Lunar madness

Discord was giddy to say the least.

He finally got to get Luna's attention. Maybe, just maybe one day; her love again.

But first bed.

He fell face first into the pillow with his rump sticking into the air.

When he did wake it was often to stick his head into a chocolate fountain to put on a sleeping mask.

Or to stack chocolate milk glasses in front of Celestia’s door.

He awoke on his own accord, when he decided to not pull the blankets over his head to block out the sun. Not while his Princess needed his help.

He groggily got up and made his way to knock on Celestia’s door. Only it wasn't there, it was in her room.

He chuckled lightly before walking in to ask where the bathroom. What he got was the most horrifying experience in his life.

It was Celestia with a mud mask stepping out of the shower.

She stopped.

They stared.

And he screamed like a little girl running away with his arms over his head into Luna's room.

She was getting ready for bed as it was her sister's job to manage the day court. When Discord of all things came running in.

"Luna! Help! Monster!" Discord yelled his pupils starting to swirl.

"Discord calm down! What's wrong?"

"Shhh! be quiet, it might hear you." He said making duct-tape appear over her mouth.

Next three things happened. The door opened, Discord screamed and swung down with an iron frying pan and Celsestia came in wearing a mud mask.

"Go back to the pit of Tartarus from whence you came!" Discord yelled raising the pan again.

"Discord stop! That’s Celestia!"

He looked at her and back to Celestia rubbing her now bleeding nose.

He raised his arm higher.

"Discord! I'm warning you, don't."

And his hand fell. Hitting her right on the head.

With a hot towel.

"Sorry about that Celly, didn't know it was you." He said nervously tapping his fingers together.

She huffed stood up and what seemed like she was about to walk out reared her hind legs back and sent him through Lunas wall.

Discord was flying through the air holding onto the area between his legs. Again.

He saw Ponyville coming up; he was shocked that for a pony that could beat Pinkie Pie at a cake eating contest had that much force in her.

What he saw next made him put ear plugs into his ears. It was going to get loud, but not from the impact itself.

Rarity was trying to get opal off her new ponyquin.

"Opalescence! You let go of that right now!" She yelled at the cat who hissed and swiped her paw at the unicorn.

"Fine! You leave me no choice; you have done this to yourself." She was about to walk away when something large and tacky crashed through her window.

"Ow, that hurts a lot." Discord wheezed on the floor still holding his privates.

"Discord! Why did you just break my window? Why are you here? Do you know how much-"

He continued to act like he was listening until he snapped his fingers and fixed the window.

He took out his ear plugs and stood there looking at the little marshmallow wondering if she'll melt.

"Listen, I’m here to offer my services to you." He calmly said with his hands raised.

"Why would I want anything from you?" She hissed.

"Because I think you of all ponies would like a little redemption considering I made you fall head over hooves for a rock."

"I thought we never agree to speak of that again?"

"You and your friends agreed to that, I wasn't even present."

"Are you telling the truth or are you here for something else?"

"I am here to give you a free favor, but I’m also here on business."

"What kind of business?" She asked raising several pairs of scissors into the air.

"Royal business. I need some red silk to help make a present for princess Luna."

Her eyes widened and her breathes were short and quick.

"You want my help to make a dress for-"

"Did I say it was a dress? I'm trying to make a new set of regalia for her to wear. Something that won't scare you snobbish ponies."

"We are not snobbish you tacky little-"

"So discriminating and pinning a foal-napping against a zebra you don't even know, saying her mane style is horrid when she can't help it, tossing your friends aside for fame, causing one great discomfort, another to cower in fear, try and upstage that one friend, yell at your own kin constantly when she's just trying to find her permanent place in the world, and judge other races on first glance isn't snobbish then mistake me if I’m wrong."

"That was only me."

"Yet you just admitted to specieism, greed, carelessness and discrimination! Now who’s the snobbish one!?"

"Hmph! if you want some red silk then you may pick whatever color you want. Just as long as you pay for it, and since you don't have any bits you won't get any." She said in satisfaction with her nose held high.

Which only lasted when he blew that statement away.

"You do realize I can make any type of gem I want, right? I could even make some Everfree Ruby's the size of a grown pony. Would that sound like a fair trade?"

Her eyes lit up when she heard "any and gem" come into play.

"Discord, you make a great argument. I accept your offer, silk for a pony sized Everfree Ruby."

"I thought you would," He said pulling out a Rarity shaped ruby from behind his back. "This time though it's not a rock, you can go take a piece to your little friend Spike to make sure."

He put the ruby next to her where he immediately began to expect it.

He walked over carefully to the cloths and not touching any with his hands but instead pillows taped on, inspected each red.

"Hey marshmallow, what red do you think will go with polished silver?"

"I have a name thank you very much, and to answer your question I’d recommend the rose red."

"Which one is that!?"

"The one to the left of your head second down." She said without looking.

"Huh, thanks!" He said clipping off a medium sized piece with the accuracy of a marshmallow.

He took the silk and walked out.

To look up and see the cloud stadium from earlier.

"How'd I miss her house?"

"I don't know, how?" Asked a cheery voice.

"Hello Pinkie. I know you must be as excited as usual but I have a gift to go make, do you know anywhere I can go?"

"You can go to the school house! There having arts and crafts today!"

