A humble life? Nah! I'm gonna be an Adventurer!
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A humble life? Nah! I'm gonna be an Adventurer!
Author's Note
Intro!: Hey hey people Sseth here. (Nah I'm just messing with ya)
Disclaimer!: I have no Idea what I'm doing. This story is largely improvised so please don't expect a masterpiece. I'm not Picasso. I have no confidence in my own writing. But since i put in the effort to write this i might as well post it. Also my friend pressured me into releasing this. Arch_Magos_Boog_Trad this is your fault.
A humble life? Nah! I'm gonna be an Adventurer!
Hi my name is William, but most people just call me Will. I have been transported to Equestria after buying a Maccabian Dueling Sword from a Merchant at Comic-Con. I was only there with a bunch of my friends to have a good time, not be ripped away from home forever. Yet here i am. A dude from Britain, dressed as a Krieger in motherfucking Equestria of all places and not one of the exciting alternate ones, nope just regular old equestria.
Since that day i have been stuck in ponyland for over a year now and i am starting to really miss my home. Princess Twilight said she and the other Princesses are doing everything in their power to try and get me back home, but so far their efforts have proven to be in vain. Might as well tell me 'Yeah magic can't do shit. I'm sorry.' and then bitchslap me in the face with a wet towel and then thunderpunch me in the gut for good measure.
I tried asking Discord to take me back home, yet he denied me saying 'I would if it weren't for THAT GUY being there, he'd kill me if i tried to do that.' and he left it at that. Understandable.. I guess?
It's not all bad though. For one I did not get put into the Crapsack Worlds of Fallout: Equestria or Empty Horizons or even worse some bullshit Grimdark Version of Equestria like in one of those old Crappypastas from 2012. Fuck that.
Sure the natives are annoying and cringe sometimes, but i have found friends here that i like. There's my Ogres and Oubliettes (or OnO) group, which include Spike, Discord & Big Mac. Then there's also Lyra and BonBon, with which i am roommates with since i don't wanna live alone and don't want to waste my income on a house where i am yet again all alone.
Some of you might ask what I have been doing for the past year. Well aside from outing opaline and her Plans, which I was officially recognized as a Hero for by the Princesses, not much in all honesty. Sure I play O&O with my group every other Week or so, but aside from that I have NOTHING to tell you here.
For all the stuff being considered exciting in the Show has already happened. Well ..Aside from me ousting the Villain of G5 and the Fall of Equestria to Twilight, foiling opalines Plans in the process. Also G5 wouldn't realistically happen if the pones lost all their magic, they'd be reduced to thralls to the other races that don't rely so heavily on magic for everything. Opposable thumbs for the win i guess.
I for one have Just been living, finding Work and hanging out with Friends the past year.
Don't get me wrong I actually like being an archeologist/paleontologist and whatnot for the canterlot museum, digging Holes all day with my repurposed Krieg shovel. Excavating all manner of stuff, from dinosaur bones to ancient ruins and pottery. Yet I can't shake off the feeling that something is missing in my life.
Though I am Just happy that None of the fuckin crazy ass bullshit of Warhammer followed me here and I am left legit in peace. Plus I only had the shovel and the dueling sword on me when I arrived. No real scifi nonsense on me at all really. Yes I know how to fence and whatnot, but against the factions & creatures of 40k I am nothing. Like what would you expect of me? I am not Ciaphas Cain, I can't 1v1 solo a Daemon for crying out loud!
It seemed as though nothing unexpected or overly exciting would happen in my lifetime here. At least that was what I thought until that one day. Where everything kind of changed. In a pretty funny way.
It was a beautiful day, a few clouds hanging in the sky, the sun shining, a crisp & gentle breeze kissing my skin, and the scent of earth entering my nostrils as I worked, digging all the while. My Gasmask hanging around my neck.
Today I started early for work so I could leave earlier as well. Get some Cider and Ale with the Boys and release some of the stress from work and the fact that my life is now a kids friendly Cartoon.
While I was humming 'Diggy Diggy Hole' to myself I came upon something in the dirt. At first I thought it was just a regular old stone, but then i saw the gleaming red light that emanated from it. A Dark Black and Red gem. A Bloodstone. Then I heard the voices in my head. It was gibberish, but I felt their malevolence in my bones. Promises of Power, Riches and whatnot if I only did as it says. I decided 'fuck this shit', I am not dealing with evil bullshit today and swung my shovel down at the thing. It broke into a million pieces and a shockwave sent me flying out of the hole I was digging in a wide arc. Hopefully I didn't just release a daemon from it's prison. Nah it'll probably be fine. (For i am alone the honored one [I'm sorry]).
