The Scientist and the Queen
... and the really sappy bonus epilogue
My name is Thermal Derivative, and I think I’m about to become Dr Thermal Derivative. It all hinges on what professor Florence Lim thought of my viva, which was really bucking tough. But that’s how she treats all the students she likes. If you’re not performing at your best, she’ll point it out as blunt as a battering ram crushing down the double doors to the palace. Best way to do it though, this subject is tough and you have to be prepared to defend any statement you make at any time. Although if you’re in, you’re in and it’s chill. Kind of toxic when you think about it.
My research focused on single molecular junctions for efficient charge transfer in enzymatic systems. In laypony terms, I make really thin wires that aren’t exactly wires because electrons tunnel through the HOMO/LUMO gap unlike a traditional wire where-
I’ll stop myself there, that's usually where my parents start gawking at me like I’ve grown a horn and am now Prince Thermal Derivative. It’s not as impressive as it sounds. I spent most of my time in the lab huffing d-chloroform while trying to balance the gilson pipette that was designed for unicorns in my heavily gloved wings. I usually spill, but it’s okay because apparently d-chloroform is ‘way too easy to make’ and ‘stupidly cheap’ according to Dr. Lim.
I mean, it better be cheap, she owns the company that makes it.
I don’t particularly think my lab skills are all that, but Dr. Lim says I’m ‘not bad’ in the lab so I stick around. That’s about as high praise as you get from Dr. Lim, her saying ‘not bad’ is like her literally breaking out into song about how amazing whatever you did was. Which she never actually does because she can’t ‘feel the magic’ or something.
That’s just one of the many quirks of Dr. Florence Lim. Despite being a ‘mare’, she never goes into heat. Despite having a monopoly on every single chemical that is ever produced in the Crystal Empire ever, she lives in a tiny bungalow in the burbs and rides the train to work.
Although, those aren’t her biggest quirks.
She’s married to Chrysalis. The one who tried to take over Equestria not once, but twice.
That’s enough to make most ponies run away screaming, afraid that she’ll release some sort of mind control gas into the room and make them all changeling slaves. Which is really odd because then they’ll scarf down the paracetamol produced by her company when they have a cold.
They’ll also point hooves at her, saying that she shouldn’t be allowed to live in Equestria because she’s just biding time to take over with her wife. Then they’ll praise the invention of magi-computers. Guess who laid the groundwork?
I really don’t understand it. I’ve met her, Dr. Lim’s wife. She really isn’t all that. Made me a ‘cuppa’ when I showed up one time to discuss thin layer deposition techniques and Dr. Lim wasn’t home. She then showed me the back garden which was ‘bomb as fawk’ (a phrase from Dr. Lim’s vocabulary).
She is reformed. But that doesn’t sell papers.
“Thermal, you can come in now.” Dr. Lim’s alto tone flows down the hall. I perk up my ears and scamper. No time wasting around Dr. Lim. Through the door and in the seat, I look up and she’s smiling. The smile most ponies call evil.
I know the truth. Getting Dr. Florence-bucking-Lim to smile was borderline impossible. It was like hitting a bullseye through a molecular sieve while being spun around on a vinyl at rapidly interchanging RPMs.
“Fantastic. Utterly brilliant. Synthesis methods were dodgy but I think you know that. You also muffed the characterizations but I can't blame you, we haven’t exactly figured out how to get the resolution on the STM machine down to single nanometers yet. I look forward to what's next, Dr. Thermal Derivative.”
Her fist is outstretched. I bump it.
I can not believe it.
I am the first ever pony in Equestria to have completed a PhD under the tutelage of the infamous Dr. Florence Lim. The first pony in twelve years.
…
To be honest, I would have left the Crystal Empire far, far, far behind if I were them.
.
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.
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My name is Dr. Florence Lim and I am the owner of the biggest chemical company in the Crystal Empire-slash-Equestria-slash-this whole planet.
Don’t worry, I’m not a cunthead, essential pharmacy products are free, subsidized by my other chemical productions. Acetic acid, ethanol blah blah, thank God I don’t run it. Work at CEPU keeps me busy enough.
I’m loaded now. Which feels nice. I dunno, I give most of it to Cadance. She knows what to do with it.
Although the weird thing is that money is somehow going back into my pockets because I’m being paid to design a detector for MDMA and all such ‘bespoke’ derivatives. Magical detectors were iffy at best for the ‘enchanted’ drugs so they turned to me for a more chemical solution.
