Chapters Chapter 2: I hate that changeling!
Over the last week, a nagging “Did I forget something?” ping buzzed around Princess Celestia’s head. Granted, it was a common occurrence; even the wisest alicorns can only recall so much of a millennium-long life at any time, save for key life events. Celestia had taken steps to mitigate it, but she eventually forgot those too.
However, after receiving a letter from Princess Twilight explaining a changeling problem Ponyville had suffered, Celestia finally captured the lost memory she was seeking – and facehoofedimmediately. She would be bucking herself over a decision she had made eight hundred years ago for a while.
But while Celestia sat quietly and hunched over on her throne, Princess Luna, who had just learned of the situation, literally blew steam from her ears. Only sisterly love averted an unwanted sequel of Nightmare Moon.
“I do not normally use this word, but THOU IDIOT!!”
“Okay, I can explain–”
“How?! How can you possibly explain that forgiveness law in a way that makes any sense for it to exist?!”
“Well–”
“Even worse, you forgot about it! Did you not think that was important information and tried harder not to forget?!”
“I can’t remember everything that went through my head, but I was in a really forgiving mood the decade I proposed it. Also in my defense, ponies at the time loved the idea of easy forgiveness.” Celestia meekly bit her lip. “We…were going through a phase back then."
“So, you at least understand how ABSURD that law is?!”
“Look, I admit the forgiveness law was arguably my worst law ever. But as much as I may deserve it, berating me isn’t helping anypony.”
“It is helping me vent over something preposterous my sister did! Hint hint!”
“Then it isn’t helping any otherpony!” Celestia pushed herself off of her throne. A spark of "Celestia, the wise ruler", not "Celestia, the not-so-wise ruler", lit in her eyes. “Anyway, let’s focus our attention on Chrysalis for now, okay? Once she’s stopped, you can yell at me to your heart’s content. We can even make it a public spectacle.”
Luna’s ears cooled. She inhaled a heaping portion of calming air. As badly as she wanted to continue the scolding of the century, her sister raised a good point about the bigger picture. “Fine, Big Foolish Celly. Dealing with Chrysalis is more important right now.”
“I never thought I’d say it, but ‘Big Flank Celly’ doesn’t sound so bad.” The Sun Princess started a thought-driven, back-and-forth pace in the center of her and Luna's throne room. “Now, protocol and Equestrian checks and balances mean it could take months or even years to repeal that law. But, if Chrysalis remains unchecked, ponies’ love could potentially be extinct by then.” She gazed up at a stained glass image of herself and Luna, standing side by side, high on a wall. “We must stop her in a way that doesn’t break the forgiveness law.”
“Given the dire situation, why not say ‘Screw the law, we are princesses!’ and just do what needs to be done?”
“We can’t, or have you forgotten about this?” Celestia levitated to her a book from behind her throne. She opened it and pointed to a page. “See? Rule #12 in the ‘Benevolent Alicorn’ book states that all non-villainous alicorns must always obey Equestrian laws and cannot encourage other ponies to break them.” She closed her “Benevolent Alicorn” book and floated it back behind her throne. “Don’t you remember what happened when our predecessor broke that rule right after she asked ‘What could possibly go wrong?’”
Icy shudders ripped through Luna’s body. Never before had she surrendered so fast on any of her suggestions. “Say no more. I would do anything for Equestria, but that isn’t just ‘anything', so how can we counter the ‘forgiveness’ part of that law? If we try to confront Chrysalis when she attacks again, she will just apologize.”
Celestia laid a hoof on her cheek and dove into deep thoughts and mental analytics. A light bulb lit over her head.
“Going by that light bulb, I take it you have an idea?”
“I do. We can bypass the forgiveness law if we gag or knock her out before she can say ‘sorry’. We would just have to hide or wear a disguise so she won’t see it coming.”
A growing smile curled on Luna’s lips. “Yes. I like it. But it ‘tis a little…ruthless coming from you.”
“It is, but if I want to save ponies and their love from Chrysalis, I can’t be a princess of kindness. Unfortunately, there is another problem: we have to figure out when and where Chrysalis will strike next.”
“Hmm.” Luna stole the classic “Lay one hoof onto one’s cheek” thinking position. “From Twilight’s letter and what she claimed happened in the Crystal Empire, Chrysalis is making her move every three days. Since she attacked Ponyville yesterday, she should appear again somewhere in two days. A changeling-seeking spell could tell us where to go next, but I do not think it exists.”
“Twilight is capable of writing new magic, so I will write her a letter asking if she can do it again. Even if it takes her weeks, it would still be quicker than blindly guessing what city Chrysalis will attack next and eventually getting lucky.”
Ten minutes later, in Princess Twilight’s throne/Cutie Map room…
A small green ball of light danced over where Appleloosa was displayed on the fabled Cutie Map.
Princess Twilight said, “It looks like Chrysalis is near Appleloosa.”
Spike said, “I gotta admit: that was fast, even for you. It took you barely any time to write that changeling-seeking spell.”
“Hehe, I guess it gets easier after your first time writing new magic.” Twilight motioned to a bulky book beside her on the floor. “Plus my ‘For Everything’ book had tips on how to do it. If I had this book back when I was trying to finish Starswirl the Bearded’s spell, things would have been so much easier for me.”
“And you had my help too,” Starlight Glimmer said, her eyes proudly closed. “Two magical prodigies are better than one.”
“So true. Now I just have to tell Princess Celestia my findings. She might decide to take on Chrysalis herself, so there’s a chance we won’t be needed for the fight at all.”
“I would have to sit things out again either way. My stomach hasn’t forgiven me for eating all of those daisy sandwiches.” Starlight’s still-peeved stomach grumbled. She clutched it and added, “Ugh, it will be weeks before I can look at a daisy sandwich again.”
Two days later, In Appleloosa…
Smothering heat from the sun beat down on Celestia and Luna as they strode into Appleloosa. It would have been draining enough, but the alicorns’ black coats and hat, the latter long enough to conceal their horns, magnified the heat factor.
“I hope it will not take long for Chrysalis to show up,” Luna whined. “I am already sweating in this disguise.”
“Me too. Appleloosa' is more humid than I remember. We should go inside a building and cool off while we wait for Chrysalis. Remember, she must eat love from a pony before we can attack."
“I know, I know, but once she does, we will gag or attack her before she even realizes who we are.”
The duo looked toward the line of buildings to their left. Dead silence. They turned to the matching line of buildings to the right. A faint gust of wind played as the only audible sound.
“Okay…Big Foolish Celly, is it just me, or is it awfully quiet around here?”
“It is, now that you mention it. Maybe everypony is inside to shelter themselves from the heat. Surely some had gathered into that bar, so let’s go in there.”
The sisters trotted through the bar’s doors – their eyes bulged as their mouths fell agape. Inside the bar, every pony lay pale and unconscious on the floor; some near overturned chairs, others by a counter with half-full bottles of cider sitting on it. Only one other being inside didn’t match the snoozing pony position. A cowfilly hat hugged this being’s head, and boots attached with spars covered her hole-coated hooves. She picked her teeth with a toothpick, as if she had just gorged herself.
It was – you guessed it – Chrysalis.
“Oh, rowdy, Princesses Cowfilles,” Chrysalis greeted with a drawling accent the Apple family would approve of. “Fancy meeting y’all out here.”
"Chrysalis, did you do this?" Celestia asked.
“How do you know it is us in these disguises?” Luna asked.
“That’s easy as puddin’. A white and dark-blue pony, both as big as full-grown alicorns, walkin’ together? Yep, it would’ve been plumb silly to miss ‘em hints.”
