Lunar madness

Everything was as it should be. Celestia covered in cheese, Cookie attacking the pastry chefs, Discord being chased through the castle by Celestia and Luna watching the whole thing laughing.

"Discord come back here!"

"Why would I do that?"

"So I can send you through a wall for sending me up it!"

"Would you quite with the cheesy jokes?"

Unfortunately he wasn't watching where he was walking and slipped on some cheese.

"Now I got you!"

She was on top of him pinning his shoulders with her front hooves.

"Celestia! You know I’m dating your sister right? I can understand the reason for jealousy though but there is only one of me."

Her cheeks turned a lovely shade of pink but she still had the hellfire burning in her eyes.

"I know that. Now fix my room!"

"Tsk, tsk Celestia. First get off me, second go take a shower and third are you going to eat that?"

He grabbed a slice of Swiss of her horn and then dived into her room. In seconds it was clean with him lying on her bed licking his fingers.

"Now that was good."

"Just get out, and don't walk in without knocking this time."

"Hey it's not my fault you didn't have a door. Actually it is my fault."

"Discord, why don't you and me go down to Ponyville and see if everypony has adjusted fully to you? Who knows, I might dance too if you start another musical number." Luna said already walking away.

Who ran out of the door to leave Clelestia to shower.

He also left Cookie in the shower with her.

He caught up to Luna quickly and made sure to stay by her front, already hearing the screams of her sister he knew they'd be mad but he needed to release some of his periculum.

"That sounded dirty." He mumbled under his breathe.

"What was that dear?"

"Nothing my sweet, just breaking the forth wall again. So would you care to choose the date for out date or would you rather have me?"

"I am free tonight, so it might be our only chance. For now though, why don't we just go enjoy ourselves?"

"Were not that far along yet are we? Although I’m not saying I would mind."

She rolled her eyes and gave him a little push making him chuckle.

"You know Luna, I feel kind of bad having to know that your sister as much as she annoys me, has to deal with snobs like that Blueblood fellow. I think I may go send her a little gift, what do you think?"

She stopped and looked him dead in the eyes. "Discord do not prank her. Her court is stressful enough as it is and she doesn’t need the room filled with seafood again."

"I'm not going to prank her, just send her a little visitor to lighten things up. Although I think i need to go do something before I go."

"Go take a shower yourself?"

His eyes shot open in realization. "I knew I forgot something when you took me out to dinner! How could I be so stupid to forget to shower?"

"You’re not stupid, just insane."

"Thanks you always knew what to say."

He kissed her on the forehead much to her embarrassment before teleporting to his own bathroom.

"I might as well get this over with..."

He got into his cramped little curved shower and turned the water on full blast.

It was arctic cold.

"Augh! Why would anyone put it on this!?" He yelled slithering out before seeing a note on the door.

"Dear Discord, I told you not to mess with me.

Love Cel(Troll)estia."

"Curse you Trollestia." He growled throwing away the note before turning the heat on.

He slithered in and this time it was a nice relaxing warm spray.

After he was done he got out, skipped the mirror because it was covered in ice and left for Ponyville.

And as always they all stared, but this time almost half of them smiled and waved which he returned.

"Now what do I do?" He asked himself walking nowhere in particular.

"Watch out!"

He turned before he was blindsided by a little red wagon, and four foals.

They went flying into a pear cart and came up almost unscathed. That much couldn't be said for Discord.

He peeled himself off the pavement; his tail all the way to his head had two little black wheel marks. He got up and brought out an air pump before blowing himself up like a balloon and making a classic farting sound from his mouth before turning to the driver.

"Do I even want to know why you were going that fast in a public area?"

The Crusader's shrunk slightly.

"We were actually going back to the club house to discuss what course of action to proceed with in trying to obtain our Cutie marks." Sweetiebelle said while getting strange look from the other three.

"That sounds like fun, in fact would you mind if I join you?"

"Don't you already have yours?" Scootaloo asked getting her helmet back on.

"I'm a Draconequiss, not a pony. Well only part pony, snake, deer, dragon, lion, eagle, goat, falcon, bat, basilisk and a hydra."

They all stared at him in shock.

"Ya' can't be part hydra, or basilisk otherwise we'd be stone." Said Applebloom.

"You would be if I weren’t wearing my contact lenses."

"What are those?"

"You ponies put them on your eyes so you can see without glasses while I need them so I don't break my second rule."

"What second rule?" Asked Dinky.

"Here let me show you."

With a snap of his fingers they were all back in Canterlot tower when Discord came back.

Celestia was leading the mane six through the Element's chamber.

"It seems an old foe of mine...someone I thought I had defeated long ago, has returned."

