Chapters An inky warm weight pressed into her side and her front and back and lower and upper. There was no up or down here, no future or past, just infinite time and time and time! She drank it in, bathed in it. She felt that sweet relaxation.
This is bliss.
And bliss forever more. She could forget the day ahead, it wouldn’t come for her here. No more princessly duties awaited her here.
Princess? Who, me?
Massive pillars of ruffled feathers and outstretched limbs laid across the sea of a quilted chamber. The weight around her was in her, it stretched her out and out! Thinking thoughts of herself had led her here. She tasted the vigor of the years before her, those times she worked for nothing.
Why was I there?
She looked through a doorway, her heavy eyes gloomily stared at the pile of unwashed clothes that was her life. Her computer begged for attention, but so did her boyfriend. She recoiled from his spikey command.
I wish I wasn’t here. My mind has been to better places than I’ve ever set foot in. I don’t want to go back there.
A creeping cackling smile ripped her heart open to the warmth again. There wasn’t anything here, she could always return to the void of nothingness.
But there is something out there! It calls me to serve and live and love. I want to see Celestia’s dawn!
A wave traveled up and down her spine, her head was up, her hooves were down, there was a direction to things.
She was laying down on her back. Her heart banged against the confines of her chest.
She shot up. She was in bed.
The loft bedroom was totally dark but for the night sky piercing through the nearby window. The moon’s rays coolly illuminated the star patterned sheet that covered her. The hot air below her sheets crashed into the cold air that had swallowed her face. Her breaths were shallow and quick. Her sound was drowned out by the rustling of the Golden Oak’s leaves just outside.
Her whole body was shaking to pieces, her muscles threatened to rip themselves free from her bones. Her right hoof crept into her vision as she brought it up to her muzzle.
She was real. It was real. She could feel everything.
Who am I?
The question tumbled in and down and up and through her. Her whole body pondered it. There were two yesterdays, two days before yesterday, two days before the day before yesterday. She had two names, she lived in two houses, she had two jobs.
She had one body now—right now. She was in just one bed. She felt no fingers, no toes. Her shark plushie did not lay against her. She looked to her left and saw only the empty expanse of the room below her loft. Her study desk sat in darkness, as it should. The twisting rounded stairs which led down to the foyer or up to her loft was just as it always was. This wasn’t her room, though she knew distinctly that it was.
She had moved to Ponyville, became fast friends with five others, the elements of harmony. They had defeated Nightmare Moon, Discord, Queen Chrysalis. She had become a princess. Her name was Twilight
She had moved to Texas to live with her lover, away from all of her family, never seeing them again. She had gone to bed in her cramped loft last night. She hated her fry-cook job. Her name was Mary.
The creaking wood threatened to crash into her mind. Her boat on the sea of memories was filled with an alarming amount of water from the rising storm. She leaned back and forward to counteract the tilting of her mind’s ship. Her forehooves wrapped around her torso. She felt her chest spasm and heard herself breathily chuckling.
She was Twilight now. She had always been Twilight.
Her boat rocked against the tides, it threatened to topple into the water again and again, but it never did. Somehow she stayed upright in that storm. Her wings flapped, and her ship threw itself to the side, she had wings now and their sensation was going to kill her. Twilight forced her wings folded with a grunt. She frowned so hard her face hurt.
For a brief moment she sat upright, unmoving. The tides threatened to come in again, her face scrunched up as she pulled her hooves tighter against herself. Her dry throat let out a moan, then she cried. She buried her face down, her whole body curled into a ball sat against the headrest. Her chest belched out breathy moans.
Memories flooded through her, filling her mind with a viscous warm mucus of hate and grief.
Mary had gone to bed night after night wishing she could just be reborn again, wishing she could wake up in a new body. She’d had that wish fulfilled somewhat before. She always wanted to be a girl, and in every way those around her who met her saw her as one now. But, life was nothing like the colorful cartoons she grew up with.
Her parents didn’t talk to her much anymore. When she’d told them she was engaged, they told her they wouldn’t come to the wedding. That’s just how things were. Her parents she had loved her whole life said ‘fuck you’.
No more. She was Twilight now.
Her lungs burned as she let out a long moan of sadness. She fell forward, banging her hooves against the sheets. The warm gunk of her old life that had soaked within her now poured out through her tears. The only thing she could hear was the sound of her own wailing. Her body was drained, and she went limp, her face thoroughly buried into her bed. Her cries died down somewhat.
She felt a claw carefully press into her hoof. It was the familiar careful touch of Spike. She must have awakened him. Her muscles ached as she dragged herself closer to Spike’s caressing. He hugged her. Her body shook, and she turned her head to face him. His appearance was warped through her teary eyed sight, but she knew he was worried for her. Twilight could barely remember the last time she was like this, and so she couldn’t remember the last time Spike had to see her through this kind of pain.
Still, she’d never seen him, at least not in person. Her imagination raced at the idea of getting to meet him again. His hold on her tightened, she could feel his heart beat against her. Her heart fell.
Does he really know me, am I not the same? Will he hate me?
Her face painfully grew a frown again, as new tears fell. She ripped herself away from his touch, her weak muscles straining to give might to the motion. She had to get away to keep him safe from her.
Spike said something to her, but she didn’t hear it.
“I’m sorry,” she cried out in a long moan.
“What are you sorry about?” said Spike.
“I’m not me anymore!” Twilight roared into a new bout of wailing.
With shaky limbs she pushed herself away from Spike. Further, further away.
I don’t want to hurt him. I’ve reveled in war. I’ve endorsed countless suffering.
I’m nothing like the ponies I grew up alongside! Not anymore.
She pulled herself fully under her covers. Her breathing became more ragged, as her well of tears ran dry. She laid there and occasionally twitched.
Her bubble submarine dived deeper and deeper away from the land of cheery and loving friends. The darkness overtook her, and she let it in, she kept it in to keep those outside safe. Some force pressed against the walls of sheets that surrounded her, and she pulled them in tighter. Her chest stopped moving. She laid completely still, unbreathing, for a long moment.
“Twilight?” said Spike, his question a reflexive response to his growing worry.
Her lungs filled with sand, her throat felt like it had walked a hundred miles. She allowed herself a shallow breath, as quiet as a mouse.
Don’t move and he’ll go away.
Spike took his claw away from where Twilight was and instead clutched them close to his chest. His eyes stared deeply at the unmoving bulge in the bedsheets. He thought about what could have possibly happened to make Twilight so upset. He hadn’t seen her like this in a long while, and now she’d sequestered herself away from him completely. His heart pounded deeply. What else could he do if not hold her?
Spike tore his gaze away from Twilight, and out the window. Luna’s moon was still some ways away from setting. He looked over to his basket-bed. His eyebrow twitched from the pang of a suddenly growing headache. With a deep breath, he turned away, and made his way down to the kitchen. Perhaps, he hoped, an early breakfast would be good for her.
Twilight simply laid in her bed, and continued to drown in anguish.
***
What if I’m not good enough anymore?
The bottom of the ocean came closer, she was close enough to touch it.
I’ll never have friends anymore. How could I relate to anypony with half of a human mind?
It pressed into her and through her and she was buried by it.
I don’t want to lose my friends. I want to meet them anew, I want them to help me.
A strain she didn’t know was there dissipated, as it passed her by.
I want to live here peacefully.
She went down and it passed her, the veil was above her, and a new sea below, and so further down she went.
Could I learn to live again? Could I ever fill Twilight’s place?
The waters grew brighter, she was coming out of the sea, new air was just above!
Can I call myself Twilight?
She lifted a hoof up, pushing the blanket away to reveal the world to her. She looked out the window to see the coming sun’s rays cast long blankets of warmth which blended against the waning night sky. She was in her bed in her library home in Ponyville. She pressed a hoof against her chest as she inspected her body.
“It’s still hard to believe this is real.” The room’s overbearing silence took over as soon as she finished speaking.
Her sight was drawn to the room below her loft. Her eyes wandered across the scene with newfound appreciation for the clean and curvy naturalistic design of a home made from the inside of a tree. It felt like she’d been dropped into a fantasy story. She realized, in really all regards, she had been—or at least half of her had been.
She felt her heartbeat quicken as she thought about that distinction between her two halves. She was two in one now, but not like the depictions in so much media, instead it was as if she was truly one being who’d lived two lives. There was no second thought stream. She felt like there should be someone else, that she should be able to talk to Mary or Twilight as another being in the same room.
She sat and stared into the dark room awaiting something to speak to her. The rustle of leaves outside her window was all that greeted her. Twilight twitched as the smell of pancakes slid into her nostrils. Her gaze fell to the stairway which curved around down a tunnel leading to the first floor. Spike was probably making breakfast. At the thought of food entering her gullet she recoiled, her face scrunching. The strain to keep herself sat up suddenly doubled. The bed begged that she stay put, so she did. She pondered on the taste of Spike’s pancakes, imagining the sugary syrup coating her tongue. She smiled at the idea, a tired and small smile, but a smile nonetheless.
She took in a deep breath and closed her eyes. She felt the strain of her chest as her lungs filled with the cool night’s air. Slowly she exhaled, and a tinge of relief pushed into her. She took a couple more deep breaths, slowly managing to somewhat pull herself out of her saddened stupor. She relaxed her muscles as her head fell further back into her pillow.
“This is Equestria for goodness sake. I have to believe things will get better. I know my friends, both from my time with them and from the show. I have to believe that they’ll all be there for me,” Twilight said, staring at the ceiling.
She imagined her collection of friends before her all wearing smiles of acceptance, maybe a few were reluctant smirks though—she wasn’t sure. She imagined Pinkie before her, her hooves holding on to her own as they stared straight forward to each other. A soft and loving grin—very unlike Pinkie—plastered the face before her. Pinkie's eyelids were half-shut. Her eyes were the bright blue of a cloudless midday sky. Twilight’s increasingly powerful heartbeat broke open the scene before her. She looked down towards her form hidden beneath her sheets as she watched her chest rise and fall heavily.
She knew from which life these thoughts came from. Twilight’s mind was flooded again with distress, she froze staring ahead with wide eyes.
I want to be Twilight. Do these thoughts make me not her? It definitely makes me different from how I was before. Is that good? Is that bad? What am I anymore? It all feels so real though, it’s all my thoughts. Can I really just push aside a part of myself as not the real me?
She waited for answers, or perhaps more worries, to come, but her mental tirade suddenly ended. She focused on the empty noise of her brain. There was still nothing. A branch creaked outside. Still no more coherent thoughts came. All was silent. Slowly her breathing came up to a normal pace again. Maybe, she thought, this was a sign it was all going to be okay.
I need to categorize this.
The fact it had taken her so long to reach this conclusion again brought forth the concern about just how much of old Twilight was lost. Her eyes twitched. The need to categorize had punctured her standing peace, and her body filled with a hot vigor. Her muscles gained strength from nowhere. She threw off her covers and leaped out of bed.
She stood on all four hooves. She felt hunched over, but she knew she wasn’t. She pushed her forehooves off the ground. Her stomach lurched, her body contorted. She stopped herself from falling backwards as she stood on just her hindlegs. She felt stretched out, but she knew she shouldn’t be. The weight of her body balancing on her hind legs was as if she had put a loaded saddlebag on just her lower back.
Twilight fell forward onto all fours again. The feeling of being hunched over returned. She took that feeling and slammed it firmly into the wall of her mind, away from her focus. She spun around to go somewhere, anywhere. She thought about writing something down. With an experienced understanding of her body, she trotted her way down from her loft. She made a mental note on how easy it was to actually walk around still. Twilight’s weight shifted uncomfortably close to tripping over. Twilight stopped her movements.
Scratch that, I still have to focus on walking.
Twilight continued her walk at a slower pace. She sharply rounded the corner at the bottom of the stairs and was soon before her study desk. Right as her eyes leered at the blown-out candle it was suddenly alight from her magic. Her face contorted into a grossly gruff painting of anger. Her stare shot down to the drawers and out they opened, their contents of paper and ink and quill flying out to arrange themselves neatly before her. How useful magic could be. She snorted as she frowned at the ready materials.
A quill touched into the inkwell with a tap tap tap, and was just as suddenly floating above a sheet of parchment. Twilight’s frown slowly twisted into a broken mess of confusion. The quill did not move. She stood staring into that empty page for a while. Not a word came across her mind.
With a heavy breath she loosened the tension in her muscles and slowly lowered her face down onto her desk. She slumped her body down onto her haunch. Her magic dissipated and the quill dropped onto the paper.
“What the fuck do I write?” Her outburst caused her hair to stand on end.
Her hooves slowly traveled up to reassuringly press into her chest. She imagined old Twilight standing over her, looking at her as a mother looks disappointed at her child for coming home with a ‘D’ in Spanish.
“Yeah, I’ll curse less,” she dejectedly affirmed. Her eyes scrunched as she forced herself to not roll her eyes at it all.
Twilight’s face went blank.
“Yeah…Yeah,” she played with the feeling of the word on her tongue.
The sounds coming out of her mouth gave her a chuckle.
“Speaking, speech, spoken, spoke, spike, speep,” she gave a chuckle at that last word.
Twilight’s body shuddered with a giggle as she toyed with her words.
“Heh, I’m Twilight Sparkle. Dear Princess Celestia.” She imitated old Twilight’s occasionally formal tone surprisingly well.
Twilight rose up straight. A smile spread across her muzzle and her eyes earnestly joined in for the showing of good fun, squinting in that way a real smile makes them. Her brow suddenly furrowed in a display of playful determination. She thumped a hoof against her chest and her face tensed as she pushed her larynx down as far as she could.
“Ah. Bah. Test, testing,” she said in a surprisingly good impersonation of a stallion’s voice.
She gasped for air, her body decompressing suddenly. She giggled and giggled, returning to her normal voice.
“Okay, okay. That was actually really scratchy and bad, but that’s a fun party trick I have now.” She rolled her eyes.
“But, I still like my normal voice a lot more. It’s just so…Twilight,” she affirmed with a nod.
Her tail flicked, not wagged, flicked. The motion caught her full attention as her eyes turned back to her rear. The expressive tail was something that she both knew about and did not expect. More importantly, she knew what it was her body was reacting so positively to and what it was that a tail flicking expressed.
“Gosh, I kind of like my voice a little too much.” Twilight chuckled nervously.
Her neck craned over to the parchment as she quickly planted herself upright on all four hooves. The quill came under her magic and wrote out ‘I like my voice’ as a bullet point. Twilight grinned at the addition. Endorphins rushed to congratulate her work. Progress—in her mind—had been made. Her brain scrambled to create addition after addition to the list, sure to write down whatever observations came to mind. This gave such insightful notes as: ‘I have one mind’ and ‘I’m a mare, and a girl’.
The smile that graced her face wore away like a stone in a stream, as she stared at one bullet point in particular. The ink still fresh on the page read ‘I’m Twilight’. She closed her eyes, but the image stained itself into her mind. She shook her head, and took in a deep breath.
“Am I really Twilight? It’s not hard for me to tell that both sides of myself want to be her, but can I really claim to be?”
She thought of her names, of her parents. Twilight Velvet and Night Light, John and Sarah. She’d changed her name before, she knew many who did and for so many reasons. When she first started going by Mary it was like a hole had been filled in her heart, or like she was really known by others for the first time. She felt that same missing piece in her name.
Her face exploded into excitement as a revelation overtook her thoughts.
“My middle name! My parents never gave me a middle name!”
With a quick few strokes of the pen, she righted what was wrong. The note now read ‘I’m Twilight Mary Sparkle’. It was common for some ponies to not have middle names, but some did and now she did too.
The hole is filled.
A warm tingling electricity spread out from her chest as she read over the note again and again. The name pressed into her consciousness, twisting and burrowing deep into her psyche. Twilight felt its journey through her, as it spread its tendrils into every part of her. She allowed the name to subsume her with a smile. As it nestled and writhed in her thoughts, her grin only grew. Her forehooves tapped against the wood floor excitedly. In short, it felt really good, like a good cold beer with honeyed bread.
There are so many topics uncovered, so much I still don’t understand, but this is my name!
Twilight’s name shielded her, it gilded her in fine clothes, and gave a pep to her step. Her chin raised high, as she looked over to the stairway which led down to where that delicious smell of pancakes still emanated.
Wait, fine clothes?
Twilight twisted her head back to view her behind. The obvious was confirmed, she indeed was nude. The tickling notion of nudity crawled its way slowly down her barrel, licking along her underside until it reached her rear. Her tail flicked. Her marehood screamed out suddenly for attention. The two mounds near her crotch found their nipples hardening.
And of course ponies have crotch-tits.
A shiver traveled up her body ending with a shake of her head. Twilight firmly grasped onto these lewd feelings and shoved them into a drawer. She forced her eyes forward, and her tail down to cover her, but she couldn’t help but hold a nervous smile as she walked down to meet Spike anew.
Just, focus on your memories as Twilight and don’t freak out over this…please.
She took a deep breath.
Besides, Spike’s like my little brother. This’ll go very well.
***
Spike held the plate of warm pancakes. His eyes fixated on the thing. The gradient of heat between the still cold plate and its contents was like a vast expanse that stretched from his thumb atop the plate and his pinkie claw below it. He couldn’t help but to imagine Twilight again as she was this morning…hiding. Their distance from each other then felt equally as wide. Spike brought his vision back to what was in front of him now, these pancakes. He hoped that the sugary meal would do good for Twilight’s nerves.
Spike’s eyes turned to the foyer, just beyond the small archway connecting it to the kitchen. His view in the kitchen was aided by a single lit candle, but that warm glow did not reach far enough to illuminate the still cold main floor of the library. Celestia’s sun was still not close enough to provide any kind of light through the windows high up near the ceiling. A chill ran down Spike’s spine. He’d kept as much of the library in the dark as he could in an attempt to not disturb Twilight if she did manage to rest her eyes once more. However, now he was going to wake her anyway. Spike turned his attention to the electrical light switch near the front door.
As Spike left the kitchen, his meaningful strides came to a stop as he heard Twilight walking down the stairs. His head swerved over to see her, and was surprised to see…a smile. He blinked a few times, attributing his perception to the still dark room. Unprepared, he realized a greeting was in order.
“Oh, hey Twilight. I, uh, I made you some pancakes.” His forceful smile oozed worry.
“Good morning Spike. And I know, I smelled it. I’m really excited for them.” Her face still held a soft smile.
Spike was rooted in place as Twilight came up to him. His smile faded and his brow furrowed as his eyes stared deeply into the mare’s expressive face. Her appearance was now barely more visible as she was close enough for the candle light in the kitchen to blanket one side of her.
“I’m sorry about this morning, actually I wanted to talk to you about it while we eat.” Twilight traveled right past him and into the kitchen.
A hint of worry was on the tip of her muzzle. Spike stayed put, only his head swiveled to track her as she passed. Twilight slowed, her head turning to face Spike.
“Come on, Spike,” said Twilight with a gesture towards the table.
The light bulb in the kitchen flooded the room in searing fluorescent white as Twilight flicked the switch in her magic. Spike made his way to one of the kitchen chairs at a careful pace. Twilight took a seat with the grasp of her magic, as Spike placed the plate he was carrying onto the table. The wooden chair pressed into his scales as he sat on it, the usually rustic charm was absent this morning, replaced by the cold embrace of dead wood.
Spike could see every facet of Twilight’s emotions now in clinical detail as she sat before him. Twilight shuffled in her seat, and Spike saw her veneer drop for a moment, her muzzle scrunching and her brow furrowing in worry and not simply discomfort. Her image did not truly recover even as she forced the smile to return, it became tainted by that show of fear.
“Thank you so much for this meal, Spike,” said Twilight as she took a fork in her magic.
Twilight’s fork stopped just as it was about to pierce into the top pancake on her plate. One of her eyes twitched and her smile was gone again in an instant. She closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath.
I guess I’m still doing this.
Twilight shuffled in her seat as she brought her forehooves to press together before her. She bowed her head and closed her eyes. Spike watched this display with nervous interest. His brow only raised more when he heard Twilight mumbling something quietly. Even in the near total silence of that kitchen, he couldn’t make out a single word. Before Spike could formulate a question, he jolted as Twilight suddenly spoke one word loud enough to hear.
“Amen.”
Twilight’s head came back up as she huffed and rolled her eyes, before quickly returning to how she was just before that strange display. She took the fork again in her magic and shoved a pancake into her muzzle.
He watched as Twilight enjoyed the food. Spike let out a sigh he didn’t know he was holding in.
“So, uh, you said you wanted to talk about this morning?” Spike gulped.
Twilight’s eyes widened, and she strained to quickly swallow the food filling her mouth. Her smile was cold. She looked straight into Spike’s eyes.
“Yes. I don’t know how else to say it, but…” Her eyes flicked away from him, and she nervously licked her lips.
“When I woke up, it was like I suddenly had the memories of another life.” She gasped for air.
“It’s like I had the most detailed dream of a whole twenty five years of living.” Her eyes only grew wider as her gaze returned to Spike’s eyes.
“But, it’s also like I woke up suddenly having the memories of Twilight and being in her body instead of mine.” Twilight fidgeted in her chair. An ear of hers flicked. Spike noticed her growing frown as she continued with her voice much softer and deeper than before.
“Spike…I, I’m not the same Twilight from yesterday. Trust me, I wish I was, but I’m not.”
Spike hadn’t taken a breath since she began. His heart was pounding. A meek and shaky smile slowly grew on Twilight’s muzzle. Her eyes darted around, searching for the right words.
“I feel like I’m meeting you again for the first time, even though I still remember all of our time together.”
Spike’s heart was like a candle just before it went out.
“So, hi, my name is Twilight Mary Sparkle.”
Her soft smile was completely genuine, every ounce of fear and hope within her poured openly from it.
Spike was frozen in place, staring into what felt like a monster. His imagination ran wild in fear and hope. He wanted her to say she was joking, that everything wasn’t like some weird delusional nightmare. He felt the ridges of the wooden chair pressing into him. It wasn’t a dream. His eyes darted around studying her body, her face. He thought back to a memory of Twilight laying beside him, the warmth of the blanket and the young filly beside him made him feel so safe. He remembered her reading him a story from a book kept open and up as it rested on a mound of other books. The only light in that cool room came from a single candle. He remembered looking into her face and watched with awe how her mouth—with a smile—moved to form the words of the story. His vision returned to the present and he thought of the inside of Twilight’s mind, as if as he stared her down he could view it with x-ray vision. A swirling mass of tentacles wrapped itself around one side of her mind. She had been infected by something, something other than his big sister.
He felt tears welling in his eyes. With a shake of his head, he jolted, moving his claws up to wipe his eyes clean. His chest felt like it was being squeezed. He fought the tears back and looked once more to the mare across him. Her smile was gone, replaced by a worried frown. She did not utter a sound. Spike’s mouth opened, and he licked his lips, feeling how dry they’d become. His throat was clenched like a vice. His lungs pressed air in and out with great difficulty. He took a long breath in.
“You’re serious aren’t you?” He thought it was a stupid question.
“Yes,” she replied.
He couldn’t fathom what to do, like somepony had just seriously asked him what the answer to dividing a number by zero was. There was no solution he could find, no words that conveyed what he felt. He stared down into the table, his mind elsewhere.
Twilight took slow deep breaths. Her lips stretched into a long line, as she carefully grabbed another pancake by her fork and took a small bite into it.
A pang of pain shot through Spike’s head. He brought a claw up to nurse his headache.
“Okay. So, you’re telling me that you’re…two ponies in one?” Spike guffawed when he finished.
“Who’s the other pony?!” His voice rose to almost a shout, as he continued.
“Is it Mary, why did you say your name is Twilight Mary Sparkle?”
“I mean, did you dream this, is it real? I don’t…” He stared up into Twilight’s eyes, as his tone quietened.
“I don’t understand.”
Twilight kept that same unsure expression.
“I’m pretty sure it wasn’t some dream. I…I don’t even know the full extent of what changed.” Her eyes drifted off, trying to access her memories.
“And it’s not another pony. I—and I know this is going to sound unbelievable but—I guess I merged with an alien. I don’t even know if the being I merged with is from the same universe, let alone from this planet.”
Spike suddenly felt much more sure this was some kind of ruse, but he trusted that expressive face too much to not lie to him. His claw clenched harder against his temple. He sighed.
“Okay…so what did you ‘merge’ with.” Spike tonally added scare-quotes around that word, ‘merge’.
Twilight gave a nervous smile, as she rolled her eyes.
“Well, I merged with a human named Mary. She…she actually knows about Twilight through fiction. You see, where she came from our exploits were like a fairy tale. Me, you, our friends.”
Twilight chuckled before adding, “and no, I’m sure she’s not the reason this happened. I really don’t know why.”
Twilight’s voice grew quiet again, as she fidgeted in place.
“I—Mary, I mean—actually really admired Twilight, and always wished she could be her. So, I guess she got her wish.”
Twilight’s frown deepened as she stared into Spike’s eyes. Spike, for his part, had difficulty keeping his gaze on Twilight. He forced his vision up to her eyes and became instantly fixated on them. He felt like he could see her trapped behind those eyes.
Twilight spoke, “I really truly want to be Twilight. I want to live here peacefully. I want to live with you here, and have fun with all my friends and be the best pony I can be.” Her eyes pleaded to him to listen.
“I hope you’ll accept that, accept how I’ve changed. I want your help to live as best as I can.”
Spike’s head bowed as he cupped his head in his claws, his elbows pressed into the table. There was no answer on what to do. Nothing came.
What would Twilight do?
He sighed deeply.
“Okay, yeah. I’ll do that, Twilight.”
Twilight’s face finally showed relief.
“Thank you.”
Spike looked up with a shake of his head and a tired smirk.
“Don’t mention it.”
Spike reached over, placing a stack of pancakes on another plate before him, and ate. Twilight joined in. The two ate together in silence for a long while, enjoying the fragile peace. Twilight smiled as she finished another pancake.
“Thank you again for these pancakes, they really are very nice,” Twilight said.
Spike spoke through the food still in his mouth, “Mhm, you’re welcome.”
Spike gulped down his food.
“By the way, we have some errands to run today, remember?” Spike’s eyes stayed on his plate as he spoke.
Twilight stopped herself from taking another bite. Her brow furrowed as she looked down at the table. She’d completely forgotten about today's errands. Her stomach recoiled at the idea of going out today.
“Actually Spike, I was wondering if you could take care of those for me today. I uh, well, as you could imagine, I’m still a little shaken up about this morning and I’m not sure if I’m ready to see anypony.”
“Sure thing,” Spike replied.
Twilight breathed a sigh of relief.
“Thank you.”
“Yeah, no problem.” Spike shoved another pancake down his throat.
***
Spike and Twilight had mostly been silent since their discussion that morning. Spike occasionally felt the urge to ask for clarification on some question about Twilight’s new situation now and then, and Twilight always answered to the best of her ability. No small talk beyond that was made. Twilight had contented herself with sitting at the kitchen table, her eyes always staring off into the distance at some unseen thing. Spike left the kitchen as soon as he was finished eating, and was gathering everything he needed for the day.
Twilight watched as Spike rounded the archway into the kitchen from the main room. He wore a bag which bore the heavy imprints of the load of books to be delivered inside it. A scroll with a checklist of errands drooped from his left claw. His face bore a look of simple determination.
“Alright Twilight, I’m gonna go do those errands. I’ll be back a little after noon,” he broke the silence.
Twilight’s eyes widened as she jumped down from her chair, and quickly brought Spike into a hug. He recoiled from her touch at first. Twilight’s grin turned sour as she tried to shake off the worry that came with that observation.
“Be safe, and have fun,” she said.
“Thanks,” he dryly responded.
Twilight waved him goodbye as he quickly made his exit out to Ponyville, the morning sun now blanketing the town in a warm glow. The door shut, and she was alone.
The air of the room felt like it was more still than just a moment ago. Twilight felt more warm than just a moment ago. Her eyes grew wet as they darted about the room. She felt trapped, looking around from book to book, knickknack to knickknack, she paced around the circular floor. Her speed varied wildly. She looked for something to save her from this growing pressure the room was exerting on her, like she was caught in a great vice.
“Okay…what do I do?” She repeated that question again and again.
She stopped in her tracks, her head whipped around to the stairs.
“My notes!”
She trotted her way up into her study, and yanked the night’s writings over to her in her magic. She quickly made her way back to the foyer. Plans formulated in her mind, a grand machination of interconnected ideas. She’d need a lot of writing space. The circular table that sat as the center piece for the main room was the focus of her attention. Quickly she pulled parchment, ink, and quills in her magic from nearby drawers on the wall and laid all of them out to cover that table. Twilight sat before her collection, ready to repeat this morning’s venture to categorize.
Twilight stared at her assortment of writing materials laid out before her, as if waiting for them to jump up and sprout wings. The sound of the Golden Oak’s branches creaking in the wood was all that met her. She sat there—doing nothing—for a long while. Slowly she grew uncomfortable.
The silence rang in her ears. Her thoughts were a garbled mess of nothing. She was tired as hell. Suddenly she shot up on all fours, and cast a quieting spell on the room, making it so no sound from that room would travel out. Twilight immediately began screaming and laughing maniacally. She moved erratically around the room, kicking and squirming and bouncing. She let out the entirety of the pure waves of emotional confusion that she’d compressed up until then. It wasn’t long until she calmed to just pacing around the room in a circle.
“Okay, Twilight! And yes, I am Twilight! Let’s figure this out.” She did not hold back her volume an inch.
“First things first, I want to live. Check. Good, still got that.” She hoofed herself in the face a little harder than she should have.
“Duh, duh duuuh~ Of course. Ugh, whatever. Okay, ‘Neurotic Twilight’, what now?” She made air-quotes with her hooves when giving herself that nickname.
“Well, we’ve got super-nice-ultra-asexual-good-girl Twilight mixed with neurotic-trans-teenager-level-sexual Mary. Oh, yeah, and not like Twilight wasn’t already Neurotic. Good.” Twilight slumped down onto her rear, she felt like a deflated balloon.
“I really shouldn’t beat myself up like this. I’m still a princess. I’m still Celestia’s star pupil. I can handle this. Besides, it’s not all that bad…right?” Twilight stared down at her hooves.
“Okay.” Twilight took in a deep breath, then let out a long exhale.
“How does my mind work now, how would I classify it? Well, this is definitely not a typical ‘two minds in one’ scenario. As noted, I only have one stream of consciousness, and—besides particular oddities—I don’t seem to disagree with myself. I have only one set of values, that set of values just so happens to be some amalgamation of the values from two lives.”
Twilight chuckled.
“That’s right. I’m also a fictional character, at least from one perspective.”
Pre-Twilight—the mare had decided on calling pre-merge Twilight just ‘pre-Twilight’ for the sake of quick communication during these musings—never knew Mary. Mary, however, did know about Twilight. From Mary’s perspective, Twilight was a fictional character from a television show. Mary knew so much about the show and its fandom from years of indulging in it. Mary adored Twilight, and always wished she could be her, or be with her, or both.
“Which brings me back to that idea that I have a, let’s put it simply, sexual and romantic interest in myself.” Suddenly Twilight grasped at her head with a hoof and pulled at her hair.
