Author's Note

I hope this interests you!

Chapter 1: Weird Brothers

“ Damn this stupid old heap of junk…”

I kicked my foot hard against the side of the carriage, the old and weak wooden planks cracking loudly as a few splinters flew out. With frustration, I took a seat on a nearby rock, sourly glaring at the broken remains of the carriage wheel, which had completely shattered the moment I had hit a small indent on the road.

I was stranded now. For as far as I can see, there was nothing but a hilly and grassy valley. The distant mountains merely solidified the fact I was in the middle of nowhere. I could not see a single sign of civilization in sight. In fact, the only other sign that I was even trekking through preoccupied territory was this dirt road… which has undoubtedly never seen any maintenance in years. Does a dirt road even need maintenance? I don’t even care anymore.

At the very least, I had food and water. I could probably wait for someone else to miraculously cross by and help my sorry self, though the chances of that happening are very slim. I hadn’t seen any other person, or creature in this matter, for days now. I’d be lucky to even see any birds.

With nothing much to do, I spent what felt like hours just mingling around on the spot, hopelessly attempting to try and fix up the wheel of the carriage. Unfortunately, I wasn’t expert enough to put together hundreds of brittle pieces of wood back into its original form, so I decided to just bundle them up and save them as woodfire for when the sun setted. I managed to memorize the exact number of threads in one of my blankets by the time the skies turned orange. It was a splash of cold water to my face that I really was stranded.

As the stars began to appear and the area surrounding me glowed from the orange embers of the small fire, I decided to look over my stuff for the one hundredth time. Truth be told, most of these things I really didn’t need, but I had brought them for the heck of it. I probably should’ve at least sold most of these before leaving, because at this rate I might just have to leave some of them here and continue on the journey. It’s a poor loss, but in instances like these, sacrifices had to be made.

My half-hearted plan never came into fruition, however, as the very slim miracle I had quickly lost hope of became a reality. While silently chewing on tough jerky and staring blankly at the fire, my ears caught hold of the sound of a carriage. Strangely, I also heard the low rumbling sound of an engine. Looking down the dirt path, I quickly caught sight of two bright beams of light coming from two lanterns. My eyes widened as I noticed it was, in fact, another carriage. My luck couldn’t have been any better.

“ Hey, over here!” I shouted earnestly at the approaching carriage, waving my hands up in the air frantically. It was pretty redundant of an action, since they were going to come anyways, but I just couldn’t resist it. I mean, I had already begun to come to terms that I’d have to leave all my stuff and trek by foot. With this new chance, though, I probably wouldn’t have to.

The carriage had paused in its tracks for a moment, a very long moment. Then it began to move again, though this time at a painfully slow pace. I stood there and tapped my foot patiently until they eventually came into view. I was in no particular hurry, so there was no need to complain about the sudden delay. Besides, I know why they delayed; I would have also moved cautiously too if a random voice shouted out in the middle of the night. Yeah… I probably should’ve kept my mouth shut.

It was then, however, when the carriage had come into full view, that I had realized a single glaring fact; this was, in fact, not a carriage. I stared onwards with a gaped mouth as the vehicle came to a stop, the large blood-red cow catcher stopping just a few feet away from the back of my own carriage. Instead of two lanterns, two massive incandescent light bulbs shined brightly on top of the wheel fenders, completely overlapping my small fire and nearly blinding me. The wheels themselves were cartoonishly large and looked to be reinforced with both wood and metal. I couldn’t see much from behind the burning lights, but I could clearly see the red and brown schematic of this… train's body.

Was this even a train? It looked like a hybrid between a train and a sports car… so, a crain? No no, that’s stupid. It’s a locomotive of some kind, one I have never seen before. In any case, I most definitely hit the jackpot here. I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen any relatively modern vehicle in ages.

While ogling at the rare sighting, I could hear some whispering coming from the driver’s seat. I couldn’t hear much of what they were saying, but it definitely sounded like two guys. Were they testing out their new ride or something? I doubt, at least not out in the boonies of boonies. Maybe they were just traveling at night… eh, their reason isn’t really important. It’s whether they’ll let me tag along or not… hopefully so. In any case, this is a pretty cool encounter.

“ You there,” a voice suddenly called out. They had a really old accent, like the type of accent you’d hear from an old radio in the Big Apple. Also, it was masculine. “ What manner of creature are you?”

