling with the grass fenced off of entry. The dirt beneath her hooves crunched with each step she took. She kept her head held somewhat high, but her gaze fell to the wayside, just like before, which is why she took in the world around her, to distract her from whatever this feeling was.

This wasn’t what she expected. They weren’t even in the orchard yet and she already felt some imaginary tension. Was this normal? She hadn’t been in a real relationship before, and navigating this with someone like him added an even more distant element to it.

Frustrated, she pursed her lips, let out a little growl that was lodged in her throat, and—

“Hey, Starlight?”

She stopped herself from glaring at him. She felt her eyes widen, but she kept herself in tact as she tried to crack a smile, even though her ears were probably spasming uncomfortably.

Still, she croaked out a response, “Yeah, Anon?”

Those words left her and it was like time slowed. Anon’s flat expression remained the same, but his gait became slow, just like hers. She could slowly feel the tenseness trickle down her spine like the water dripping into his kitchen sink, and she was worried he was going to say something that would completely be lockstep with the negativity that swirled inside her just a few moments ago. Now, it stayed still, presenting her a metaphorical edge of a cliff, looking down at a valley of a gravesite.

She nearly whimpered. She needed to stay strong. For Anon’s sake—

“Do you eat grass?”

Suddenly, the grave looked like an entry to a circus.

Her brows slightly furrowed. “No?”

She blinked rather rapidly. Why was he asking her that? Yeah, ponies ate grass, but not off the ground! Only those ones who want to return to tradition or something… Besides, nopony knew what was walking on those blades of grass! It was unsanitary. And the one time she did try it raw, it had this particular taste that… well… didn’t sit right with her stomach.

For some reason, though, Anon tilted his head. Why was he looking at her like that? Did she have grass growing on her head? “You don’t?”

“N-No? Why would we—”

“Why are you hesitating?”

“I don’t know!” Starlight said-shouted. “I’m just… startled. I’ve never been asked this before.”

She watched as he hummed to himself again, grabbing his chin with a hand. He kept it there for a few moments, messaging his chin and pursing his lips. Then, he stopped, closed his eyes for a moment, and then, when he opened them, a very pronounced smirk graced his face. “So when do you eat grass?”

Starlight groaned. “Anon, I don’t like grass. It hurts my stomach.”

He tilted his head the other way this time. “It does?”

“Yeah.” Just thinking about it was making her stomach gurgle. “I try to avoid it unless it’s the only thing that’s around to eat.”

Anon pointed a finger at her. “But you’re—”

“Herbivores, I know,” Starlight began, waving a hoof at her human. “But just because we eat plants doesn’t mean we eat all plants. You won’t see me or any pony eating raw grass because it grew too long or something.”

“Can’t blame me for thinking otherwise,” he replied, looking back at the path.

Rolling of the eyes. That’s what Starlight gave him and a sneer for his comments. “Funny. Next you’ll say we graze in fields.”

Anon, to her surprise, chuckled. She glared at him, but that didn’t stop the laughs from funneling out of him. “I-It’s just too good o-of a mental picture!”

His chuckles drew out belly laughs that made Starlight wonder if she should stop first, let him get it all out of his system, and then circle back to the topic at hoof, but then she realized this was Anon she was talking about. The human. The one who was goofy when he was happy, the one who could be absolutely upset with the world when he was sad, and the one who she met to befriend but accidentally fell head over hooves over with him.

…

She let out a sharp whine, before growling and harrumphing. She’ll let him have it this time, but not without a well-deserved return.

She smiled and continued walking beside him, but she changed her gait to a much more slow trot, like she was observing the scenery around her. Progressively, the distance grew between them. He hadn’t noticed yet. His feet carried him farther ahead, one foot in front of the other. The change in his height became more apparent with each step he took, especially when he turned at a fence post that led to the apple orchard closest to Ponyville. From the angle she had, she saw him barely miss the sign with his head as he walked past. Ramming head first into a fence post with directions marked in white paint would’ve definitely not tickled him. Not that those colors mattered. Just an observation.

Sighing, Starlight continued her trot behind him. She didn’t exhale so softly because he failed in the department of checking if she was there. No, she had a different reason to do so. Her heart told her so, and she wasn’t very happy that she left him on an island all on his own. A trot turned into a canter, directed towards him. She needed to stop this, she had her little fun. She just hoped that this little ‘well-deserved return’ wouldn’t bite her in her rump later. Just like if the Apple Family saw the two of them in their orchard. Mr. Visitor here probably didn’t consider that this whole part of Sweet Apple Acres was off-limits, but Starlight hoped the Apples already cleared this part of the farm. She didn’t want to deal with an angry Applejack.

Starlight shook that thought of her head and looked up at one of the nearby apple trees that greeted them. She saw that her hopes and dreams were crushed by a few happy apples attached to the trees’ branches.

“Looks like the apples haven’t fallen yet, huh?”

Anon’s voice had peeked through the brush. She snorted and spotted her human. “Glad you noticed I wasn’t near you.”

“Sorry,” he muttered, turning back to check on her. His gaze flickered right back to the trees. “Didn’t know I was getting tested on this date.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t mark you down a grade just yet.” She giggled her snort into a tizzy of magic and happiness, bundled by the bushel. Her hooves tickled by the blades of grass bristling under them. “You’re lucky you’re my type, Anon.”

He turned to her again, only half of his face visible to her. She could see his smug expression, his lips showing those pearly whites of his. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“And don’t you forget it,” Starlight teased, flicking her tail against his pant leg. She smiled as he let out a little chuckle. “You’re right though. Looks like none of the Apples have been over here just yet.”

Internally, those words kept her on her toes, but she couldn’t show it to Anon. He didn’t need him to be alarmed.

“Is that…”

“A bad thing?”

He nodded. “Means Miss Jackie Daniels could be working right now.”

“Who?” Starlight asked, tilting her head.

Anon facepalmed. “Forgot, you don’t know I give some ponies random nicknames.”

“Just a you thing?”

“Makes it a little less tense.”

Starlight felt her heart race a bit. Right… “R-Right…”

Anon gulped. “Think Applejack would be on this side of the property?”

“Maybe. We probably shouldn’t be worrying about her this much.”

“Why?”

Starlight smiled and trotted ahead of him. She bounced around, bucking her back legs out just to twirl. The world gently blurred around her, but she could hear the trees respond through a gust of wind that left a few travelers to drift down toward her.

Then, she stopped, almost perfectly. A smirk shot over at her human, who was staring at her intensely. “Because we have a lot to enjoy out here, don’t we? Why worry when we have all this to look at?”

At first, Anon stayed there, spellbound. Then, his mouth unhinged a bit, just for a moment, before he closed it and walked toward her. He wrapped a hand around her back. “You’re right, we do.” He kept his arm there, while his lips curled upward. “In that case, I’ll take us to this spot I know, and then we can lay down and relax, okay?”

She wanted to ask him how he knew of a spot, but she knew it would be answered in due time, so she nuzzled into his leg, letting out an excited whinny. “Sounds great, Anon.”

That’s all it took for Anon to lead her through the maze of the orchard. They walked in-between rows of trees, up a hill, and even down into a valley still dotted with all these apple trees. Just how big was this orchard again?

That question couldn’t be even quantified yet—the hill they just traversed was an example of that. Even with its slope, trees made residence there, and now with her hooves planted at the top, she could see that she severely misunderstood what Applejack’s world was like.

Up there was a tree. A large tall tree, with its base tendrils spread out. The canopy of the singular tree snuffed out some rows, while the rest escaped and grew outside its bounds. Those sprouted some apples, from what she could tell, while this one stood there happily soaking in all the sunlight it could get.

She looked over at Anon, panting a bit. He saw him too, gasping for air, hunched over with his knees palmed in his hands. They stood there recovering for a few moments more, her mind drifting like the clouds above, some fluffy, some small. The wind carried them overhead, just like a periodic gust grazed over the leaves and the apples too.

Starlight sucked in a deep breath and licked her lips. Then, she glanced over at him. He was doing the same, but his eyes were centered not on the big tree like she thought. No, there was one on the edge, different from the rest of the apple trees too. A pocket formed around, where none grew except this one, and its little coverage meant something that Starlight knew all too well.

He wanted to lay there, didn’t he?

She blinked, and suddenly she felt Anon’s presence near her, her ears perking up to the sounds of his shoes skirting between the leaves and the grass.

“Mind taking a load off over there?”

She looked up at him and grinned, pointing a forehoof at the much bigger tree. “You don’t want to lay under this big one?”

He snorted. “There’s a difference between being with nature and being smothered by it.”

“Pfft, I see what you mean.” She eyed the smaller one further, and saw it had just enough room for them to flop down and cuddle next to it. “This one seems perfect, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah…” he muttered. He wasn’t looking at the tree. He was looking right at her.