“Okay, I get it, I want to bang myself! I really need to concentrate!” She took a deep breath, as she stopped herself from yanking her own hair out.
“So, things that Mary knows.” She started circling the room again.
Mary had knowledge about things that hadn’t happened to pre-Twilight yet. And yet, because of the mind-merge it was just another thing she knew, no more or no less important than any other thing. Twilight knew that this couldn't stand for long. It would be a long and laborious process, but she needed to come up with plans for the future based on this knowledge.
On a new parchment she wrote in large bold lettering, underlined three times: “Future Plans”
She pushed these concerns aside for now. She needed to tackle one thing at a time, she had side-tracked hard from her original effort, so she returned to writing more of her musings. It wasn’t long into this that she finally decided to stop. It felt like she’d done almost nothing. Everything she wrote was obvious to her, yet she could hardly retain it. The simple fact that ‘this was her situation’ was still seemingly impossible to internalize within the time-frame she was given. She decided to go down another avenue.
“Likes and dislikes. What are things that Twilight and Mary liked, and what are they now?”
The first concept which came to her was her favorite color, which was now very light blue. Which, as simple as it was, was interesting to observe. Mary’s favorite color was white, whereas pre-Twilight’s was a dark blue. This observation seemed to show that Twilight’s current interests were simply some sort of middle ground between the two minds that merged.
So, on she went to test this hypothesis. Immediately she was hit by a brick wall. Her favorite meal, what in Equestria was it?
Mary’s favorite meal was porkchop with broccoli. Pre-Twilight’s was a hayburger with hayfries. Twilight fell to the ground, defeated once again. There was a fundamental inconsistency in her desires. The memories of Mary enjoying meat clashed with the memories of Twilight enjoying hay and flowers.
She perked up. “Eggs!”
She at least agreed on enjoying eggs. It was one of the few meat-adjacent products that Ponies consumed, and pre-Twilight had enjoyed some eggs for breakfast occasionally. Though thinking on it, she now would rather have them scrambled than sunny-side-up, which was Mary’s preference.
So there did seem to be places where one side trumped another. Perhaps in an area where that mind had been particularly more adamant in that conviction than the other. She had no clue.
For all she knew, it could have been determined at random. Nevertheless, she added “scrambled eggs” to the list of likes. Still that didn’t solve the original problem. She could not determine her current favorite meal. It simply eluded her. She tucked this thought into a drawer.
Twilight continued in her list making, never reaching a solid conclusion as to how her likes and dislikes were determined. She kept track of how many were determined in what way, ‘combine or collapse’—as she put it. She kept track of how many fit into different regions of life. No pattern emerged. The only relevant data being that more of what she had noted fell into the ‘combine’ category where the previous mind’s likes and dislikes were put at a middle ground.
In addition, while it wasn’t something that was easily put onto a list, her likes and dislikes were much broader and more accepting than before. If before Twilight had liked A and a little B, and Mary had liked C and a little B, then it usually ended with her liking B for certain and liking A and C a little as well. At least, something to that effect occurred frequently.
One interest she had, however, continually crept into her thoughts. Over and over again, the feeling of the open air against her marehood stymied her stream of thought, threatening to topple her over. That part of her clawed against the cage she’d shackled it to, whining, begging, pleading for attention. Every time she thought of her desire to fuck herself silly, her stomach would fill again with a nervous buzz. But she knew she had experience with solving this sort of problem, she had relieved herself many times before while feeling no qualms—at least Mary had. Pre-Twilight was, as she knew full well now, asexual. She wasn’t quite aromantic, but certainly her interest in others had been limited. Now however, this was an area that Twilight couldn’t help but feel was—perhaps unfairly—dominated by Mary’s mind. But now it was her mind.
Those years and years of frequent masturbation, and sexual and romantic yearning was very much a part of her as anything else. Just as she had no problem with her favorite color being light blue, she had no problem with her increased sexuality. It just was. She had lived it, and it was her. Knowing it once was definitely not her from one half’s perspective made her uncomfortable. Twilight wished she could just get rid of that fear, or just get rid of her desires, something.
‘The’ thought however, the one which had been plaguing her this day, was of her attraction to herself. Mary, at least later in life, found herself to be somewhat attractive, but this was different. This attraction was how you felt towards another, yet it was herself. She knew it was herself, she felt it, and yet… her breathing grew hot. Knowing that she was right here, and in her own body made her feel a need to take control of it, to make herself do things, say things, feel things. She could feel her marehood tingle at the thought.
“Oh, fuck,” she moaned.
Is this right?
If I want it, then it should be okay, there is nopony else here, it’s all my wants, my decisions, right?
But am I in the right state of mind?
The mechanics of her mind eluded her, she certainly didn't feel well read enough on the subject. She felt that she could be trusted with important decisions, but that wasn’t the same as truly knowing. Still, she was an adult, nopony else was involved, it was her right to do this. Even as she debated it internally, she had walked her way down to her storage in the basement, and left carrying a full-length mirror in her magic. She shuddered in anticipation as she brought it back up to the first floor. Once it was placed she sat before it and stared deeply at her own reflection.
Her fears melted away into the background as she looked at her form, warmly lit by the morning sun cascading around the room through the high up windows. She placed a hoof upon her chest and slowly traced it down to her thighs. There wasn’t much sensitivity yet, but the motion did elicit a shiver from the mare.
She softly chuckled when she remembered a certain detail. “Oh yeah, tiny crotch tits,” she giggled, “very nice.”
The playful horny mood was diminished as she felt the hardwood floor scratch uncomfortably against her bottom. With a shrug she stood up and made her way up the main stairway. Most of the soft pillows and sheets she owned were up in the bedroom. As soon as she had line of sight with the pillows on her bed, they were in her magical grasp and following her back down. It was then simple work to amass the pillows before the mirror. Twilight made controlled deep breaths, and consciously worked to relax her muscles as she sat down on her pillows in front of the mirror again. The mood had been lost from the escapade, so she worked at bringing it back up. She carefully rubbed at her marehood, exploring the feeling. Somehow, it felt exactly how she expected it to, yet it didn’t.
She had no experience. Mary was trans, and hadn’t been able to get bottom surgery; Pre-Twilight simply never bothered to do much with her body. She stopped her movements. Twilight’s face scrunched as she wrestled with the difficulty of pleasuring herself. With a deep breath she resolved to continue. She thought about how many nights she had dreamed of an opportunity like this. She waited as if some force—some thought—would come to stop her, as if pre-Twilight would appear before her to shout at her to stop. None of it ever came, but still the twisting in her stomach remained.
Again she brought hoof to her nethers and felt that magical tingling feeling return, though she kept her movements very slow. She didn’t focus on the motion, instead she looked deeply into the mirror. She turned and squirmed in place, as her eyes walked along all of her body’s beautiful curves. Her heart felt warm, she pressed a hoof against her chest, feeling her heartbeat. Her wings slowly spread out in excitement.
She looked down directly to her marehood and imagined the sensation of another pony tasting her lower lips. She’d remembered a particular piece she’d seen as Mary depicting Pinkie giving Twilight a “traditional Ponyville welcome” by doing just that. Her extensive imagination took over. Her lower legs bucked as a jolt shot out from her pussy. Her exploratory rubbing increased as she searched for what felt good. Whenever finding anything good she latched onto it. She’d occasionally feel the flap of her wings, when her body shuddered in pleasure. She at least knew what and where the clit was, and that helped. Though she tried to not, perhaps, overburden it. She wasn’t sure how much that should be a concern.
The waves of pleasure were aligning into a good rhythm, but it wasn’t fast enough. She continued to focus on the thought of Pinkie gleefully licking away at her, her tongue probing deep into her folds, and she could feel it. Pinkie was a freak, with no regards she’d drown herself in Twilight’s quivering pussy, and so her movements quickened. Twilight’s breath was heavy, almost panting, but all of this still didn’t seem quite enough. Twilight whined, calling out for more.
With a look of nervousness she attempted to pleasure herself with her magic. She wasn’t the queen of magical precision that Rarity was, but sure enough the feeling of her magic pressing deeper into her folds along with her hoof rubbing hit just right. The sensation blasted her back. It was really like she was receiving. Suddenly she was moving much quicker. Her wings flapped crazily yet gently along with her movements. She was still so clumsy, occasionally losing some of that good feeling she’d found, yet she’d recover and continue to work and work towards climax.
She closed her eyes, transporting herself to the scene in her head. She could see Pinkie’s perfectly round rump moving from side to side as she planted her muzzle firmly into Twilight’s pussy. Twilight saw Pinkie’s face, blushing, eye-lids half open. She saw Pinkie enjoying eating her out. The thought made her chest feel warm, it made her feel so fulfilled. Twilight felt herself running a hoof through Pinkie’s hair, feeling Pinkie’s head bob and twist and turn as Pinkie’s tongue hit a sweet spot. Even as she imagined it, Twilight believed she could really feel it, like Pinkie’s tongue was really there, devouring her marehood.
“Oh, Pinkie!” she moaned.
Her lower legs bucked, her body twitching and writhing in pleasure. It felt like forever. Her body aching from the overwhelming movement coursing through it. She went faster and faster, her magic going deeper inside her.
Her thoughts fixated on imagining that feeling of Pinkie eating her out in as much detail as possible. It felt like it took forever until finally—
“Ah! Fuck!”
Her body shuddered as she came. Her hoof shakily continued to rub as she basked in the feeling. Juices poured out of her folds and coated her hoof, trailing down to the pillows below. Her breathing was heavy and hot. Her whole body felt warm. Her marehood tingled in an amazing way. This was very much worth it.
Slowly, ever so slowly, Twilight came down from that high. She stretched out her wings fully and fell back onto the pillows, her whole body was tense and shaky. Her limbs occasionally twitched. A smile grew across her face as she softly chuckled.
She was still so inexperienced, it had taken a lot of work to get to climax. And still, she felt, it probably could have felt much better. Despite that, she was very certain that this had been a good idea. She could very easily go again if need be, though maybe some rest was needed for her tense muscles. The only thing she could compare the experience to was orgasming as Mary. It actually felt very similar to post-hormone-replacement-therapy climaxes. Which was very nice.
Her soft chuckling slowly died down to a nervous breathing. She’d just masturbated to the thought of coitus with Pinkie, her friend. Twilight has not only Mary’s desire for herself now, but also a desire for her friends and many other ponies besides—both sexually and romantically.
She found the way it melded into her memories with her friends, from pre-Twilight, was interesting. In one night, she’d gone from having five friends, to having five friends she wouldn’t mind having sex with. She wouldn’t mind banging herself too if it was possible.
“This is so messed up. Or, at least, I know it should be, but honestly, I think this is so nice…though it is probably going to make things a little awkward in the future,” said Twilight in a low, slow tone
With all of this thought of sex and whether it was a good change or not came the thought of her religion. The concept of being religious was completely foreign to pre-Twilight, but now, with the mind-merge—and everything that had happened tonight being beyond reason—she may now be religious. She had already been religious as Mary, but separating what she had been and hadn’t been was a game of impossibilities, as both could be true simultaneously now.
She slowly got up off the pillows and onto her hooves. She couldn’t have herself falling asleep, not today, today was too important. Though she really hated that she had to think about her religion now, especially right off of masturbating. Mary had been a considerably liberal Christian, she was trans after all. She attested that she’d been visited by Christ on at least one occasion.
“What does it even mean to be Christian in Equestria? There’s no Bible, no Christ that came here. I’ve always been of the opinion that it’s not impossible that other aliens were out there and that they had their own Christ and their own Bible, but there is none of that here.” She began pacing around the room again.
“Is the reason I’m even here because of the Lord?”
Twilight chuckled and rolled her eyes. Even in Mary’s life she’d been back and forth on her religion. Still, she could remember how much hope and love she felt coming back to Christ after her transition. Whenever her thoughts wandered to leaving the faith, a scratchy small string pulled against her heart. Twilight was a mare of science and reason. Though even Twilight had experienced phenomena she couldn’t explain. Pinkie was a notable example, there was an entire episode dedicated to it. Twilight pressed a hoof into her temple. The idea of being able to recall your memories as they really happened and as if they were some television episode was ridiculous. She couldn’t put the feeling into words. Every time she thought about it, she wondered if the entire experience somehow invalidated her existence. Perhaps, she thought, she was inside a work of fiction right now. She shook her head clear of that line of reasoning.
Twilight thought back on how she’d prayed before breakfast. Praying before a meal was a tradition Mary carried over from her partner, and at least somewhat from her own family. When she’d done it then, she’d felt that same tug that compelled her to do it. She couldn’t help but feel at the time that it just wouldn’t be right to eat without a quick prayer. Until she could figure out her true feelings, and as long as that sense of wrongness would keep, there wasn’t much she could do but continue on.
Twilight sighed. She resolved to continue praying to God, for now at least. She felt like she was hedging her bets rather than truly believing. It wasn’t going to be as sincere of a belief as before, but maybe it’d be useful. Upon coming to this conclusion, Twilight decided to make a quick prayer. She knelt down on all her legs, her chest and stomach against the floor. She wasn’t sure how she should kneel in this body. She closed her eyes, and like a curtain of darkness they veiled the world.
“Lord, if this is your doing please send me some kind of sign. I don’t know how to follow you here, if I can follow you here. I don’t know if you’ve ever been with me for sure.”
Twilight’s memory was cast back. She was still a boy then, a teen. She laid in her bed. The room’s featureless overly orangey beige walls were dimly lit by the lamp beside her. It was her parent’s house, the one they still lived in. Her chest felt like it was filled with a porous gunk. Her whole body felt pinching and pressing pain. It felt like a magma slime had infested her nasal canal. She had been kept awake for that entire night, rolling from side to side with no relief. She laid with her back against the headrest, looking ahead in a haze of grief. She begged for it all to just end. As quickly as she could blink, she saw the hazy image of Christ at the foot of her bed. Before she could react in panic she felt her sickness leave all at once. Her grogginess overtook her, and she slept.
Twilight’s teeth clenched, as she took a deep breath.
My mind was clearly playing tricks on me…right?
“Lord, I don’t know. I’m unsure. I know you’ve heard that from me so many times.”
Twilight focused on relaxing her muscles, and taking controlled breaths.
“But if this is your doing, then thank you. You’ve granted me a life I thought impossible. I’ve prayed so many ‘thank yous’ as Mary for allowing me to transition so gracefully. If you have dominion here, I hope that your grace continues.”
Twilight’s legs ached to get up off the floor and far far away from this ‘conversation’.
“In Jesus Christ my savior’s name, amen,” she finished with haste.
Twilight nearly jumped up, with a loud sigh. Her right eyebrow felt like it was being tugged on with how much it twitched. The stain of disdain still tainted her heart, yet the strings of habit still held firmly to her. The sense of relief she hoped for never came. Her head shook about as she stomped in place, her body trying to remove these feelings as if it were some physical parasite riding her that she could just buck off.
Every sense felt multiplied as she replayed the prayer again in her head. The position was certainly not comfortable.
“Speaking of that being a weird position to pray in,” she said.
Multiple times tonight, there had been moments where she’d felt a want to make some maneuver that would be completely non-sequitur for a pony to make. The moments had been so fleeting, so quick, and always staying in the back of her mind. Looking back on the night until now, though, the discovery of this mental quirk explained the low-level constant tension she experienced. It was not enjoyable.
Her mind had two sets of reflexes, two short life’s worth of experience, in two very different bodies. And now she had to only use the experience from one of those lives. Considering how a lot of her brain merge had occurred, it seemed unfair to her that she had to keep so much of her human motor skills which were now completely useless.
It reminded her of the ‘favorite food consideration’ from earlier. She tried not to think about it much, but yes, she did now have a degree of desire for meat.
“Speaking of the differences between Mary and Twilight’s body…” Twilight said as her gaze turned back down to her nethers.
It wasn’t until this moment that Twilight ever thought about her missing member. It was gone, and now her body made sense. Being in a pony body did complicate that, but as she thought about it, she really liked this form—and not just because of pre-Twilight’s experience with it. Something about it just clicked. For both sets of memories, for all of her likes and dislikes, she entirely agreed that this body felt correct…except maybe the wings. That was still something she was getting used to. Yet, again, as the thought of having a dick came over her, she couldn’t help but wonder. A wandering unease, like a fly that couldn’t be swat, traveled through her. She knew, though it wasn’t something Twilight ever thought of much, that there were ways to magically exchange one’s genitals—at least temporarily. Twilight made an attempt to catch that unease within her in a cup.
“I guess…I wouldn’t mind having one every now and then…you know, for fun.” She chuckled.
It had been a long while since she’d written anything. She wondered if she was losing grasp of her ability to organize, or that perhaps she had overestimated how organized she used to be. Both sides of her were organized to some degree, but very unorganized in other ways. She thought of her friends recoiling as they watched her do something un-Twilight-like. The thought made her heart drop. She really hoped she could stay friends, not just for the sake of the fate of Equestria, but for the sake of her future love life. She really hoped she could get with a mare.
“Maybe Pinkie…I like TwiPie too much” She shook her head clear of that line of questioning.
She thought about her friends. She now had half of her memories of not being friends with them. She’d also just lost access to all of her friends from Mary’s life. At least she had Twilight’s friends. Both sets of memories knew just how valuable those five ponies were. Those five would go to impossible lengths for her sake. They had proven so time and time again, and she knew from Mary that they would have continued to as well. Still, it was a strange situation. The very idea of them being friends with her when she literally was only half of the same pony they had called their friend was crazy. Despite everything, Twilight smiled.
“They’ll stay with me, I just know it.”
She laid her head down on the center table. Closing her eyes she took a deep breath in then out. She rested there for a while. She listened to the creaking and groaning of the Golden Oaks. The din of early morning ponies going about their business was just barely audible. The air had grown warm from the sun’s rays now bathing her tree home.
Not a coherent thought went through her head for a short while. It was a fragile peace, held for but a few moments. Twilight appreciated that peace while it lasted. She’d pushed through the initial confusion, she’d made it. Now the rest of the day would be a marathon rather than a sprint.
Slowly she opened her eyes again, and wrote.
Author's Note
First chapter of first fanfic. Diving into the deep end, like I shouldn't be, by making "the big fanfic".
Ramblings Musings on the Metaphysics, Physics, and History of Equus
By Twilight Mary Sparkle
I write these musings now as I currently find myself in a position to speak on these matters in a way I can claim through years of reading countless works no other has ever been able to in recorded pony history. In short, I’ve inherited the memories of a being from outside our world. None of my observations can yet claim to prove from where these memories come in relation to Equus other than that it is at least not within the same galaxy. My understanding of the physical relations of celestial bodies has been radically changed, though I’ll need to confirm my suspicions with thorough observation and experimentation. Honestly, some of the implications frighten me. I’ve never feared our ruler’s duty to raise and lower the sun and moon as much as I do right now.
I’ve been granted a rudimentary understanding of metaphysical and physical theories which have not yet appeared in Equestrian academia. Non-Euclidean space as a standard such as the saddle universe concept, bubble universes, rotating black holes allowing for travel into other universes, etc. The time I could dedicate to each of these topics would be vast if only I could understand the underlying mathematical concepts which prove them. My memories only grant me limited math concepts such as E=MC^2 (Energy is equal to Mass times the square of the speed of light) which does little to help me replicate the findings. I’ve read a paper by an upcoming physicist which posits a similar equation.
I’ve already made a note to find that paper again and give it another read.
Thankfully, most of the physics lines up between my two sets of memories at least in observation. I can drop an apple and it will fall and land the same way I’d expect it to. The technologies of Equestria still have to obey the natural order, even if that natural order now includes the interaction with a magical field. The ability to draw power from this field is something that was long abandoned in our history. The history of Clover the Clever includes mention of a material that could store power drawn from the field, though its usage led to drastic consequences and all sources of it known at the time were destroyed. I understand, from the perspective of peace loving ponies, why this was done, but I can only imagine where our society would be if we still had access to this resource. Alas, our technology is reliant on using magic to pull and return power to the field in order to do work on physical objects. This limitation has led us to using physical interactions to generate power. Steam is always a good power generator, and we do use it extensively. Though there is still much room for improvement.
Though I initially hoped these musings wouldn’t become informal and incoherent, I’m afraid they have. A strange effect of having these new memories is how they’ve affected my abilities. As Twilight I’ve spent my entire life dedicated to academia and am well versed in writing in a formal tone. As Mary—though I had completed some college—I was nowhere near as comparable to Twilight’s abilities. As Mary, I failed Calculus II three times.
Another comparison between my memories which offers strange insight is the following: As Mary, I watched—and readily enjoyed—a ‘Television Show’ (a thing which has not yet been invented in Equestria, but can be compared to a moving picture show) by the name of “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic”. This show was a work of fiction which invented the world of Equestria as a fantasy setting and followed the journey of myself—Twilight Sparkle—and the other bearers of the Elements of Harmony on our various adventures and goings on. However, the situation I find myself in now, from Mary’s perspective, can not be simply explained as having been transported to this fictional world. There are numerous differences between what Mary’s memories tell me of Equestria and what Twilight’s memories tell. To put it in so few words, the Equus I find myself in now is real. This world is not a fantasy cartoon made for children, but a living breathing place which has a storied history that makes sense. If I were to compare it to Mary’s memories I’d say it’s similar to the “Equestria at War” setting, but with less of a bias towards the human understanding of how history ‘should go’.
There are blimps, trains, and automobiles in this world, but still our society is so ‘backward’ from the human perspective. War is a distant memory, though I have no doubt that if forces align we could be pulled into war all the same. Our society is afraid of war. The drive to avoid war has molded every aspect of Equestria. Still we have guards in shining armor and spears, show pieces which are nothing more than a ruse to appease the populace into thinking that they are safe whilst being a force which, in reality, can do very little. Too many actors pull strings to gut our defense and rob us of systems which could very easily make sure lives are saved without intruding on the everyday citizen.
I want everypony to be safe. The world I came from reveled in war too much. I’ve seen the images of piles of bodies. I turned away to continue eating my breakfast. I’ve seen the images of the chambers they cattled scores of innocent men, women, and children into in order to fill their lungs with toxic gasses, killing them. And I felt so very little. I’ve handled weapons of death, and became knowledgeable in their workings. I had fun being told I was a surprisingly good shot. I’ve simulated war again and again as a pass time, counting the recruits as just numbers on a page, laughing at how humorous it was that millions had died. It was fun, I thought—and sickeningly I sometimes still do think it is fun—to play war. There is an allure to war, an allure I fear is in all ponies. I wonder if that is why our society beats the drum of peace so loudly, because if we were to hear how our psyche cries for violence we’d be tempted to give in.
I have the power of a princess of Equestria. Only Celestia and Luna can overrule my decrees, or the privy council if it is able to come to a consensus on a veto. I have a duty to protect this land and everycreature that inhabits it.
God willing I will fulfill this duty.
Musings On Pony Names
By Twilight Mary Sparkle
There are various aspects to pony naming convention, which change between groups and over time. There are always outliers as well, as a name is simply that, a name given from one to another. Here we will focus on names as understood through the social contract as the identifier for a pony. As societies developed the need for keeping track of one pony versus another went beyond simple social bonds and in-groups but to lists and tallies for tax and writs of purchase and the assigning of property.
For all of recorded pony history the standard has been that pony names are composed of one or more words which already have meaning. Language’s have changed and evolved over time, but this standard remains the same. So ingrained is this standard, that even in our discussions of ancient figures, whose names no longer hold meaning, their names are instead translated.
However, this is not the whole story, for another tradition longer than our history records stays with us still. The inclusion of names which have no meaning into the string of words which do. This naming convention is most contemporarily common amongst traditionalist earth ponies, but can be found in all ponies and in all classes. There are some groups that lean into the tradition of non-word names even more by including non-word names in the first name. With the creation of identification systems such as the one currently in use in Equestria which give out unique numbers to each pony birthed, there is no need for an additional layer of variability from one pony’s name to another.
The standard for names in Equestria is a first name which can be multiple words long, an optional middle name which follows in the aforementioned style of not being a word, and a last name which is usually carried along the mother’s side which is a single word.
Now having the perspective of Mary’s memories, the non-word names are what fascinate me most. Every instance I can find of a pony with a non-word name is also a name from Mary’s world. There are even ponies with Mary in their name—including me! The creation of these non-word names is something which I’ve spent sorely little time researching, and I have much interest in understanding where they come from. In Mary’s world name’s do have meaning, but they’re often a meaning lost to time or simply from another language, though there are exceptions. Last names, like Cook and Baker exist, but also names like Alexander which have some meaning to it from the language it originally came from, but I don’t know it! I wonder if our non-word names have a similar heritage.
As previously mentioned, ancient names are often translated, and I wonder if these non-word names are simply ancient words left untranslated!
Note to research this topic!
Musings On Starswirl the Bearded
By Twilight Mary Sparkle
~~He’s actually an asshole.~~
Musings On Electronics & Electricity
By Twilight Mary Sparkle
Within the last one-hundred years our understanding of electricity has dramatically increased, and now inventions such as the light bulb find a place in most households. Power poles connect many homes and workplaces to a public infrastructure of electricity generation. Great dams and coal fired steam plants power the modern world. Electronics has not been an area of focus for me, but now I have much greater interest in it. Equestria is on the cusp of early electromechanical computing, and it is a field ripe to expand rapidly. Even with my rudimentary understanding of the development of electrical computing, I’m sure I could—with great effort—become a leader in the field. Mary had four fifths of a computer science degree, but Twilight graduated top of her class at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns.
The implementation of electronic computing is various and will have lasting impacts on every industry imaginable. Computing can be used to handle a variety of tasks to improve the efficiency of everypony’s life and work. However, the early years of computing will find their use limited. In Mary’s world, as with so many technologies of the time, computing was pushed heavily for its use in warfare. Computers designed to calculate the trajectories of artillery and naval gunnery were at their time the peak of computing. Vast quantities of money and talent was poured into computing in order to win that horrid war. The same could be said of the field of radiological materials.
The Manhattan project, one of humanity’s greatest scientific undertakings, bringing together some of the brightest minds of a generation, in order to create the pinnacle of destructive weapons: a bomb which could destroy an entire city. The creation of the atomic bomb was one of the defining moments of humanity, it sits along peers as prestigious as the creation of fire and agriculture themselves.
I have no doubt that such a device could be manufactured in our world in only a few decades if Equestria pushed its economic weight towards it.
I have no doubt that the creation of such a device would hold just as terrible consequences.
However, it is fundamentally the same principle which allows the atomic bomb to operate that also allows nuclear power to do the same. Fission energy is the best method of energy generation I’ve ever known possible. Fusion was always only theoretical. Our current reliance on coal power will only get us so far, and already Equestria is starting to feel the effects of it. Even with pegasi to manage the great clouds of smog that coal burning produces, still it is a growing concern. Sure, there is the potential of wind power and solar power, but those have always proven to be best used as a backup.
Computing will be used extensively in fission power generation, but it will need to get to an adequate level for it to be capable of processing the needs of that field. For the advancement of computing, I don’t see there being a market amongst consumers or most industries for the massive room spanning computers that will make up the early stages. Government money will be needed to lubricate the wheels of progress, so attention must be paid to what uses the government would need. Much of Equestria’s governmental record keeping is done using pen and paper and filing cabinets, sometimes ink and quill, this could be replaced by computing.
I realize I’ll live long enough to see the creation of video games.
Musings On Magical Electronics
By Twilight Mary Sparkle
There are concepts Mary has toyed with which now fascinate me as an area of research. The idea of creating complex arrays of spell matrices is one that has never been done before. The level of precision engineering and timing required would be astonishing. With electricity and micro-computing this may become possible, but the venture would be far off into the future.
But now I have time, I have hundreds of years to wait, and this future will come relatively soon compared to my extended lifespan.
The utilities that spell matrices could have are astonishing. I have nowhere near the ability to predict truly how capable the technology would be, but I suspect the upper-bounds of its capabilities to be able to produce products similar to what is seen in “Fallout: Equestria”. Which, while a grim comparison, does show that the technology could be used to do much good as there are many devices from that setting that genuinely improve the life of the average pony.
Automatons may be closer to being created here than they were in Mary’s world.
Musings On The Gender Spectrum
By Twilight Mary Sparkle
Sadly the current understanding of sex and gender is not as advanced as I’d hope. I can only pray that other ponies would understand Mary’s circumstance and position as a woman, despite her birth. For now, I plan to keep Mary’s transgender identity a secret. There’s no reason anypony would need to know, besides, half of me is still a cis mare, and that has to count for something.
Twilight never delved much into the topic, so much of my observations are surface level, but I suspect that pony society is similar to what was seen in most human societies like in Asia, wherein as long as you pass then you’ll be fine.
I know Mary was a big fan of the idea that Trixie was transgender, and while it is a wild accusation and I have no reason to believe it is true, there is all reason to suspect that there may be ponies out there with a similar story to Trixie who are trans. Many transgender ponies in Equestria probably do live away from where they grew up, and many of them are probably used to traveling from town to town whenever their secret is uncovered.
I hope I won’t ever have to do the same. I realize now the implications of my situation as a nearly immortal princess make the issue of keeping Mary’s identity secret even more important. Still, as a nearly immortal princess I will have a say in how Equestria’s opinions on this matter change over the generations.
Musings On Sex & Sexuality
By Twilight Mary Sparkle
There are some facets of Equestrian society's views on sex and sexuality that differ from Mary’s human societies, or are generally important to note. Places in which there is a difference will be noted.
Ponies are accustomed to presenting nude in public as an everyday occurrence.
Human society places importance on at least the genitals always being covered, with only very few exceptions.
Nudity is more or less common from community to community, though almost never regarded as impolite except at formal events.
Public Nudity is outlawed in the vast majority of human societies.
While being nude in public is acceptable, being aroused in public is something which is expected to happen on occasion but met with disdain if not immediately suppressed and hidden, such as by lowering the tail to hide the genitals.
Public displays of arousal are not as common an issue in Human society as the genitals are kept hidden anyway. But, similarly, humans are expected to hide their arousal in public if it is noticeable.
Pegasi wings can react to excitement by unfurling, this includes sexual arousal. This kind of excitement is also expected to be suppressed in a public setting.
Ponies consider the act of sex itself something to be left in privacy.
Ponies exhibit a bias to producing females, with the population stabilizing at 60% female 40% male.
Humans only exhibit a slight bias towards females, closer to 51% female 49% male.
The above does not hold up in times of stress and war, where the split becomes 50-50.
No change seems to happen in humans.
Due to the long peace, ponies are very accepting of ponies going without a partner, though this dynamic has somewhat been replaced by same-sex relations.
Human society has long derided those who stay widowed and only recently became more accepting.
Ponies have, within the past two hundred years, slowly become more accepting of same-sex relationships.
Very recently magical methods have been determined and readily spread to allow for a pony to temporarily change their sexual organs. Readily spread, but not readily accepted in polite society. Using these spells has become a very popular secret amongst many lesbian couples to allow for insemination, in addition to being used simply for pleasure by various individuals. Being seen in public with the opposite genitals will likely lead to that individual being branded a transsexual and ostracized.
