Author's Note

A side story takes place between the last chapter and this one. It expands on Luna and Carl's relationship beyond the teen confines of this story. You won't miss much other than some minor plot that will come up later without the mature elements. Go read that if it sounds like your thing. The Soft Moments In-Between. - Fimfiction
I see you people tracking without liking the story.

Just tell The Story.

A loud knock at the door shocked Luna and I from our post-morning shower coitus cuddles. I ignored it and Luna simply snuggled further into my neck avoiding the noise.

The knock intensified two voices shattering our peace, “United States Secret Service!”

“Equestrian Royal Guard!”

I covered my ears waiting for the inevitable.

Luna shouted, deafening me even through my covered ears, “Raucous Vice we are fine and if you dare speak of the things you heard, I will castrate you myself!”

Tentatively I removed my hands from my ears, immediately hearing animated chatter from outside.

The secret service member did not seem to catch the hint, calling through the door again, “We need to see Carl for a moment, another guest heard some concerning noise.”

Quickly shushing Luna before she could continue to verbally harass the agent I called back, “I’ll be out in a minute, I’m sure that you know this is just a noise complaint.” The lack of response said all, untangling myself from Luna's grasp I started my walk to the door.

She looked conflicted asking, “Are you going to get dressed?”

I made a dismissive gesture, “I can peek through the door and if they need to see me in full,” I pointed to myself up and down, “they can see me in full.”

Jumping to her hooves she threw a pair of pants at me, “No they won't! We talked about this!”

I caught the offending ball of denim saying nothing, putting it on as I walked onward. Opening the door the large suit-wearing man looked me up and down before being interrupted.

Luna's day guard Raucous turned and coughed, “toldyouso.”

Leaning against the doorframe I held my hand out in the universal ‘what do you need’ gesture.

“Sorry sir, Policy requires we physically see you to ensure your safety.”

Luna called out, “Well, you’ve seen him now are you done?!”

“No, no I have to ask what all the noise was last night and this morning,” He asked looking very over his job.

I pinched my temples snapping off, “We fucked like rabbits,” Before the rational part of my brain could intervene.

“Alright then,” he stated flatly as Raucous laughed. He continued talking over the pony's unprofessionalism, “I also must inform you that the president has requested your presence for a press briefing later today details will be provided as soon as possible. That is all for now.”

I nodded, closing the door. Walking back I idly mused, “Well that’s a perfectly good way to ruin a day. It had such a good start too.”

Luna grinned looking at the television, “I have an Idea that might change that notion.”

“Go on…”

She reached over and futzed with the TV remote and turned it on pointing, “You keep watching these YouTube series, we should tell our story. With how enraptured Cadance and Chrysalis were, it would probably do well.”

I cackled mischievously, “That sounds like it would make a lot of people very unhappy. When do you want to start?”

She tilted her head perplexed, “And why is that?”

“You remember how the news organizations were fighting over the first interviews? So many companies would kill for what we would be putting out for free.”

Excitement grew bright on her face, “We can even start it where we left off with Cadance because of the press release we put out a few months ago with the.” Making air quotes she continued, “‘safe’, version of events.”

Her excitement was infecting me, “It’s good for public image too, let's go right now! Why can’t we screw off in our off time too!”

tossing my phone at me she told me, “Get dressed we probably have an hour before they come knocking for us.”

With a mock salute, I cracked, “Yes Ma’am! But you’re starting with ‘that’ phone call.”

“Gah! Fine, fine. ‘I guess there’s nothing to it, but to do it’.”

“Stop quoting me, quoting others, it's weird.”

“No.”

It was odd enough returning from my stint on the moon even after the year it has been. Everywhere I had known changed, but this was something different. The view out of my chariot was completely different from the one I had seen on my trip to Manehatten. ~~Our~~. My borders, surrounded by ships of all different designs, the Island chains of foreign origin looking out of place. Me and… had many conversations about what alien life would look like. This was not in those conversations. In no fashion did I think we would be the foreign entities encroaching on another form of life.

My saddle bag started to play guitar and rattle. Quickly I unbuttoned the lid, finding the device Carl left behind starting to play, “Fly me to the moon, So I can kick its fucking ass.”

Removing it from the bag the object's face lit with a name and two different colored bubbles. It read, “David, That Guy.” I touched the red bubble and the device suddenly went silent.

Starting to play its tune again I touched the other bubble, it started to make faint noises. Trying to hear what the object was playing I held it to my ear suddenly being assaulted with a torrent of words.

The male voice started blathering animatedly, “Carl! Carlmans, I know you don’t watch the news but did you see what’s going on? A whole new continent showed up in the Pacific, I told you they were hiding shit from us. The news is showing twenty-four-seven coverage, there is this weird-looking blue hologram shield-looking thing. It’s crazy dude!”

I was stunned by the sudden barrage, “I’m sorry, who is this?”

All I heard was a muffled shout, “Jermey come here! I think Carl finally got himself a chick!” He continued unmuffled, "I'm David, Carl's housemate, You are?”

Still befuddled I questioned, “I’m unsure what being ‘Carl’s chick’ is but I can assure you that he knows what is going on.”

The stallion responded confused, “How do you not know what ‘chick' means, anyway what’s your name and how do you know Carl?”

