Lunar madness

Luna walked over to little Diddy Discord and pecked him on the cheek.

Celestia was ready to burn the little bug out of existence.

Luna sat back down with a wide grin on her face from getting a new look and seeing Diddy Discord again.

"Sister what do you think of my new Regalia?"

"Absolutely wonderful." She growled keeping her calm demeanor.

"I know, he's been so nice lately towards me. I think i might need to repay him myself?"

"All he's done though is a few favors and make some jewelry. I hardly say that calls for a reward."

"But he did the favors in his free will as his apology to the ones that turned him to stone and now he made me this to help others be not as scared of me. I think I’ll take him out to dinner."

Celestia's mouth dropped. "Y-You're going to do what?"

"I'm taking him out to dinner. Now hush, your day court is beginning."

"Well then, I’d say it's your bed time then sister."

"Actually I think it might be good for me to be up for this one, to learn what to do if you can't make it at one time."

"I must warn you, there is one part of my schedule that I wish for you to depart from before HE enters."

"Who is he, exactly?"

"Auntie Tia! I have filled out the reports of my monthly complaints."

Luna's ears flattened while Celestia frowned.

"Prince Blueblood." Celestia said. "Guards bring me and Luna some extra strength aspirin!"

Discord quickly ran back to his room smiling like an idiot.

While he was going he spotted a blonde unicorn walking down the hall, and as he hadn't pulled any pranks lately. It was too perfect to pass up.

Right as the unicorn was taking another step an invisible whoopee cushion appeared under his hoof. Surprised he quickly looked around until he saw little Diddy Discord, laughing his tail off.

"And what unnatural abomination are you?" He asked in a totally un-racist way.

"Oh, me I’m Discord spirit- actually hang on I need to change back." He snapped his fingers and returned to his regular height. "As I was saying, I am Discord spirit of chaos and disharmony. At your service." he finished in Blue blood's voice.

"Then could you kindly ask the guards following me to stop, please?"

"Sure I’ll try my best. You wouldn't be that Blue Blood fellow that uncouth unicorn back in that backwater town keeps talking about, would you?"

"Finally, somepony who understands my pain. What did she do to you?"

"She helped turn me to stone for the past seven months."

"That sounds extremely dreadful."

"It wasn't all bad; I did get to have a little fun before I was sealed away again."

"And what is it you do?"

"I cause chaos and disorder where ever I go. I was the one after all who filled the castle with Swiss cheese."

"That was you? I must say I rather enjoyed the look on my auntie’s face. She deserved it after letting those savages into the gala."

"You think that was bad, you should have seen her face when she thought she had deafened me! She thought Luna was going to kill her and to make it worse I filled her room with dodo birds... atleast that was until they escaped."

"You filled her room with dodo birds? I must say you have quite a unique way of revenge."

"Revenge? I don't want revenge; I just want to win back the love she took away from me over a thousand years ago."

"So you loved my auntie?"

"Ew! Please I’d rather have her use an oversized cheese grader on me before I love her... no offense."

"None taken, now about those guards?"

"Ah yes, I’ll go deal with them, and watch where you step. There might be strawberry pie everywhere later."

"I see, well I must say it's nice to finally meet somepony that isn't out of their mind."

"Actually I‘m clinically considered crazy, but not insane there is a difference."

He just slowly nodded his head before walking away.

Discord turned around already disliking that little snob.

He saw the guards running in his direction before stopping.

"Hey there guys I’d better hurry. I think i saw a dagger in that guys shirt pocket." And in truth behind his back he snapped his fingers.

They all saluted and ran off. All but one.

He had golden armor so he was obviously with Celestia's guard; he had a natural white coat and a purple mane sticking out.

"You're the one who turned Twilight grey."

"And you are who?"

"Captain Shining Armor and brother to Twilightsparkle."

"Oh, you’re that shiny fellow she's always talking about! We'll it is very nice to meet you."

"I wish I could say the same."

"Oh goodie, another one of those pony's."

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"That your one of the few who hasn't seen that I’m trying to change."

"You filled the castle with cheese though; I doubt you'll change quickly."

"I have changed actually. I’ve already saved a few lives, taught history at a school house, made friends and completed favors for five of the elements."