She felt a distinct heat pierce her cheeks, and it definitely wasn’t the sun. She looked away and saw the view that they had. On top of this hill, she could see everything. The orchards, Sweet Apple Acres, and everything in-between. It was… breathtaking. Something she hadn’t done in years—she couldn’t recall a time that she just took in nature like this.

And then she felt Anon’s hand graze her back. It took all of her willpower to not let out a soft coo.

“Taking it all in?”

“Yeah…” She turned and faced him. Surprisingly, he had already sat down, laying his back against the tree’s trunk with no problem at all. His legs were folded inward, creating a pocket for her to lay in.

“Well, you can enjoy it more by laying down right here.”

He patted the little spot he made just for her.

“You’re right,” she said with a giggle. She plopped herself down gently, being extra mindful of Anon’s groin (she didn’t need him maimed). She curled into him and rested her forehooves where his legs were extended somewhat out, staring out at the expanse in front of her.

She sighed and laid her head on her forehooves. “Thanks for taking me out here, Anon.”

She could feel his fingers play with her mane. “I should be thanking you for going along with this sudden walk, Starlight.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” she asked, craning her head back at him.

“We have an image to maintain, don’t we?”

She let out a brief blow for that one. “Don’t remind me. Even though you probably should.”

“Which is why I said it,” he said with a chuckle.

“Good thing. I almost forgot about it.” Kind of a lie. “That’s what happens when you feel like this.”

Anon stayed silent.

“Anon?”

“Hmm?”

“You think she’ll sneak up on us?”

“Who?”

“Applejack,” she whispered.

He rolled his eyes. “Maybe. Apple horse can be stealthy when she wants to be.”

Starlight giggled. “Just hope she doesn’t have her lasso.”

“I—” Anon interrupted himself with a grunt and wrinkled his nose. “I’ll count the seconds then.”

He tapped her side, which made her roll over to see more of him. However, in her scooting and shuffling, she didn’t know that this would expose more of her belly to him, which Anon was definitely looking at, eyes wide as can be.

She smiled. She had to tease him. “See something, Anon?”

Anon shook his head rather rapidly, before trying desperately (and failing miserably) to look elsewhere. His cheeks turned a faint red. “I-I wasn’t…” he managed to stammer out, but his words fell to his side. He gulped and added, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

“Don’t apologize,” Starlight replied, inched closer to his other side now. She nuzzled into him, wrinkling his shirt. “Good to know you’re just like a stallion.”

He blinked. “Is that some dig at me?”

She shook her head and pecked his cheek. “No, not at all.”

He looked elsewhere, but a hand reached out to scratch one of her ears. She leaned into it, humming to herself while he massaged that ear. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

He sighed and nuzzled her cheek. “For being you.”

“Could throw that right back at you,” she responded, returning the nuzzle. “I’m honestly happy I came here with you. We needed this little alone time away from my place. It was getting…”

She stopped herself, her thought dying on the hill she was on. It was like the words didn’t want to come out. She knew what she wanted to say. But all she could think about was last night and—

“It was getting too much, wasn’t it?”

She blinked. “You too?”

He sighed. “Last night was… a lot.” He let out a nervous chuckle. “And seeing what I saw earlier…”

“It wasn’t intentional, just know that.”

“Good to know,” Anon said dryly. “Not that I didn’t like either of them, but…” She could see him take a moment to swallow whatever saliva he had. “We crossed a few boundaries, didn’t we?”

“We did.”

A cloud drifted on by.

“And are you okay with that?”

Starlight’s muzzle wrinkled up at that. “Sorta.”

“Sorta?” Anon asked with a raised brow.

“Mmhmm. Last night was wonderful, but…”

“It’s too early.”

“That and we nearly—”

Anon flinched. “I know. We nearly did it on my couch.” She let out a giggle, which made her human tilt his head. “What’s so funny?”

“N-Nothing!” It wasn’t nothing. She was imagining him getting grabby again, and for some reason, visualizing Applejack saying ‘Down, Mr. Handsy!’ made her burst out laughing inside her head.

“You’re lying.”

She stifled a giggle, but it escaped anyway. “I’m sorry—”

“Don’t be. It better make me laugh, though, otherwise I get to tickle you.”

“I’m not sure if you’ll laugh. Probably will be too horrified to do anyth—”

“What were you imagining just now?” Anon said with a raised brow.

She twiddled with her forehooves. “Has anypony ever called you Mr. Handy?”

Those same brows now furrowed in tandem. “No?”

“How about Mr. Handsy?”

“No.”

“Mr. Hands On?”

“Oh God no.”

Starlight chuckled. “That’s all you need to know, then.”

His eyes widened. “Are you implying—”

“It would be funny though!”

He groaned. “Starlight, that’s wrong on so many levels.”

She burst out laughing. “Come on! Applejack walks up to you and she just starts—” A giggle-snort escaped her. “S-Starts calling you that and you just go—”

“She wouldn’t call me that!”

“Oh? Then what would she call you?”

…

“Mous, maybe.”

“She doesn’t call you Anon?”

“Rarely,” Anon said with a shrug. “Usually to try and sound more authoritative, I guess. I did work for her for a little while, that’s why I can come here anytime I want.”

She scooted closer to his chest and laid her head down, watching the world around them pass by. “Another thing to know about you.”

He brought his hand down on her mane, his fingers flowing through them. “Guess so.”

She closed her eyes, took in a deep breath, and snuggled deeper into him. “Do you think we should start over?”

The words left her before she could even consider them. And now that they were out there, she wondered if he heard her.

She peeked up at him. His hand had stopped moving, staying in place while he watched her, frozen.

Suddenly, time stood still.

“A-Anon?”

“No. No, don’t even suggest that.”

“Don’t suggest it?”

“Yeah, no, that’s the last thing I’d want.”

She blinked rapidly. “Then what do we do?”

He cupped her cheek and scratched her chin. “You stay right here.”

“That simple?”

“Mmhm…” he hummed. He kept his fervor on her chin, before lowering it down to her neck. She cooed and smiled at him. “I don’t want you to ever think this was wrong. It wasn’t. We just…” He took a deep breath. “We almost went way too far, twice—oh don’t look at me like that. Your little accident doesn’t count—all we need to do is learn how to take it slow.”

“Slow how?”

He shrugged. “Let’s not stay at my place at the end of this one.”

She rolled her eyes. “So you’re saying you don’t want to make out here?”

Chuckling, Anon shook his head in disbelief. “Let’s schedule that a few months from now.”

“A few months from now? That works for me,” she sang, pecking him on the cheek. She let her head fall against his leg. She watched the world around her and Anon drift. Just like the clouds above, just like the winds pushing them, just like the trees swaying in the breeze, just like everything here.

She closed her eyes.

A little nap wouldn’t hurt.

She woke up to the sound of rustling.

“A-Anon?”

“Shh…” His voice carried a bit of anxiousness with it, making her shoot up suddenly, her head popping off… from wherever it was.

She rubbed her eyes and craned around the corner, only to stifle a gasp as she caught a tired, hazy glimpse of somepony. Somepony familiar.

“Thought I heard somethin’ up here…”

Applejack. That voice, and that stetson on her head was unmistakable. She was here. What in the hay was she looking for? Was she looking for them?

Starlight held her forehooves close to her chest, while she still laid in that pocket that Anon made for her with his folded legs. He shimmied them closer to the tree, hoping that it covered even the spill over of her tail from Applejack’s view.

“Consarn it!” A pained whiny sounded off. “Probably some critter makin’ a fuss. I don’t got time to be messin’ with all this.” A grunt soon followed. “If this was some kind of prank from Rainbow Dash, I’ll ring her feathers!”

Starlight and Anon stayed there, still as can be. Anon had his arms wrapped around her, while she kept herself against his chest.

Slowly, hoofsteps retreated away from their spot. They could still hear Applejack grumbling, but it wasn’t as loud as it was before:

“If anypony's in this tree, I’ll make sure you’ll feel it!”

A loud crack echoed in the air.

At first, nothing replied. Just the breathing of two totally-not-about-to-run-for-their-lives creatures as they cuddle under one of two non-apple trees in the immediate area.

And then, a second kick, followed by a gasp and a sudden thud.

“Hay! What’s the big idea, Applejack?”

Starlight gasped. “Rainbow Dash—”

Anon cupped his hand around her. He hushed her once more, even though her voice was not even that loud. She was whispering. Applejack didn’t have that good of hearing!

“Big idea? I’m not the philosopherin’ type!”

“What?”

…

“AJ, you kicked me out of a tree!”

“Sure did. Gotta stop you from eatin’ my merchandise!”

Starlight felt her hairs sticking up on end. Nervously sitting there, fidgeting in Anon’s embrace. Meanwhile, she tried to restrain herself from laughing. She couldn’t believe Applejack just suddenly kicked a tree and Rainbow Dash was up there—wait how long was she up there?

“I was sleeping!”