Caddie isn’t so bad. She’s kinda chill, although it took a really long time for her to be chill with me, especially because of my marital status. Twilight helped a lot with that. Twilight’s been helping me with a lot of shit, especially after I told her that Chrys and I were kind of in love. Something about ‘finally! reformation!’ or whatever, I tend to tune her out when she gets into one of her rants.
Speaking of, Twilight helped Chrys squash the beef with Caddie. We do Christmas now. Er, hearth's warming or whatever. Same idea, twelve days, yada yada, exchange gifts, talk, find an excuse to leave early because either me or Chrys are giving each other bedroom eyes…
Good times.
We live in the Empire, a nice bungalow, roomy garden, Chrys is growing cantaloupes. Oh my God they taste so good.
Innuendo half intended.
What. She secretes… something. It’s hot. Fuck off.
Okay, the elephant is getting increasingly impatient, so I suppose I ought to address it.
Yes. I stayed. Even though pretty much everypony still thinks I’m some sort of evil villain just waiting to do some nefarious thing to take over Equestria forever.
I stayed despite all the shit that I get from the other members of faculty whenever I show up for a work event. Especially the idiot mugs from the naturalist magic department. Times change, get a life.
I stayed despite the consistent gibbering and pestering I get from all these stupid motherbuckers trying to tell me that I should start charging more for the chemicals my companies make.
Why?
My wife. Duh.
And I’ve decided to put aside my pride. I need to call Shining.
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My name is Chrysalis and I’m busy preparing dinner for tonight. It’s a dinner party- Flurry Heart just got her highschool results back and they were pretty good so we invited everypony around to celebrate.
Ok not really, hosting at ours would have been a nightmare and a half so I’m in the castle kitchen right now whipping cream for a cheese souffle. Flurry loves cheese souffles. A close second is braised white asparagus in truffle cream. Didn’t have time to make the broth this time, she’ll have to settle for a stock cube.
If you couldn’t tell already, I absolutely adore domestic life.
Don’t get me wrong, invading Equestria, becoming its sovereign… I think about it from time to time. Ah~ I’d get those filthy, no good, lower-than-me ponies to build my darling wife a beautiful palace in the hills. Concubines a-plenty, if my darling likes the look of one, they’d serve her for eternity! We’d spend our days in pure bliss, our every whim catered to…
HA!~
Only joking! I left those fantasies long behind me. But it’s still fun to think about them. No, I much prefer my life now.
Having somepony to live for is… refreshing.
*Rinnnnnnnng- clink*
That’s the timer for the roasted pepper and tomato soup. Vegetables all provided by me, of course, from the garden. Flo insisted on the garden. I didn’t really understand why until I ended up taking over because-
Ah! That story.
Listen close, I’ll tell you a secret.
Despite the Great Dr. Florence Lim’s status as ‘chemical genius of the century’, she is absolute crap at anything related to cooking, gardening- the lot! Just the other day I asked her to dice up some carrots for me. I come back and they are the biggest and most irregular chunks of carrots I have ever seen in my life! I just don’t understand how somepony who’s whole job involves atomic precision can be so terrible at cutting things up into small, uniform pieces.
Suffice to say the ragu that night was incredibly chunky.
I love her to bits, though, even through all her annoying habits and legendary stubbornness.
I mentioned the garden, right? The one I took over?
Well, it took about 3 years of plants either not producing anything or straight up dying before she gave up. I mean, she was charging out there everyday, fertilizer and shovel raised high above her head ready to finally tame the garden and make it her food producing servant.
She was so obsessed that I was starting to get jealous!
But then again, that's what makes her so… amazing. That rigorous tenacity.
Ponies only see the outcomes, but the work she put in to make those inventions a reality?
Countless nights pouring over data. Countless requests for cups of tea and late night snuggles when the curve just didn't quite fit her expectations.
I love her.
Life is… good.
Well.
I dunno.
I’ve been craving something else recently.
And it’s not the subjugation of all equestrian races.
…
Children.
I want children.
A clutch of grubs, running around, getting into trouble.
Flo, I love her dearly, sadly lacks the equipment for making them- and I wouldn’t have it any other way, really. I love her just the way she is. But I would really love it if we could raise some grubs, just the two of us together. I have so much love to give now, I see it.
But… I- I mean…
We did talk about… I thought, maybe we could ask if somepony could… but she didn’t really like-
*Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing*
My meringues!
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.
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My name is Flurry Heart and I am eating simply the most amazing meal right now. The asparagus is cooked to perfection- although clearly the braising broth was made from a stock cube. Not exactly auntie’s fault.
