Pinkie Pie & Your Fleshlight

It was an ordinary Sunday afternoon. You had just finished a busy work week as one of the most skilled trauma surgeons in Equestria. After all, you were the only one in the whole country with fingers and opposable thumbs. Your lack of squeamishness or fear around blood was also a significant advantage. While your work in the trauma clinic in Ponyville was generally successful and lucrative, it was undoubtedly stressful. You bore the responsibilities of a gastroenterologist, orthopedic surgeon, and trauma specialist simultaneously, mending broken bones, replacing hips and shoulders, and performing emergency cecectomies and other GI procedures (common given the physiology of horses).

Before being transported to Equestria in a freak accident, you had been a third-year resident physician in a general surgery residency in the Midwest. After this dramatic change in your life, you had to learn an entirely different anatomy in a new environment, amidst a culture that did not emphasize surgery or intensive care within Equestria’s limited hospital infrastructure. Although you were paid extremely well for your life-saving services, you found it difficult to cope with the stress. With the money you earned in just one year, you bought a large four-bedroom house outside the center of Ponyville, furnished it, and even invited one especially nice and optimistic pony, Pinkie Pie, to live with you, allowing her to move out of the house of Mr. & Mrs. Cake. It was a nice change of pace for both of you. Even on Earth, you had lived a pretty solitary life, but having Pinkie around made all the difference. Her attitude and positivity created a lively environment in the house, even when she was out interacting with the rest of the Main 6.

At around 9 pm, the sun had long since set in the west, creating the perfect environment to unwind and relax a bit after a weekend of catching up on patient notes and primary care referrals from Dr. Horse and other providers who sent their patients to Ponyville just to see you. Pinkie Pie was out of the house; she had told you she was going to a slumber party at Twilight Sparkle’s house. Deciding that you probably had time and certainly the privacy, you set out to relieve some stress. After all, it would be a calming end to a hectic week and would allow you to feel sleepy enough to get a decent amount of rest before waking up early for the endoscopies you had scheduled for 6 am the next morning. It would only take 10-15 minutes; you had already taken a shower earlier in the day, so you could go to sleep afterward. It seemed like the perfect plan.

With the computer screen in front of you, you closed your patient note-filling software, logged out of the EMR, and opened a new tab, looking for the right material. You had some search terms that had spoken to you more than ever since arriving in Equestria, and you were soon on the right path. Thank goodness you could still access Earth websites through a handy-dandy VPN.

Within a few minutes, you were engrossed in the material in front of you, fortunately not needing to wear earphones as you usually did when Pinkie was home. After all, you didn’t want to corrupt her mind with any of your more... adult vices. You took out your fleshlight, a bright pink rubber toy, which was relatively clean from the last time you used it two weeks ago, from a drawer filled with miscellaneous pens and binder clips. After placing it on the desk beside you (just to keep the option available, of course), you focused on the material you had found. Just as you were getting into things, right in the heat of the moment, about halfway through an enthralling 20-minute video...

Pinkie Pie burst into your room, opening the door with her hoof in her signature energetic way, her vibrant pink mane bouncing with each step as she walked across the threshold. She wore an excited smile, her eyes wide with curiosity.

"Hey there, Anon! OOH! What are you up to?" Pinkie exclaimed, her voice filled with boundless energy. "Ooh, is that a new toy?” she said pointing to the cylinder you had placed on the desk beside you. “Can I play with it?"

“Oh my GOD. Holy crap! What are you doing back so early?” you asked her as you attempted to cover yourself, your heart now beating through your chest. Within milliseconds, your face flushed with embarrassment as you realized Pinkie, your closest friend in Equestria and housemate, had caught you in the act of watching porn. Your mind raced, searching for the right words to explain the situation. But before you could speak, Pinkie hopped onto your bed, located just behind you and your computer chair, bouncing up and down for a few seconds in an immature, carefree manner. Soon, however, she calmed down and her eyes fixed on the monitor.

"Wow! What's that on your screen?" Pinkie leaned in, her voice filled with fascination. "It looks so interesting! Can I take a closer look?"

You stumbled over your words, attempting to find a way to address the situation. However, Pinkie paid no attention to your flustered state and only leaned in closer to the screen, her eyes widening in wonder and shock.