“Clearly dreamin’ something fierce enough to sink your teeth into one of these while soundin’... whatever noises you were makin’. Were you fightin’ a manticore up there?”

A groan, this time from what sounded like Rainbow Dash, echoed in Starlight’s ears.

“I just… got to the good part of my dream!”

“That was the good part?”

“Ugh, AJ!”

“I’m just sayin’! Mare-to-mare, you sounded awful. What the hay were you dreamin’ about that made you sound like that?”

“I’m glad you asked! I was doing this ultra-cool Buccaneer Blaze into a tight Wingtip Flip in this arena the Wonderbolts were performing at, and you know me, being awesome as usual, I had to show them who was boss. When I was done with the trick, everypony around me was cheering, and I think Spitfire grinned at me or something while flying by me. Anyway, that’s not the point! As I was flying up, I suddenly had this great idea to do a fallback, which, while it wasn’t in the routine, I just had to do it! So, I flipped around and flew straight down to the ground, and then I saw somepony…”

“Somepony? Wonder who that coulda been!” Suddenly, Applejack yelped in southern. “What was that for?!”

“Returning the favor!” Rainbow Dash growled before she continued, “So anyway, I saw Soarin’ and—”

Starlight peered back up to Anon. She was welcomed by his own gaze looking down at her. She blinked a bit, before whispering to him,

“Wanna leave?”

He gently nodded. “Before they see us.”

His whispering tickled her ears. She slowly got up and backed away from him so he could unfold himself too. Once Anon got up, she returned back to him again, standing as close as they could.

Starlight looked around the tree again, just to see if they were still there, arguing with each other. She peered and—

“Gotcha!”

Applejack happily shouted as she hopped around the corner to see Starlight and Anon being super close together. Starlight gasped and huddled closer to Anon’s leg.

“Wow, you weren’t lying, AJ!”

Rainbow Dash flapped her wings and landed right beside Applejack, who was glaring at her like she was about to throw her hat at her. “Lyin’? Me? If I lied, I’d probably lose my element!”

“Oh puh-lease! Telling a half-truth is not the same as telling a lie, AJ. You tell those when you gotta!”

“It’s still half a lie, featherbrain!” She furrowed her brows at the ‘featherbrain’. “I avoid those too. I’m an expert on being honest, and I can tell any type of lie just by lookin’ at ya and—”

Starlight looked back up at Anon, who just facepalmed and was now letting out a frustrated groan. “Agh, alright, enough! Can you two ladies do what you actually wanted to do instead of bickering like an old lesbian couple?”

The two froze and sighed simultaneously, Rainbow Dash fluttering her wings before folding them against her sides. Applejack, on the other hoof, let out a cross between a trill and a growl. “You make a good point, Mous. We’ll stop delayin’.”

Starlight raised a brow and Anon patted her mane. “See, I told you she calls me Mous!”

“Of course I do—” Starlight interrupted Applejack with a flash of her horn. “Alright, put the magic away, Starlight.” Applejack let out a neigh as Starlight muted her magic. Sighing, Applejack continued, “I was just searchin’ for whatever was chompin’ on some of the apples we had in the trees. Thought it was a squirrel, but it turns out it was Rainbow Dash teething one while she slept.” She gestured a hoof to Starlight and Anon. “You two talkin’ wasn’t what I heard initially.”

Rainbow Dash frowned. “Yeah…” She tilted her head. “Were you two resting up here too?”

Starlight anxiously laughed. “Y-Yeah. Right, Anon?”

Anon rubbed the back of his head with his other hand. “Yeah. Just… resting.”

Applejack blinked at them like a strobe light at a crazy Pinkie Pie party. “Uhhh… Dash, do you buy that?”

“No,” Rainbow Dash said dryly, shaking her head. “Not even a bit.”

Anon peered down at her. “Looks like the jigs up, Starlight.”

She gulped her nerves and sighed. “Guess so—eep!”

Anon pulled Starlight close, causing her to fall into him. She looked back up at him, seeing his face as determined as it could be. And with a deep breath, he announced:

“We’re dating.”

…

Starlight’s eyes darted between Rainbow Dash and Applejack. They weren’t the types to talk about dating other ponies, so she didn’t know how they’d react and—

“What?!”

Gobsmacked. Rainbow Dash’s wings were extended outward, a blush smeared on her face, while Applejack’s jaw was hanging fairly low, which she tried picking up with one of her forehooves but was desperately flailing at her muzzle instead.

Starlight hid behind her forehooves.

How could this get any worse?

Author's Note

Four drafts during two weeks. I hate how long this took. I think that trip I had really took the writing spirit out of me or something. Idk. Back on track though. Hope you all enjoy this one!

Oh, and sex tag added to cover my ass. Last ones have been pretty suggestive, but no actual sex has happened so... just as an fyi. Noting this in the desc too.

Song for this chapter:

Edits completed on January 3rd, 2025.

Come Close And Keep Your Eyes On Me

This Just Got Worse, Didn’t It? - Starlight’s Perspective

“I didn’t know Anon was on the market!”

That’s what graced Starlight’s ears shortly after Anon’s declaration. She didn’t know whether to blush or clip that mare’s wings. Those words she had scratchily shouted echoed on that hilltop for anypony for miles to hear. Starlight’s stomach flipped and her ears twitched uncontrollably. The world that she feared now reared its ugly head right in front of her.

And all she could do was watch. Her glare honed in on them. She hoped they wondered why she was looking at them like this. The answer was obvious. At least, it should be.

Anon raised a brow. “Where were you when I first arrived?”

Rainbow Dash tilted her head, tapping her chin with a hoof. “Uhhh…” Her muzzle scrunched up, before she gasped. “I was training with the Wonderbolts at the time!”

“Really?”

An ecstatic nod by Rainbow Dash contrasted Applejack’s whoop and holler. “Yep, and after all that trainin’, she’d come right back over to the farm and nap in my trees!”

“You wish, AJ!” she replied, sticking her tongue out.

“That ain’t a wish, featherbrain. That’s actually what happened!”

Anon rolled his eyes. “Glad you two are in high spirits.”

“And we’re glad you are too, Mous.” Applejack tilted her hat towards him. “Say, I got a question now that you’ve said whatcha said.”

“Shoot,” Anon began with a grin. “Can’t be worse than what Miss Wonderbolt said.”

Starlight felt a tugging at her lips. She held them back, she wouldn’t say a word. Not without telling Anon that he wasn’t good at betting, but that would quickly move into shoving those two away. She couldn’t do that.

Besides, this whole situation could definitely be worse, but Applejack wasn’t the type of mare who would be raunchy, right? She would probably wash Apple Bloom’s mouth out with soap if she ever said a single word of profanity! Right. She would never—

“Did you two do it already?”

—say… heh. Ehhh?!

Starlight’s eyes widened. “Applejack!”

“What, Starlight? I didn’t—”

She was about to unleash her wrath. Magical energy surged through her horn, bubbling like a boiling pot of water on a stove, yet Anon’s laughter dispelled her anger. Starlight took a deep breath as she watched her man clutch his stomach, keeling over in hysterics. He fell against the tree, nearly clunking his head on its trunk, but he barely missed it (thankfully, she wasn’t wanting to take a pitstop to the clinic). He kicked his legs out and leaned on the tree. “O-Oh my God, A-Apple—PFFT!” He spat out part of his laugh and took a few deep breaths. “Wow, I was… not expecting that!”

Rainbow Dash flapped her wings and hovered in the air. “You should have! After all, she’s the princess of no filter.”

The blue foreleg pointing towards Applejack made Starlight’s anger quell to a low simmer. She can put Rainbow Dash’s wing clipping on hold for now. Starlight had a new target, one with a stetson and a poor excuse of a filter.

“Excuse you? Honesty means havin’ no filter? Don’t ya put a cloud over my head and tell me it’s about’a rain! It was just a question!”

Anon furrowed his brows, now sitting on the ground. “Yes and my foot up your pie hole is just a response.”

Rainbow Dash tilted her head at Anon. “Uhhh, Anon? She’s already part Pie. How’s a hole going to change that?”

Starlight facehooved. She needed to stop watching and take action. This was getting ridiculous!

“Alright everypony, let’s put the filter on this time.” She stood by his side and nuzzled him happily. Then, with a smirk, she turned her attention back to the two snoopers. “This man is off the market, and neither of you need to know about that part of our lives.”

Starlight watched as they both were about to open their mouths, but she flared her horn, which made Rainbow Dash sigh, while Applejack took a second to compose herself.

“Good,” Starlight said with a confident smirk (she hoped it was) on her face. “Now ask some actual questions.”

“But my question was—”

“Applejack, I will hurl you and your dignity back to the farm if you even attempt to finish that sentence!”

As those words escaped her, Starlight saw Applejack’s head hang low, before she gave the most pitiful nod in all of Equestria. Was Starlight being too harsh with her?

Rainbow Dash, on the other hoof, wasn’t worried about Starlight’s spat. She just smiled (somewhat shakily) before she spoke, “So… uh, when did you two start dating?”

