This Just Got Worse, Didn’t It? - Starlight’s Perspective

“I didn’t know Anon was on the market!”

That’s what graced Starlight’s ears shortly after Anon’s declaration. She didn’t know whether to blush or clip that mare’s wings. Those words she had scratchily shouted echoed on that hilltop for anypony for miles to hear. Starlight’s stomach flipped and her ears twitched uncontrollably. The world that she feared now reared its ugly head right in front of her.

And all she could do was watch. Her glare honed in on them. She hoped they wondered why she was looking at them like this. The answer was obvious. At least, it should be.

Anon raised a brow. “Where were you when I first arrived?”

Rainbow Dash tilted her head, tapping her chin with a hoof. “Uhhh…” Her muzzle scrunched up, before she gasped. “I was training with the Wonderbolts at the time!”

“Really?”

An ecstatic nod by Rainbow Dash contrasted Applejack’s whoop and holler. “Yep, and after all that trainin’, she’d come right back over to the farm and nap in my trees!”

“You wish, AJ!” she replied, sticking her tongue out.

“That ain’t a wish, featherbrain. That’s actually what happened!”

Anon rolled his eyes. “Glad you two are in high spirits.”

“And we’re glad you are too, Mous.” Applejack tilted her hat towards him. “Say, I got a question now that you’ve said whatcha said.”

“Shoot,” Anon began with a grin. “Can’t be worse than what Miss Wonderbolt said.”

Starlight felt a tugging at her lips. She held them back, she wouldn’t say a word. Not without telling Anon that he wasn’t good at betting, but that would quickly move into shoving those two away. She couldn’t do that.

Besides, this whole situation could definitely be worse, but Applejack wasn’t the type of mare who would be raunchy, right? She would probably wash Apple Bloom’s mouth out with soap if she ever said a single word of profanity! Right. She would never—

“Did you two do it already?”

—say… heh. Ehhh?!

Starlight’s eyes widened. “Applejack!”

“What, Starlight? I didn’t—”

She was about to unleash her wrath. Magical energy surged through her horn, bubbling like a boiling pot of water on a stove, yet Anon’s laughter dispelled her anger. Starlight took a deep breath as she watched her man clutch his stomach, keeling over in hysterics. He fell against the tree, nearly clunking his head on its trunk, but he barely missed it (thankfully, she wasn’t wanting to take a pitstop to the clinic). He kicked his legs out and leaned on the tree. “O-Oh my God, A-Apple—PFFT!” He spat out part of his laugh and took a few deep breaths. “Wow, I was… not expecting that!”

Rainbow Dash flapped her wings and hovered in the air. “You should have! After all, she’s the princess of no filter.”

The blue foreleg pointing towards Applejack made Starlight’s anger quell to a low simmer. She can put Rainbow Dash’s wing clipping on hold for now. Starlight had a new target, one with a stetson and a poor excuse of a filter.

“Excuse you? Honesty means havin’ no filter? Don’t ya put a cloud over my head and tell me it’s about’a rain! It was just a question!”

Anon furrowed his brows, now sitting on the ground. “Yes and my foot up your pie hole is just a response.”

Rainbow Dash tilted her head at Anon. “Uhhh, Anon? She’s already part Pie. How’s a hole going to change that?”

Starlight facehooved. She needed to stop watching and take action. This was getting ridiculous!

“Alright everypony, let’s put the filter on this time.” She stood by his side and nuzzled him happily. Then, with a smirk, she turned her attention back to the two snoopers. “This man is off the market, and neither of you need to know about that part of our lives.”

Starlight watched as they both were about to open their mouths, but she flared her horn, which made Rainbow Dash sigh, while Applejack took a second to compose herself.

“Good,” Starlight said with a confident smirk (she hoped it was) on her face. “Now ask some actual questions.”

“But my question was—”

“Applejack, I will hurl you and your dignity back to the farm if you even attempt to finish that sentence!”

