The Diary of Marble Pie

Dear Everypony,

By the time you read this, I will be gone. I don’t know what awaits me or if there is even life after death, but I can’t stay here anymore. I can’t keep living in this darkness, this misery. I need to find a way out, to find some kind of peace. I’m sorry for leaving like this, but it’s the only thing I could do.

I’ve been feeling this way for a long time. It’s like there’s been a weight on my chest, crushing me, making it hard to even exist. Every day is a struggle, a battle just to keep going and push on. I’m so tired, so incredibly and indescribably tired. I feel like I’m drowning, like I’m trapped in this endless nightmare with no way out.

I know you’ve tried to help, but nothing seems to work. Even when everyone endeavors to be there for me, I feel so alone, so completely alone. I can’t talk to you about how I’m feeling because I don’t want to be a burden. I don’t want to drag you down with my sadness, my pain. So I keep it all inside, and it’s tearing me apart.

Maud, I envy you so much. You have Mudbriar, you have someone who loves you unconditionally. You’re so steady, so strong. I wish I could be like you, but I can’t. I feel like I’m broken, like there’s something wrong with me that can’t be fixed. Your happiness only highlights my own misery, my own loneliness. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the sister you deserve.

Pinkie, you’re so full of life, so vibrant and loved by everyone. You have friends, a purpose. Everypony loves you. You’re everything I’ll never be. I’m just a shadow, a whisper, truly a nothing. I try to be happy for you, but it’s so hard. Your happiness only makes my own emptiness more unbearable. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the sister you deserve.

Limestone, just know you will always be dear to me and I hope you don’t keep a grudge against the memory of me. I only did what I had to do.

Mom, Dad, I know you love me, but I can’t keep living like this. I feel like a burden, a waste of space. I’m not the daughter you wanted, the daughter you deserve. I’m sorry I couldn’t be more, that I couldn’t make you proud. I’m sorry for everything.

I haven’t been taking care of myself. I haven’t been eating, I haven’t been sleeping. I can’t remember the last time I felt any kind of joy, any kind of hope. My mane is a mess, my coat is filthy. I look in the mirror and I see a stranger, a gray ghost. I hate what I see. I hate myself.

I feel like I’m disappearing, like I’m rotting and fading away bit by bit. I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up. I don’t know how to keep going. For these reasons, I have made my decision. After all, how can death be much worse when everything in life feels so hopeless, so pointless.

I need to find a way out, to find some kind of peace. I only see one option. I can’t keep living in this darkness, this despair. I’m sorry for leaving like this, but it’s the only thing I can do. Please don’t blame yourselves. This isn’t your fault. It’s just something I have to do.

I love you all, even if I couldn’t show it. I’m sorry for everything. I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me.

Goodbye and farewell.

Marble Pie