"Do you expect me to believe that?"

"No but-ohh I don't feel so good."

He held onto his stomach and put a paw over his mouth. His paw didn’t hold when a batch of white smoke appeared and formed into a letter.

"Ah! It must be from Banana's and Dinky."

He unrolled it and began to read aloud while walking who was followed by Shining Armor.

"Hey Mr. Discord! I’m sorry we couldn't write to you earlier but the oven got clogged by a muffin. Well me and my mommy have been having fun and she wanted to thank you for standing up for her and me in school, she also says she would have liked to be there when you were teaching.

Love Dinky. Your best friend."

"So you were telling the truth. Sorry about that." Shining apologized rubbing the back of his neck.

"Oh quite it you little suck up, you don't have to apologize. Hey shouldn't you be going to get that Blueblood fellow?"

"Your right! I need to protect the princess!" He saluted and ran off back to the throne room.

"Finally, some peace and quiet, but what fun is quiet?"

He teleported down to his favorite spot in Ponyville.

"Sugercube Corner. Home of the most insane, physic breaking, random being next to me in existence."

He walked inside and found himself seeing two big blue lakes with two black dots in it.

Pinkie was hugging his face.

"I think you know why I’m here?" He asked trying to pull her off.

"Yep! Your here to give me a favor but since I don't need anything do you want to go just have fun!?"

"That sounds delightful. What do you have in mind?"

He was now trying to get her off using a crowbar.

Her ears laid back while her arms were stretching like her tongue would around a cake.

"I don't know... I don't know!"

"I have a few ideas, if you want to hear them?"

Her eyes lit up before she jumped off his nose making it bounce like a diving board.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!"

"Well were going to need atleast forty-eight ponies, the town's speaker system and my magic."

"Done, done and done!" She finished pointing to the group of ponies outside smiling.

"You never cease to amaze me. Now we begin."

Luna and Celestia both got quiet the shock when they saw Blueblood come in and an even bigger one when he pulled out the dagger when the guards were taking him in.

"Sister I think you should go before anything stranger happens." Celestia said to Luna who only teleported to Discords room to talk.

Inside it looked like it usually did, atleast with Discord living there.

Only one thing was missing.

"Discord, where are you?" She called out.

No answer.

"If this is a joke then it isn't funny."

No answer.

"I guess he's not here... what's this?"

She went over to his bed and saw a small book laying on it. It was an olive green with blue pages as far as what she saw.

"It must be a journal of some kind, I’d rather not read it... but he could be hiding something."

She reluctantly opened it and was shocked to see the pages were blue and the ink was red. She read the first few lines and was relieved when she read that it was from his new licorice pen.

As her went on things got even weirder, there was talk of a "Master" plan, pulling a few jokes on Celestia and...

" He loves me!?"

She was shocked and happy. Which wore off in seconds when she put the pieces together, how fast he changed, why he made her the gift, why he didn't gag whens she kissed him, why he left one bird and why he's always so happy around her.

Now she was just happy, he still loved her!

She hugged the book to her chest and giggled.

She knew he might be upset but that will change when she'd ask him out to dinner, because now she wanted a date.

First though she needed to find him, but where could he have gone?

She opened the book again and went towards the back, it said he had already helped Borelightsparkle, Applejack, Skittles, Ninjashy and the marshmallow diva.

"He must be with Pinkie." She smiled and charged her magic when she heard music coming from outside.

When she went to the window, she saw something going on in the town. Worried she teleported and was shocked to see what was going on.

Absolutely nothing.

She looked around and saw Discord with a trench coat sitting next to Pinkie who was wearing the same thing.

He waved her over to sit down.

When she went over they both were trying to hide their smiles, which they couldn't with what was about to happen.

"Discord why are you wearing that?" Luna asked grabbing a bagel off the trey in the middle of the table.

"It's a surprise. Me and Pinkie along with a few others have got a little surprise for the town."

"What surprise?"

He pulled out a large watch and started to count down. "You'll see in...3...2...and 1!"

Pinkie pulled out a large speaker from her mane and a microphone with a cord running to the center speakers of the town.

She pushed a play button and started to walk away with Discord in tow before starting to dance.