Starlight looked over at Anon, who was preparing himself to answer. She rolled her eyes. The poor guy was going to say something that would make him look worse than he was. She didn’t want him to stutter himself into a corner that he couldn’t crawl out of!

She cleared her throat and smiled at Rainbow Dash. “A few days ago.”

Those pink eyes grew a bit and she leaned in with that annoying smirk of hers. “Ooooonly?”

“Yes, only a few days ago, Rainbow Dash,” Starlight said with a punctuated eye roll. “We’re trying to figure all this out.”

“I didn’t know figurin’ things out involved trespassin’ on an orchard.”

Applejack’s comment struck a chord with Starlight. She sighed. “Heh, it was more of his idea—” She pointed a hoof square at Anon’s chest. “—but blaming him only would be dishonest of me, considering I liked the idea once we got here.”

One of his eyebrows rose to the occasion. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

She chuckled nervously behind her forehoof. “I-It means you convinced me that we should do this again sometime!” Starlight felt Applejack’s glare roam among the hairs on her back. “With Applejack’s permission, of course.”

Anon snorted. “Surprised that she’s even giving us grief.”

“Givin’ ya grief? Anon, if I knew you two were comin’, I would’a left ya alone!”

“You were the one that told me that it was okay to stop by anytime.”

She let out a frustrated growl, followed by a frown that smeared across her face. “I sure did…”

“Besides,” Anon began as he threw his arm around Starlight, pulling her towards him. “Living life on the edge is more fun anyway.”

Starlight squeaked as she flopped into him, luckily not slamming into his leg. She leaned into him, nuzzling into his stomach. “Don’t I know it.”

She felt him pulling her upward, before nuzzling his cheek with hers. She cooed and closed her eyes. It was wonderful, knowing that she had someone like him around to complement her. She just wished that the situations they got themselves into weren’t so… intense.

She opened her eyes and felt his hand pat the top of her head. “A-Anon?”

He tousled with her mane, before giving her a grin. “Look at ‘em.”

Starlight looked back over at the two. Rainbow Dash was looking elsewhere, and Applejack was… not. She was a bit flustered, red in the face. Would it be safe to say that they didn’t have anypony else like Starlight did in their lives? Probably.

“Allergic to us, Rainbow Dash?”

Starlight’s comment spurred the mare’s wings to flap uncontrollably. “N-No! It’s just…” She pursed her lips and pouted. She sat on her haunches for a moment and only spared a few glances at Applejack, who had been staring at her out of concern. Once their eyes met, Applejack rolled hers and shook her head.

“Since she’s a bit tongue-tied, I’ll help her out. It’s a mite bit strange seein’ you two together.”

“Strange in a bad way?” Starlight asked with a sheepish grin.

She watched as Applejack took a deep breath. “Maybe strange was the wrong word. Maybe different is better.” She let out a brief blow. “I don’t know. Most ponies didn’t expect you two bein’ together because ya didn’t speak to each other much. And now seein’ you both like this, so openly… it’s somethin’ else, really.”

Starlight frowned. Applejack was right. Starlight hadn’t been there for Anon ever prior to this whole relationship, prior to even her knocking on his door. She had been so absorbed in her friendship with others that she didn’t get to see him, at least on her own. Sometimes he was there when he could, but most of the time, he was doing something else.

Now with him by her side, Starlight was regretting not talking to him before all of this happened. Maybe she could have prevented his falling out with Twilight.

…

Oh who was she kidding? That wouldn’t happen. She would’ve accelerated it or caused everything to go skyward, and she wasn’t a fan of flying without a pair of wings. She needed to just—

“Starlight?”

Anon’s voice took her out of her own headspace. She blinked a bit as she looked at him, getting him into focus. He saw his concern, how his lips twitched a little while his arms were around her barrel. She scooted over a bit and sheepishly grinned.

“Sorry, I was in my head there.”

“Didn’t know what I said had some weight,” Applejack said with a smirk. “Seems like you two need some time to think things over, huh?”

Starlight nodded. “Yes, Applejack. We do. Could we—”

Applejack held a hoof up and waved her off. “No need. Rainbow and I will get out of your mane.”

“But, AJ, they didn’t—” Rainbow Dash began, only to get interrupted by Applejack’s hoof booping her on her nose. “Hey!”

“Come on, Snores-A-Lot. Let’s head back to the farm. Knowin’ you, you’re probably hungrier than an Apple after a long day in the fields.”

“Am not!” Rainbow Dash said, furling her wings to her sides. Did she not care about the nickname? She harrumphed and continued, “I ate a big breakfast and—”

As if on cue, a loud rumbling echoed in their ears. Anon held Starlight close. Applejack held onto her hat. And Rainbow Dash… well, she—

“Okay, maybe I’m lying and I’m really really hungry.”

Applejack was the first to crack. She started with a chuckle, before laughing like there was no tomorrow. Meanwhile, Starlight fell further into Anon, giggling uncomfortably as she nuzzled further into him. Anon absorbed the contact, his back hitting the tree, but he smiled and laughed too, matching her giggle-snorts. The three laughed and laughed, until Starlight looked up at Rainbow Dash.

All she saw was a spattering of red on the puffed-up mare’s cheeks. Before Starlight could even mutter an apology, Anon made himself known:

“Did you eat a whole nother pony, Skittles?”

Rainbow Dash glared at him. “Stop calling me that!”

Anon smirked. “Why? Do you hate tasting the rainbow?”

She smacked her forehoof against her forehead. “I’m going to—”

“Alright, you two. I’m steppin’ in before somepony knocks themselves out with a concussion.” Another Rainbow glare, this time directed at Applejack. “Oh you’ll live! Look, we’re burnin’ daylight and I know when you’re hankerin’, you’re hankerin’.”

“Alright, alright. Sheesh, some ponies…” Rainbow Dash replied, shaking her head. She looked over at Anon and Starlight with a sheepish smile. “Even though you don’t deserve it after calling me Skittles, I… I’m sorry about all of this. You two have fun.”

Starlight got up and approached her friend. “You don’t need to apologize, Rainbow Dash. No pony was at fault and—”

“Just felt like saying it after we… stumbled upon you two.”

Rainbow Dash’s side glance at Applejack made Starlight stifle a chuckle. “It was bound to happen,” Starlight said, before wrapping a foreleg around Rainbow Dash. “You might want to avoid eating apples though.”

“Ain’t that the truth!” Applejack piped up.

“I’ll still sneak one in away,” Rainbow Dash said with a smirk. She carefully returned the hug with her wing. Once they parted ways, she shook herself off and turned to Applejack. The two began walking down the hill.

It was nice to know that they accepted them without even having to say it and—

“Oh, wait! Applejack? Rainbow Dash?”

The two ponies turned around almost in sync. “Yeah?” They paused and laughed to themselves, knowing they also just responded at the same time.

“Don’t tell anypony, okay?”

Applejack raised a brow. “Why do you—”

“Just… not yet. We’re—”

“Figurin’ things out. We know.” Applejack looked over at Rainbow Dash, who was looking at her nervously. “We promise right, Rainbow Dash?”

Rainbow Dash nodded and waved a forehoof in front of her muzzle, almost as if she was zipping her mouth up. She wasn’t Pinkie, though, so there wasn’t an actual zipper. “I promise,” Rainbow Dash added.

Starlight let out a sigh she was holding onto. “Thanks, girls.”

“You’re welcome!" They both chirped, before sparing a smile at each other.

Starlight watched as they turned tail and walked back through the orchard, talking about something… she couldn’t hear them that well as they trotted further in. Something about… a rose?

She snorted and turned back to—

“Hey.”

Anon was right next to her, grabbing onto her and pulling her back over to where they were sitting. Then, he plopped himself down and then placed her right between his legs, her back up against his chest. Somehow, someway, Anon had done this all in one singular motion. How? She didn’t know. Maybe Anon had the power of magic in him after all. Or he was just that fast.

She looked up at him and saw how his face glistened in the sunlight.

“Hey…”

She felt his hand go through her mane again. “Good job not burning them to a crisp.”

She giggled and sighed. “Thanks, but they made it really hard not to at first.”

“I bet,” he said, before clearing his throat. She looked up at him and tilted her head, but he booped her muzzle instead, making her eyes go cross. He knew that she hated that, but Starlight knew he didn’t care all too much about that. It was part of their relationship. And that was fine, for now.

“Say, Starlight?”

“Hmm?”

“You think we could…”

“Could what?” she asked, her ears standing on end.

She could hear him lick his lips. “Do you think we could stay up here for a while longer?”

“A while longer?”

He resumed petting her mane, which made her coo in response. “I mean… like, until sunset. It’s perfect up here.”

She nuzzled into his stomach. “Maybe. I might have to leave a little early though.”

“You might?”

She twiddled with her forehooves. “Got work tomorrow, and I have to make sure my office doesn’t look like a pigsty.”