"That's a splendid idea! Thank you Pinkie Pie, here have a cotton candy cloud." He snapped his fingers once before a cloud formed over her head and started to rain chocolate milk. He snapped his fingers again to get away from her extreme thank you's.

At the school house Dinky and the other crusaders were talking about how to get their Cutie marks that involved some convoluted death defying stunt.

Today though was jewerly making.

"Are you sure we haven’t tried this?" Asked Sweetiebelle.

"I'm sure!" Replied Scootaloo annoyed with her friends attitude.

An audible pop was heard from behind and all their faces turned into smiles when they saw Discord standing there.

"Hello again children, I was hoping to ask your teacher if I could join for arts and craft's. You see I need help making some royal jewelry."

"We were going to try making jewelry!" Scootaloo said.

"Wow, madam Pinkie was right. He would show up in our time of need." Said Sweetiebelle to Applebloom.

"Oh hello Discord, what a pleasure to see you again. Did the princesses ask you to teach again?" Asked Cherilee walking up to him with a small smile.

"In a way... I actually need these four children's help."

Her eyes slightly widened at that. "Let me guess, demolition or bringing the apocalypse?"

"Hey!" All four said in unison.

"I'm joking, now if you all want to help him then go ahead."

"Ya-" Before all four could finish she raised her hoof silencing them.

She turned around facing the class. "Alright children! just like we practiced!"

All the foals went to their desks and pulled out a set of ear plugs, even Cherileee. Leaving a confused Draconequiss behind.

"Alright, continue!"

"Why did-" He was about to ask before being interrupted by four little Royal Canterlot voice's.

"Cutie Mark Royal Jewelry Gift Makers! Yay!"

"That's even worse than Celestia's voice!" He said clutching his horns as hard as he could.

There was an audible snap and then a deathly silence.

He had broken his horns off.

"Does anyone have any glue?"

One foal in the back eating paste walked over to him and handed him the bottle.

Discord dipped each end of his horns into the bottle before reattaching them to his head.

"Alright so can we begin?"

They all nodded their heads before sitting at a large table in the center of the room.

When he tried to sit he kept hitting his head on the ceiling, before he came up with a miserable idea.

He snapped his fingers and slowly he shrunk. He was now Diddy Discord, a little pudgy Draconequiss with little horn stumps, a stout tail, stumpy arms and legs, a big piece of his black mane hanging over his forehead and a large snaggle tooth sticking out of his mouth.

"Wow, you look so adorable." Said Cherilee.

"Hug me and I’m taking over the world." He growled.

"Don't make me put you in time out." She warned.

He merely scoffed and rolled his eyes before snapping his fingers making a large slab of silver appear on the table.

He got on the table and began inspecting it more closely, looking for the right place to strike it.

He saw his opportune spot and kicked it.

Silver dust fell to the floor in a pile leaving only a crown, a chest piece, two small silver olive branches, four bars of silver and four hoof covers.

All the children "Oowed and Awwed" at his work.

"Alright you three I need you to hold the chest piece steady." And instantly the crusader were holding it up unsure of what he was going to do.

He picked two of the bars and started to bend them, slowly but then picked up speed until he was bending them like taffy.

"Alright, now everyone put one of theses on." He said snapping his fingers making wielding masks appear on everypony's face and as an extra for the crusader's hoof covers.

He snapped his fingers and a jar appeared filled with a rainbow liquid.

It was essence of rainbow.

He took the top off and stuck his lips to the top before throwing his head back swallowing it in seconds.

He was fanning his mouth before walking over to where the crusaders were. He put the first of the two bent bars on melting them to place; he did the same with the other side. He then put the silk in between the two bonds encasing the inside in red.

He waved them off and they did before sitting back down next to him as he pulled the crown over.

"What do you think I should put in it? A Sea pony Saphire or an Everfree Diamond?"

"The Diamond defiantly." Said Dinky.

He snapped his fingers again making a small pink gem appear alongside another jar of rainbow.

He pulled the jar over to him. "This is going to suck so many lemons." He said before chugging it.

He melted a small part of the silver in the middle of the crown before putting the gemstone in. Followed by the olive branches.

He snapped his fingers again before a bucket of milk appeared which he jumped in making a big cloud of white steam rise.

"That's better..." He said in relief.

"Now, I need to go and give my gifts to her majesty, princess Luna!" He said teleporting out of the school and back to Canterlot.

He appeared in the throne room where Celestia and Luna sat. Luna without her regular regalia on.

"I got you the jewelry Luna!" Discord said before realizing he didn't change back.

"Aww, look at how little and pudgy you are!" She squealed running up to hug him.

"That's it! Global chaos time!" He yelled with his voice cracking in the middle of the threat.

"Discord did you make this?" Luna asked walking over to the pile of silver and cloth dropping him on his tail.

"Yes, yes no need to thank me. It only took the help of a prissy marshmallow and two jars of rainbow."

"I wish I had a mirror so I could see myself." She said before a mirror came into view.

In a loss for words she looked stunning.

"Discord, this is wonderful thank you." She said walking over to him and planting a quick kiss on his left cheek.

"I am never washing this cheek, ever again." He said mesmerized while rubbing the mark.

Unfortunately, he didn't notice his wings were spread wide.

He had popped a winger.