Lunar madness

Authors note: DP-Bomb means, (Dairy Product-Bomb.)

The two princesses and Elements of Harmony stood in front of the mix-matched web-work of chaos incarnate. Discord, still frozen in a stae of fear could only glance at them before succumbing to the strain on his eyes.

"Discord." Celestia said.

"Oh! Hello Celly and little Loony-Whoona! What brings you here Celly? Come to tease me with chocolate milk and cake? Or did you finally come to your senses seeing I’m innocent?"

"We've come to make a deal."

"Oh? And what, might I ask can you give me?"

"Freedom."

"What the buck? Are you serious?"

"Yes, quite. Now do you agree?"

"What's the catch? I know when there's one, I’m the one who practically made them."

"Somepony has to watch you. Until you can behave, somepony will guide you along."

"Sure treat me like I'm the animal. All I wanted to do was make all of your lives interesting, I mean, so what if I filled the castle with cheese? It’s Swiss, after all who doesn’t like Swiss?"

"You knew full and well I am lactose-intolerant."

"Aren't we getting off topic? You were about to let the dog out on a leash."

"Yes, now then, which of you will be honored to keep him?" She said turning to the mane six, all of which even pinkie shook their heads.

"Pinkie? Why don't you want me?" Asked Discord confused.

"I'm sorry but, Mr. and Mrs. Cake said I can't have any colts in my room. I would take you if I could."

"It's alright dear, nothing to be sorry for. I know the feeling personally."

"Do you want out or not?"

"Yes! Of course I do! Now let me out!"

"You must promise."

"Alright I promise now-"

"Pinkie promise."

"...Fine, how does it go?"

"Like this silly. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!" Demonstrated pinkie.

"I pinkie promise, to not cause any unnecessary chaos upon release. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."

"Good, now to let you out." Said Celestia almost too serene.

Applejack looked at Celestia who gave a nod.

"Hey why aren't you-"

He didn't have time to finish before a pair of blonde hooves struck the area where his most precious assets are.

Now the un-frozen body of chaos was groaning on the ground glaring at the white alicorn.

"Consider that payment for the cheese."

"Curse you Trollestia." He growled.

"Yes, yes it's all fun and games before somepony gets hurt. Now then, since none of the elements can take you... it shall be Luna."

"What!? Why me? Is this for eating you're cake?" She asked narrowing her eyes.

"No, no sister. He cannot go with the elements, and I cannot have him near me. We do have a certain rivalry."

"It looks like were bunk buddies! So do you want the top or bottom bunk?"

"I am not sharing a bed with you."

"Why? I know to keep my paw and talon to myself."

"That's not what I meant!" She said while her cheeks turned a dark purple.

"So I guess I’m sleeping outside or in a hall?"

"Actually you have your own room."

His eyebrows rose to this. “Me? My own room? Well this is a shocker… oh no! I need to get my stuff!" Before anypony could respond he teleported away and in a few seconds reappeared with a box and a pair of sunglasses on.

Rainbow Dash flew right up to him nearly putting her eye's to his shades. "What did you do!?" She demanded.

"I got my things from Celly and Luna's old castle, see?" He said reaching in not looking before pulling out a teddy bear.

"Bwahahaha! You have a teddy bear!" Rainbow burst out laughing.

"Well atleast I don't have a Wonderbolt filly's only magazine under my bed." He said smirking at her expression.

"I-I do not have any of those!"

"Then what's this?" He said opening a shining portal only to reach in and pull out a small amount of cloud and magazine.

"Not mine!"

"Yes, yes of course. But be honest, who hasn't thought about this sort of thing?" He said looking at the cover before his sunglasses raised themselves. "Celestia! You didn't tell me you were a model!"

The sun goddess quickly turned a bright shade of pink before working her mouth like a fish out of water. All the ponies were staring at her wide eyed and slack-jawed before she flew away.

Luna only said one thing, still trying to comprehend what was happening. "She’s a model?"

"I know! Why didn't they ask me?" Said Discord in mock surprise.

"Can we go now princess? I don't want to keep Spike waiting." Said Twilight calmly, even though her pupils were dilated and her mane a mess.

"You-"

"No! Hold on, just for one minute!" Yelled Discord.

"What is it now?"

"I need to do this first." He said snapping his fingers only to have a statue Twilight appear for him to dance on.

"Awwww, no fair, how come he gets to do that?" Asked Pinkie with her hair deflating.

"Don't be sad, be glad!" Said Discord only to make a second statue appear.

"What the buck Discord?" Sighed Twilight.

"Now I didn't forget about you, I think you deserve some payback, after all. Consider this an act of good-will." He snapped his fingers again only to have a statue him appear under Twilight.

"What the-Discord!" Yelled Twilight startled by the sudden change in height.

"Come on dance!" He cheered.

"Put me down. Now."

"Alright, alright don't get your horn in a twist."

As she was safely teleported to the ground, the rest of the group only could think of one thing to say.

"Why would you think I wanted to dance on you?"

"Enough! Discord, come we have much to discuss." Said Luna impatiently.

He immediately teleported in front of her saluting. "Yes, mam, ham!"

"Discord I will show you to your room. Twilight and friends you may go." Before any of them could say a good-bye she teleported them back to Ponyville.

Luna started ahead keeping a forward eye while Discord hovered over-head.

The halls still smell like cheese from when Discord dropped his "DP-Bomb" on the castle.

Luna made her way past the Throne room, the kitchen and guards cleaning area. Only to arrive at-

"These are yours and Celly's rooms." Discord Announced in amusement.

"Yes, and you shall be in the room in front of ours."

"He turned around only to be greeted by two wooden doors, one made of maple and the other pine."

Luna tilted her head in confusion at his comment. "How did you know what wood they were made of? And why are you narrating it?"

"Because I’m discord, nuff said."

She face-hooved. "Well go in and do what you want, I’ve actually got responsibilities."

"Ya, bye." He said looking at the doors, eyes glazed over.

She teleported away to her tower to lower the moon and after that attend night court.

As he stepped in, he wore a smile rivaling Pinkie's when she found a cotton candy cloud raining Chocolate milk.

The room was empty, aside from a lone bed.

"Perfect." He murmured before cracking his knuckles.