Creature? They… ah, they’re probably not human then. I scratched my cheek with an awkward smile. I’ve gotten used to having to introduce what species I am… it’s an odd thing to have gotten accustomed to, really. “ I’m a human, but you probably never heard of it.”

“ Human?” another voice said, rather clearly in fact. I think he’s the first to have ever said human smoothly without straining the vowels. “ Brother, I don’t believe we’ve ever heard of a human before, no?”

“ Nay, brother, It appears we’ve come across a new species,” the first voice said. Judging by the tone of their voices, I’m assuming the former guy is the younger of the two. And they’re apparently brothers, too.

Two brothers… a very modern machine in this world’s standards… my eyes widened. “ Hey, by any chance, do you two have the last name Wright?”

There was momentary silence—a very long one, to be exact—until the oldest of the two responded with a tone of shock. “ Well… I wasn’t aware we were that famous...”

“ It seems our reputation has done us a little too well, brother,” the younger one chuckled. Suddenly, the headlights dimmed greatly, allowing me to un-squint my watery eyes from the scorching light. I watched with half interest as two tall, thin, and yellow stallions stepped down from the driver’s seats, walking to the front of their locomotive and tipping their straw hats in unison.

“ Hello to you, good human. You’re guess was… shockingly close to our actual family name,” the youngest one started, standing up tall, “ but it is not Wright that we go by.”

“ Rather, our family name is Flight,” the oldest continued on perfect cue, “ a name we’ve kept greatly hidden, yet you caught on so easily.”

“ Well, you guys give off the same vibe as two other brothers I’ve heard about,” I responded, passively eyeing down their attire. The two wore identical blue-and-white striped button vests with white dress shirts and black bow ties. The only difference between the two was the mustache of the older one. They gave off the vibe of old-fashioned wealthy people, or carnival salespeople. I’m innately feeling the latter in this case.

“ Two other brothers?” The youngest looked to his brother with an excited look. “ Brother, it appears we have some unknown competition!”

“ It seems so indeed, brother. However, I have great doubt they’re on par with our greatest creation to date,” the eldest spoke confidently, patting the side of their locomotive affectionately. His attention was quickly brought back to me. “ Now then, good human, what is your name?”

Oh right, I hadn’t introduced myself yet. Pfft, my goofy self. “ Name’s Robert Isacc Cowell, or just Rob.”

“ Three names… that’s quite the novelty,” the youngest hummed with practical interest, “ is that custom of you humans?”

“ Uh, yeah…” I blinked at the strange response. What was so weird about having three names? “ Do you guys… not have a middle name?”

The eldest smirked, stroking his mustache. “ Nay, we only have two names.”

“ But we’ve gained plenty more in fame,” the youngest immediately cued in. I curled my brow at his rather good rhyming. A sudden bad feeling grew in my gut.

“ Two marvelous words, bouncing town to town.”

“ Our influence could earn us two golden crowns!”

Oh god, they’re doing a musical. “Ok, hold on—”

The eldest once again rubbed a hoof on the locomotive, showing his blatantly obvious love for the vehicle. “ Take a look, what an outstanding piece!”

“ Put together, our greatness never cease!” The youngest exclaimed, slinging a limb around his brother’s shoulder in a merry fashion.

They then— holy shit, they’re starting choreography now. “ Please, just sto—”

“ Grab a pen, keep it written in your head,” the eldest brother somehow appeared to my side while I was still looking at their performance, gesturing with his hooves like he was writing on air.

“ A duo unmatched, our work quickly will spread!” The youngest did a backflip for some reason, with his brother sliding to his side and doing so as well. Holding both of each other shoulder to shoulder, they then began to fucking tap dance. And there was music, too! Where was the music coming from?!

“ He’s Flim!”

“ He’s Flam!”

““ We’re the world famous Flim Flam Brothers~!””

“ Traveling salesponies nonpareil~!”

As their flamboyant performance ended alongside the music, I stared blankly, unsure how to really respond. Of all the things I could have anticipated from this encounter, a musical number was not in the list.

“ Now then,” Flim started, standing up back and clearing his throat, “ what would seem to be the issue for you, Mr. Rob?”

“ Perhaps you need assistance,” Flam added. I wasn’t oblivious to him eyeing the contents of my carriage. “ or perhaps you’d like… a transaction?”

“...” I ran a hand through my hair as a long sigh escaped me.