Anon looked down at her as she met his gaze, the two sharing a brief smile. “Did you leave it like that on purpose?”

She laughed. “No, I didn’t! I swear.”

He pursed his lips. “Well if you didn’t, then I guess it’s okay.”

“Sounding clingy, Anon?”

That escaped her way too quickly. She didn’t even think before— “No, just… wondering if I should help you out.”

“Help… me?”

He tilted his head at her. “Is that illegal?”

“No, Anon—”

“Do I smell like rotten eggs?”

“No, you smell like a five star restau—”

“Does my face look funny?”

He was looking funny with his tongue sticking out. “No! Look, Anon, it’s not you physically or… whatever the books say.”

“Then what—”

“I just didn’t expect you to want to help me.”

Now he really tilted his head at her. If he tilted any further, his neck would snap and she was not a fan— “Of course I would! Why wouldn’t I?”

Starlight knew why. She hadn’t been there for him before this all happened. She was so busy with her other friends that she couldn’t make time for him. Why would he spend extra time with her?

“Starlight—”

“Why would you want to help me?”

He hummed to himself for a moment before giving her mane another tousle. She needed to fix it later, it was probably all over the place now! “Because you’re you.”

Her muzzle wrinkled up at that one. “I don’t get it.”

He laughed and pulled her further against him. “You’ve spent so much time helping me get back on my feet that I’m obligated to do this with you. I mean, what have I done for you?”

“Plenty, you’re my stallion and—”

“Human, Starlight.”

“Coltfriend?”

He shrugged. “Boyfriend maybe.”

“Whatever,” Starlight said, waving her forehoof at him dismissively. “You’re my boyfriend. You care about me a lot and—”

“So far, I could say the same about you, but go on.”

She smiled. “—and you’re very supportive of me, apparently.”

“Somebody has to. I—ack!”

She interrupted him with a nudge. Shame on him for saying that! He—wait, was he okay?

He groaned in response, hissing through his teeth. “Uhh, what was that for?”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to hit you like that. Was supposed to be a nudge.”

“That’s a nudge?”

She snorted and nuzzled him. “Yeah… sorry.”

“You ponies and your absurd strength—egh.” Anon grunted as he attempted to get comfortable against the tree again. She sighed and watched as her human shift in place. It took him a little bit, but he eventually smiled and looked back over at her. “So are you against me helping you, then?”

“No…” Starlight muttered, her voice trailing off with her thoughts. She let out a growl. “It’s not that either. I just… don’t think you should have to do it. You’re a human and… if you were a stallion, you wouldn’t have to—”

“Are stallions lazy or something?”

She shook her head. “No, they aren’t lazy.”

“Are they not sympathetic?”

“No…”

“Then… what’s the problem?”

“It’s just not required for them, Anon. Mares are strong enough to do pretty much everything and when there’s so few stallions, everything just—eep!”

She felt his hand slightly glide against her ear, making a shiver dance down her spine. “Well too bad. I’m helping you even if I don’t have to.”

She tilted her head. “Why?”

“Because I’m bored, you’re stressed, and I love you. What other reasons do I need?”

Starlight felt her jaw disconnect from the rest of her head. She watched as he cupped her cheek and kissed her forehead.

And all she could do was wonder if getting a necklace for him would be too early or not.

Anon tilted his head at her. “Uh… Equestria to Starlight?”

She blinked rather rapidly and shook her head. “Huh?”

“Are you okay?”

Starlight didn’t know what to say. She was… shocked. Flabbergasted. Not ready. Confused. Everything and anything all at once.

She didn’t know a guy like this even existed. There were some stallions that wanted their individuality intact, but him? No, him? Anon was something else. Something different entirely. He was like a mare in a way, wanting to take control of the relationship, but not in the way that some mares do. He…

He saw it like she did, didn’t he?

She smiled. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

“Good. I would hate to have short-circuited you.”

She giggled as she snuggled into his stomach, her mane grazing his inner leg. “Lucky for you, you already helped me out with that.”

He laughed. “I might be the best boyfriend ever.”

She rolled her eyes. “Maybe, but you’ll have to prove that to me later.”

“By helping you with your office?”

“Oh yeah, I was totally understating it being a pigsty. Hope you’re not allergic to citrus juice!”

She could hear him sigh behind her, which made her giggle. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

She wanted to hate him for calling her cute, but she decided on a different tactic. She flipped over, snaked up to his face, and pecked him on the lips. “Guess I am.”

She then plopped back in her original position, much to Anon’s chagrin, if the groan was anything to go off of.

“Tease.”

“Guilty.”

The two nuzzled into each other before watching the sun descend toward the treetops.

Possible Paper Cuts in Descending Order - Anon’s Perspective

Anon held onto Starlight.

Everything was great. The date went off without a major hitch (Applejacks™ and Cereal For A Mane just had to interrupt them), and he was now holding her against his side as they walked away from Sweet Apple Acres. Hopefully Colonel Sander’s Personal Steed and A Pride Parade’s Bad Hair Day held up their end of the bargain. Not that there was a bargain to begin with.

Maybe the right word was a ‘promise’.

…

Yeah, that was the one. A promise to not tell anyone else about them until they were okay to do so. Unfortunately, Anon knew that promises were meant to be broken. It was just a matter of when.

“That sunset was good, wasn’t it?”

Starlight neighed happily beside him. “Yeah, it was! I’m glad we watched it together.”

“Same here,” Anon whispered, which made Starlight smile from ear-to-ear.

Then, she sighed. “I… I hope you’re ready to put in the work.”

He waved her off. “Pfft, it shouldn’t be that bad cleaning your office. I mean, how many papers have you stacked up in there?”

“Ten thousand three hundred and fifty-five.”

Anon blinked. “Uhh what?”

She tilted her head. “Yeah, it’s a lot, I know. I haven’t had the time to shred most of it. Too many meetings. Also, can you believe some of it is even junk mail that just so happened to float into my office? Because it’s true!” Her giggle was unbelievable. “And what makes it worse is that it maayyyy be off by a few pieces, probably eaten by the shredder that I got recently, but that’s okay. As long as it wasn’t the financial records of the entire school, we should be fine, right?” She breathed out a nervous laugh that had Anon more worried than ever.

“Right…” He held her closer because she said that, which caused her to squeak a bit. Typical Starlight noises.

Anon took a deep breath. Whatever Starlight had for him was either going to be the death of him and he was going to be looking down from above seeing his grave, or he was going to survive and have a fear of citrus. There could be a third or even a fourth option but he wasn’t going to entertain any more of them, his mind would run wild, and when his mind ran wild…

He gulped as he looked back at his mare.

She was looking up at him, smiling all the while.

That made him find something else to stare at.

“Something wrong?”

He shook his head. “N-No.”

…

“That stutter didn’t sell me, Anon.”

“Buy it anyway,” he said flatly.

“Nope.” He glanced over at Starlight and saw a smirk emblazon her, and her horn sparked in the dark. “Need a light?”

Another head shake, followed by a throat clear. “It’s not that either, but you can keep your magical LED on, I guess.”

“Regretting helping me with my office?” Starlight asked, her smirk glowing in the dark.

“No…” He was lying through his teeth right now, and he hoped she didn’t read him like a book this time. “Who would be afraid of a little stationery?”

“Papyrophobic ponies.”

“Sorry, did you just inhale some paper?”

She laughed. “I didn’t. You’re the one that asked!”

He wished he didn’t. “I guess I did.” He shook his head and put his free hand in the pocket of his pants.

The rest of the walk was uneventful. The two of them just enjoyed walking close to each other. And when they emerged from the other side of the forest and into Ponyville, there weren’t many ponies out and about. Most had returned to their homes to sleep, save for a few that Anon couldn’t recognize. Starlight did recognize one though, but she muttered it to herself and he didn’t have the willpower to actually hear her low-energy horse noises at this hour.

Under the veil of the growing night, the two walked right in front of the school. Starlight sparked her horn, flaring the magic she willed up on the door. It lit up like a thundercracker on the Fourth of July, and then it opened, letting them walk into its confines. Upon entering, the double doors thudded to a close.

And now they were in the hall where—

Starlight flared her horn and turned the lights on.

And then there was light.

“Wow, I wasn’t expecting you to—”

“Turn the lights on so quickly?” She asked, smirking at him. He nodded, which made her giggle and trot ahead of him. “Well, candles are easy to light, and I think I would know how to work a few small lamps.” She twirled in the center of the first main intersection. She pointed down one of the halls with a hoof. “My office is this way, so thankfully it’s not a long walk.”

Anon wordlessly walked behind her and nodded. The two walked down the hall, hooves clip-clopping and shoes clapping against the marble floors. Anon eventually got tired of the noise, so he stood on the carpet that decorated it, but Starlight apparently was either in her own world, too lazy to move over, or wanted to make sure Anon didn’t fall asleep, because she was still clip-clopping against that floor. He mentally groaned, wincing as the cadance grew slower, like she was doing this on purpose.

