Instructions On A Friend

by Doctor Fluffy

The Only Chapter

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“No, it’s la-la-LA, la-la-la! Not la-la-la!”

“What does the tune have to do with-”

“Everything!”

“Okay, la-la-La, la-la-la-LA, la-la-”

“And now, you have to PRONK! Pronk like the WIND! We’re DOING this, whatever-your-name-is, we’re getting it!”

“Can’t I just… walk? It’s really hard in this dress!”

“I mean, you could! If you want. But the most important thing is to be light on your hooves. Like this, see! Otherwise, it hurts like-”

“Pinkie. What in Celestia’s name is going on here? Why are there two of you? Why's one wearing a new dress? Did you use the mirror pool again?!”

“Don’t worry, Twilight! I learned my lesson about that-”

“That's a relief.”

“...After trying to make another party cannon. Apparently, you can’t make artillery in the mirror pool. How pointlessly tragic.”

“...So what happened here, anyway? Obviously it was some kind of magic, but…”

“But?”

“I can’t make heads or tails of it. And she’s definitely not a changeling, right.”

“He said no.”

“I mean, you can call me ‘she,’ both of you!’ It’s fine.”

“You’re sure?”

“…I look like you, Pinkie. I’m all pink, I might as well commit.”

“Okay…. This is making my head hurt. I need both of you to walk me through exactly what happened. What’s… what’s your name?”

“I, uh… Izzy…. I... I... I don't know what th-”

“How about Isidora?! Because... you... is... Adorable! That’d be a cute name for a cute mare!”

“Sure. Yeah. Alright! I love it! Guess I’m Isidora. One of my other favorite ponies is named Izzy, and I probably would've been her otherwise!”

“I don’t understand a single thing that’s happening.”

“It’s okay, Twi! I go through my life not understanding a lot of things.”

“Anyway. What happened, uh… Isidora?”

“So. I’m not… I’m not a pony, and I’m not a girl. At least, I wasn’t before. I’m from another universe. One where, uh… we watch you on TV.”

“What’s… tea-vee?”

“They have it in that other world, Pinkie. It’s like, uh, the movies, but everyone has their own theater.”

“I see, I see…”

“Anyway, we were at a convention dedicated to you.”

“Oooh! Like the Daring Do convention!”

“Exactly.”

“And, Pinkie, I have a costume of... of you. And I was at the convention, thinking ‘God, I wish I knew how to be Pinkie,’ because there’s this cute girl there who can do a dead on impression of Fluttershy, and I always feel so out-of-place dressed like you. Like people just look at my face and suddenly, I’m just some ugly guy-“

“Okay. There’s a lot going over my head here. I'm still hung up on how we're popular enough to get conventions?"

“It’s not important, Twi! We’re almost getting to the most important part!”

“She’s from another universe, her gender got changed, and we’re movies to her! How is that not important?”

“She said she has a limited time to be here!”

“I mean, do we… know that I do?”

“The pinkie sense tells me that you do. Or at least, it’s telling me that there’s some kind of time limit. It’s never dealt with a mysterious traveler from another universe that’s turned into me, anyway. If you’re going to do what you were put here to do, we’re getting through exactly what you told me! Twilight will know how to get you home.”

“I might be an alicorn, but I'm not a miracle worker.”

"Twilight..."

"I'll see what I can do. I'll just need to look at the magic surrounding you. As soon as I know what happened, and how, I'll be able to reverse it."

“Okay. So, Isidora! You were wishing you were me-”

“I mean, I was wishing I knew how to be you-”

“I know what I said.”

“Anyway! I was stepping into the costume, sliding my legs through the holes down into the feet. And I was practically bending over backwards to zip it up from the back, super uncomfortable.”

“That’s why my fluttershy costumes zipped from the front!”

“Wait. Do you have one of me? How many of those do you have?”

“Also, can I have one?"

"Nah, I don't have them on hoof anymore. Flutters did nnnnot like those, let me tell you."

"Anyway, I looked at myself in the mirror. I didn’t feel quite like a woman, not yet, and suddenly I just… hated myself. Like, I wanted to slam my head into something until I stopped moving. It was like I'd been frozen in a block of ice. I get stage fright all the time, but this was something so much more sour, just so much worse! I felt like I’d failed by just coming here, by just putting this on. So I was thinking ‘I can't do this. I just can't do this! I just wish I knew how to be Pinkie,’ trying to unzip the costume…”

“And then what happened?”

“And then I reached for the zipper and it wasn’t there. I started hyperventilating, and everything went black, then I…”

“Then you woke up in the Everfree Forest, as… me.”

“It was so weird learning to walk on four legs! And use my hooves to grab things! So, I… managed a look in some water, and found that I’d turned into you, and I was… happy. I was so, so, happy. I finally felt like a cute girl, I finally felt pink, I felt happy, but I also…”

“What?”