Fluttershy stopped to look at the Stain glass window with Discord on it. And immediately ran back to the group shivering as Celestia continued.

"His name is Discord."

"Discord is the mischievous spirit of disharmony. Before my sister and I stood up to him, he ruled Equestria in an eternal state of unrest and unhappiness."

She glared at the stain glass window of him. "Luna and I saw how miserable life was for earth ponies, pegasi and unicorns alike. So after discovering the Elements of Harmony we combined our powers and rose up against him, turning him to stone."

"Alright princess!" Rainbowdash exclaimed.

She continued to walk through the overly long hallway while still talking.

"I thought the spell we cast would keep him contained forever, but since Luna and I are no longer are connected to the Element's, the spell has been broken."

"No longer connected?" Asked Twilight worriedly.

"This is Canterlot tower, where the Elements are kept inside. Since you all recovered them." She said standing in front of the tacky doors.

"I need you to wield the Elements of Harmony once again and stop Discord, before he thrust's all of Equestria into eternal chaos."

"But why us? Why don't you...?" Asked Twilight.

"Hey, look! We're famous!" Said Pinkie, pointing at the stain glass window of the mane six.

"You six showed the full potential of the Elements by harnessing the magic of your friendship to beat a mighty foe." Celestia continued.

"Although Luna and I once wielded the Elements, it is you who now control their power. And it is you, who must defeat Discord!" She finished flaring her wings.

"Princess Celestia, you can coun’t on-"

"Hold on a second!" Pinkie jumped in with a serious expression.

"Eternal chaos come with chocolate rain, you guy’s! CHOCOLATE RAIN"

Twilight quickly went to her teacher’s side. "Don’t listen to her, princess. We'd be honored to use the Elements of Harmorny once again."

Celestia got in front of the door and put her horn into the lock making all the cracks in it glow. It opened in a flash of blue light revealing and even tackier box.

"You can keep the Elements. I'll take that case." Rarity said.

"Have no fear ponies. I have total confidence that you will be able to defeat Discord," She levitated the box over opening it to reveal nothing. "With these."

Everypony gasped and Celestia dropped the tacky case.

"Oh well. If anypony needs me, I’ll be outside in the chocolate puddles with a giant swizzle straw." Pinkie said leaving as the other ponies watched her leave with their mouths still open.

"The Elements! They’re gone!" Twilight exclaimed as Celestia paced back and forth.

"That chamber is protected by a powerful spell that only I can break. This doesn’t make sense..."

Al sinister laugh echoed throughout the chamber before a disembodied voice began. "Sense? What fun is there in making sense?"

"Discord! Show yourself!"

"Did you miss me Celestia? I've missed you." Said the old stain glass Discord now moving freely on the windows.

"It's quite lonely being encased in stone. But you wouldn't know that, would you? Because I don't turn ponies into stone!"

The present time reappeared.

The crusaders were staring at him in awe and wonder.

"So you don't turn ponies into stone?"

"Why would I? If I wanted a stone pony I’d just make a statue appear. Which gives me and idea to prank the Element's. You three wouldn't mind helping, would you?"

"Sure! Cutie Mark Crusader Pranksters! Yay!"

"My ears!"

"Sorry Discord." They all replied.

Later that day.

Twilight was reorganizing the library for the forth-teenth time that week.

"Spike! Where did you put the ink?"

"I didn't touch it, owlowiscious did."

"Who?" the owl replied.

"You." Spike said turning to the owl.

"Who?"

"You."

"Who?"

"You! Twilight he's doing it again!" Spike huffed folding his arms and turning his back to the owl.

"Spike, he's an owl. That's all he's going to say."

There was a rapid knocking at the door which only grew more frantic.

"I'm coming! Hold your horses!"

She rushed over and saw Sweetiebelle standing there looking out of breathe.

"Sweetiebelle? What's wrong?"

"It's Discord and my sister, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Scootaloo, Dinky, Applebloom, Rainbowdash and Fluttershy! Something's happened!"

"What happened!? Is somepony hurt!?" She asked now scared for her friends and children.

"It was some kind of weird chicken snake! It-it came out of a bush and everypony but me looked at it! I just ran! Discord was the first so he couldn't save us; next it was Fluttershy and then the others!"

"Where are they? We need to find it and make it release them."

"There by Applejacks barn. But what if it's gone-"

Twilight teleported them there in an instant.

She looked around outside but saw no one.

When she looked inside she saw a regular Pinkie part only the guests were more than just a pile of rocks.

Discord was curled around with a screaming expression on his face while his hands were bunched up against his chest.

