Foomph

Hello Scribblits,

Thank you for participating in the 2023 Everfree Northwest Iron Author contest! This email contains your scores and any notes made by reviewers for your entry. But first, a quick reminder of the rules and judging methods.

We had 42 stories this go. Reviewers were assigned stories randomly and anonymously. They then scored the story in five categories, on a scale of zero to five in each, and optionally left notes. Each story was scored by three different reviewers, and the scores were then averaged. The top 8 stories were within 3.0 points of each other, so it was close! Judges then read these and three winners were selected.

The categories we judged on were:

Technical: This is basic grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc.

Structure: This is the larger scale structure of your story. Typically that means "plot" but might also include things such as the clues and reveal in a mystery, or the setup of a shaggy dog joke.

Impact: Basically, how much impact the story had on the reader. If it was a sad story, how well did it trigger the feels. If it was a mystery, how clever was the reveal.

Theme: How well you implemented the given prompts/themes of this year's contest. The challenge this year was to use ALL three of the prompts. This year those were a Vexing Volcanism, Verdant Vegetable, and Vibrant Vestigial.

Misc: Pretty much "reviewer's choice" and provides a place for extra credit if something stood out that wasn't covered by the other categories. For example, bonusing a story for a very challening choice of format.

In summary, you can have anything from 0 to 5 in each category, with a total possible range between 0 and 25. Actual scores in this contest ranged from 10.0 to 23.67 (including many ties.)

Below, you will find your average scores in each category (and your final/total score), as well as three individual reviews. Each individual review is from a single reviewer, and represents the exact score they gave, along with any notes they provided. Some notes may be signed, while others may be anonymous. It was up to the individual reviewer if they wished to sign their reviews.

At the end of this message, the full text of your story is included. It is in raw format, which includes any BBCode you may have used, making it suitable to paste directly into FimFiction if you desire to publish your story.

One last note: The Iron Author website and public story list ( http://ironauthor.xepher.net ) will remain online until (at least) the end of the year, but may be taken down after that. If you wish to read the stories of your fellow contestants, please do so before then.

If you have any further questions or problems, feel free to contact me. I'm Xepher on FimFiction.net, or you can email xepher@xepher.net

Thanks again for participating in this year's contest, and I hope you enjoyed it as much as we all did!

--Xepher

Username: Scribblits

Story Title: Foomph

Averaged Scores

Technical: 3.00

Structure: 3.00

Impact: 3.67

Theme: 3.00

Misc: 2.33

Final Score: 15.00

Review 1

Technical: 4

Structure: 3

Impact: 4

Theme: 3

Misc: 3

Total: 17

Notes: Some punctuation and word errors stood out.
I'm not really sure this is a story. It feels more like an event where at the end there's a change. I need more arc for this to really hit.
I liked the use of a Nirik. Pinkie Pie was random and I wanted her to be organized randomness than random randomness because when randomness is squared its square and that's boring. You get what I mean.
The themes were mostly present. Can't recall where vestigial was used. Nirik as a volcano was cool. Would have liked to see you lean more on that.
Over all, I think this needs significant polish. Why is this Nirik doing / thinking these things? Why do they matter? Why should I care about Basil. You have a gold nugget of an idea but you're going to need more work to extract it.

Review 2

Technical: 3

Structure: 3

Impact: 4

Theme: 4

Misc: 3

Total: 17

Notes: Cute little slice of life,

a few things.
1)It would flow a bit better if we were introduced to Basil and what she did a bit more in depth.
2)WHY is pink ponk pony there? what brought her to Kirin lands?

Review 3

Technical: 2

Structure: 3

Impact: 3

Theme: 2

Misc: 1

Total: 11

Notes: Good glimmers of introspection in the main character, but the prompt elements aren't used very effectively and the problem/conflict of the story seems only nebulously defined.

A copy of your story is included below, including any BBCode you used, so it can be easily pasted into FimFiction.