When they both were dancing another pony came out of a shop to the left and then one from the right, and so on until there was a large group in trench coat's dancing.

They put their front hooves/arms wrists on top of the other and started moving their legs side to side.

There were a few other pony's watching.

Next they started to do the "Horse rider" going forward and then back.

There were a lot of pony's watching now and even a few tapping there hooves.

Pinkie was under discord making the same face as when Rainbowdash was up on stage, and all through the back others were doing the same.

Now almost the rest of the town came to watch and half were joining in.

"Discord what is this!?" Luna yelled over the speaker.

"Were doing the Gangnam style!" He yelled back.

"Well I’m going to read a book." Twilight said before closing her window shutters.

Now Discord was in dancing against some pony in a yellow suit, who after losing was carried away in a cart with his hoof up in the air.

When the song did end they all posed with one elbow out while leaning forward with a leg back.

He walked back over with Pinkie who was cackling like a hyena on laughing gas.

"Luna did you see that!? That had to be the most fun I’ve had in eons beside playing around with the new element’s that one time."

"That was very... interesting, but I wanted to ask you something."

"Well ask away!"

"Would you care to go to dinner with me?"

His mouth fell off his jaw making every other pony's jaw fall, not off because that would be impossible. Instead Pinkie had her's on the ground.

"Are you asking me out to dinner?"

"I think you deserve it. You’ve been good so, yes. I’m asking you out on a little... date." She finished her voice in a millennia cracking.

His nose was bleeding partially. "Sure, that sound's absolutely wonderful!" He said before falling backwards with a wide smile on his face.

She smiled, picked him up and teleported him back to his room where she laid him down.

Later that day.

"What a wonderfully delicious chaotic dream... why does my head hurt?" Discord said rubbing his head.

"It was more than a dream." Said Luna walking into the room.

"Ahh! What is with you pony's sneaking up on me; do you want me to start making it rain bowling balls!?"

She rolled her eyes and went over to his bed. "So, I was wondering. Where would you like to go eat?"

"So it wasn't a dream?"

"No, you just passed out after having that nose bleed."

"Huh, I guess that old restaurant I went to that one time. That would be nice."

"You mean, Haylequine's?"

"Yes that one. I wonder if they still wrap those little napkins in the shape of cats?"

"I'm sure. Now go get ready."

She left him there to stare at the wall smiling.

He bolted up with his hands/paw on his face again in "The Scream" pose.

"I need to get ready!"

He bolted to his japonynese changing screen, and jumped out in a black tux, pants and a red bowtie.

"Perfect. Now For some Dental Hygiene!"

He ran to his bathroom and picked up the toothpaste tube held it over his mouth and squeezed the entire tube in, next he did the same with two bottles of mouth wash.

He opened his mouth and put in a ball with bristles covering it, he flicked a switch and it began to vibrate rapidly before he also threw it in.

It was bouncing rapidly around in his mouth pushing at his cheeks.

He spit it out and a wave of brown spit went down the sink. He breathed into his paw and it was encased in ice.

He picked up a sander and sharpened his horns into points; next he picked up wood sealer and put a light coat on them.

He picked up the hair gel and put a large slab onto his mane slicking it back. he even put a little on his eyebrows so they weren’t so bushy.

He took a few steps back admiring his work.

"Swag." He said chuckling at himself.

He exited his room locking it and putting boards on the door along with a cartoonish sized lock before swallowing the key to keep Celestia out.

He turned around and saw Luna, dressed in a jet black dress with purple highlight's, she also had her hair in a ponytail, she was also wearing some make-up because her eyelids had some silver under them.

"I see you clean up well." Luna smirked smiling at him.

"As do you, are you ready your highness?"

"Yes, you may take us there."

He smiled before snapping his fingers and they were at the front of the restaurant.

It was a two story restaurant with the name on the front in neon pink letters.

They both walked up to the colt behind the podium.

"Hello we would like a table." Said the princess as nice as she could to the poor colt who was scared out of his mind seeing Discord there.

"D-Do you h-have a r-reservation?" He stuttered.

"We-"

"Yes we do. it's were slightly late considering I was in stone and her trapped in her own marvelous work of art for over a thousand years." Said Discord.