Celestia scowled at Luna. “See, Luna? I told you she might see through these disguises too easily.”
"As if you can talk about poor decisions."
“Hoo-wee, ain't it the truth! But to answer yer first question, Ah did ‘do this’ and am so very sorry.” Chrysalis tossed her toothpick in a trashcan. “Ah’ll just mosey on out of here, but Ah reckon y’all should look around Appleloosa for more ‘tired’ ponies that need yer help.” Chrysalis strutted by the alicorns and flew away once she was outside. As she did, she let out her signature evil laugh.
Well, that happened. Celestia growled and said, “I hate that changeling. But why was she talking with mannerisms the Apple family uses?”
“Probably to rub in how she outsmarted us in Apple loosa. We should have readied ourselves in case she was already here.”
“Yes, but what’s done is done. We better ask Twilight to figure out where Chrysalis will go next.” Celestia looked at the ponies still lying on the floor. “After we tend to Chrysalis’s victims.”
Three days later, in Manehattan…
An innocent blue bush rested near Bridleway Theater’s doors. It would have been an unassuming sight if bushes could grow on roads, not merely near them. Ponies walking in or out of the famed theater or along one of several nearby roads seemed to pay it no mind.
From inside the bush, a “fabulous” female voice whined, “Ugh, three hours and still no sign of Chrysalis. I am starting to get soooo bored!”
“I know Twilight said you wanted to come as backup, but didn’t she tell you I’m Equestria’s strongest alicorn now? I can take on Chrysalis alone, and Shining Armor is here on the highly unlikely chance I’d need help.”
“Yeah, I’ve seen her in action during her training sessions. Her magic is even approaching Super Alicorn limits,” Shining Armor said. “Don't feel pressured to stay if you want to go back to Ponyville.”
“Leaving is tempting, but with all due respect, absolutely not. Chrysalis is safe from any kind of punishment for disrespecting my mane last week, so I must see her suffer for something else as the next best thing.”
“As a fellow mare, I understand. If you feel that strongly, I will do you one better and let you deliver the finishing blow to her.”
“You will?! I would so appreciate that, darling–uh, I mean, Princess Cadance!”
“Hehe, it’s okay, and you are welcome. You are one of Twilight’s close friends, so you don’t have to use titles for me–”
*Screaming*
“Hold that thought,” Shining said. “Chrysalis must be eating ponies’ love inside Bridleway Theater as we speak.”
Screaming ponies flooded out of the theater’s doors and scattered down roads in mobs.
“Um, Cadance, shouldn’t we go in? I do want to see Chrysalis pounded into the ground, but the poor ponies having their love eaten also need help.”
“Not yet. I will ensure that any incapacitated ponies receive proper aid, but I can’t risk letting Chrysalis see us too early. Although I should double-check if my horn is on the right setting.” Cadance checked her horn – sure enough, she had left it on its default “Kind Alicorn” setting. She bumped it past “Serious Alicorn” and to “Max.”
And then pushed it past “Max”, all the way to “Blast ‘em Girl!” The pink princess’s horn sparked as it set into its most powerful setting.
“Yes. Now I’m definitely ready.”
Ponies stopped flooding from the theater. After about half a minute, Chrysalis stepped through the theater’s doors, wearing an XXXL Chryszilla shirt. A belch, stained with pony love, left the changeling’s mouth.
It was now or never.
“Showtime!” Cadance jumped out of her bush and darted toward Chrysalis head-on! Her horn charged, her eyes oozing bloodlust.
“Sorry,” Chrysalis said in a sing-song voice, just before Cadance’s horn could reach full charge. A large screen from above, displaying a smiling blond-maned mare in a pink dress, switched to only show the words “I’m sorry.”
“No!” Cadance woefully fell to her stomach. She powered down her horn and frustratingly, and repeatedly, used Face Smash against the hard, unfeeling ground, ignoring the recoil damage. “I. Hate. That. Changeling!”
Rarity and Shining Armor peeked their heads from their bush. Rarity gasped from disappointment; Shining facehoofed from said disappointment.
“Darn it!” Rarity exclaimed. “She was so close!”
“She sure came closer than her aunts did, so she should be proud. But next time, you fools should hide in something that naturallygrows where you’re hiding.” Chrysalis strode to the failed hiding bush, all while pulling out a comb from her mane. She smirked, then combed Rarity’s mane until it matched Chrysalis’s mane style – a longer, straighter yet wilder mane devoid of Rarity’s vintage ending curls. ”Sorry if you don’t like it, but now your mane looks…*chef’s kiss* ...fabulous!”
Rarity’s face heated from a marshmallow white to an irate red. Cracks spread in her gritted teeth.
Chrysalis nodded to Shining Armor in apparent approval. “I would make fun of your ‘performance’, but how you are a father proves you are a lot better when you aren’t brainwashed.” Chrysalis flew away, again letting out her signature evil laugh.
‘I should feel humiliated over that, but I’m just glad Cadance was too busy using Face Smash to hear it.’
“UGH!!” A still-reddened Rarity roared. “I hate that changeling! I hate her so much, I cannot even feel the pain from my cracked teeth!”
“Join the club, Rarity. Cadance and I have hated her for longer. And…I think she just fainted from the recoil of her last Face Smash.”
Three days later, in Las Pegasus…
Three alicorns failed spectacularly to end Chrysalis and her love-eating bonanza. With her friends by her side, it was up to Princess Twilight to prove not all alicorns had choke-artist potential.
Inside the Mandhay Bay hotel’s game room, the Princess of Friendship and her love-defending entourage hid behind a line of Skeehoof Ball machines near a wall. So far, so quiet. Ponies blissfully walked about or relished in one of several games in addition to Skeehoof Ball, such as Spinball, Mr. Pac Mare, and Crane Challenge.
Twilight whispered, “Okay, everypony, Chrysalis will likely be making her move soon. Prepare yourselves.”
“I’ve been prepared,” Rainbow boasted. “She won’t know left from right after we’re done with her!”
Rarity said, “It is a shame Princess Cadance couldn’t be here to at least watch, but her doctor told her to stay in bed until her concussion symptoms improve.”
“On the bright side, your dentist was able to repair your teeth fast and I’m here to help take down Chrysalis this time. My stomach is finally friends with me aga–”
*Screaming*
About half of the ponies in the game room panicked and ran out, presumably to the hotel’s nearest exits. Others grouped together, even with strangers, and stayed still as if waiting for a sign for the safest course of action.
“Chrysalis must be on the attack, but where?!” Spike asked.
“I think the screaming is coming from that overpriced casino area,” Pinkie guessed.
Fluttershy peeked toward the frozen ponies still waiting for a sign. She pulled her head back into hiding, but not before the corners of her lips sunk. “Oh, I feel just horrible leaving frightened ponies at Chrysalis’s mercy. I know they can't hear me, but I'm so sorry.”
“Same here. Mah conscience is whippin’ me something fierce, but we gotta stay put.”
“I hate it too, but Applejack’s right,” Twilight said. “If we blow our cover too early, it will end with Chrysalis flying away laughing. Anyway, you all remember what the plan is, right?”
“Yes,” the others answered affirmatively.
“Good, then let–”
“Ha ha ha ha! Big win! Bonus feeding time, little ponies!” Chrysalis, wearing an XXXL shirt saying “Jackpot!”, strode into the game room. Ponies still inside screamed (of course) and scattered about. Some managed to escape, but Chrysalis grabbed fifteen or so with her magic, pulled them to her, and proceeded to feast on their love. As their love left as a pink smoky stream, the victims' screaming waned until the ponies faded into unconsciousness, their bodies gradually growing pale.
