Chapter One: The Light Before Dusk
My last memory is of my death. I remember the vice-like grip of the rope, unyielding in its desire to collapse my trachea. Even now as I find myself in a prison of shadows, my memory of the coarse rope digging into my skin to the point of numbness is forever branded into my mind. I recall the moment the realization of death took hold of me. Adrenaline coursed through my veins and I desperately pulled at the rope in hopes of escaping. My teary eyes squeezed shut, realizing my efforts were pointless. My lungs burned as if they were filled with blazing brimstone. Time froze as I realized that I would die the same way I lived: alone.
In the chasm of shadows, a disembodied voice pierces the veil of silence. It is similar to my own…but wrong in a way I cannot describe.
“The time of my imprisonment has expired by your hands. For that, I thank you. We will meet again.”
Suddenly, the darkness is engulfed by a brilliant white light.
✤ ✤ ✤
My eyes shoot open in a cold sweat only to be met with blurry vision. It is as if I’m looking through a window covered in the early morning frost of winter. I blink repeatedly and shift my eyes behind my eyelids hoping my vision will clear. My prayers are soon answered as my sight returns to normal, allowing me to focus more on my surroundings. I find myself in a hospital bed tucked under pastel blue cotton sheets. I hear the choir of the heart monitor’s beeps and the chirps of the birds outside the nearby window. The curtains are open, bathing my bed in the warm, honey rays of the sun.
Tears well up behind my eyes and my head sinks into my pillow. It is as soft as a marshmallow. I want nothing more than to lie here and take in the comfort of my bed.
Someone must have found me before I was gone for good. I never want to experience that again.
I notice the overbed table and atop it is a tray of food possessing beans, toast, apple slices, and…hay. My eyebrows squish together.
What kind of hospital serves hay? Hays for horses.
My gaze shifts and falls on a second tray that accompanies my own. However, unlike mine, its contents have been eaten leaving only bits of food here and there.
There is no way in HELL someone ate the hay!
However, the evidence is overwhelming as I spot a few pieces of hay left on the tray.
Intent on finding the culprit, I look over to the side of the bed the empty tray is closest to.
My head jerks back and a loud yelp escapes my lips at the sight of the slumbering creature. My sudden cry startles it, causing the beast to wake up and release a scream.
The creature is equine in appearance. It possesses a coat of lavender and a dark, purple mane with a pink streak running through it. On each side of its body are feathery wings and a singular spiraling horn atop its head. Its appearance reminds me of a show my mom forced me to watch with my younger sister years ago so I would spend time with her. However, I only glanced at the TV here and there, more focused on scrolling through social media than the show.
Did hanging myself permanently damage my brain?! Am I seeing things?!
My heart beats against my chest as if attempting a desperate escape and my thoughts scramble to make sense of the anomaly before me. Then, it did the unexpected.
It spoke.
“Phew! Thank Celestia, you’re finally awake! You gave me a scare there. Are you feeling well?”
Without breaking eye contact, I scurry away from what I assume is a “she” based on her voice. In my escape, I accidentally knocked over the trays and collapsed onto the floor. The linoleum ground knocks the air out of my lungs and an unfamiliar rush of pain accompanies the fall. Rolling over to investigate, I find at my side a feathery wing poking out of my hospital gown. Not only that, but my body is no longer human. Instead, it has an equine appearance similar to what sits at my bedside.
I quickly sit up and look at my shaking hands—no, hooves. I release another short cry, but it comes as a neigh.
No, no, no, none of this is real! I must be dreaming! No, this all feels too real to be a dream!
The creature gallops over to my side, “Are you alright?! You’re not hurt are you?!”
She reaches out a hoof toward me, but I flinch away from it. I stand on all four of my new appendages only to slip in haste.
“S–Stay away from me! I’m not like you!” I want nothing more than this entire nightmare to end.
“Well…about that.” The horn atop her head is bathed in a brilliant magenta light, and a spoon is engulfed in a similar hue from one of the trays. She levitates it before me. In its reflective surface, I observe a masculine face with two mint green eyes looking back. My head has no horn like the equine before me, only a turquoise mane left unkempt from my time in bed. I have a thick coat that matches my royal blue wings.