"Those ponies... um, I mean, humans are doing some really... ummmmmm, fascinating things!" Pinkie exclaimed, her voice filled with innocent curiosity. "What are they doing, Anon? Why are they moaning like that? Are they in pain or something? I know I moan like that when I have to carry really heavy orders from Sugarcube Corner…"

Your throat went dry as you tried to come up with a suitable explanation. Taking a deep breath, you decided to approach the topic with a touch of humor.

"Well, Pinkie, those are... um... adult videos," you began, your voice tinged with awkwardness. "They're meant for... um... grown-ups to watch when they're feeling... uh... in the mood."

Pinkie Pie tilted her head to the side, her eyes wide with wonder as she attempted to process your explanation.

"I guess that’s fine…I mean, after all, I’m an adult. I got my cutie mark and everything,” she says bearing her flank proudly.

“Well…it’s a bit different than that, Pinkie.”

“Okayyy. So... are they, like, playing a party game?" Pinkie asked, her voice filled with genuine curiosity. "Are they having a lot of fun? I wanna join in too!"

A nervous chuckle escaped your lips as you realized the innocent interpretation Pinkie Pie had taken. It was both a little endearing and frankly quite amusing.

"Well, Pinkie, it's not exactly a ‘party game’," you clarified, your voice laced with gentle humor. "It's more like... um... a private activity that people do when they're alone."

Understanding dawned in Pinkie's eyes, though it seemed to be a half-understanding at best.

"Ohhhh, I get it now!" Pinkie exclaimed, her voice overflowing with excitement now. "It's like when I have my alone time with my cupcakes and throw confetti parties in my room! Only, with humans and... different kinds of parties!"

You couldn't help but laugh at Pinkie's comparison, her enthusiasm infectious even in this awkward moment. Despite your best efforts to tell her about the importance of cleaning up after her one-pony parties, you had often come home to messy scenes with confetti, glitter, and small party props covering the ground.

"Yeah, something like that, Pinkie!" you replied, your voice filled with genuine mirth. "It's just a personal thing that people enjoy in their own way. But, um, maybe we should focus on something else right now, like planning our next party in Ponyville?"

Pinkie Pie nodded eagerly, but then abruptly changed her demeanor and shook her head; her curiosity did not appear sated as she hopped off your bed.

“Nahh, I don’t think I want to talk about that right now. I’m muuuch more interested in this stuff,” she said, gesturing toward the screen.

Still brimming with boundless energy, took a step closer to you, coming up with her head positioned just beyond your left knee as she looked at the screen. Likely noticing something out of the ordinary, her gaze shifting downward towards your lower half. Her eyes widened, a mix of confusion and intrigue fluttering around within them.

"Oooooh! What's that between your legs, Anon?" Pinkie asked, her voice filled with genuine curiosity. "It looks different from anything I've seen before. Can I take a closer look?"

Your face turned an even deeper shade of crimson, feeling the weight of the awkwardness settle upon you once more. You hesitated, unsure of how to respond to Pinkie's inquisitive nature.

"Uh, Pinkie, that's, um... well, that's a… part of the human body," you stammered, your voice betraying a mixture of discomfort and amusement. "It's called a p-penis. It's something that guys have." You found it difficult to even talk about these things, as you were so mentally unprepared.

Pinkie Pie's eyes sparkled with fascination as she leaned in closer (maybe a bit too close for comfort), her gaze fixed on you and then upon your screen.

"So tell me honestly… what's on your screen, Anon?" Pinkie asked, her voice eager and filled with curiosity. "I see those people touching each other... and... oh, is that what they're doing with the penis? It looks like they're having a lot of fun! I think it kind of reminds me of hugs, a subject on which yours truly is a verified expert!"

You gulped, trying to find the right words to explain the explicit content displayed on your screen to Pinkie Pie, who seemed genuinely intrigued by the human activities she was witnessing.

"Well, Pinkie, what you're seeing is, um... called porn," you explained, your voice tinged with unease. "It's a form of entertainment that some people enjoy. It's... um... intimate and can be pleasurable for them."

Pinkie Pie tilted her head, her eyes never leaving the screen as she absorbed your explanation.

"So, they're having fun with their bodies?" Pinkie asked, a mischievous glimmer in her eyes. "Can ponies do that too? I've never thought of doing something like that before!"

“Really, you never have, aren’t you like twent-…” you start to blurt out almost instinctively.

You quickly stopped yourself and shook your head, attempting to divert Pinkie's attention away from the explicit content on your screen.