“Ooh, that was delicious!” She turned away from a certain group of machines. "Where to next?”
Twilight raised a hoof. With that, the seven ponies and dragon bolted from behind the Skeehoof Ball machines; Twilight's, Rarity’s, and Starlight’s horns flared up. With a prior spell muffing their hoofsteps/footsteps, they silently rushed toward Chrysalis from behind.
Chrysalis’s ears flapped. She swiftly swung around to face the charging friends and quickly said, “I’m sorry.”
At the “S” word, the ponies and dragon's hooves/feet screeched to a stop. The unicorns’ and alicorn’s horns cooled, sadly.
“What?!” Twilight shouted. “How did you know we were here?! We didn’t make a sound!”
“Simple. My ear flaps mean ‘Desperate fools are attacking from behind’. But I see one of you decided not to take a na–”
“Hey, forget about Starlight and her nap-timing for a second! You can’t predict the future with ear flaps without asking me first! Do you have any idea what I went through to invent my Pinkie Sense?!”
“No, but my version is called ‘Chrysalis Sense’.”
“O-okay, but still…not cool.” Pinkie sat on her haunches and crossed her forelegs. “Predicting the future with quirky body movements is supposed to be my thing. Big dumb copychangeling.”
“Now that I ate, mind if I borrow your book for an after-meal reading session?”
“Huh? You mean my–”
Chrysalis floated to her Twilight's prized “For Everything” book, which, during the great failed charge, was unintentionally knocked to lay beside a Skeehoof machine. Her horn fired a green blast of magic engulfing and vaporizing the defenseless book.
Unbridled shock and disbelief constricted Twilight's pupils. It ordered her mouth to do the opposite and widen.
Chrysalis covered her mouth in mock surprise. “Oops, sorry about that. My horn slipped.”
“No! My ‘For Everything’ book! Why?! It never did anything to you!”
“Look at it this way: that book is outdated. If it had everything in it, then you would know everything by now, Princess Bookhorsey.”
“Don’t call me that! I’m a pony, not a horse! They even feel the same way about being called ponies!”
Starlight asked, “Uh, how do you know that?”
“Let’s just say I learned it the hard way.” Twilight meekly pawed the floor, her ears drooping. “I don’t like talking about it.”
“Eh, you’re close enough to a horse for me, Bookhorsey, but I’m sorry if you don’t like it. Oh, free tip: a wise rule of gambling is to quit when you're ahead even if it's just love.” Chrysalis skipped out of the game room. Once outside the hotel, she took to the air, again gracing Equestria’s presence with her world-famous evil laugh.
Twilight gritted her teeth, cracking them much like Rarity once did to hers. Her eyes lit a murderous red. Stream erupted from her ears, accompanied by hissing reminiscent of a teapot’s whistling. Windows shattered as a shrill, agonized scream pierced even the walls of dimensions.
“I shouldn’t say this as the Princess of Friendship, but I hate that changeling!”
“Join the club, Twilight. My mane and I have hated her for longer.”
Meanwhile, inside the hallways of a human school residing in a peculiar human-ruled world…
*Distant shrill screaming*
A fire-colored-haired teenage girl asked, “Uh, Twi, weird question: did you just scream?”
“No, but it did sound like a scream I would do if someone called me a bookchimpanzee and destroyed my ‘For Everything’ book. I gotta thank Princess Twilight again for recommending that I find our world’s version of hers.”
Three days later, in Rainbow Falls…
Enough was enough. A park coated with lush grass and watched from above by a gorgeous rainbow. It was often used as a training ground for the Equestrian Games’ tryouts, but now it would be the site of a battlefield.
This time, Twilight would hold nothing back. She had not just her fellow ex-bearers of Elements of Harmony, Spike, and Starlight Glimmer, but also Shining Armor and the rest of the alicorns sans Flurry Heart. For the first time ever, the twelve heroes and heroines would all fight together.
However, calling how they would lure in Chrysalis “peculiar” would be an understatement.
“Forgive me if I sound rude, but am I seeing what you all are seeing, or have I not fully recovered from my concussion after all?”
“Nope," Shining said, "It’s not your concussion talking; it’s what you think it is.”
Applejack shook her head toward the "plan" she had reluctantly agreed to. “Ah’ve said it before, but this harebrained stunt is the craziest plan ever.”
“As much as I like one element of it," Rarity chimed in, "I agree this is just ridiculous. There is no way Chrysalis will fall for this trap.”
Twilight surveyed the previously mentioned plan. How far her rational thinking had fallen to ever consider...this. “Trust me, this looks as ludicrous to me as it does you, but Chrysalis is on an unprecedented roll. Our best bet at this point is to follow something that is Pinkie’s plan and hope it throws Chrysalis off.”
“Yeah! It’s not like everything else we tried has worked, so what do we have to lose?" Pinkie pointed out. "Our love?”
“Yes,” Rainbow, Spike, and even Luna deadpanned
"Okay, everypony, complaining will get us nowhere," the oldest of the ponies said. "All of our signs are up, so we should start phase ‘2’ in case Pinkie’s idea really does work.”
Nearby…
While searching for ponies to eat more love from, a series of signs sticking from the ground seized Chrysalis’s attention. She knew better, but decided to follow them for fun. She was on an unprecedented roll. In order, the signs said:
“Hey you! Yeah you!”
“Are you a changeling?”
“Are you tired of eating average love from boring normal ponies?”
“Do you want to try some real love?”
“Then come this way for a banquet fit for a queen!”
“Just one helping of this pony’s love will satisfy even the hungriest bellies for a month!”
“Changelings rate it a 10/10!”
“It scored a perfect 100% rating on Moldy Grapes!”
One final sign said “THERE IT IS! Eat up!” with an arrow pointing to a tied-up and gagged white unicorn stallion, sporting a light amber mane and tail, lying on a huge silver plate. He bore the air of royalty–but of the more condescending and entitled variety.
Chrysalis’s lips curled more wickedly, showing her pointy, evil teeth. “Guess I’ll take that sign's advice and eat up. I am hungry.” Her horn glowed green. A stream of blue magic lifted from the unicorn’s body and into Chrysalis’s mouth–but she immediately choked and ejected back out the love. She wiped her horn as she ranted, “Yuck! Who rated this guy’s love a–”
A blinding magenta light flashed, coaxing Chrysalis to cover her eyes. A pack of heroic ponies and a dragon pounced out of their veil of an invisibility spell and at Chrysalis head-on. A massive circular dust cloud covered and concealed them all. Hooves, claws, magic blasts, and green fire punched out of the cloud every which way.
“Okay, follow my voice, everypony! I have the foul fiend gagged and bound! Let her have it!”
“Certainly! This is ‘not’ for vaporizing my ‘For Everything’ book or calling me ‘Bookhorsey’, but only for the love you just ate from Prince Blueblood!”
*blows lands*
"This is ‘not’ for throwing me out of my bed but just for what Twilight said!”
*Blows lands*
“This is definitely ‘not’ for stealing my Pinkie Sense gimmick, but for that Blueblood guy!”
*Blows lands*
“And this is definitely, positively ‘not’ for my mane, but for what Twilight, Starlight, and Pinkie said!”
*Heavy blows lands*
“This is most definitely, positively, absolutely ‘not’ for ponynapping Flurry, but for the pony the others said!”
*Extremely heavy blows lands*
One by one, the other ponies and even Spike took a turn at the pummel-fest.