“I didn’t know how to do that. I wandered into town, and everyone smiled at me, laughed, cracked jokes, but I didn’t know how to make them back.”

“So that’s why Fluttershy came by looking so concerned about four hours ago! She thought you… she thought Pinkie… was depressed or anxious and wanted to reach out!”

“No, that was… that was me that time. Isidora was the one that made Rarity worried.”

“Oh. Oh, what happened?”

“Tell Rarity I’m sorry for making her worry, then. And also, I know I said it before, but thanks for the new dress! I’m sure I’d love to hang out with her, but… I had to come here. And talk to Pinkie.”

“Why’d you have to talk to her?”

“I mean. Why not?”

“Well, h… Isidora here said she wanted to be me-”

“No I didn’t-”

“Again, I know what I said. And she came into Sugarcube corner, and I asked 'am I you?!' and she asked 'Are you me?!' and I was all 'yes! I am she as you are me and we are all together now copyright Sapphire Shores!' and we laughed so much at that. But she looked so lost, so I decided I would give her lessons on how to blend into ponyville! How to act like me, how to smile, how to distract yourself from the shrieking voices in your head, and how to stay happy.”

"What was that last bit?"

“She’s been a great teacher! I can pronk now, and I’m so pink and happy!”

“Yeah! We’ve been tag-teaming all day! Nobody even noticed it wasn’t me. Until you. Just now. Isidora here had some trouble at pronking, but she's getting th-”

“WAULGH THE PAIN!!”

“It’s okay! You can take a break. You’re already doing great!”

“...Pinkie. I have… so many questions. But first of all… why?!

“Because she asked?”

“Okay. Okay. But this was totally unnecessary. “

“What do you mean? This was a great idea!”

“I mean, we had somepony… someone… turn into one of us! And they weren’t an evil impersonator! We would’ve been as supportive as possible.”

“But Twilight, don’t you see? This was never about blending in.”

“It wasn’t?”

“What do you mean, it wasn’t? I came in here and said ‘I need to know how to be you.’ Because I was in… this unfamiliar body, and I needed to know how to fit in it.”

“I mean. Maybe it was, but it also wasn’t. It wasn’t just about you wanting to know how to be me. It was about you being happy, Isidora. You seemed so sad when you walked in, and I don’t like seeing anypony sad! Myself included.”

“I mean, I’m happy to be you, but…”

“But?”

“What about my house? What about my mother? My life back home? I mean, I like being you, I like how I feel being you, but I don’t want to just… be Pinkie 2, Electric Boogaloo.”

“Okay, I think I understand what happened. This… is wishing magic!”

“Huh?”

“Oh, like the time the Cutie Mark Crusaders turned into adult mares!”

“Starswirl and I have been working on a way to reverse wishing music without a Wishing Flower. Somehow, it reached between the worlds to yours - I don’t know how. But for wishes like this, the best way to deactivate them is…. Fulfill them. Isidora, remind me again, what was your exact wish?”

“I said I wished I knew how to be Pinkie Pie.”

“But you also totally did want to be me.”

“That’s not what - okay, yeah, fine. I totally did."

"I KNEW IT!"

"In my defense, it’s been pretty fun. Anyway, I wanted to know how to be Pinkie.”

“Then what is it that makes Pinkie Pie? If you know, then I can unspool the magic and send you home.”

“You really think so?”

“I've been inspecting the spell for awhile. The wish just changed you, and teleported you here, instead of changing fundamental reality or the laws of physics. Nothing I haven’t fixed before!”

“Good point.”

“So. Isidora, what is it that made you want to be me?”

“Where are you going with this?”

“Don’t worry, I have a plan! Or at least, I have an outline. Isidora, start with yourself first.”

“Okay. So, I… I’ve never been a happy person, or even a very open one. I’ve only had one serious relationship, and I’ve always struggled to expect the best of my friends. But on the other hand, I loved watching you. My ex-girlfriend, my best friend, she said I was totally you.”

“Why’d you love watching me?”

“Also, why not me?”

“I uh. Look, I love you all, don’t worry. Anyway, one of the first things you learned was to always expect the best of your friends, and… I could be with my best friends and I’d still struggle. But you, Pinkie, you always know your friends love you, and you love them right back. You always find joy and laughter in everything, and you’re so… pink! I think, more than anything, I needed to hear that."

“I feel like the other parts are more important, but thank you!”

“Well, it’s not just the color. It’s like… on some level, you never left behind the joy of being a little girl. You love pink things, fluffy dresses, parties, and you’re always so happy. And… I think liking you, that sort of gave me permission to like girlier things and dress up as you…”

“…”

“...and I’m still not leaving.”

“The conditions of the wish haven’t been fulfilled! You need to go deeper.”

“This is weirdly therapeutic for me.”

