It started with a Sneeze

I can explain. Explain what! Why in the world would I say such a dumb thing? What was I thinking?! I slowly look up to the mares before me and I can't help but feel as though I am on trial for doing some heinous act. Shortly after Twilight detained me. She gathered the remaining members of the manesix in a makeshift courtroom inside her Crystal Castle. I stand alone in the Defendant stand with Starlight in the Prosecutor area. Twilight sits in the judge's chair armed with her crown and a small crystal gavel. Applejack is the Bailiff with her rope in her hoof ready for anything. As for the remaining members of Twilight's best friend pool, they are acting as the Jury. Fluttershy looks like she is still waking up if her small yawn she hid behind her wing is anything indication. As for the other three, they look like they want to rip me to shreds every time I look at them. I still have no idea where they got all the furniture needed to have a proper courtroom procedure here in such a short amount of time. But considering one of her friends is Pinkie Pie, I just sum it up to her being Pinkie Pie.

Although I am all for justice and seeing the bad guys getting what is coming to them. I never imagined I would ever find myself on this side of the law. I am no bad guy, I am innocent! But how am I going to conceive them that? As far as they know, I am a stranger who had sneaked into one of their best friend's bed in the middle of the night. Any logical person would think that only a pervert or an evil person would be the ones to do such questionable actions. But in my defense, it wasn't on purpose.

I still cannot wrap my head around what is happening. One moment I was getting ready to go to sleep, next thing I knew I found myself in bed with my favorite Pony. And speaking of said mare, I don't think she is willing to forgive me anytime soon. I tried to give her an apologetic wave to maybe soften her anger, but I don't think it's working. If the click of her tongue is anything to go by. I'm not sure how I'm going to solve that problem but one thing at a time.

In addition to arriving in Equestria, I also found myself transformed into a unicorn stallion. I got a decent color scheme all things considering, a light brown coat with a black mane and tail and green eyes to boot. Also, I noticed my cutie mark is that of an Old Fashioned Game Controller symbolizing my love for old video games. Go figure. Before I can think too much about the situation, Twilight uses her magic to slam her gavel bringing all eyes on her.

“The court is now in session,”

I know we just started but I can't help but raise my hoof like a kindergartener asking for permission to speak, “Question?”

“What?”

“Where is my lawyer?”

She was taking it back at my question, “What is a lawyer?” She asked before looking at the other ponies in the room trying to understand what I was talking about. Unfortunately for her none of the others seems to know what I'm talking about as they share her confusion,

“You know a lawyer. The pony that's supposed to help the represent me and defend me in this proceeding?”

She tilts her head at me as if I asked the dumb question, “Why would you need some pony else to defend you in this case?”

“Ah,” I say dumbly, “To make sure that everyone follows the law accordingly, In case some pony doesn't understand the formalities of the situation?” I stated as if I were quoting common knowledge revolving around our current situation,

Twilight thinks about what I just said looking up in thought, “That's a good idea. I'll make a note of that,” She says before summoning a scroll and quill to write that down,

You know, it never dawned on me that the court systems here would be very different compared to back home. Then again, since princesses still rule the land that would mean that they have the final say about everything that goes around here. Looks like I'm on my own with this one.

“Moving back to the topic,” Twilight says before sending her scroll and quill away, “I gather everypony here because this stallion-”

“Braden Your Highness,” I clarified for her,

“Thank you. Braden was found this morning in Starlight's Shimmer bed with her still in said bed.”

Applejack tilts her head as she thinks about the situation, “So we're dealing with a stalker here?”

“I think pervert is a more appropriate term for this Fiend” Rarity adds with a look of disgust at me,

“Maybe he was just sleepwalking?” Fluttershy says giving me the benefit of the doubt,

However, a scoffing laugh coming from Starlight ruined any feeling of hope I was getting, “Oh, sure. He somehow was able to sleepwalk up the castle steps, through the doorway, down the hallway, enter a locked bedroom, and went to sleep in my bed without making a sound,”

“If I may-” I tried to say but Starlight quickly hushed me up using her magic to zip my mouth closed,

“You be quiet!”

“So what are we going to do with him?” Pinkie asks trying to understand the situation as I can move my mouth again,

“That's why I called your girls here,” Twilight says before going over some scrolls before her as they move in the air in a purple hull, “There haven't been any perverts in Equestria in a very long time. So I'm not sure what the protocol is to properly discipline this stallion,” She says before coming to a stop with a very old scroll her before, “Since the last time this occurred. The stallion in question was tar and feather before being banished from the herd,” The girls all agree with a nodd except for Starlight,

“That's the punishment?” Starlight says before adding, “But herds haven't been a thing in over a thousand years!”

I shuttered at hearing their words, quietly thanking that they don't do that anymore, but more concerned that it’s the banishment part is what Starlight is complaining about, and not the cruel and unusual punishment of feathering a pony. However that does raise the question, what are they going to do with me?

“I say we should just throw in jail and be done with it,” Rarity says much to my surprise,

“Don't you think that's a bit extreme?” Fluttershy says as I quickly agree with her,

“I second that!” I pleaded,

“I say since Starlight was the pony that was offended by the situation,” Rainbow says casually, “She should say what the punishment should be,”

“That doesn’t sound too bad,” Twilight turns to her, “Starlight what do you want us to do with the stallion?”

She looks at me for a solid three seconds before snorting some air out of her nose, “Personally I just want him as far away from me as possible!” She says driving a stake through my heart shattering it into a million pieces. I physically had to hang on to my table to make sure I didn't fall to the floor in pain and heartbreak,

“If that is the case, how about we have him do manual labor?” Twilight suggests as the other come up with their own ideas of what to do with me,

“How about he cleans up the town for the month?” Pinkie says,

“Or how about he has to wear a sign around his neck saying what he did wrong for the same month?” Applejack adds,

“Don't I got to say in this?” I tried to ask much to my surprise their response was almost Instant,

“No,” Everypony else in the room sets in unison much to my displeasure,

After hearing this from them a new feeling started to come from within me. A feeling I never thought I'd have to these colorful ponies before. Anger and frustration. If I was going to be forced to answer for crimes I didn't commit on purpose. I want to at least get the record straight. Stealing my resolve, I spoke out loud not caring if any Pony else thought of me right now,

“Your Highness. I know this looks really bad on my part. But you have to believe me. I had no idea how I ended up in Starlight's bedroom let alone in her bed. The last thing I remember was just turning in for the night and going into my bed, in my own house.” I tried to plead with them although their faces showed that they didn't believe me, but I pressed on, “I know you have no reason to trust a stranger, but you have to believe me. I would never do such a thing on purpose.” I move away from my table to appear before Her Highness,

“I have no excuse for how I ended up where you found me. And if you believe that I have to pay for these crimes that I didn't willingly commit. Then I'll just have to let Justice take its course and follow through with whatever punishment you see fit for my crimes,” Once I said my peace, I resumed my position at my table as Twilight looks to her friends uncertain of how to take my words. After a few moments of silence, she had her answer,

“How very Noble of you. Most ponies in your situation would be begging us not to punish them,” Twilight says as the others nod in agreement, “But you are still willing to go through with it even though you are claiming yourself innocent. Why?”

“Because I have no reason to fear Justice,” I say before staring at the floor in defeat. Not because I feel bad for what's going to happen to me, but because my words are finally catching up to my brain. I didn't want them to see the blush on my face as think back to what I just said. That had to be the corniest, sappy one-liner a three-year-old would say trying to convince his parents he is not a bad guy. I am so embarrassed, maybe it's not too late for the whole tar and feather thing?