The dust cloud, gradually, cleared. No beaten or gagged changeling lay on the ground.
However, there was a gagged white alicorn – smeared in bruises, cuts, and small burns – trapped inside Luna’s forelegs. All of her accidental attackers, especiallya lavender alicorn, gasped.
“Ohhhh," Luna said as the pony’s identity in her grasp registered more and more. “Well, at least she had this coming for her forgiveness law, as ironic as it may sound.”
“Princess Celestia, I am so sorry, sorry, sorry, sorryyyyy!” Twilight claimed in Equestria's all-time most remorseful voice. “Are you okay?! Speak to us!”
With her eyes dazedly spinning, Celestia muttered in a young filly’s voice, “No, Mom, it was Lulu who ate your cookies, not me.”
"Whoa," Rainbow said in astonishment. "We actually knocked her back to her foalhood–”
Streams of pink love-filled smoke floated from the heroes’ and heroines’ bodies. They floated to Chrysalis, who had been nonchalantly standing behind the group, and seeped into her mouth. As they lost more and more love, the ponies’ and dragon’s coats, manes, tails, and scales faded to a paler, grayer color. At length, they finally collapsed to the ground.
“You fools missed me, but your love is a banquet fit for a queen! Oh, and I'm sorry for eating Prince Blue-whatever’s and your love.” Chrysalis blew a raspberry. “And sorry for that too, but credit for taking risks with even dumb ideas.” She flew away, yet again unleashing her signature evil laugh.
Her eyelids drooping, Cadance wearily said, “Okay, everypony...before we all pass out from...having our love eaten...all together now–”
“I HATE THAT CHANGELING!”
One by one, the outsmarted group’s eyes closed and their bodies grew still.
“Uh, can somepony untie me now?” Blueblood still tied on a plate tried to say though his gag.
Two more weeks of our favorite ponies and dragon getting owned later, in Twilight's throne/Cutie Mark room…
“All right, let's do this again.” Twilight prepared her horn for her changing-seeking spell. Green letters on her back spelled out "Dessert."
Starlight stomped through one of the room's several doorways, wearing a sour scowl. Her back bore the word “Mane course.”
“Hey, ‘Dessert,’ are we really gonna let Chrysalis keep getting away with eating ponies’ love like this?”
“I’m trying my best to stop her, but she keeps saying she’s sorry before anypony can defeat or even gag her.
“Seriously?! You know she’s not sorry at all! She’s just going to keep getting fat off our love until she either dies of old age or the universe ends in a Big Freeze, Big Crunch, Big Rip, or Big something else! I’ve even lost five pounds since her attacks started!”
Twilight blinked twice. Finally, a friend who knew about all three of those theories. “Wow. I’m impressed that you know about the Big Freeze, Big Crunch, and Big Rip theories.”
Starlight squinted her eyes. “I’ve studied more than just magic during my Cutie Mark-hating phase. You forgot that manipulating time and space requires a keen knowledge of physics, not just magic?”
“Fair enough. As for Chrysalis, the forgiveness law said–”
“Screw that forgiveness law, you have a princess title!” She stomped to Twilight and shoved a hoof in her chest. “Let’s just go out there and fight Chrysalis, no matter how many times she says ‘sorry’! In fact, if you won't do it, I will screw that law and fight Chrysalis by myself if I have to!”
“What?! You know that’s out of the question! Rule #12 in the ‘Benevolent Alicorn’ book states I–wait.” A light bulb lit over Twilight's head. A grin beamed from her mouth. “Of course! Why didn’t I think of it before?! Come with me; I need to write a letter telling Princess Celestia I have another idea!”
Author's Note
If anyone knows of any pictures of Celestia and/or Luna in cowboy hats, please show me! It is something I never knew I needed until I started writing this chapter.
Chapter 1: Who passed this law?!
Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. Two of Equestria’s esteemed princesses. You would expect even their private conversations in their throne room – or anywhere – to consist of important, mature matters and be carried out with impeccable poise befitting royalty.
However, if they were talking not as sophisticated princesses but as ponies who are also siblings, well…
“No. Just no,” Luna flatly said as she gazed at a glittering red dress floating in Celestia’s golden magic. “There is no way you can fit into that thing.”
“Why not? It has been about five hundred years since I last wore it, but I've taken good care of it over the centuries. If I could wear it back then, I can wear it now.”
“Perhaps, if you had maintained the same figure prior to my banishment as Nightmare Moon. But now –”
Celestia rumbled a vexed groan through the room. “Don’t you start on my cake-eating habits again! I’ll prove it’s not too small for me!” Celestia promptly shoved her dress over her head. As it reached her folded wings, she grunted while inching her dress past her wings.
“Just a bit more,” Celestia told herself in between grunts. “You can do it, Celestia.”
Finally, after one last grunt of effort, her dress slid over her hips.Barely.
“Ha!” She triumphantly raised her head, a smug smirk curling on her lips. “See? It may be a tad tight, but I–”
*Rip!*
Welp, Celestia's dress split over her hips. RIP dress.
Luna’s lips quivered. Chuckle-snorts squeaked from her lips.
“My pies for a week if you never speak of this again.”
“Deal…*snicker*…big flank Celly.”
“Grr, don’t call me that! You know I despise that na–”
A Royal Guard ran through the throne room’s open doors. “Princesses, Chrysalis appeared out of nowhere and is draining ponies of love!”
“What?!” Celestia exclaimed. “Where is she?!”
“My reports say she was seen near Equusmart.”
“I see. I will go deal with her at once.”
“Of course. Good luck.” The guard left and hurried down a hallway. An eruption of thunderous laughter rattled all of Canterlot Castle. Literally.
“I’ll feel embarrassed later.“ Celestia floated her ripped dress off her and dropped it to the floor. “Anyway, could you accompany me for backup? I should be enough for Chrysalis if she has only started eating love, but better safe than sorry.”
“As if you needed to ask.” Luna smirked. They would not fall in combat this time! “Let us bring down a villain together, just like old times!”
“Darn it,” Celestia said as she and Luna flew over one of Canterlot’s streets branching the capital city. “I forgot where that guard said Chrysalis is. Do you remember?”
“I believe he said Equusmart, but we could use the screaming ponies below us to determine where to go. I am certain they are running away from Chrysalis’s location.”
“Yes, and they are even running from where Equusmart is. Let’s hurry before Chrysalis drains too many ponies of their love or even captures them.”
The duo sped up their wing flaps and soared high above the fleeing ponies below them.
After about two minutes of flying over streets, the sisters slowly, gracefully landed on a now-empty street. Near the towering Equusmart’s closed double-doors, Chrysalis, facing away from the alicorns, held a pale, semi-conscious unicorn mare in her magic at head level. A continuous stream of love drained from the mare’s body and into Chrysalis’s open mouth.
“There she is.” Celestia looked toward Luna, bearing a stern, battle-ready scowl. ”Are you ready?”
Luna nodded. “Ready, big flank Celly.”
Celestia squinted her eyes, sisterly venom oozing from them. “Just for that, I’m going to pretend Chrysalis is you when we fight her.” Celestia looked back to Chrysalis and stepped closer to her. “Chrysalis, release that pony this instant!”
“Whatever you say.” The changeling of the hour released, or rather dropped , the poor defenseless mare in her grasp. To the ground. Hard.
“Ow, rude…” the mare mumbled as her remaining consciousness clocked out for lunch.
“You know that wasn’t what I meant!” Celestia levitated the drained mare to and safely behind her.