A week had passed since I began my travels with the Flim Flam Brothers. After a… duration of time trying to clear up the fact that I was neither selling nor buying from the two, we eventually came into a mutual pact that they’d tow my carriage for a fixed pay. Fortunately, they didn’t try to tap out my entire wallet, but they were still really pricey. I had a hunch they were scamming me, though I really didn’t have any other option. Beggars really can’t be picky, after all.

Along the trip, I got to know more about the two brothers. They apparently came from a place called “Fillydelphia”, a blatantly obvious pun to a real place back home. True to their weird introduction—which thankfully never happened again—they were both traveling salespeople, or “salesponies'' as they coined it. This vehicle that they were riding was not only a legitimate locomotive but was actually—and oddly—an apple cider machine. The name, however, was too childish for me to say. It just sounded too stupid. They could’ve gone with a simple name like “cider juicer”, but noo they had to make it sound cheesy. And, of course, put a random four-digit number at the end for the hell of it. I don’t know why this is bothering me so much, but it is.

Other than that, the two were pretty average guys, albeit flamboyant in their way of speaking and whatnot. I managed to somehow tolerate their own questions, though really it wasn’t like they were asking anything stupid. The two, especially Flam the youngest one, showed really profound interest in my hometown, area of work, and—above all else—my wardrobe. And no, I don’t mean it like that. I’m referring to the actual wardrobe that I was carrying in my carriage. He said something along the lines of it being an “artisan masterpiece” and knew a few nobles that would pay a hefty price for it. I, of course, didn’t sell my only wardrobe. They could only take so much from me.

We eventually made it to forestry, a welcoming change from the endless planes of grass. But for some odd reason, the two of them became really tense and agitated throughout our trip in the forest. Hell, they looked even more disturbed than when they had first seen me eating the beef jerky some days ago. That was definitely saying something, since Flim nearly threw up when he saw me eating it.

“ What’s up with you two?” I suddenly asked after the two of them flinched from a squirrel jumping off a branch and over the vehicle. “ You’ve been jumpy like this since we’ve entered this forest.”

“ W-Well, you see, Mr. Rob,” Flam stuttered, pulling the collar of his vest, “ this is none other than the n-notorious Everfree Forest.”

“ There’s nothing good that comes out of these accursed woods,” Flim added with scrunched brows. Wait, what? How? He doesn’t even have brows.

I shook the thought away. “ You guys are just tweaking. There isn’t anything bad around here.”

I was pretty confident my comment there would ease them up a bit, if not just slightly. The two of them, however, gawked at me as if I said the most foolish thing in existence. They shared a look before Flim sighed with exasperation. “ It appears our human friend here has not heard about the Everfree, brother.”

“ Indeed, he hasn’t,” Flam nodded solemnly.

“...?” Everfree? Is this forest supposed to be common knowledge or something? Sorry, but I’m pretty new to this world—like, literally—so I have a few holes in my knowledge. “ You two mind telling me what’s so frightening about this place then?”

They looked at each other again before nodding. For the next few minutes or so, I was bombarded with tales and folklore of disturbing amalgamations of nature that haunted the locals of this forest for years. To me, though, they didn’t sound anything more than scary bedtime stories. Heck, the most gruesome thing they mentioned was when a stallion got a scratch on his hind leg from one of the Timberwolves they spoke so frighteningly about. Other than that, it was simply haunted house material.

“... Yeah, I can’t see what all the worry is about,” I leaned back on the driver’s seat nonchalantly after they finished their lecture. On a side note, the driver’s seat was a red sofa. Not that I’m complaining, it’s really comfortable.

“ Mr. Rob… we insist you take this seriously,” Flim spoke in a uncharacteristically serious tone. It made me actually pay attention a little bit more. “ This forest is no-pony land. Any small mistake can lead to a… devastating ending.”

“ Which is why we trek this road so carefully,” Flam continued, “ less we wish to abruptly end our journey, every step we take counts.”

I guess it’s just a matter of perspective here. Judging by the way they take this so seriously, I doubt they’ve ever seen anything as gruesome as I’ve seen before. But I guess, out of respect for their kindness, I should take this a little bit more seriously. “ Fine… I get it. I’ll help keep an eye out, or whatever.”

Both of them smiled, seemingly satisfied by my words. “ We greatly appreciate the gesture, Mr. Rob. Our trip within the Everfree shouldn’t be too long, so don’t worry too much.”