Due to the female-male split, female-female relationships are preferred above male-male ones.
Human society seems to not have a preference.
Certain sexual activities are considered deviant, some to the point of illegality such as pedophilia.
For the most part these seem to coincide with what was common in the United States around 50 years ago, with the exception of previously mentioned same-sex relations and polyamory which is legal and only rarely derided, though its practice is still rare. I suspect this is due to the female-male split.
There, as always, are deviants in one or more of the above regards.
Musings On Theology & Ethics
By Twilight Mary Sparkle
Theology does exist in Equus in so much as one can point to a philosophy which is proven wrong and say that it was founded on bad presumptions. Philosophy is the Equus understanding of determining the world, but these philosophies will either include or presume things such as the metaphysics behind the world similarly to theology. The leading philosophy of Equestria today can be traced back to Tranquil Hops’ theory of harmonic absolutism. Though this has been expounded upon by later works into the more modern understandings of nationalism.
Most of pony philosophy is focused on the group and not the individual. My instincts from Mary’s memories would want to chalk this up to a sort of ‘herd mentality’ amongst ponies and other similar species. I’m afraid it’s a very convincing argument. This understanding of ponies as being overly concerned with the group explains our society’s ability to keep the peace despite ourselves. Though nationalism and similar philosophies have led to colonialism and expansionism, they’ve been useful. I’ve seen this story before. I have no answer to it, and I’m afraid I’ll have to answer the question in the future.
Equestria is expanding, becoming more capitalistic and colonialist, and surely much suffering will and has come from it.
I’m no “Caramel Marks” nor “Karl Marx”, but I’m not sure if this is the best outcome.
Still, it’s the only reality I know, from both perspectives.
Still, theology remains unsolved. Simply, where did our world come from? I’m surprised at how little material there is on the subject, or perhaps Twilight was too absorbed in what could be proven to investigate it.
I have no proof of God. The idea that I’m here in the first place, I would dare to say lends credence that the Christian God was just a myth. There is no evidence of his doings in this world. There is no text that mentions him, nor followers that espouse his name.
But, what made this world?
Musings On Firearms
By Twilight Mary Sparkle
If it is derived that the national security of Equestria and personal freedoms of ponies can be enhanced while creating a safe and healthy society by increasing our weapon technology then Mary’s knowledge may come in useful.
Mary by no means was a gunsmith, nor particularly knowledgeable in the history of firearms, but there’s enough there to work off of. Equestria has, and makes regular use, of fireworks. In addition, though a Griffon invention imported to Equestria, one can find the occasional simple cannon. However, the implementation of explosively driven projectiles has not matured. Pony portable firearms, while do exist in other parts of the world, are not used by any forces in Equestria. Therefore our current understanding of explosive powders is not to the standard needed for the most capable firearms, and would most likely only be able to create black powder muskets if unaided by other factors. However, we can aid this development, and if I can find the right mix of combustible and oxygenating materials I may be able to reproduce smokeless powder.
I’ve already made note to order many different materials to use for future experiments in this regard.
The smithing required for firearms is at the level that, with enough oversight into the refinements of the working of the metal, could be easily made to create bolt action rifles or better given little time.
If I were to dedicate myself to this craft now, then I could expect to see automatic rifles within ten years. This conclusion is based on the following assumptions:
I would have access through government funding to a factory and the means to staff and equip it
I would be able to staff a research and development team
With the above resources, perhaps multiple groups focusing on different efforts, I believe we could be able to get our defense technology up to the ‘world war’ level within that ten year period.
I’ve already made a note to compile this finding along with explanations of the technology being sought after in a future report to Princess Celestia.
I trust her judgment more than mine on this matter, but she needs to know her options. If Equestria is ever threatened by war, she needs to know the time it will take to reach this level of defense.
~~Shit~~
Dear Princess Celestia,
This letter will be delivered along with another missive explaining my current circumstance. If you have not read that one, please do so now as its context is needed.
Tirek has escaped from Tartarus.
I recommend an immediate reactivation of S.M.I.L.E. in service of the crown with the task of finding and capturing Tirek.
Your faithful student,
Dear Princess Celestia,
I write to inform you of an important development within myself, a development which I fear may be of importance not only to you personally, but to the national security of Equestria.
Before I tell you of this circumstance, I wish to write to you informally, as I know it will be my last time to do so before your understanding of me is forever changed:
Celestia, you’ve been my teacher for so much of my life. It is through you I have grown into the pony which has kept Equestria safe, nurtured friendships, and—at least according to you—matured enough to become a princess. I can never repay you enough. Even as I write, my heart beats with passion for my eternal appreciation. Through everything I tell you, I want you to know this: Thank you. Really, thank you.
Last night, I awoke to find that I had gained the memories of another life. I tell you sincerely I have lived two lives—I truly have. This other life I’ve lived was as a human named Mary, a being from far far away. Mary is very different from the Twilight you know, though still very similar in some regards. In particular, I want you to know that Mary actually knew of Twilight in her life, though Twilight did not know of her. It is from this that Mary grew to admire Twilight a great deal, and wished she could be her.
To dissuade your assumptious fears, no Mary is not the reason behind this occurrence and I still don’t know what caused it. Mary only knew of Twilight through fiction, I should add that that’s very important: Twilight was a fictional character from Mary’s perspective. It’s actually because of this that I have some knowledge of potential future events that I’ll be more than happy to divulge to you, including in another letter attached to this one.
Celestia, I have great fear of how you’ll judge me. It feels like I’m writing to you for the first time, though we’ve shared countless letters.
Most importantly of all, what I said at the beginning is still true. I’m still so grateful to have been your student and to be your student still as a princess. I want nothing more than to fulfill the role set out for me to the best of my ability and to bring peace and friendship to all.
At the moment of writing I’m spending my time in my library compiling my memories into writings as best as I can, though Spike is not here to send this letter so I’ll probably be doing something else by the time you receive this.
I’m afraid there is too much to write. It would take an autobiography of Mary’s entire life to get across a fraction of what I feel now. So, I will not attempt to condense it much here.
I look forward to hearing from you, and perhaps seeing you, soon.
Your faithful student,
P.S. I’ve decided to incorporate Mary’s name as my middle name, since I had none before. Her life is as much a part of me as Twilight’s and it felt only fitting to me.
P.S.S. You can still call me Twilight Sparkle or just Twilight in conversation of course.
Musings On War
By Twilight Mary Sparkle
War is what creates a nation, for no nation exists without war or the threat of war to keep its borders. As long as the capacity for war exists within the heart of any single creature, this axiom will stand.
It is therefore of vital importance that a nation is equipped for war. This does not mean having a standing army at all times, for if that idea was taken to its extreme then every citizen would be armed. Nations must plan to face all potential opposition. If a nation is able to keep no army, yet be able to create one fast enough to defend itself, and that is the best solution then it must be done. If a nation keeps no army, and is not able to create one fast enough, however, it will surely fail.
Being able to determine readiness for all possibilities is vital, yet none can predict the future, so caution is always the best answer. If you think you need an army ready in two years, be ready to make an army in one. If you think you need an army in one year, you should have an army already made. If you think you need an army of 100,000 then make one of 500,000.
Ultimately war is a game of multiple players. There is no way to predict your opponent with total accuracy, so precautions must be taken.
Ponies have become disgusted by war, yet there is ample evidence that there exists forces which stand against Equestria which do not share in this revulsion—the Changelings stand as a prime example.
It is for these above reasons that Equestria must improve its defensive capabilities.
I have knowledge of other possible timelines. If the elements of harmony fail, then Equestria will become subjugated or destroyed, and it will be awful for all involved. The elements are tied to six ponies, who are all just as capable of perishing as any other living being. Once the other five die of old age, there will be little else to defend Equestria but my own strength. Under my supervision, this will not stay the case.
I’ve decided to turn this musing into a letter to you, Dear Celestia, sorry this opening is included so late into the writing. I felt it best to let the words speak for themselves.
I’ve begun work on a preliminary report of the situation of Equestria as I understand it, though if given the proper resources and time I would love to gather some intelligence heads from your governance to help me in creating a more accurate and detailed understanding.
I know you Celestia, now more than I ever have. If you remember from my previous letters, then you’ll know I have some extra-ordinary knowledge and that includes you. I know how much you want to protect Equestria, but I know how much you fear war. I only hope we can meet at a middle ground in order to truly protect ourselves from it.
No matter what, I will always trust in your judgment.
Your faithful student,
Twilight carefully placed the quill into a nearby holder for it as she stared past the rough paper she’d just written on, her eyes focusing on some point beyond it. The wood floor against her haunch pressed into her muscles. She shifted in place, but the uncomforting feeling stuck like a parasite. It kindled in her lungs, her forehooves becoming heavy as she felt it spread outward. She sighed, leaning her head back. She closed her eyes and mentally beat herself for writing such a terrible thing.
Her gaze returned to the parchment, with a blank expression she burned it in the fire of a quick spell, and swiftly it was replaced by a new one.
3: Welcome to Friendship I
The cake batter slowly rose in the pan, warmly lit by the oven’s internal light. Pinkie bounced her body up and down as she remained crouched to watch the event. Her smile grew. The chime above the bakery’s front door rang. Pinkie shot up in an instant, her head twisted to view the new visitor and her body followed behind a moment after. Pinkie’s momentary confusion was replaced again by a smile as she recognized one of Ponyville’s most recognizable residents.
“Heya, Spike.” Pinkie said in her usual peppy tone.
Spike’s demeanor did not change from how it had been for the last hour.
With a blank stare he looked up to Pinkie and gave a simple, “Hey.”
Pinkie tilted her head. It had been a while since she’d seen Spike this obviously upset.
“What’s got you all downy frowny?” Pinkie said in a sing-songy way.
The familiar visage of the town’s resident party pony, ever so vigilantly full of cheer, struck a chord of disharmony against the background noise of Twilight’s demeanor of unblemished nervousness that played on loop in his thoughts. Spike felt like a single line of muscle that stretched from his head to his toes had all at once spasmed and remained still. He stood, staring at Pinkie for a moment.
“Twilight told me this morning that she woke up with the memories of a totally different life,” he finally replied, his tone letting out a few bars of the same uneasy music from within his crackling mind.
With a deep breath, he turned his head to the side and continued in a softer voice, “And I’m starting to believe her.”
“New memories? Different life?” Pinkie’s head tilted back and forth. Her expression violently morphed into a playful terror. Before Spike could react, Pinkie had grabbed his shoulders with her forehooves and began shaking him.
“Does Twilight not remember us anymore!?” she exclaimed before suddenly ceasing her movements.
She stared into him, nervously awaiting his response.
Spike shook his head in an attempt to undo the rattling he was just given. He looked at Pinkie, a snarled tooth escaped from his lower lip.
“Twilight still remembers us, Pinkie. She said she still remembers everything, it’s just that she has new memories on top of that now.”
Spike placed a claw upon his chin, the truly sufficient explanation for this scenario eluded his thoughts.
“I guess it’s like if somepony else was also in Twilight’s mind now? No, not really, she said it’s not like that…”
Spike continued to mumble to himself, scratching at his chin and thumping a clawed foot against the wood floors.
Pinkie’s head slowly rose up, until she was looking straight ahead into the horizon. Her eyes glazed over. She was completely unmoving. Spike looked up again at the mare, and raised a brow. Pinkie remained frozen in place.
With a sigh and a shrug, Spike opened his bag and brought out a small book.
“Anyway, here’s that book on baking with vanilla, don’t know why you need an entire book for that, but whatever.”
Spike held the book up towards Pinkie. She did not move. Spike waved the book in front of Pinkie’s face, with no results.
“Weird. Okay, I’m just gonna put this over here on the counter for you then.”
Spike clambered up a barstool to reach the counter.
“Wait! I need to throw a ‘Welcome to Equestria’ party!” Pinkie suddenly burst out at max volume.
Spike tumbled to the ground, thrown off by the noise. His fall had been, surprisingly, caught by his bag of books as he landed on top of them. The front door to the bakery chimed. As Spike recovered, he checked that the bag’s contents were unharmed. With a quick scan, he determined all was well. Spike looked back up to see that Pinkie was already long gone.
Spike closed his eyes as a new wave of nervousness overtook him. The oven’s alarm rang out suddenly. A gust of wind blew past him and Spike opened his eyes in shock to find Pinkie pulling a cake pan out of the oven.
“Whoopsie, I almost forgot about this,” she said with a grin.
Pinkie turned to spike, and a frosting tool was shoved into his claws.
“Could you frost this real quick for me, but be sure to wait until it’s cooled. I’ll be back later, ok thanks bye!” Pinkie’s words came out at the speed of light.
“Wait, Pinkie!” but as the words left Spike’s mouth, Pinkie was already out the door.
Twilight had told Spike that she needed some time alone, but Spike could already tell that Pinkie was now well on her way to disturbing that peace.
Welp, this’ll end well.
***
Fluttershy had seen Rainbow Dash perform enough times to know that her oldest friend was currently having an amazing time in the sky. Fluttershy stood in a field just outside her cottage, which was just the right distance away from Ponyville for her liking. Today, being so far out made it feel like Rainbow Dash and herself were the only two ponies in the world.
Fluttershy cheered on—quietly—as Rainbow Dash practiced a routine for herself and Tank, her pet tortoise. Seeing a tortoise fly about with his enchanted helicopter extension had slowly become normal for Fluttershy over the year or so Rainbow had cherished Tank. Fluttershy’s eyes tracked the quick movements, darting left, right, up, and down as the two fliers moved about at speed.
Fluttershy never partook in acts of daring and athleticism like Rainbow Dash did, but she’d learned a fair amount about the field over the years. Sure, she wasn’t as knowledgeable or experienced as Rainbow, but after quietly listening to your friend ramble on and on about the subject for over ten years, you pick up a thing or two. If it weren’t for Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy wouldn’t know even a tenth as much as she does now about the Wonderbolts, or how to properly angle your wings to come out of a dive depending on how fast you’re going, and so on. Because of this, Fluttershy had a deeper appreciation for the stunts that Rainbow regularly pulled outside of them just looking cool to the untrained eye. Knowing how difficult these maneuvers were made Fluttershy all the more proud of Rainbow for accomplishing them.
Ultimately she never focused on retaining the information that Rainbow Dash imparted on her that much, that wasn’t really what made Rainbow happy to talk to her for hours at a time, instead Fluttershy was just a really good listener. And Fluttershy loved listening to Rainbow Dash. She also liked watching her in her zone, up in the sky. Watching Rainbow do some new, or even old, maneuver always put a smile on Fluttershy’s face. Really, all that mattered to her was knowing that Rainbow Dash was happy doing her thing.
Rainbow was Fluttershy’s oldest, and for a long time only, friend. Even when she became fast friends with Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie, and Twilight she still couldn’t help but gravitate towards Rainbow Dash. Fluttershy’s smile grew a little wider as she thought about just how much Rainbow had been a part of her life.
“Heya, Fluttershy. What’s up?” Pinkie’s face beamed as she appeared unexpectedly right next to Fluttershy.
Fluttershy jumped as her body locked up in fright. Her heartbeat quickened, but she couldn’t move an inch. Slowly Pinkie walked her way into Fluttershy’s vision. Fluttershy relaxed her muscles, and exhaled, her face quickly returned to a soft smile.
“Oh, you startled me, Pinkie,” Fluttershy finally responded, a tinge of nervousness still evident in her tone.
“Rainbow Dash is practicing a routine for her and Tank,” she quickly added.
Pinkie turned her head up to watch the performance. Her mouth went agape as she watched Rainbow Dash and Tank soar past each other, exchanging a small flag in the process.
“Woohoo! Go Rainbow Dash!” Pinkie loudly cheered.
Rainbow swerved violently, tumbling in the air, as she tried to desperately avoid hitting Tank as they made another pass. Tank’s altitude dropped and he quickly stumbled into the ground. Pinkie cringed, and Fluttershy covered her face in horror as they watched the disaster unfold. Seconds after Tank hit the ground, both Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash had bolted over to check on him. Rainbow Dash reached Tank first, and was furiously looking everywhere to make sure not a scratch was on him. Rainbow’s frantic nervousness was dispelled by a loud sigh when she found nothing out of the ordinary. She looked deeply into Tank’s eyes, as she slowly let him go. Tank, for his part, looked to Dash with a genuine determined smile. Her head locked onto Pinkie, who was slowly walking over to the group with a sheepish grin. Rainbow gritted her teeth, her gaze turning cold as she thought about how close Pinkie came to hurting her pet.
Relax, everything’s fine. You can’t get mad at Pinkie for being Pinkie.
With a deep sigh, Rainbow forced herself to calm down. Her steely anger turned to a tense appeasement.
“You startled us, Pinkie. What’s up?” Rainbow’s terse speech did little to hide her unamused character.
Pinkie couldn’t help but shy away from Rainbow Dash’s words.
“I’m sorry, Rainbow Dash, I thought you usually liked being cheered on.” Pinkie desperately tried not to frown.
Rainbow Dash sighed, “You did nothing wrong, Pinkie. It’s okay.”
Rainbow’s mood slowly lifted as she thought on her own words. She really believed what she’d said.
“So, what’s up?” Rainbow gave her best genuine attempt at a friendly tone.
Fluttershy looked up from Tank, having also concluded that the creature was well. Her gaze joined in with Rainbow’s, looking towards Pinkie expectantly. Pinkie’s body language immediately shifted back to her usual joyfulness.
“I came by to see if you two’d be available for Twilight’s ‘Welcome to Equestria Again’ party later today!”
Pinkie flourished the announcement of the party with the wave of a hoof as she threw a small collection of streamers into the air. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy shared a glance. From just that brief exchange of body language the two picked up that the other was available, but confused. Rainbow looked back to Pinkie wearing her confusion on her sleeve.
“Uh sure, we’d be available, but why does Twilight need to be welcomed to Equestria? I don’t remember hearing about her going on any sort of trip recently,” said Rainbow Dash.
Pinkie’s eyes closed, and her hoof came up to cover her snout as she giggled. A snort escaped Pinkie’s muzzle as she finally contained her amusement, looking back up at Rainbow Dash.
“That’s because she didn’t go on any trip, silly. We’re welcoming a new half of Twilight to Equestria!” Pinkie animatedly gestured along with her explanation.
“Does three in the afternoon at Twilight’s place sound good?” Pinkie leaned forward, expectantly awaiting their answer.
Rainbow glanced over to Fluttershy again, looking to see if she was okay with this. Rainbow was surprised to see her relatively calm about the request, though she knew there was still her usual pensiveness towards social gatherings mixed in there.
Rainbow turned back to Pinkie and answered with a shrug, “Sure, we’ll be there.”
Pinkie perked up, her smile widening as she bounced in place.
“Okie dokie lokie, I’ll see you both at the party!” Pinkie finished as she quickly turned and bounced away.
Rainbow looked back to Fluttershy and once again shrugged.
“Eh, Pinkie, am I right? I’m sure it’ll be a fun time,” Rainbow said with a smirk.
Fluttershy simply nodded with a smile.
***
The silence inside of the Carousel Boutique was only occasionally interrupted by the turning of a page as Rarity read her latest obsession outside of work. Rarity had long ago picked up the habit of reading fiction. She liked to impress on others the value that opening the mind to new worlds gave any artist. She always thought that the appreciation of art in all its forms opened the psyche to imagination and creativity. Recently however, Rarity found herself more and more gravitated to fiction which focused on romance. Once a week she allowed herself to have a full day to focus on activities other than work, and she had been looking forward to these days more and more as she dove further into her love of stories of blooming relationships.
Rarity leaned forward into the book floating before her in her magic, as she stumbled over the words—lost in the excitement of what was to come. Sentence by sentence the two mares in the story came closer to sharing their first kiss. Rarity’s heart skipped a beat.
The ring of the doorbell violated Rarity’s ears. She fell back into her chair as the beautiful scene she was enjoying dissipated from her mind in a puff of smoke. She closed her eyes, trying to shut out the world which had slighted her. She set the book aside, taking in a deep breath. With a sigh, Rarity opened her eyes again and jumped out of her chair.
“Coming, darling!” She announced to whoever was at the front door.
She opened the door to find Pinkie staring at her with an excited grin.
“Hi Rarity! I’m throwing a ‘Welcome to Equestria Again’ party for Twilight at her place at three pm. Care to join?” Pinkie announced at a quick pace.
Rarity, while well knowing Pinkie’s antics by now, found herself having to stand there and process Pinkie’s words for a second. Pinkie watched as Rarity’s expression turned from a smile to a smirk of confusion.
“Of course, Pinkie, I’d be happy to. Just, um, why does Twilight need to be welcomed to Equestria?” Rarity asked.
Pinkie chuckled. “Because we’re welcoming Twilight’s new half!”
Rarity met Pinkie’s enthusiasm with stunned silence.
New half? Like, a partner?
Rarity didn’t suspect Twilight of being the kind of mare to be in any sort of relationship, at least not at the moment. The more she thought about it, the less likely it seemed. If Twilight was in a relationship, she was sure her friends would know by now.
Perhaps that’s what the party is for? To announce this coupling…
If they had to be welcomed to Equestria then that would mean a long distance relationship. Rarity found it plausible that Twilight had been writing to some special somepony.
Perhaps a penpal of hers turned romantic?
The very idea sparked Rarity’s imagination. Twilight in her study, with only a single candle to light her as the hours grew late, reading her secret lover’s newest missive as she wrote her own response. Twilight shifted in the chair as her thoughts had led her marehood to quiver in anticipation for attention.
Rarity shook her head clear of those thoughts, though the journey down that path had left her face stained a bright red. Rarity forced a cordial smile.
“I see…well, I’ll be happy to congratulate Twilight then,” Rarity finally spoke after the brief silence.
Pinkie didn’t react an iota to Rarity’s behavior.
“Okie, dokie, lokie! I’ll see you there!” Pinkie ended with a wave goodbye, and bounced away.
***
The hum of the engine came to a stop, the sound of the midday birds replaced it as the noise that dominated Applejack’s ears. With a grunt, she pushed the door to her truck open and hopped out onto the dirt road just out front of Sweet Apple Acres. The sky was clear, and the sun was high. Applejack’s Stetson shielded her face from the beating heat. With a sigh, she slammed the truck door shut and made her way to the back. She dropped down the door to the truck bed, and jumped back when she saw Pinkie laying amongst the cargo.
Just as quickly as confusion had stricken her, relief washed over in its place with a chuckle.
“Well, howdy, Pinkie,” Applejack greeted the friend—and very distant relative—with a smile.
Applejack’s brow suddenly raised as she stared at the sack Pinkie sat upon.
“You, uh, may not want to be sitting on the pig food there, Pinkie,” Applejack added.
With the tilt of her head Pinkie leaned down to give the sack she sat on a sniff. The concentrated stench of rotting fruit and old mushy meals assaulted her nose. With wide eyes, Pinkie leaped down from the truck bed.
“Heh, oopsie,” Pinkie said, looking at Applejack with a sheepish grin.
Pinkie couldn’t help but giggle, and just like that all her worries were gone even before they arrived. Pinkie’s smile contagiously spread to Applejack, but was soon followed by a grimace as she put a hoof up to cover her nose.
“Yeah, you might wanna wash up sometime,” Applejack chuckled.
“Shoot, if you’re smelling like that you might as well help me with moving this stuff and then clean up after,” she added.
Pinkie’s eyes widened and her smile grew.
“I’d love to!”
Pinkie’s mouth went agape, as she realized why she’d even come here.
“But I won’t have time, because I’ll be so busy getting Twilight’s ‘Welcome to Equestria Again’ party ready!”
Pinkie’s eyes grew even wider as she stared at Applejack.
“And you’re invited! It’s today at three at Twilight’s place. Will you come? Will you? Will you?”
Applejack raised a hoof to her chin, furrowing her brow. After a second she looked back to Pinkie with a smirk.
“Sure, I’ll be there. But, what’re we welcoming Twilight to Equestria for?” Applejack raised a brow.
Pinkie rolled her eyes with another round of giggling.
“Everypony’s asked me that same question. It’s because she’s got a new half that needs welcoming!”
Applejack’s brow only raised further, but before a sound could escape her lips, Pinkie continued.
“Anyway, I really should get busy getting the party ready. I’ve spent so much of my time just inviting everypony!”
Pinkie spun around, and bounded away to Ponyville.
“Bye Applejack, I’ll see you at the party!” she exclaimed, having already made it over the crest of a hill.
Applejack rolled her eyes.
Just Pinkie being Pinkie.
***
The town of Ponyville hadn’t changed. Spike’s day of uneventful chores had given him little comfort against the backdrop of the morning’s revelations. The weight of books he once carried now was lessened, and only partly replaced by a few bits received from book loan payments or even just the odd donation. Spike looked up at the Golden Oaks. A pit of unease buried into his stomach. Twilight was inside, and knowing that gave the location an ominous aura. Every step he made up to the front door felt like it should be his last, that he should turn away instead. His face tensed as he opened the door.
Books were scattered everywhere, parchment was dangling from the shelves and scrawled across the table and the floor, and more of everything was stacked in messy piles. Spike sighed, and raised a brow. There had been a sense within him that he'd come in here to find everything different from how it should be, a sense that Twilight had changed. That feeling dissipated, instead replaced by the nervous optimism that Twilight was overreacting exactly as she normally would. That didn’t mean he still didn’t approve of Twilight's usual antics, but that concern mixed around with his newfound relief in an odd way. Spike wasn’t sure if he liked the feeling, the feeling like something was bubbling in his chest.
It bubbled up into his lungs, and an exasperated laugh was pushed out from his chest. A smile spread readily to his face.
“Well, Twilight is ‘Twilighting’,” he said to the empty room.
With a huff, he walked further in. His eyes scanned the various writings that covered every surface.
Lots of stuff that begins with ‘Musings on’.
Spike took a moment to fully read out a particular piece that caught his eye. A bulleted list of items which had numerous pieces of parchment tacked on to create a massive scrolling piece of paper. It was a list of things Twilight liked and disliked. Spike’s visage slowly fell as he read it over. Very little on the list was exactly the same as how he knew Twilight. There were so many inclusions that gave him pause. It felt like somepony other than Twilight wrote it.
Spike froze, his eyes locked onto the page as he read ‘I like meat’.
Spike felt the shadow of the monster quickly curling up the walls behind him. Red eyes and a snarling mouth crouched in the dark void. Spike spun around violently, his heart pounding, ready to flee the horrors that had snuck up on him. His eyes darted around. The room was empty. The monster wasn’t there, Twilight wasn’t there. He focused his thoughts inward. Repeating assurances echoed in his mind telling him that Twilight would never eat him, that Twilight would never eat her friends. Spike shook his head.
I’ve met a Griffon before, and I wasn’t afraid that she’d eat me, this is no different…right?
Spike’s breathing slowed down over time. Spike glanced back at the parchment which had started this whole thing. The thought of reading anymore made him want to throw up. With quick strides, Spike made his way up to the second floor to deposit the day’s earnings, and take a rest.
***
The door to the Golden Oaks burst open and Pinkie rushed into the room, dragging her party cannon behind her.
“Surprise!” she announced as she struck a match and lit the fuse on the cannon.
Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy all filed in and were greeted by the sight of mounds of scrolls and books strewn about.
Pinkie looked up and her face instantly morphed into worry.
“Uh oh!” she belted out as she rushed to pull the lit chord out of her cannon, and stomped on it violently. The fire was put out. Pinkie turned her vision round and round looking all about the messy foyer.
“Aw, party cannon won’t work right with all this stuff in the way,” Pinkie said dejectedly.
Applejack’s chest tightened, her face turning to a worried scowl as she looked around the room.
“Forget the cannon, Pinkie. Where’s Twi?” Applejack asked.
Pinkie continued to look around the room, her head tilted back and forth as her mind processed the situation.
“And what’s with this mess? I’d expect Twilight to be more organized,” said Rarity with a playful disdain painted on her muzzle.
The group spread out through the room, each had their heads on a swivel, looking from item to item with morbid curiosity. Not a word was shared for a long moment. Rainbow hovered over to the top of a bookshelf, and interrupted the silence with a grunt.
“I know Twilight gets all weird sometimes, but this is messy, even for her,” Rainbow said tugging at a scroll which hung from the top of the shelf before her.
The paper came loose and tumbled limply to the ground. Fluttershy carefully picked up the scroll and, against her better judgment, began reading. She had no clue what a ‘firearm’ was, but the wording made it seem very serious, even mentioning that it was important for the safety of all of Equestria.
“What made Twilight so scared?” her thoughts escaped out from her.
Her friends all crowded around her, their interest in the paper she held suddenly piqued.
“What’d you find, Fluttershy?” Applejack asked.
“I don’t know, but it sounds serious,” Fluttershy said as she hoofed the scroll over to Applejack.
Applejack wasn’t dumb but the first sentence floored her, as she got caught on word after word. Applejack looked over at Rarity and hoofed it over to her. Rarity read over the piece with a scowl, her eyes darting across the page as she absorbed the information. The writing wasn’t long, and so she finished it quickly. Rarity looked up to her friends with a slight frown.
“It sounds like Twilight is making plans to potentially get into weapons design.”
Everypony looked confused at that.
“She mentions some ‘Mary’ who has knowledge of it, and it sounds like she believes there’s a real potential Equestria could go to war in the near future.”
“Why?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“It doesn’t say,” Rarity responded.
She pointed to the bottom of the page.
“It’s scratched out, but it seems she’s…passionate about this fear.”
Applejack turned away from the group, her eyes looking over the mass of other writings.
“Well, the reason’s gotta be somewhere in this mess. Let’s look.”
Everypony spread out, scouring through the available material. Applejack stopped as a smell, the smell of a kind of desperation she knew well, intruded her nostrils. Her head whipped over to the source of the offending sensation. A collection of pillows lay bundled on the floor sitting just before a full length mirror. A frown overtook Applejack’s face as she stared deeply into the pillows. She found a collection of stains, and her suspicions were confirmed. She grimaced as the image of her friend pleasuring herself on that spot flashed into her mind.
Applejack heard hoof steps approaching, and turned to see Rarity was now beside her. Rarity’s gaze was also fixed on the pillows Applejack had been investigating, her muzzle sporting confusion in contrast to Applejack’s growing anger.
“This here…” Applejack spoke in a low tone.
“I’d expect Twi to know better than to leave something like this out.” Disappointment oozed from every word Applejack spoke.
Rarity looked to Applejack with a raised brow. Her attention turned back to the pillows. She leaned in, squinting her vision, as she peered over the details. Suddenly her eyes went wide.
“Oh. I…” Rarity chuckled.
“I didn’t actually expect Twilight to be one to partake in that kind of entertainment,” she said with a nervous smile.
“Not to be rude, but she always seemed a little preoccupied with her studies,” Rarity continued, her smile bolstering ever more proud of her attempt to lighten the mood.
Applejack stared at Rarity with a deadpan look. Rarity shied away from her, that once growing spirit flushed away.
“Yeah, well, I don’t care what Twi does in her spare time, but it shouldn’t be left out here for all to see,” Applejack struggled to keep her voice down.