Good luck that I had my Krieg uniform on, helmet and all as was my habit now, plus I fell on top one of the tents we raised up earlier that day cushioning my fall. The tent ripped and I crashed back first into a table inside. My Boss was NOT exactly pleased with me as I ruined his temporary housing. Whoops.
After that fiasco I went into the nearby town without my helmet or gas mask on, 'Stallions Rest' as was typical for this world with equine related pun names, sadly none of the boys decided to join me today, I was hoping to find a tavern to wet my tongue and get some food in me. Ponyland liquor is often not very good or strong for that matter, but I have developed a taste for griffin & minotauran ale and mead, that stuff was good, Pony drinks just aren't that strong.
Soon enough i found a tavern by the name of 'the Prancing Pony', back on earth you'd get sued for that by the tolkien estate but here it just made me chuckle, remembering the good old times with my nerd friends back home. I wonder how they are right now. No matter where I went I always kept thinking about them. God do I miss them.
I entered and what greeted me was a mostly empty bar with only a few patrons in there, one clearly drunk griffin sitting in the corner. I moved up to the bar and rung a tiny bell on the counter which gave high pitched *DING*.
A unicorn mare with a white coat and red wavy mane trotted up towards the counter and asked "What can i get for you big boy?"
"Your best ale if you will and some fish and chips if you serve that," I replied nonchalantly.
"I'll see to that good sir. We have Fish imports for our griffin patrons as well as some Minotauran ale. So your order is no problem at all," she said which was a huge relief as I have had trouble in the past getting either decent drink or meal. Like Fuck am I gonna start eating Hay Burgers or Fries no thank you.
Whilst I was waiting for my food and drink to be delivered, I eyed the tavern and its patrons a bit more.
There was the afore mentioned drunk griffin in one booth and two more stallions at a table playing some sort of card game over drinks and bits. Aside from that the tavern had a few more ponies sitting in the booths. Two flags hung down from the ceiling, one for the griffin kingdoms the other for equestria. Given the towns history as a hub for trade and joined community between griffins and ponies, it was not exactly surprising. The Jazz playing over a jukebox in the background was a nice touch tho.
After just relaxing for a few minutes and listening to the music my order came in. "Here's your food mister," she said levitating a tray onto the counter on it was a typical Fish and Chips like you'd get anywhere in england to my surprise along with a light yellow ale.
"FOOD?!," spoke the drunken griffin that sat in the corner booth, turning the word the way he said it into a vulgarity. All eyes in the tavern had turned on him, some of them glares, after his proclamation. As he stood up I could see his brown lions coat and white eagle head. He stumbled his way over and took the stool next to me. "Give me another Ale!," he said more forcefully than he should've perhaps. The waitress pouts at his tone but moves to comply with the order regardless, or at least she pretended to.
He then turned to me. "Can you believe this?!," he questioned me, I had no Idea what he was talking about, but I replied "Uh.. no.. believe what exactly?"
"No one will sponsor me!," he railed.
"Sponsor for what dude?," I asked trying to eat my meal.
"For the voyage across the world!," he continued.
"What voyage across the world?," I said trying to show some sympathy while having no idea what he was talking about, taking a few sips of my ale.
"Mhshubl Blurgl!," that was the last thing he got out before collapsing face first unto the counter then collapsing off his stool and onto the floor, passed out drunk. His ordered ale never came.
I was thoroughly confused as to what just happened and asked the waitress what he was blabbering on about. She told me that this 'Voyage' apparently was some kind of project of his that found no sponsors within the griffin kingdoms. I asked if this guy had a room for the night and she said no, he wasted all his bits on drinks. And I didn't want to waste mine on a room for him either. So after I finished my meal and drank my ale I paid the unicorn waitress 7 bits and picked the drunken griffin up over my shoulder and carried him back to our camp. It had already turned night by then.
I plopped the drunk griffin onto one of the spare bunks and settled in for the night myself. I dreamt of airships and adventures that night, something that would make me take out my dueling sword for use in combat, not having it be a wall decoration any longer.
The next morning I woke with a slight pain in my back. All because of that stupid evil artefact that flung me out of that damn hole. Fuck them evil artefacts. All my homies and I hate them evil artifacts. Like imagine being evil because someone told you to be evil, that's cringe, if you are gonna be evil then do it like nestlé you fuckin posers.