She wasn’t. She was looking at a goofy painting of Rainbow Dash for a brief moment. Wonder who added the mustache?

…

Probably Scootaloo.

“Was that mustache always there?”

Anon shrugged. “You’re asking me this when I haven’t even stepped foot in here before?”

She turned around and looked at him with a raised brow. “Really? This is your first time?”

“Yep. First time. Twilight was supposed to bring me here, but every time she was supposed to, someone else had her number first.”

“...”

“Starlight?”

“Sorry, was in my head there for a moment.”

“Tired?” he asked, observing her face as she turned tail.

“No, just… thinking.” She flicked her tail on the word ‘thinking’. “Thinking about tomorrow, primarily.”

Anon hummed to himself in thought. “Are you planning on—”

“Bringing you in as a guest speaker next week? Oh, definitely. And for the week after.”

He gulped. “Is this something I can say no to?”

She blinked rapidly.

“Going to take that as a no.”

She squealed happily. “You’re learning!”

They continued to walk down the hall, before Starlight took a sharp left at a room with a really decorated door. It had plumes of magic and stars on her window, followed by a crudely-written line of text in somepony’s hoof writing: Headmare Starlight’s Office. Not sure why her office wasn’t connected to some sort of waiting room where the secretary could lambast anyone who even walked in, but Anon didn’t even need to know why. The proof was in the pudding, and why he was now imagining a horrible nightmare, where papers stacked nearly endlessly to the sky. There were a few first aid kits in this nightmare too, and they all had his name etched onto them. The amount of paper cuts…

Anon shivered as Starlight opened the door. The lights inside the room flickered.

“Are you coming in, Anon?”

“Coming…”

Begrudgingly, Anon stumbled into the room. Inside, he was smacked with a flashbang of light and a few white squares of snow. A sharp contrast from the dimly lit halls of the school. Once his eyes adjusted, he spied on that white square being stacked nearly to the ceiling, and another to his left at a much smaller stack (it reached his shoulder, so it was still tall enough to groan about). Ahead of him were a few extremely tiny stacks in a much larger bin/box hybrid labeled ‘Complaints and Grievances’. He didn’t even want to know what was in there.

Starlight was behind the desk, making sure her chair didn’t scuff the floor or something.

“Welcome to my second home!”

“Your second home?”

An airy laugh escaped his mare. “Yes. The first home is better, but we’re avoiding that one until we get to talk to Twilight.”

Anon licked his lips as he took in his surroundings. “Is that why you’ve been staying over at my place?”

She blushed. “No, that… wasn’t what I was planning.”

He smirked. “Guess I’m irresistible.”

“Actually…” She rolled her eyes and leaned toward his direction. “Yes, you are.”

He walked over to her and rewarded her with a mane floofing of a lifetime. He could hear her squeak and neigh rather annoyingly, but he didn’t care. Mare mane go floof. He observed his work with a smile and nodded. “And now so are you.”

She blushed. “Anon…”

“Right… cleaning. Mind telling me what you actually need done?”

She magicked her mane back to normal and clopped her forehooves together. “I’m glad you asked! So, I need to clean all these papers off my desk, and then organize them in the stacks I have. Some of them may need to be shredded, but that’s okay! And then once we do all of that, then we could probably make sure the floor is cleaned/swept.” She looked down at the floor again. “Actually, we could just sweep it. It’s not dirty right now.”

“It’ll probably get dirty due to all the papers we’re going to have to sacrifice to Celestia.”

A giggle sparked fanfare. “Let’s avoid waking Celestia up. She needs her sleep.”

He snorted. “Then let’s get this done quickly.”

“Why’s that?” She asked with a slight head tilt.

“Because if we don’t, I’ll probably get more paper cuts than ever. And trust me, Mayor Mare has an eye for those.”

“I’ll make sure you won’t have anything visible.”

A stack of papers whipped by Anon’s face.

“Should I quickly ask somepony for some protective headgear?”

“There’s nothing magic can’t fix!” she sang as she rolled in her chair.

And that was that. The sounds of paper shuffling and Anon flicking a piece of paper with his hand filled the air. And they filled them for several hours, with the two talking about the room, how stupid this whole thing was, and why it didn’t get them any closer to resolving things with Twilight (the last two initiated by Anon, of course). Starlight obliged them all, telling him to stop being a baby, that he’s a human not a stallion, and that they’ll live (probably). She whispered that last part and that bothered him immensely.

He frowned. “Are we almost done?”

Much to his chagrin, she shook her head. “Got another stack here and—”

“Fluttershy, who in Ponyville would be here at this hour?”

A third voice definitely made Anon jump out of his skin. Was that…

“I don’t know, Rarity, but somepony left the lights on, and Starlight’s office is open.”

Starlight’s eyes widened.

Anon facepalmed.

This wasn’t going to end well, was it?

Author's Note

Credit given to Randomaneer123 for the Colonel Sanders Personal Steed and A Pride Parade's Bad Hair Day names.

Song(s) for this chapter:

Edits completed on January 3rd, 2025.

Shred Those Feelings, Stay Lost Instead

The Stationery Massacre of the SoF (School of Friendship) - Anon’s Perspective

Anon took a deep breath, channeling what little energy he had left in the tanks to spare. He wasn’t sure he was ready for the onslaught these two were going to bring, what with all the work he and Starlight had done so far, Anon barely had anything to offer. Fatigue had him by the balls. But hearing that mare, her voice, just outside Starlight’s office, that invigorated him to stay awake and alert. That mare had a hoof in his debacle with Twilight, and she was not going to forget her role:

“Rarity said it would get more stallions to notice me.”

It bothered him knowing that, if the right words were said or if she gave an inflection too harshly, the blood in his body would boil. Sure, he would play nice, only nice enough to get through this interaction. Nothing more, nothing less. She didn’t deserve any clemency.

A yawn escaped Anon as the two rounded the corner, the mare of his ire about to walk through the threshold of Starlight’s office.

“Fluttershy, who on staff would forget to snuff out a candle or turn off a lamp? I—eek!”

The sudden screech was emitted from none other than Rarity. Anon knew her story; there wasn’t a need for introductions in his mind. She was prim, proper, and quite frankly a walking piece of dynamite that could explode any moment if her mane was out of sorts.

Unfortunately for her, Miss Prim and Proper may have a few hairs come undone as she turned into a pirouetting ball of hair retreating straight into Fluttershy, a pony who Anon had a lot more respect for. That respect couldn’t earn her protection from the twirling disaster barreling straight for her, since Anon was too far to even help in the first place. All he could do was observe the poster-esque model of a Bad Mane Day crash into the outstretched wing of Fluttershy. The collision sent the two tumbling to the floor, landing in a heap that Anon deemed to be a Rarishy pile, an ungodly mixture of yellow feathers, purple curls, and painful groans. Anon frowned at the sight of them, not because Fluttershy was in pain, but because he totally wasn’t the first person—err, creature to ever make that distinction. No, that would’ve been too easy.

He snorted before folding his arms close to his chest, one arm on top of the other. And that frown he had on his face moments ago was wiped clear off it, his gaze trending elsewhere. There wasn’t a need for Anon to be Fluttershy’s witness in court, and besides, if he kept that frown on his face and they saw it, they’d play an experimental version of twenty questions. Anon wasn’t a fan of twenty questions, nor was he in the mood to give an explanation about his state of being, especially to Rarity.

Anon also refrained from letting out yet another yawn. All this work has made him want to head home to sleep comfortably, preferably in his bed cozied up with his warm blankets and his extremely fluffy pillows. Instead, he’s watching two ponies reenact their own version of a car crash and its subsequent aftermath, while being painfully reminded that he’s in his marefriend’s office working with her on shredding all of her copies, and the copies of those other copies. It was a so-called massacre of wasted stationery, one that he had a hand in creating.

Speaking of a massacre, while the two mares unfurled and plucked themselves from each other, he and Starlight had kept on pace, shredding yet another small stack from the much larger one they claimed as Mount Everest (actually it was only Anon who claimed it, not Starlight). The whirring of the Shredder 2.0 (named aptly by himself, much to Starlight’s chagrin) pierced through the air. Its razor sharp claws easily sliced and diced the useless documents that were once part of that mountain, their lifeless remains dropping to the bottom of the shredder’s willing accomplice: its gray bin.

…

Anon had assessed the small stack’s contents, which were mostly copies of reports from last year. He had asked Starlight about them as his eyes had trailed over them more than once and was utterly curious about them. She told him that they were not good in any way, shape, or form. Some had multiple misspellings, one had a massive ink splotch in the center, and one even had a lazy doodle of Trixie wearing a mustache. Starlight had told him that the last one was definitely her drifting off, thinking it was funny to have Trixie wearing a mustache and being completely composed about it. He didn’t really see what was so funny, but maybe that was because Trixie rarely unearthed herself from the school when it was in session, so Anon never got to see her. If she did leave the school grounds, his schedule didn’t exactly align with hers, what with all the touring she did.