"I-I'm sorry but y-your names aren't on t-the l-list."

He narrowed his eyes and leaned forward. "Listen buddy, here’s the deal. You let us in or else, got it?"

He looked almost like he was about to pass out until Luna joined in.

"Discord stop it! You’re scaring him!"

He just looked over at her and winked.

"Now since your being so rude I’m afraid I’ll have to... give you enough bit's to retire!"

"No! Please I have two foal's and a wi- wait what!?"

"You heard me, I’ll give you a few jewels to turn in and you and your family can go and live in peace. As long as you let us in that is of course, if you like working here?"

"Wait; let me check the list again. Yes, here they are a Mr. Discord and Princess Luna. I'm sorry for that, this hasn't happened before."

Discord pulled out a small pouch filled with Everfree Diamonds and Sea Pony Sapphires which he gave to the colt who led them to their table.

"What would the Gentlecolt and madam like to drink?" The colt asked holding a notepad and pen.

"Watered wine, please." They both said only to look put their menus down to look at each other.

"What would you like to have today?"

"I'll have the parmesan salad." Luna said giving him the menu.

"I'll have the special." Discord replied giving him the menu.

Once he left Luna turned to Discord with slightly mad expression.

"What was that!?" She hissed.

"That? I was just getting us a table."

"But did you have to scare him like that?"

"Yes, otherwise he would have just gotten us arrested."

"They can't arrest me I’m-"

"What would others think if they saw their ruler skip a law? I hate to have to remind you that your supposed to keep me out of trouble, not the other way around."

"Of course, that would cause major unrest and they might consider letting you take my place."

"Why couldn't I take a different one?"

"You don't handle following the rules well, even if there was another who caused more damage than you ever did to Ponyville."

"Really? Someone else caused more chaos than me? Who was it?"

"It was Pinkie's pet alligator. He barely escaped custody for eighteen accounts of arson and fighting."

"The toothless alligator!? He beat me at what I’ve been doing my entire life in just one night!?"

"Discord keep your voice down. others are here too."

A few of the ponies started to stare as soon as they had walked in.

"Let them stare, their just jealous you asked me to dinner instead of them."

She blushed slightly followed by many wide eyes’ customers.

"Your food and drinks, sir and madam."

The waiter had two glasses of wine, a plate with a small bowl for sauce and a larger bowl for Discord's soup.

He walked off to the manager's office, only one thing he had with him which wasn’t supposed to be with him.

He forgot to give them their water.

"I think I’m getting the hang of being a good-too shoes." He said putting a napkin in his shirt collar and lap.

"I didn't know you were so well mannered Discord."

"Oh I wouldn't say that, there are many things you don't know about me. There are even things that I don't even know about myself."

"What is that?"

"Like how my own magic works-"

"No, no not that. Listen, think I can hear yelling."

The colt from before came running out of the manager's office and threw his shirt and bowtie onto the ground before running of cackling.

"It seems I leave more than chaos now." Discord said until he realized what he had just said.

"Luna! I’m making pony's happy and causing chaos at the same time!"

"That's wonderful Discord, but keep you voice down, please."

"Sorry, but still I’m finally doing it. And all it took was friends and freedom."

He raised his glass to the center of the table.

"A toast to chaos and harmony."

"As well." She said before clinking glasses.

Twenty minutes later they had went through atleast a bottle of wine each and paid for their food.

"So, what now?" Discord said wobbling slightly.

"Let's go back to the castle... I need to lower the moon."

Discord nodded, hiccupped and teleported them back to his room.

Luna walked over to the balcony and lowered her moon and stars down.

"I think it's time to go to bed... wouldn't you agree Discord?"

He was lying on his bed staring at her smiling.

"Yes I think so."

She walked to the door before turning around and getting into his bed.

"I think you room is across the hall?" Discord said scooting to the edge to give her room.

"It's too far." She huffed setting her dress to the side.

"Alright, sleep tight don't let the bedbugs bite."

"Goodnight." She said before kissing him on the lips and then laying down on his chest.

His cheeks were pink, his ears were burning at the top and the top part of his head flew up letting steam come up making a train whistle sound.

He just sat there in surprise before laying his lion paw on her shoulder.

"Like a boss."