"No, Pinkie, that's something that's pretty specific to humans," you replied, your voice filled with a mix of relief and concern for her innocence. "Ponies have different ways of experiencing fun."

Pinkie Pie's curiosity seemed momentarily satisfied, and she stepped back from the screen, her mind buzzing.

"Wow, Anon, you sure have shown me a lot of interesting things today!" Pinkie exclaimed, her voice bubbling with excitement. "I never knew humans could do all these things! I'm glad I got to learn something new!"

You couldn't help but chuckle, appreciating Pinkie's boundless enthusiasm.

"Well, Pinkie, I'm glad I could share something new with you," you replied, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "Isn’t it kind of late for you? What happened to that sleepover anyway?"

“Oh, they canceled it, something about Twilight having chlamydia and Applejack having a pregnancy scare from Big Mag.”

“What the fuck?” you ask. “Are you serious?”

“Hell no, of course not!!!” she said, keeling over with laughter.

After a few moments of laughing through amused tears, Pinkie Pie's eyes lit up again as she bounced on the balls of her hooves out of the room.

“Wait,” you called out to her before she left. “Why did you say all those things about Twi and Applejack?”

Stopping just beyond the door, she looked back at you.

“Oh, silly Anon. I’m not as innocent of a filly as you might think…” she said walking sultrily out the door and down the hall to her room.

=====☼=====

Over the next few days, Pinkie Pie–seemingly much more content with asking somewhat awkward questions–would approach you at every opportunity, bombarding you with questions about human anatomy, intimate activities, and the intricacies of the adult content she had witnessed. No matter how much you tried to change the subject or divert her attention, Pinkie remained fixated on the topic.

"Anon, how does the penis work?"

"Anon, what does it feel like to engage in those activities?"

"Anon, do you think ponies could have similar experiences? Maybe we could try it out!"

You found yourself at a loss for words, caught between amusement and discomfort. While Pinkie's relentless questioning and desire to explore new experiences were endearing, her approach to such intimate matters was overwhelming. Plus, as things ramped up in your surgical ward, you felt exasperated by all the questions and found it uncomfortable to even sit down and have dinner with your housemate when you knew what sort of topics awaited you. Even being home became an onerous chore.

In all frankness, you were also feeling the worsening effects of the diet that you had at home; along with all of your professional and interpersonal (interponial?) stress with Pinkie, her insistence on baking cakes for you EVERY. GODDAMN. DAY. was giving you sugar migraines. You honestly didn’t even want to order a comprehensive metabolic panel on yourself since you were afraid to know what your glucose levels were.

One night, you were sitting across from her, and both of you had plates piled high with apple fritters that Pinkie made after a trip to Sweet Apple Acres.

“Nonny?” she started to ask, using the nickname that secretly irked him to no end. “Do you ever…get hard down there for no reason, just like, randomly?” nearly whispering the last half of her question.

"Pinkie, I appreciate your curiosity, but these are personal and private matters," you would explain, your voice laced with a mix of awkwardness and a firm rejection of the direction of her questioning. "They are meant for consenting adults and, um, not really suitable for ponies."

Pinkie Pie would pout, her lower lip trembling slightly.

"But Anon, I just want to understand and experience everything!" she protested, her voice tinged with disappointment. "I thought we-… I thought w-we were friends, and friends share everything, even the intimate stuff." You could see tears forming in the corners of her large blue eyes.

You couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt, realizing that Pinkie's intent was never to make you uncomfortable but to deepen her understanding of the world. *Your world*. With a sigh, you decided to approach the situation with honesty and gentle guidance.

"Pinkie, I value our friendship, and I understand your curiosity," you would respond, your voice filled with sincerity. "But some things are better left to personal exploration and discovery. It's important to respect boundaries and privacy, even among friends."

Pinkie Pie would nod, her eyes filled with a mix of understanding and a hint of disappointment.

"I guess you're right, Anon," she would say, her voice softening. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable or violate your boundaries. I just got carried away a liiiiittle bit there with my curiosity. I'm sorry…even all my friends here in Ponyville think the same thing. I hear how they go on and on and on behind my back saying ‘Pinkie is just too much’, it’s tough, but I guess you are just like them. Even humans from other dimensions can’t handle me,” she said, nearly bawling and looking despondently down at the fritters.

“No Pinkie, I-...I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to stifle your curiosity. How about this,” you started to bargain and console. “Let’s just keep the questions to a minimum. That way we can stay the best of friends.”