Fluttershy was using the stare, while the others were frozen in shock.

Even the crusaders were huddled together hugging each other for protection.

"Which way do you think it went? Sweetie-No!"

She looked down in shock to see Sweetiebelle frozen in a posture of fear with one hoof outstretched, pointing.

Right behind her.

Twilight with liquid fury going through her veins spun around only to come face to face with.

Discord, her friends and the crusaders.

She could only just stare in shock looking back and forth between the statues and the ponies plus Draconequiss in front of her.

"Oh! That was the greatest prank I have ever played in my entire life!" Discord laughed rolling on the ground.

And to his surprise Twilight started to laugh to.

"Discord I could kill you right now, but you look too much like Pinkie Pie!" Twilight laughed.

He sat straight up giving her a quizzical expression.

"What do you mean, like Pinkie Pie? I’m not pink, puffy or poufy."

"Yes you are!" She laughed while snorting.

His face turned pale as he summoned a mirror.

He screamed so loud it woke Luna from her sleep.

He was pink and his mane, tail fluff and any other hair on him was bubblegum pink.

"Trollestia!" He yelled down on his knees.

He quickly teleported back to Canterlot castle's throne room.

Where his arge nemesis was sitting there smiling.

"Hello Discord, back so early?"

"You turned me pink!"

"I know your dating my sister but there’s no need to hide your feelings from me, even if I don't feel the same way."

"I hate you so much."

"Then why are you blushing?"

He growled before taking the pink off.

And putting it on Celestia.

"If you'll excuse me, I’ve got a lovely lady to take to Prance for a night on the town."

He teleported out of the throne room and right into Luna’s.

Right when she was stepping out of the shower.

Discord turned away before he saw what she didn't want him to.

She laughed and even snorted.

"Discord it is perfectly alright for you to see me. You've seen me wet before."

"Tis’ not proper for a gentleman to look at a lady as she is not dressed." He replied with a thick Trottingham accent.

"Discord I don't usually wear clothes, none of us do."

It hit him like a ton of bricks.

"Your right! I've been streaking! I feel so alive!" He yelled before running out of Luna’s room and into his.

She merely laughed before drying herself and putting on her makeup and dress.

She saw Discord in the doorway with a black tux opened all the way, a white shirt, white pants with a black belt and a white fedora with the same type of belt.

"Are you ready?" He asked extending his paw.

She took it in her own hoof. "Yes, my sweet."

In an instant they were under the Eifel tower.

"I've never actually been to Prance before." Said Luna taking in the scenery.

"I have, when It was out for those few hours, I turned the tower into a giant sandwiched using the tower as a toothpick. I wonder if anyone remembers me?"

All the Prench ponies saw the two together and immediately pulled out pitchforks and torches.

"Uh oh..."

"Discord now would be a good time to leave."

"Agreed, I think Sugercube Corner is serving dinner now." He snapped his fingers right before the mob reached them.

One lone stallion that was sitting on a bench reading the newspaper only looked up at where they once were.

"Stupid, equestrians."

Both Princess Luna and Discord were back in Ponyville's Sugercube Corner.

There was one table in the entire room, even the counter was gone. And in its place at the front.

Pinkie wearing a small tuxedo with a red tie holding out two menus.

"Your majesty, sir chaos." She said in a business like tone that contradicted her usual self.

"Ugh... Pinkie what is this?" Discord asked looking around the furnished room.

"This is where you and your sweet will be having you date. Sit, please."

They looked at each other before shrugging and taking their seats.

She handed both of them menu's which actually didn't consist of that many diabetes causing dessert's.

"I am trying to give these two a romantic night, and give the fans the good stuff. Be quiet author." She hissed at the author.

"Ya were trying to have a dinner here and all you've done so far is talk. So shut up already." Discord said.

The author sighed telling this needed to hurry up.

"What are you two doing?" Asked Luna.

"Nothing to worry yourself about. I was just telling the author to stop talking and let us eat. It’s a forth wall breaking thing, you wouldn't understand."

"Right, so have you decided what you want?"

"I'll take the carrot steak and watered wine."

"Yes sir, and for the lady?" Pinkie asked.

"I'll have the baked potato and asparagus with watered wine-no wait, moonshine."

"As you wish." She took both of their menus and walked back into the kitchen, while as soon as she went in she came out of the opposite door.

She quickly handed them their food and drinks, leaving them to what she had done to the drinks.

As she was walking back into the kitchen she removed her former attire exposing a black turtle neck and night vision goggles.

"You ready Stalkerloo?" She asked to the darkness only to have three green lights turned on.

"Ya, what about those two?"