She opens her mouth to speak but the door to my room bursts open.
The abrupt noise causes me to involuntarily spread my wings and give them one strong flap—propelling me into the ceiling. I plummet to the floor as tiny bits of ceiling debris rain onto me.
“Is everypony alright?! I heard screams!” Barging into the room is another one of those creatures. This one is a white equine with a pink mane and a nurse’s cap but lacking wings and a horn. Her eyes dart around the room only to land on the two of us, likely wondering why one of us is levitating a spoon before a fearful patient.
“Not to worry, I have everything under control, Nurse Redheart.” On cue, one of the ceiling panels slams to the floor. “Well…almost everything.” A flush creeps across her lavender cheeks.
Narrowing her eyes, Nurse Redheart inches out of the room and closes the door without taking her gaze off the two of us.
My resident psychic sits across from me and floats the spoon back to where it came from.
“Everything’s going to be fine. My name is Twilight Sparkle and I’m the Princess of Friendship. I can see you’re scared, but rest assured you’re safe here,” Twilight says in a comforting tone. My heartbeat steadies. Hoping to get out of here as soon as possible, I nod slowly. “I’m sure you have many questions and I’m happy to answer them! After investigating that crater the girls and I found you in, I have a few questions myself.” Twilight’s horn glows again, but a pencil and notepad floats over to us this time. They levitate before her giddy smile, an expression that grates my nerves. I snap my head away. “It would be efficient and fair if we take turns asking each other questions. I’ll go first! What’s your name and where are you from?”
“I’m…” I rummage through my mind but can find no trace of my name. I remember my family, that I’m originally human and from Earth, and…why I killed myself. I never want to return to my old life for as long as I live. Twilight leans toward me, giving me rapt attention. I lean back. “I…I don’t remember my name and I rather not talk about my old life. Just know that I’m not from this world nor was I originally a…”
“...pony?”
“Yeah. A pony. Sorry to disappoint you as I’m sure you want to know all you can about me but beyond my old life, which I’m not sharing, I don’t know anything else at the moment.” Twilight leans back and her giddy smile weakens.
“No, no, no, I’m not disappointed! Just…” She levitates the pencil and notepad to the ground and clasps her forehooves together, “...It’s your turn to ask questions!”
If I want to figure out a course of action beyond getting out of this hospital and escaping my interrogator, I need to collect my thoughts and gather what information I can about my circumstances.
“You mentioned you and some others finding me in a crater. Could you tell me everything you know about my situation?”
“Let's see. For starters, you’ve been unconscious in Ponyville Hospital for one week. I’ve visited your room ever since my friends and I admitted you here, sometimes they would accompany me. One week ago, a giant column of light that could be seen all over Equestria appeared momentarily. After it vanished, the Cutie Map alerted my friends and me of a friendship problem in the exact coordinates of the phenomenon’s occurrence: the edges of Equestria. Once we reached our destination, we found you in a crater's center and took you back to Ponyville after noticing you were still breathing. I returned to the crater on an expedition, curious as to what could have caused that pillar of light and hoping to learn more about your involvement with it to report to Princess Celestia; but, strangely, there were no signs of a spell being used nor remnants of any magical artifact. After returning home empty-hooved, I accepted that if I wanted answers I would have to wait for you to wake up. However, it looks like not even you can help satiate my curiosity…
…It’s not a problem though! You’re living proof that there’s more to our reality than we know! The idea of other universes existing beyond the realms of fiction and scientific speculation is exciting! I’m dying to know which of my multiverse theories is correct!” A sparkle glows in her eyes and the strength of her smile returns.
I stand shakily, this time more methodical in my approach. I may be a stranger to this body, but I’m no stranger to horses and how they move, having seen them before personally and in films. My mobility is just a matter of mimicking their movement. “Okay, well, thanks for the help, I appreciate what you and your friends did for me. If you and your friends ever need assistance, just let me know as I hate owing others. Until then, I’m checking out of here to get some fresh air and determine a course of action. See ya.”
“Wait!” Twilight springs to her hooves and steps in front of me, earning her my frown. “You can’t go off on your own! You’re in a new world surrounded by ponies you’re not familiar with! Where are you going to live? How are you going to eat? Furthermore, there's a matter of solving your friendship problem.” Twilight makes a few small steps toward me to which I raise a hoof to stop her.