“BFFs?” sniffling with some hope and looking back up at you.

“Of course!” you respond, happy that she seemed to be cheering up.

You smile warmly, appreciating Pinkie's willingness to understand.

"And honestly, it's alright, Pinkie. We all have moments of curiosity, and it's perfectly normal," you would reassure her. "Just remember that there are certain things that are meant to be private, and it's important to respect that."

Pinkie Pie would give you a grateful nod, her energy returning as she bounced back into her usual cheerful demeanor and ate up the rest of the fritters on her plate, obviously hungry from her crying.

"Thanks, Anon! I ….promise I'll be more…. mindful in the future," Pinkie said in between bites.

You were just happy you averted a friendship catastrophe, at least for now.

=====☼=====

As the Friday evening rolled around, you found yourself engrossed in a private moment. It was a tough week with lots of problematic and complex patients. You hadn’t even thought about choking the chicken since last Sunday due to Pinkie’s incessant questions. Although she had gotten better in the last few days, she didn’t stop completely. Finally regaining the house to yourself when Pinkie said she would visit Maud and Mudbriar, who were in town for a geology convention. Pinkie seemed happy to go and she bought lots of presents for Maud, even though she complained without end to you about how much she didn’t mesh with her boyfriend.

Sometimes you seriously questioned why you let such an over-the-top pony live with you…but you tried not to ponder those questions too much. You knew you were doing the right thing. Anyway, you returned your thoughts to your own ‘focuses’ with the assistance of your ol’ faithful, your pink fleshlight. After a few minutes of being lost in the intimate sensations, you didn't notice the door slowly creaking open.

To your surprise, Pinkie Pie stood there, her eyes wide with curiosity and intrigue. You guess she had not yet actually left as you thought. She peered over your shoulder, her gaze fixated on the explicit scene unfolding before her.

"Whoa, Anon! What's that thing you're using? It looks so interesting!" Pinkie exclaimed, her voice filled with unabashed curiosity. "I remember that thing from last time! Yes, I do! Can I touch it? Does it feel good?"

Your face flushed with pure embarrassment. You hadn't expected Pinkie to walk in on you AGAIN, let alone be so openly interested in what you were doing once more.

"Well, Pinkie, I guess I can’t hide this now, this is called a fleshlight," you replied, your voice tinged with an odd conflation of awkwardness and amusement. "It's a device designed to… simulate the sensation of, well, intercourse. It can provide pleasure and a unique experience."

Pinkie Pie's eyes sparkled with excitement as she leaned in closer, her hoof reaching out to touch the textured surface of the fleshlight.

"So, it's like a fancy toy for adults? I love toys" Pinkie asked, her voice filled with genuine curiosity. "Does it really feel like the real thing? I'm so curious!"

Hmmm, you really don’t think she’s getting the message of what this is used for or the underlying awkwardness of the situation.

You hesitated for a moment, contemplating how to respond. Ultimately, you decided to humor Pinkie, knowing her insatiable curiosity wouldn't be easily satisfied with a simple explanation.

"Well, Pinkie, why don't you give it a try?" you offered. "Poke it with your hoof. You can see for yourself how it feels."

Pinkie Pie's eyes widened, her excitement visible as she eagerly accepted your invitation. With a mischievous grin, she took hold of the fleshlight, her hooves exploring its texture and design.

"Wow, Anon, it's so soft and squishy!" Pinkie exclaimed, her voice filled with childlike wonder. "I can see why ponies…or people… might find this pleasurable. It's like a party for your private parts!"

You couldn't help but chuckle at Pinkie's comparison, her knack for turning any situation into a celebration shining through even in this weird moment.

As Pinkie continued to explore the fleshlight, she bombarded you with a flurry of questions, her curiosity seemingly insatiable.

"Anon, what's this part here? Does ‘it’ go inside?" Pinkie inquired, her voice filled with innocent curiosity.

"Does it vibrate or make any fun noises?" she asked, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"How long can you use it before you, um, reach the 'party climax'?" Pinkie questioned, her voice filled with genuine curiosity.

You found yourself answering each of Pinkie's questions, stunned by her unfiltered inquisitiveness. Despite the initial awkwardness, you couldn't deny the fun and lightheartedness of the situation and Pinkie's genuine desire to learn.

After a while, Pinkie Pie returned the fleshlight to you, her eyes gleaming with a newfound sense of satisfaction.