The truffle cream sauce is, as always, to die for. I can practically feel my mother staring at my plate, her bread ready to sop up any of the sauce I have left on my plate. She’s a glutton. Takes after her mentor and my other aunt, Celestia. She couldn’t be here today because she’s entertaining her new coltfriend.
Here’s hoping this one sticks. Although, at her age, I reckon she’s just looking for some fun.
Her sister couldn’t make it either, she’s performing in Canterlot tonight. Beethooven’s piano concerto no. 4. Sent me tickets for the matinee two days from now- a sort of tradition whenever she’s doing a set.
But still, those present at the table- mother, father, Flo, and Chrys, are those closest to me. Only two of them are ponies, my parents.
Yeah, I’ve got a weird family. Love them to bits, though.
“So. You’re dead set on Canterlot then?” Auntie Flo bluntly asks, scraping the knife gripped in her ‘hand’ on the side of her plate. Not this again.
“Yeah, I am. I think it’s the best choice for-” I can't even finish my sentence before Auntie Flo cuts me off with a dull, humourless laugh.
“Those old farts? They’re still stuck in the bronze ages. I’ll tell you a secret, all the-”
“Equipment they have in their labs were once owned by you, yeah yeah.” I finish her sentence, having heard the same old crap from her multiple times. Auntie Flo, of course being the stubborn goat she is, doubles down by leaning forward, getting into my face.
“Precisely. So what reason do you have to hang out in that dusty old cobwebby lab with all that shitty-”
“Language!” Auntie Chrys cuts Auntie Flo off with a deft smack of the back of her head.
“Wot! She’s eighteen, her ears can handle it!” Auntie Flo retorts, casting her wife a half glare. I share a look with my mother. Here they go again.
“You should hear Shining swear when we’re playing-”
“Oi! Don’t drag me into this!” My dad cries out, his mouth still stuffed with bread and asparagus. A bit of truffle sauce dribbles down his chin.
And to think he used to be captain of the guard.
“You two! Honestly, poisoning poor Flurry’s mind with all that disgusting language.” Auntie Chrys crosses her front hooves, petulantly turning her head away. My mother and I share a giggle.
You want me to stop them? My mother telepathically asks.
Nah. This is fun. I’ll miss it. I reply. Smirking, my mother leans back into her chair, dabbing her mouth with her napkin to hide her laughter.
“-only reason I get heated is because you keep winning!”
They’re odd creatures.
“It’s not my fault you failed basic mathematics. It’s all probability based.”
Always arguing about this and that.
“Darling, you count cards. I know you do.”
They don't mean it though. I can feel the mood, they all love each other.
“YOU WHAT!? I KNEW YOU WERE CHEATING! GIVE ME BACK MY BITS!”
And I love all of them too.
“Well, I’m sorry for being infinitely smarter and more capable than you. Why don’t you learn to count so I can actually have a challenge for once?”
Okay this is getting out of hand though.
“I’ll miss you too, Auntie Flo, love you!” I shout above the burble of banter. As expected, the noise stops. The only thing Auntie Flo hates more than what she views as incompetence is sappy-ness. A collective breath is held as the table prepares for me to be berated by Auntie Flo.
Will she tell me to shut my syrupy mouth up?
Or maybe a classic ‘you’re giving me diabetes with all that sap’?
A tense few seconds pass.
Auntie Flo opens her mouth.
Nothing.
This is highly irregular.
“I love you too.” Comes the words that my aunt wouldn’t be caught dead saying to me. She barely says it to her wife. Her face is hard and wrinkly, lips pressed together tightly. She only gets like this when I’m in trouble or I got anything less than an A+ in maths or science.
“You are brilliant. Don’t let those mugs at Canterlot tell you otherwise. You will do great things. I know it.”
The entire table has their mouths hung open in shock.
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My name is Shining Armour and I am loving my retired life! It’s great! No more patrol routes, no more paperwork, no more doubling down on soldier discipline, it’s just me and indoor cup golf…
Okay yeah, I can’t keep this up. I am simply bored out of my shit-buck mind.
But not the bad kind of bored?
I mean I have like five billion different skills I never would have picked up if it wasn’t for the copious amounts of free time.
Need a baby sweater? Crochet or knit?
Gotta set up a magi-computer? What’s your specs?
Leaky pipe? I’m your stallion.
Ok that sounded like…
Nevermind.