Rarity brought a hoof up to cover her mouth as she coughed.
“Yes, well, it is rather uncouth,” she softly acquiesced.
Applejack turned to stare once again at the pillows. Rarity’s stomach churned. It felt like her whole body became heavier, as she watched Applejack stew in her anger. Rarity wished to Celestia she could make Applejack happy again. Her eyes flicked down to Applejack’s hooves. With a twitch, Rarity wrapped a forehoof around one of Applejack’s and lightly tugged. Applejack looked over to her, that same frown still occupying her lips.
“Darling, shouldn’t we figure out what happened? Perhaps there’s a good reason for all this,” Rarity said with a forced smile.
Applejack’s face softened as she stared into Rarity’s pleading eyes. The swelling, buzzing, anger which had been coursing through her was scrubbed away. It felt like a sponge rubbed her clean, leaving only a small pit of distress laid still in her core. Applejack nodded, and the pair walked away.
Pinkie zipped over to take Applejack and Rarity’s place as they left. She craned her head down to the collection of pillows, her brow raised and her lips slightly frowned in a display of playful interrogation. She took a sniff of the air, and her playful mood evaporated in an instant. Her eyes widened as she stared at the stain in the pillows.
Pinkie’s nose twitched, then her eyes blinked twice.
My Pinkie sense is telling me to lick it…
Pinkie’s eyes darted about the room. Nopony was looking her way. Now was her chance. Quickly she lowered her head down, and licked the stain. Her tongue was coated in the uncomfortable taste of fabric. Pinkie strained herself not to visibly recoil. The aftertaste arrived. It was familiar, yet so new. It certainly didn’t taste sweet, but that didn’t mean it tasted bad. It definitely didn’t taste good, yet it filled her with a buzz, a kick, which definitely was good. The taste fizzled away. Pinkie quickly shuffled away from the scene of the crime. Her eyes couldn’t focus on anything as her mind turned into a cacophony of competing questions. She had never gotten that close to tasting or touching the special parts of anypony.
Why did my Pinkie sense tell me to do that?
Pinkie opened a nearby door, and walked her way down the stairs just beyond. Her eyes unfocused, looking at the ground as she went. She thought and thought and thought. Again and again and again all she could think of was the moment she had licked that stain. It was as if her mind wanted her to go back and continue, or even travel back in time to the cause of those stains. Her heart fluttered in her chest, her tail flicked. She didn’t need her Pinkie sense to tell her what that meant.
Pinkie’s eyes shot wide open. She’d made her way to the basement. Twilight was just before her, singing, her eyes closed as she was fully immersed in her song. She wore a simple yellow dress, and her mane was in an unkempt ponytail. Her face was full of longing. Pinkie stood in awe as she listened. Twilight’s voice was, frankly, silly, and that was good. Twilight was being silly in the way Pinkie knew best, being unashamed in your love and excitement and freely showing it. It was a genuine showing of happiness.
For her part, Pinkie couldn’t keep her attention on what the song was actually about, something about a ‘bad boy’ and love, it sounded like a pop-song. Pinkie’s heart filled as she enjoyed this small snippet of her own private performance, staring deeply into Twilight’s expressive face. Twilight danced, her form was terrible, but that was never the point. Her eyes fluttered open as she finished part of the song. She jumped, her eyes wide as she looked at Pinkie who was right in front of her.
“Pinkie?!” Twilight said, alarmed.
Twilight felt her face grow warm at the sudden close proximity of Pinkie, just inches away. A wide smile slowly overtook Pinkie’s face.
“Welcome to Equestria, new Twilight!” Pinkie wrapped her forehooves around her.
Pinkie’s coat was incredibly soft, as if she’d just taken a shower. Twilight’s hooves glided along Pinkie’s back as she shakily brought her forehooves to return the hug. Twilight’s heart beat rapidly increased, her breathing grew heavy. She felt a hot mess of emotions swirl inside her. The feeling softened her heart. She tightened her grip around Pinkie, wanting to keep this sense of fragile elation for as long as she could. Pinkie giggled as she pushed away from the hug.
“Surprise!” Pinkie’s face beamed with joy.
“There y’are, sugarcube,” Applejack announced from atop the stairs.
Twilight and Pinkie looked up to see Applejack and Rarity already making their way down.
“Hello darling, it’s good to see you’re well,” said Rarity.
Rainbow flew through the door a second later, her gaze quickly locking on to Twilight.
“There you are, egghead!”
Fluttershy followed along soon after, and before Twilight could comprehend it, all of her friends stood before her. Pinkie had a big grin on her face, while the others all waited for whatever was next. Pinkie came to Twilight’s side to address the group.
“Okay, everypony! Today we’re here to welcome the new Twilight to Equestria! I’ve got decorations and food and games all planned out!” Pinkie’s smile grew awkward as she turned to Twilight.
“Just, uh, the room upstairs needs to be cleaned for my party cannon to work,” Pinkie sheepishly rubbed a hoof against the back of her head.
Twilight stood stunned.
“The new Twilight?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“Yes, darling, I’m confused. I thought you said we were here to welcome Twilight’s ‘new half’, as it were,” Rarity added.
Applejack stepped forward.
“Pinkie, do you know what’s going on? Is this related to all that stuff we found upstairs?”
The whole gang looked at Pinkie and Twilight with confused and worried glares.
Pinkie giggled, “I think Twilight will be better at explaining it then I could.”
Pinkie looked over at Twilight expectantly. Twilight’s eyes darted between Pinkie and the others, her jaw fell as her scrambled brain looked for words.
“I, uh,” Twilight gulped.
“Well, gosh, I wasn’t really ready to explain this to you all yet.” Her gaze turned down to the floor.
She needed a way out of this situation.
“Let’s get the party set up first, and then I can explain. It’s, uh, a bit complicated.”
Twilight sheepishly grinned, giving one final look towards the group. They all looked at her with suspicion. Twilight closed her eyes and focused on the top of the stairs. In a flash, she teleported up, and quickly left the basement.
“Wait!” Twilight shouted out from upstairs.
Twilight teleported back down to the basement, and grabbed a cup of coffee in her magic.
“Not done with you,” she addressed the mug.
Her head swiveled over to view her friends. “Did you all know I actually like coffee? Isn’t that crazy?”
Twilight took a sip of the drink, her shoulders visibly relaxing. She chuckled, looking again at the mug floating before her.
“I mean, it’s just bean water, this stuff is awful.” Her smile grew a little as she took another sip, and teleported it with her back upstairs.
The remaining group exchanged looks of confusion. Pinkie was already bouncing her way up the stairs, when a flash engulfed the foyer, the light of it pouring out through the open door. Everypony made their way up to find the room completely clean. Twilight turned to face the group, her gaze traveling over to Pinkie.
“Okay, what next?” Twilight asked.
Pinkie’s head tilted as she looked around the room.
“Well, I would say I use my party cannon, but I don’t know where it went!” she responded with worry.
Twilight looked confused for a moment before realization struck her.
“Oh, uh, let me go get that.” She chuckled nervously, putting her coffee down on the center table, as she made her way upstairs.
Her journey was halted as she saw Spike heading down. Spike’s tired face emanated waves of disdain. He looked up at Twilight.
“Hey, I was taking a nap, it’s a thing I do, and then there’s a pile of scrolls, books, and a party cannon all around me, what’s up?” Spike said.
Twilight’s faint smile degraded by the second.
“Sorry, Spike. I, uh, was just trying to clean up for our guests. And uh, I actually gotta go get that cannon real quick,” Twilight rambled as she passed Spike by.
Spike’s eyes turned over to the group of friends. He sighed in contempt of the whole situation.
“Pinkie Pie party?” He asked.
He was met with a chorus of affirmations from everypony. Spike continued his way downstairs. Twilight followed soon behind, party cannon in tow. Pinkie bounded up to meet Twilight half way and took the party cannon. Quickly it was set up, lit, and in seconds the room exploded with decorations.
White, light blue, and dark blue streamers ran from wall to wall, confetti of the same colors fell, a small colorful box labeled ‘games’ now sat in the corner, and the room suddenly smelled of lavender. At the center of it all, a banner stretched across the ceiling. It read ‘Welcome to Equestria Twilight!’, and had a depiction of her cutie mark on one side and a question mark on the other. Pinkie brought in her party wagon, which had been patiently waiting outside. The wagon was loaded with all sorts of baked goods, which quickly added their scent to the room. With a pep in her step, Pinkie came beside Twilight and looked at her with a wide smile.
“Alrighty, the party's all set up!” Pinkie bounced, looking at Twilight expectantly.
Twilight’s mouth was agape as her eyes wandered over the scene. She’d been to maybe hundreds of Pinkie’s parties, but then again she’d also never partied with Pinkie. Twilight’s heart beat heavily in her chest, her eyes fluttered as her vision blurred from welling tears. Her friends looked at her with a mix of confusion and worry, Twilight didn’t see it.
She looked to Pinkie, opening and closing her mouth, words failing to appear on her tongue, words that could express even an ounce of what she felt.
“Pinkie…”
The mare she addressed only continued to wear her ever bright smile, and as Twilight stared into Pinkie’s eyes her chest relaxed.
“It’s like this is my first Pinkie Pie party all over again, but now I’m ready for it, or at least now I want it.”
Twilight turned to address the group.
“It’s like I’m experiencing being friends with all of you for the first time as well. But now…I have an even greater appreciation for what that means,” Twilight’s speech grew uncertain.
Twilight gulped. Her eyes scanned the reactions of her friends. Applejack and Rainbow Dash wore the most concerning expressions out of the bunch, but most looked to her with growing curiosity and cautious optimism. Twilight gulped again.
“What I mean is…” Twilight tapped a hoof against the floor.
“Last night, I woke up to find that…well, I’d gained the memories of another life.” She could see the growing look of disbelief spreading across most of her friends' faces.
“I…It’s like I’ve lived two lives. Twenty three years as Twilight and Twenty five years as Mary.” Twilight took in a deep breath.
“Gosh, where do I even start?” Twilight’s eyes darted around the floor, no longer wanting to deal with how her friends were reacting.
“There’s so much I could say, it’s so complicated, and I don’t know why it happened,” Twilight’s face started to hurt with how much she was frowning.
“I…I feel like I’m only half of the friend you all know and love.”
No pony moved an inch, not a noise was made as all listened intently to Twilight’s softening speech.
“I just hope we can all still be friends.”
Twilight closed her eyes, her head, and whole body, drooping down. She felt that same smooth fur from before press into her and wrap her in comforting forehooves. She opened her eyes to see Pinkie hugging her. She could only see the side of her face in her peripheral vision. Pinkie’s small smile bore the weight of a tender compassion so rarely seen.
“I’ll always be your friend, Twilight,” Pinkie softly spoke into her ear.
Twilight shivered at the feeling of Pinkie’s breaths flowing into her. Fluttershy approached her. Her face held a soft and genuine smile. Twilight’s heart grew warm, staring into Fluttershy’s eyes.
“I don’t exactly understand, but I’ll still be your friend, Twilight,” Fluttershy affirmed, and quickly joined in to hug her.
Rainbow Dash trotted over with a look of determination.
“Hey, you say you still remember being Twilight, so that makes you still my friend in my book,” Rainbow said, joining in on the group hug.
Applejack came up next, her hat carried in a forehoof to cover her chest. Her solemn face held a small smirk.
“I can tell you’re being honest, Twi. You can count on me to stay by your side.” And so she joined in the hug.
Rarity came up last, her eyes teary, her lips couldn’t decide whether to frown or smile.
“Darling, if there’s ever anything I can do to make you feel welcomed, you let me know.”
And so with Rarity joining in, the group hug was—almost—complete. Spike stood and watched the six cuddle up. The anger in his face had long since burned away, and all that was left was a tired longing. With a deep breath, Spike clenched his jaw and came forward. Twilight noticed him, and her growing smile faded somewhat as she saw her second oldest friend, her little brother, before her looking so distraught. Spike opened his mouth to talk, but nothing came out. His eyes darted away. He searched for fears to guide him away, he searched for anywhere else he could go. His gaze returned to stare Twilight deeply in her eyes. He found where he needed to be.
Carefully Spike came up to Twilight, and hugged her. Like wringing water from a stone, Twilight’s core leached out a wellspring of hidden grief. The warmth of the hug pulsed against the growing tide of cold fear that bubbled up and submerged her whole body. She vibrated intensely, and it all came out, her eyes poured out everything that had bottled up inside her. Twilight couldn’t help but let out small moaning cries. The pressing of her friends grew tighter, and her voice died down. Her cheeks hurt from smiling.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“Thank you all so much. I don’t…” she sniffled.
She chuckled, as her smile grew more unsure.
“I don’t feel like I deserve any of you.”
Twilight felt the weight shift as somepony pulled away.
“Darling, look at me.”
She looked up to see Rarity before her. The emotions on Rarity’s face were indescribable, but immediately Twilight was filled with confidence just from peering into those eyes.
“Everypony deserves to be loved.”
All of her friends gave firm affirmations, and one by one they pulled away from the hug. Spike was the last to end the experience, and that was only after sharing a glance towards Twilight, his face shone so much brighter than it had that entire day. Not a drop of grief was left in Twilight as she looked around at her friends, her smile only grew and grew. Twilight took in a deep breath and recomposed herself.
“Yay! Oh we need sitting spots!” Pinkie said before quickly making her way upstairs.
Rainbow Dash came close to Twilight, her gaze traveled up, inspecting Twilight in detail. Her eyes focused on Twilight’s, as she gave a lighthearted snort.
“Mary huh? Is that what all that writing was about?” Rainbow ended with a chuckle.
“That’s a super Twilight way to react to something like this.”
Fluttershy came forward, her gaze moving from Rainbow over to Twilight. Her brow furrowed in worry.
“What was all that writing about? It sounded kind of scary. Is everything okay?”
Rarity joined in, “Yes darling, your ‘On Firearms’ piece has me worried. Are we in danger?”
An uncharismatic grin grew on Twilight’s muzzle.
“Oh, no we’re fine…really, we are. I just, uh, have a bit more of an appreciation for precaution, you could say.”
“Twi, you’ve always been like that,” Applejack said flatly.
Twilight’s eyes searched around for the right words.
“Yes but, well, this is all a bit unnerving. I just want to make sure everything's okay.”
Twilight’s eyes went wide.
“Oh, speaking of things I wrote, Spike, now that you’re here I need you to send a couple messages for me.”
Twilight was making her way upstairs as she finished her statement, but was stopped by Pinkie mid way up.
“Oh no no no, Twilight! The party is on, enjoy it!” Pinkie took Twilight’s hoof in her own as she pulled her back downstairs and got her seated in a pillow she’d brought down.
Twilight’s eyes darted between Pinkie and the stairs.
“But—”
“No buts. You’re the party pony, and you gotta be at the party to party, duh,” Pinkie said with a smug look.
Spike came into Twilight’s view, grabbing her attention as he looked at her with a grin.
“I’ll go find them for you, Twi. What am I looking for?” He asked.
Twilight let out a sigh.
“Two letters to Celestia, that’s all.”
Spike nodded and headed upstairs to complete his job. Twilight’s thoughts moved to Canterlot, to Princess Celestia’s chambers. She still had no clue how she’d react, what she might do, how quickly it would happen.
Will we even get to finish this party?
The pillow Twilight sat on was scratchy. She shifted. Her back felt improperly arched. She straightened out and exhaled uncomfortably. Twilight blinked, her vision shifting to the cupcake that had been placed before her by Pinkie moments ago. It remained untouched.
“Twilight, are you alright?” Rarity pulled Twilight out of her malaise.
Twilight snapped her head up to look at Rarity. Rarity—really all of her friends—looked at her with some amount of worry. Twilight shook her head.
“Yeah, just…still getting used to all this I guess. It still doesn’t seem real.” Twilight lifted a hoof up, inspecting it.
Her eyes drifted back to her friends, all of them formed a circle on the floor with her, each having been given a pillow to rest on.
“There’s just so much to talk about. I don’t even know where to start.” Twilight’s face scrunched.
“Well, how about ‘what in the hay is going on’, because that’s been my question, like, this whole time,” Rainbow said with a hint of incredulity.
Applejack rolled her eyes with a snort.
Rarity broke into the conversation, “Well, sometimes when I get overwhelmed it can help to go through things one at a time from the beginning.”
“How about you start with telling us about today, and only today?” Rarity asked, looking towards Twilight.
Twilight gulped as she nodded along. Her eyes searched the corner of her vision, as she recalled the events.
“I woke up around four in the morning. It was like I woke up from a nightmare, but I can’t remember dreaming anything.”
Twilight’s expression fell somewhat.
“I…I kind of freaked out, really badly. It took me a while to even get out of bed.”
Her head twisted from side to side, reaching for the next thing to say.
“I don’t know how to describe it. I was two beings in one. I remembered going to bed last night as Twilight, but also as Mary. Everything was like it happened just yesterday. I…my body was both new and old and…”
Twilight searched her friends' faces. Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Rarity all held soft smiles of concern. Rainbow Dash, and Applejack looked more gruff, but there was no contempt. All of her friends cared to hear more and to help her. Twilight focused herself, as she pushed her emotions away, her face dimmed its expressiveness.
“I went to my study and tried to write down my observations and feelings. Eventually I came to a sort of fragile peace. That happened when I decided something important, I decided that my name would now be Twilight Mary Sparkle.”
“Why?” Fluttershy’s question was a calm and gentle invitation to expound.
Twilight smiled.
“Because, as Twilight, I never had a middle name, and Mary was, well, Mary’s first name, and her life was just as much a part of me as Twilight’s so…It just felt fitting. Both parts of me were represented in that name.”
Twilight chuckled.
“Actually, an important thing about this whole situation is the fact that Mary always wanted to be Twilight.”
Twilight quickly interjected before anypony else could begin worrying.
“And no, Mary is not the reason any of this happened. It’s just a coincidence.”
Twilight took a deep breath.
“But because of all that, I mostly just want to be Twilight still. I want to continue to live Twilight’s life, and I have no desire at all to undo this, because that might mean Mary having to go back to her life.”
Twilight softly smiled as she finally felt herself reaching a conclusion to all this.
“So, keeping my name mostly the same with Mary mixed in as a middle name felt right. Most ponies don’t even ever tell you their middle name if they even have one.”
Twilight’s smile faded into a cringe as she felt more and more like she was leaving an important part out.
“I don’t really want to get into it, but names were really important to Mary.”
Twilight shook the line of conversation away with a hoof.
“Anyway, point is, I was a little more confident when I decided on my name, so I went down to talk with Spike who had been making some pancakes for breakfast.”
Spike calmly interrupted as he came back downstairs, “When I saw Twilight crying this morning I thought maybe some sweet food would cheer her up.”
Spike was downstairs, which meant the letters were delivered, which meant Celestia could be reading them right now. Twilight pushed her worries about Celestia out of her head.
“The food really did help. At least, I think it did,” Twilight said with a smile.
“Yeah, but then you explained to me what had happened,” Spike’s voice fell as he trailed off as he took a seat.
The room was still, too still for Pinkie. Her eyes darted between Twilight and Spike, her usually cheery demeanor had corrupted, slowly festering with her growing worry. Pinkie felt like her hair was falling out. If there was another second of silence she was going to explode.
“I guess that didn’t go down well, did it?” Applejack punctured the bubble.
Spike huffed, “Not really.”
Twilight rubbed one of her forelegs with a hoof.
“It could have gone better,” Twilight admitted.
“I didn’t know what I was supposed to say,” Twilight hurriedly added.
“It’s fine now, don’t worry about it,” Spike said.
Twilight, simply, believed in Spike’s conveyance of acceptance of the situation. With a deep breath, she relaxed her body again.
“So, after that I asked Spike if he could take care of the day’s chores, as I wasn’t sure if I was quite ready to interact with anypony.”
Rainbow Dash snorted.
“Come on, not even us? We’re your friends!” Rainbow chided.
A sprinkling of annoyance touched Twilight’s brow as she looked at Rainbow Dash.
“To half of me you aren’t my friends,” Twilight grimaced as she finished her response.
“At least that’s what it felt like. I know you all are still my friends, and I want to be friends with all of you,” Twilight continued, her voice growing quieter.
“I’m sorry,” she almost whispered.
Pinkie’s growing frown hurriedly put on a mask of a smile.
“It’s okay, Twilight…that’s what the party is for, right?” Pinkie said, her smile quickly growing in sincerity as she worked to convince herself as much as Twilight.
“You should really try that cupcake. I made it extra-special for you!”
Pinkie pointed to the cupcake still untouched in front of Twilight. Twilight nodded as she brought the pink confection up to her in her magic. Before taking a bite, Twilight looked up.
“Oh, and after Spike left I basically just spent all day writing. You all saw the result of that.”
Twilight chomped down the small cupcake in one bite. She always liked it when cupcakes were bite-size. Twilight realized that preference came from Mary. The taste hit her buds surprisingly softly, it was so very unlike Pinkie’s usual cupcakes, but it was so calming. Twilight’s eyes grew wide.
How did Pinkie know to make the cupcake this way? I didn’t even know I’d like it this way!
Twilight’s gaze traveled up to the streamers. White was Mary’s favorite color, dark blue was Twilight’s favorite, and light blue was her new favorite. The cupcake she’d just eaten was Pink, her next favorite color. Twilight stared at Pinkie, who was staring right back at her with a wide grin. Twilight gulped down her food.
I swear, Pinkie being able to break the laws of the universe is going to take getting used to all over again.
“That was…excellent, Pinkie. That was really really good!”
Pinkie bounced up, and quickly procured another cupcake of the same ilk, presenting it to Twilight.
“There’s lots more where that came from. Here! Enjoy! Enjoy!”
Twilight did so, as she pushed away her worries of Pinkie’s improbable foresight. The cupcake’s smooth taste calmed her nerves, her shoulders slouching. Pinkie’s heart let her worries finally fly away as she watched Twilight’s mood improve.
“Twilight ate the first snack! Everypony grab something and dig in!” Pinkie almost yelled.
“Finally this is starting to feel like a party instead of a funeral,” Rainbow said with a smile as she flew over to the party wagon.
Fluttershy nervously grinned at the comment, while Rarity and Applejack looked to Rainbow with raised brows. All joined in to grab a bite to eat.
“Yepperoni! I’ve got plenty of games and other fun activity ideas to show Twilight a fun time.” Pinkie said excitedly.
Twilight looked up at Pinkie with hope in her eyes.
“Games? What kind of games?” She asked.
Pinkie leaned down, and pressed her face into Twilight’s. Twilight leaned back, but Pinkie continued her advance forward. Twilight ran out of space.
“What kind of game do you want to play?” Pinkie’s eyes fluttered rapidly.
Twilight’s mind broke. Words stopped wording. She stared into Pinkie’s eyes, the blue ocean within was all Twilight could think of. She wanted to be there. Her face grew warm. Twilight felt a shock travel through her.
Right, board games, focus!
Several games flew through her mind, some from Mary’s memories and some from Twilight’s. Each game went by too fast for her to inspect with any detail, only able to glance at generalities shared between each one. Then the thought of which would be good for this party came by. The party was about getting to know Twilight.
“Um…I’d enjoy something with strategy and of middling complexity, but I don’t know if that’d fit for this kind of party,” Twilight said as she averted her gaze from Pinkie’s stare.
Applejack looked up from her slice of pie, with a raised brow.
“Now hold on, Pinkie, I know this is Twi’s party and all, but I think we all still have questions we want answered,” Applejack said as if talking down to a younger sister.
Applejack sighed, her muzzle scrunched as she turned to Twilight.
“I’m sorry if that sounds bad, but I just want to make sure you’re alright, Twi.”
Pinkie didn’t lose an ounce of joy, as she turned to address Applejack.
“That’s okay, there’s plenty of fun conversation games we can all play.”
Pinkie bounced around the circle of friends as an idea hit her.
“How about ‘two truths and a lie’!?”
Applejack nervously chuckled, “Aw, shucks, I’m bad at that one.”
Everypony laughed, as they settled into their seats. Orange and blue, the colors of Twilight’s emotions of excitation and worry commingled. They got along surprisingly well, and their energy filled Twilight. A thought would take over of how terribly this could go, and in would come the counter thought of how amazingly fun it would be, all the opportunities to see the looks of surprise and acceptance.
“Since this is all about getting to know new Twilight we’re gonna play the game a little special,” Pinkie talked to the whole group.
“We’ll go back and forth between Twilight and one of us, starting with the pony on Twilight’s left and going clockwise! So Twilight will give two truths and a lie and the pony next in line has to guess which is the lie, if they get it wrong then they have to give two truths and a lie and Twilight has to guess which is true, otherwise they get to skip having to tell their truths and lie. No matter what Twilight answers, we’ll go on to the next pony. Sound fun?”
Pinkie’s speech was fast, but most seemed to pick up on the rules.
“Okie dokie! Twilight, for the purposes of the game, only give truths and lies about Mary’s life. I mean, duh, that’s like, the whole point of the game!.” Pinkie smiled at Twilight.
Twilight, nervously grinned as she took in and let out a deep breath.
“Okay…”
Where to start?
Twilight tapped a hoof against her chin.
Twilight began, “Okay…how about. I’ve been in three relationships, I have two sisters, and…uh…”
Twilight’s eyes darted around as she stared down. She tapped a hoof against the wood floor.
“I’m an alien,” she finally added.
Everypony’s eyebrows raised at that one. Pinkie’s eyes went wide with excitement.
“Oh, that one’s a doozy,” Pinkie said, as she looked at Fluttershy, who was first in line.
“Okay, Fluttershy, now you guess the lie,” Pinkie broke Fluttershy out of her stunned state.
“Oh, um…You’re not an alien?” Fluttershy asked.
Twilight grew an almost ugly big smile.
“Nope! I only have one sister,” Twilight clapped her forehooves together.
“What?!” was the near universal response from everypony, except Spike and Pinkie.
Rainbow flew out of her chair, hovering near Twilight.
“What do you mean you’re an alien?”
Twilight recoiled from Rainbow’s derisive gaze. She straightened back up, to counter Rainbow’s attempt to arrest authority in the conversation.
“I mean, I’m not from this world, I’m probably not even from the same universe. Mary wasn’t a pony, she was a human.”
Pinkie rubbed her forehooves together, grinning widely.
“Yay! Conversation!”
“A ‘hue man’? Pardon my Prench darling, but what in Celestia’s name is that?” Rarity said before taking a sip of her punch.
Twilight looked towards rarity with an even face. Rainbow returned to her seat, though her look of suspicion remained.
“Mary is from a planet called ‘Earth’ where the only sapient race were humans,” Twilight said
She paused as her eyes focused upwards to recall, only occasionally flicking down to look at Rarity. Twilight’s posture straightened, and her grin vanished into an even thin line.
“We don’t have humans here on Equus, but we do share a lot of similar species. On Earth, humans are related to primates. So, think of a lanky and mostly hairless monkey that stands up straight like a minotaur and you’d be somewhat close to imagining a human. I say ‘mostly hairless’ because they still grow manes, males grow facial hair, and there’s still a light amount of body hair.”
Twilight chuckled as she looked down at her dress.
“That’s actually why I’m wearing this dress. Humans are never nude in public, so uh, I feel a little conflicted about doing so now. I know it’s totally normal, I mean none of you are wearing anything right now.”
“Except my hat,” Applejack added.
“Yes, but anyways.”
“Does it bother you that we aren’t wearing clothes?” Fluttershy asked.
Twilight opened her mouth to answer, but held it back. She found her initial response unsatisfactory.
“Well…not really. I am sort of used to it, but um, I wouldn’t be surprised if it caused…certain emotions in the future.” Twilight grew warm, and shook thoughts of bare mare pussy and stallion cock out of her head.
“Anyway, it’s something I’m going to have to get used to no matter what, so don’t worry about it.”
Twilight gave her best smile.
“While I’m on the topic of where I came from I might as well explain something important now.”
Twilight closed her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath.
“So, and I know this is going to sound crazy but…”
Twilight took another deep breath.
“You know how I said earlier that Mary knew of Twilight?”
Nopony moved an inch, the whole room intent to just stare her down.
“Where Mary came from, Twilight was a fictional character. All of you were fictional characters.”
It felt like the room was crushing Twilight’s wind out of her.
“Remember when we all fell into that enchanted comic, Spike?”
Twilight’s eyes pleaded for a reaction as she looked into Spike’s face. Spike nodded, as a smirk of understanding came over him.
“Yeah, I remember.”
“Imagine if it was only you that was pulled in, you became your favorite character, but you now also had all the memories of that character.”
Twilight swept her vision across the whole group.
“That’s what it’s been like for me.”
The silence was deafening. Everypony looked at Twilight like she’d just grown a second pair of wings, all except Spike who at this point found the revelation almost banal, and Pinkie who just looked happy to be there.
“Hey Fluttershy, you wanna give your two truths and a lie now?” Pinkie said, her bright attitude clashing with the rest of the room.
Fluttershy jumped at the opportunity to evade the awkward air that had developed.
“Oh, yes, um,” she said, pondering her answer.
“I feed Angel three times a day, um, I take care of a family of weasvels, and uh.”
Fluttershy blushed as she shuffled in her seat.
“I once drank three glasses of cider in an hour,” she said exceptionally quietly.
Twilight’s view was drawn to Rainbow Dash as she struggled to contain a bout of chuckling. Twilight’s initial assumption was that the final of the three statements given was false. Everything about Rainbow’s demeanor screamed that there was a joke, a prank, or a surprise in waiting for her to spring.
“Well, I was going to say you’ve never drank that much cider so quickly, but now I’m starting to think it’s one of the other two,” Twilight said.
Rainbow Dash immediately looked disappointed.
“I guess I’ll say that you only feed Angel twice a day,” Twilight said.
“What!?” Rainbow Dash blurted.
“That one was easy! Everypony knows how much Fluttershy spoils Angel, and while she used to take care of some weasvels, they moved away,” Rainbow spoke as if these were the most obvious things in the world.
Rarity chimed in, “Maybe easy for you, Darling, you’re with Fluttershy more than the rest of us.”
Rainbow rolled her eyes.
“Sure, whatever.”
Pinkie excitedly bounced in her seat.
“My turn to guess Twilight’s lie!” she said as she stared at Twilight expectantly.
Twilight tapped her forehooves against the floor.
“Uh…”
Twilight’s face went blank.
“I’ve kissed a girl before,” she started
“What’s a girl?” Pinkie immediately interjected.
“Oh, um, it’s the human equivalent for filly, but I’m using it in the same way we’d use filly to refer to either a mare or a filly,” Twilight spoke clearly.
“For completion's sake, woman equals mare, man equals stallion, girl equals filly, and boy equals colt.”
Twilight looked around the group with a smile.
“I’m sure you all probably won’t remember that right away, so feel free to ask if you get confused.”
Twilight pulled back into a more lax state.
“So anyway, I’ve kissed a girl before, I’ve…”
Twilight’s head was empty. The statements she searched for were stuck at the top of a mountain that she strained herself to climb. So far this was her least favorite part of this whole affair.
“I have a college degree, and I can do a pretty good impression of a stallion’s voice.”