“ Mhm.”

Some minutes after that conversation, the Flim Flam Brothers screeched in terror as a leaf floated down from one of the low hanging branches. I silently continued my faux lookout.

True to their words, we left the forest in no time, now entering a very large apple orchard. As I had expected, nothing uneventful happened since the lore-drop about the Evefree forest. I still hold my doubts about what the brothers had said, though I kept that to myself to avoid causing some unnecessary trouble. At the very least, they seemed more at ease now that we left the “accursed forest”.

I idly watched the numerous apple trees zoom by as we made quick progress down the much more well-kept dirt road. This orchard was probably owned by some big apple company, and judging by the brother’s excited side conversation, I’m assuming they can’t wait to sell this machine to the owner. It came to my surprise when they had told me some time ago that they planned on selling this machine to a worthy buyer. It looked to be really expensive to build, and they confirmed that… though, they also confirmed they had plenty of resources to waste back home. In all honesty, I had thought that selling was the last thing on their list, but I guess we all have our own agendas. There was also the question of how they’d return home, and that was when I was kindly informed that this next town had a train station.

That alone solidified just how lucky I was to meet these guys. Had I gone on foot, I probably would’ve wandered somewhere else and died in a cave, never to have known of such a civilized area nearby… ok, that was a bit too harsh, but something like that would’ve happened.

Eventually, we made a sharp turn at the white fence guarding the orchard. From there, things started to get interesting, and rather quickly too. Out of nowhere, we were suddenly greeted with the sight of a large gathering of colorful ponies, all grouped together in front of the assumed entrance of the orchard. And… holy shit, that was one hell of a long line. While there was a large crowd at the entrance, there was an even longer queue of ponies in a uniform line stretching out on the road and past the horizon. Just what the heck was going on?

The mass crowd of ponies were specifically grouping around what looked like a wooden stand with floral and apple illustrations. Behind the stand were two other ponies—red and orange—with a yellow blob in between them. I’m assuming they’re employees of the company’s orchard or something. Although I couldn’t see any of the facial expressions clearly, the level and tone of the crowd’s voice clearly showed some level of displeasure. It looks like they were experiencing some customer complaints. With that number, though? Damn, the fuck did they do?

“ Well, it appears we came at the right time, brother,” Flam noted casually. He seemed more relaxed about what was going on. Actually, no, he looked… pleased for some reason.

“ Indeed, brother, and true to the rumors, it appears they’ve just run out of cider,” Flim hummed in response, stroking his mustache. He also looked pleased, like when someone offers you money. I guess they technically will be getting money soon.

So… rumors of running out of cider? Well, with that level of queued customers, I’m not really surprised. And assuming those are the employees, they’re probably heavily understaffed as well. Makes me wonder, though… is this company’s cider really that good, or is it the only orchard around to sell cider? Well, if it’s the only orchard around, I’d assume they’d hire more workers. no? In any case, it looks like the brother’s machine here might come in handy for them.

As we neared, all the heads of the gradually departing ponies turned towards the locomotive as the loud rumbling of the engine made us known. They looked confused, curious, and very parched. Like, almost as if they hadn’t drunk anything in days. Now that I’m noticing it… the weather does seem a bit hot… it must be summer right now… I really need to get my hands on a calendar.

We came to a stop right next to the entrance of the orchard, accidentally breaking the end of the fence. I wasn’t oblivious to the sudden glare a green and wrinkly mare sent our way, who stood next to the wooden stand. She just as quickly, however, gave a perplexed look when our eyes met, obviously having never seen a human such as myself before. The brother’s didn’t seem all that bothered by the looks, though, nor did they even seem to have noticed they broke the fence. With fluidity, they went on to jump down in front of the slowly gathering crowd of ponies. From there, they… oh god, the music is playing. Not again...

“ Why…” I pinched the bridge of my nose, a quiet groan escaping my lips as the Flim Flam brothers yet again fell into a random musical number. This time, they altered the lyrics a bit, but it was still the same flamboyant and obnoxious performance they had given me a week ago. Somehow, the ponies seemed to like it, their brightened expression showing growing interest. Heck, some of them were even singing along—no, everyone was singing along! The hell?!

I merely stared in awe as the brother’s easily riled up all the ponies' excitement with nye perfect success. As part of their performance, they jumped back onto the locomotive, the horns of their head—what the—is that fucking magic?!