Well, at least being retired means that I can be there for Flurry. Tonight’s a big night, we are celebrating her graduation.
Honours by the way. Oh yeah, I’m such a great dad.
Dessert was fantastic, courtesy of the former nemesis of my wife and I. Eton mess, a recipe from the world of my long time, bipedal friend.
On its face, it looks like a crock of shit. Smashed up meringues and strawberries all mixed together in the thickest cream known to pony kind. But it, as the kids say, ‘slaps hard’.
Flurry always cringes to death when I say that.
Right now, I am enjoying a vintage scotch on the balcony. Next to me sits Flo, who is somehow now a friend of mine.
What a crazy relationship this is. Fifteen odd years ago, I’m snooping around her lab because some wad in intelligence reported that she was making mind control gas.
She was actually trying to cure cancer. Sadly, it didn’t work. However it turns out the side effects from that gas causes rats to get instant boners. Made a hefty chunk off of that, most of which fortunately ended up in the government treasury because for some reason Flo is a philanthropist or something.
Now she comes over every Thursday night and absolutely robs me and my friends blind at whatever card game we decide to play.
I’m down like ten thousand bits to her.
Don’t tell Cadance.
Speaking of Flo, she’s being awfully quiet today. I know Flurry moving away is hard for her- I mean Flo and Chryssie had a huge hoof in raising Flurry. But something else seems to be heavy on her mind.
“What’s up with you?” I ask. Always good to be blunt and direct with Flo. She doesn’t stop staring at the stars, her eyes tracing the patterns, brow still as furrowed as when she stepped outside.
I wait. Flo hates being disturbed when thinking. She once threw a beaker at me for interrupting her while she was pouring over a new synthesis method for ammonia.
I wait.
Another sip of scotch. It no longer burns my throat like it used to. Funny how time changes things.
Finally, she turns to me.
“Hey. You remember that thing you offered to do for me.” She mutters.
“You’re going to have to be more specific. I’ve offered, and done, a lot of things for you.” I deadpan. Usually this is when the banter starts. Instead, she somehow looks even more pensive than she already does.
“You know. Chrys and I. Our problem. Wrong tools. Does that offer still stand.”
“Ah. I get you… I thought you were going to come up with some bullshit science-y solution for that?”
Flo’s face turns even darker. She looks away in what feels like a display of… shame?
“Nah… It's just…” She pauses to knock back the rest of her drink, “I really shouldn’t mess with that stuff. I can’t really guarantee anything. Life shouldn’t be messed around with.” She murmurs over the ambient sound of night.
“So, basically, you failed.” I say, pouring out another glass of scotch for Flo. She laughs in response.
“Yeah. I’m completely stumped. But I don’t care anymore. I don’t have to be right about everything. And even if they don’t share my DNA, they’ll still be my kids.” She says, licking her lips before taking another sip of scotch. Ordinarily, I’d rib her to no end. But it just doesn’t feel right.
“Yeah, of course my offer stands. And you’ll be great parents, both of ya. You’ve already proved it with Flurry.”
I expect a sharp pain in my ribs, delivered by Flo.
Instead, I see the warmest smile I have ever seen in my life.
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.
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My name is Cadance, and I’m practically shaking with excitement. Shining just told me the most wonderful news.
Flurry had just turned in for bed, being worn out from all the celebrations. Around the fireplace sit a few of the creatures I (somehow) hold most dear to my heart.
Flo and Chryssie are snuggled up against each other, the love emanating from them almost making me barf. I had to excuse myself when Flo told Chrys the news.
Shining is loafed up next to me, head on my barrel.
“Okay, but you have to let me name at least one, I’m the one who’s finding you the top secret impregnator agent.” Shining whines. The death glare from both Flo and Chryssie could melt steel.
“You call the donor a ‘top secret impregnator agent’ again and I’ll bite your head off.” Chryssie snarls, baring her fangs and Shining Armor and hissing. Flo crosses her arms and nods in agreement.
“Alright, my bad. But I can name a kid, right?” My husband asks. I bap him on the head with my wing.
“Dear, leave it.” I lecture. He pouts at me, laying his chin on my barrel and flashing me his puppy dog eyes. Thankfully, our many years of marriage have allowed me to build up an impressive resistance against his tactics. I maintain my stony face at him, even though I just want to pinch his cheeks in my hooves and say a bunch of things that will get me voted into the most cringe celebrity couples list.