I stood up and headed to the mess tent to get myself a coffee. We don't have that much variety or choice in our coffee so we have to take it black (like my soul). I made one extra for the griffin I carried into our camp yesterday and headed towards the bunk I so unceremoniously dumped him on. He was still slightly inebriated. I set his cup of caffeine on the nightstand next to him and began waking him up.
"Wh-What?," he mumbled.
"Bro don't you 'what?' me now, it's 7am, time to get off your lazy feathers.," I replied.
"Alright alright I am awake geez.," he said rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
I pulled up a chair and sat down in front of him. "So what was this about a 'Great Voyage' yesterday," I inquired more than slightly curious to hear it from the griffin now that he wasn't intoxicated and could talk properly.
"Oh did I talk somewhat about that with you? Look I am sorry but I can barely remember what happened yesterday.", he began "Not even your face, it's all kind of a blur. Could you explain what happened please?", he asked genuine concern on his face. Like what did he expect me to say? That he fought people or some crap?
"Okay Man you got shitfaced and complained about how nobody would fund your expedition. Then you collapsed piss ass drunk and I had to carry you to our camp. And that's how you are here dude.", I explained.
"Then i have to say my thanks to you ..sir?", he inquired.
"William.", I replied flatly, extending my hand for a ..handshake? ..talonshake? Whatever.
He took it and gave his name "Gerhart Gallert Grindwald."
"So Gerhart.", i began handing him his coffee and taking a sip of my own, it tasted very bitter but it helped a lot to drive away the last remnants of sleep. "What will you do now? Find somebody that gives a damn, because i might be able to help you with that."
"You can What?", he said disbelief evident in his voice.
I rolled my eyes at that. "I said i might be able to help you. You see I work for the Canterlot Museum and they might just be interested in that 'Great Voyage' of yours and frankly so am I.", I countered "Now please, tell me about this project of yours."
He looked flustered at that and took a few sips from his cup, probably to get his wits about and then he began to speak. "Oh! ..uh the Great Voyage is supposed to be a journey around the whole globe, a circumvention if you will. It has never been done before and doing this could tell us all more about the world we are living in. Explore new Lands, Continents and meet with new cultures and expand foreign influence. Now see i already have started up a company called 'the eastwind trading company', with which I would help solidify trade deals throughout the new regions that could be discovered. And I have already spoken with talented cartographers and Windriders (Sailers) that would be willing to join me. The main problem is we don't have a big backer in the griffin kingdoms willing to sponsor such a risky venture.", he finally finished looking at me with expectant eyes.
I sat for a moment in contemplation, then replied. "If i can help you get a sponsor I want you to take me with you."
For a moment he looked confused. "What why?"
"Cause it sounds like fun. Look i have been digging holes and combing through dirt for the past year. If I can get you this sponsor and i have a big suspicion the Canterlot museum and the Princess will be very interested in it, I want in.", I said looking him straight in the eyes brokering no argument. Like hell am i gonna let this opportunity slip past me.
He looked thoughtful for a moment before nodding and then we shook hands on it. I gestured for him to follow me and we headed straight to my boss' tent.
"Hey Boss! You in there?", I called out.
"What is it this time Will?", came a voice through the tent flap.
"I have a griffin here that you really should talk to.", i responded.
A coffee brown colored hoof opened up the tent flap and my boss gestured for us to come in.
"So." began my boss. "You are the griffin my digger carried in yesterday? I am Boss Hooves. What is it you want to talk with me so much about then?"
The conversation that followed lasted nigh until midday as Gerhart told my boss of his great ambitions.
The weeks that followed were passing by almost in a kind of trance for me. First we travelled back to Canterlot to meet with the Museum's highest authority then with Princess Twilight for an official/royal sponsorship and WE GOT IT. Time to find the One Piece baby! Wealth, Fame, Power. In the end I was gonna have all of that, but that I didn't know yet.
Then came the preparations. From me going back home and retrieving my sword, giving lyra & bonbon, my roommates one last hug goodbye, to discord and the boys throwing one last pony D&D session and while Spike deeply wanted join in on the adventure he had duties to perform, but we had fun nonetheless almost all the residents of ponyville wished me good luck for the voyage. It was heartwarming in a way to see how much the people of this world cared about my well being. Even if i wasn't that close to most of them.