As those words escaped her, Starlight saw Applejack’s head hang low, before she gave the most pitiful nod in all of Equestria. Was Starlight being too harsh with her?

Rainbow Dash, on the other hoof, wasn’t worried about Starlight’s spat. She just smiled (somewhat shakily) before she spoke, “So… uh, when did you two start dating?”

Starlight looked over at Anon, who was preparing himself to answer. She rolled her eyes. The poor guy was going to say something that would make him look worse than he was. She didn’t want him to stutter himself into a corner that he couldn’t crawl out of!

She cleared her throat and smiled at Rainbow Dash. “A few days ago.”

Those pink eyes grew a bit and she leaned in with that annoying smirk of hers. “Ooooonly?”

“Yes, only a few days ago, Rainbow Dash,” Starlight said with a punctuated eye roll. “We’re trying to figure all this out.”

“I didn’t know figurin’ things out involved trespassin’ on an orchard.”

Applejack’s comment struck a chord with Starlight. She sighed. “Heh, it was more of his idea—” She pointed a hoof square at Anon’s chest. “—but blaming him only would be dishonest of me, considering I liked the idea once we got here.”

One of his eyebrows rose to the occasion. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

She chuckled nervously behind her forehoof. “I-It means you convinced me that we should do this again sometime!” Starlight felt Applejack’s glare roam among the hairs on her back. “With Applejack’s permission, of course.”

Anon snorted. “Surprised that she’s even giving us grief.”

“Givin’ ya grief? Anon, if I knew you two were comin’, I would’a left ya alone!”

“You were the one that told me that it was okay to stop by anytime.”

She let out a frustrated growl, followed by a frown that smeared across her face. “I sure did…”

“Besides,” Anon began as he threw his arm around Starlight, pulling her towards him. “Living life on the edge is more fun anyway.”

Starlight squeaked as she flopped into him, luckily not slamming into his leg. She leaned into him, nuzzling into his stomach. “Don’t I know it.”

She felt him pulling her upward, before nuzzling his cheek with hers. She cooed and closed her eyes. It was wonderful, knowing that she had someone like him around to complement her. She just wished that the situations they got themselves into weren’t so… intense.

She opened her eyes and felt his hand pat the top of her head. “A-Anon?”

He tousled with her mane, before giving her a grin. “Look at ‘em.”

Starlight looked back over at the two. Rainbow Dash was looking elsewhere, and Applejack was… not. She was a bit flustered, red in the face. Would it be safe to say that they didn’t have anypony else like Starlight did in their lives? Probably.

“Allergic to us, Rainbow Dash?”

Starlight’s comment spurred the mare’s wings to flap uncontrollably. “N-No! It’s just…” She pursed her lips and pouted. She sat on her haunches for a moment and only spared a few glances at Applejack, who had been staring at her out of concern. Once their eyes met, Applejack rolled hers and shook her head.

“Since she’s a bit tongue-tied, I’ll help her out. It’s a mite bit strange seein’ you two together.”

“Strange in a bad way?” Starlight asked with a sheepish grin.

She watched as Applejack took a deep breath. “Maybe strange was the wrong word. Maybe different is better.” She let out a brief blow. “I don’t know. Most ponies didn’t expect you two bein’ together because ya didn’t speak to each other much. And now seein’ you both like this, so openly… it’s somethin’ else, really.”

Starlight frowned. Applejack was right. Starlight hadn’t been there for Anon ever prior to this whole relationship, prior to even her knocking on his door. She had been so absorbed in her friendship with others that she didn’t get to see him, at least on her own. Sometimes he was there when he could, but most of the time, he was doing something else.

Now with him by her side, Starlight was regretting not talking to him before all of this happened. Maybe she could have prevented his falling out with Twilight.

…

Oh who was she kidding? That wouldn’t happen. She would’ve accelerated it or caused everything to go skyward, and she wasn’t a fan of flying without a pair of wings. She needed to just—

“Starlight?”