"Thanks for letting me try it, Anon!” Pinkie said.

You nodded, debating whether to tell her that she had, in fact, not truly ‘used’ it or ‘tried it out’.

"I never thought I'd have a 'private showing’ like this, but it was definitely an eye-opening experience or more like a ‘hole-opening’ experience!" she chuckled to herself.

You chuckled too. Man, you loved this pony’s humor.

“One last question, Nonny…:

“Yes, what is it, Pinkie?”

“Why the fuck is your fleshlight pink?” she asked with a humiliating, knowing laugh.

“Uhhhh…” you remained quiet, closed your mouth, pulled up your pants, and left the room, not being able to furnish a good answer. Meanwhile, Pinkie, being her usual self, nearly died of laughter.

=====☼=====

For the first time in what felt like forever, you had a respite from Pinkie later that day when she actually did go to dinner with Maud and Mudbriar. It was nice to know that you had (somewhat) escaped explaining the awkward truth of why your fleshlight was pink. That was something you really didn’t wish to get into with her.

Notably, in all of this time, you had not been able to successfully ‘bust’ due to Pinkie’s constant interruptions.

Finally, taking a breath, you decide to once again start to lower the fleshlight down toward your crotch and–

As if on FUCKING. CUE. Pinkie Pie bursts into the room with her usual exuberance, a mischievous smile playing on her lips. Her eyes sparkled with curiosity as she scanned the room, her gaze eventually landing on you.

“Jeez, Pinkie, what in the everloving FUCK is your problem!” you scream. “Do I need to start putting padlocks on doors or something?”

"Hahah, nah, no need to do that, Anon! Anywhooo, I've been thinking about what we talked about earlier," Pinkie said, her voice filled with excitement. "And I just can't help but wonder, why do you need such a fancy toy when I've got all the ‘parts’ it has, as it were?"

You blinked, taken aback by Pinkie's straightforward question. Her innocent yet direct approach left you momentarily speechless.

"Pinkie, um, I appreciate your curiosity, but... well, you see, the fleshlight is a device designed to enhance certain sensations," you explained, your voice tinged with a mix of awkwardness and amusement. "It's used to simulate a specific experience, and it's not something that ponies naturally have. And who said I want to do it with you anyway?” you add, a bit annoyed at how many times you essentially had to explain the same thing over and over again.

Pinkie Pie tilted her head, her eyes wide with genuine confusion.

"But Anon, don't we have all the same parts? Can't we experience those awesome sensations without any fancy gadgets?" Pinkie asked, her voice filled with earnest curiosity.

You hesitated, trying to find the right words to explain the differences between human and pony anatomy to Pinkie Pie. Even as a doctor, this was a tough task.

"Well, Pinkie, while there might be similarities between our anatomy, there are also key differences," you started, choosing your words carefully. "Certain devices are designed to produce a particular feeling and feel via friction and stuff. Does that make sense? And, well, they can also help explore different feelings that might be difficult or impossible to replicate naturally."

Pinkie Pie's eyes widened with understanding, but her curiosity remained unquenched.

"Can you show me how it works, Anon?" Pinkie asked, her voice filled with a mix of eagerness and innocence. "I promise I won't get weird or anything, I just want to understand!"

“What the heck do you mean?”

“Just use it for me, and I’ll watch. I guess my curiosity just comes from not seeing it in action.”

You sighed, realizing that Pinkie's relentless curiosity would not be easily satisfied. With quite a bit of apprehension, you decided to indulge her and provide a simplified demonstration.

"Alright, Pinkie, but keep in mind that this is just for educational purposes, okay?" you said, your voice laced with a hint of caution. "I'll show you how it works, but please remember that these devices are intended for adult use."

Pinkie Pie nodded enthusiastically; she was eager to learn.

Starting off, you take your index and middle fingers and insert them into the toy.

“No, no, no, no, NO! That’s not what I meant, Anon.”

“What, I am trying to show you how things work.”

“I think you know that I need to see you use it like you actually would!”

Realizing that arguing with Pinkie is like banging your head against a brick wall, you acquiesce.

You carefully started off, gesturing toward your junk, pointing at it with your index finger and cautiously inserting it into the toy, pushing your way through the soft pink silicone lips. You push all the way in and bottom out, looking over to Pinkie Pie.

“Happy? Is that good enough?”

“I think you know very well that it isn’t, Nonny.”

“Uhhh, fine,” you sign.

