Lunar madness

Celestia rolled her eyes at his little joke while Luna was looking around trying to see where the noise had come from.

When a loud gargle emanated through the room.

"It looks like that little experience has left me a bit empty." Discord chuckled before summoning a stack of apple pancakes with bacon.

Both of the princesses just stared at the strange meat. Because they didn't know it was meat.

"Discord, what is that horrid smell coming from that?" Luna said putting a hoof over her nose to keep out the smell.

"Bacon."

"I've never smelled hay bacon strips like that before."

He raised an eyebrow before finally getting it. "Oh, oh! You thought this was hay. I hate to admit this but I’m not entirely a herbivore."

"What does that mean?" Celestia asked putting up a spell to keep out the smell.

"I'm an omnivore, I eat meat and plants. Although I do have two stomachs for each so if one is full I need to fill the other."

He shrugged at their shocked expressions before continuing to eat in his room.

"This could cause problems." Celestia said.

"I don't think he'll eat anypony, so I doubt there is any need to worry about that."

"No, I mean about the kids."

Luna's eye's shot open. "W-What kid's?"

"Did he use protection or... go inside of you?"

"No and yes... wait, does that mean I could be-"

"No, it seems you are. I failed to tell you this earlier because I didn't think I would have to. As it seems the actions of a certain Element of laughter have caused this, I need you two to go shopping."

"Shopping? For what?"

"The essential's you know, formula, diapers, a crib or two, blanket's, toys, baby stuff. I'm sure you'll be alright."

"So I’m going to be a mother?"

"It seems so, as you know Discord is more than one way unique to ponies and we alicorns. He can have children with any being he chooses."

Luna looked like she was about to cry before she smiled and cried running out of the room. Not soon after there was the sound of a plate shattering, choking and finally something hitting the floor.

Luna walked back in with no expression visible on her face.

"Celestia, I told Discord and he seems... happy. I think that when he wakes up we'll go down to Ponyville and he can earn a few bits before we go shopping. He also might need the jaws of life."

She walked back out to go get some breakfast herself.

"Atleast he's happy. I just hope I don't get another Blueblood." Celestia shivered at the thought of another him running around only with the power to bend reality.

One hour later in Discord’s room.

He suddenly woke up taking in a deep breath of air. "Wha-What's going on!? Where am I!?"

He looked around frantically until noticing Celestia sitting there smiling.

He also noticed he had something in his mouth.

He pulled it out and found it to be some sort of clamp.

"Celestia, why were the Jaws of Life being used on me?"

"You fainted after you started to cheer that you were having a child, and you chocked on your food."

"I think I remember that, and Luna stroking my paw earlier. But I think that was just a figment of my imagination."

"Yes it was now you and her need to go down to Ponyville so you can earn a few bits to by baby supplies."

"You do realize who you’re talking too, right? I don't need to buy anything, when I can just make it appear out of thin air. Plus do you think it'll be a good idea for me and her to go shopping for baby items when there’s a walking marshmallow who gossips daily, a hyperactive sugar pony who won't stop talking and would through a part if she found out, a pony who can’t lie, another pony who'll let it slip and another who'll just say it in a type of question?"

Celestia was speechless; she hadn't thought of any of that and risked the public finding out.

"You actually thought it through, I’m impressed. Yet still worried for the children."

"Why? They have two loving parent's, an insane auntie, a house over there head, food to eat, and the most responsible dad to exist."

"You? Responsible? Please, that's the day when I give you the throne and I become your servant."

"I remember when you were at one time. You looked so silly in that pink Prench maid outfit."

"I thought we agree to not speak of that ever again."

"I had my fingers crossed. That’s another perk with being me; I cannot promise a promise when I do that."

"Can you atleast promise to marry Luna?"

"Why? Are you finally giving me your blessing?"

"No, I need to see you two commit a single act of true love that isn't acted out."

"I can copy my memory of me and Luna bucking?"

"Please no, I’m stressed out enough as it is."

"Oh that reminds me! Here take this!" He handed her a pink umbrella.

"What's this for?"

"because, it looks like we might be due for a big old storm of chaos!"

"I should be worried but I just don't give a buck. Do what you want but I expect to see my sister in a wedding dress."

Celestia walked out carrying the umbrella on her back.

Discord was going to hate this next part.

He had to read.

He teleported to the Canterlot library, it still had cheeses dust yet smelled like parchment.

He walked over to the mare behind the desk who didn't seem to care he was there.

"Excuse me mam, but do you have any books on transdimentional teleportation?"

"Isle five, section ACB104I65B."

"Thank you."

He walked over to the fifth isle and started to search immediately, after a while he just picked up a random book and low and behold it was the one he was looking for.

"Now it’s time to study." He physically grimaced at the thought of even looking in a book that didn't have pictures or was another gateway to another universe.

But in a way, this was another gateway to another universe.

He opened the book slowly as if expecting him to attack him, like that monster book did.

All he saw were words.

He quickly let out a sigh of relief and started to skim the pages until he found what he was looking for.

After a half hour he knew what he needed and if someone/pony saw him they'd call him "Giddy Discord."

He quickly threw the book behind him and ran to find Luna.

Who was walking into the library when he got the door slammed in his face.

"Discord? What are you doing in a library?"

"No time to explain! We need to find your sister! Where is she?"

"She's in day court, inside the throne room. Why-"

She found herself right outside of the doors to the throne room with Discord peeking inside.

"This is going to be great!"

"Who or what are you summoning?"

"The most chaotic being next to me and Pinkie Pie," He said aiming his talon like a gun at the throne rooms ceiling, letting it charge with magic. "60s era Spiderman!"

He shot the magic, whoever was in there were screaming and Celestia opened up her umbrella letting it fold upwards.

There were white clouds forming overhead, swirling, and becoming darker before there was a bright flash of light.

And there on the table, was a man wearing a spider suit.

He looked around and saw all the ponies. "Holy shit I’m high."

Celestia was staring at the "creature" unsure of what to make of it.

"Who are you? And what are you?"

"I'm Human, and I’m Spiderman!"

He tried to shoot his webs only to get lifted up a few feet before realizing he was stuck ground level.

He crossed his arms and sat down on the table. "This is bullshit, nobody grounds Spiderman."

"Discord get in here!"

The door immediately opened up letting in a giggling Draconequiss and lunar princess.

"Discord, send him back now." Celestia said making him stop giggling before slowly backing up to the window.

"You see the thing is-Spiderman jump!"

Both Discord and Spiderman jumped out the window.

Leaving an entire court room of confused ponies in their wake.

They all said the first thing that came to mind.

"What. The. Buck."