Anon’s voice took her out of her own headspace. She blinked a bit as she looked at him, getting him into focus. He saw his concern, how his lips twitched a little while his arms were around her barrel. She scooted over a bit and sheepishly grinned.

“Sorry, I was in my head there.”

“Didn’t know what I said had some weight,” Applejack said with a smirk. “Seems like you two need some time to think things over, huh?”

Starlight nodded. “Yes, Applejack. We do. Could we—”

Applejack held a hoof up and waved her off. “No need. Rainbow and I will get out of your mane.”

“But, AJ, they didn’t—” Rainbow Dash began, only to get interrupted by Applejack’s hoof booping her on her nose. “Hey!”

“Come on, Snores-A-Lot. Let’s head back to the farm. Knowin’ you, you’re probably hungrier than an Apple after a long day in the fields.”

“Am not!” Rainbow Dash said, furling her wings to her sides. Did she not care about the nickname? She harrumphed and continued, “I ate a big breakfast and—”

As if on cue, a loud rumbling echoed in their ears. Anon held Starlight close. Applejack held onto her hat. And Rainbow Dash… well, she—

“Okay, maybe I’m lying and I’m really really hungry.”

Applejack was the first to crack. She started with a chuckle, before laughing like there was no tomorrow. Meanwhile, Starlight fell further into Anon, giggling uncomfortably as she nuzzled further into him. Anon absorbed the contact, his back hitting the tree, but he smiled and laughed too, matching her giggle-snorts. The three laughed and laughed, until Starlight looked up at Rainbow Dash.

All she saw was a spattering of red on the puffed-up mare’s cheeks. Before Starlight could even mutter an apology, Anon made himself known:

“Did you eat a whole nother pony, Skittles?”

Rainbow Dash glared at him. “Stop calling me that!”

Anon smirked. “Why? Do you hate tasting the rainbow?”

She smacked her forehoof against her forehead. “I’m going to—”

“Alright, you two. I’m steppin’ in before somepony knocks themselves out with a concussion.” Another Rainbow glare, this time directed at Applejack. “Oh you’ll live! Look, we’re burnin’ daylight and I know when you’re hankerin’, you’re hankerin’.”

“Alright, alright. Sheesh, some ponies…” Rainbow Dash replied, shaking her head. She looked over at Anon and Starlight with a sheepish smile. “Even though you don’t deserve it after calling me Skittles, I… I’m sorry about all of this. You two have fun.”

Starlight got up and approached her friend. “You don’t need to apologize, Rainbow Dash. No pony was at fault and—”

“Just felt like saying it after we… stumbled upon you two.”

Rainbow Dash’s side glance at Applejack made Starlight stifle a chuckle. “It was bound to happen,” Starlight said, before wrapping a foreleg around Rainbow Dash. “You might want to avoid eating apples though.”

“Ain’t that the truth!” Applejack piped up.

“I’ll still sneak one in away,” Rainbow Dash said with a smirk. She carefully returned the hug with her wing. Once they parted ways, she shook herself off and turned to Applejack. The two began walking down the hill.

It was nice to know that they accepted them without even having to say it and—

“Oh, wait! Applejack? Rainbow Dash?”

The two ponies turned around almost in sync. “Yeah?” They paused and laughed to themselves, knowing they also just responded at the same time.

“Don’t tell anypony, okay?”

Applejack raised a brow. “Why do you—”

“Just… not yet. We’re—”

“Figurin’ things out. We know.” Applejack looked over at Rainbow Dash, who was looking at her nervously. “We promise right, Rainbow Dash?”

Rainbow Dash nodded and waved a forehoof in front of her muzzle, almost as if she was zipping her mouth up. She wasn’t Pinkie, though, so there wasn’t an actual zipper. “I promise,” Rainbow Dash added.

Starlight let out a sigh she was holding onto. “Thanks, girls.”

“You’re welcome!" They both chirped, before sparing a smile at each other.