Finally I was not just stuck anymore! The spirit of adventure had fully enraptured me. Of Course i saw the potential red flags here but couldn't bring myself enough to care, i wanted to be a part of history, i wanted to be free. I wanted to take out my dueling sword for a fight, to be a hero ..or a conqueror. In that order maybe. My blood was screaming for it.
And Gerhart wasn't idle either as he conscripted a crew of both ponies and griffins, acquired weapons and supplies for the crewmen, an airship along with a magitech star charter that records for well ..charts for Astroinertial Navigation which gets more accurate the more one uses it.
The Sponsorship came with one caveat though. Cultural Artefacts for the Canterlot Museum and Maps and History for The Canterlot Library. All of which Gerhart and I Intended to retrieve.
And now Finally after a month of preparation we now stand at the dock ready to face the unknown. This is it, it's the big leagues.
5 months into the Expedition
After months of sailing through the skies and mapping out Island after Island we finally came across the first inhabited one. And its inhabited by cannibal ponies. That have a lot of bone charms hanging around and apparently have a strength fetish. Lovely, just lovely. Oh yeah and they think I am some kind of deity now, because of my adamantium sword and the fact I slew their previous leader that tried to kill me. Happy fun times.
We secured some painted skulls, Headdresses, a runic language and not much else here.
It became really uncomfortable when the translator told me that they intended to rid me of my body and free my godly spirit from my mortal coil. At that point we packed our things and ran! It was kinda like in Pirates of the Carribbean with me screaming "Back you savages!" but i didn't scream about jars of dirt*. So that's a plus i guess.
*Unlike you roy.
10 months into the Expedition
After mapping out thousands of mostly uninhabited tropical islands, and only a handful of inhabited ones, we came upon a greater Landmass. An Island Nation that greatly resembled a fusion of Thailand and Japan back on Earth. Inhabited by both a race of eastern style dragons and Fox Spirits that refer to themselves as Kitsune.
While our stay here was mostly peaceful, this peace was mostly achieved through violence. For the past hundred or so years they were at war with one another only recently they came to peace. Our host was a massive Fire Dragon that is literally worshipped as a god. The Island Nation had plenty of Artefacts that they handed to us as a show of good will. From pottery, metal trinkets, Art, Myths & Legends and Religious Texts. Gerhart also negotiated several trade deals for the future.
We departed in peace after a brief stay to map out the Island*. Then we were on our way.
*Thanks for almost starting a diplomatic incident ..roy.
12 months into the Expedition
I hate Pirates! I hate Pirates so fucking much! No matter how many of them I slay, they just keep coming back!
We were beset by Pirates, a lot of Pirates, a fuckton of Pirates, TOO MANY GODDAMN PIRATES! Cold blooded lizard fucks & their heathen blood god! Did some things from warhammer follow me here after all? Or was it always there? Fuck if I know I am just tired of killing now.
Some might ask how we came into contact with sea faring pirates when we were flying in an airship. Well you see we had to land from time to time in order to get our bearings and resupply on food storages. That's how we came into striking distance for those lizard pirates scumfucks.
Those scum had the charming local custom of piling the skulls of their enemies on a single island as an offering to some dark god and unto the prows of their ships. Khorne would be proud, but i'm not impressed you savages!
By now even the rest of the crew had a more mercenary outlook on a lot of things. More hardier than before after the run in with the cannibals and the skull island. Now we all don't mind killing people now and it's really fucked up. I just wanna get away from here.
13 months into the Expedition
We came upon a windy desert Island mass, that held a few towns and mostly nomadic peoples. To our shock they were the same kind of lizard people as the Pirates, though they were not nearly as hostile as we could actually talk with them without them wanting to kill us. Upon reaching a walled town we were approached by a robed individual who motioned for us to follow as his lord wanted to see us. We later found out these lizardfolk were called the Spengii*.
The lords name was Ishum and he was the exiled ruler of the Spengii people after his brother successfully performed a coup and now ruled over the majority of the Spengii people with an iron fist. He implored us to help him rid his people of his brother Passhah Hassin. We agreed for a hefty sum of the kingdoms treasury, Artefacts and Histories, Lore and their Alphabet. The exiled king agreed.
*No thanks to you ..roy.
14 month mark into the Expedition
After i Killed the Usurper king in a Night Raid over the Capital we moved on after collecting our reward away from all this foul business. At this point i felt more like a mercenary than an Adventurer. I wonder if that was how the Adventurers of old felt in my World. I never expected this whole thing to turn so dark. But now that is done with and we can move on to other horizons. Hopefully bigger and better things. I was no longer the optimistic person that i was when we set sail, but a part of me still loved it. All of it.