Yes, yes it was, and not only were their horns enveloped with a green aura, they also began to demonstrate how this machine worked. Ok… ok, this just took a sudden turn. I, uh, probably should’ve already expected this sooner, with them being unicorns and everything… damn, did I just realize they were unicorns? I might need to get my attention span checked… well, in any case, I guess things are actually getting interesting now.

I watched intently as Flam shot a bolt of magic right at one of the metal bars sticking out at the back end of the machine. The green aura caused a spark of electricity throughout the machine’s components, and I felt the locomotive vibrate under me as the gears began to turn and the light bulbs began to flash rhythmically. Flim then used his own magic to levitate the giant copper cone over one of the orchard trees—after smoothly asking for permission from the orange pony while singing—-and instantly sucked in every single apple from there. I was momentarily in awe, but that’s as far as my shock went. I narrowly squinted my eyes when I noticed a few branches being sucked in as well.

“ He—” I didn’t get to say anything out loud, though, since they were still singing. And none of the other ponies seemed to have noticed either, being too entranced by the performance. Well, except for the same wrinkly old mare from before, who butted into their performance and somehow smoothly kept up with the song’s beat while saying her own argument. Man, were ponies just naturally in tune with singing?

This song was, clearly, much longer than the initial song the brother’s had given me. And the reaction, of course, was much more enthusiastic than mine was at the time. When the brother’s finished, nearly all the ponies were eager to come and try out the machine’s cider. One of them, specifically the yellow blob from before—which turned out to be a small pony—came up with an elated smile.

“ You’ve got a deal!” She was clearly just some kid, so her statement was quickly put down by the wrinkly green pony… I should just call her grandma at this point. Maybe the kid was between the red and orange pony? I dunno, maybe she just tagged along with them, something like bring your kid to work day. Well, that aside, it was clear from her accent as well as the grandma’s that they were southern.

Still… had they not noticed the branches being sucked in? That’s like a health hazard, right?

I wasn’t able to say anything about it again. The grandma huddled up with the other orchard workers, plus the yellow pony kid, and hushed quietly. The brother’s took this as an opening and quickly butted themselves. Based on what I could hear, this was where they started the real negotiations and whatnot.

“... then we split those sweet, sweet profits,” the brother’s said in unison, “ 75, 25!”

“...?” I curled my brow at their choice of splitting the profit. Clearly they were scamming the workers here, and even the orange pony could see through that cheap deal. The fuck? I thought these guys were chill. I guess they really did scam me… ah, whatever. I squeeze it back outta them later. For now, I’m not surprised that the orchard workers disagreed with their offer. But what was surprising was the sudden shift in the brother’s demeanor, claiming the orchard workers as their “competitors.”

“ Don’t you worry, everypony!” Flim suddenly exclaimed, having taken a stand at the podium in the front of the locomotive. So… that’s what it's for. I was wondering why they installed that. “ There will be plenty of cider for all of you!”

“ However, we must woefully part ways here,” Flam added, hopping back on the locomotive. Lighting his horn, he turned a key somewhere I didn’t see and started the engine. “ but we shall return to give you all more of this delicious and mouth-watering cider!”

With that said, the brother’s revved the engine and drove down the road at arguably dangerous high speeds, leaving the orchard workers behind in a large cloud of dust. As we drove, the brothers waved at the long line of ponies as if they were celebrities. In the meantime, I took solace in looking back to see if my carriage had not been disconnected and left behind.

“ So, Mr. Rob,” Flam started after we had left behind the unrealistically long queue and began to approach a line of rather old-fashioned buildings, “ what do you think of our marvelous presentation?”

“ Indeed, we’d very much like to hear what you, the sole human of this world, think about our amazing machine,” Flim tagged on.

I crossed my arms with an unimpressed look. They could fool those ponies, but they aren’t fooling me. “ I wouldn’t call it amazing if your machine is also sucking in branches and leaves.”

This, rightfully so, caused them to falter from their confident demeanor. Flam pulled onto the collar of his dress shirt while Flim fiddled with his bow tie, a cold sweat forming on both of their faces. “ A-Ah… we forgot how keen you are, Mr. Rob.”

So, it looks like they know about their machine’s faults as well.. but still tried to sell it. That’s kinda fucked up, if you ask me. “ Personally, I wouldn’t feed my customers branch juice if they ask for cider.”