You start rhythmically moving the toy up and down, moving your shaft in and out of the apparatus. It was extremely (unbelievably) weird being watched, but you guessed you just had to deal with it.

Ever curious Pinkie didn’t let up with her questions.

"Does it feel different than, um, regular intimate activities?" she inquired.

“Yeah, it is, I mean this thing is not living, so the, erm..emotional…side of things is not there.”

“What do you mean, Nonny?”

“It’s just… you know, it doesn’t talk. You can’t really get much feedback from it, no matter what you do, haha!”

“I guess you’re right. It doesn’t have as much energy and pep as yours truly, now does it?”

“Uh…no need to get that personal with it, Pinkie.”

“Oh, haha, sorry,” she apologized meekly.

As you grew closer and closer to the conclusion of the session, trying to finish as quickly as possible to extricate yourself from the awkwardness of the circumstances, Pinkie continued to ask questions.

As you answered Pinkie's questions, you could see her absorbing the lewd information, you could see the ostensibly innocent gears of her mind turning. While the situation was undeniably unconventional, you appreciated Pinkie's genuine thirst for understanding (and hopefully not too much of a thirst for much else).

"Wow, Anon, that's so fascinating! I never thought there were so many ways to explore how humans have fun," Pinkie exclaimed. "Thank you for showing me, even if it might be a little too advanced for us ponies."

You smiled, relieved that Pinkie seemed satisfied with the demonstration and grateful for her open-mindedness and willingness to learn. Maybe she would be satisfied without seeing the “end” of your show.

"You're welcome, Pinkie. I'm glad I could shed some light on the topic," you replied, your replete filled with genuine appreciation. "I guess I’ll just stop right here then…”

“Just hold on there! I want to see the finale! Your…confetti cannon, if you can.”

Knowing there was no pulling the wool over her eyes now, you decided just to finish without much extra flourish, just to be done with this hellishly odd experience.

You focused on the task at hand, trying to maintain your composure, but Pinkie couldn't help but interject with her usual witty commentary as you edged ever closer to ‘letting the glue out of the factory’ (forgive me if you are reading this, I love euphemisms).

"Awww, Anon, are you blushing? Is it getting hot in here, or is it just the intensity of the moment?" Pinkie asked with a mischievous glint in her eyes. "You are sooooo cute! Just look at you go! Don't worry, I won't tell anypony about your little ‘private party’!"

Your cheeks flushed with embarrassment, but you couldn't help but laugh instinctively at Pinkie's playful teasing.

"Thanks, Pinkie. I appreciate your discretion," you replied, your voice almost strangled by the bizarreness of the exchange. "Let's just say this is an intimate experience that can make anyone feel a little self-conscious."

Pinkie nodded, her usual bubbly energy tempered with a touch of understanding.

"I get it, Anon. Sometimes, even the most confident party ponies can feel a bit shy," Pinkie said, her voice filled with empathy. "And with that little thing between your legs, I get why you would be a bit embarrassed!" she added, blushing a bit.

“What the HELL?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, it's just…I’m sure you are awesome by human standards, but here in Ponyville, it's just a bit…lacking,” she said, gesturing a small space in between her raised hooves to accentuate how small she thought it was.

“But don’t worry, Nonny,” she added, “I love you anyway!”

“I’m just going to focus on this now,” you said, striving to not comment on this topic anymore.

"Come on! You got it, Anon! Now, let's see that finale! Do you want me to cheer you on?”

“Honestly, not reall-”

“Let’s go, Nonny! Give me a ‘C’, give me a ‘U’, give ‘M’, put it all together, what does that spell? CUM! Let’s see it now! Cum, batter, batter, cum!

As you approached the climax of the demonstration, Pinkie's eyes widened with amazement. Her usual peppy and humorous demeanor kicked into high gear as cheered even louder.

“We've got spirit, yes, we do! Come on anon, shoot out your goo!”

“I believe that you will cum, I believe that you will cum, I believe that you will cum, I believe that you will cum!!!!!”

“Olé, Olé, I believe Anon will cum today!” she continued on. “Nonny, Nonny, he’s our man, if he can’t cum, no one can!”

“PINKIE! STOP”

“I even wrote a song for this occasion, Nonny, want to hear it?”