“And, and, I’ve always loved how you can brighten up anypony’s day. Your friends, Cheese Sandwich, even people you’ve never met, but most importantly yours. I’ve seen you spiral into deep depression-”

“Wait, have you? Pinkie, this feels like something I should know about.”

“I, uh, don’t wanna go into that one.”

“Then if it breaks the curse, if it gets you talking to your friends about it, then I will. The thing about your depression, Pinkie, is that I’ve seen you pull yourself back up from the brink before. Back when Cheese Sandwich came to town, you reminded yourself how happy you’ve made others, that you weren’t a failure, and that cheered you up. You don’t pretend to be anyone but yourself, and you march to the beat of your own drummer.”

“It’s working! The magic is loosening its grip!”

“I feel a bit lightheaded!”

“Wait. Hold on. If you love all that about me, why can’t you do it?”

“What?”

“You wanted to understand how to be me, and somehow that sent you here. So the final step is to be willing to do it! Now do something only I would do!”

“I… uh… the….Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie, and… uh… I am here to say! How ya doin’? I’m gonna make you smile, and I will brighten up your day…”

“And the wishing magic has been… fulfilled. It’s safe now. I should be able to send you back any time. I’m trying to poke the spell right… now…”

“Actually, I can feel myself… fading… why did… where…”

“Wait! Before you go…. Maybe try harder at being a girl, too? That seems like it was a good influence on you!”

“I’ll… that… bye…”

“I think my ears just popped! Where’d she go?”

“Back to the human world, I think. Maybe to Canterlot High, but I don’t know if I believe that.”

“Why not?”

“I mean, there’s toy ponies there, but we weren’t a TV show? It’s kind of a shame, too. There’s so much I wish I could’ve asked her!”

“Twilight, if I had a bit for every time I got to meet someone who loved me so much they wanted to be like me, and if we include every one of the girls that had that happen, I’d have….”

“Pinkie, where did those other hooves come from?”

“Wow, that’s a lot of bits. Anyway. It’s weird being an inspiration, y’know?”

“It sure is. But, there’s one thing that sticks with me.”

“What’s that?”

“She said you had… depression?”

“Oh, that, it’s, uh, it’s nothing to worry about!”

“Pinkie, we’ve seen what happens when you feel neglected. It’s fine, you can always trust us.”

“I’ve just been missing Rainbow Dash and Cheese, lately. I sent them letters, but they haven’t gotten back to me, and Cheese is planning this massive rager in Seaddle… and there’s one thing I didn’t tell you. I was feeling kinda mopey when Isidora walked in. When she was asking how to be me, it was like… like I was teaching myself to be me, too.”

“Well, Pinkie, if there’s anything I’ve learned since moving here-”

“That doesn’t narrow it down at all.”

“-It’s that only you know how to be you. I guess sometimes though, you do need some help. I don’t understand how you think, I don’t even know if you do…”

“I really don’t!”

“But your friends always know how to help you be… you. They know who you are at your best. Whenever you feel down, Pinkie, whenever you forget your joy… we’ll always be here to help you remember.”

“Thanks, Twilight.”


Author's Note

As made for the dialogue-only contest! And partly because I only have (had. lol) two actually finished fics, and this seemed like a great time to actually hammer out a finished story. The original idea was:

"What if someone turned into Pinkie, a comedy of errors ensues, and I double subvert the premise by having Twilight say it was unnecessary and Pinkie countering that she knew it wasn't, but the human OC wanted to be happy?"

But the dialogue-only story contest isn't conducive to a lot of that. Whatever the conflict was, it had to be resolved fairly quickly cause this all happens in more-or-less real time. And somehow, that led to this being a musing on depression, imposter syndrome, on my own gender identity, Pinkie Pie being like a key that unlocked my ability to like feminine things, (that part was real btw) and just why I love Pinkie Pie so much in the first place.

I probably should've mentioned this but this is based on a real story. I've been cosplaying Pinkie Pie since roughly 2017, and everything I said about her is true. Party of One was the most meaningful episode for me, because it told me something I genuinely needed to hear ("Always expect the best of your friends!"). I really do love all of these things about her.

The part about Pinkie being a little depressed was meant to give a sense of meaning to this borderline character shilling. I mean, it is probably, definitely character shilling, but I liked the idea of this character helping Pinkie out by essentially having her walk her through what makes her so lovable. I don't know if I'm happy with that, it's still sorta character shilling, but it feels better to have the story saying "Don't worry Pinkie, you're perfectly fine and here's why" as opposed to the story being "This is about how Pinkie is best pony."

Adding in Twilight felt natural. Someone had to be the Straight Man to all this, to give context to everything and help move the plot along. Though I will admit, it was very difficult trying to make a dialogue-only story with three ponies! I just know this would be nigh-unreadable if I included more.