Pinkie hummed and hawed for a few seconds, before returning her gaze to Twilight with a determined face.
“You don’t have a college degree!” She answered proudly.
Twilight’s eyes widened.
“Correct. I got really close to a bachelor's degree, but I dropped out.”
Rarity had to stop herself from spitting out her drink.
“Wait, Twilight, are you really saying you can sound like a stallion?” She looked at Twilight with incredulity.
Twilight sheepishly smiled, her eyes avoiding Rarity’s gaze. She chuckled.
“Well, kind of. I used to be better at it when I was just Mary. It takes a lot of muscle training that I haven’t done in this body, so I’m not very good at it yet, but I do know how to do it.”
Twilight nervously chuckled again.
“It’s also a little more difficult because it’s kind of the opposite of what I trained to do as Mary. The same principles hold, but it’s just a little weird.”
Applejack looked towards Twilight with a soft smile.
“I’m more surprised you’d kissed a mare before. That’s not something I’d see Twi doing, so it’s a bit odd knowing that now you are the kind of Twi that would.”
Twilight’s face fell, her vision turning away from everypony. This was exactly what she was afraid of. The room felt so cold.
“Twi,” Applejack spun her out of her thoughts.
Twilight looked up to Applejack to see her face soft and caring. She stared into her comforting eyes.
“I’m not saying that’s a bad thing.”
Twilight’s lungs pushed out the growing air of despair, leaving still a lingering mist within her.
“Thank you,” she said.
“Twiiiliight,” Rarity playfully stretched out the name.
Twilight looked over to see Rarity giving her a mischievous smile.
“You’re not going to just tell us you can sound like a stallion and not give us a demonstration are you?”
The weight of everypony’s eyes on her suddenly felt heavier. The show must go on. Twilight pulled on the string of joyous memories of past times of showing off her vocal skills as Mary. Twilight smiled as she dramatically straightened her posture and brought a hoof up to tap her chest a few times.
“Ah, bah, bah, bah.”
Twilight’s voice lowered with each utterance. Her throat quickly grew scratchy, she pushed against the desire to stop. Her eyelids fell as she focused. Her voice traveled around, her range felt so limited, but she pushed her larynx to stay down, and focused her speech on being less rounded.
“Testing, testing, one, two, three.”
It was like an awkward teenage colt had said those words. Twilight coughed, and her body relaxed. It felt like she would fall forward. She allowed her throat to return to normal.
“That was really hard.”
Twilight laughed, which caused her to cough again. Pinkie energetically clopped her forehooves together.
“Wow! That was awesome, Twilight!” Pinkie wriggled in her seat.
“Haha! That sounded hilarious!” Spike managed to say through his growing bout of giggling.
Rarity and Applejack’s jaws had slacked, they both worked to pull themselves out of their shock. Rainbow Dash smirked.
“Yeah, that was pretty impressive, but I can totally tell it needs work,” Rainbow said almost dismissively.
“But yeah, good job,” She added.
“It kind of scared me, it was so good. It was almost like that one time that poison joke got me,” Fluttershy giggled.
“Yes, Darling, I dare say you may have a talent you can really work at there.” Rarity’s tone overflowed with respect.
Applejack looked to Twilight with a raised brow, her voice was breathy.
“How and why’d you even learn to do something like that?”
A brick wall of deadly conversation slammed into Twilight, knocking the wind out of her. Her lungs refused to move as she stared into Applejack’s eyes. Quickly she pulled her vision away. She wanted to run. She shuffled in her seat. The binds of social rules firmly held her in place.
Oh God, can I tell them I’m trans? What should I say?
Everypony was looking at her worriedly.
Oh fuck, I’m super obviously freaking out. I have to say something right fucking now.
“Th-that’s a long story,” Twilight fumbled over her words.
Twilight’s fidgeting didn’t escape her. Her right forehoof couldn’t stop tapping against the floor.
“Um, actually…um,”
What the fuck do I do?
Eyes, eyes were on her.
“I…I should tell you something. Um, something important about Mary.”
She could feel their hooves beating against her, it was all her mind could do to think about their reaction, the way they were reacting, the way they would react to her secret. Already she felt like this whole friendship deal with any of them was a sham. They were friends with Twilight, not her, and she couldn’t fix that with a rousing game of two truths and a lie. This whole party would never work. They’d learn of her secret and hate her. She had no choice. She had to tell them.
“I just…I don’t want you to hate me because of it,” she said, her voice shaky and low.
Twilight’s breathing was heavy. She closed her eyes and focused on slowing her breathing down. She counted the seconds as she inhaled, held, then exhaled. Her friends all looked at her with concern. She focused her face to show as serious and gruff as she could manage.
“I want all of you to Pinkie Promise that you will not share what I say to anypony outside of this room.”
Everypony joined in to recite the words and do the motions of a Pinkie promise, not one was left out. Pinkie Pie in particular ran through the promise with speed, as she showed her most focused face. They all waited patiently for Twilight to continue.
“Mary wasn’t born a girl, a filly. The terminology isn’t very well known in Equestria yet, but she was transgender.”
The words clawed against her chest as she pulled them out by their tails.
“She was born under a different name, and lived as a boy…a colt, until she was around twenty four.”
Twilight looked up into the ceiling. Everything poured out of her like she was a great fountain, just a deliverer of the message.
“She always wished she could be a girl. So many restless nights hoping she could be reborn. I hated it.”
Twilight’s gaze returned to her friends. She spoke softly and carefully.
“Her parents didn’t understand. They hated her for it. But she felt so much better, I felt so much better.”
Twilight pointed a hoof to herself.
“I felt so much better.”
Twilight gave a sharp exhale, her lips curling into a weak grin.
“It’s funny, in the time and place Mary grew up in, and through luck, she was actually able to live as a girl pretty easily.”
Twilight cast her gaze across the group, staring deeply into each of them.
“I want you all to understand that. Imagine that. If you met a mare and never ever found out that they used to be a stallion. That’s what Mary lived. She’d made it.”
Twilight shook her head.
“It cost her family though, and so she had to move away, never to see them again.”
Twilight took a deep breath.
“That’s it. That’s what I had to tell you. And so that’s why I know so much about how to change my voice, because Mary learned how to perfectly, and I mean perfectly, sound like a mare.”
Twilight softly smiled. She looked at Pinkie, who was currently staring back to her with the most intense look of sympathy she’d ever seen.
“I’m sorry if this ruined the good mood,” Twilight spoke softly.
“I really do think this party was a good idea. I couldn’t hide all my secrets forever, especially not if I ever want to call any of you my friends.”
Applejack stood up and walked over to Twilight without a word. Twilight dared not look towards her.
“Twilight,” Applejack said in a gruff voice.
Twilight felt her heart pounding in her chest, as Applejack sat down next to her. She kept her head away from Applejack.
“Twilight, look at me,” Applejack said firmly.
Twilight’s head strained against her neck to turn to face Applejack. Her eyes darted from the floor to Applejack’s eyes which were laser focused on Twilight. Twilight gulped, licked her lips, and forced herself to return Applejack’s eye contact.
“Listen sugarcube, as far as I understand it, you’re half Twilight and half Mary, right?” Applejack tilted her head forward.
Twilight gave a shaky nod.
“And you said that Mary wants to be Twilight?”
Twilight once again nodded.
“Well guess what body you’re in. You’re in Twilight’s body, you’ve got all of Twilight’s memories.”
Applejack looked towards the group.
“And I think I speak for all of us when I say you’ve still got Twilight’s friends.”
Everypony gave firm voices of agreement to that. Twilight looked across the group. Each and every one of her friends showed nothing but love and kindness to her.
“Well then, Twi.”
Twilight returned her attention to Applejack.
“You’re Twilight to us, don’t matter if half of you or even all of you used to be a stallion.”
A great dam of immeasurable love flowed in and out of Twilight. Her whole body tingled, her muscles both laxed and twitched from the excitement. Applejack stood and grabbed one of Twilight’s forehooves as she pulled her into a standing hug.
“Thank you.”
Applejack pulled away from the hug and looked to Twilight with a raised brow and a smirk.
“You are sure you still got Twilight’s memories right? Because I think you’re forgetting just how much we care for you. We’re not gonna hate you over something silly like that.”
Applejack left to return to her seat.
“Now come on and enjoy the game. We ain’t here to judge.”
Twilight sat down again, and contentment fell over her like a warm blanket.
“You’re right,” Twilight said.
“Yay! We love you Twilight!” Pinkie shouted alongside the bang of a party popper she had on hoof.
Smiles overtook the room. Twilight’s forehooves excitedly tapped against the floor, her tail shook back and forth as a great joy overtook her.
She giggled, “Yay!”
Rarity chuckled, “For how much you worry that you’ve changed, it’s so very you to worry about something like this.”
Rainbow Dash snorted.
“Yeah, not gonna lie though, the idea that half of you is really a stallion is pretty weird.”
Twilight felt like a vat of acid had just been poured on her growing comfort and happiness. Fluttershy looked at Rainbow, her head tilted.
“It’s not bad though, right?”
Rainbow Dash cringed, her eyes avoiding Fluttershy’s look.
“Yeah…I guess not.”
Applejack knocked Rainbow with an elbow.
“Hey, I’m not in love with the idea either, but it ain’t like Twi’s a bad pony ‘cus of it.,” Applejack said as she glared at Rainbow Dash.
Twilight’s vision unfocused, her face now completely flat, like the light of any semblance of life or emotion had been pulled away from her.
I knew it. I knew they wouldn’t see Mary as a real girl.
“More game!?” Pinkie asked, looking at Twilight.
The floor was a more inviting sight than the ponies around Twilight. Her insides felt like they were pushing against the walls of her body, trying in vain to move her away. Done and gone, was how she wanted all of this.
“No, Pinkie,” Twilight’s quiet response was just barely heard.
“I want to get something straight,” Twilight said as she focused her attention on Rainbow Dash and Applejack.
Her head felt heavy and boiling hot. Her vision blurred.
“I’m not a stallion, I’m not half a stallion, I’m not even one percent of a stallion. I’m a mare,” she continued, her words growing sharper.
Twilight buried her head into her forehooves, as her chest groaned against the pressure within her. She couldn’t stop a flow of tears from leaking out.
“I’m sorry, just…I don’t.”
Her breathing grew heavy. She focused on not crying. Her chest grew hotter, and her muscles tensed as she thought about how stupid she was for becoming this upset. She banged her head against the floor.
“Twi, we don’t hate you for being any amount of stallion,” Applejack said.
The heated furry that was growing within Twilight suddenly redirected itself.
“I’m not a fucking stallion!”
“Twilight!” Rarity exclaimed.
“You watch your tone, missy!” Applejack’s words pierced Twilight.
Twilight’s face only buried further into her hooves. Her body writhed uncomfortably against her pillow. Her throat choked up, as she didn’t dare say another word to make things even worse.
I fucked it up, I fucked it all up.
Where she covered the floor, the place her body shadowed, was a pit and she felt herself falling into that pit, endlessly falling. There was supposed to be a spark within her, a light in this void, she frantically scanned up and down and found nothing. She thought again and again of memories of her friends, and they each and every one felt tainted, seen through a fogged glass. She’d lost them, she knew it, and so there was nothing, just the darkness, so she laid there.
Pinkie stared at Twilight. The growing voices of her friends around her echoed until they were indistinguishable. Her heartbeat was set to some indeterminable pace, not in the same timescale as everything around her. The taste of the pillow stain returned, it was only a memory, a visage of past sensations doubling over into the present, like an old friend returning from a long journey. Her fur stood on end as that past and this present came to the same place in Pinkie. There was a grand debate, the joining of the All Pinkies Congress on Twilight. Everypony filed in, their stances, their loves, their hates, all correlated into yellow stained folders of documents and written addresses and photographs they carried. A Pinkie took the stage and addressed the crowd, nopony remembers what was said, but a yell came out from the audience trying to raise a counterpoint, the assembly immediately fell into chaos. The floor was filled with clambering Pinkies, each heatedly raising her own voice, trying to argue over the growing din.
A Remembrance of a Longing Long Past came to the podium and spoke. She spoke of a feeling long ago lost which bore striking resemblance to the problems of today. The congress grew quiet at the remembrance of it. She spoke of honeyed words whispered quietly to herself alone in bed, words of hope and fear for somepony and herself. She spoke of the touch of a hoof. The specific pony these feelings were for didn’t matter anymore, she was a foal then, it was a foalish thing that had led to a foalish end. Yet she wasn’t a foal anymore, and yet these feelings returned for somepony new. The mistake of the past was to let go, never again, we will hold on to this pony! The room erupted in applause and cheer, and Pinkie was filled with a growing fire from her call to action.
Pinkie rose from her seat, and quickly took a position to shield Twilight from the others. Pinkie’s muzzle bore a smile no more as she glared at Applejack, Rainbow, and Rarity.
“Hey! If she says she’s a mare then she’s a mare! Why shouldn’t we believe that?”
“Pinkie, I’m not saying she’s not a mare now,” Applejack said, her voice lowering amidst the wall Pinkie put up.
“Then stop it. Stop hurting your friend,” Pinkie pleaded.
Twilight dragged her head out of the pit she’d pulled it down to. Everything in that room seemed a different color than she remembered it being, like it was both drained and over filled with new coats of paint. She saw Pinkie towering over her, her haunch just to her front right. Twilight’s eyes scanned over Pinkie’s familiar cutie mark. Happiness was what Pinkie had come to be a representative of. Twilight realized how long the room had been silent.
“I know you didn’t mean it to be mean, but it hurt Twilight’s feelings,” Pinkie spoke with insurmountable authority.
“And that sounds pretty mean to me.”
Twilight looked up to Pinkie as she’d turned her head to look down at her. There were no words spoken, no internal dialogue, not a coherent thought, yet so much was communicated. Pinkie and Twilight shared their thoughts in that moment. Twilight was filled with buckets of relief, a wellspring of water in the desert. Pinkie knew she’d done right, and that this time she would keep this friend. Pinkie turned back to her friends, each of them bore distinctly their shame, a resolution was in order.
“This party is to welcome Twilight with fun and games, to let her know that she can be happy and not have to worry so much.”
A small smile returned to Pinkie’s muzzle as she spoke.
“We don’t have to learn everything about Twilight right away, we can do that later. Today, let’s just have fun.”
Pinkie’s gaze returned to Twilight, her head tilting to the side.
“Does that sound okay, Twilight?” Pinkie asked in a hushed tone.
Twilight felt like a new mare. Her worries were gone, like they were never there to begin with, and she had Pinkie to thank for it. Looking up at her friend filled her with a determination previously unknown. She nodded to Pinkie.
“Yes, I like that idea a lot,” She said with a smile.
“Something with strategy and of middling complexity?” Pinkie asked.
Her words were a precise copy of what Twilight had originally asked for. The unexpected exacting memory of Pinkie’s struck a chord in Twilight and she couldn’t help but laugh, her smile growing more passionate.
“Yes, that’d be fun.”
4: Calling From a Higher Power
Celestia snapped the book closed with a thump and added it to the top of her growing tower of failed attempts to find an answer to her worry, a lick of information which may ground her issue in the known, the explored. Her head fell into her hooves, propped up against the desk she sat before. Broadly speaking, Celestia could divide every situation which fell before her into two categories: New and Old. Over the hundreds of years she’d lived and reigned, even with the changing tides of civilization, there hardly ever came up any problem that was truly a new one. Interest groups grew and waned, but the tools to put them in their proper place shifted slowly. Even after all these years the existential villainous threats that her country faced remained stagnant, their existence often as old as herself.
Her head lifted and her gaze traveled up the pile of frustration she’d worked through so far. She hadn’t had to do research on things like Discord, not like this, it was very new to her. Not that she held disdain for academia, but it was a fun hobby, not a well strengthened muscle.
This situation is much more suited to Twilight.
She cringed at the thought.
She looked out to the lifeless castle archive. The room would be deafeningly quiet if not for the window near her letting in the calm midday surrounds of the castle. One of her ears flicked. She took a deep breath. She read over Twilight’s letters again for what felt like the hundredth time.
When she’d received them, she’d excused herself from the boring meeting she was in to read them, promising she’d soon return. Once she had however, she’d told an aide to let the cabinet know she would not be returning, and that the meeting was adjourned until further notice. She had then immediately asked for a brief on the situation in Ponyville, and was still awaiting the results. Checking on Tartarus could wait for her direct oversight. She had thought to go to the castle archives and see if a phenomenon like this had happened before. Celestia had been alive for a long while, but not every single happenstance passed by her notice, so perhaps somepony else had written on the strange phenomenon.
So far her efforts were in vain. Nothing like what Twilight described could be found.
The sound of hooves against carpet was easily noticed by Celestia amidst the relative quiet. Soft Eyes, one of her intelligence officers, rounded the corner. Her gray coat, black mane, and professional demeanor betrayed the soft personality Celestia knew she had.
Soft Eyes saluted Celestia upon entering.
Celestia’s expression softened. “Hello lieutenant, do you have that brief ready?”
Soft stood at ease, and curtly nodded in response. “Yes ma’am. In short, situation is normal.”
Her lips curled into a grin. “Really not much to report, unless you want to know how ex-agent Sweetie Drop’s date is going.”
Celestia sighed in relief. At least, with this change in one of the princesses of Equestria, no immediate danger had shown itself. If Twilight’s letter was correct, there was still the threat of Tirek making a play for power.
“Thank you Soft Eyes,” she said in a soft and motherly tone.
Soft simply saluted again, and promptly left.
Celestia chuckled to herself. Finding humor in the difference in Soft’s behavior during these meetings versus otherwise gave Celestia a brief respite from her worries. She turned her attention to the nearby window as the moment’s happiness faded away. It felt like that peaceful scene outside was untouchable, being boxed in here in this dusty old archive.
It was times like this when she had to handle things alone. She was waiting to awaken Luna for if things became dire, and there was no reason to involve Cadence just yet. So much was at stake and so little was known, it was best to keep the information to as few ponies as possible. No good would come from letting the general population freak out over this. She didn’t even tell Soft Eyes exactly what had happened, only that Twilight should be a focus of her team’s reconnaissance efforts on Ponyville. So, for now she was alone in this struggle.
She meanderingly mused on the situation. One thought gave her a chuckle.
“Perhaps this is Discord’s doing. I know he’s meddled in Twilight’s affairs before to try and prove a point.”
Celestia heard the squeak of a dry-erase marker against whiteboard behind her.
Her head snapped to look at what made the noise, only to see, “Discord,” she grumbled.
“Well done Celestia, you just brought me one square closer to Bingo!” Discord merrily turned his bingo card around to face her.
She didn’t have long to study it, but clearly circled was a square reading ‘Celestia blames me’. Discord was dressed in the garbs of the stereotypical assisted living old pony, complete with wheelchair.
“The implication being that you had no part in this, I assume,” Celestia spoke with calm authority.
Discord’s getup vanished in a flash. He clasped his mismatched hands together and his face grew stoic, as a ring of gold materialized to float just above his horns.
“I swear it on my eternal life.”
Discord’s persona crumbled away as Celestia simply stared him down. His lips curled into a frown.
“Celestia, I’m serious,” He said with a sigh.
Celestia only raised a brow, still unsure of his trustworthiness.
Discord rolled his eyes and continued, “I wouldn’t do this sort of thing, because there’s an actual reason behind it, one that I don’t know of.”
His brow furrowed as he returned Celestia’s gaze.
His tone quietened, “There’s something about this whole thing that smells fishy to me, a secret fish code that I can’t figure out.”
An iota of interest showed on Celestia.
“Something that Discord, the God of chaos, finds suspicious? Do you know something about this?”
Discord turned his head away, looking off into the distance, his pose shifting to sit in mid air.
Discord sighed, “What I don’t like is how little I know.”
He grinned. “I won’t lie, I did snoop on Twilight just a little bit.”
His face instantly grew cold. “But not without good reason. I could feel something was off from miles away, and it scared me.”
A gnarled smirk cracked through his stony expression.
“I had to look, surely you understand. Don’t even bother saying you wouldn’t spy on your friends too if you thought something was wrong.”
Celestia stood from her chair, raising to meet Discord at eye level. She caught herself when she noticed the low rage that had grown in her chest. Leave it to Discord to always manage to push her buttons.
Discord’s claw tugged at his chin hair for a moment, as he pondered. His gaze returned to Celestia.
“There’s something new in Twilight.”
Celestia frowned, her heart beat grew heavy, as her attention fully locked onto Discord.
Discord’s tone grew low and deep as he continued, “Not only does she have the essence of two beings inexorably linked into a deformed mess, but they both have something new in them.”
His eyes closed as he shook his head. “I don’t know how to fully describe it.”
He perked up, his tone playful. “ However, I’ve dealt with Deities before—I mean come on, I am one—and this screams that it's some sort of pact or covenant.”
Discord once again clawed at his chin.
“The closest I can get to describing it is to say…it’s an invitation placed in her mailbox.”
Celestia’s eyes traveled down to the floor, a pit of worry dug its way into her. Her thoughts turned to what little else she knew that had come from Twilight’s letters. Mary had wanted to be Twilight. She looked back to Discord.
“Are you saying this is all the granted wish of some god we don’t know of?” she asked.
Discord rolled his eyes.
“Oh, Celestia,” he said as he brought a paw to his face.
He continued, “If that were the case, then Twilight’s essence wouldn’t have the same tie with this god. No, this is something else.”
Celestia’s eyes fell low as her attention grew inward. Many of the gods of Equus were long gone, few remained and fewer still bothered with this plane of existence. Discord was one of the last left, and the only one Celestia had ever interacted with. Really, she had no clue if there truly were any still here other than Discord. She had always viewed the last couple thousand years as being a moving away from the old gods to a world of queens and kings. Though she'd tried her best to make Equestria a shining beacon of what to have as a ruler, it’s why there were no positions higher than prince and princess. The idea that a god came along and decided to interfere with Twilight, her protege, her plan for continued prosperity…
“And after she’d been made an alicorn,” Celestia said, droplets of contempt falling from the cracks in her composure.
Discord came closer and whispered, “So you can see why I brought this to your attention.”
He moved away, and in a flash he now wore an ‘I heart Equestria’ t-shirt and various other related paraphernalia.
“Now, I’m not saying I’m the biggest fan of what you’ve done with the place since we first interacted, but since my reformation I’ve grown more fond of it. Thought it’d only be the friendly thing to do to let you know what I knew.”
Celestia looked deeply into Discord’s face. Though she didn’t trust his outward emotions to accurately convey what he truly thought, still the practice helped her focus on postulating his motivations. His ties to her reign were frail, held only by his love of Fluttershy. Often that connection was still enough, it’d brought him as far as helping her this day at least.
“I appreciate what you’ve done, Discord,” She said with a small smile.
Discord dramatically bowed, his face contorting into a wide smile, “Oh think nothing of it, dear Princess.”
Celestia couldn’t help but grin.
“Well then I’m sure you wouldn’t mind helping me in another matter,” She spoke in a playful tone.
Discord nervously chuckled, “Uh, well, for you anything.”
Me and my big mouth.
Celestia desperately held in her want to gleefully giggle at having Discord acting so knightly. Her face was wiped clean of any emotion.
“Discord, I task you with finding and capturing Tirek.”
Discord stopped himself from choking on his breath, as he stood up. His ridiculous outfit disappeared in a flash.
“Tirek? Isn’t he still trapped in that awful cage in Tartarus?”
“If Twilight’s letter is to be believed, then he’s somehow managed to escape,” she replied.
Her gaze grew heavy on Discord.
“I want this to be handled discreetly, which I know you can easily accomplish,” her words carried a weight of burden onto Discord’s shoulders.
Discord crossed his arms and pouted.
“Fine, I’ll run this little errand for you. But know that I’m only doing it for Fluttershy’s sake. Tirek doesn’t exactly make the best companion for Fluttershy and I’s regular picnics now does he?”
Celestia’s expression was calm, barely a considerable smile.
“I appreciate it all the same,” she said with a bow of her head.
Discord rolled his eyes as a suitcase appeared beside him. He picked it up, and turned to leave.
“Well, yes, if that’ll be all, I’ll be going then…have some important work to do, I suppose,” his tone conveyed his disdain.
“Good luck,” Celestia finished.
And just like that, Discord vanished, and Celestia was left alone again. She closed her eyes and took in a deep long calming breath. She only hoped she could trust Discord to end this problem quickly.
The sound of the day’s wind slowly blowing into the archives overtook her senses again, as she looked upon her pitiful showing of failed research that sat beside her desk. She realized that research from secondary and tertiary sources was not the answer, instead she’d need to go straight to the primary source. She sat again in the beautifully crafted chair, grabbing an ink quill, pen, and paper.
***
Dear Twilight Mary Sparkle,
It fills me with great relief to hear how much you hold me in high regards. It’s been my greatest pleasure to see you grow in wisdom and strength over the years, and it makes me proud to know that you’re as thankful for our time together as I have been.
I must admit that your previous letters did worry me, but only for fear of your well-being. I hope that this new change in you has not caused any issue between you and your friends, as I know how much they all mean to you.
I ask that you join me in Canterlot so that we may—as it were, I assume—meet for the first time once again. I’m very excited to see you again and learn all about the new you.
Lastly, as for matters of state, I will take no action to arrest your authority as Princess despite this development, unless new information arises which forces me to do otherwise. I believe in your reporting that you still have the memories of Twilight, and even in your new state I still feel it pragmatic to trust you in affairs fit for your position. In addition, I’ve taken heed of your warning and so have put forward the necessary precautions towards the issue of Tirek.
I hope you can write to me again soon,
P.S. Oh, but writing out the full name is so much more fun now!
***
Twilight had undone the ponytail she’d put her hair into, Pinkie wondered why, as Twilight had brushed her hair back with a hoof twenty one times since then. she used to almost never do that. Twilight sometimes looked at the game board with a blank expression, sure Twilight did used to do stuff like that from time to time, but never as often was her neutral look so frowny. Pinkie was afraid multiple times that Twilight had suddenly lost interest in the game, but whenever Twilight spoke she still seemed to be having a genuinely fun time. Each new observation filled a new file which slotted into a filing cabinet, and as the party went on she could feel the weight of her head more and more as her mind was relentlessly given new information. She couldn’t stop it, like the sink was broken and she couldn’t stop the water from flowing. It felt like she’d learned more about Twilight in a few hours than she had in the past few years they’d known each other. It didn’t make sense.
Pinkie realized she was glad about another thing this party afforded her, an opportunity to focus her attention on Twilight and not be seen as out of place. She couldn’t stop staring at her. It was annoying, she kept losing track of what was happening in the game, and every time she had to fumble her way through a turn and remember what had already happened she could feel the disappointment of Twilight weighing on her. She loved being here, she wanted Twilight to know that so badly. She’d already run dry on giving Twilight a new cupcake whenever she finished her old one, after so many times of doing that Twilight couldn’t take any more.
A raucous green flame burst from Spike’s maw, and swirled in the air to materialize into a letter which promptly fell right in the middle of the game board. Spike carefully removed the offending paper from the board state it had so rudely disturbed, and inspected it.
“It’s from Princess Celestia,” he announced with a look towards Twilight.
The air was sucked from Twilight, her frown deepening as she brought her mail over in her magic, opened it, and began reading without a word. Her friends keenly watched her pour over the message. They perked up when Twilight finally looked back up at them.
Pinkie tilted her head. “What’s it say?”
Twilight blinked a few times.
“Nothing bad, thankfully. Celestia wants to meet me in Canterlot.”
Rainbow interjected from across the board, “You make that sound like that’s not a big deal.”
Twilight nervously smiled, a gasp escaping her lungs, as she looked to the floor.
“Yeah, I guess I just don’t know what to do about it right now.”
With a deep breath she brought her eyes back up to her friends.
“I am glad that Celestia seems to be taking the news well, but I guess I’m just trying to focus on the party right now.”
Twilight took another deep breath. “I don’t want to think about it right now, but…yeah, alright.”
She got up from her seat, and began her way upstairs. A grin slowly overtook her.
“I’ll be back in just a sec,” she said with aplomb, before rounding the corner up to her room.
“You know, I’m finding it harder to tell whether that filly’s upset or not,” Applejack broke the tension which had suddenly blanketed the remaining group.
Rarity looked over to Applejack. “Considering your knack for determining those sorts of things, I’ve half the mind to say maybe Twilight doesn’t know either.”
Rainbow took the opportunity of a pause from the game to stretch her wings and get up from her seat.
“Yeah, but that’s kind of just Twilight all the time, right? No offense to her, but she’s always been a bit weird,” Rainbow’s speech was strained as she actively stretched while speaking.
“To be fair, we’re all a bit weird,” Fluttershy said with a smile.
“Yeah! Like me, I’m super weird, I mean, have you seen me!?” Pinkie excitedly said, bouncing up from her seat.
***
Dear Princess Celestia,
I am preparing at this moment to abide by your summons. I trust that lodging, food, and accommodations will be provided despite the short notice due to the occasion, and I apologize for the inconvenience that places on you and your staff.
I feel a deep need to meet you, and will be taking the first available train to Canterlot.
Don’t worry about my friends and I. Pinkie seems to have picked up the news that I’d changed from Spike, and gathered everypony to welcome me with a party. Despite some awkward bumps, it seems everypony has graciously accepted me. Truly I can think of few others who exemplify the best qualities of friendship than they, and I’m so thankful to know them.
I’m grateful for your vote of confidence as well, though I’m not still sure yet myself how much it is deserved.
I hope Tirek is well and truly taken care of. I have no plans of losing my tree home anytime soon. Sorry, I couldn’t help myself but to allude to events you don’t know of as a joke to myself. I’ll be very happy to acquaint you with what I know when we meet, and in doing so explain the reference.
Your faithful princess,
***
Rainbow Dash rounded the stairs to the second floor, her view momentarily blocked from both the first and second floor as she passed through what was essentially a hallway for just the stairs—and the small bathroom off to the side. While Twilight said she’d return soon, the window of time to ‘return soon’ had long since passed in Rainbow’s eyes, and so she had resolved to check up on her.
As she came up to the second floor, she stopped herself from announcing her entrance as she saw Twilight standing and walking around on her hind legs. Twilight sorted through a collection of books before her in her magic.
“Well, I’m not sure if this one really focuses on the area of geology I’m interested in…” she said to herself.
She floated a few back into their spots in the bookshelves as she shuffled over to another section…still walking while rearing on her hind legs.
“Hmm…Well, maybe we should take the general chemical reactions book anyway, might as well cover the basics.”
Rainbow Dash watched the interaction Twilight was having with herself with a raised brow.
“Uh, Twilight, what’re you doing?” Rainbow said, as she came further into the room.
Twilight jumped, her head swishing between Rainbow and her books. Rainbow had to crane her head upwards to look her in the eyes.
“Oh, uh, hey Rainbow. Sorry I was…” Twilight’s voice petered off.
She quickly laid out the books she had been perusing on the floor, her hoof pointing to each as she sorted them into piles.
“Sorry I’m taking so long,” she continued, her gaze never falling towards Rainbow as she eyed the piles she’d made.
Rainbow’s head twisted away from Twilight, side-eyeing the peculiar display.