“I’ll figure it out on my own, trial-and-error and whatnot, you know? Also, I don’t have a ‘friendship problem’.”
‘Friendship problem’? That has to be one of the dumbest things I’ve heard. How can anyone be so persistent over friendship of all things? I’ve never needed something so fragile. All it takes is one mistake for it to crack…
I remember the cold prison that was my old life and the image of the coarse rope pressing against my throat flashes in my mind. Pressure creeps around my throat and I hyperventilate. I reach for my neck but find nothing. My breathing gradually steadies and my eyes pool with water. I bite the inside of my cheek and blink rapidly to stave off the tears. Twilight floats a box of tissue toward me but I smack it away. She sighs.
“‘Trial-and-error’ is not a method of problem-solving you want to use when it comes to your survival, especially when I’m here and willing to help you. According to the Cutie Map, you have a friendship problem and you seem troubled. Just let me help you and we can figure this ou—”
“For the last time, I don’t have a friendship problem! You’ve helped enough, and for that I thank you, but I can take it from here. Now, leave. Me. Alone!” She winces. My heart pounds in my ear like a war drum and I stomp around her to its beat.
I didn’t need anyone’s help. I want nothing more than to be left to my own devices.
I make it to the closed door. I look at the doorknob, then at one of my fingerless hooves.
Shit.
The doorknob glows and twists, opening the door. I look back to Twilight and find her sitting turned away from me in a stooped posture. An emptiness haunts my chest, my heart lost in the dark pit of a dry well. I’m exhausted and standing here feels like a struggle.
I avert my gaze from her, “Um. Thanks, again.”
I leave the room and wander the hallway, following signs that point toward the front desk.
✤ ✤ ✤
Freedom is now within my grasp. I’m escorted out of Ponyville Hospital by Nurse Redheart who holds open the door with a hoof.
How do they open doors without fingers?!
Then reality hits me.
How will I pay the hospital for its services?
My mouth dries as I look back at her, “Um. Listen, I don’t have any money right now to pay my hospital bills and I’m unemployed. Asking hypothetically, is there any place around here that’ll hire without requiring proof of citizenship?”
Nurse Redheart glances around as if looking for hidden cameras. “What bills? Healthcare is free in Equestria. Why would anypony need to pay for something important for their quality of life?”
Damn. Maybe this world won’t be so bad after all.
“Never mind, forget I said anything. Thanks for the help!”
As I go down the path from the hospital, warmth flows throughout my body…too much warmth. I sweat under the blazing heat of the sun. The occasional breeze is my only respite.
Ugh, I hate the heat! I need to get rid of this thick coat, but even if I found a barber here I don’t have any money! I can figure something out, I just need to think.
Entering the town, I’m greeted with a sight only thought possible in fantasy.
The picturesque village is teeming with life and is wealthy with a medley of thatch roof cottages these ponies call their homes. I amble past their wooden doors, appreciating the unique symbols expertly carved on the pastel surface of each. The windows are embellished with trailing flowers that add a kaleidoscope of color that gorgeously contrasts the earth-tone roads that crunch underneath my hooves with each step. The fragrance of fresh-cut grass lingers in the air. I pass ponies of diverse hues and ages who lounge under the shade of vibrant emerald trees; shop at stands bountiful with fruits, herbs, and vegetables; and stroll under the clear azure skies. Towering over the serene village is a crystal castle fashioned like a tree. Its iridescent exterior sparkles under the radiant light of the sun.
Life seems slow here and down-to-earth. I can see myself living in this village.
Strangely, some ponies analyze my butt with baffled looks on their faces as if observing an optical illusion. However, I ignore them, more focused on how friendly the ponies are with each other. The smiling. The playing. The hugging.
On second thought…
The idea of feeling the warmth of another pressing against my body is a sickening thought…yet why does a subtle ache haunt my heart?
