Once per Day

I sat upon one of the thrones with the pony's bags on my lap. She sat just before me on the dias, looking up at me anxiously as I rifled through her bags.

"So, uh, what do I call you?" She nervously asked. I cast a glare at her before narrowing my eyes, causing her to shrink away and swallow.

"Victor," I replied. She blinked and sat up.

"Oh. Well-"

"Or Master Victor, if you know what's good for you," I added, still in my wizard voice. Her expression soured and she sighed grumpily. I returned my attention to her bags. They were mostly empty save for a half-full metal flask, a wrapped oat cake, and a little satchel of metal tools, including a well-used file, and a pair of thin hooked metal rods.

"What're these for?" I demanded, looking over her tools. She looked up and then jolted.

"Oh, you know," she laughed nervously. I raised an eyebrow and she wilted. "Breaking locks 'n stuff." I raised an eyebrow and hummed as I returned the tools to her pack.

"Tell me your name, servant," I demanded.

"Sneaky Salvage," she mumbled, looking off to the side. I managed to hold back a laugh.

"I," I cleared my throat and rubbed my face. "I see. And what were you doing here, Sneaky? Before I came along and gave you renewed and exemplary purpose, I mean."

"Tryin' to make money," she quietly replied, pawing at the ground as she did. "The princesses left a bunch of stuff here that nopony's ever grabbed. Valuable stuff. That's why I left so much space in my bags." I hummed and rubbed my chin.

"You in debt or something?" She screwed up her face and gave me an incredulous leer.

"No?" She scoffed. I shrugged.

"So, what do you need-"

"You serious?" She snorted, looking me up and down. "I dunno how weirdo evil magic monsters see things, but if you ask me you can never have too much money." I pursed my lips as she spoke.

"More money means less work, and if it's easy money that's even better," she added with a proud smirk. Then, she sighed and her expression drooped. "Like what this place was supposed to be." I hummed and nodded.

"Fair enough. But if this place is so easy, how do you know no one else hasn't looted it already?"

"Most ponies respect the princesses too much to plunder their old home," she explained with a shrug and nodded her head back towards the door. "Others are scared off by the traps that fill most of the halls here." I blanched and raised my eyebrows.

"Traps?"

"Yep! Every passage besides the main one I was trotting down is allegedly trapped," she replied and looked me up and down critically. "Except whatever tomb you crawled out of too, I guess. Where'd you say you came from again?"

"The woods," I hissed enigmatically, causing her to shiver. "And I took the main hall, too. So, I didn't notice any traps. Are any of them.. Deadly?" She squinted and tilted her head.

"Probably? Why, is that-" She blinked and then smiled sweetly before petting my leg. "Don't worry, Master! You just follow me if we explore more of this place!" She stood up and turned, presenting the side of her rear leg. On it was a tattoo of a stylized red eye with a coin in its pupil.

"I've got a talent for spotting stuff, so I'm great at spotting traps!" She declared, doing a spin before winking at me. "I won't let any of them kill you!" I smirked and leaned forward, pointing right at her nose.

"You better not, and to clarify for my curse's sake, that's an order," I replied. Her sweet expression melted immediately, and she stamped her hoof.

"Dang it! I hate you!"

"HA!" I barked and waved my hand. "And in any case, I'm more concerned about finding something to eat than filling my pockets." I held up and examined the cake she'd brought.

"Doesn't seem like you packed enough for two, so! First, we're going foraging. Since you're so good at spotting stuff, I'm sure we can find something." Sneaky let out a hearty groan and threw her head back.

"C'mon! I don't wanna work!"She desperately squealed. "There's probably something edible in the kitchens!" I frowned and looked up at the door.

"How long has this place been abandoned?" I asked. She recoiled and scrunched her muzzle before averting her eyes. That was kind of telling.

"Well," she stared off for a moment before perking up and raising a hoof. "Hey! The princesses use magic for everything! They might've preserved some stuff with their magic!" She gave a hopeful smile and brought her forehooves together in a pleading gesture. I hummed and eyed her critically before slowly nodding.

