MORE Ponies in My House!

"Umm...Twilight? She's...here again. She's insisting on speaking to you."

Twilight sat back at her desk and sighed. "Spike, how many times does this make?"

Spike twiddled with his claws. "I'm sure you know, Twilight." She nodded and started massaging her temples. After a few moments, she sighed again, took a deep breath, and looked up.

"Alright, send her in." Twilight put on a determined face as Spike turned, opened the door, and waved to the pony waiting outside in the hall. Immediately, there sounded an "eeeeeee!" and hoofsteps running for the door! Spike went, "waitwaitwait!" but was bowled over by a pale green unicorn mare with crazy eyes running into Twilight's study!

Screeching to a stop in front of her desk, Lyra practically shouted, "Thank you THANK YOU for seeing me, Princess Twilight!" She spun her head around, reached into a saddlebag, pulled out a bouquet of roses, and slammed them on the desk! "These are for you! To show my appreciation! Not like they're a bribe, or anything! JUST to show how much I LOVE you, and—" her mouth was suddenly wrapped in bright, purple arcane bands. Patiently, Twilight began.

"Lyra, we have been over and over this: I cannot move you forward on the queue, as there is an agreement between the Humans and Equestria on the number of ponies that can visit their world at a given time. In order for you to go sooner, somepony that is enjoying their vacation now would have to volunteer to cut it short so that you could enter their world early, and I do not have to explain to you how unfair that would be. I'm afraid you will simply have to wait, as I have explained to you many, many times. Am I clear?"

Lyra's shoulders visibly slumped before Twilight slowly released her from her restraints, and then she bowed her head as a tear slowly slid down her cheek. "...it's not fair..." she whispered. Twilight cocked her head.

"I'm sorry, I did not quite catch that."

Lyra looked up at her, her watery eyes filled with hurt. "I said, it's not fair. Nopony loves Humans more than me! I've been laughed at for years and called names behind my back because of my...my...love for Humans! I've spent so much time trying to convince everypony that they were real, and once they were discovered, and I was proven RIGHT, I should have been one of the first to be allowed to visit them once the portal was developed!" She sniffed as another tear fell down her face. "Why was I slighted, Your Highness? Can you at least tell me that?"

Twilight came around the desk and led her over to her lounge area, a place designed by Rarity for this very purpose. "Please sit down, for this might take some time."

I looked down at the monster wad of bills Rainbow was holding out and whispered, "...fuck me..." She was still smiling as she stuffed it into my hands, then pointed to the beers, and then out the door. I dropped the cash as if it burned me. "No fucking way! I have NO clue how ponies are walking around with enough cash to buy and sell my ass, along with everything I own!" I stared at the money now littering my carpet. "There has to be at least $10,000 here! How in the fuck did you get all this?!" They both were staring up at me blankly, so I looked around for my pen and paper and wrote down my "pleasant" thoughts:

How. IN THE FUCK. Did you get all this money?!

Rainbow frowned as she tried to read the note, then gave it to Apple Jack. Apple Jack read it, thought for a moment, then took her friend's pencil and pad and wrote her own note:

Pone Apples. Huemons buy Apple Fambly Apples.

I stared at the note, then looked at them, then back down at the pile again. "Seriously? You got all this money from selling apples? How many did you sell?" Then I shook my head again at my stupidity and wrote it down. Apple Jack wrote her reply, but before she could give it to me, Rainbow added a note at the bottom:

Not many Apple. Huemon LUV pone Apples, pay HUGE monies.

nowe by mor BEER?

I shrugged. "Okay." I bent down and picked up one of the Benjamins, then wrote:

I'm only getting ONE case of beer because I don't want you two to get too drunk!

They read the note and beamed at me. Rainbow got behind me and began pushing me towards the door. "Alright, alright, don't rush me. I'm going, jeez!"

It wasn't until I was driving a block away before I asked myself why they didn't simply buy the beer themselves.

"Tea?"

She shook her head. "No, thank you, Your Highness...I'd really like to know why I've been wronged in such a way. What did I do?"