Starlight watched as they turned tail and walked back through the orchard, talking about something… she couldn’t hear them that well as they trotted further in. Something about… a rose?

She snorted and turned back to—

“Hey.”

Anon was right next to her, grabbing onto her and pulling her back over to where they were sitting. Then, he plopped himself down and then placed her right between his legs, her back up against his chest. Somehow, someway, Anon had done this all in one singular motion. How? She didn’t know. Maybe Anon had the power of magic in him after all. Or he was just that fast.

She looked up at him and saw how his face glistened in the sunlight.

“Hey…”

She felt his hand go through her mane again. “Good job not burning them to a crisp.”

She giggled and sighed. “Thanks, but they made it really hard not to at first.”

“I bet,” he said, before clearing his throat. She looked up at him and tilted her head, but he booped her muzzle instead, making her eyes go cross. He knew that she hated that, but Starlight knew he didn’t care all too much about that. It was part of their relationship. And that was fine, for now.

“Say, Starlight?”

“Hmm?”

“You think we could…”

“Could what?” she asked, her ears standing on end.

She could hear him lick his lips. “Do you think we could stay up here for a while longer?”

“A while longer?”

He resumed petting her mane, which made her coo in response. “I mean… like, until sunset. It’s perfect up here.”

She nuzzled into his stomach. “Maybe. I might have to leave a little early though.”

“You might?”

She twiddled with her forehooves. “Got work tomorrow, and I have to make sure my office doesn’t look like a pigsty.”

Anon looked down at her as she met his gaze, the two sharing a brief smile. “Did you leave it like that on purpose?”

She laughed. “No, I didn’t! I swear.”

He pursed his lips. “Well if you didn’t, then I guess it’s okay.”

“Sounding clingy, Anon?”

That escaped her way too quickly. She didn’t even think before— “No, just… wondering if I should help you out.”

“Help… me?”

He tilted his head at her. “Is that illegal?”

“No, Anon—”

“Do I smell like rotten eggs?”

“No, you smell like a five star restau—”

“Does my face look funny?”

He was looking funny with his tongue sticking out. “No! Look, Anon, it’s not you physically or… whatever the books say.”

“Then what—”

“I just didn’t expect you to want to help me.”

Now he really tilted his head at her. If he tilted any further, his neck would snap and she was not a fan— “Of course I would! Why wouldn’t I?”

Starlight knew why. She hadn’t been there for him before this all happened. She was so busy with her other friends that she couldn’t make time for him. Why would he spend extra time with her?

“Starlight—”

“Why would you want to help me?”

He hummed to himself for a moment before giving her mane another tousle. She needed to fix it later, it was probably all over the place now! “Because you’re you.”

Her muzzle wrinkled up at that one. “I don’t get it.”

He laughed and pulled her further against him. “You’ve spent so much time helping me get back on my feet that I’m obligated to do this with you. I mean, what have I done for you?”

“Plenty, you’re my stallion and—”

“Human, Starlight.”

“Coltfriend?”

He shrugged. “Boyfriend maybe.”

“Whatever,” Starlight said, waving her forehoof at him dismissively. “You’re my boyfriend. You care about me a lot and—”

“So far, I could say the same about you, but go on.”

She smiled. “—and you’re very supportive of me, apparently.”

“Somebody has to. I—ack!”

She interrupted him with a nudge. Shame on him for saying that! He—wait, was he okay?

He groaned in response, hissing through his teeth. “Uhh, what was that for?”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to hit you like that. Was supposed to be a nudge.”

“That’s a nudge?”

She snorted and nuzzled him. “Yeah… sorry.”

“You ponies and your absurd strength—egh.” Anon grunted as he attempted to get comfortable against the tree again. She sighed and watched as her human shift in place. It took him a little bit, but he eventually smiled and looked back over at her. “So are you against me helping you, then?”