"Alright. We'll give that a shot," I replied causing her to sigh with relief. I rose from my seat and thrust my hand forward. "Lead the way!"

"Pitfall," Sneaky chirped, trotting along without a care. She skipped to the side and then carried on, and I crept after her, following her path exactly. Then she immediately skipped to the other side. "'Nother pitfall!"

I squawked and nearly stumbled into it before catching myself and hurling myself against the safe wall. I looked up and down the stone corridor she was leading me.

"Why are there so many-" I cried out as she kicked my legs out from under me. As soon as I hit the ground the wall I'd been leaning against swept up on a hinge, revealing a metal slide into darkness.

"Careful!" She chided with a wink as the wall slipped shut again. "That wall's a trap, too."

"Thank you," I growled through a forced smile.

"You're welcome," she replied before gasping. "But gee! You're sure having trouble keeping up with how tall and clumsy you are! Maybe you should consider crawling?"

I huffed and rolled to my hands and knees. "Fair. And maybe you should consider giving me more warning about all of these?" I glanced back over my shoulder. "And again, why are there so many? I thought princesses lived here?"

"Yep! That was like a thousand years ago, though," she explained as she continued leading and scanning the path ahead. "From what I hear, Celestia and her sister liked to prank each other way back when."

"'Prank' is definitely a word for it," I huffed as I began crawling after her before realization struck. "A thousand years?!" She jumped from my volume and cast a bewildered look my way.

"Y-yeah? What about it?"

I snarled and jabbed a finger at her. "A thousand years is a pretty damned long time for any kind of preservation." She blinked and then gave a bashful smile.

"True," she hesitantly began before shrugging. "But they're both still alive so their.. Old spells.. Might still be working?" Her smile brightened briefly but wilted in the face of my furious scowl. However, my own expression softened as I considered her words.

"Still alive?"

"Y-yeah?" She murmured in response, before casting a critical look my way. "Everypony knows they're immortal or something. Where'd you say you're-"

"THE WOODS!" I yelled and thrust my hand at her, causing her to cry out. "LEAD ON!"

"Okay!" She angrily squealed before stomping down the hall. I crawled after her, mulling that revelation over. Immortal rulers? What the heck was going on in this show? And as a wizard, could I get in on it?

Questions for later.

For now, I followed Sneaky's lead. It wasn't too long before we came upon a door that she pushed open, revealing a dark, dusty room. Sneaky pulled out her lantern and lit it, revealing a long stone table on which a ton of cooking supplies, like a cutting board and knives, as well as a cast iron stove, and wall-length empty shelves.

I scanned the room after rising to my full height and then scowled at Sneaky. She retorted with a nervous smile before blinking and looking past me.

"Ha! See? Told you!" She declared and pointed behind me. I turned and saw the top shelf just behind me had a shimmering glass case, inside of which sat some seemingly still-fresh carrots.

"Huh," I muttered before scowling and pointing at it. "Go grab 'em."

"Huh?" She grumbled. "Why?"

"I don't trust like that," I replied. She groaned before fluttering up to the shelf and grabbing the case. She hauled it to the table and set it and her lantern down, allowing me to get a look at it.

"Happy?" She groused. I frowned and looked over the case. It was shimmering just like the script in my book, which kind of hinted at it being magic. But what were the chances of this magic being another hilarious prank by the psycho sisters?

"Try one," I demanded. Sneaky blinked and rolled her eyes before popping the case open and grabbing a carrot. She bit into it and made a show of chewing it at me.

"Mm! Mm! MMmmm," she grumbled and swallowed. "Happy now? Cause I'll gladly eat 'em all myself." I frowned and slowly nodded as I took one myself.

"Acceptable," I declared. "Excellent work, Sneaky." I scanned the rest of the room and hummed.

"Water's still an issue," I mumbled. A heavy metallic thunk drew my attention to the table.