“HELL, N-”

“Okay then, here it comes,” she announced as she started to sing to the tune of Georgia Tech’s fight song :

Oh, Anon’s a Ramblin' Wreck from Equestria Tech, and a hell of a goddamn queer–

A helluva, helluva, helluva, helluva, hell of a goddamn queer.

Like all the jolly good fellows, he drinks his cum shots clear.

He’s a Ramblin' Wreck from Equestria Tech and one hell of a goddamn queer.

YAY, GO, FIGHT, WIN, CUM!

“PINKIE!!!!” you shout at the top of your lungs, half enraged, half choking on air from laughing so hard.

“I have more!”

“NOOOO!

She increases her vocal volume as she starts singing to the tune of Wisconsin University’s fight song:

On, Ano-on! On, Ano-on! Jerk that fucking dick!

First, go slower, then go faster, that will do the trick,

On, Ano-on! On, Ano-on! Come here for me now!

Jerk it, Ano-on, I know you know how!

As this absurdly strange demonstration reached its climax, you felt your body making its characteristic minuscule contractions and your hips started to buck. Within a moment, your breath hitched and you unloaded with more force and volume than you could remember into the fleshlight.

Pinkie looked on, smiling, her mouth ajar with a degree of surprise from the display.

“Looks like my cheers worked, Nonny!”

“How did you even know those songs?”

“I use your computer sometimes and I loooove fight songs! It's so cool how on earth they have whole songs dedicated to being peppy and celebrating a…what is it called again? A touchback?”

“A touchdown.”

“RIGHT, a touchdown! It’s sooo cool. That whole sport reminds me of hoofball.”

There was a moment of silence as you caught your breath and allowed your core and leg muscles to relax.

But, as always, Pinkie had more questions.

"Anon, after all the partying is done, how do you clean that thing? Do you hire a cleaning crew, do you dry clean it, or is it a DIY affair?" Pinkie asked, her voice filled with amusement. "And do you throw it in the dishwasher for a sparkling clean, or is it more of a hand-wash situation?"

You couldn't help but laugh at Pinkie's direct & unconventional line of questioning.

"Well, Pinkie, it's definitely a DIY affair. You'll want to rinse it with warm water and use some sort of brush or cleaner specifically designed for this purpose. No dishwashers involved!"

Pinkie's eyes widened with curiosity, her mind already racing with creative ideas.

"Anon, can I borrow your fleshlight for a prank? Imagine the looks on Rarity and Sweetie Belle’s faces when they find it in their dishwasher!" Pinkie exclaimed, a mischievous grin spreading across her face. "It'll be the ultimate party surprise!"

You burst into laughter at Pinkie's outrageous suggestion.

"As tempting as that sounds, Pinkie, I think it's best to keep the fleshlight for personal use only," you replied. "Pranks are fun, but it's important to respect boundaries too!"

Pinkie gave a perfunctory nod, her energy undeterred.

"Anon, what about the inside? Can I take a peek and see what’s happening in there?" Pinkie asked, her voice filled with excitement. "Who knows, maybe there's a tiny disco ball and a DJ playing party tunes!"

You couldn't help but chuckle at Pinkie's vivid imagination.

As Pinkie Pie's curiosity continued to pique and she looked at you pleadingly, you found yourself considering her request to take a look inside the fleshlight. After all, what harm could it do? With a mischievous grin of your own, you decided to give in to Pinkie's request, ready to witness her reaction.

"Alright, Pinkie, I'll let you take a look inside," you said, a playful glint in your eye. "But be prepared for a surprise. Who knows what kind of party you'll find in there!" you add sarcastically.

Pinkie's eyes widened with excitement as you handed her the used fleshlight. With a mix of anticipation and curiosity, she peered inside, her face lighting up with wonder.

"Anon, it's like you emptied a whole pudding in there!" Pinkie exclaimed, her voice filled with awe. "Or maybe like a yogurt or something; it kind of smells weird though. Not bad…just unusual…"

You couldn't help but burst into laughter at Pinkie's food allegories/

"Well, Pinkie, it seems you've discovered the secret party headquarters," you replied, your voice filled with amusement. "Who knew pleasure could be so tasty-looking?" you add, almost making yourself nauseous with your corny remarks.

Pinkie nodded enthusiastically, her eyes gleaming with excitement.

“Hey there! I know this may sound weird…but whatever you put in there, it just looks so delicious, like frosting almost (and I looove frosting)! Do you mind if I... um, lick or taste it?”