“No…” Starlight muttered, her voice trailing off with her thoughts. She let out a growl. “It’s not that either. I just… don’t think you should have to do it. You’re a human and… if you were a stallion, you wouldn’t have to—”

“Are stallions lazy or something?”

She shook her head. “No, they aren’t lazy.”

“Are they not sympathetic?”

“No…”

“Then… what’s the problem?”

“It’s just not required for them, Anon. Mares are strong enough to do pretty much everything and when there’s so few stallions, everything just—eep!”

She felt his hand slightly glide against her ear, making a shiver dance down her spine. “Well too bad. I’m helping you even if I don’t have to.”

She tilted her head. “Why?”

“Because I’m bored, you’re stressed, and I love you. What other reasons do I need?”

Starlight felt her jaw disconnect from the rest of her head. She watched as he cupped her cheek and kissed her forehead.

And all she could do was wonder if getting a necklace for him would be too early or not.

Anon tilted his head at her. “Uh… Equestria to Starlight?”

She blinked rather rapidly and shook her head. “Huh?”

“Are you okay?”

Starlight didn’t know what to say. She was… shocked. Flabbergasted. Not ready. Confused. Everything and anything all at once.

She didn’t know a guy like this even existed. There were some stallions that wanted their individuality intact, but him? No, him? Anon was something else. Something different entirely. He was like a mare in a way, wanting to take control of the relationship, but not in the way that some mares do. He…

He saw it like she did, didn’t he?

She smiled. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

“Good. I would hate to have short-circuited you.”

She giggled as she snuggled into his stomach, her mane grazing his inner leg. “Lucky for you, you already helped me out with that.”

He laughed. “I might be the best boyfriend ever.”

She rolled her eyes. “Maybe, but you’ll have to prove that to me later.”

“By helping you with your office?”

“Oh yeah, I was totally understating it being a pigsty. Hope you’re not allergic to citrus juice!”

She could hear him sigh behind her, which made her giggle. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

She wanted to hate him for calling her cute, but she decided on a different tactic. She flipped over, snaked up to his face, and pecked him on the lips. “Guess I am.”

She then plopped back in her original position, much to Anon’s chagrin, if the groan was anything to go off of.

“Tease.”

“Guilty.”

The two nuzzled into each other before watching the sun descend toward the treetops.

Possible Paper Cuts in Descending Order - Anon’s Perspective

Anon held onto Starlight.

Everything was great. The date went off without a major hitch (Applejacks™ and Cereal For A Mane just had to interrupt them), and he was now holding her against his side as they walked away from Sweet Apple Acres. Hopefully Colonel Sander’s Personal Steed and A Pride Parade’s Bad Hair Day held up their end of the bargain. Not that there was a bargain to begin with.

Maybe the right word was a ‘promise’.

…

Yeah, that was the one. A promise to not tell anyone else about them until they were okay to do so. Unfortunately, Anon knew that promises were meant to be broken. It was just a matter of when.

“That sunset was good, wasn’t it?”

Starlight neighed happily beside him. “Yeah, it was! I’m glad we watched it together.”

“Same here,” Anon whispered, which made Starlight smile from ear-to-ear.

Then, she sighed. “I… I hope you’re ready to put in the work.”

He waved her off. “Pfft, it shouldn’t be that bad cleaning your office. I mean, how many papers have you stacked up in there?”

“Ten thousand three hundred and fifty-five.”

Anon blinked. “Uhh what?”

She tilted her head. “Yeah, it’s a lot, I know. I haven’t had the time to shred most of it. Too many meetings. Also, can you believe some of it is even junk mail that just so happened to float into my office? Because it’s true!” Her giggle was unbelievable. “And what makes it worse is that it maayyyy be off by a few pieces, probably eaten by the shredder that I got recently, but that’s okay. As long as it wasn’t the financial records of the entire school, we should be fine, right?” She breathed out a nervous laugh that had Anon more worried than ever.

“Right…” He held her closer because she said that, which caused her to squeak a bit. Typical Starlight noises.