“No, I mean why are you standing like that?” Rainbow said, pointing a hoof to Twilight.
Twilight looked down, her stomach churned as a sudden feeling of imbalance, like a sea-sickness, came over her. She fell forward onto all four hooves, as her breathing grew heavier. She shook her head looking up to Rainbow with wide eyes.
“I don’t know.” Twilight said as her head twisted from side to side.
Her posture straightened up as she turned to face the bookshelf.
“Oh! I guess because I was trying to reach for something high up, I must have just…stood up. Like a human. Weird.”
As quickly as she had become interested in the discovery, she suddenly returned to her work. Rainbow Dash sighed.
“Okay so what have you been doing this whole time?” Her question caused Twilight to jolt.
Rainbow’s tone deteriorated. “You said you’d be back soon, and it’s a lot later than soon.”
Twilight put a hoof to her temple as she stopped her movements, her attention finally turning to Rainbow Dash.
“To uh, I gotta go to Canterlot, and it’s important so I might as well go as soon as I can,” Twilight said.
Her vision turned away from Rainbow again to dart from place to place in the room, her thoughts preoccupied with thinking of what to pack.
Rainbow hated when Twilight was like this. She hated having to figure out the impossible riddle of a mind that mare had. And now, what, two minds, double riddle? If Twilight couldn’t communicate, then Rainbow couldn’t help, probably because there was nothing she could do. Really, what could she do to make up for today? How could she make up for Twilight waking up with new memories and friends that didn’t understand her? How could she make up for denying Twilight’s own identity? It pissed her off, not because she hated Twilight, but because she hated this situation.
I’m too dumb to fix this, but I’m going to be there to fix it.
Nothing good ever came from giving up on her friends, that much she knew. Rainbow Dash shrugged.
“Alright, I’m coming too then,” she said with a look of determination.
Twilight froze in place. “What?”
Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Don’t act surprised. Not letting you go alone on this, so don’t leave without me.”
Dash turned away. “I’m gonna go grab some stuff, be back in a jiffy.”
Twilight could only stare at Rainbow as she watched her round her way down the stairs. The feelings of trepidation and relief bounced her from side to side, though she stood completely still.
“Thank you?” Twilight hesitantly called out as Rainbow left.
***
Everypony’s eyes were on Rainbow Dash as she rounded the steps back down to the first floor.
“Sooooo, how’s Twilight?” Pinkie asked with a big grin.
Spike watched Rainbow closely, his frown growing as he studied her mood. Rainbow’s strides were quick as she came up to the group.
Spike raised a claw, as he hesitated to ask, “She’s not upset is she?”
Rainbow kept her vision focused ahead of her as she answered, “She’s heading to Canterlot, and the least I can do for her is stay with her.”
Rainbow’s expression was flat, her tone calm, as she passed by the group heading to the front door.
“I’m gonna go grab some stuff, I’ll be back,” she said, making her way out and closing the door before anypony could stop her.
Applejack stomped a hoof at the ground, raising up off the floor.
“Consarn that filly! Can’t she ever slow down for just one second to explain herself?”
Fluttershy looked wistfully at the front door.
“She’s probably upset at how we’ve been treating Twilight, including herself, and she feels like she has to make it up to her.”
Fluttershy’s sudden open pouring of her interpretation caught the attention of everypony as they carefully watched her. Her body was tucked into itself on the floor, her head craned over towards the front door, the only part of her not squeezed in tightly. Fluttershy didn’t notice the sudden attention as her mind pulled her into her own space, alone. Her body was near motionless. The moving of her throat, her lungs, her mouth to form the words felt automatic, uncontrollable.
“Knowing her, just staying by Twilight’s side is the only way she knows how to show she’s her friend.”
It was as if Fluttershy’s heart was trying to crawl out of her eyes, out through her words, and out that door to go see Rainbow again. A small smile crept up through the pain that was shown.
“It’s why her spending time with me is so special, even if it’s doing something I don’t really care about, because I know it’s her way of saying she cares.”
The room was dead silent for a moment. Pinkie jumped up, her smile having not faded one iota.
“Well then I’m gonna go get ready too!” Pinkie announced, as she bounced her way out the front door.
Nopony contested her. Fluttershy slowly unfurled herself, as a smile took over her features. She turned her head over, finally looking at her friends.
“Let’s go ask Twilight if she wants us to come with her,” she said with a still growing smile.
She added, “I can’t leave Ponyville on short notice that easily, but I’ll do it if she really needs me to.”
To Applejack, Rarity, and Spike it was as if the chains that bound them to a path of confusion and bad intentions just a moment ago were suddenly broken by Fluttershy. The look of soft hearted determination spread to her audience, as they all rose as one to join her, nodding along to her request. The group made their way upstairs without another word. Once upstairs, they were greeted by the sight of Twilight ramming items into a saddle-bag. Hearing the group enter the room, Twilight looked up from her work, her head shrinking back, her eyes nervously flicking from her friends and the floor.
“Sorry I’m taking so long,” she said as her movements then quickened to pack a bag of toiletries.
Applejack gave a light chuckle, as the group came closer.
“Don’t you worry about that, Twi. We’re just here to see if you wanted us to come with you.”
Twilight stopped in place, her head lifting to view her friends. Her gaze traveled over all of them, reading their faces, they were serious. Her lungs felt freer to breathe than just a moment ago, but just as quickly a new weight came over her.
“I don’t want to impose,” she said in a soft, unsure tone.
“Impose? Darling, we want to be there for you if it’s important,” Rarity said with a smile.
Twilight sighed, her thoughts felt like they lagged behind this conversation.
“Well, I just don’t know if it is important. I think I’ll be fine,” she said with a shrug.
A smile touched her lips as she realized, “I’m fine. I’ve already got Dash to make sure nothing crazy happens, and that’s really all I need. Though I do appreciate the offer.”
Her smile only brightened, her posture straightening as she looked towards her friends.
“You’re more than welcome to come, but you don’t have to,” she finished with.
Spike came forward with a smirk. “Not just Dash, Pinkie just left to get ready to go, and I’m coming too.”
Twilight’s face felt brighter, she couldn’t help but smile wider at the thought of Pinkie joining along, seeing the ever jubilant pony clash with the overly pompous demeanor of Canterlot was always a sight. Twilight’s expression flushed somewhat as she quickly rose, grabbing a letter and writing equipment.
“Speaking of, I need to let Celestia know about the extra guests.”
Before she touched the quill to paper she turned to her friends.
“So, uh, last chance to let me know if you’re coming or not. I’ll be fine without,” she said.
Fluttershy returned Twilight’s nervous look with a smile.
“If you say you’ll be fine, then I’ll be staying here,” she finished with a chuckle.
Applejack took a step forward as a sheepish grin came upon her.
“Yeah, I’d love to come if’n you really needed me, but gotta look after the farm you know?”
Rarity relaxed her shoulders as she too couldn’t help but smile at this resolution.
“Yes, darling, as always we’re here if you need us. Feel free to telegram if something urgent comes up.”
Twilight put down her utensils and turned to face her friends with a renewed energy.
“Thank you all for coming today. I know it wasn’t the best, but I appreciate it all the same,” she said.
Fluttershy came up to Twilight and brought her into a hug, which Twilight readily accepted.
Gosh, I forgot how much my friends and I hug! It’s so nice. Mary only ever got this much love from her parents before…
Twilight’s body warmed with the love from her friends, as she was released from Fluttershy’s grasp but then immediately traded hugs with Rarity and then Applejack.
Applejack turned to leave. “Thanks for having us, Twi.”
Rarity soon followed. “Yes thank you. I’m glad to know your ‘new half’ a bit better now.”
Fluttershy, came up and gave Twilight another quick hug, before leaving without a word.
Twilight felt her chest grow lighter, like helium wanted to drag it up into the air. She joyfully snorted as she turned to finish her letter before having Spike send it off.
***
P.S. It seems Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Spike will be joining me. I apologize for the inconvenience.
***
It was hot outside. She’d planned for this, having changed out of her yellow dress and into a short blue skirt—which felt scarily revealing—but still it was hot. Her only saving grace was that the train station she was going to was covered, probably for exactly these sorts of Ponyville summer days. Her hair matted uncomfortably against her coat, and her heavy bags weighed her down into the scorching gravel road. This was once a dirt road, now replaced with the ‘easier on tires’ but ‘hotter when sun is applied’ gravel. Here too, she thought, automobiles have begun their tiresome journey to degrade the walkability of population centers. She pulled out a hair tie and brought her mane into a quick and dirty ponytail, and sighed as the morsel of relief hit her.
Rainbow Dash watched Twilight come up to the gate of the station with a smirk.
“There you are. Was beginning to wonder if you’d changed your mind,” she said, looking eager to go.
“Nope, I’m here,” Twilight responded with a weak grin, pushing away her exhaustion.
“Good, I already bought three tickets on the next train, wouldn’t want it to go to waste.”
Twilight perked up at the mention of three tickets.
“Yeah, Pinkie told me she was coming,” Rainbow Dash said with a dismissive wave of her hoof.
She chuckled, shaking her head, “I don’t know how that mare manages to run so fast.”
Twilight could only smile along at the thought of Pinkie speeding around Ponyville.
She gave Rainbow a smirk. “Thanks for getting tickets for us, but we’re gonna need another one for Spike as well.”
Rainbow looked to Twilight’s sides with a raised brow. “But he’s not here.”
Twilight shook her head. “He’s cleaning up the party that was, well, kind of just left behind, but he’ll be here.”
The sound of hoof sliding against gravel suddenly accosted Twilights ears as Pinkie came to a quick stop right beside her.
“Sorry about that, Twilight! I’ll go help him!” she happily said.
And before anypony could fully process that Pinkie had arrived, she was gone, heading to the Golden Oaks. Twilight looked to Rainbow with confusion, who responded with a blithe look of ‘whatever let’s get going’. And so the two came up to the ticket booth.
“Need one more ticket for a minor,” Rainbow announced to the stallion behind the glass.
He put down his book, looking up to Rainbow, his face bore zero mention of enjoyment of his situation in the cramped hot room. His torture relieved only by a small and noisy electric fan blowing directly at him.
“Three bits,” the words flew from his muzzle as if they were as much burning on his tongue as he was in that room.
He caught the vision of Twilight in his periphery, and straightened up suddenly, a smile erupting unexpectedly from what was once barren ground.
“Hey Twilight. Thanks again for recommending this book to me. Cherry Blossom’s imagery has been like a glass of cold water to me.”
He brought the book up as he spoke, his tone conveying his unending flow of uncontaminated adoration for Twilight’s deed. Twilight couldn’t remember the pony’s name, but he did seem familiar.
I think I remember him, but…why is this so difficult? I’m usually not this bad at recognizing ponies.
“Uh, yeah, you’re welcome,” she politely responded with only a massive heaping of awkwardness.
“Hope you enjoy your trip!” He said, having not picked up on her foible.
Once again Pinkie’s, regrettably loud, ability to stop on a dime filled Twilight’s ears as the mare in question appeared before them.
“Hi Twilight, hi Rainbow Dash. Spike said he’ll be here in a minute, but I’m here first which means I win.”
Twilight felt she could just barely excuse Pinkie’s ability to travel to her house and back so quickly since, to be fair, it was right next to the train station, but still it was a little unnerving. She’d gotten used to thinking of Pinkie as different, but now that carried connotations of being a cartoon character and the fourth wall breaking implications about the world she lived in.
“Hey, party’s basically all here, let’s get out of this heat,” Rainbow said, turning to enter the station.
Pinkie and Twilight followed behind, as they came to the covered platform. Twilight breathed a sigh of relief at finally getting out of the blazing sun. Pinkie kept beside and slightly behind Twilight, glancing at her as they walked. Her eyes were drawn to Twilight’s skirt, its blue hue fit well on Twilight’s lavender body, and it even had a white stripe all the way around the edge. It made her giddy just looking at it.
“Oooh, cute skirt Twilight,” Pinkie had to compliment.
Twilight was already so heated that her face couldn't blush as much as merely add to the already intense flush on her cheeks, but her heart still felt a little lighter when she heard Pinkie’s praise.
“Oh, thanks. I, uh, mostly chose it because of how hot it is right now, but honestly it’s still weird wearing such a short skirt with nothing underneath,” she replied.
“Why’s that weird?” Pinkie said, looking right into Twilight’s eyes with her ever unchanging grin.
Twilight turned to look at Pinkie with a raised brow.
“Didn’t I already tell you all about how Mary was used to always wearing clothes?”
Pinkie excitedly nodded. “Uh huh, but you’re wearing clothes, so what’s the deal?”
Twilight lifted her head up, her eyes searching the corner of her vision for an explanation that would satisfy.
“Well, the thing is when I searched my closet I realized I don’t have any…underwear,” she hesitated on the last word as she realized the significance of it in pony society.
Pinkie tilted her head. “Lots of ponies don’t own any underwear.”
Twilight’s eyes darted from Pinkie to the floor. “Yes, but where Mary was from things were different.”
She took a deep breath, her resolve pooling in from the new air in her lungs.
“On Earth underwear is always worn to cover the genitalia in order to keep modesty, but on Equus that’s not the case, instead being lumped in with lingerie as being a risqué article of clothing,” she kept her eyes on Pinkie as she spoke, Pinkie simply happily staring back at Twilight.
Rainbow Dash snorted at that. “What, so are we not dressing modest to you right now?”
Twilight looked to Rainbow, who wore nothing but a saddle bag.
“I mean, yes, but also no,” she said, herself unsure.
Twilight shrugged as she continued, “Half of my memories are of me being completely used to nudity, while the other half aren’t. I could easily adjust again, and as long as I’m not actively seeing your genitals it’s not like I’m going to feel particularly weird looking at you.”
“Arousal being the main emotion that could occur,” she added with a whisper.
Pinkie perked up as a revelation took her.
“Oh, so does that mean that just this gets you excited?” she said, twirling around in place to have her rear facing Twilight, her head craning over to look back and watch her reaction.
Pinkie’s pussy was right in front of Twilight, in public. Twilight’s eyes flickered all around Pinkie’s rear, occasionally turning away to look at something innocuous like Pinkie’s tail, but still the main prize kept pulling her vision in. In reality she’d seen Pinkie’s vagina countless times, never for very long nor really did she ever particularly pay it much attention, but now it was like a honey pot that beckoned her in. Twilight’s hooves sporadically tapped against the wood floor, as her breathing grew heavy, her mouth twisted into a crazed nervous smile.
Rainbow Dash tried to hold her snorting chuckling in with a hoof, but she simply couldn’t contain it.
“Stop it, Pinkie, you’re gonna throw her into heat or something,” she managed to say through her growing laughter.
Pinkie lowered her tail to cover herself, her cheery smile turned weary.
“Oops, sorry,” she said with a nervous laugh.
“It’s okay,” Twilight said after a second to recompose herself.
Rainbow Dash came over to Twilight and put an arm around her, still whittling down her laughter.
“I think I like new Twi acting like a teen colt whenever she sees flank,” she only threw herself into another round of laughs when she said that line.
Pinkie giggled along with Rainbow until she looked over to Twilight, only to see her looking flushed, if not also a little frustrated. Pinkie’s smile turned into a sheepish grin.
“Yeah, it is a little funny, but it’s not like it’s Twilight’s fault,” Pinkie offered.
“Oh it’s not a little funny, it’s hilarious,” Rainbow wiped a tear that was forming as she tried to calm down again.
“What’s hilarious?” Spike innocently asked.
“Nothing!” Rainbow said as she jumped into flight.
Silence fell over the group. Spike looked around at each of the three mares with slight confusion and he was offered no response. He came up to Twilight, who simply gave him a small smile and a brief hug before turning her attention away to stare out at the scenery.
Twilight listened to the summer cicadas sing their song, so longingly pulling her to memories of summers past, both as Twilight and as Mary. She thought about how their call was different then what Mary had grown up with, which was sad, but it was what Twilight grew up with, which was nice. Spike looked around at the zoned out Twilight, nervously grinning Pinkie, and strangely standoffish Rainbow with confused worry, but nothing came to mind as to what to do or say about any of it.
The whistle of the approaching train knocked everypony out of their strange moods.
***
Twilight, Pinkie, Rainbow, and Spike lounged in the spacious private room they’d been given. Given, because, although Rainbow Dash had paid for normal seating, the conductor had bumped them up to the highest class room when he learned Princess Twilight was a passenger. Twilight appreciated the gesture, but she still couldn’t help but feel unease from being treated as the royalty she now was. While the extra privacy of a private room was nice, she certainly wouldn’t be needing many of the amenities here. The trip wasn’t long enough to warrant use of the two beds for instance. Pinkie had certainly enjoyed bouncing gleefully on both them when they all first entered, but now Rainbow and Spike were lazing about on them. Twilight was seated at one of the two chairs around a small table near the window, the window she was currently staring out of with a quiet fervor.
Twilight couldn’t believe how picturesque her country was. It was unnerving how every branch felt manicured and polished. She stared at the far off trees, the ones not moving by so quick as to become blurs, and relief came whenever she could point out details of unevenness or a slight kilter to each figure. But that initial at a glance feeling that everything was finely combed still made her feel heavy in the plush chair she sat in. The rhythmic hum and buckle of the train reminded her of the white noise she’d so often played on her phone to bring herself to sleep. It was a strange feeling, that she couldn’t just reach into a pocket and have access to games, videos, music, books, and more at her fingertips. At least she brought reading material in the form of good old fashioned hard backs, though all of it was non-fiction. She hadn’t planned for fun on this trip, this was a trip for business and she packed for it.
Ever since this morning she’d set her sights on a goal, and darn it she was going to at least work towards something to sooth her general unease, that goal was creating smokeless powder. And so, she packed books on chemistry, geology, and one very dubiously useful book on Griffon warfare. She couldn’t fault most ponies for having little interest in the affairs of war, it was still something that made her feel wrong. She knew where it came from, but that didn’t help much.
Pinkie felt on the end of a chain, the way she stared at Twilight across the room as Twilight stared out the window. Rainbow Dash was now rereading another of Daring Do’s books after Pinkie and her had finished a game of eye-spy, and Spike was pouring over a newspaper, and so Pinkie was devoid of her previous outlets for her energy. But somehow, as soon as she’d turned her gaze over to Twilight it was as if all that energy kept pouring out, yet she moved so little. She could just sit and stare at Twilight and feel satisfied. Maybe it was because of how quickly her thoughts seemed to move, when she looked at her, like their movement sucked away all the energy her body would otherwise be expelling. She invariably found herself literally drawn towards her, Pinkie’s hoofsteps quietly falling on the carpeted floor as she came near to Twilight.
Twilight felt like somepony was behind her and her eyes flickered back to see that Pinkie was, in fact, behind her, her attention focused straight towards her. Twilight turned to face her, and immediately Pinkie’s bright smile radiated outward, coating her in a blanket of warmth. She couldn’t help but smile too.
“Thanks for coming, Pinkie. Thanks for the party too,” Twilight said.
She continued with a chuckle, “I’m feeling a bit better about all of this. But I guess you are the one to go to help ponies feel welcomed, so that makes sense.”
“Of course, nothing less for my bestest friend.”
Twilight tilted her head at that. “Bestest friend?”
She wanted to hit herself for saying that, and immediately interrupted Pinkie’s response with a hoof to her mouth.
“Wait, nevermind, you’re Pinkie, of course almost everypony is your bestest friend.”
Pinkie’s eyes lidded and her smile faltered, as Twilight’s hoof left her muzzle.
Pinkie tilted her head. “But I really mean it. I know I can’t be bestest friends with everypony, and you are one of my few bestest friends, along with our group.”
Pinkie stealthily darted her eyes right and left, before leaning close to Twilight, her hoof attempting to block her voice from leaving Twilight’s ear.
“You’re actually one of my bestest-estest friends, but don’t tell anypony,” she whispered before casually backing away, satisfied that the misunderstanding was cleared up.
Twilight’s heart skipped a beat, her mouth feeling suddenly stripped of power to speak for a moment. She watched as Pinkie simply stood and looked at her with her ever happy grin. Twilight thought she saw something in that expression, that maybe it was more than just her baseline merriment.
Twilight spoke softly, “Even amongst the other bearers?”
Pinkie hummed a yes, as she nodded.
Twilight thought back on all her experiences with Pinkie. From beginning to end, there was little she could see that went much further than how Pinkie treated just about any other pony. And Twilight hadn’t exactly been a great friend to Pinkie. Sure she enjoyed her parties and her antics were sometimes enjoyable, but she’d been—out of everypony—one of the ones most negative to Pinkie whenever she acted, well, like Pinkie. The thought of it made her die a little inside. As Twilight before it never seemed too bad, and Pinkie always recovered from her bereavement. As Mary, well, it was a television show, of course friends would get in big disagreements so they could make up in the end. But Twilight was living it now, with Mary’s perspective, with her new mind, her new way of dealing with things mixed in with hers.
“Pinkie…” Twilight said softly, her expression having fallen in her time thinking.
“I know this will sound weird, but I want to apologize for how I’ve treated you in the past,” she finished with a chuckle as the ridiculousness of the situation caught up to her.
It managed to bring a curl of a smile to the edges of her lips.
“I’m literally a different person now—er pony, I mean,” she said with a shake of her head.
“Anyway, point is I don’t agree with how mean I’ve been to you in the past, and I hope to not repeat those mistakes.”
Pinkie’s smile softened.
“It’s okay, Twilight. Like you said, that’s all in the past. And I know you are always able to push past those kinds of things, it’s why I trust you so much.”
Twilight shook her head. “It still wasn’t right of me. You’re the element of laughter for goodness sake…so, thinking back on all the times I made you sad…I hate it.”
Pinkie leaned forward, her smile doubling.
“Well, then cheer up, because you know my favorite thing in the world is to see my friends smile.”
Twilight’s heart doubled in size as the most cheerful pony in the world poured her spirit out onto her. With a sigh she laid back into her chair, closing her eyes as she let the warm feeling trickle down through her body. The tenseness of her muscles slowly faded to the beat of the buckling of the train, and surely enough a wide smile overtook her face. Pinkie giggled as she brought a hoof up and playfully ruffled Twilight’s hair.
“Oh, Twilight, you’re so silly,” Pinkie said, her smile impeccable.
Pinkie sat down on the chair opposite Twilight, bouncy as ever as she stared at Twilight with her big grin. Twilight couldn’t decide whether to feel complimented or upset.
“What do you mean?” asked Twilight.
Pinkie took in a breath, ready to answer, but paused as no words came to her. For a moment she was overtaken by that confusion, but she quickly drove it away.
“I don’t know, you just are,” she said, her smile seeping with satisfaction at her answer to Twilight’s question.
Pinkie gasped in excitement. “Hey, want to play a game?”
Twilight’s grin faltered.
If only I did…
“Not really? Do you mind if I just relax here for the ride?” Twilight responded after a moment of pause.
“Of course, Twilight! You gotta get your rest. It’s all good ,” Pinkie said with a smile, stretching out her words for emphasis.
Twilight turned her attention back to the window as she allowed herself to slouch once again into the cushy chair. Pinkie stayed seated as Twilight relaxed, her eyes unable to choose between looking out the window or at Twilight. Twilight never seemed to mind her staring, only ever occasionally glancing over at her to share a brief smile. Pinkie did her best to stay cool and calm, which to her surprise was very easy. For once, she decided not to worry about it, and just like that, it was as if the ambience around her slowly overtook her mind. The empty space, now left clear of thoughts, was filled by the noise. It was a sensation she knew well, and it comforted her through much of the journey.
***
The mountain sides of Canterlot rushed by the window. Pinkie looked again to Twilight, and her thoughts crept back to the forefront as she noticed a spark in Twilight’s eyes. Pinkie’s mind slowly picked up speed, brushing apart the cobwebs that had started to form from her relaxation. Twilight was deep in thought. Pinkie observed her, looking for clues as to Twilight’s disposition. Indeed it was as obvious as the daylight outside that Twilight, her shoulders slumped and her posture calm, was still churning out something in her head. Pinkie was stunned, though only for a moment. She realized, this was Twilight Sparkle, of course a smarty pants like her would always be thinking! Pinkie recalled her time relaxing during this trip, she even slept for a short portion of it, yet whenever she thought back on Twilight—Pinkie only realized now—she had always been deep in thought!
***
The journey to the castle filled Twilight with wonder. Canterlot was a great sight to behold, and yet now as she stood before the gates, it felt like it was just another Tuesday. She wondered where the time had gone, and if there had been anything interesting. It had all just happened, and yes Pinkie was her jubilant self, and yes Dash was ever tomboyish, it just…was normal, not noteworthy. She couldn’t help but feel cheated out of memorable experiences.
One of the guards by the gate came to a salute as soon as she spotted Twilight.
“Come on through, princess,” she quickly said, and the other guard unlocked the gate.
Twilight’s movement slowed, a weight of guilt dragging her hooves. She felt unworthy of the title, the privilege to go where she pleased with such ease. There was nothing to ease her, nor fanfare to cause her to release all of her tension in a burst of frayed nerves, instead it was a quiet evening. The sun was low in the sky, casting the pristine white marble halls of the castle in a glow which only made it all feel more empty. Like looking into a freshly packed up room before you move out, yet here it was a home to many, including her mentor.
The doors to the throne room opened with ease and an awe inspiring grace that yet failed to impart that inspiration in Twilight. Celestia stood in the middle of the room, turning her attention away from her aide—with whom Twilight was only somewhat familiar—and towards Twilight and her friends. A smile graced her face.
“Hello Twilight, it is so good to see you. Hello as well, Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, Spike,” she said with a tone that filled the room as much as it was soft and careful.
Celestia canted her head to the side, raising a brow, “Or are re-introductions in order?”
Twilight and her friends continued their way into the room, and Celestia’s aide quietly excused herself. Twilight observed Celestia closely, as she did her. She felt Celestia’s eyes travel over her, it was a gentle, yet not wholly welcome, weight. Something about Twilight’s appearance was intriguing to Celestia, but what was unknown to Twilight.
“I-I mean not really? Not in that sort of way anyway, just uh…hi,” Twilight responded with a croaky voice.
Celestia smiled. “Twilight, I’m surprised at how shy you are acting.”
Twilight took in Celestia’s appearance, she felt like a home-away-from-home, though not in the same way, it never was like that, she was her mentor after all. It was very much how she remembered her. Not home in the way a lover, or even truly a mother was, but as a careful teacher.
A smile broke Twilight’s lips. “Well, I wouldn’t say I feel too shy around you right now, more…uh, worried.”
Celestia kept an even expression. “Don’t be. I’ll be happy to hear everything you have to tell me. How about we talk over dinner?”
“Okay!” Pinkie chimed in.
Celestia turned towards the hallways, and Twilight and company joined her in the short journey to the dining room. There was fullness and liveliness to the hallways now. The warmth of the setting sun seeped into Twilight’s coat. Twilight watched Celestia as she guided them through the long passage ways of the castle. In her wandering of thought, her pace slowed slightly and suddenly her eyes were drawn to a visage which had revealed itself through the changing of her angle to Celestia.
Celestia’s genitalia on display without pomp or circumstance. Really the whole affair drew little out of Twilight, like walking past a nice painting in the residence of a distant friend. Sure, it was something to be revered on a good day, something at least to spend your time craning your head to look at as you went by, but nothing to heave and ho about.
At least that’s how it felt until Twilight’s tail flicked. Quickly she averted her gaze, hoping this whole situation could be ignored and buried. Her eyes darted about her friends to find among them not a single hint that anything untoward had happened.
“So, Twilight, how are you feeling?” Celestia pierced the silence.
Twilight shot her head forward, as she allowed the sudden question to rip her away from what had previously been a situation of developing horror back to the banality of small talk.
“Fine? Like a lot has happened today, but fine. I still can’t believe it’s just been one day, it feels like it’s been so long,” she finally responded.
Rainbow snorted, “Well you did cover that entire room in weird rambling stuff you wrote, and then had a party, and now we’re here.”
“That doesn’t seem like a lot to me,” Pinkie said with a blithe smile.
“It may seem that way to you, but you all haven’t experienced it the same way Twilight has,” Celestia said.
“And she hasn’t experienced what we’ve been through today either,” Spike added in a low tone.
Nopony had a response for that, certainly not Twilight who felt a pang of guilt from having to drag all her friends through seeing her change so suddenly.
The doors to the dining room opened, and the group quickly became acquainted with their seats. The table was a fine dark wood, as were the chairs. Each seat the group took were ones which had been prepped with the appropriate cutlery ahead of time, while the rest of the table laid bare. All were centered around one end of the table, and Celestia was quick to guide Twilight to the head position of the table. From this vantage point she could easily see everypony else, and everypony else her. It felt strange, being in this seat while Celestia was here, she felt her and Celestia should be swapped around, yet she understood why it was this way. Celestia sat to her left, while her friends were seated to her right. Despite everything, this minutia of well coordinated seating arrangements imparted a joyous feeling of completion.
Twilight looked down at the table to see a menu before her. Opening it, her eyes moved from item to item with intent.
“I decided it would be best to not assume anything when it came to this dinner, so please feel free to order anything,” Celestia said.
Spike opened his menu with a raised brow. “Normally when we come here we’re just served stuff you know we like, where’d this menu come from?”
“Canterlot castle will often entertain guests from all over the world, so we keep prepared for any appetite,” Celestia responded.
Twilight’s eyes fell on the ham sandwich she’d found in a later part of the menu, really the whole page was filled with different meals befitting a more carnivorous diet. ‘Eastern Delicacies’ the page was titled. Maybe some of the very hogs that Applejack kept were here somewhere chopped up and locked in a freezer. But even that odious image in her mind couldn’t help her from feeling a need for meat after an entire day of nothing but sweets. Pancakes and cupcakes was all that had gone through her today, and her body ached for something to offset it. She flipped back to the salads, hoping to find respite in the idea of washing away her overly sweetened system with some greens. She searched and searched the list, but she just couldn’t find what she was looking for. There was something on the tip of her tongue she just couldn’t remember, but the taste floated along in her mind, tempting her to find and order it.
“You gonna order something, Twilight?” Rainbow’s remark blasted Twilight out of her focus.
A waiter, whom she had no idea had appeared, was beside her watching and listening for an order. She looked to the rest of the table to see everypony else already had their menus taken away, they’d made their orders. She was tardy.
“Oh, um,” Twilight hesitated, hoping she could find that blasted meal that was just inches away from her voice.
It suddenly came to her. “Chicken salad,” she blurted out.
“Chicken salad it is,” the waiter responded, before taking her menu away and leaving for the kitchen.
Twilight sighed as relief came over her. She turned back to the table to see everypony looking at her slack-jawed. Even Celestia’s usual calm demeanor was tainted by wide eyes. Everypony felt much further from Twilight than they did before, a pit crushed into her core.
“W-what—” Twilight was cut off.
“Did you just say chicken salad?” Rainbow asked Twilight like she’d just committed a crime.
By all rights, Twilight did indeed now suddenly feel like she’d committed a crime.
“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! I just blurted it out!” Twilight desperately pantomimed along with her words, her tone pleading for forgiveness.