“That’ll all change soon!” Starlight had told him. She was right about this. He knew Starlight’s schedule, and thanks to these two being the best of friends, he also knew Trixie’s schedule. Why? It wasn’t because Starlight told him of Trixie’s schedule. No, it was because Starlight had Trixie’s calendar overlaid on hers, all decorated in spades and hearts. Since Starlight saw it as important, he had to at least remember Trixie’s schedule for Starlight’s sake. Was it weird to know her best friend’s schedule?

Probably. Anon didn’t know for sure. His life was growing many shades astray from what it once was, and it was all thanks to Starlight knocking on his front door. He didn’t know if it was for the better, but those feelings he had gained for Starlight stirred each and every day he was with her, and the burden he wore since that day of rejection, while still present, slowly began to be drowned out. That vision, that feeling of elation, they tasted so sweet, sugary, and all sorts of right, like cotton candy on a warm day at a state fair.

It was enough to make him nibble on his bottom lip in the present.

Was this what diabetes felt like? He needed to check with Redheart just to be sure.

Anon shook his head and returned to reality, which apparently was Rarity and Fluttershy dusting each other off, one with a feather duster held in a blue aura, while the other was trying to use her already kerfuffled wing to make some strides. It only took a moment longer before Fluttershy brought her wings to her sides, and the feather duster that had floated in air to be blinked out of existence with a sharp white light.

He winced, the light more glaring than usual.

“You’ll learn to look away someday,” Starlight whispered with a sheepish smile on her face.

He just glared at her, which earned him a giggle-snort. His well-timed follow-up of an eye roll nearly made Starlight fall out of her seat, only making her lean back just enough to panic on the landing. The chair’s front legs thumped against the floor.

“Don’t fall off your dinosaur, Starlight,” Anon quipped, a smirk worming onto his face as he leaned toward her.

She tilted her head. “What’s a dye-no-soar?”

He ignored her complete mispronunciation of the word (for now). “I’ll update you on the lore later,” he psh-awed, flinging his wrist toward her, and turning his attention to the now well-dusted duo. “So, did you two plan on merging into one pony, or did you just have a happy accident?”

“The latter, Anon,” Rarity droned, punctuating his name with a whine. “I wasn’t expecting you to be so close to the door.”

Spoiler alert, he wasn’t that close. He was pretty far away actually. Not as far as Starlight, she was the furthest, sitting comfortably at her desk in the back of the room, while he stood a bit more in front of her desk, but off to the side. The door was maybe… a few steps away from him? He didn’t know, he made sure to stretch his legs with each step, but despite all that, apparently Rarity didn’t think so. She was so shocked by his presence that she jumped backwards into Fluttershy. Intimidation in the worst of ways.

“I wasn’t even that close. I’m closer to Starlight’s desk than the front door,” Anon sneered. “But sure, blame me for it. That’ll—”

Starlight groaned, which made Anon look in her direction. She looked… confused, her right ear twitching only as she muttered his name, “Anon…”

He let out a frustrated sigh, throwing his hands to his sides. “Fine.” One turned up, scratching the back of his head. “I’m… sorry for scaring you.”

“Is something…?” Rarity began, only for her thought to trail off once she saw what he saw: Starlight’s furrowed brows and her menacing glare.

Safe to say, Rarity's befuddled expression told him all he needed to know.

Fluttershy walked up to Starlight’s desk and flashed a smile at them. “It’s good to see you two.”

Starlight tilted her head. “Why’s that? Did you think somepony else was here?”

Fluttershy froze, her eyes slightly wide, just like her muzzle, which was only a little bit ajar. Her wings tittered though as she spoke, “Sort of. At first, we thought the pony you hired to clean the school forgot to turn off a light or—”

“He wasn’t in today. He got time off this week,” Starlight interrupted with a slight smile. “Good to know some ponies pay attention to the early morning meetings.”

“Oh, of course,” Fluttershy began, her wings bursting a flap and a half before returning to her sides. Her lips tugged upward as she continued, “Your morning meetings are very informative and—”

Rarity nudged Fluttershy, causing her to squeak. “What Fluttershy is trying to say is that, well… everypony enjoys your meetings.”

Starlight’s muzzle scrunched up like an accordion. “That didn’t sound too convincing.”

“Au contraire, Starlight.” Rarity’s lopsided grin told Anon enough that she was lying through her teeth, but the not-so-subtle lean into Fluttershy may throw Starlight off her trail. “We wouldn’t lie to you, would we?”

“Heh-heh. Most likely not…” Starlight tried to sell her sheepishness, but the little awkward laughs afterward only made Anon wish he could facepalm without distracting them. So, he let out a grunt instead.

All three mares shot their attention towards him, brows equally bent in disdain.

“What?” he asked with a sudden higher pitch. He gave them a shrug to boot hoping it would smooth things over, but Starlight gave him an eye roll, while the others turned back to return to the matter at hoof.

Fluttershy moved closer to the desk and smiled. “I’m just glad it wasn’t some random robber.”

“Random robber?” Starlight began, her voice cracking on robber. “But—”

Anon snapped his fingers. “See, that’s where you’re wrong, Fluttershy! We’re actually robbing the place. We picked it clean of all the endless copies of Starlight’s nonsense so that no one will ever learn about her knack for missing commas and misspelling the word ‘tha—ack’!”

“Ignore him,” Starlight droned while she gifted him with a sharp gaze that could cut him like a knife. She had also tagged him with the next stack, which he grumbled and mumbled with it now in his hands instead of on the back of his neck. Stupid magic and its omni movement. “He’s just ecstatic to be here this late at night.”

He could still feel the papers’ haunting touch— “Watching all of her copies and the copies of her copies get shredded is the most ideal way of biding my time.”

Rarity tilted her head. “Forceful cooperation?”

“More like volunteered,” Starlight emphasized, tapping her desk with a hoof before fumbling through a small stack she summoned with her magic. She peeled through it as she continued, “You know I’m not like that anymore, Rarity.”

“I know, Starlight,” Rarity began, her voice whisking through the air into his eardrums, which he didn’t like and didn’t consent to. His feelings didn’t matter even if— “But Anon is quite a charming man, and I don’t want him to feel uncomfortable—”

Anon tuned her out. The fact she’s said that led him down two paths: either she doesn’t know about Twilight’s intentions with her advice, or maybe Rarity did and was trying to alleviate tensions between them using empty compliments. It made him grit his teeth, while one of his fingers dug into the stack in his hands, crinkling the top sheet ever-so-slightly. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, like he was about to pop off it and tell Rarity to leave, but he didn’t, letting a deep shaky breath escape in his stead.

He glanced at the top most page of the stack, reading Starlight’s inked signature and subsequent words ‘WHY DO YOU DOODLE?!’ in red ink. It was like his mare was reprimanding herself like a teacher would to a student. It almost made him laugh, but he still had to find this doodle. The front of the page didn’t have anything like the one she drew of Trixie, so it must be on the back—

A purple ink portrait of Rarity doing a duck face greeted him. The duck pose was incredibly exaggerated, almost to the point that if he flipped it over and showed it to Rarity, she’d probably declare a war between herself and Starlight right in front of him. It would be entertaining to see them fight, almost worthy of a television spot back home, but he also wasn’t wanting to aggravate them both, or rather, his mare. Rarity was still on the chopping block if she said the right words.

He flicked that page off the top and shoved it underneath his stack, making sure to flip it again to hide the doodle from plain sight. Then, he peered back over to the actual living one right in front of him, the frazzled designer leaning toward Starlight with a smirk on her face. Confidence exuded in that one, that much was obvious, meanwhile, Anon’s mare was… awkwardly grinning at Rarity, a slight blush tingeing her cheeks. Knowing history (not that he had much to go off of), this was going to go in a direction he wasn’t prepared for.

“Heh, I’m happy that you’re defending him. A lot of what you said, tracks. Right, Anon?”

Anon nearly snapped his neck at that one. What were they talking about a little bit ago? Uhhh... “Huh?”

The two mares looked at each other briefly before they launched into a cacophony of laughter, Starlight more-so than Rarity. The latter pointed a hoof at him while clutching her stomach and letting out an exaggerated squeal. “D-Darling, what… were you d-doing?”

He rolled his eyes. “Spotting the copies to make sure she won’t accidentally shred an official one.”

“See?” Starlight said mid-recovery. She leaned to the side to toss a paper toward its maker (the shredder). “He’s super helpful, and—hah—he’s d-doing this all on his own. He doesn’t need… me to influence him!”

“Influence is an apt word, Starlight,” Rarity pointed out before plucking her forehooves off Starlight’s desk. She returned to all fours and flicked her mane in such a way that made Anon wonder if she was trying to bait Starlight further. “From what I see, you two are quite a pair.”