Surprised by her bold request, but not really caring at this point with an “in for a penny, in for a pound” mentality, you decided to oblige. "Sure, Pinkie. If it's something you're curious about, just go ahead and give it a taste."

Pinkie's eyes lit up with excitement as she eagerly looked once more at the fleshlight. "Oh, thank you! I've always wondered what it would be like.”

“What a weird comment,” you thought to yourself.

Pinkie's tongue darted out, wetting her lips with anticipation before she pressed it against the smooth surface of the fleshlight. Her tongue swirled around, tasting the remnants left behind. "Mmm, it's so unique! The texture is different from anything I've ever licked before. It's like a creamy sensation against my taste buds."

As she continued to ‘explore’, Pinkie's playful nature came to life. Her tongue danced with a mixture of curiosity and hunger, as if she was savoring a sweet treat. "Oh, it's so interesting! The way it feels against my tongue, the lingering taste... It's definitely a new experience for me! But so AWESOME!"

You watched, both intrigued and slightly taken aback by Pinkie's unfiltered enthusiasm.

Pinkie's tongue continued to glide over the fleshlight, occasionally dipping into the various crevices and grooves that were located below. Her expressions of pleasure were evident as she felt these new sensations. "Mmm, it's so smooth and silky. I can't get enough of it. It's like I am eating something living, if that makes sense!"

“Yeah, I totally understand why that might be,” you added.

As Pinkie's exploration came to an end with her putting her mouth over the toy’s slit and slurping up whatever she could. "That was incredible! Thank you for letting me experience this. It was like licking a scrumptious work of your own, hand-made delicacy, Nonny!" she laughed, the edges of her mouth covered with this so-called ‘delicacy’.

=====☼=====

The next day, Pinkie bounced into the room with a familiar mischievous glint in her eyes. Her pink coat shimmered under the soft glow of your bedroom’s lights illuminated by a set of warm yellow lights from a standing lamp; her curly mane and tail swayed playfully as she rocked and danced around.

"Pinkie Pie, what brings you here?" you asked, taking a sip of a nice morning cup of black tea that you had on a mug on your desk as you looked over some radiology images sent to you from the clinic. Your curiosity was piqued by her presence after yesterday’s bizarre interaction.

"Oh, I've been thinking all these interesting things about your fleshlight, and I couldn't help but wonder," Pinkie Pie said, her voice laced with a mix of innocence and suggestive undertones. "Can I maybe sometimes take its place? You know, be your ‘fleshlight’ instead?"

You spat out your tea, nearly dousing your keyboard and monitor. Pinkie Pie was known for her unpredictable nature and her desire to bring joy to those around her, but this request would take anyone by surprise.

Without hesitation, Pinkie Pie sauntered closer, her eyes fixated on yours, as if daring you to give in to this offer. Her presence radiated an undeniable allure, and a tingle of excitement ran through your veins.

Not knowing what to say, you found yourself nodding, unable to resist the temptation that Pinkie Pie exuded. She giggled, a playful sound that sent shivers down your spine, and without further ado, she reached her hoof up to your forearm gently caressin-

Wait, no, hold up a minute.

You swat Pinkie’s hoof down and look at her sternly.

“Hold your horses…I mean, just wait a second. I know what you are going for, and this is not the way to go.”

“Wait, what? Are you serious?”

“Dead serious. We are housemates, Pinkie! If we did anything like *this*, it would completely jeopardize our entire relationship at home and make it really awkward.”

“Are you 100% sure, Nonny? I mean…I have seen your favorite stories on FimFiction and half of them are about me getting screwed in the ass, bukkaked, tied down and bred, or facefucked. And that’s not even touching the gore and vore stuff I know you like. I saw those types of stories on MULTIPLE occasions, cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!”

“Okay, we’ll have to talk about computer privacy etiquette at another time, but as for now, I just think you are not thinking rationally, you just want something now based on a feeling of infatuation.”

“No, Nonny! You are my best friend, the person who gave me a place to live and put up with my cooking every day. I really, really like you. I would even say… I love you.”

“That’s exactly it, I have been a good housemate and let you live here for a long time for free. I listen to you, I play games with you, it’s no wonder you feel a level of dependence and connection to me that seems to be manifesting in an admittedly…intimate manner.”

“Okay, I guess I can see what you're saying,” she says, feigning a pout, “but I will MAKE YOU LOVE ME!”

With that she turned around and ran out of the house, obviously bolting off to some sort of harebrained scheme.