“I know, I know,” Chrysalis nonchalantly said. She finally turned to face the sisters, wearing a smirk of calm arrogance. “I didn’t release that pony the instant you told me to. Heh heh heh, silly me, big flank Celly.”
Luna’s teeth gritted. A seething growl rumbled from her throat. “Chrysalis, listen well. Stealing ponies’ love against their will is despicable enough, but only I can pick on my sister.” The younger sister’s horn glowed blue as she bellowed in her Royal Canterlot voice, “WE WILL NOT WARN THOU AGAIN!!”
Chrysalis wagged a hoof toward Luna. “Temper, temper. There’s no need to slip into old ponish these days.”
“Never mind speech manners.” Celestia spread her majestic wings wide to battle mode. “Once again, you attacked innocent ponies for their love. What do you have to say for yourself before we do this the hard way?”
“I’m sorry.” Chrysalis leaned her head down. Tartarus had certainly frozen over due to “I’m sorry” passing through Chrysalis’s lips. Her gentler voice tone bore no sarcasm or jest, but sounded seemingly sincere(!)
Celestia's and Luna’s mouths widened; the former’s wings wilted back to their usual folded positions. Both ponies’ eyes twitched in unison.
“I-I beg your pardon?” Celestia forced her shocked mouth to ask.
Her head still aimed toward the ground, Chrysalis answered, “‘My pardon’ is I’m sorry.”
“A-a-are we hearing correctly?” Luna shook her head; something had to kill her eye twitches. “You are apologizing? You, who once thought ‘empathy’ was a type of food?”
The not-so-proud Ex-queen nodded. “Yes. I will even leave Canterlot in peace.”
“Something is seriously wrong here.” Celestia laid her hoof over Chrysalis's forehead. “Hmm. No fever.”
“Shall I fetch a thermometer from one of our castle’s doctors? It would be more reliable than your hoof.”
“Hey, ‘Doc’, I’m fine.” Chrysalis slapped Doc Celestia’s hoof off her head. “I would be in a self-made bed somewhere if I had a fever.”
Celestia asked, “So, you are sorry and will really leave on your own free will?”
“Yes and yes.”
Celestia and Luna stared at each other. Chrysalis said ‘sorry.’ Inconceivable. If anypony had told the royal sisters what had transpired before them, they would have risked bursting their stomachs from laughing.
“O…kay,” Celestia eked out. “I’ll…see you later…I guess? Be good?”
“I suppose. Oh, and there are more ponies taking a ‘nap’ inside what I think is called ‘Equusmart’. I would tend to them if I were you.” Chrysalis flew high in the air and headed toward Canterlot’s borders.
Luna asked, “Are you certain we should allow her to escape again?”
“I…don’t…I…”
“Uh, are you okay? Big flank Celly?”
“I…I…just…st–”
Luna slapped the back of Celestia’s head. A crude, yet effective way to preform an alicorn reboot.
“I’m just stunned. She. Chrysalis. Apologized.” Celestia lay a hoof on her head, both from confusion and stinging from a growing bump on her head. “Ow, and I am unsure how to feel about a remorseful Chrysalis. Should I be scared that it’s an omen for the end of the world?”
“I admit to being almost as confounded as you, but Twilight would have burned her books as an omen if the apocalypse were nigh.” Luna gazed upward at the fleeing Chrysalis fading further and further from view. “Hopefully, Chrysalis’s attack was merely for old time's sake.”
“And for some reason, it feels like we wouldn’t have had a choice but to let her go anyway. At any rate, let’s help the poor ponies Chrysalis said in inside Equusmart.”
Three days later, in a bedroom of the Crystal Empire’s castle…
All ponies dreaded it. A few ran from it. Yet that time of the month always arrived just the same. A time ponies loathed, no matter their social or economic status. Even when they had accepted it as an inevitable fact of life, the spiteful moment nonetheless inspired boundless aggravation.
“Ugh, bills, bills, bills,” Prince Shining Armor ranted while standing by a table, sorting through a second stack of bills floating in his magic. “To think most ponies believe royalty never endure bill problems.”
Lying on her and Shining’s bed, Princess Cadance sorted through a second stack of bills. “Well, we would have fewer bills if it weren’t for your three ‘Ultimate Dad‘, four ‘Your Alicorn Household and You', and five ‘Playcolt’ subscriptions.”
“Like you can talk, or do I have to remind you of your six ‘Playfilly’, three 'Romance Lovers’, and nine fitness magazine subscriptions?” Shining laid his bill stack beside a third stack on his table. “I know why you wanted them, but did you really needthat many fitn–“
A guard peeked his head through the royal couple’s bedroom doorway. “Princess Cadance, Captain Shining, I received reports of Chrysalis eating love from ponies.”
“She is?!” Cadance dropped her stack of bills, inadvertently scattering them across her bed, and leaped to her hooves. “Where was she last seen?”
“At the Northern Library.”
“Okay. I will go face Chrysalis myself. Tell the other guards to leave her to me.”
“I will. Go get her, your Highness!” The guard bowed in respect, then departed down the hallways. ‘I better tell the others to place their bets on who will win if she fights Chrysalis by herself. I’m putting my bits on Chrysalis.’
“To be safe, I should go…uh, Cadance?“
Cadance beamed, revealing her pearly white teeth. Her recently gained stockier muscles hiding under her pink natural coat flexed in excitement.
“C-Cadance? Why are you smiling?”
“Because the moment I’ve been waiting for is here. You will have a front-row seat to watch Chrysalis try to catch my hooves and magic.” Cadance zipped out of her room in a pink blur.
“Mmm-mmm! She is so hot when she talks like a badflank!” Shining dashed out of the room with his own face beaming. “I hope she saves some of that mood for tonight.”
Like a pink shooting star, Cadance shot through the clear blue sky as Shining Armor struggled to keep up with her on hoof. Showing shades of Chrysalis’s visit in Canterlot, screaming ponies stampeded down the empire’s streets.
“I’m not the same alicorn as before, Chrysalis. You will regret ever ponynapping Flurry.”
A yellow three-story building shone as a beacon for the Princess of Love’s imminent vengeance. As she grew closer, she scribbled a mental note to assist the six pale crystal ponies lying motionless near a “Northern Library” sign adorning a wall. But first, a changeling strutting away down a street was due for a slow, agonizing defeat.
“You, Chrysalis!“ Cadance swept down to a landing before Chrysalis. Alicorn princess and changeling ex-queen stood face-to-face. A fittingly-timed gust of wind flapped their manes sideways. “It’s been a while.”
“Oh? I didn’t expect to see you here so soon, Princess...uh, what is your name again? Cady? Cadence with an ‘e’?”
Cadance’s horn lit with turquoise magic. Her grin darkened into a near-evil one, her muscles tightening at the ready. “Good choice. I was hoping you’d pick the fun way.” She told Shining, who had just caught up to his badflank wife, “Shining, could you move those ponies on the ground to a safer dist–”
“But before you do anything you’ll regret, I’m sorry.” Chrysalis submissively bowed her head.
The “S” word sunk Cadance’s prior grin while deflating her waiting muscles. Her glowing horn dimmed back to rest mode. “Uh, come again?”
Shining pinched his cheek – how ponies can pinch with hooves is among one of Equestria’s greatest mysteries. “Ow. This isn’t a dream, so I second what Cadance asked.”
“I said 'I'm sorry’.” Chrysalis lifted her head from her bowing position. “Besides, I’m full, so I’m willing to leave in peace.”
“No ,” Cadance spoke In an icy tone capable of evoking jealousy from even vicious ice storms. “You’re not going anywhere.”