“A pair?” Starlight asked, her eyes widening. “W-We—”

“Oh who am I kidding, you two aren’t together,” Rarity quipped, a smirk betraying her intentions. She looked over at Fluttershy, who was awkwardly smiling, her gaze darting between the two of them. This drew a sigh from the living marshmallow, who turned away from the group and began walking toward the exit. “Well, Fluttershy, we should probably get out of their manes.”

Fluttershy nodded and hung her head a bit low, her ears splayed against her nape. “Sorry for interrupting you both.”

“There’s no need to apologize,” Starlight replied, sending a smile towards Fluttershy. “You both were worried and wanted to make sure everything was alright. Why would I be upset by that?”

She perked up at that. “You’re right. I’m glad we checked.”

The two shared a glance before Fluttershy turned away and walked towards Anon.

“Anon?”

“Hmm?”

She dipped her head a bit and sheepishly smiled at him, her voice only a whisper, “Please treat Starlight well.”

Anon raised a brow. Why would she ask him that? Did she know about Twilight—wait, did she know that he and Starlight were together?!

His eyes threatened to widen, but he cleared his throat and tried to smile in Fluttershy’s direction. “Don’t—ehm—worry about that. She’s helped me get through some stuff I was going through lately. I couldn’t do that to her.”

Fluttershy bought that smile, if hers growing was anything to go off of. Also her wings twitched near the tips, not sure if that was normal either. “Good,” she simply stated. “And if you do get a paper cut, I have a first aid kit back at—”

Anon threw a hand up and shook his head. “No need. Starlight has one of those here. We’ll probably have to do a scavenger hunt or something to find it, though, but we should be fine. Heck, she might also have a bandage supply in her desk that I don’t know about.”

As if on cue, Starlight magic’d a roll of bandages over to him. It immediately made Fluttershy yelp, not expecting them to suddenly zap into existence right next to her, but she didn’t fall over like Rarity did earlier.

“And there it is!” The magic dissipated momentarily, the roll falling into his hand. “Thanks, Starlight.”

And then it blinked out of existence, his hand rolless. He looked back over at Starlight’s desk, only to see that exact roll now in her forehoof.

“My disappointment continues to grow into a deeper shade of green.”

Fluttershy chuckled behind a hoof and turned toward the exit. “Well then I’m glad you’re in good hooves too. I’ll see you around, Anon!”

“See you, Fluttershy—” Suddenly Anon stopped himself and added, “Actually, before you go, promise me you’ll tell that carrot muncher of yours that he owes me a bag of carrots?”

That made the pegasus turn right back to him, her attention gained in full. “He stole your carrots?”

“Few weeks ago, at the market. Bought two bags and he nabbed one like the little rascal he is. He even nibbled on one of them right in front of me before taking off!”

“Are you sure that was him?” Fluttershy asked with a head tilt.

“Unless you walk with another bunny during your shopping trips, then yes, I’m pretty sure it was him.”

She frowned and fiddled with her wings. “I’m sorry. I should’ve noticed that he did that.”

Anon gave her a slight smile and patted her head on the head. “Don’t worry. Angel’s quite sneaky for a bunny.”

Fluttershy hummed happily, her wings fluttering softly. “I’ll make sure he apologizes to you, Anon.” She folded her wings up and took a step back from him, which made him bring his hand back to the stack. He wondered if he was a bit too forward with that gesture, only to see the two mares sharing a glance with each other, one inquisitive (Starlight) and the other cheerful. The latter flicked a wing over at Starlight’s direction. “I hope you both have a great rest of your night!”

“Thank you, Fluttershy. We’ll survive from the dangerous—ack!”

Anon rubbed the top of his head after getting donked on the head by a rogue pencil sharpener. His mare’s aim was otherworldly, and that smirk that warped onto her face was nearly the same. “Ignore him once again. We hope you’ll have a good night too, right, Anon?”

“Y-Yeah,” he said softly, a grunt somewhat escaping mid-stutter. “Have a g’night, Fluttershy.”

Fluttershy turned tail and walked out the door. As the hooffalls drew far from the room, Anon realized that once again, he and his mare were alone. The whirs of the little menacing shredder was the only noise to be heard. It begged for more papers, more pointless copies to annihilate, but none ever came. Instead, Starlight and Anon sat comfortably away from each other, distant, like two friends who were tired of each other's existence at that point.

Anon frowned. He didn’t like that thought. He wanted to describe the room differently, but that whole sudden visitation distracted him. All he knew was that his seat was definitely not near Starlight’s, and the face she put on in front of the two intruders fell just as quick as the click-clacking of their hooves. He wanted to walk over to her and give her a much-needed hug, but he felt like he couldn’t move. Instead, he watched her disgruntled appearance grow even more disheveled. She exhaled shakily, before she drew magic through her horn. The blue-ish shimmer enveloped the shredder momentarily, before the sounds it made fell to a depressed final hum. Then, she set it back down and looked over at him, the bags under her eyes beginning to form.

“Looks like Mount Everest will survive until tomorrow.”

He pointed over to the large stack. “You don’t want to finish this off real qui—”

She suddenly hopped out of her seat, which made him lose focus on what he was saying, his voice trailing off. He watched her trot over to him, her gait looking like she was slogging through mud. She eventually stood in front of him, her eyes picking apart at his form. He withheld a blush, not knowing what was going on in that noggin of hers, but then, without any warning, Starlight reared and crawled up Anon’s pant legs with her forehooves. She craned her head out to practically drape as much of herself over him (at least, that’s what he thought she was doing), but Anon wasn’t a fan of being smothered, even though it was done by her. He caught her muzzle in his hands, and gently cupped her cheeks, rubbing them softly with his thumbs.

She let out a happier sounding sigh and nuzzled his right hand. “No, we’ve been at this for long enough. I can handle the rest.”

“Even though your room is still a mess?” Anon asked with a raised brow.

A tired giggle escaped Starlight. “It’s way less of a mess now. We’ve pretty much done everything else.”

Anon took a moment to survey the room. She wasn’t wrong. With all the progress they had made, Mount Everest no longer touched the ceiling, the stack now much smaller, only reaching his elbow. He bet that Starlight could actually organize it a bit further, separating the remnants of the mountain (it was a hill now) into much smaller stacks. That would make the room feel way less cluttered. Maybe she could set them on the conveniently placed table that sat to the left of her? A safe spot to keep them away from him, and just far enough from any prying eyes. Besides, those papers were weapons; paper cuts were not his favorite thing.

Expanding his field of view, Anon noticed how the floor barely suffered from their organizing and shredding. Barely any paper shavings remained. Maybe they were remnants of some other copies that had spilled onto the floor days prior, and that bin never moved the entire time they were there, minus her magic holding it moments ago, so it had to be the reason. Whatever it was, he knew one thing was for sure: no sweeping was required. This made it way more manageable for her to organize and file what remained for tomorrow.

That accomplishment made Anon happy, happy enough to lean forward and kiss her square on her forehead, only narrowly poking his eye out with her very sharp horn.

“Teamwork makes the dream work.”

Starlight squirmed in his hands before scooting up just enough to lick his cheek. “You’re right, and I had one of the best teammates ever.”

He felt himself blush. “You’re probably right.”

Starlight escaped his grasp by pulling away from his hands. “What is that supposed to mean?” she asked with a slight head tilt.

“Nothing. Nothing!”

She giggle-snorted herself into a tizzy, which made Anon let out a cross between a growl and a groan. His pain made his mare crane her head up to kiss him on the cheek. “I’m serious though. No pony else would’ve helped me out this late at night. So, thank you, Anon.”

He brought her close to his chest and wrapped his arms gently around her back. “You’re welcome, Star.”

She wiggled in his grasp. “Star?”

He peered down at her, her eyes sparkling in the candlelight. “Against that one too?”

She nuzzled into his chest with a low hum. “It’s a start.”

Anon smiled. “I’ll work on it a bit more.”

“You better,” she murmured. She peered up at him. “Otherwise I’ll start calling you Nonny.”

“Please don’t. That one is off limits.”

Starlight chuckled weakly into his shirt. “Sure…”

“Thank you. I’m so happy that I have such an understanding mare—”

“—Nonny.”

Suddenly, he had the primal urge to toss Starlight into the air. Unfortunately, he was too tired and so was she.

He decided to bring her even closer instead.

“Anon?”

“Hmm?”

“We should get going—”

Anon groaned. “Could we stay like this for a little longer?”

“But—”

“Please?”

…

“Okay, but only for a little longer.”

He snuggled into her mane, which earned him another cute squeak. He wasn’t ready to say good night to her just yet.

Author's Note

Yo imagine getting mind blocked because you wrote Opalescence taking over Equestria mid-stream, and didn't know if you should add it. Then, on top of it, you also wrote a line that you didn't know how to fix until you yeeted it off a cliff.

That was me.

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