“Blurted out chicken salad?” Rainbow pressed, as she leaned forward, her hooves holding her up onto the table.
Twilight let out snippets of words, her face and body rapidly moving as she desperately tried to pull together a defence.
“Rainbow Dash,” Celestia's voice boomed, as she stood up straight in her chair, staring Rainbow down with a glare.
She continued, her attention shifting to Twilight, “I’m sure she has a good reason, as long as we let her explain it.”
Twilight’s vision bore deep into Celestia’s eyes, as she lathered up the look of reassurance she was receiving from her. Twilight concentrated on her breathing, bringing a hoof up to mime the motion of taking in a deep breath and then slowly releasing it.
“Ever since this morning I haven’t been able to fully accept the truth that I…have a taste for meat,” she spoke with wavering confidence.
“Mary was omnivorous, eating plants and meat, but to be fair, her world was much different from this one. I’m not sure to what degree I’m comfortable with the idea of it now. Although I remember species on Earth that are, uh, similar to ponies being able to eat a small amount of meat and not becoming sick,” Twilight said, finishing with a sigh as she braced herself again to continue.
“All I’ve eaten today was sweets and so I wished to cleanse my palate with something more hearty. The carnivorous meals felt so familiar to me. But-but I didn’t want to deal with those desires yet! I tried to look for a nice salad instead…and I guess even in doing so my mind still went to meat,” Twilight finished, putting her head in her hooves.
“Be careful, Twilight. While your mind’s desires may have changed, I doubt your body has,” Celestia responded with a calm yet stern spin to her voice.
She continued, “You are correct in that, while eating a small amount of meat won’t hurt you, you won’t gain nutrition from it. When the waiter returns, I’ll ask him to bring out a normal salad for you. If you wish to satisfy your curiosity with the chicken however, I won’t stop you.”
Twilight lifted herself up again, a small iota of dignity returning.
“Thank you,” Twilight said, “I’m sorry.”
Celestia smiled, “Twilight, don’t worry. While this change isn’t something I’d choose for you, I’ve met plenty of wonderful creatures—full of kindness and good hearts—who eat meat regularly. I am no stranger to it.”
A sliver of a smirk managed to find home on Twilight’s muzzle at Celestia’s words.
Rainbow Dash chuckled, “Good thing Fluttershy isn’t here. Could you imagine?”
Pinkie looked to Dash with a confused lilt of her head, “Why? Doesn’t she help creatures that eat meat all the time?”
Rainbow Dash put her hooves behind her head, and leaned back into the cushion of the chair.
“Yeah, but that’s different,” Rainbow said with an air of uncaring authority in her position of understanding Fluttershy.
She continued, “Even just the times I told her about Guilda eating meat creeped her out.”
“But doesn’t Guilda have to eat meat? Twilight doesn’t,” Spike said with a glare towards Twilight.
Twilight shuffled in her chair.
“That’s true. I’m sorry. I didn’t want this to be a big issue. I didn’t even want to deal with it right now. Maybe I’ll try it and hate it and never touch meat again. Even if I do enjoy it, I know it will be something I would feel terrible to indulge in,” Twilight said.
The room grew quiet, though Twilight could hardly tell with the conversation still playing on loop in her mind. The noise and reiterating and recompiling of it threatened to choke her.
“Twilight…what happened today?” Celestia broke through the silent noise.
Twilight took a deep breath.
“Right, that would be important to tell you. I’ll start from the beginning…” Twilight began recounting the events, slipping into the memories, no longer paying attention to the world around her.
***
“I remember I stopped myself before I ate to pray. It’s still strange that happened, anyway—” Twilight’s story was interrupted by Celestia.
“I’m sorry to interrupt, but why?” she said calmly.
Twilight swore she heard her brain crack open for a moment, before turning to see that it was the sound of the waiter returning with their food on rolling carts. Twilight was transfixed on the ordeal. She shook her head, and forced her attention back to the group.
“Oh, um, that has to do with Mary. She, um, was a follower of God—well, more specifically Christ and... I’m not sure it’s all that important now that I’m not on that world anymore,” Twilight sheepishly smiled.
“It was important to Mary, who is now a part of you. I’d like to learn,” Celestia said before whispering something to the waiter.
Twilight had her focus ripped away from the conversation again as her plate was set before her. The first thing that hit her was the smell. It wasn’t like the typical Equestrian fear of carnivorous creatures devouring stinking rotting raw flesh, it was like a chicken salad, the same well presented and cooked meal she’d eaten plenty of times before. The aroma was pleasant, mostly smelling of the dressing poured onto it, and the helping of vegetables mixed in gave the food a more palatable look. She leaned in to take a deeper sniff, and sure enough it was still fine, no rotting flesh. Carefully she took a fork in her magic, and plunged it into the dish, and brought the catch up and right into her maw.
From whence she quickly pulled it back out again, closing her eyes and annoyedly going through the same song and dance to quickly pray for the food. She couldn’t help but to finish with that overly audible ‘Amen’. In a flash it was over and the food went straight into her mouth.
It…tasted fine, maybe bland, but otherwise fine. She carefully studied it in her mouth, looking for its textures and tastes. The chicken, she realized, was what made the food taste bland, because she could barely taste it. The sauce was really helping this dish out. It was almost disappointing. Sure a wave of relief came over her that it wasn’t terrible, and certainly wasn’t going to harm her but…that relief was miniscule compared to the nothing that was the chicken.
“What’s it like, Twilight?” Pinkie’s question pulled Twilight’s attention back up.
Everyone was watching her with rapt attention. Twilight nervously gulped down the food in her mouth, and put on a terribly unconvincing smile.
“Kind of bland actually. It’s not the same taste I remember, but that only makes sense considering I’m eating with this set of taste buds, and not Mary’s,” she said.
“But you’re not saying it’s bad?” Rainbow’s question was drawn out, slow.
“Listen, I won’t eat anymore of it. I don’t want to hurt anypony. This is nowhere near as important as my friendship with all of you,” Twilight said.
“We're not going to stop being your friend just for that, silly!” Pinkie said, before stuffing a hay sandwich into her mouth.
The table fell silent, divided between Twilight, who awaited further comment, and the others, who had none.
Ignore it. Don’t think about it.
Twilight looked towards Celestia.
“So, you want to know about Christianity, right? Okay,” Twilight refocused herself fully on Celestia.
Celestia focused herself fully on Twilight.
“Christianity is the name of a religion on Earth, the planet Mary is from, that believes in one true God who is the creator of the universe and everything. Specifically Christianity is a branch of what is known as the Abrahamic religions which believes that a little after the year 0 AD that God impregnated a virgin with his only son who is also God so that he may bring us into a new covenant with God and fulfill the old covenant with his sacrifice. This son was named Jesus Christ, and he was deemed guilty of being a false prophet by the religious leaders of the time and nailed to a wooden cross and killed. His body was entombed in a cave, and three days later he rose from the dead, where after a short while he returned to heaven with the Father. His sacrifice and revival fulfilled the covenant and made it so that any who know and follow him and call him their Lord and saviour will be saved as he was and will enter God’s kingdom and be granted eternal life after death.”
The room was silent for a beat.
“I mean, I could keep going, but that’s the basics covered,” Twilight finished.
“It’s interesting that you said it’s a belief. Does this god not make themself known often?” Celestia was engaged in the topic, not even bothering with her food.
Twilight was happy to continue, “Not to the same degree the old gods of this world used to, and certainly not in the same way we all see Discord.”
Twilight’s excitement faltered, so much of what Mary’s memories had to say were so unacademic.
“Mary has…seen Him before, but honestly that event was always something that could be chalked up to simply being sick at the time and in a strained mental state. A figment of my imagination perhaps,” she said, her words becoming more wistful.
She continued, “Most of what is taught are from the stories, prayers, and songs, passed down through books which were collated into what is known as the Bible. Remember when I said that the main events of Christianity happened around 0 AD? Mary was born around two-thousand years after that.”
Twilight finally came out of her singular focus on the conversation to look over at her friends. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie both looked like they’d finally let themselves dig in—Pinkie especially so—but Spike returned Twilight’s gaze. He hadn’t touched his plate, as he calmly paid absolute attention to her. At first, Spike’s determined eyes were frightening, but there wasn’t a drop of contempt, just pure focused intake of information.
“It’s interesting to see one of my ponies so engaged in religion as it once was so long ago. Even when I was young it was becoming rare. I only knew of a few who, like you do now, prayed to a deity before each meal,” Celestia’s words were soft as her ancient memories were revived.
Celestia felt a strange and disturbing nostalgia in seeing this forgotten lifestyle being shown in her pupil. She recalled how in the moment she saw Twilight, before her own eyes, bow her head and pray, it was like a long dead ghost had taken Twilight’s place. And just as quickly it had been over. Moreover the more she learned of this god and his history, the more Celestia worried over what Discord had relayed to her. Something about Twilight’s talk of a covenant rang a bell that needed to be investigated further. Celestia realized she’d been caught in her thoughts. Twilight’s friends were here and there were too many topics to cover to continue down this path for now. Clearing her mind, she reoriented herself.
“We can discuss more about this another time,” Celestia changed the conversation’s course.
A worried smile took her face. “What I want to know is simple. Do you think, even after today, you’re still able to commit to your duty as the Princess of Friendship?”
Author's Note
I'm back! This chapter was already at around 8k words when I had gone on hiatus, so all I had to do was finish it up. The next chapter is already somewhat planned out, but I have no idea if I'll ever finish it! :D
I give no guarantees as to upload schedule or if this will ever be finished. My whims are ever changing and unknowable. :)
By the way! (Spoilers lol) the idea is that all of the main six eventually have something similar happen to them like Twilight did. However assuming this keeps going at the same pace, it won't be for another 2-3 chapters until the next mind-merge occurs.
The cold chill of the room grew as the light of the day filtered less and less through the dining hall’s windows. The wood of the table was as long as it was uninviting. So many things she had done were uninviting. If it weren’t for Twilight’s determination to continue despite that she wouldn’t be here today, she wouldn’t even be alive today.
Celestia’s question was an invitation to continue in the work she had already set out on. Work which by no means was fruitless. It was her friends which gave her meaning to all the work and study she’d poured her life into. It was her friends which gave her new life a chance of succeeding. There was still that chill that ran up her spine and tangled into her mushy brain. The thought of how incapable she was now, how less fit she’d become.
A princess? Me?
The thought of taking the mantle seemed impossible despite having already managed it before. The confounded twisting contradictions of her life bit at her hooves. She wanted to shake, shake away the frustration and cold chill of this damn room. She felt the frown which had poisoned her muzzle, now stretching and bringing stress to her face’s muscles. She fought the pressure building behind her eyes as she stared into Celestia’s gaze with determination.
“Yes,” She said sternly.
“I promise that I will do all I can as Princess of Friendship.”
Celestia’s face showed no emotion, no response to the fierceness of Twilight’s answer.
“That is all I can ever ask of you, Twilight,” Celestia said.
Twilight took in a deep breath, and strength and warmth flooded her body.
“I have a simple assignment for you. Something innocuous, but still a duty befitting a princess,” Celestia said.
Twilight’s response was quick. “Anything.”
Celestia chuckled, and the fire in Twilight’s heart weakened from confusion and worry.
“Twilight, it’s nothing that serious. Like I said, it’s simple and innocuous. The yearly Rainbow Falls trader’s exchange is coming up, and they need a princess to oversee the affair to ensure the fairness of trades. You’ll be the princess to go this year. That is all,” Celestia said with a smile.
Twilight allowed herself a small chuckle after taking in another breath, finally seeing the humor in her own attitude that Celestia had.
“Right, well, I’ll still do my best. You can count on me!” Twilight said.
“I’m sure I can,” Celestia responded.
“Ooooo~ The Rainbow Falls trader’s exchange!” Pinkie entered into the conversation again as she perked up in her chair.
Pinkie looked to Celestia, “What’s that?”
Celestia smiled as she turned to Pinkie.
“It is a yearly opportunity for ponies from all over Equestria to trade anything and everything at one place. Trade, not sell. If you want to get something, you have to give something. It has a well known reputation for being the one place you can find just about anything you want,” Celestia said, calm and motherly.
Spike stood in his chair, leaning forward and arching his head to Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash.
“If Twilights going, why don’t we all go?” Spike said with the first glimmer of excitement he’d shown all day.
His glow only brightened as he continued, “If you can find anything there, then I just know there’s going to be a mint condition comic I can trade for!”
Rainbow looked over to Spike, her eyes threatening to leave their sockets.
“If there’s mint comics there, then maybe I can finally find that first edition of Daring Do and the Quest of the Sapphire Statue!”
Twilight blinked in surprise, leaning back into her chair as wind rushed past her from the sheer speed of Rainbow Dash rocketing out of her seat to hover just before her.
“Twilight, you gotta let us come with you!” Rainbow exclaimed.
Twilight smiled, calming herself down from the excitation of Rainbow’s question.
“Of course you can come, all of my friends can come,” Twilight responded with a giggle.
“Yes!” Rainbow burst out, as she pumped a hoof into the air.
Twilight looked over her gathered friends, each of them beaming with hopeful excitation. It filled her with a soothing warmth. Twilight’s attention was brought back to Celestia as her mentor couldn’t help but to let out a sigh of pride in her student.
Celestia and Twilight’s gaze met.
“Twilight, you are the princess of friendship. Just as it is my duty to raise and lower the sun, Luna’s to raise and lower the moon, and Cadence’s to inspire love in her subjects, it is your duty to foster and grow your friendships and the friendships of others. This will be an excellent opportunity for you to realize that once again.”
“You’re right, princess. Thank you,” Twilight said with a determined smile.
“You’re quite welcome,” Celestia said with a smile, that was growing…playful.
“Oh, and Twilight?” Celestia added.
“Yes?” Twilight was taken aback.
“You haven’t touched your food in ages. We can talk more later, you should eat,” Celestia finished.
Twilight looked between the bowl of greens which had appeared beside her at some point and Celestia with a nervous smile.
“Oh, right,” she said with a nervous chuckle, before finally diving into her food.
***
The fading sun’s last grasp over the castle had left, replaced by the flickering light of oil lamps. Twilight examined the construction as her group passed through the long corridors of the castle. Some talented engineering had been endowed with the mission of setting oil lamps to a light switch system in place of fluorescent bulbs. Twilight couldn’t help but feel this was an obvious case of maladaptation to new technologies. While light bulbs could be considered more harsh in some cases, or perhaps there might be some attachment to oil lamps, this sort of backwards integration of new systems into old technology was…well, really something only the princesses could get away with.
“Here are your rooms,” Celestia knocked Twilight out of her thoughts as a key hovered over to her.
Twilight took her key in her magic. Celestia put a hoof on Twilight before she could go to unlock her door.
“I hate to pull you away right before bed, but may you come to my room to talk some more? There’s much I still have questions about,” Celestia said, looking at Twilight with a furrowed brow.
Twilight perked up in surprise.
“Oh, um,” she mumbled, before turning quickly to spike to float the room key over to him, and turning back to Celestia.
“Sure,” she finished.
Celestia nodded, and wordlessly turned to walk to her room. Twilight arched her head back towards her friends as she followed in her mentor’s hoofsteps.
“I’ll be back Spike,” she said with her gaze focused on the recipient.
“I’ll see you all tomorrow morning,” she continued, looking towards Pinkie and Rainbow Dash.
They all responded their farewells in kind, The sound of doors unlocking, opening, and then closing again was the last major sound Twilight heard for a long while, as the pair traveled their way around the corner and into another hallway. Twilight was given little time to ponder in this absence of answers until they reached Celestia’s quarters. The room was elegant, but cozy. Every piece of furniture or fabric was like a piece of art that still imbued the room in the warmth befitting the pillows nestled around the room’s fireplace. Said fireplace was soon alight from Celestia’s magic.
Yet Twilight found it difficult to breathe, to even let out an utterance. Looking up at Celestia’s towering figure, Twilight managed a weak smile.
“So…what did you want to talk about?” The words choked their way out of her.
Celestia drug herself out of her growing melancholy, as a fleeting thought was allowed to come to the forefront.
“Actually, before I get into what I really wanted to ask you about, if I may be so bold,” Celestia paused, pointing a hoof at Twilight’s rear.
“What’s with the outfit? It’s not exactly something I’d expect from you, not that there’s anything wrong with that,” Celestia asked, her smile growing.
Twilight looked back at her skirt.
“Oh, right. I actually forgot I was even wearing it,” she said, turning back to Celestia.
Twilight tapped her hooves against the carpeted floor.
“Mary, uh, grew up in a society that was always clothed so it’s been…interesting trying to ignore most pony’s constant nudity. Having something to cover myself helps comfort me,” Twilight answered with a shrug.
“I see,” Celestia said, her attention once again turning to the room.
Celestia turned her face away from Twilight as she struggled to suppress a wry smile. Celestia had immediately picked up on what Twilight had meant by everypony’s nudity being ‘interesting’, and the idea of Twilight of all ponies having to control her urges was frankly hilarious .
Twilight couldn’t see Celestia’s expression as she continued her journey further into the room.
“Come join me,” Celestia said calmly.
Celestia folded herself down into a collection of pillows near the fireplace. Twilight noticed the books and scrolls strewn about the spot Celestia sat. This was her reading spot. Twilight pushed herself out of her momentary stupor, moving over to another collection of pillows nearby and emulated Celestia’s position, nestling into the mounds of fluff. Looking over to Celestia, Twilight saw no mention of comfort despite the environment. Celestia was stiff, her face plain.
“Twilight, I apologize in advance, but please sit still for a moment,” Celestia said.
And before Twilight could respond, Celestia had bowed her head towards her, her horn pointing directly at her. A stream of magic came out from the tip of Celestia’s horn like flowing water pooling into the air. Her magic flowed like a river towards Twilight, reaching out and touching Twilight’s neck. It tingled and pulled against her, numbing her skin. More and more of it flowed out and against and all around her. She could feel the area grow, and consume her, covering her mouth and nose not too long in. The image of being pulled down into sand head first came to mind, the tingling numbness not incomparable to what she saw. She held her breath for a long while, she closed her eyes as the magic pulled up over them. It kept traveling all around her, her eyes, her ears, her heart, then her stomach, then her intestines, all feeling like they were being turned off one by one. She wanted to shake, to scream, to claw against the fate of her possible demise.
She gasped for air, as suddenly it was all over. Her throat was dry and hot and cold and burning as she choked in new oxygen. She coughed and finally her body gave out all the energy stored up in one massive shudder. She found a new sense of gratitude in her being placed among a mound of pillows. Slowly she began to breathe normally again.
“Again I apologize, Twilight, I know that spell is not an enjoyable experience. Trust me when I say that I would do nothing to you that I have not had done to myself,” Celestia explained in as calm a demeanor as she ever could, her pain in having to subject Twilight to that spell still evident in her voice.
Twilight was just able to keep up with what was happening, her faculties finally able to rest enough away from reacting to terror and coming back to reality.
“What was that?” She managed to ask.
“An identification spell,” Celestia answered simply.
That took Twilight aback. An identification spell was exactly the kind of thing Twilight would joke about, not something real. Twilight said nothing, but her face involuntarily got across the pure confusion she felt.
“It’s an old spell, and not one I use lightly. However it does confirm to me that you are—indeed—my Twilight…with some additions,” Celestia spoke slowly and calmly.
Twilight was ready to accept that completely. At this point it was the least crazy revelation there could possibly be.
“What that spell did not do, however, was bring me closer to answering another concern of mine, something Discord brought to my attention earlier today,” Celestia continued.
Twilight could hardly react anymore, her eyes now glued on Celestia’s.
“Huh?” She dumbly replied.
“I’m hoping you can help illuminate the subject. That god you mentioned today, even before you brought it up I knew of it through Discord, for he sensed in you a presence, or rather, a connection to some unknown deity. He said it was connected to all of you, not simply Mary. All he was able to tell me was that it was ‘like an invitation in your mailbox’,” Celestia said, the words streaming into Twilight’s head as her full attention laid on them.
Twilight turned the words over in her head. Slowly her gaze traveled away from Celestia. Twilight’s eyes moved around the room, not to observe it, but to search the corners of her thoughts. And then it clicked. Her gaze returned to Celestia, her demeanor suddenly much more sober.
“That’s Him alright. That’s Christ’s covenant,” Twilight said, her tone even and serious.
Her eyes flicked away as she couldn’t help but chuckle. She stared off into some dark corner of the room.
“Discord couldn’t have picked a more fitting phrase,” She said.
Twilight took in a deep breath, her gaze returned to Celestia, though her eyes continued to jump around, never finding a resting point. She straightened her posture.
“That invitation is the invitation to follow Christ, and accept Him as your Lord and savior.”
She let out a final airy breathy chuckle as her eyes finally truly locked onto Celestia’s.
“It’s that simple. You don’t have to accept it, you don’t have to like it. He invites everyone He can, anyone who knows Him. It’s an invitation to eternal life after death in his heavenly kingdom. Accepting it really is as simple as saying and affirming until you die, that He is your Lord and Savior,” Twilight said, her voice soft and low.
Celestia’s mouth twinged downward, as she heard what felt like another creature speak through her protégé with such conviction. There was a power to her words. Celestia had seen incantations and curses, but that didn’t quite fit what this was either. Twilight’s words bore a weight that crashed into her chest.
Twilight just laughed, her head felt like it was spinning. For the second time today, everything she knew felt like it was flipped on her head. The unprovable was proven.
“Wow…proof,” she laughed.
“Proof of God!” she laughed again.
Celestia watched as Twilight continued her mumbling, her words slurred and unorganized. Celestia was glad Twilight was too wrapped up in herself to see her frowning. There was too much to consider, too many ways this could be the worst thing…or possibly the best thing in Equestrian history. Celestia knew nothing of the old gods of this world, if this was one of them, or something else, however she knew she was powerless against it. She felt heavy, like the millennia of graceful aging had finally caught up to her and she’d soon be reduced to a useless stump.
I must care for my subjects, no matter what.
She thought, and so her strength came back through sheer determination.
“Twilight,” she mustered.
At once Twilight ceased her ramblings, looking up to meet Celestia’s gaze. Celestia could see that same childlike innocence she’d seen in Twilight ever since she was little. Her heart could hardly take the strain, yet she smiled through it all the same.
“Let us both go and rest. It has been a long day.”
Twilight nodded.
“Yeah…of course,” Twilight said nervously.
Celestia stood, causing Twilight to follow suit. She watched as Twilight turned and made her way to the door. Twilight turned to Celestia once she reached it.
“Good night,” she said with a smile.
“Good night, Twilight.”
And like that she was gone. Celestia let out the long stressful sigh she’d built up. She wanted to ponder every possible implication of what had happened to Twilight. She wanted to stay up all night and think through the contingencies and future scenarios. With great force, twisting against the grain of that old stump she still felt she could be reduced to at a moment’s notice, she brought herself to her bed and slept.
***
Twilight wasn’t content with sleeping just yet. There was too much to think about.
Proof of God…
But Celestia was right to shove this whole issue away. It simply could not be dealt with now.
If only Discord’s findings could be analyzed, viewed, whatever by something more real.
She didn’t want to deal with this, she didn’t want to deal with most of today.
Can I even trust Discord? I mean…it’s Discord!
The hallways back to her room felt a lot longer than she remembered. Her heavy hooves dragged against the marble, her languid posture exemplified in her devotion to staring at the floor as she walked.
Her room was the leftmost from where they’d first entered the hallway from. The door was a pristine white piece of carved wood.
I’m not going to worry myself over some hearsay of Discord…no matter how likely it is he’s right.
Twilight’s hoof knocked against the door to her room.
“Coming!” she could faintly hear Spike say from inside.
With a click the door unlocked and opened. Spike looked up to Twilight with a smile.
“That didn’t take too long,” Spike said.
Twilight rubbed her foreleg with her other hoof.
“Yeah, it was really just one question,” she replied hastily, as she entered the room.
The cool blue of the moon’s glow blanketed the room and by extension Twilight. Though the accommodations didn’t give the same personal and homely ambience that Celestia’s room had, the simple fact that this wasn’t Celestia’s room—that it was different—filled Twilight with a guilty peace. She could almost imagine she was simply staying at an expensive hotel, and not Canterlot castle.
“If you don’t mind me asking, what was the question?” Spike asked.
“I, uh…” Twilight trailed off, her attention elsewhere.
Twilight’s saddlebags laid against the room’s study desk, having been delivered here sometime earlier during her initial entry. Looking back on it, the pony with the gray coat and black mane who had taken her bags seemed familiar, but she couldn’t place a hoof on what her name was.
Trotting her way over to the desk, she opened her bags and began sorting their contents out onto the desk. She placed a hoof on the book she brought out in front. Combustion and Flames was its title. She pressed her hoof into the hardback, the subtle texturing pressing into the soft inner part of her hoof. She thought about her, now very distant, Bible.
“It was about all that religion stuff. Apparently Discord told her something about sensing a connection in me to an unknown deity and, well, she asked me what I knew.”
Twilight’s speech was slow and quiet as each word was put deliberately into place in her response.
Spike’s chest tightened, his head moving to side eye Twilight.
“And what do you know?” He asked.
Twilight sat down in the desk chair with a huff, her eyes trained on the ground below her.
“Too much, but not enough. If what Discord says is accurate, then there is definitive proof that the God of Mary’s world exists. I don’t know what to do with that information right now, besides just keep praying I guess,” Twilight looked up finally at Spike as she paused.
“I can’t think of a single thing in Equestria I could possibly look to for information,” Twilight huffed, then chuckled which grew to a laugh.
“So I’m not going to worry about it!” Twilight said, throwing her hooves into the air.
Spike shrugged, “Eh, then I guess I won’t worry about it either. There’s been too much of that today.”
Spike pointed at the desk behind Twilight, and the assembled materials now piled on it.
“You gonna stay up and study?” Spike asked without a hint of derision.
Twilight gave a small smile.
“Yeah, just to get my mind off of things. Go back to basics, you know?” she said.
Spike yawned, as he turned towards the bed.
“Alright, just don’t stay up too late,” Spike said, suppressing another yawn.
“Will do, Spike.”
***
Luna’s hooffalls were sure yet careful, as she traveled down the corridors of her dreamscape. It had been a normal night, in that so little was ever normal. She knew the ways of her subject’s hearts, how the inner desires and thoughts of everycreature pulled and worked over the taffy that was one’s imagination. The night was long, in that so much had been done yet in her dreamful state there was nary a notion of restlessness.
She felt a familiar tug, and so she turned to view what had elicited her mind’s eye to perk up. She came over to view the door that led into the pony’s mind. It was Twilight’s…yet it was different somehow. She pondered the shape, texture, aura of that door, yet nothing was at once apparent as to why she felt there was a change. The mind’s creation and representation in dreams was a fickle thing to produce detail in any useful amount. Whatever happened it was too subtle to see.
Opening the door she immersed herself into Twilight’s stream of unconsciousness.
She was surrounded by creatures she did not recognize. Creatures of skin, not fur, on two legs, with fingers and thumbs and clothed all over. Great throngs of them moved through the cramped hallway with the bored uncaring patience only a thinking creature could. She focused on finding Twilight. She flew, unseen, above the crowds, her eyes searching through the gaps of the moving creatures. Twilight was nowhere to be found.
She focused on what Twilight was feeling, what Twilight was seeing and hearing, in order to transport herself there. Her eyes refocused into a view from Twilight’s perspective as she walked through the halls.
Her emotions were overtaken by those of Twilight’s as she experienced the dream. Twilight was one of these creatures. She felt and saw how the body was unfit, how even amongst the growing throng of other similar creatures, Twilight felt outcast in her own body, constantly looking down at herself and checking all was in its proper place. Nervous and jittery, she entered into one of two rooms, which by Luna’s understanding given through this transference of perspectives, were gendered bathrooms. Inside were creatures which she knew as being female, yet still Twilight was nervous to be there, like she didn’t belong with the others of her sex.
The dream shifted once she had opened a stall door. Twilight fell onto the floor and was now back in her normal body. An overwhelming tense pain shook through her, and it took all of Luna’s willpower to pull herself out from Twilight’s perspective.
They were in Twilight’s room, up in her loft during a cold night. Twilight laid on the hard wooden floor beside her bed, wallowing in her pulsing pain, her form barely visible in the darkness. Twilight’s limbs shakily stretched out, as tears streamed from her closed eyes. Her mouth moved, pressing her burning lungs to scream for help, but no sound escaped.
Luna was about to come out of her shock and stop this dream before it all changed again.
Twilight stood in a dark and simple bedroom, facing Celestia who stood at the room’s center. Celestia’s gaze suddenly lurched over to Twilight. Her muzzle was distorted into a terrible frown, her eyes blazing with contempt.
“God is real,” Celestia’s voice boomed through the room.
Celestia’s appearance was replaced by a bush overtaken by a raging fire. Smoke billowed out in massive heaps from the fire. Luna watched as Twilight fell, shaking in terror, down into a deep bow, her forehooves clasped together.
“Forgive me!” Twilight shouted at the fire. “Forgive me!”
Luna snapped out of her shock, and with the concentrated flap of her wings she snuffed out the great fire in a gust of wind. Or she would have, if the bush and the fire with it did not disappear the moment before her attempt came to fruition, yet her gale, already in motion, was let loose all the same.
Twilight was snapped out of her trance of horror, confusion overtaking her as Luna approached from the sky. Luna’s stretched out wings covered the light as she descended, encompassing Twilight in darkness. A pin was pulled somewhere in Twilight’s mind, unleashing the whirr of a great winding machine. The soft click of mental gears began to join more in more in the greater harmony of lucidity. The shroud of dark coming to save her from nightmares suddenly felt all too familiar.
“Luna?” Twilight asked in wonder.
“Twilight, I know it has been a little longer than usual since we’ve last conversed, but I feel like I’m missing out on a great deal of context,” Luna said, her tone casual and unabashed to show her confusion.
“This is a dream,” Twilight said.
This question was so banal to Luna, that it made its otherwise dumb nature slide right off. Yet she was surprised at how slowly Twilight of all ponies was taking to catch up, Luna had the impression that Twilight had become quite accustomed to her dream visits.
“Yes, and this is a dream that I am having a difficult time understanding,” Luna said, taking a few steps closer to Twilight.
Twilight looked down at her hooves. She brought them closer to her face, turning them around before her. Her face radiated the despair of a child, one that slowly died down to a manageable melancholy as the certainty of her form became clear.
Luna watched this display with a frown of worry, a tenseness in her chest growing in sympathy with Twilight’s worsened state.
“What is wrong, Twilight,” Luna said in a hushed voice.
Twilight put her face in her hooves.
“I don’t know where to start,” she mumbled through the massaging motion of her hooves.
Luna carefully made her way over to Twilight. She placed a hoof atop Twilight’s head, and watched as the mare looked up at her with a frown. She thought up a nice chair for Twilight to rest on, and placed Twilight gently upon it with her magic. Making up her own chair, she sat across from Twilight, and simply waited. Twilight took in a deep breath, using a hoof to guide her timing. In and out.
