Cadence Just Wants to Have Fun

Captain Shining Armor was a true knight, the model of military stoicism as he marched down the hall. As Night Light, his sire, and Captain before him, had told him once, an officer is never off duty, even when they say they are. The aging unicorn had meant that as more of a warning to never let one’s guard down around a superior.

Shining held his head up high in pride. Even without armor, his fur still shown in the dimming light of the setting sun. His arms swung with a powerful masculine stride, and his hooves marched to the beat drilled into him all the way back to his early days in training. Truly, he was a model guard. Guards, servants, and even petitioners all nodded their cordial respect when they saw Shining approach. His reputation had earned the respect of much of the nobility, a rare feat for most officers.

Shining smiled back, returning the various well wishes, dodging or answering questions as he felt appropriate, and overall remaining the shining star everyone had always made him out to be. Then he arrived at his quarters.

“Sir!” the guardsmare stood at attention and saluted. “All quiet on the… Nothing to report, Sir!”

Shining blinked and took a closer look at the mare, leaning in and invading what most would call her personal space. She was a blueish-gray earth mare, a bit small for her tribe, which meant she was just below eye level with the stalwart unicorn. “Nothing to report?” he repeated, hearing her nervous gulp. “Are you sure about that?”

The mare was visibly sweating now, desperate to look anywhere but in her Captain’s eyes. “I, uh, that is, I mean…” She let out a whimpering squeak.

“We can’t say, sir,” the unicorn mare added.

“Can’t?” Shining asked, his eyebrow rose inquisitively. “On whose authority?” His gut told him where this was going, but he needed to ask anyway. The number of ponies with authority to circumvent his own could be counted with his hands.

The unicorn mare met Shining’s eyes, unblinking. While he could definitely be intimidating when he wanted to be, they’d danced this dance together long enough. “You know who,” she deadpanned.

Shining felt his heart flutter for just a second, though his face remained the picture of stoicism. “Thank you, Private. That will be all.” They nodded in understanding, and Shining entered his room.

The Captain’s mask fell off the instant the lock on the door clicked. Looking tired with bags under his eyes, the stallion still managed to maintain what experience told him was the necessary alert level. He pressed his back tight against the door and scanned the room for anything out of place. He could, of course, have used magic. Passive sweeps, penetrative scans, or even just feeling around with his telekinesis would have all been adequate. However, experience had also taught him that there was a difference between precaution and cheating.

Instantly, his eyes fell upon the large protrusion rising high under the covers of their bed. Considering himself a rather knowledgeable and worldly stallion for his age, Shining reckoned that this protrusion looked very much like a plot. Yes. To be precise, a mare’s plot raised high in the air while her front was bent over. The blankets clung to the contours of this plot in a way that was simply impossible without magic, perfectly outlining her rounded cheeks, winking vulva, and puckered pink star. Oh, yes. Worldly stallion as he was, Shining knew exactly what color this mare’s anus was. He also knew when he was being had.

“Very funny, Cadi,” Shining called into his private suite. “You really think I’d fall for something that obvious?” He resumed his visual scan, still abstaining from magic. His room was military regulation and very Spartan in nature. There were few places someone as large as an alicorn could reasonably hide, especially when following the unspoken rules of their little game. The twin dressers were too obvious, the closet had been overused, and the window curtains had proven inefficient at hiding the mare’s generous curves. The luxury bed had a ceiling with curtains that were too short and had shorter legs that even the most slender of winged mares would not easily fit under. “I’m almost insulted.”

“Aww. Don’t be like that,” cooed the melodious voice of Shining Armor’s most nefarious nemesis. Just the sound of her come-hither tone was causing his little stallion to twitch in its sheath.

“Princess Mi Amore Cadenza,” Shining growled in warning, baring his teeth.

“Yes, my cutie patooty,” she bubbled cutely.

Shining’s ears and eyes swiveled all around, but could not pinpoint the source of the mare’s voice. “Whatever you have planned, I’m telling you right now that I’m not in the mood,” he asserted, hugging his back to the wall as he sidestepped around the room. If he reached the bathroom, he’d win the right to decide the night’s events.