"Oh them, well let's just say, it looks like somepony spiked the punch."

Stalkerloo face-hoofed. "Did you just seourisly make that joke again?"

"I don't see what's wrong with it. So you ready to sneak into Sprinkles shop or are you chicken?"

"You Pinkie promised you wouldn't call me that!"

"Your right! Quick let's go before I find me!"

She bolted up the nearest vent with her partner in crime in tow.

"Did you hear something?" Discord asked sipping from his wine after already finishing his meal.

"Yes, it sounded like something’s in the vents."

"It’s probably raccoons."

"Yes you’re probably right. So what have you done today?" She asked sipping from her own drink.

"I taught the crusaders another history lesson, pranked Twilight and I was publicly humiliated by your sister."

Luna groaned shaking her head. "What did she do that was so bad?"

"She turned all my fur pink. Bubblegum pink."

"I hated it when she did that to me."

"She's done it to you? Huh, I guess she isn't as picky as I thought. So what have you been doing?"

"I turned back into Nightmare Moon to save you, freed you from stone, got spied on by a peeping tomcolt and got ran out of Prance by an angry mob on my first visit. It's been very interesting."

"You’re the first person who didn't pause when they said that."

They both took another sip from their drinks until downing them.

Now they were completely wasted.

"H-Hey Luna... Do y-you want to know something?"

"W-What?"

"I-I hear this D-Discord guy thinks you’re pretty."

"I-I know that... H-Hey do you want to go back to the castle?"

"Sure. W-What did you have in mind?"

Her voice took on a sultry tone and her eyes were half closed. "I was thinking me and you, together, in the same bed. Think how mad Tia would be."

"I like that idea."

He teleported them back to Luna’s room. She closed the curtains and he was lying down.

She climbed up and kissed him. He kissed back.

He slowly moved his talon and paw down until he was rubbing her Cutie mark. She moaned in response and flipped them around. He took off his shirt and she took off her dress.

"You ready for dessert?" She asked suggestively.

"You know all my teeth are sweet, sugar."

"Then why not eat this?" She spread her legs apart letting him have full access.

He leaned his head forward and gave a gentle lick before plunging his dragon tongue in. She moaned instantly each time he moved it around.

He slowly moved his tongue further in until he was at his snout. He slowly started to move his tongue in circles eliciting more moans of pleasure from her.

He licked up hitting an extremely sensitive spot. He began tracing around there each time making her moan and twitch even more. She wrapped her back legs around his head forcing him to put his snout in. she felt herself start to tense giving the obvious sign she was about to climax.

He pulled his had away taking in deep breathes.

"I...need...to breathe too." He panted.

She blushed from the alcohol and what she was doing. "Sorry, but it felt so good."

"And I know something that will feel great."

"What?"

"You have to have the main course before the dessert."

He took off his pants exposing his risen dragonhood.

"Well, what are you waiting for?"

He bent forward and kissed her, slowly trailing down her neck and onto her stomach where he stopped and smiled before slowly entering her. She gasped, and moaned even loader than before wrapping her fore-legs around his neck.

He was pushing back and forth even he was growling now. He quickened his pace and started to rub her Cutie mark with his paw and talon while he nibbled on her feathers.

She arched her back in pleasure as he hit a sensitive spot on her wing. He noticed this and began to lick and blow on the particular area sending her senses overboard. In one cry of bliss she was sent over the edge and arched her back letting out a cry of pure ecstasy.

Discord was getting close now also, his breathing became more heavy and hot until he wasn't breathing but once every few thrusts. He growled when he felt her climax and that nearly sent him over but he kept rutting her.

He began to go in faster and faster until she was moaning in delight just barely on the brink of conscious. With one final push he released his load into her letting out a roar that could rival an Ursa Major.

They both lay panting there one asleep while the other just lays there peacefully breathing until he also succumbs to sleep.

"Wow, that was one of the best dreams I think I’ve ever had the pleasure of having." Discord said before yawning.

"It was the best night of my life so far."

He looked to see Luna smiling up at him.

"How mad do you think old Celly will be?"

"How mad will I be about what?" She said walking in and stopping.

She sniffed the air and her eyes widened.

"You little runt!" She yelled making her mane start to smoke.

"It's not my fault or hers! Pinkie Pie drugged our drinks!"

"Do you actually-"

"It's true! I was there!" Said Luna now sitting upright, he mane a mess.

"If that's true, then what do you have to say Discord, because if I get grandkid's I’m holding your sorry tail responsible."

"It looks like I’m..."

He pulls out a pair of black sunglasses and puts them on.

"Royally Bucked!"

And somewhere someone in the room this was played as he finished those words.