“Hey, why not. It’s just one out of… what? Thirty?” Flo casually says, changing from scritching Chryssie’s neck to the space behind her ears. Gods those ‘hands’ of hers make me jealous. Of course, not that there’s anything wrong with my dear Shiny.
“Mhhhh thirty to fifty, depending on how virile this ‘impregnator’ agent is.” Chryssie says, pushing her head deeper into Flo’s scritches.
“I-Wha- Okay, so I can’t say that but you can?” Shining jokingly demands. Flo and Chryssie sit up, ready to engage in another banter-war.
Ah, here we go again. I take another sip of port, a toast to myself.
To more happy days like these in the future.
Author's Note
I decided it was about time to give the two a happy ending.
I did the thing again where I leave out details for you (the reader) to fill in and come up with yourselves. Yes. I'm lazy.
Don't worry, I'm not into the whole 'immortal watching their lover die' trope so you won't have to sit through any bittersweet farewells in the future. Instead you can come up with them yourselves.
Hope you lot enjoyed.
The Scientist and the Queen
My name is Florence and I am about to give my first lecture at Crystal Empire Polytechnic University.
I’m Dr. Florence by the way, Dr. Florence Lim. Not a medical doctor, but a doctor of science. Chemistry, focus in supramolecular chemistry and material science. Yas, I’m a science girlie, isn't that slay (it’s not).
Basically, I make shit in the lab. Due to my ‘unique’ circumstances, I can make whatever shit I want now. Apparently I’m a genius or something. At least that’s what Twilight calls me. She fast tracked my PhD for me after we developed a new ‘hypermagic’ catalyst. I think the article title was Novel Metal Organic Frameworks (MOFs) in Magical Storage and Catalysis.
Yes. Magic. This world has magic and I was a victim to it. I’m over it though. Mostly. It has been a year and a half after all. It sucks. There is math behind it but it’s all thermodynamics shit meaning it doesn’t make any sense. Also it’s pretty ridiculous, with things like emotions and whatever coming into play. But then again, Twilight called quantum mechanics ridiculous (rightfully so) when I explained it to her. She came around after I mathed it out. She practically had an orgasm when I showed her atomic orbitals and how to linearly combine them.
Anyway, Twilight and I had developed Au/ZIF-6-C supercatalysts during my short tenure at University of Canterlot. That shit was pretty easy to synthesize all things considered, Twilight helped a lot. She’s cool. Smart girlie like me, I can respect that. Princess of the land.
But then again this is a ‘mare’s world’ which is really weird for me. I had to work my ass off to get noticed back home. Fuckers wanted to relegate me to fucking lab technician jail.
My hands are freezing right now. It’s really cold in the lecture theater. Scratch that. It’s really cold in the Crystal Empire in general. Ponies walk around in fur all the time. I have skin. At least Rarity made me this big winter trench coat before I left Ponyville based on a few designs I haphazardly drew on a napkin whilst off my head on AppleFarmstm cider. Element of generosity my arse, I had to pay 500 bits for it.
My time in Ponyville sucked even though I didn’t really spend much time there. I was mostly commuting into Canterlot daily to hit the labs before heading back. I didn’t make any friends because I was depressed as hell. You know, loss of family, new world, the works. Plus I’m intimidating? Dunno, I was always that slightly rebellious, unflashy girl that everybody ignored. Kinda weird to be stared at so intensely.
Actually, to say I didn’t make any friends is disingenuous. I did make a friend. She didn’t help the stares.
Chrys, the emosquito. Emo because she eats emotions which is weird enough. Mosquito because she looks like a bug. Not like gross or anything. Kinda like a hole-y pony-bug hybrid thing? Don’t ask.
She was great. Ponies can't really take snark, they get sad too quickly. Chrys wasn’t like that, always willing to joke around and tease. Plus she was an outcast, like me, which made connecting easy. I have very fond memories of just hanging out in her cell. Sometimes we’d chat and joke. She’s really funny. Sometimes we’d just kinda hang out in respectful silence.
Once ponies found out that she and I were hanging, I was very quickly branded as the town dope. Not really sure who leaked it, I have a feeling it was that guard. The one with the red mane. Probably had family back home in Ponyville.
Apparently Chrys is an evil villain of the highest nefariousness or whatever. She really doesn't seem that evil to me. I mean she told me about what she did and all, but she seemed really sad about it. Her children were starving after all. And then they abandoned her. Nopony cares. And I’m the ‘meanie pants’.
