Author's Note

The first chapter I edited myself, hopefully, I did not miss anything. if something is wonky I'm sorry. I know that random pony words are not the height of literature but I want it to be the best it can be.

Ambassador?!

“So, where were we after lunch, I don’t remember?”

Luna answered me as we entered the limo, “I believe, I had just finished explaining that you had made my face hurt without kissing me.”

“Ah yes, the second most brick-shitting moment in my life so far. Anyway, after my royal gaffe in both senses of the term.” I said booping Lunas’ nose.

Her nose was wrinkled and clearly indented with a perfect imprint of my fingertips.

“Carl was it?” She said flatly with the kind of tone that makes full-grown men feel small.

My voice cracked meekly, “Yup, that is me, Carl the guy who just fucked up real bad huh.”

“I understand thy reasoning however, thou shalt not touch me again do you understand?!”

I nodded, rattled. I’ve felt small before but this was unlike anything else I had experienced before. This ‘pony’ of mythic resemblance wings flared black as night, her royal regalia shining in the bright interrogation room. Her presence suddenly held an unquestionable power understood by my very soul.

Done searing her visage into my brain she turned to leave. Exiting the room she called back, “I will speak with my advisors and return with a decision momentarily.”

As the door clicked closed I was left with nothing but my thoughts and the items in my pockets. As I stripped my sea water-soaked outer layers I tried to reconcile my bad decisions.

I remember hearing somewhere the little things get lost in hallucinations and dreams. I felt like a kid again, twenty-three and negotiating with aliens. It seemed like a dream, I cataloged my pockets trying to focus on the little details. I don’t know how long I slowly went over the contents of my pockets, radio, phone, wallet, keys, knife, zippo, and multitool.

Coming to grips with the fact all this is all very real I nervously paced the room. I am the Babylon V crew screwing it all up this time. Everything I do and say will be scrutinized for the rest of written history from now on. I sat down with my head in my hands, I made my bed, time to lie in it. Slowly collecting my things, I opened my phone and started Writing down everything I could remember of importance.

Putting down my phone I clicked on the radio relaying what I’d written. It was nothing actionable, simply the facts missed in the first conversation. Levitation and teleportation being the mainstay of the conversation. The continued directive was simply to wait for new info.

The wait seemed like forever but a knock at the door startled me from my slowly amplifying panic.

The door opened, and a gruff voice ordered, “The Princess requires your ponyage.”

Standing I stifled a laugh at the verbiage, I followed the guard out of the room being flanked by a pair along the way. They led me through a few short halls, their metal shoes clanking on the stone floor. The metallic echos ensured their presence was known. We entered a conference room. Its tall arched ceiling reminded me of a courtroom. The princess and two other ponies sat at a central table, a clear seat across the table clearly designated for me.

The princess pointed to the chair across from her, “Come sit, we have introductions to make and questions to answer.”

Gingerly making my way over I took a seat. Shifting uncomfortably under the ponies' stares, I pulled out my phone. Starting a recording I placed it on the table.

The Princess introduced the two ponies, “This,” she gestured to her left, “Is Cobalt Spear Captain of the Manehatten guard. This,” She gestured to her right, “is the Mayor of Manehatten, Rolled Fleece.”

I shrugged uncomfortably, “I am Carl D. Roland, a dumb fisherman with no qualifications for any of this.”

The princess chuckled, the other two ponies looking mildly perturbed, “From our few conversations, you are young, impulsive, and possibly naive, but you are anything but stupid. Now, introductions are not the only reason I called you out here. I need to ask you, what do you want from this?”

I provided the safe answer, “I want a quick and safe resolution to all of this, hopefully with all parties involved happy with how it turns out.”

The princess pointed at me, “What do,” she emphasized, “You as an individual want from this?”

The words fell out uncensored and unabridged, “I want, to ensure that you know what you need to know to not be taken advantage of. I want nothing to do with this as soon as I have provided enough information to feel like I have done what I feel is necessary. I want to leave here with no doubt that you will be able to make informed decisions about what is right for your country. History has too many dead civilizations as it is. I don't want another. I am a simple man. I don't have a reason to do any of this but I am here now so I can’t exactly quit now. It was a mistake to do this and I have arguably screwed everything up. All said, I know it’s not that simple and I will reap what I’ve sown as will everyone else.”

Rolled Fleece shifted papers around on the table speaking as she looked for something “For someone ‘stupid’ that was eloquent and well said.” She leaned and whispered something in the princess's ear as she levitated over a quill.

A smile crept onto the princess's face seemingly out of nowhere. She spoke clearly and loudly for all to hear, “By royal decree Carl D. Roland is hereby human Ambassador to Equestria at risk of my royal status.”

We were seated at the restaurant having arrived during my animated retelling of my experience.

“Luna will have to pick up the story from there, however.”

Cadence tilted her head puzzled, “And why is that?”

Luna idly tapped the table, “Because he fainted and I had to catch him to make sure he did not bust open his head on the floor.”

A simple, “oh,” was all that was heard from the duo across the table.

I caught the ‘stallion?’ ‘man?’ from his fall, “Cobalt, make sure he is alright and bring him to one of the royal suites in Canterlot and ensure he is comfortable.”

Cobalt scoffed, “How do you expect me to do that? The creature is completely alien, I don’t know what ‘Alright’ even is for it.”

I face-hooved, “Just take him, I’m sure he will be fine shortly.”

“You want me to take this creature of unknown intentions across Equestria and put him in a completely unlocked room at the seat of the nation?!”

I snapped sharply, “Captain! Do I need remind you who I am?”

“No Princess,” He said stiffly, turning to bark quickly heeded orders.

Shifting my attention right, I shifted the documents on the table towards myself, “Mayor please collect any other relevant documents and have them sent to the Canterlot archivist for transcription and catalog,” She stood quickly running off to handle the collection of such things.

I levitated the stack of papers off the table. Standing I noticed an odd device the guards had left behind rushing Carl away on a stretcher. Stepping around the table I looked directly at the object, it shown a mirror image of the ceiling and myself. Picking up the device with my magic it distorted and became a collection of white and black dots. Quickly letting go of it with my magic it returned to its state before I lifted it. Softly picking it up with a wing it seemed to have no change, only the direct application of magic seeming to affect it. Touching the mirror itself caused a sudden change in its appearance, shifting to an image of a stylistically drawn human covered in odd little bubbles. Accidentally pressing a button on its side It suddenly turned black. Ignoring it for now, I left to prepare for the flight back to Canterlot.

Luna stopped, dinner having been acquired and eaten during her storytelling. She looked at me pointedly, “But we can finish this another time, Intuition says I’m going to be up late tonight.”

I looked at Cadance, “I’m not in danger am I?”

All three of them simply smiled as we made our way from the table.

The ride back to the hotel was quick, Cadance stopped me as we exited the limo quickly whispering in my ear, “I hear she likes her wings played with.”

I blushed, lightly pushing her away, “Quiet you.”

Luna quipped from the other side of the car, “Don’t be trying to steal my stallion over there Miss Amore.”

We all laughed working our way to the hotel doors and the end of the day.