"I got water in my flask," Sneaky declared, sliding her flask to me. I hummed and carefully took a drink as she hopped passed me and made for the door. "I'm gonna see if I can find the little filly's room."

"Hurry back. See if you can find me something to brush my teeth with while you're at it," I said.

"Sure thing!" She chirped as she trotted out. I paused before realizing my mistake.

"And if you do find something, don't you dare do anything to it! That's an order!" I yelled after her, earning a roar of frustration in response. Humphing, I took a seat on the table, pulled my books from the back of my belt, and began idly munching my carrot.

Discord had mentioned when we parted that I should practice with my magic, but how exactly was I supposed to do that? I figured if my magic was ripped from these books, the answer probably lay within. Flipping through, I quickly found something that fit the bill.

"Experience points are awarded by blah-blah-blah, prime requisite, meh-meh-meh," I read aloud, tracing the lines with my finger. "Defeat monsters and obtain treasure. So, if I get money and kill shit, I'll get better magic, huh?"

Before I could give it more thought, Sneaky came bursting in, scaring the shit out of me, and slammed the door shut. She looked up at me with a crazed, desperate face. "It's Honeysuckle! She found me!"

"Who?" I stood and asked. Before she could answer the door swung open and a team of three ponies in golden armor flew in, dog-piling her.

"Got you!" One cried.

"Freeze!" Another demanded.

"Stop resisting!" The last added.

"I didn't do it!" Sneaky screamed.

I watched in stunned silence as they scrambled on the ground with Sneaky, managing to force a set of manacles on her forehooves. For her part, Sneaky managed to kick one of the guys, of which there were two, in the nose, sending him sprawling. This wasn't enough to save her and she was quickly pinned.

"You're finished, Sneaky!" The girl guard spat as she yanked her bags off.

"Victor! Help!" Sneaky screamed, snapping me out of my stupor and drawing the trio's attention to me.

"What the heck is that?" One asked.

"Some kind of monster!" The guy who'd been kicked gasped, still lying on his back.

"Lieutenant!" The girl cried, shooting a look back the way they'd come.

"Uh," I began before the sound of rattling metal cut me off. Turning to the door, I watched a unicorn pony enter. This one was white with poofy black hair that covered its eyes and was clothed in a coat of silver scales under a golden tunic, with a sheathed rapier hanging at its side.

"Honeysuckle," Sneaky hissed, struggling in vain against her captors. 'Honeysuckle' was focused solely on me. "Get her, Victor! Use your magic!" The three ponies gasped, while Honeysuckle just subtly tilted her head.

"It has magic! Lieutenant, be careful!" One cried. Honeysuckle hummed quietly and took a few steps towards me before standing with her sword side away from me. She looked me up and down and adopted a faint sneer.

"You'd better watch it!" I howled, raising my hands at uneven levels like a pair of claws. I held my books away from her, which caused her to momentarily glance at them. "You heard her! I wield power you cannot imagine." The three armored ponies fearfully squeaked. Honeysuckle remained stalwart. I grit my teeth and slowly drew one foot back, bracing to run.

"I'll blast the flesh right from your bones!" I hissed and crouched to point at her. "I will carry you along a whole new spectrum of pain, you dull-"

Shwing.

I shivered as little flecks of blood were spattered across her unmoving face. My eyes slowly drifted to the left, where her sword was outstretched, held up by a weird, faint bubble that was colored the same as the light emanating from her horn. Then, my eyes drifted back to the right, where my right arm was outstretched.

And missing its hand. And leaking a lot of blood.

I squeaked, dropped my books, and slowly dropped to my knees, clutching my stump.

"Wooo," I huffed and began hyperventilating. A single hoof step drew my attention forward to see her pointing her sword at my throat. I fell back and swallowed hard before gasping and mumbling. Then, I managed to find proper words and held up my good hand. "Choose peace?"

She shook her head with visible disgust before whipping her sword around and nailing me in the head with the pommel.