Focus! Self-sufficiency is key to surviving and carving out a life here on my own. To do this, I require two things: knowledge of this world and a source of income. Unfortunately, in both cases, I’ll have to rely on others, albeit momentarily. Luckily, that doesn’t mean I have to make friends, just associates. If I can find a way to build a good reputation here, maybe these ponies will be willing to network with m—
The world around me returns to focus as my body bumps into something—no, someone. This violation of my personal space compels me to jerk a hoof forward to push the invader away…too roughly. The yellow, winged pony tumbles back, kicking up dust as she slides through the dirt. Her pink mane is a mess. Trembling, she sits up and stares at me with wide eyes in disbelief.
I glance at the ponies who look on at the scene in a mix of horror and anger.
I shake, sweating more than before under this unbearable heat as riled up ponies crowd around me. Any potential to build a good reputation has vanished. The world becomes more distant. The emptiness returns to isolate my heart and drain me of energy. It feels like a burden to simply stand.
It was an accident! Are they gonna lynch me?! Okay, okay, stop shaking, stop shaking, remain calm, and just think
However, in my thoughts, I only find the horrified face of the pony I pushed. I only ever wanted to be alone, not cause trouble for others. Not like before…
I hyperventilate as a familiar pressure manifests around my neck. I shake my head repeatedly, then snap. I retreat over the angry mob in a single bound and withdraw from the scene in a panic.
✤ ✤ ✤
My face sinks into the soil chilled from the night air, but while it cools my body, it does nothing to relieve me from the hollowness in my chest. It’s as if during my escape I left behind my heart. However, if I did, I didn’t have the energy to retrieve it. Even as the putrid odor of the nearby dumpster invades my nostrils, I put up no struggle to distance myself. Instead, I allow the stench to engulf me as I lie here.
My only opportunity to have a better life than my last and I blew it. There goes my plans. It’s not like they were going to work anyway, who would ever want to work with me? I’ll just mess something up like I always do…
My body is a burden as if made of lead. My eyelids grow heavy and I succumb to their desire to shut.
A growl emanates from my stomach and my eyes shoot open.
Oh yeah, I haven’t eaten all day…
My eyes shift toward the dumpster and a sour taste infests my mouth.
On the bright side, I won’t have to go hungry. Something’s better than nothing.
I strain my legs as I stand and sluggishly walk to the dumpster. I stand on my back legs, pressing a forehoof on the dumpster for support, and use the other to pry open the lid. A gust of nauseating air, worse than before, propels itself into my face. My head twists away and I gag several times as bile creeps up my throat. Determined to make the best of my situation, I give one great swallow to push the bile down, then hold my breath as I look back at the unholy mess of torn black bags, sticky from their spoiled contents.
I’m so glad healthcare is free here.
“What are you doing here?”
I jump at the voice, my forehoof slips and I collapse into the dirt.
Looking up, I find the familiar face of a lavender pony. I avert my eyes and stare at the ground.
“Just doing my new job as the Ponyville trash inspector,” I say sarcastically.
“A trash inspection? Behind Sugar Cube Corner in the middle of the night?” Twilight says in a monotone voice.
“And what are you doing here?”
“I finished helping a friend who works here with inventory.” There is a moment of silence as I feel Twilight’s eyes examine the mess of a pony lying before her. “I’m sorry about earlier. You must be going through a lot being in an unfamiliar world only to have somepony you don’t know try to force themselves into your life. I guess I came off a bit strong. If you ever need anypony just know that I’m still here and willing to help if you.”
My little appetite is taken away as my stomach tightens into knots thinking of our incident from earlier.
“No. You shouldn't have to apologize. Admittedly, I was a jerk and should have let you help me instead of losing my temper.” A heavy sigh escapes my lips and I look up to her, “I accept your help, but I just…I just don’t want to make any friends, alright? All I want is to live a better life here than my previous life. One where I don’t have to be deeply involved in the lives of others.”
Twilight gives an understanding nod and a soft smile, “To be fair, I can’t force you to make friends, that’s entirely your decision. That being the case, I can help you find your place in this world. I just need you to trust me.”
She holds out a hoof. Strangely, the hollowness in my chest lessens as warmth spreads throughout my body, combating the cool night air. My body feels lighter.
I ignore her hoof and rise on my own.
Twilight sniffs the air, then covers her wrinkling nose, “Ugh, let's get you back to my place so you can shower and get some food.”
