MORE Ponies in My House!

The very next day I heard scratching at my door...that sounded familiar. I smiled, and flung my door open, hoping to see my friends.

I was only partially disappointed.

There stood Rainbow, or "Bolt," but Fluttershy was nowhere in sight. Instead, she'd brought an orange pony with a blonde mane...who was wearing a cowboy hat. I took a step back, because I noticed the red ribbons tied in the blonde pony's tail, and I knew from visiting my grandfather's horse farm red ribbons means a horse is likely to bite and kick. Even so, I smiled and waved a hand at my friend. "Hi, Rainbow!" I gestured. "Who is this?" Rainbow threw a hoof over her friend's shoulder and gave her a hug, while the friend took off her (obviously a mare) hat and nodded up to me. I grinned again and stepped aside, as they both came in and looked around.

It was then I noticed Rainbow was wearing what looked like saddlebags, for the next thing she did was to open one with a wing, take out a pencil and a pad of paper, and then write me a note while holding the pencil in her mouth. That had to be an awkward way of writing, compared to the way I'd seen Twilight use her freaky magic, but it didn't look like Rainbow had any trouble. I guess they were used to doing things that way. When she finished, she tore the sheet off and gave it to me with a wing.

Sury it tuk sow log tu se yu Karl, butte i verri busi!

Tis mai frend Aplejck, an shi wat tu meat yu!

Plus, shi wat BEER! Yu haf?

I laughed and nodded, then went to get pen and paper of my own. At least now we had some way to talk to one another directly, even if "Bolt's" spelling sucked. I pointed to my couch and invited them to sit as I made my way over to the kitchen and started rummaging around the drawers, looking for a pen. I heard my TV click on and looked up to see Rainbow holding my remote in both hooves and using her nose to press the buttons. I shook my head and kept searching. I know I have a pen in here somewhere!

Then, just as I finally found a pen, they must have tuned into some sort of 'Micheal Bay' film, for the room was suddenly filled with the sounds of gunfire, explosions, and cool dialogue. I looked at the two, and they had both frozen, with eyes wide, staring at the screen in wonder. The remote fell listlessly out of Rainbow's hooves and onto the floor as she and her 'cowgirl' friend became practically catatonic, not even blinking as the explosions continued, more shots rang out, and I could hear the good guys exchanging wisecracks with the bad guys. Nothing I hadn't seen a million times, but judging from their reaction, this was obviously their first time.

I chuckled to myself and turned back to my cabinets, got out the popcorn, fired up my popcorn maker, and then checked my fridge for some beers. I had one six-pack left (Thank God!), so I grabbed three and took two over to my guests. I popped them open and set them on the coffee table in front of them, but they never took their eyes off the TV. A particularly loud explosion went off, and they both flinched and gasped but leaned forward together and kept watching. I took a moment to gaze at the screen and recognized the movie. Unfortunately for my guests, they'd tuned in during the last ten minutes of the film, so it would be ending soon.

By the time I'd put the fresh popcorn in a bowl and slathered it with melted butter, the credits were rolling, which had broken them both out of their stupor. They blinked, looked at each other for a second, and then began scrambling for the remote. The blonde pony got her hooves on it first, but Rainbow tried to grab it, which resulted in the two of them tussling and rolling all over my couch! And while I still couldn't understand their language, the things they were yelling at each other as they fought did NOT sound like, "Terribly sorry, old chap, but I DO believe I had this device first!"

"Hey!" I yelled, with a beer in one hand and a bowl of popcorn in the other, "Cut the shit! You're gonna break my furniture!" My tone must have gotten through to them, for they froze: the blonde pony..."Apple..Jack?" had one of Rainbow's wings in her teeth and a hoof in her face, while Rainbow had managed to get the remote back and was holding it out with one hoof while using the other to push her friend away, as they both were looking up at me. I quickly set my beer down and snagged the remote. I shook it at them as they let each other go and sat up.

"My house, MY remote!"

Sometimes, words aren't needed. They looked at each other, blushed, then looked up at me and nodded. Apple Jack looked around for her hat, while Rainbow suddenly noticed the beers. As her friend put her hat back on, Rainbow nudged her and pointed at the drinks excitedly! She gave her one while talking animatedly as the blonde listened with what seemed to be a skeptical expression. I set the popcorn on the table and seated myself next to Rainbow as she finally convinced her friend to take a sip.

...aaaaaand now I have TWO drunks on my hands...

The blonde didn't just LIKE her beer, she fucking LOVED it!

She took ONE sip of her beer, paused for a second, finished it off, grabbed Rainbow's, guzzled that one, and then looked up at the one in my hand...and smiled. I shook my head. "No way, bitch..." I took my time slooooowly drinking from my can, smacked my lips, and went, "MMMMM..." very loudly. She gazed up at me with a flat expression, then grabbed Rainbow's pencil and paper. After writing on it, she rolled the paper into a ball and bounced it off my nose. I picked it up, unrolled and read it:

jackass

I grinned at her, then held up one finger in a "wait right there" motion. Taking MY beer with me, I went to my fridge to get the last three. Her eyes grew wide as she saw me approaching with her new "Precious," but before I gave the beers to the two of them, I wrote my own note and gave it to her:

This is it. There are no more.

They both stared at the note, puzzling over it, then looked up at me. I sighed, then pointed to the beers, pointed back to my kitchen, and shook my head. I then set the beers down and opened them. Apple Jack and Rainbow looked at each other, then Rainbow began writing:

By mor?

I read the note and then shook my head. I took out my wallet, opened it to show them it was empty, and then pulled out my pockets to show the same. "Sorry, ladies: one week until my payday... no more cash until then."

They looked at me, then at each other...and then smiled. Rainbow wrote again:

noe problm

I frowned. "What do you mean, 'no problem?' I just said I'm bro...holy shit..."

I looked up from the note at the ponies, only to see Rainbow had pulled out a FUCKTON of hundred-dollar bills from her saddlebag.