Chrysalis blinked. “No? Princess Celestia would let me leave since I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry all right, but the Crystal Empire is my empire. I’m in charge here, and I haven’t forgotten about how you ponynapped Flurry Heart.” The mother’s wings flared wide. “I don’t care that you went after me, but you will pay for going after my little foal. The other changelings were only following your orders before they reformed, so I could forgive them.”
“Then I suppose you haven’t kept up on your reading, or you would know you have to let me leave.”
Cadance roared in raucous laughter, wiping away a tear born from her laugh attack. “Woo, that is hilarious! I haven’t laughed so hard in years! Why would I ‘have’ to do that because you said the ‘S’ word?”
“Have a read.” Chrysalis floated a book, titled “Old Pony Laws and You”, out of her mane. She must have taken lessons from Pinkie Pie.
“Hehe, okay, I’ll play along. I could use a pre-fight reading session.” Cadance snatched the mysterious book and skimmed through its first few pages, muttering key sentences under her breath. One particular wham line shocked her mouth into gasping. “This can’t be. Villains can’t be punished if they show remorse for their actions? Shining, have you heard of this?”
Shining thoughtfully tapped his cheek with a hoof. “Hmm. I had heard rumors about old unorthodox laws, but I never investigated them.”
“I don’t trust this so-called old pony law book, so I will send Twilight a letter asking for confirmation. She has a book for everything.”
“Here’s a quill and stroll.” Chrysalis floated a green quill and scroll from her mane to Cadance.
“Maybe I should start keeping things in my mane too.” Cadance set the so-called pony law book to the ground, wrote her letter, then shot a blast of magic at said letter, instantly warping it to its recipient.
Thirty seconds later, a new, rolled-up scroll materialized at Cadance’s hooves, which she immediately picked up and unrolled. “That was fast. Now, let’s see if that book is a fake or not.”
Cadance, sorry it took me so long, but a forgiveness law in my “For Everything” book states that ponies with authority, even princesses, are indeed forbidden from punishing villains who say they are sorry. It is an extremely old law even I had never read or heard about before, but it’s a law nonetheless. The only caveat is that it only applies if no pony is physically injured.
“What?!” Cadance shouted, as a sane pony should. “Are you kidding me?! What idiot would even pass this law?!”
You probably just shouted “What?!” but sadly I am not kidding nor do I know who passed this law. I understand why you’ve been dying to annihilate Chrysalis on Flurry Heart’s behalf, but I’m afraid you will have to swallow your pride and let her go. She didn’t come after Starlight, so it’s quite possible she had reformed on her own terms but suffered a couple of…bad relapses. Starlight suffered her share of bad relapses too.
But if it makes you feel any better, you might be Equestria’s strongest alicorn now thanks to your fitness magazines and secret training.
“I think I already know, but whatdid Twily say?”
Cadance blew a long, yielding sigh. “She said her ‘For Everything’ book confirmed Chrysalis’s claims.”
“And again, so sorry.”
She ripped Twilight's bad news-bearing scroll to pieces, all while firing an anguished, revenge-denied scream. For months, Cadance had yearned for a shot to give Chrysalis a no-holds-barred beatdown for the ages! Alas, she is a princess, and every wise ruler knows never to act as if laws don’t apply to them. “Ooh, I hate you so much, but so be it. You really will leave in peace?”
“Yes, but you can keep my quill as a consolation prize. FYI, if you are ruling an empire, you should be called an empress, not a princess. Bye!” Chrysalis flew away and out of the Crystal Empire.
“Perhaps it is best this way,” Cadance said as she watched Chrysalis leave to parts unknown, allowing some of her pent-up hate to leave for greener pastures. “If I had gotten carried away with her, I might have lost myself in anger and became Amore Heartstealer. I had never screamed the way I just did before.”
“But Chrysalis raised a good question: why haven’t you changed your princess status to empress?”
“I tried it out for an hour, but ‘Empress Cadance’ just sounded wrong. ‘Empress Cadence’ didn’t sound any better either.”
Three days later, in Princess Twilight Sparkle’s castle…
Starlight Glimmer rarely encountered challenges she couldn’t rise to. Mastering Cutie Mark-stealing spells? Please. Upgrading Starswirl the Bearded’s time travel spell? Yawn-fest. Learning to control her impulsiveness? She’s…working on that one.
But eating fifteen daisy sandwiches in one setting? That proved to be tougher than expected. Fourteen and three-fourths of them were tucked away inside her swollen, quivering belly. But the remaining one-fourth, waiting on a plate on the kitchen wooden table, omitted an aura comparable to milk well past its expiration date, not what was left of a fresh, delectable daisy sandwich.
“Come on, Starlight! You can do it!” Spike cheered, wearing a supportive smile. “You only have a couple bites leftto go!”
“But you shouldn’t force yourself to eat it,” Princess Twilight pleaded with an anxious frown. “Even the most elastic stomachs can only fill up with so much.”
“Don’t listen to her! She just doesn’t want to lose our bet!”
Twilight pointed to Starlight’s overtaxed stomach. “But look at her belly, Spike! It can’t handle any more!”
“I can…do it…stomach…don’t fail me now.” Starlight willed her magic to float that uneaten fourth of her sandwich to her mouth. She let out a battle cry and stuffed it into her mouth. With Equestria’s most difficult gulp, she sent the final section of her fifteenth sandwich down her throat to reunite with its buddies. The following rumbling from her stomach was possibly a stomach equivalent of swearing.
Spike grinned and pumped his fists upward. “You did it! Now Twilight has to–”
Rainbow and Fluttershy burst into the kitchen, both wearing frowns.
“Twilight,” Rainbow started, “we have trouble! Chrysalis is eating ponies’ love near the Hay Burger!”
Twilight’s eyes widened, pity over losing her bet to Spike and Starlight taking a hike – for now. “What?! Why?!”
“Because she’sChrysalis?” Rainbow deadpanned. “She does that.”
“I mean why is she doing it?”
“Because she’s Chrysalis ?” Rainbow deadpanned harder still. “Are you feeling okay, Twi?”
“Never mind. Maybe it’s a misunderstanding. Let’s find Rarity, Pinkie, and Applejack and see what’s going on. Starlight’s magic would be invaluable if we have to fight Chrysalis, but she’s in no shape to fight.”
“No, I can–” Starlight’s peeved stomach rumbled. “–okay, you’re right. I better take a nap in my room and digest those sandwiches. I’ll be with you all in spirit.”
The group sans Starlight hurried out of the kitchen and down the castle's hallways.
Fluttershy asked, “Rainbow, did you feel like a guard reporting bad news to their princess?”
“You were thinking that too? Then again, we are the closest our egghead princess has to guards.”
Outside the Hay Burger restaurant…
*Burp*
Chrysalis tossed an unconscious, pale, freshly-drained earth pony mare to the ground.
“Yep, I should stick to mostly mares.” Chrysalis glanced at three pale (of course) earth pony stallions, all unmoving on the ground. “Stallion love is okay, but not as sweet as mare love. Anyway, those friendship-loving fools should be here in three…two…one…”
“Chrysalis!”
“Right on time.” She turned to the six ex-bearers of the Elements of Harmony and Spike running/flying to her. “Hmm…where is that vile Starlight Glimmer? Taking a nap?”
Spike pointed to the unconscious ponies lying nearby. “Yeah, there’s no way you can misunderstand that .”
“Fine, I was wrong.” Twilight glared at Chrysalis. “As for you, Chrysalis, Starlight is taking a nap right now, but why are you eating love from ponies again?! I thought you said you were sorry to Princess Celestia and Princess Cadance!”
