The Diary of Marble Pie

Dear Diary,

I feel like I’m stuck in a never-ending loop of misery. Every day is the same. I wake up with a heavy heart, go through the motions, and end the day feeling just as empty as I did before. I don’t know how to break free from this cycle. I don’t know if I ever will.

Today was no different. I tried to keep busy, tried to distract myself from the pain. But it’s always there, lurking in the background, a constant reminder of what I’ve lost. Or maybe it’s not about losing something, but rather never having it in the first place.

I saw Big Mac today. He came by the farm to drop off some supplies. He smiled at me, that kind, warm smile that used to make my heart flutter. But now, it just feels like a knife twisting in my chest. He has no idea how much I’m hurting, how much his presence alone causes me pain.

I tried to be polite, to smile back, but I don’t think I succeeded. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, and I had to look away before they spilled over. I don’t want him to see me like this. I don’t want him to know how much he’s broken me.

After he left, I went back to my room and cried. I cried for the love that I’ll never have, for the happiness that will never be mine. I cried for the poor gray pony who will always be alone, who will never be seen.

I know it’s pathetic. I know I should be stronger than this. But I can’t help it. I can’t stop the tears from falling, can’t stop the pain from tearing me apart. It’s like a storm raging inside me, and I don’t know how to calm it.

I thought about talking to Maud, but what would I say? How could I put all this pain into words? She’s the only one who understands me, but even she can’t take this hurt away. No one can. This is something I have to face on my own, no matter how much it hurts.

I don’t know how to move on from this. I don’t know how to let go of these feelings, how to stop loving someone who will never love me back. But I have to try. For my own sake. For my own sanity.

Maybe one day, I’ll find a way to be happy again. Maybe one day, I’ll find a way to let go of this pain. But for now, all I can do is take it one day at a time. One step at a time.

Thank you for listening, Diary.

Goodnight.

Marble Pie