Twilight looked toward the window and sighed, gathering her thoughts. Finally, she answered, "Lyra, it wasn't anything you did...it was what we were all afraid you might do." She held up a hoof to stop the indignant response she saw about to burst out of Lyra's lips and continued.

"Despite all your assurances of how wonderful Humans are, and I want you to know that we did take your advice into consideration, we were still dealing with a new, unknown species. We really had no idea how they would react upon meeting us, which was why the first envoys were hoof-picked by myself and Princess Celestia; we needed ponies that would present the best Equestria had to offer as well as be able to defend themselves in case the Humans turned out to be hostile."

"And this turned out to be a prudent course of action, for our first contacts were indeed met with fear and suspicion on the part of the Humans." Lyra had been listening intently, but at this last, her eyes grew wide, and she raised a hoof.

"F...fear? Suspicion? But...but...why? How were we a threat?" The look of disappointment and...betrayal...on her face nearly broke Twilight's heart. She reached over and gently took her hoof.

"We're still trying to understand. But as well as I can guess, the Humans live on a world where they are the only sapient species and have never had contact with any others. Until our arrival, they believed they were the only planet with intelligent life residing upon it, and it was such a culture shock for them to find out otherwise that there are still some who are trying to come to terms with the knowledge." Twilight sighed and finished with, "And, just like we ponies, Humans fear what they don't understand."

Lyra looked away and grew silent, trying to process what she'd just learned. Then, her eyes widened with dawning realization, and she looked her Princess in the eyes. "So...that's why I wasn't allowed to visit at first: you all were sparing me from seeing my dreams...shattered...and were afraid of what I might do?" Twilight sadly nodded.

"We had to wait until Pony relations were stable between ourselves and the Humans before we allowed a pony as excited about them as you are going over...even now, there are still some restrictions in place that we're trying to work out."

Lyra raised an eyebrow. "Such as?"

"Ponies aren't allowed to purchase items such as alcohol, weapons, or illegal drugs, although that last item is moot for the Pony biological system is immune to most Earth pharmaceuticals. I personally agree with these particular proscriptions, but I know of a few ponies that wouldn't mind getting their hooves on some Earth alcohol." Her eyes turned inward at some errant memory, but she smiled and said nothing. "And, of course, there's the limit on how many ponies are allowed on Earth among the Humans at any given time, which our two Embassies keep strict track." Twilight sighed again and added, "And then...there were a few problems that we caused that were blown out of proportion by the Humans...which involved...ear and belly scritches."

Lyra's eyes widened. "I heard about those! What exactly happened?"

Twilight grimaced. "Some ponies...liked them too much, and I'm sorry to say they made themselves a nuisance." She added defensively, "It was nothing close to the numbers the Human press were reporting, but there were quite a few ponies who simply would not stop pestering every Human they met for their..."service." These ponies were found and swiftly dealt with...in the form of being quickly sent back to Equestria and banned from returning to Earth. But the damage had already been done. Now, the majority of Humans have been warned by their news agencies not to give ponies ear or belly scritches for fear of the same happening."

Lyra laid her own ears back. "That's a shame. I heard they're really nice."

Twilight's eyes grew dreamy. "Oh, they are..."

Lyra did a double take. "Wait! You've had your..." she stopped and grimly smiled. "Of course, you have. You're a Princess." Lyra drew her hooves back and stood. "Thank you for your time, Princess Twilight. It was very...enlightening."

As she turned to go, Twilight said, "Wait a moment."

Lyra looked back over her shoulder. "Yes?"

The Princess grinned and gestured for her to come closer. Puzzled, the unicorn carefully walked back up to her, then her confusion grew as Twilight checked to make sure the door was shut with her magic, then whispered in her ear, "...would you like to have...your ears...scritched?" Lyra's eyes widened, and she quickly nodded as she pranced in place and barely held back a squee! Twilight smiled, checked the door once again, then whispered once more:

"...I know a guy..."