That’s why I left, I couldn’t take the staring anymore. City is way better than small town. More weirdos in a city which meant less stares (or shrinking). Couldn’t go to Canterlot because everypony there knew. At least the pay they were offering at Crystal Empire Polytechnic was fucking insane. Chrys didn’t come for obvious reasons. But she says she’ll come visit me once she’s figured some stuff out.
I really miss her.
Ponies start to filter into the lecture hall. I know my class is going to be small. I double check the handwritten slides. Still somehow better than powerpoint. Today was induction day so my slides are simple. Simple to me but it’ll probably scare the shit out of them. Looks like everypony (finally got used to that) is here, so I start. I click the projector on, silencing the room. It beams a picture of my face to the class.
“Hello. My name is Dr. Florence Lim and I will be teaching the COM0030 module otherwise known as ‘Introduction to Advanced Chemistry’.” I start, cringing when my voice cracks a little at the beginning. I take a sip of water.
“Now, you lot are here because you A) chose to take this module, but more importantly B) received distinctions on your first year exams. Firstly, congratulations. Secondly, don’t think that means anything in my class.” I get a bit of a rise out of my students at that statement, they mutter to each other nervously. My lecturers were brutal, so I will be brutal too. It made me into what I am today and I hope to be able to shape them into powerhouses of their own. I insert my second slide into the projector. It displays a list of topics that will be covered this year.
“This class will be very hard. We will discuss concepts and ideas that are way beyond the scope of what most of your other professors will be talking about. I’m not just talking in terms of chemistry, I’m talking physics and magic theory as well. There will be no textbooks. You’re welcome.” The joke falls completely flat, they’re scared shitless. I cringe again.
Fuck’s sake Florence.
On and on I drone about the various topics and projects that will be taught/done during their time on my course. It’s all really boring to be honest. So is home life.
Blah blah quantum mechanics blah blah organic synthesis blah blah catalysis and inorganic chemistry blahhhhhh.
I’m so alone.
I fucking hate it.
I really wish Chrys was here.
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.
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My name is Cadance and I am currently trying not to strangle the pony sitting across the table from me.
I really don’t like her, which is fine because she also doesn’t like me very much. I can practically taste the hate radiating from her. It’s always been like this with us.
“Why did you ask to meet me?” I bluntly spit. Probably should have worded that with a lighter tone, I am a princess after all. Chrysalis writhes a bit in her seat. I can tell she’s deciding between spitting vitriol at me or answering my question in earnest.
“Isn’t it obvious? I want to visit my friend in the Crystal Empire.” She languidly replies to me, trying to play it cool. I see right past her, nothing escapes my emosensing, she's anxious. I narrow my eyes, trying to pick apart whatever scheme that could be cooking in her head.
I really disagreed with Twilight when she told me that she wanted to give reforming Chrysalis a shot. I said that there was no possible way that anypony in their right mind would want to be friends with her. She is crass. She is rude. She is a megalomaniac of the highest order. She is the very definition of irredeemable.
“You have friends?” I shoot to wound, raising an angry eyebrow at her stupid face. Ah there she is, putting on her mask of stoicism as her plans crumble against my iron will. Stupid bugface and her stupid evilness! I will not be pushed around by this-
Why the buck am I feeling sadness?
She’s radiating it. It’s suffocating.
My brow immediately tightens, frustration growing. She’s just sad because she can’t enact her stupid evil plans. I lock eyes with the evil creature. That bucking buck! She dares to ask me for favors after what she did? To me?! TO MY DEAR SHINING?! There is definitely NOT any kind of friend-missing sa-
Oh.
No, there is no friend-missing sadness.
It’s a different kind. A powerful, raw sadness.
Holy shit.
.
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.
.
My name is Chrysalis and I am really nervous right now.
My request was approved after an incredibly terse and pointed negotiation with Cadance.
I think she knows.
The train rattles, shaking the chains that I currently have strapped to each of my legs. I’ve got a magic suppression ring on too. Across from me sit two guards who I don’t think have blinked this entire journey. Outside the carriage stand the most elite guard force between Equestria and the Crystal Empire.
I’ll be there soon, the Crystal Empire. The land of my nemeses.
But also the land of my best and only friend.
Before her I was alone. No hive, no future. Until she fell out of the sky and into my life. She changed it forever.
Before I would sit in my cell while that insipid princess of friendship Twilight Sparkle would come and lecture me about the values of friendship and how I was ‘redeemable’. Truly rancid.
And then she came and made my life so much better.
She wouldn’t run. She didn’t hate me because of who I was. She made me feel wanted again. She made me see that I could change. That I could be better.