17 month mark into the Expedition
While i might have been too much of a doomer, now life was rewarding me. Surrounded by Literal Amazonian Catgirls. It was a weebs wet dream. We found the ponyworld version of Fiji. Hell Yeah.
For weeks we have been doing nothing but lie on beaches and drinking coconut juice, while having plenty of hoes. The natives decorated us with flowers, welcomed us, fed us and gave us roofs over our heads and beds. It was paradise. They were especially interested in me as i was the most exotic thing or perhaps the most attractive thing they had ever seen. Here i was taking Pussyslaying to a whole nother level*.
Sadly that dream had to end and we stocked up on supplies. They had not many cultural artefacts that we could take with us or a written language for that matter, but they gave us what little Myths and Lore they had with us and bid us farewell on our voyage.
*And Roy wasn't getting ANY of that.
20 month mark into the Expedition
We sailed into a couple of storms and lost a few of our crew to the winds on our next path of the journey. May they not have died in vain.
The next few weeks we came upon a rocky and arid landmass that was inhabited by gargoyles, but not like those further to the west that Equestria and the rest of the world is aware of. They resembled more like those in the tv show 'Gargoyles' from the 90's. That being said they looked mostly human with the big exceptions of their wings, horns, claws, and their skin colors. They were a City state similar to Yharnam from Bloodborne, which was named Griothonia.
They themselves were welcoming but their king was not. As he was a terrible tyrant, doesn't help that he was also a necromancer and madman as well.
We first found out about him when he sent his undead minions to attack an innocent village just for the fun of it. Like he was the cringe kind of evil, comically evil. Most of the crew just wanted to get the hell out of there. Me and a few others decided not to stand idly by while he butchered his own people. We fended off his minions from the village and put them to their proper rest, I actually put my Krieg shovel to use then both in combat and to dig graves. Also I fought like a badass dual wielding my shovel and saber.
After that fiasco the village praised those of us that fought and shunned those that didn't. They were especially fascinated with me as I, according to them, looked just like the King or a alternate species version of him.
There were those amongst us that just wanted to go and leave this whole thing be, that being a third of the crew. They actually tried to stage a mutiny when we decided to stay and help these people. They didn't succeed of course and we had to tie them up and keep them prisoner for a while at least. Later we convinced the mutineers to help us fight the necromancer as he might look for other lands to conquer when he learns about a bunch of foreigners from unknown lands showing up on his doorstep, that being their homes.
We went about the country recruiting who we could to our cause of overthrowing the king. In that time we found out he was once a servant at the palace and overthrew the previous monarchy in order to get into power. His real name has seemingly been erased by him from the annals of history, now he only referred to himself as 'Ratash the Imperishable'. ..What a poser.
Where he got the knowledge about necromancy though is any ones guess. Another thing we found out about later.
We even met a few crazy gargoyles that had knowledge about black powder. And that my friends was we started blasting both with bombs and muskets. That was when the uprising really began. We Loaded our airship with as many bombs as we could and moved unto the palace whilst the well armed militias we formed distracted the undead hordes. Made carpet bombing the castle walls easy*. We destroyed the majority of the undead forces in our bombings as well**. After we dealt with the minions we were able to properly lay siege to it. That's not to say that we weren't attacked by the Usurper's mortal followers in our ship. We were attacked aplenty as we had to evade trebuchet shots and suffered from air raids since well ..gargoyles can well ..fly. But we had something they hadn't, muskets. Suffice to say we started blasting.
After that was dealt with I stormed into the castle with my saber in my right hand black blood coating the blade, my newly crafted hand cannon in the other and with all the big dick energy this mortal plane can handle. Soon I stumbled upon the throne room and there he was, resplendent in his own darkness. Sitting on the throne was yet another Usurper King that shall fall before me. Only this time his face looked exactly like mine. And I'm not gonna lie, he was kind of hot. But sorry ladies, you can't fix him. On his head there was a crown with a red and black stone on it, another Bloodstone with a shining red light emanating from it.
"So you are the creature that laid siege unto my palace, disgusting. If you only didn't look like me I might forgive your insolence up until this point and offer you a place at my side, but now..", he began to say in a deep voice like grinding stones, but I wouldn't let him finish.
"Okay you knockoff sombra, shut up, draw your weapon and face me in proper combat. Coward.", I started.