Regaining my composure, I gave a non-answer, “I’m not sure what I am at liberty to share. However, rest assured your friend Carl is safe and cared for.”

There was a pause, the muted shouting returning, “Jermey, where did Carl say he was going yesterday?”

Another voice joined the shouting, “He said he was going out to fish on the…”

“Holy shit! It’s Carl they're talking about on the news.”

Pulling the device away from my ear I saw another red bubble, assuming it did the same thing as the last time I pressed it. Call ended, flashed quickly before disappearing to black.

I placed it in my bag as it continued to play different music and obnoxious noises. The rest of the trip was quick with the entertaining cacophony of mismatched songs to pass the time.

“Yeah, yeah your story gets boring from there.”

“Fine! Your turn then.”

I’ve never been black-out drunk before but I bet this is close. Doesn’t help the bright sun crashing through the window. I never leave my curtains open, this is not my room, Shit it’s real.

The blue crystal walls reflected a kaleidoscope of colours across the ceiling. Getting out of the small bed I took inventory of the room. It was furnished with plain comfortable furniture. My personal effects lay nicely on the side table, collecting them I explored the room. It was very simple with nothing of note other than the balcony. The view was immense, looking over a city of quarts spires, and roads hanging over the cliffs below. Looking beyond the city the sprawling country was dotted with towns and farms, a view that didn’t exist anymore stateside.

I was broken from my awe by a knock on the door, a recognizable voice on the other side.

“May I come in?”

“I’m decent,” I called.

A voice I did not recognize made fun, “That’s great hear, but may we come in?”

I rapidly and embarrassedly replied, “Sorry habit, come on in. I doubt I could stop you anyway.”

The door opened revealing the princess I had met, and another pony of similar stature and build. She looked over me curiously, her magenta eyes showing nothing but curiosity and kindness. She was the opposite of the princess. A flat cream coat with a rainbow mane and tail, an arguably garish combination.

There was silence, my dumbfoundedness obviously mutual with these two.

“I am,” We spoke over each other.

Princess Luna laughed, continuing for the other, “This is my sister Celestia, diarch and princess of the sun.”

I stretched awkwardly unsure of how to proceed. Slowly I pulled a chair from the room's desk. Taking a seat I tried to gather my thoughts, “I um, I have no idea what to do from here. I have no idea why you want me as an ambassador, but that is an obscenely bad idea.

“And why is that?” The sisters echoed looking far too smug.

I rapped my knuckles on the desk trying to put any kind of argument together, finding nothing intelligent to say, “Experience.”

Celestia clicked her tongue, “The way we see it, you’ve shown you want to help. You want the best for everypony and you not being a politician means you don’t have an agenda to fulfill.

“And if I say no?”

Luna dropped a canvas bag in front of me with what looked to be gold coins spilling from it. “You will be compensated for your services. Even if you just advise us with the basic niceties and standard conventions, you will be paid a fair if not rich salary.”

Picking up one of the coins and biting into it, the soft metal denting, “Gold, you just dropped four to five years of workless living in front of me. Let me guess, this is a few months of groceries here.”

“See! You’re already being helpful,” Luna said excitedly.

I Jumped to my feet, the chair slamming against the floor, “Stop! I Don’t know. I have no idea what the hell I want to do! This is crazy!”

I paced in the small room struggling to parse my feelings on everything.

The ponies looked genuinely concerned. Luna spoke up, “I understand this is a lot of pressure but the only way this goes well is a safe and intelligent exchange. You can make that happen, I implore you! For at least the next few weeks until things are settled.”

I stumbled, the pleading striking a chord. I stated flatly, “I’ll hold to my word, with one caveat. After all of this is over I need a guarantee that you will protect me from the inevitable backlash. I would be sent to a hole under a prison for what I will be telling you. I’m already neck deep and I won’t see the light of day for a long time without some kind of safety net.”

Luna looked to Celestia who nodded looking at me, “That can be arranged.”

“Where do I sign?” I nervously joked.

They both pranced over, hugging me, knocking me flat, “Thank you! Thank you!”

I groaned, “Ow, y’all are soft but the floor’s not!” They jumped off me looking like startled cats. Holding up a hand I silenced their apologies, “It’s alright, just give me a minute.”

While I recovered from my sudden loss of verticality, Luna took her leave speaking to someone outside. I could hear the brilliant sound of Bon Jovi coming down the hallway, “I knew I was missing something. Let me guess someone called and you answered it…”

Celestia pointed out the door, “She did speak with somepony on the device but she was waiting for you to provide any details.”

Strolling back into the room Luna held out my still blaring phone with a wing, this obnoxious thing is yours.” Taking it from her my hand brushed against her soft feathers.

Unlocking it I immediately turned down the ringer, a look of relief on Luna's face. I had received calls from three unknown numbers, and my parents and roommates. Checking the battery it was on its last legs.

the phone rang, the recording pausing automatically.

“Well that’s actual work calling, should probably do something about that,” I complained.

Luna rubbed my arm reassuringly, “I know you hate talking to the press but at least they focus on me most of the time.”

I answered the phone preempting the other end, “Yup we will be on our way shortly what are we covering this time.”

“Well… Shit!”