After her we were miserable together. That made all the difference. Suddenly I saw a future explode before me, of happiness and change. In my dreams, we would run far away from every creature on this cold and uncaring land. We lived in a cottage.
I do not hate her for leaving me. I understand why she did it and I could never hate her anyway. Not after all the time we’ve spent together shooting the breeze while life passed us by. Not after all the hope she gave me.
She is a genius, so incredibly smart, so talented. She told me all about the fantastic and awe inspiring science of her world. How they conquered all with the power of their minds. She would come visit me in the dungeons after working in the lab. She showed me what she was working on. A supercatalyst that could store practically infinite magical energy.
All that came from her mind! She had only been studying magic for five months and she had created something that was the wet dream of every archmage across Equus.
She told me on her planet there were many disasters. Disasters brought on by themselves when they burned too many ‘thousand year old liquid dead bodies’. She was working on something that would have helped. An… electrocatalyst? I think…
I really missed it when she’d talk to me about her work.
Her smile.
The little hints of blue in her brown eyes.
Her scent…
But I wouldn’t have to miss it soon.
I’m sure I’ll tell her this time.
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My name is Shining Armour and I’m having a really weird day.
So, Chrysalis. The changeling who almost toppled Equestria, put me under a mind control spell, kidnapped my wife, and almost killed my sister. She’s here and she’s hanging out with the new lecturer my sister recommended for the Polytechnic. The changeling and the hairless ape. You can't make this up. They’re hanging out in a little cafe on 4th and 11th. We picked it because it had great sightlines directly into the shop. No chance of escape.
Flurry is under lockdown, so is my wife. I’m not taking any chances. I’ve called the reserves into active duty and have every archmage I could wrangle casting changeling disguise detection spells on every block.
I’m absolutely flabbergasted that my wife would even entertain the idea of letting that hole filled bug anywhere near us again. When she told me that night I literally laughed out loud, thinking she was telling some elaborate joke.
She was not joking.
Chrysalis has to be plotting something, right? I mean there is absolutely NO way that she’d come all the way here to not enact some perverse revenge. I narrow my eyes from my perch in the opposite building, screwing the binoculars closer to my eyes. Soundbug spells are relaying their conversation directly to me.
They’re having a blast! Talking shit, drinking coffee, generally having a great time.
I’ve never heard Chrysalis laugh like that before.
I am reminded of what my wife told me, right after I lost my mind at her for approving Chrysalis’ request.
There’s no possible way that can be true, right?
But she looks so happy.
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My name is Chrysalis and I am a bucking coward.
I couldn’t do it.
I was too afraid to lose her.
What is wrong with me?
Next time. I’ll tell her next time. Six months of good behavior earned me this visit, surely I’ll get another one soon.
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Two months later…
My name is Twilight Sparkle and I am currently looking at mathematical perfection.
Dr. Florence Lim has bucking done it again. She is the genius of our generation. I trace my eyes from the first postulation, gently working through the algebra in my head. Her math is hard to follow, that's because it’s so new.
She starts simple. Schrödinger’s equation. She taught me that one. Quantum mechanics, so beautiful. Poetry in motion.
She’s quantized magic.
I trace the beautiful integral she had laid out. Limits zero and two pi. I had never thought that magic could behave like a harmonic oscillator until reading the math she put out. It all made sense. There was a singular moment of magic, a building block that exists no matter how cold it got or how little matter there was in the room.
With this, we could revolutionize spectroscopy! We could build that ‘nuclear magnetic resonance’ machine that she always banged on about, using magic to replace the magnets required for it to work. Machines of her world were now possible using magic because she had figured out what the base Magical Harmonic Frequency was now. We can build plates that either store two times the base frequency or one, corresponding to a zero or one.
Those computers she had talked about! They were possible now without us having to accelerate and develop our material technology for ages and ages. Or figure out exactly how to store electricity properly.
I can’t contain my excitement, I turn to her shouting: “You’re a bucking genius, Florence! You did it! This is so…”
She is hollow.
She looks like she’s about to burst into tears.
“Keep looking, Twilight.” She whispers to me, her voice is hoarse and cold. I draw my eyes back to the blackboard, confused at what she meant.
“I’m not sure what you want me to look for? Everything seems all good. I mean barring material science, we are pretty much good to go for everything. All of this work is very practical, you literally proved it without using any approximations. And development will be easy with-”
“Fourier transform the signal, Twilight!” She shouts, cutting me off entirely. I turn to rebuke her before it hits me.