Shining would never actually deny Cadence, of course. He loved her too much to leave her gorgeous pink folds wanting. However, he seriously was tired and in no mood for whatever weirdness his alicorn had planned. Her hiding almost always meant she’d come up with some ‘brilliant’ idea that she wanted to experiment with him… or on him, as these things often went. If he could just make it to the bathroom, he’d ease her aching loins in a manner that was more his speed, which, at the moment, was nice and vanilla. Besides, his day off was just a short way away, so he’d have plenty of time to make it up to her then.

“Ah poo. Don’t be such a Shiny-Whiney,” Cadence teased.

Shining growled again. He had no doubt that she was pouting her lip in that special way of hers that made his heart go all to pieces, and thus, he was glad he couldn’t see her at the moment. “You know I hate that nickname,” he said, trying to keep his voice firm and authoritative. He had to show that he was still in control.

“Aww. Did Shiny-Whiney get his wittle feewings hurt?”

Shining’s hooves gave muffled clops as they tapped lightly against the rug, although the sound of each fiber crunching beneath his weight was like an alarm bell to his ears. This was bad. The game had barely started, and he was already letting his nerves get the best of him. Even the sound of his ass rubbing across the wall sounded like it wasn’t very library friendly.

Shining hated this part of the game. Cadence, wherever she was, had a clear line of sight on him. She always did. He gave the room another once over, but couldn’t spy anything apart from the bulge in the bed. Was that it? Was it a double bluff, Cadence hiding in the most obvious place because she knew he’d immediately dismiss it? “Clever girl,” he said under his breath, still mindful of every step as he inched along the wall.

“So, how was your day, sweetie?” Cadence’s voice had turned completely casual, like she was talking to him like a sane mare welcoming home her stallion after a long day’s work.

Now this really freaked out Shining, but he swallowed it and played along. “Boring,” he admitted. “No, worse than boring. It was grueling.”

“Oh, dear. Auntie only ever uses that word when she’s talking about paperwork.”

“I sympathize,” Shining said, swiveling his ears about. It sounded like Cadence’s voice was coming from a different direction than before. “There’ve been some monster sightings near the city, so I ordered a full sweep of the surrounding areas.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad,” Cadence said as the mass under the covers wiggled around so that the twitching rump and genitals followed Shining as he moved.

Shining’s breathing grew heavy with excitement. Cadence’s teasing had left him at half mast, and it would only grow from there. Shining tried to focus on unsexy thoughts. He suspected that the moment he was fully erect would be like ringing the dinner bell to a starving nympho.

“It really isn’t,” he continued warily. “I had to take three regiments off their usual patrols, meaning I had to have the rest pull double duty to take up the slack.”

“Really? If it’s that important, shouldn’t you be leading the operation?”

Shining blinked incredulously. Did his fiancé really suggest he should be somewhere other than in grabbing distance of her pinkness? Maybe this mood was lighter than he initially believed. Either that or she was just being a responsible Princess, putting the needs of her ponies before her own, which in turn would make him more likely to lower his guard. It was hard to tell with her, sometimes.

“The operation doesn’t actually start until tomorrow,” Shining explained, now on the wall opposite the door. “Most monsters are nocturnal, so we plan to start bright and early, so I was hoping for a good night’s rest.” His voice was imploring. He hoped his fiancé would see reason and let him off the hook.

“But sweetie,” Cadence whined. “I was under the impression that you found vigorous exercise before bed always led to the soundest sleep.”

Shining opened his mouth to rebuke the allegation, but couldn’t find the words. Exercise before bed really did help him sleep. When he was young, that had always meant a brisk run or a few dozen jumping jacks before showering and collapsing on his sheets. Exercise was Shining’s sleep aid, as well as his wake-up call. But ever since he’d started courting a certain pink alicorn, he’d switched to a different sort of routine.

Cadence’s logic was distressingly sound.

Regardless, Shining shook his head. It didn’t matter if the mare he planned to marry was right or not. His pride was on the line, not just as a stallion, but as the Captain of the Canterlot Royal Guard. By refusing to call out the safe word the moment he suspected something, he’d committed to the game. And like his sire had always taught him, ‘never start something you can’t finish.’