Anon took a deep breath. Whatever Starlight had for him was either going to be the death of him and he was going to be looking down from above seeing his grave, or he was going to survive and have a fear of citrus. There could be a third or even a fourth option but he wasn’t going to entertain any more of them, his mind would run wild, and when his mind ran wild…

He gulped as he looked back at his mare.

She was looking up at him, smiling all the while.

That made him find something else to stare at.

“Something wrong?”

He shook his head. “N-No.”

…

“That stutter didn’t sell me, Anon.”

“Buy it anyway,” he said flatly.

“Nope.” He glanced over at Starlight and saw a smirk emblazon her, and her horn sparked in the dark. “Need a light?”

Another head shake, followed by a throat clear. “It’s not that either, but you can keep your magical LED on, I guess.”

“Regretting helping me with my office?” Starlight asked, her smirk glowing in the dark.

“No…” He was lying through his teeth right now, and he hoped she didn’t read him like a book this time. “Who would be afraid of a little stationery?”

“Papyrophobic ponies.”

“Sorry, did you just inhale some paper?”

She laughed. “I didn’t. You’re the one that asked!”

He wished he didn’t. “I guess I did.” He shook his head and put his free hand in the pocket of his pants.

The rest of the walk was uneventful. The two of them just enjoyed walking close to each other. And when they emerged from the other side of the forest and into Ponyville, there weren’t many ponies out and about. Most had returned to their homes to sleep, save for a few that Anon couldn’t recognize. Starlight did recognize one though, but she muttered it to herself and he didn’t have the willpower to actually hear her low-energy horse noises at this hour.

Under the veil of the growing night, the two walked right in front of the school. Starlight sparked her horn, flaring the magic she willed up on the door. It lit up like a thundercracker on the Fourth of July, and then it opened, letting them walk into its confines. Upon entering, the double doors thudded to a close.

And now they were in the hall where—

Starlight flared her horn and turned the lights on.

And then there was light.

“Wow, I wasn’t expecting you to—”

“Turn the lights on so quickly?” She asked, smirking at him. He nodded, which made her giggle and trot ahead of him. “Well, candles are easy to light, and I think I would know how to work a few small lamps.” She twirled in the center of the first main intersection. She pointed down one of the halls with a hoof. “My office is this way, so thankfully it’s not a long walk.”

Anon wordlessly walked behind her and nodded. The two walked down the hall, hooves clip-clopping and shoes clapping against the marble floors. Anon eventually got tired of the noise, so he stood on the carpet that decorated it, but Starlight apparently was either in her own world, too lazy to move over, or wanted to make sure Anon didn’t fall asleep, because she was still clip-clopping against that floor. He mentally groaned, wincing as the cadance grew slower, like she was doing this on purpose.

She wasn’t. She was looking at a goofy painting of Rainbow Dash for a brief moment. Wonder who added the mustache?

…

Probably Scootaloo.

“Was that mustache always there?”

Anon shrugged. “You’re asking me this when I haven’t even stepped foot in here before?”

She turned around and looked at him with a raised brow. “Really? This is your first time?”

“Yep. First time. Twilight was supposed to bring me here, but every time she was supposed to, someone else had her number first.”

“...”

“Starlight?”

“Sorry, was in my head there for a moment.”

“Tired?” he asked, observing her face as she turned tail.

“No, just… thinking.” She flicked her tail on the word ‘thinking’. “Thinking about tomorrow, primarily.”

Anon hummed to himself in thought. “Are you planning on—”

“Bringing you in as a guest speaker next week? Oh, definitely. And for the week after.”

He gulped. “Is this something I can say no to?”

She blinked rapidly.

“Going to take that as a no.”

She squealed happily. “You’re learning!”