“I did, and I am sorry.”
“Riiiiight,” Rainbow said. “I think you’re saying ‘sorry’ so you can keep eating love as much as you want.”
“Yeah!” Pinkie summoned her physics-breaking abilities to pop her head out from Chrysalis’s mane as if she were already inside. “You can’t say ‘sorry’ when you’re not really sorry!” She hopped fully out of the changeling's mane and crossed her forehooves. “We can only forgive villains so many times before our fans finally get fed up with it!”
Fluttershy meekly said, “Um, not that they aren’t forgiving creatures if our ’fans’ really do exist.”
Rarity chimed in, “I haven’t a clue why Pinkie and even Lyra Heartstrings think some weird apes are watching us, but who do you think we are? Mindless ponies who cannot see the painfully obvious?”
“Yes, but I’m sorry. I’m also sorry that…uh, what is your name? Seriously?”
“I am Rarity. Miss Rarity to you.”
“Right, Rarity.” Chrysalis strode closer to Rarity/Miss Rarity. She lifted a curl of the unicorn’s mane and teased, “As I was saying, I am sorry this mane of yours is awfully tacky.”
Rarity’s pupils flared into blue flames. “TACKY?!” She smacked Chrysalis’s hoof off her mane’s curl. “Not only did you touch my fabulous mane without permission, but you dare call it tacky?! All right, keep back everypony! This changeling is mine !” Rarity lunged forward, fiery eyes locked on the love-eater in her sights, but her body froze while abruptly illuminating in magenta magic.
“Rarity, are you crazy?!” Twilight shouted, her horn glowing in you-know-what-colored magic. “I don’t know if even Starlight could take on Chrysalis alone, and she’s Starlight !”
“Let me go! Slandering my mane is one of four things you never do in my presence! Not if you wish to see another day!”
“I can’t let you go for two reasons. First, Chrysalis said she’s sorry, so the law banning punishing villains who say they are sorry means we can't do anything!”
“Honestly, Twilight, you have got to learn it’s okay to break rules or even laws sometimes! After all, I do it all the ti–uh, that is, what was the second reason you can’t release me to…*clears throat*... POUND CHRYSALIS INTO THE GROUND?!”
“It’s what I said before; you’re not strong enough to beat her by yourself! I know you’re upset–”
“No, not ‘upset’. I am livid !”
“Fine, then I know you’re livid, but you are a unicorn with only normal levels of magic at best! You don’t even have your Element anymore to fight with, remember?”
“Then how about you and I have a little battle so you can see firsthoof how ‘normal’ my magic is when I mean business?”
“Are you crazier?! I can’t fight you; you’re one of my best friends! And not to be mean, but have you forgotten how Trixie embarrassed you? You wouldn’t last ten seconds against me.”
“I could so–”
“Uh, Twi? Rarity?” Applejack interjected. “Chrysalis flew off while y’all were busy squabbling and proposin’ a five-second fight, max.”
Rarity’s body ceased glowing. She and Twilight stared upward, but the sky contained no trace of Chrysalis.
“Well, she’s gone,” Twilight said.
Still fuming from her mane being owned, Rarity snapped, “Hey, our fight would so last longer than–”
*Scream! *
The friends gasped.
Spike asked, “Was that Starlight’s scream?!”
“Oh no!” Twilight swung her head to the Castle of Friendship in the distance. “Chrysalis must have found her, but she’s far too bloated to defend herself! Why did I tell Chrysalis that Starlight was taking a nap?!”
“Because you were too focused on monologuing, that’s why!” Pinkie waved her hooves toward the castle. “We gotta go help her before Rarity becomes the only unicorn out of us again!”
In Starlight Glimmer’s bedroom…
Starlight lay on her back on her floor, paler than usual and lacking energy to budge a hoof, but unharmed. Her kites lying by her dresser, walls, and bookshelf wished they could help their creator to her hooves, but couldn’t, being kites and all.
“Ugh, she just had to throw me off my bed to rub it in. How did she find my room so easily? It took me weeks of searching to even find the throne room back when I was trying to get revenge on--”
The cavalry AKA six familiar ponies and dragon dashed through the downed unicorn’s doorway. Fluttershy and Twilight went to check on said downed unicorn while Spike scooped up a letter on a dresser stating “I’m sorry. Signed, the hottie Chrysalis. P.S. Nice kites.”
Spike said, “Chrysalis claims she’s sorry again and apparently thinks she’s hot.”
“She’s not wrong about her being ho–uh, that is, on the bright side, I don’t feel so bloated anymore.”
“And that you’re okay,” Fluttershy said. “We were worried Chrysalis might have done something far worse to you.”
Rarity dismissively huffed (to the zaniness of the situation, not how Starlight wasn't hurt). “But law or no law, we cannot allow her to keep getting away with this by saying ‘sorry’ every time. What if she starts to actually harm or even kill somepony?”
Twilight answered, “There’s no danger of that. The forgiveness law only cover villainous actions that don’t injure anypony. Considering she only drained Starlight of her love, Chrysalis must be aware of the forgiveness law’s limits.”
"Huh?" Starlight asked. "What forgiveness law?"
Applejack answered, "It's some wacky old law that says villains can't be punished if they apologize."
“So that big bug can’t take our lives, but she can make our lives miserable by eating love as long as she says 'sorry'.” Rainbow looked down at Starlight. “We should be glad Starlight never heard of that law, or she might have tried to use it to get away with stealing Cutie Marks back when she was evil–er no offense.”
Starlight giggled. “Well, I can tell Sunset that I finally got my first ‘no offense’.”
“And congratulations!” Pinkie cheered, confetti flying throughout the room. As is the norm, do not question how Pinkie Pie did that if you value your sanity. “You are now an officially reformed villain!”
On the outskirts of Ponyville…
“Suckers.” From the air, Chrysalis looked over Ponyville, her belly full of pony love. “It’s a wonder ponies don’t walk into walls every five minutes because they are so dumb! I wish I had learned of that ridiculous law ages ago! Ha ha ha ha!”
She gazed toward the distant Castle of Friendship. “Yesss, I will even allow Starlight Glimmer to keep living even after I’m unstoppable from the love I’m feasting on. She had some of the tastiest love anyway, but why did it taste like daisies?”
Author's Note
Just for fun, what would you say are the other three things you never say to Rarity or else ?
Also feel free to mention any grammar errors I missed in this story
Chapter 3: I will enjoy this
It is said history repeats itself. However, it was never said that history 100% repeats; something Princess Twilight was banking on. The bookpony and her eleven fellow love defenders present had suffered embarrassing failure after embarrassing failure trying to stop Chrysalis.
But not this time! Chrysalis would fall where it all began: Canterlot’s Equusmart. The heroes and heroines had caught wind of Chrysalis being spotted there, so they decided to wait outside its front double doors. The proud moon shining from above almost seemed ready to celebrate its mover’s victory.
And it was a very good thing alicorns heal quickly. After a mere two weeks removed from suffering the biggest accidental flank-kicking in Equestrian history, Princess Celestia’s body and coat had healed to be good as new.
That said, she, like the others, did have green letters written on her back. In Celestia's case, they spelled out "Big feast."
*Screaming*
Ponies ran out of Equusmart’s door and past the waiting group of changeling hunters, who sidestepped out of the path of the panicking ponies. One fleeing unicorn mare shouted, “I’m not having my love eaten or being dropped on the ground again!”