Shining was at the window now. These had always proven to be especially tricky obstacles. Simply walking in front of them was akin to a suicide run, and trying to crawl beneath would be awkward and leave him vulnerable. In thinking of a strategy to avoid what was increasingly looking like his inevitable defeat, the white stallion once more spied the mouthwatering rump beneath the sheets.

Decoy or not, Cadence had devoted an awful lot of magic to making the lump as realistic as possible. Crunching the numbers in his head real quick, Shining figured that, combined with the slight distortion hiding the location of her voice, Cadence had used up just about all the magic she was allowed for the game. However, that was no reason to get cocky.

An animation spell was indeed costly, but his fiancé wouldn’t devote so much power to just a decoy. If he tried making a break for the bathroom, he would surely set off the real trap. He imagined a net or some sort of snare, likely tied into the rump that now gave an enticing bounce.

Shining glanced down and found his erection was almost at full mast. Time was short. He looked back up and took one last scan of the room. There was nothing. No furniture out of place, no rustling of fabrics, and not even a new poster hung on the wall. There was nowhere for Cadence to hide, except as the bulge under the covers. Increasingly desperate with a dwindling window of safety, Shining devised a strategy and, like a true soldier, committed.

Bracing himself against the wall, Shining propelled himself forward with a powerful lunge, heading straight for the bed. A lifetime of exercise had left him with muscles comparable to an above-average earth pony, allowing him to close the distance in under a second. He turned his shoulder to aim at the winking backside. If it was a decoy, he’d shatter the trap and immediately make a break for the bathroom. If it was the real Cadence… At least she liked it rough.

Less than an inch away from the clinging bedsheets, Shining tensed and braced for impact. He felt the contact of the sheets, followed by the distinct crackle of a spell shattering. But that wasn’t the end of it. Shining’s momentum carried him forward, inch by inch. In a fraction of a second, his mind ran on pure adrenaline and instinct. He waited for it. Inch after inch, he sank into the sheets that hadn’t been given enough time to fall. He waited for that moment of contact, when his muscles would meet that bit of resistance of whatever thing was hidden underneath. Inch after inch, but there was nothing.

Shining’s mine reeled in anxious panic. Nothing? How can there be nothing? There has to be something! Cadence wouldn’t devote this much magic to just a decoy! Unless… He looked up.

The ceiling over their bed had a short curtain beneath it. The curtain could be magically extended to drop down and completely enclose the bed in red, velvety isolation. Normally, the default length of this curtain was only a few inches, nowhere near enough to hide Cadence’s considerable assets. That was why he’d dismissed them in the first place. However, looking at them now, Shining’s heart sank as he realized they’d been lengthened just enough to do a job.

Shining’s eyes continued on their course as his face paled from the sense of impending doom. His pink nemesis had dislodged herself from the bed’s ceiling top, pushing off so that she fell with more than just gravity on her side. Light purple eyes practically glittered as her excitable smile almost glowed with glee. Her multi-hued mane fluttered about behind her as her prey grew nearer by the second.

Shining gulped, fighting the relaxation Cadence’s smile always caused. The game was still on. He grabbed a handful of covers, hoping to grip the mattress beneath. With that, he might have enough leverage to adjust his momentum and sling himself off the bed and towards the bathroom. His grip tightened, and he felt a bit of tension. Yes! Close. Tighter. So very close. He could practically feel the warmth of his beloved upon him.

Shining’s hand tightened just a little more, certain he’d gripped the mattress. Victory was near. He was so very close. And then… he kept going.

Shining’s triumphant grin vanished, brief as it was. He’d failed to adequately grip the mattress. It was game over. All that was left to do was wait for his momentum to keep carrying him forward, right on a collision course with a wall of extra soft pillows, followed by the impact of the mare he’d vowed to marry as she would inevitably wrap herself around him in her fiercest and most loving embrace. Truly, if there was a worse doom a stallion could face, Shining didn’t want to know about it.