“ Urk,” my words seemed to have irked them off. I mean, kinda deserving of them. It should open their eyes to how bad this could end up for them if they get caught. Flim ran a hoof through his hair, struggling to keep eye contact with me. “ L-Listen, Mr. Rob, our machine still has some… minor inconveniences that we’ve been working fervently to change.”

“ Indeed, believe us in that this latest model is our most efficient to date,” Flam added, attempting to put a positive tone, “ in fact, such an error should not be any worry! We’ve reduced the ratio of foreign objects in our cider by forty percent—”

“ Brother, that is classified!”

“ Whoops,” Flam immediately shoved a hoof in his mouth to keep quiet. It made no difference, though, since I already heard it all. I’m pretty sure someone’s dog heard it, too.

But forty percent, huh? And that’s supposed to be from their most efficient model? Does that mean their cider still has another sixty percent of branches and shit in it? “ Yeah, no. The thought of even having a foreign object ratio in your cider is a huge turn off. You guys are cooked.”

My comment yet again seemed to have irked the brothers. In fact, Flim was actually giving me a warning look now. Ha, priceless. “ Perhaps, Mr. Rob, since you are so well-versed in cider production, you could build your own Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000? Surely you could even make a better model.”

“ We are no novices in the arts of cider making,” Flam joined in with his own serious look. I couldn’t take either of the two seriously, even if I tried. “ there are many unavoidable elements in the process, Mr. Rob, so we would kindly ask you not to press any further on the matter.

Sheesh, looks like I struck a cord there. Their little flamboyant personalities are almost gone now, the only thing keeping that somewhat present being their passive salesman accent. I had to hold in my laugh, though; they just looked stupid as fuck. In any case, I guess they didn’t want me digging any deeper in their fraudulent activity. Not like I care, anyways; they’ve given me the ride I asked for, so I’ll just leave them to continue their unscrupulous sales.

“ Whatever, just don’t be surprised once the cat’s out the bag,” I shrugged my shoulders, bringing my attention to the town we drove through. It was pretty small, to be honest. There were only a handful of buildings that I could even see as having two stories; the rest were one-story cottages or however you called these medieval-fashioned households. The town was relatively empty, and I’m assuming it's because of the long line back at the orchard. This must be a close-knit community, then.

As for what the brothers had said afterwards, they didn’t say anything at all. It was pretty obvious there was an awkward and tense air between us two parties… well, at least for them two. I was honestly completely fine, just minding myself as I briefly mapped out the town’s layout. Very spacious and very open. Oh, and also very colorful.

Eventually, we came to a stop right in front of a two-story red-roofed building. I wasn’t some knowledgeable expert in architecture, but this building was giving some Victorian-aged style. And given that it was right next to a large fountain, I’m assuming this was the heart of the community, and I’m also assuming this is the town hall or something.

I hopped off the locomotive and nodded at the two brothers. “ Well, this is where we split now.”

“ … Yes, it would appear so,” Flim nodded pensively. I guess they were still pressed about that. “ But… one more thing, Mr. Rob, before we depart.”

“ You want my lips sealed on the branch thing, huh?” I crossed my arms expectantly, tapping my shoe on the ground. It was pretty obvious, and if I didn’t point it out sooner I’m sure some ransom would come into play. This isn’t my first rodeo, of course.

“ P-preferably,” Flam said shakingly, looking around as if a squadron of police would pop out of nowhere and send them to the asylum. Probably would happen, haha. “ we’d rather not have our names so blatantly tainted from… ahem, unconfirmed news.”

“ Mhm,” I hummed blandly.

“ Do we have your word, Mr. Rob”? Flim asked.

… Well, I’d rather not get myself tied into their mess. It’s better to just get this over with and move on. At the very worst, I’d have to look out for their names whenever I try apple cider. “ Sure, I won’t say anything. You two do your thing, I guess.”

This seemed to have pleased them greatly. The brothers were now back to their jolly and obnoxiously flamboyant personas. “ We’re glad to hear that, Mr. Rob!”

“ It’s been a pleasure being your acquaintance in our travels,” suddenly, I hear the engine being revved back up again. Shit, I haven’t unlocked my carriage.

“ Wait, I—”

Without even a second breath, their red locomotive zoomed off into the distance. ““ Until we meet again, Mr. Rob!””

“ Wh— GET BACK HERE WITH MY SHIT!”