“Last night I awoke to find that my mind had merged with another,” she began.
***
A young boy, alone at his own birthday party. A young adult struggling to find his goal, his career…A young woman, still scared but full of potential, excitement, energy.
Those were some of the many memories of Mary’s life that were replayed before Luna. Twilight had guided Luna through the key moments bit by bit, and Luna had simply sat and listened patiently. She could tell that as the presentation went on Twilight became less upset. Luna had to suppress a giggle at how cute it was that Twilight enjoyed any opportunity to expound her knowledge onto others.
Her thoughts returned to the present as she sat before Twilight, looking at her. The mare before her couldn’t be considered the same Twilight she knew before, that much was clear.
No, this wasn’t Twilight Sparkle, but Twilight Mary Sparkle. Luna had been reluctant to share her reactions, because in her opinion there were none worthy to give until the full context was put together. But now she had that full context. Slowly the pieces formed into one work. True, Mary was not exactly like Twilight, but she could see where similarities began and ended and found that the important aspects were still there. The mare before her had a good heart, and a sound mind, just one that had been rattled by an understandably mind rattling day.
There was a lull in Twilight’s ramblings.
“Twilight Mary Sparkle,” Luna said, catching the full attention of said individual.
“I am proud to say that I know you now. I cannot claim to help you solve all of your quandaries this night, though I wish I had the time, but if there’s one thing I wish to impart on you it is this: You are a wonderful pony, and I’m sure you shall succeed evermore in your role.”
Twilight grinned, fiddling with her hooves at the compliment. That short burst of pride was dashed by a new worry.
“Does that mean you’ll be going? I haven’t even gotten to talk about my dreams,” Twilight’s frown chipped away at Luna’s armor.
“I am afraid so, but I have confidence in you to overcome your fears. Keep the knowledge of my faith in you close to heart, and you shall be safe tonight,” Luna answered, rising out of her chair.
Twilight’s heart sank in her chest. She brought a hoof up to her vision, her imagination filling in a small ball of light representing Luna’s promise of faith as a physical thing. Carefully she brought that light to press against her chest.
Luna walked over to Twilight, and materialized a blanket to cover her.
“Sleep well. Each night will bring you peace to start off your next day well,” Luna said.
Twilight snuggled into her chair, closing her eyes, as she pulled the blanket tighter around her.
Luna leapt out of the dream, and towards the rest of her night.
The door to Twilight’s mind closed behind her, and the sound gave her pause. She remembered her initial questioning of it, how it had seemed to change yet she noticed nothing. She turned back to the door, her vision focusing deeper into it, now determined to figure out something given her new knowledge of Twilight’s experiences.
She peered closer and closer, until finally something caught her eye. Her mind strained to create detail. The wood, the very wood itself, was composed of a jumbled collage of the wood from two different sources. Each piece was so miniscule as to not be visible without this extreme level of deep observation.
She leaned back, and wondered over what could have caused this.
***
A bulbous weight pulled her mind against whatever terrible thing had deigned to interrupt her nothingness. She felt her body shift amidst the pool of blanket and sheet she was immersed in. Her eyes opened, the previously known vast sea of blanket in view, broken only by the wall of pillows to one side.
Twilight was awake in Canterlot castle, the room bathed in the light of a…surprisingly high sun. She wondered why it was already so late.
She propped herself up in bed, and it was then it all came back to her. Her hooves, horn, wings, tail, mind, thoughts, desires, hopes, fears, and her time yesterday all came back to her.
“Ugh.”
How she managed a response to her predicament so beautifully poetic was beyond her.
A book snapped shut right before a short gust of wind blew against Twilight, her eyes darting over to see the cause of this offending wind only to find Rainbow Dash hovering by her bed.
“Hey, you’re finally awake! I was starting to think you’d just sleep the whole day after all that happened yesterday,” Rainbow Dash said, the relief of her now concluded wait evident in her tone.
She landed, taking a step back.
“How’re you feeling?” she asked.
Rainbow Dash began a series of stretches and simple calisthenics, as she awaited Twilight’s answer.
Twilight watched Rainbow for a moment, the motions of the routine capturing her attention amidst the otherwise static room. Her brain was slow, like it was leaking or in a low gear or…something. It was too early to be thinking in analogies.
“I…uh,” Twilight began as her vision scanned across the room.
Nopony else occupied the room besides Twilight and Rainbow Dash. Twilight’s collection of study material and notes looked undisturbed from how she left it last night. The desk chair had been pulled to the side, now facing the bed. A Daring Do book of some description sat in the unoccupied seat.
“Where’s Spike?” Twilight asked.
“He’s out grabbing some grub with Pinkie, they’ve been mostly hanging in one of the other rooms we got so we didn’t wake you. It just happened it was my turn to watch over you when you got up,” Rainbow said in a cool and relaxed tone.
With a final long stretch Rainbow finished her routine, letting out a satisfied moan.
“Huh,” Twilight said as her eyes drifted down to the floor.
Rainbow raised a brow, a wrinkle of worry in her muzzle for a second.
“Twilight?” Rainbow raised her voice as she came closer to Twilight.
Twilight pulled her gaze back up to Rainbow Dash, who now stood right beside her bed. Rainbow’s worried look only served to transfer more worry to her, her mind was too tired and overwhelmed to even consider fully internalizing a register of what Rainbow Dash was thinking about or what Pinkie and Spike were up to. The only gears that turned were focused on the sensations and fundamentals of her reality.
Rainbow continued, “You feeling alright?”
Twilight’s eyes stared deeply into Rainbow’s, as her mind attempted to relay connection and understanding of the social situation. Twilight’s fears grew up from the ground which now lay clean of any usual toxins created by the frontal lobe to dissuade illogical patterns. Fear and despair tainted her tired and unprotected mind.
Twilight stuck a hoof out from her sheets, and pressed it into Rainbow Dash’s chest, feeling her fur. Rainbow cringed, as the situation developed too quickly to handle. Tears welled in Twilight’s eyes as her mind looped a familiar song.
She’s real…I’m real.
Twilight’s chest felt like it was knocked back, as all of her body suddenly sprang into action to avert her coming cry session. Her breathing became short and quick, as her eyes shot wide open.
Rainbow Dash similarly recoiled in shock. She lifted up a hoof and began gently guiding Twilight’s hoof to lie back on the bed.
“Hey, hey, it’s chill, we’re all chill,” Rainbow spoke with an unconfident and squeaky voice.
Twilight focused all of her effort on calming down, but couldn’t stop a small flow of tears from streaming slowly down her face.
A knock came from the door.
“Oh, pony feathers,” Rainbow exclaimed under her breath.
Rainbow put on her best smile.
“You stay right there and just…chill out, okay?” Rainbow’s cheery tone was a thin veneer, and the smile wasn’t doing much either.
In a second, Rainbow flew over and cracked open the door, peeking her head out to see Pinkie Pie and Spike carrying bags of food.
“Hey Rainbow Dash, we—” Pinkie was interrupted.
“Thank Celestia, it’s you two! Get in here,” Rainbow said, flying out and pushing Pinkie and Spike into the room.
The door shut behind them, as Pinkie and Spike took in the image of a softly crying Twilight staring back at them.
In a zip, Pinkie was suddenly at Twilight’s side showing a worried face.
“Hey, this is no time to be upsetti-spaghetti, I’ve got some,” Pinkie paused, tilting her head.
“Well it’s not spaghetti, but it’s food you like way more than that!” Pinkie exclaimed, raising up the bag she carried.
Pinkie held an off-white paper bag which bore the logo of a diner chain Twilight was very familiar with. The tears stopped, as her full attention was locked onto the bag.
“The Hay Burger,” Twilight said in a soft voice.
Twilight extended her arms out, like a foal reaching for its toy, and Pinkie gleefully hoofed over the bag. Twilight greedily opened it up, levitating out the burger and fries. Her shoulders slouched down, her mouth turning to a relaxed grin. She closed her eyes and put her hooves together.
“Lord thank you for this meal, amen!” She joyfully prayed before digging straight into the food.
Rainbow Dash chuckled as she came up beside Pinkie.
“Whew, thanks Pinkie. Really saved my hide there,” Rainbow said with a relieved sigh.
Pinkie laughed, “Uhh, no I didn’t, I saved Twilight’s stomach!”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and chuckled.
Spike came over to the group with a pep in his step and a nervous grin.
“Well, glad that’s taken care of,” he said.
“Eating time!” Pinkie exclaimed.
The group of three each grabbed a chair, circled them around Twilight, and dug into their food. Twilight looked over to her friends in between bites, each time feeling a warm safety in her chest. The taste of the hayburger and hayfries made her mouth water, and taste buds shiver in excitement. A warmth subsumed her body as the food traveled into her stomach.
Spike’s gaze kept careful watch of Twilight, making sure she was truly well. Pinkie and Rainbow were content to put most of their attention to eating, though for Pinkie that didn’t mean much as she finished in record time. Pinkie licked her lips clean of the last bits of ketchup that had spurted out.
“Mmm! Tasty!” Pinkie said.
Pinkie looked over to Twilight, who was still in the middle of enjoying her food.
“Hey Twilight, what’s that thingy you do when you put your hooves together and talk to somepony who’s not there?”
Twilight looked over to Pinkie, her eyes widened.
Pinkie continued unabated, “I mean, I know lots of foals who have imaginary friends, but I didn’t know you had any!”
Twilight swallowed her food, her brows furrowing.
How to explain this to Pinkie…
There was a pause, as Twilight’s eyes searched her thoughts.
“Well first off, it’s not an imaginary friend. It’s the thing I talked about yesterday, you know, God?” Twilight asked.
“Oh, so like Discord, but something else?” Pinkie said, her smile still standing.
Twilight put her face into her hooves.
“Maybe? It’s too early to be answering these kinds of questions,” Twilight said, lowering her hooves again.
“It’s like the old gods right? The ones from, like, before recorded history?” Spike said.
Twilight looked over to him, a feeling of pride in Spike’s ability to at least grasp the basics of what was happening.
“Kind of. We don’t know a lot about the old gods, they’re all just myths and legends, but this still seems different. He’s the God ! The God of Mary’s world. I have no clue if He’s here now, if He’s been here in the past, or if He’ll be here in the future, I just don’t know,” Twilight said, finishing her rant with an exasperated sigh.
“All I know is I’m gonna keep up with Mary’s traditions until I get a better understanding of it all, because if Celestia’s right about what Discord said, then He’s real and His covenant is still with me,” Twilight finished.
Spike huffed, “So what, you’re gonna start acting like those weird religious creatures.”
The contempt in Spike’s tone put a stone in Twilight’s stomach.
“No…” she said softly.
“It’s just gonna be little things. Praying before meals, before bed, that sort of thing,” Twilight gave a nervous smile.
Twilight jumped to continue, shaking her head, “And no, if you’re thinking I’m gonna start acting like that one griffon that came to Ponyville proselytizing about her gods, that’s not at all what this is going to be like.”
Rainbow looked at Twilight with a raised brow, “Why? I mean, what’s the point?”
Twilight took a breath as she pondered.
“Well, that’s…kind of complicated. I mean if you want me to give the actual answer it’s to be saved from eternal death and have eternal life in God’s kingdom, but I’m guessing that doesn’t mean much to you,” Twilight said.
“Yeah, you lost me,” Rainbow said.
Twilight shook her head fervently, “Just don’t worry about it.”
“Okay! So when are we going home?” Pinkie said.
Spike looked over to Pinkie, “I’d say as soon as Twilight’s done eating.”
Twilight nodded, “I agree. I need to focus on getting back to normal life…as best as I can.”
With that she returned to her food.
***
Twilight’s eyes squinted through the harsh light of the summer midday sun, her vision fixed on the ‘closed’ sign hanging from the door of the Golden Oaks. A rumbling guilt for having had so suddenly thrown off her schedule fighting for space with the drowning heat. The sound of the door closing behind her, echoed through the empty foyer of the library. Everything was tidy and in place. Relief came over Twilight for Spike and Pinkie’s cleaning up of yesterday’s party. Not enough relief came however to completely overshadow the fact that the upstairs was currently flooded in an unkempt mess of her own work.
“I almost forgot this was here,” Spike said with growing ire as he followed Twilight up to the second floor.
Twilight turned to Spike, raising her hoof in defiance of Spike’s worries.
“You really don’t have to help me clean this up. You’ve already done so much just putting up with me,” she said.
Spike looked around the mess, and back to Twilight with a raised brow.
“Are you sure?” he asked, hands on his hips.
“I’m sure,” she responded with a small smile.
“Great!” Spike exclaimed, jumping down the stairs to the foyer.
Twilight relished the opportunity to flex her organizational muscles. She collated the mess between the unused paper, the finished and unfinished writings, the books, the quills and inkwells, the…miscellaneous things like the pillows and mirror. That last one gave her pause, and caused her to go on what felt like a stealth mission back to the basement to return the mirror.
The time alone felt like a cold shower after a hot day. Just time to herself, she could freely talk to herself as she worked, her thoughts spoken aloud. All that was kept in were thoughts of the time since last morning. Twilight gained strength in her core knowing how well her friends had taken to the new change. It almost felt like it had gone too well! That gave her some pause, she remembered the times her friends spoke very little about certain things. Did anypony truly directly say they approved of some of Mary’s differences?
Before Twilight could continue that train of thought, the last bit of mess was put away.
“Well that didn’t take long at all,” Twilight said with pride.
She put a hoof to her chin, as she thought through how to deal with her friendships.
“I usually end up spending a lot of time with them all each week anyway, so I’ll have time to get used to it all.”
With a satisfied snort, Twilight went over to her study desk and laid out her organizational calendars. Yesterday had shifted things around a lot.
“Right, because I totally needed a separate color coded and non-color coded calendar.”
Twilight grabbed her sets of pens and colored markers.
“I could just fit that all into one with diacritic marks and symbols. Which means I’ll have to make a key!”
Twilight smiled the fullest smile she had since last morning.
Author's Note
Basically two weeks for 7k words is...a little sad, but also not really?
Again, no promises as to when or if anything else will get done :)
SPOILER: ~~Next mind merge will be 3 chapters from now!~~
6: Twilight’s Writings II
July 3rd, 1003
Dear diary,
It is currently three in the morning as I write. I’m not rewriting that sentence for being overspecific, I’m too tired.
I’m so glad I have Owlowiscious to help me.
I used to handle long nights so much better than this, but some human had to go mess it up for the both of us. I hate some of my inherited traits.
Point is, today is now technically my third day after having had my mind merged with the human Mary, this all having started the morning of the first of July. Is there any meaning in it being on the first? Who knows.
~~Today~~ Yesterday was fine. I mostly worked on rescheduling everything, which did require a lot of going around and getting up to date with anypony I had to shift schedules around with. I was afraid I’d be forced to explain what had happened to somepony, but most were eager to accept my miniscule effort to sweep that whole day under the rug. I got to eat some more of Pinkie’s cupcakes, always a treat. Rarity went out of her way to invite me to some time at the spa, which despite being an unplanned excursion I accepted for some reason.
I did enjoy the spa trip. Though it is only with hindsight that I can say I find it funny, if not still annoying and embarrassing, that the mere context of being at a spa somehow made the concept of nudity more…well you know. ~~Thank God I don’t have a dick, it’d be impossible to~~
I forgot to even mention why I’m writing any of this down.
I need a way to ground myself and accept that this is all still real. Being able to read in my own words that what I remembered happening happened helps in that. In addition I have a feeling that this journal may become useful in the same way that the Journal of Friendship will. Not to imply this journal is going to point us all to some item intrinsically tied to an experience which exemplifies our element and then use those to open that mysterious Tree of Harmony chest, but…
Speaking of, I have no idea how I’m going to deal with that now. The series of events that led to that box being opened are now thrown off and I’m spoiled as to how it works! I have no clue what will happen now!
Too tired. Goodnight
-Twilight Mary Sparkle
July 4th, 1003
Dear diary,
Yesterday and today were thankfully filled with time all to myself, with only the occasional excursion. I was able to convince many of my friends that I just needed a couple days of less time outside. Having couched the idea in it only being less time was a big part as to why I believe it was successful.
I still kept my obligation to my biweekly tea time with Fluttershy on the 3rd, which was involved to say the least. Having not thought to make anypony keep my interest in meat secret, the information had reached Fluttershy and, to put it lightly, she was extremely interested. There was a lot of initial coaxing her down from a lot of fears and worries, but surprisingly after that she must have had some sort of epiphany because she was suddenly extremely understanding of my situation. I remember specifically her bringing up the fact that ponies are technically opportunistic herbivores.
Even if I can eat meat it doesn’t mean I should.
Despite how much it still unnerves me to do so, I might try praying about that tonight, whether meat is okay to eat or not. I know that it was fine in Mary’s world, but…
On another topic, I’ve been mulling over an old mystery brought back to the forefront due to Mary’s knowledge: Pinkie Pie. Sadly there still is nothing conclusive, yes shockingly I’ve been disappointed about that, go figure. The theory which simultaneously makes the most sense and is the most frightening is that whole idea that when Pinkie contained Discord’s magic for a short duration in the finale, that somehow managed to affect her throughout time, including beforehoof.
It’s stupid and has no basis, but I’ve been dealing with a lot more of that in my head recently anyway.
I finally feel like I have even a small grasp on where to start with creating smokeless powder. But even then, so much of my research has just been figuring out where the sources I currently have point to so I can go get those original sources! In addition, it looks like I’ll mostly have to work off translations of Griffon texts which will hopefully not result in any insurmountable issues. It’ll take some time for everything I’m ordering to arrive.
There was a single line in my one book on Griffon warfare which mentioned the attempted military application of Dynamite in artillery, which failed entirely due to being essentially too powerful for the gun to handle. As far as I understand, dynamite is our current closest relative on the journey to smokeless powder so I must now investigate the reason why it doesn’t work and perhaps in doing so I can create a more effective solution.
-Twilight Mary Sparkle
July 5th, 1003
Dear diary,
I’m starting to actually get used to random ponies walking into the library again. To be honest, it’s kind of nice to just interact with so many ponies and it just all be normal. I even went and stocked up on more ink and quills and it felt… mostly normal. I can’t tell sometimes if ponies are looking at me weird because I’m more strange than normal or just because I’ve always been a little strange.
I had a lovely conversation with Cheerilee today who came to pick up some material on algebra. I’d say she reminds me of my mom, Sarah, but she was more the type of teacher who somehow got away with occasionally cursing in front of the students—which somehow only made her more popular with them all. Cheerilee is certainly not like that.
I hope my family on Earth is doing okay. I hope my—I guess—ex -boyfriend is doing fine too. I’ll pray for them.
On the research side, I came to a dead end on trying to figure out anything more with smokeless powder so I went and checked up on that whole theory of relativity E=MC^2 thing, and yep it’s out there. It wasn’t even that hard to find.
I know in Mary’s world there was some pushback against the theory but yikes . The only reason I could find it is because it’s so darn infamous, being torn to shreds by just about every physicist of worth. I ended up being able to read through the original paper through another paper which criticized it line-by-line, which ultimately meant it included the entirety of the original within.
I didn’t know I was going to have to come in to defend Mr. Hoofstein (yes this universe’s Einstein, I’m trying not to think about it too hard). To be fair I didn’t know I was going to have to do anything I am right now.
-Twilight Mary Sparkle
July 6th, 1003
Dear diary,
I finally got the main brunt of my ‘Future Plans’ piece done, motivated by events of the day. However…that’s not as great of an accomplishment as I wish it was. To be frank, it’s a seven and a half long bullet list of items. I simply don’t have the knowledge necessary to do more than that.
Rarity and Rainbow Dash both randomly popped in today, though not at the same time. Rainbow Dash was somewhat expected, because I knew she’d be coming by to pick up the newest Daring Do book as soon as it arrived, but she came over way before that. She practically woke me up with how early she dropped by. Spike ended up making breakfast for all three of us.
Apparently Dash had got the idea from thinking about Daring Do to ask me what I knew about our future exploits, since I’d mentioned during my ‘Welcome to Equestria’ party that Mary knew Twilight as a fictional character. I gotta say, I’m kind of proud of Rainbow Dash of all ponies for putting the pieces together that I might have future knowledge.
I told her about as much as I know, which sadly isn’t much. I wish I could claim to have been some sort of super fan who knew every episode by heart, but I actually really fell out of watching the show later on. There were…some revelations…which Rainbow Dash had big reactions to. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the look on her face when I told her that—as far as I understood it—her and Applejack got together some twenty to forty years in the future.
It was not entirely a look of disapproval from her, I’ll say that much. Still, that seemed to be the last straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back of her belief that everything I said would 100% come to fruition—as I had continuously been trying to tell her throughout the conversation.
Ultimately the proceedings came to a good conclusion in that she encouraged me to work on remembering as much as I can, and she’d work on getting everypony together tomorrow to discuss.
My conversation with Rarity was not as grandiose, thankfully. She’d decided that I may be in need of a new wardrobe since I had been making my way all around Ponyville the past few days in what scant choices of clothing I had. I have half a mind to say she found a sort of perverse humor in my touchyness with nudity. She came nowhere close to Pinkie Pie flat out mooning me at the train station, but she might as well have done the equivalent through conversation.
Still, she retained enough professionalism to get down a whole host of ideas in order to create an entire line of clothes fit for my style and tastes designed for daily wear. I’m excited to see the fruits of her labor.
-Twilight Mary Sparkle
Future Plans
By Twilight Mary Sparkle
Mary, the half of me which was human, was a fan of a piece of fiction which bears striking resemblance to my current reality. However, things are different. No knowledge will be applicable one-to-one, and even if it were, the very fact that I’ve experienced this mind merge would invariably change the series of events I know through my memories on Mary’s side.
All of the events and information gleaned from that aforementioned source will be hereafter referred to as being from the alpha (α) timeline/alpha Equus/etc. Events and information from our current reality will be referred to as being from the beta (ß) timeline/beta Equus/etc.
1.Return Tirek to Tartarus.
The first of many villains to come in the near future and attempt to ruin Equestria. In the alpha timeline he escapes during the cerberus’s absence from his post guarding Tartarus. Eventually his return was noticed, but his whereabouts remained unknown. It wasn’t until Celestia tasked Discord with locating him that events began to escalate. Tirek managed to convince Discord to work for him in overthrowing Equestria. All three princesses, besides me, bestowed into me all of their magic in order to hide it from Tirek—who was unfamiliar with my existence. This plan failed completely due to the various clues which hinted at my existence and the very fact that Discord, who was working for Tirek, knew of me quite well.
With Discord’s help, my friends were easily captured. It was only then that my friends learned of Discord’s betrayal. Fittingly, it was just then that Discord was betrayed in turn by Tirek, as he absorbed Discord’s chaos magic. It was then that a conflict was inevitable. In that conflict the Golden Oaks was destroyed. Ultimately the fighting came to a stand still, with Tirek offering a deal: Give over all of the alicorn magic within me to him, and he would release my captured friends, discord included.
I agreed to the deal, and with my friends returned we journeyed to the Castle of the Two Sisters, down to the Tree of Harmony. I had realized what the keys to the box were, through going through our Journal of Friendship. Each of the elements, other than myself, had a moment in the journal where they came to a realization related to their element, and each of these moments corresponded to an item they’d each kept.
With those items, plus an amulet given to me by Discord who had originally received it from Tirek in dishonesty as a sign of good faith and friendship, the box was opened. The items literally transformed into keys upon contact with the chest.
A new power was unleashed, engulfing me and my friends, and it was with that power that Tirek was defeated. The chest then proceeded to fly towards Ponyville, dig itself into the ground, and formed a massive crystal tree castle with a round table at its center, with chairs for each of the elements.
If in the beta timeline we can find Tirek, without Discord’s aid, before he gains too much power we may be able to stop him early.
2.Read through the Journal of Friendship to find the known items to unlock the Tree of Harmony chest.
In the alpha timeline Discord had read through the Journal of Friendship after all the important events of everypony but me had occurred and then modified the journal to have color coded tabs for each of those important moments.
Without this aid in the beta timeline, we will have to look through the pages manually to discover which events are the important ones and what item correlates to it.
Sadly, my memory of the alpha timeline is lack-luster, so I cannot list out what the items are here. Hopefully upon reading the journal certain passages will jog my memory.
2a.Discover the rest of the items.
The journal may be incomplete, there may be ponies who have yet to experience their important event and thus do not yet have their item. I am unsure of how we are to discover the remaining items, especially my own, if the beta timeline plays out too differently.
3.Find Starlight Glimmer and try to convince her of the error of her ways using future and past knowledge, such as knowledge about her childhood I shouldn’t otherwise have.
After the creation of the new castle and its round table, it is discovered that the table also acts as a magical map of Equestria. Every so often images of our cutie marks would be shown on the map moving to somewhere else that those ponies weren't currently located. This would be accompanied by the affected ponies also having their cutie marks glow.
In short, the map would call us to solve friendship problems in particular locations, but only in specific groupings.
The discovery of Starlight Glimmer was due to one of these callings, where we were all called to a remote village far off the edges of Equestria.
To make an incredibly long story short, Starlight Glimmer was—in an attempt to fix what she saw as a failing of cutie marks—running a village where all the inhabitant’s cutie marks were stripped away. We defeated her in the end, but she escaped.
Later she learned of how all of the element’s cutie marks were tied back to Rainbow Dash’s performance of the first sonic rainboom. With her vast magical knowledge, and the help of the crystal map in the castle as a focus, Starlight Glimmer traveled back in time to prevent the sonic rainboom from occurring.
Spike and I managed to follow her, and it was only through many attempts, which led us to seeing various possible futures, that we eventually convinced Starlight Glimmer of the terrible consequences of her actions and gave her a hoof in friendship to redeem herself.
She would become a pupil of mine, and slowly grow and prove herself as a student of friendship over the years.
4.[Unknown]
Sadly, it is about here that my knowledge of the alpha timeline starts to wane, I know only the largest, most critical events that proceed, but I’m quite sure I’m missing some of it.
5.Stop Cozy Glow.
Continuing even further into the alpha timeline I would form a school of friendship, inviting creatures from all across the world to attend. One student would prove to be a hidden seed of evil, a very young filly named Cozy Glow. Despite her age, she is determined to…I believe rid Equestria of all of its magic. If I’m correct, then the timeline I know of in which all life is dead is due to her, but I could be mistaken.
I have no knowledge of how she tries to implement her plans, I only know she is a potent force of evil.
6.Find and stop Grogar.
Somehow the ancient evil, Grogar, returns in the alpha timeline. I’m not even sure if the events which allow this will occur in the beta timeline, but it’s still best to be on the lookout.
7.Inoculate Equestria to racism to prevent the return of the Windigos.
The penultimate event of the alpha timeline is the return of the Windigos to Equestria. All I know of this event is that in the alpha timeline Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy Glow team up in order to influence the Earth Ponies, Unicorn, and Pegasi to all be distrusting of one another.
July 7th, 1003
Dear diary,
The meeting discussing Future Plans was, by design, rather short. I do wish I could say there was some amazing revelation given by one of my friends, but they’re all more in the dark than I am about anything that could potentially happen in the future. It’s still good to get them a little more caught up and prepared.
There was a mix of condolences and otherwise about the potential loss of my library. Rarity couldn’t help but ogle over the idea of an entire castle made out of gems.
We then proceeded to pour over the Journal of Friendship together with great results. In short, we’ve discovered with certainty the items for everypony! Well, except for me, since that whole series of events is far from happening.
The journey to the Tree of Harmony was short, and the items all turned to keys for the box upon contact, just as I predicted. I wish I could say that I didn’t prance around like an excited school filly and boasted in everypony’s face about how I was right when it happened. I don’t think I’ll ever live that down.
I started another line of research, this time into computing, just as something to take my mind off of trying to prepare for the future. I just so happened to have received the latest edition of the Manehatten Institute of Science journal and, to make a long story short, they were very quick to respond to the telegram of a princess—me—asking to buy one of their latest computers for my own research! I can’t wait for it to arrive!
-Twilight Mary Sparkle
July 8th, 1003
Dear diary,
After yesterday being so focused on serious topics, it was nice to go back to a relatively normal day. I finally got some time to hang out directly with Applejack, as apparently that hadn’t happened yet since the merge. Her and Applebloom were doing some work on the truck and AJ thought I’d have some expertise—I really don’t have much, but I was happy to help. Honestly, as expected, Applebloom was the biggest contributor to fixing up that truck.
It’s strange knowing how she’s not going to end up with a cutie mark in something mechanical or engineering related despite her talents. Or at least it’s very probable she won't. I still have no clue how much of an impact my changing of events will have. There has yet to even be anything from an episode of the show, it’s all just been filler time. The next episode is going to be that trip to Rainbow Falls. I just know it. Again, I’m not extremely familiar with the entire show, but I know that the trader’s exchange was the scene of some episode I don’t remember.
Makes me nervous just thinking about it. I’ve done all the research I can on the event and there is really nothing special, nothing that pops out as important. If anything my role there will likely just be as a rubber stamp for the whole affair. Even if I did know more I’d be afraid to attempt to change anything unless it’s something major, like Tirek.
-Twilight Mary Sparkle
July 9th, 1003
Dear diary,
Today was reshelving day. It…took longer than I expected, even after I had accounted for it taking longer than normal! Needless to say, I’m not very happy with myself. I just kept tripping up over things I normally don’t!
Spike’s been understanding, and extremely helpful. I’m so glad to have him as my assistant. I need to do more to show him that, though hopefully in a way that doesn’t involve him over gorging himself on rubies...at least not too often. A day off might do him well. It’s only now that I realize how much he’s been taking up my slack.
I’ve been trying not to think about it. I lay here in bed, about to go to sleep after this whole day of not seeing a wink of the outdoors or my friends.
Probably not a good idea to avoid one’s friends as the princess of friendship, even if that wasn’t my intention.
-Twilight Mary Sparkle
***
Twilight hovered the diary into the drawer of her nightstand, along with the quill and ink she used, in her magic. Her head turned to her right, her eyes slowly meandering over the vista of Ponyville outside her bedroom window. The darkened figures of thatched roofs were barely distinguishable from the shadowed mountains beyond them. The stars blanketed the sky, their twinkling catching Twilight’s gaze in a net, like a moth to a flame.
She thought about the week so far, how each day progressively melded into the next. Tomorrow will just be another day. It seemed impossible that she was here, living it, but she was. She couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to come. It was too serene, too simple, too easy to just blend into this life. Something had to come and knock down her tower, it just had to be on its way right now!
This was how it happened each night. It made it hard to sleep with all that worry. She focused on her friends, how they’d each shown such amazing grace with her, each in their own way. She rested her head against the pillow, as she snuggled into the bedsheets. Her lidded eyes couldn’t decide whether to close or stay open. Her vision blurred as she focused inward.
The image of her friends that first day, huddled around the board game. The image of Pinkie in front of her face, surprising her with the whole affair. The image of Pinkie standing over her, protecting her from her friend’s stinging remarks. The image of the trees passing by through the window as Pinkie sat perfectly still across from her. That last one was so very unlike her…
Author's Note
Another short chapter to bridge over to some events leading up.new stuff~
Excited :)