Celestia said, “The reports were right: Chrysalis is in there.”
Rarity bore a wide, deep, Cheshire Cat-level grin. “Yes. I can’t wait for her to finally receive what she deserves.”
“You and me both, Rarity.” Cadance extended a hoof to Rarity, who promptly hoofpumped it. “We should have sold tickets for this.”
“Oh, I did." Pinkie pulled out some blue tickets from her mane. "Why do you think some ponies are waiting way behind us?”
“Wait, you did sell tickets?! Why didn’t ya tell us?! Ah would've offered to sell some apples to them!”
“I was going to have the bits I made be a surprise." Pinkie pushed her unsold tickets back in her mane. "I had planned to sell them some popcorn too, but I couldn't make en–"
Chrysalis calmly stepped through Equusmart’s door. Wearing a cheerful, almost friendly smile of all things, she greeted, “Hi, my cute favorite fools. Sorry about the love I ate in there, but nice night, isn’t it?”
“Apology not accepted, Chrysalis,” Celestia said firmly. “You will not fly away laughing this time.”
“But it is a nice night," Luna added, her moon seemingly shining even brighter. "It will soon be even nicer.”
"Uh, what?" Chrysalis stared at the group, puzzlingly tilting her head to the side. She let out a laugh and remarked, “Oh, that's a good one! Aren’t you forgetting that none of you can fight or punish villains who say they are sorry?”
“That’s what we thought ,” Shining Armor said, “but Twily remembered some details in the forgiveness law that even she had misunderstood or overlooked.”
“Oh?”
Cadance said, “Yes, ‘oh’. It indeed states ponies are prohibited from fighting or punishing villains who claim to be sorry, as long as the villain didn't injure anypony."
Celestia chimed in, "Rule #12 in the 'Benevolent Alicorn' book states good alicorns can neither break laws nor directly encourage other ponies to break them, so even my hooves are tied.”
Twilight laid a hoof on Starlight’s back. “Unfortunately for you, though, Starlight is herself a villain, albeit a reformed one. Therefore, if she were to break it but doesn't injure any pony , she would be eligible for the forgiveness law's protection.”
The reformed villain smirked. “And after I’m done with you, changeling , I will say ‘I’m sorry’.”
"'Tis just a shame that Nightmare Moon, not me as Princess Luna, was a villain so I cannot join in. But, I will settle for watching Starlight 'punish' you, her way."
“Well, I see ponies aren’t as dumb as I thought. Still, she can't beat me now, or shall I give a demonstration?” Chrysalis’s horn glowed green. A colossal blast of magic fired from it, far beyond any blasts she had ever shown, into the sky. A gust of wind from the blast ripped into Chrysalis's and the ponies' manes, bullying them to helplessly flap until the wind storm canceled itself.
“See?" She leered at Starlight, who defiantly pinned her ears and scowled back. "Your little villain reject might have stood a slight chance a couple of weeks ago, but she wouldn’t last ten seconds against the new me! She can try if she's dumb enough to; I could use an after-dinner workout.” Chrysalis unleashed her vintage evil laugh, again.
More, non-evil laughing joined in. Thirteen creatures, not just one, laughed into the night.
Make that twelve.
“Wait, why are you laughing? This isn’t supposed to be funny for you.”
Spike and the ponies, their laughing stopped, backed away ten ponylengths from Starlight. The four alicorns’ horns lit; magic shot from them and seeped into Starlight’s body, illuminating her in a blinding white aura. Short-range sparks of magic-fueled lightning and a gust of wind, powered by the raw force of the magic, flared from the glowing unicorn.
“Well said.”
Smaller sparks of magic-lightning continued to arc from Starlight’s glowing body, but a grin from her lips peeked through the glare. A type of grin she had only shown during her unreformed villain days. "I am going to enjoy this.”
Fluttershy said, “Um, if I were you, I would run.”
Cadance flew to and wrapped a foreleg around Chrysalis's neck in mock affection. “And fast while her body is still adjusting to our magic. If you stay, we will have to clean you off walls later.”
"Not that we or Pinkie's paying customers would mind seeing you get defeated, painfully . I just wish I had some gems to eat."
“Not a chance, and get off me, you pink love-loving pony!" Chrysalis slapped Cadance's foreleg away. "We ain't old friends!" While the pink love-loving pony giggled and backed away, Chrysalis planted her hooves and flared open her wings. Her eyes burned with unflinching determination. "I don’t care how much magic she has! There is no way I will run from Starlight Glimmer of all ponies!”
Two ‘okay bet’ sparks of magic-lightning snapped from Starlight’s back, her body still shining with raw power.
“On second thought, nuh-uh.” Chrysalis turned tail and flew off. So much for that unflinching determination.
One last magic-lightning fired, and Starlight’s body dimmed back to its normal lilac.
Twilight looked over Starlight, then nodded. “All right, it looks like our alicorn magic has fully stabilized inside you.”
"Now, as Princess Luna, a good alicorn, I am encouraging you to return to Ponyville. However, if you, a reformed villain, just happen to feel like it, I am not encouraging you at all to–" Luna pointed a hoof, squarely toward the fleeing Chrysalis in the air “–SIC HER, STARLIGHT!!”
“And give her one for me and Flurry! Uh, if you want to. No pressure from a good alicorn like me.”
Starlight levitated into the air…and shot herself halfway, screaming, across Canterlot as a turquoise magic trail followed her. “Whoa! This is way harder than I thought it would be! I should have read ‘For Everything 2’ for tips on controlling so much alicorn magic.” She zigzagged throughout the air, gradually slowing and gaining better control of her 4x alicorn + 1 unicorn-powered flying.
Celestia said, “You were smart to realize a loophole in that ill-thought-of forgiveness law, Twilight. Once it is finally repealed, we will never have to worry about villains exploiting it again.”
Rainbow snickered. "But at least we have a way to mop the floor with a villain if one were to try it again."
Luna added, “And it was even more impressive that Twilight had preemptively given Starlight some training in alicorn magic as a precaution.”
“Actually, I never trained Starlight in alicorn magic. She is simply as gifted in magic as me, so that was why I thought of the idea of lending her most of our magic. Of course, she was the one to choose what to do with it once she had it.”
Cadance's brain ordered a red alert. She slowly turned toward Twilight and asked, “So let me get this straight. An untrained unicorn in even a single alicorn's magic now has the magic of four alicorns, and on top of her own unicorn magic to boot?”
Sudden realization dug into Twilight’s brain, triggering it to signal its own red alert. Her pupils shrank and mouth fell agape as per said brain's first two orders. "Oooops. Put like that, it sounds much worse than it did in my head. Now that I think of it, we could’ve had Discord 'volunteer' to help–”
*BOOM!*
A shock wave of magic tore through the entirety of Canterlot. Cracks and fissures struck roads, windows, and walls of buildings – even Canterlot Castle watching from a distance. By sheer luck, no pony appeared to be injured but instead just stunned, confused, or annoyed. The ponies who had brought Pinkie's tickets cheered about how they got their money's worth, but also booed about how their houses might require repairs by their landmares.
Oh, and emphasis on how “no pony" was injured.
“Ow,” Chrysalis whimpered as she lay bruised, broken, embarrassed, and defeated. She was utterly ruined – and also some of Canterlot.
“Oops. I-I can fix this, I hope, but I'm sorry, for real, about destroying half of Canterlot. Also, ‘sorry’ for breaking Chrysalis.”
Author's Note
Jokes aside, it was revealed what was written on Twilight's, Starlight's, and Celestia's back, but what would you guess was written on the others' backs?