Fourier transform. Waveform into signals.
We can scan now. And magic could travel faster than light.
That meant we could find her home, given enough of a magical power output.
We could calculate how far it was depending on the magical decay constant. Linear teleportation spell and she's right back where she came from.
Magic power wasn't an issue. Au/ZIF-6-C would take care of that. Another stroke of genius from Dr. Florence Lim.
I am really confused. This is a good thing, right? She had wanted to return home for so long and now she could.
Why does she look so sad?
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My name is Florence and I’m currently making my way down Canterlot dungeon.
My palms are really sweaty. Never been this sweaty before. Not even for any of my vivas.
I’m making my way over to Chrysalis’ room. I just had to see her one last time before…
It’s all too soon! Why did I have to work it out? Why couldn’t I just be happy about the way things were. Why did I have to keep pushing for an answer, a way to get out. Ignorance certainly is bliss. The wise are all fools.
The way she laughs, the way she smells, the way she told me I wasn’t an ugly monster ape that should crawl back to whatever hole she came from.
They keep replaying in my mind.
I reach her door, the guard deftly unlocks the multitude of locks on the cell door. She swings it open with a mighty shove, startling Chrys as it smashes against the wall with a boom. Her eyes dart to the door, panicked and afraid, then back to me. They soften instantly as she lets out a massive smile.
Oh god I can’t bear to look.
I force the strongest smile I can back at her. I step in the cell, the guard closes it behind me with a loud slam.
“Hey! I didn’t expect to see you here. You miss me that much, slag?” Chrys ribs, shooting one of her classic smug glances my way. Her cute little ears are so cute when they’re vibrating like that. Her eyes are also so beautiful.
Jesus, is it normal to think she looks pretty? Like in that way?
Despite my best efforts, I can only offer a weak chuckle. The cute ears droop not so cutely toward her skull. I take a seat next to her. She looks really nervous. We stare off into space for a little bit.
“Are you okay?” Chrys asks me. God I can’t reply.
God when the light catches her mane in that way it looks so majestic.
She looks so unbelievably dejected. The guilt makes me blurt it out.
“I found a way.”
She turns to me curiously.
“Home. I can go back. I solved it.”
Dead silence.
Broken by a strained voice.
“That’s great...”
I can't bear to look.
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My name is Chrysalis and today, I have been broken.
I thought she was coming here to see me. That she missed me and she wanted to talk to me or hang out with me. We’d have a grand old time and then I’d save up enough brownie points with Twilight Sparkle to gander a visit to her.
How naive.
I can't meet her eyes. She can't meet mine either. I can feel the tears starting to form.
But I won't cry. Not in front of her.
She’s going, isn’t she? Why wouldn’t she?
She left me for the Crystal Empire.
I hear her stand up. Leaving me, going forever.
Even though...
But it’s my fault, I should have said. That time I visited her I should have had the bravery to say it. Florence, I love you, I would like to spend the rest of my life with you. Florence you are wonderful, you make my boring life beautiful. Florence you give me life, you give me a reason to keep living.
No, don’t cry! She probably never saw you that way anyway you monster. You ugly shit. You bucking stain. Go back to that hole, you worthless, good for nothing, useless, disgusting, filthy animal! My vision turns greyer and greyer.
She could never love me! How could she?
“Chrys, before I go I gotta tell you something. I’ve got nothing to lose now anyway.” Florence says. I struggle to meet her gaze. I try to smile. She’s about to tell me how she never really cared about me. She’s about to tell me that I was just a convenient acquaintanceship.
“Chrys. I think I love you.”
She loves me?
The color returns. I stare at her in shock as she nervously shuffles.
“I know you probably don’t feel the same way but I think you’re really pretty and if you don’t like me the same way then- MMMPH”
I pounce, uninhibited, smashing my lips against hers desperately. She falls backward in shock. I try to light my horn to break the fall but the inhibitor sparks and mutes the spell. We tumble downward. I prepare to break the kiss.
I can’t.
She’s kissing me back. Her arms wrap around my barrel as she presses her body against mine. I can feel her heartbeat pulsing in her chest. I count each beat preciously.
She loves me.
And I love her.
Author's Note
Halor. Wrote this on a whim because it would noT get out of my HEAD 
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Hope you enjoyed. This is romance practice so feedback would be greatly appreciated.
Sorry if I'm a bit of a paragraph abuser 
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THANKS FOR READING MY INCOHERENT WORDS.