They continued to walk down the hall, before Starlight took a sharp left at a room with a really decorated door. It had plumes of magic and stars on her window, followed by a crudely-written line of text in somepony’s hoof writing: Headmare Starlight’s Office. Not sure why her office wasn’t connected to some sort of waiting room where the secretary could lambast anyone who even walked in, but Anon didn’t even need to know why. The proof was in the pudding, and why he was now imagining a horrible nightmare, where papers stacked nearly endlessly to the sky. There were a few first aid kits in this nightmare too, and they all had his name etched onto them. The amount of paper cuts…

Anon shivered as Starlight opened the door. The lights inside the room flickered.

“Are you coming in, Anon?”

“Coming…”

Begrudgingly, Anon stumbled into the room. Inside, he was smacked with a flashbang of light and a few white squares of snow. A sharp contrast from the dimly lit halls of the school. Once his eyes adjusted, he spied on that white square being stacked nearly to the ceiling, and another to his left at a much smaller stack (it reached his shoulder, so it was still tall enough to groan about). Ahead of him were a few extremely tiny stacks in a much larger bin/box hybrid labeled ‘Complaints and Grievances’. He didn’t even want to know what was in there.

Starlight was behind the desk, making sure her chair didn’t scuff the floor or something.

“Welcome to my second home!”

“Your second home?”

An airy laugh escaped his mare. “Yes. The first home is better, but we’re avoiding that one until we get to talk to Twilight.”

Anon licked his lips as he took in his surroundings. “Is that why you’ve been staying over at my place?”

She blushed. “No, that… wasn’t what I was planning.”

He smirked. “Guess I’m irresistible.”

“Actually…” She rolled her eyes and leaned toward his direction. “Yes, you are.”

He walked over to her and rewarded her with a mane floofing of a lifetime. He could hear her squeak and neigh rather annoyingly, but he didn’t care. Mare mane go floof. He observed his work with a smile and nodded. “And now so are you.”

She blushed. “Anon…”

“Right… cleaning. Mind telling me what you actually need done?”

She magicked her mane back to normal and clopped her forehooves together. “I’m glad you asked! So, I need to clean all these papers off my desk, and then organize them in the stacks I have. Some of them may need to be shredded, but that’s okay! And then once we do all of that, then we could probably make sure the floor is cleaned/swept.” She looked down at the floor again. “Actually, we could just sweep it. It’s not dirty right now.”

“It’ll probably get dirty due to all the papers we’re going to have to sacrifice to Celestia.”

A giggle sparked fanfare. “Let’s avoid waking Celestia up. She needs her sleep.”

He snorted. “Then let’s get this done quickly.”

“Why’s that?” She asked with a slight head tilt.

“Because if we don’t, I’ll probably get more paper cuts than ever. And trust me, Mayor Mare has an eye for those.”

“I’ll make sure you won’t have anything visible.”

A stack of papers whipped by Anon’s face.

“Should I quickly ask somepony for some protective headgear?”

“There’s nothing magic can’t fix!” she sang as she rolled in her chair.

And that was that. The sounds of paper shuffling and Anon flicking a piece of paper with his hand filled the air. And they filled them for several hours, with the two talking about the room, how stupid this whole thing was, and why it didn’t get them any closer to resolving things with Twilight (the last two initiated by Anon, of course). Starlight obliged them all, telling him to stop being a baby, that he’s a human not a stallion, and that they’ll live (probably). She whispered that last part and that bothered him immensely.

He frowned. “Are we almost done?”

Much to his chagrin, she shook her head. “Got another stack here and—”

“Fluttershy, who in Ponyville would be here at this hour?”

A third voice definitely made Anon jump out of his skin. Was that…

“I don’t know, Rarity, but somepony left the lights on, and Starlight’s office is open.”

Starlight’s eyes widened.

Anon facepalmed.

This wasn’t going to end well, was it?

Author's Note

Credit given to Randomaneer123 for the Colonel Sanders Personal Steed and A Pride Parade's Bad Hair Day names.

Song(s) for this chapter:

Edits completed on January 3rd, 2025.