THAT REALLY pissed him off, especially when i started walking towards him.
"You worm would dare challenge a god?!", he said personally insulted. Really now? Did this guy have absolutely nothing original to say? Well ..Whatever. The cannibal ponies were more interesting than this guy is. But now it is mano a mano with this guy.
My walk became a full sprint as i moved into a jump attack on him. He quickly moved out of the way to his right as my saber sliced into his throne and summoned in a shower of red sparks his own blade, a black estoc. He answered my attack with his own and jabbed his sword straight, which i deflected with my own weapon, moving us into a swordlock. I maneuvered my pistol baring hand to point right at his guts, but at the last moment before i pulled the trigger he grabbed my wrist with his left hand and pointed it straight up making the shot go wide and echo in the hall.
I moved to headbutt him in the instant my ears started to ring and my helmet collided with his crown's jewel making it explode into a million shards sending us both flying.
I recovered as quickly as i could, being thoroughly winded. I could hear him approach.
"YOU DESTROYED IT! My Powers are now gone because of you! The voices no longer are there!", he roared.
"No Shit Sherlock. That was what i had suspected and had been aiming for.", i shot back. Getting back up unto my feet staring at his charging form and slid out of the way of yet another strike that aimed to spear through my heart. With one flap of his wings he had crossed the distance between us.
I reversed the grip on my pistol and smacked it upon his head, dazing him. Then I dropped my pistol and went for a thrust with my saber, which he blocked at the last second but it wasn't enough to stop my blade from cutting open his cheek. For a moment he was just confused as to what had just happened, but as he stood there i had moved my left hand into my pocket and used my most effective weapon yet.
"POCKET SAND!", i yelled out as i threw a fist full of sand right into his face. His one hand came up to his eyes as he howled in pain. And then i moved unto the attack. First slashing his right hand open and his sword away, then driving my saber straight. In a second it was over as i skewered him through his heart. Then we looked one another straight into each others eyes.
"You know.", I began. "I once encountered one of those stones before." At that he stared at me in shock.
"And ..what ..what did you ..do?", he asked blood leaking out of his mouth.
"Unlike you, i ignored the voices and then destroyed it.", i clarified and then went on. "And Unlike you I will get to finish things on my own terms. Something you'll never get." I finished and pulled my sword out of his torso, letting him fall to the ground, now dead.
After freeing the former princess, the usurper had kept in the dungeon, the rebellion celebrated like crazy. The Princess was beautiful with dark black hair, emerald green eyes, a heart shaped face and freckles and her skin was cream colored. Her name was Gina. During the celebrations we even danced with each another after SHE had asked me for one. The rest of our stay here on the Island we were busy, being celebrated as heroes and Gerhart was setting up more trade deals and securing artefacts.
Initially i had thought that Gina would take up the mantle of ruler, now that the necromancer was dealt with, but to all our surprise she asked to come with us, wanting to see the world and whatnot. We asked her what is to become of the Nation and she and the leaders of the rebels explained to us that they no longer have the interest of being ruled in a monarchy. Instead they chose to create from their revolution a Republic. I guess that's a win for Democracy. Murica Fuc Yeh.
We departed in peace with many more weapons than we had before, mostly pistols and muskets as our warbooty. Along with a former princess now on board.
*Thanks roy you were really helpful like ..not.
**Sorry mr necromancer, but you can't resurrect ash.
23 month mark into the Expedition
Toads. We came upon a swampy Land filled with 3 foot tall talking Toads with british accents and foul mouths*. They were nice enough i suppose, but that didn't mean they could offer me tea after calling me 6 foot tall 'wank stain'.
We didn't secure any meaningful artefacts in this short venture but we did make many trade deals with them and some of the Toads came along with us to form more trade relations with Griffonia and Equestria.
*Shut up roy ..i am not a Toad.
24 month mark into the Expedition
This is it. We are home. We reached the western edge of Equestria. And In this final month we reached Canterlot again, being welcomed back as heroes. Our mission ..was over.
Okay now, I don't think i was THAT bad of a companion. I just tried to kill everybody. -Yours Killroy
In the following years there were many more such voyages and on some of those I was even on myself. The Toads that came with us started a colony in the swampy lands of Equestria and Griffonia after setting up towns for trade.
Now one MIGHT be asking about the former princess and what became of her. Well she and I ended up getting married. And now we are expecting our first kid. Boy am i gonna have some crazy dad lore.
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...Now what are you guys still doing here. The story is over, go home.
