Author's Note

SURPRISE

A surprise second update on the same day! We are cooking here on Fim.

Guess I'm having a creative surge or something.

So be warned there is tf, AP, and a lot of characters from other mediums and even a few made-up ones, and nothing sexual occurs I assure you.

Joining the madness

The three were shivering as they waited, it must have been an hour.

“Wh-when are we getting t-there?” Scootaloo asked.

“I-I dunno!” AB shivered.

“I’m so cold I can see my breath,” Sweetie said.

“It-it’ll be alright, Discord will realize we’re in here soon,” AB said.

“Ok…” The other two said.

Another twenty minutes passed before one of them broke.

“I’ve had it!” Scootaloo swam upwards and she poked her upper half out of the portal and she knocked on the suitcase.

“HEY! DISCORD! OPEN UP!” Scootaloo shouted as she knocked on it loudly.

“Scoots! Get ahold of yerself!” AB said.

“What she said… HEEEELLP!” Sweetie helped knock on the suitcase loudly and called for help.

It was then the suitcase was opened and overturned and the three fillies fell in a tangle out onto the ground.

“OW!” The three grunted and when they looked up they saw Discord in biker gear staring down at them with sunglasses.

“Eheheheh… um… surprise?” Sweetie said nervously and the three expected a heavy scolding from Discord for stowing away in his case.

“It’s about time, were you three planning on chilling in there forever?” DIscord said exasperatedly.

“...Huh?” The three said.

Discord sighed went over to his bike and got back on.

“Well? You three coming?” Discord said making a triple sidecar appear on the motorcycle.

“.....Super confused… need explanation,” Scootaloo said looking weirded out.

“Alright alright, I let you three stow away in my suitcase because I figured it’d be fun to let three mortal fillies witness this, but then it got stuck and needed some knocks from within to loosen it,” Discord explained.

“...So you were waiting on us?” Sweetie asked.

“Yep,” Discord said.

“How the absolute hay were we supposed to know that, we could have frozen to death in there!” Scootaloo said.

“Why didn’t ya tell us?” AB demanded.

“That suitcase came from the eighty-eighth dimension, it’s sound and magic proof,” Discord shrugged.

“....” The three sighed and got up and trotted over to him “So ya’ll will show us yer passtime?” AB asked.

“Yeah,” Discord said checking his watch.

“What changed?” Scootaloo asked.

“I was waiting for a please, but I got tired of waiting,” Discord said.

“Seriously!?” The three shouted simultaneously.

“Love to talk more but I’m on a time crunch, so it’s either come with me now or go home,” Discord said.

“...” The three looked at eachother.

“Gonna warn you, what you’ll experience will be quite surreal, but fun,” Discord said.

The three continued to look at eachother and they nodded before climbing into the sidecars.

“Alright! CMC and D, let’s go!” Discord said and they took off.

“Whoa!” The three cried as they went fast as RD to their destination.

When they finally made it the three needed a moment to recover from the ride.

“Alright you three, follow me,” Discord said and the three exited the vehicle and followed Discord to the tent.

“A tent? We came all this way for a tent? What are we going to do, yoga?” Scootaloo asked.

“Ah, ye of little faith,” Discord said as he chatted with the guy up front.

“SALJDNA? OWFHJIDMCZ” The being pointed at them and shook his head.

“Ah, gotcha, one moment then,” Discord walked over to them.

“What language was that?” Scootaloo asked.

“Not telling, I need to… make some adjustments to you three before we enter,” Discord said.

“....Adjustments?” AB said a little nervously.

“Yep, just remembered normal mortals can’t enter, it’s… not a pretty sight afterwards,” Discord said.

“Ooook, what kind of adjustments are we talking about?” Scootaloo asked.

“Congratulations, you three will transcend today,” Discord said.

“We’re going to be alicorns?!” Sweetie cheerfully said.

“...Not quite,” Discord said before he lit up his hands and he blasted the three with magic and they screamed as immense pain hit them.

Shadows covered their bodies until they were covered and then their outlines gained their colors.

Orange, yellow, and white, then AB and Scootaloo grew horns and Sweetie and AB gained wings.

Next they started to grow taller and change until they resembled adult ponies in shape.

When the pain finally eased they fell over and panted and they opened their eyes and their eyes were glowing white.

“Ugh… what happened….huh? Why does my voice sound deeper?” Scootaloo asked.

“Ah feel strange,” AB said.

“Me too,” Sweetie said and they stood up and noticed they were taller, then they looked at eachother…. And screamed.

“What they hay!?” AB said looking at herself.

“I look like a… what am I?” Scootaloo said panicking.

“AAAAHHH!” Sweetie cried.

“Girls girls enough, I understand this will be an adjustment,” Discord said.

“What did you do to us?” Scootaloo asked.

“You're now chaos-touched ponies, a rare breed indeed, I have gifted you each with a fragment of my power,” Discord said.

“And why do we look older?” Scootaloo asked.

“Well you can’t expect to drink as a kid,” Discord said turning to the guy “Will this do?” Discord asked.

“GBBBBBBB…. SA, JASJKSADJKLDSAK, OIJOFIJALODFJALKSJDA?” He asked.

“I’ll tell you later, first let’s go get a drink,” Discord gestured to the three new mares.

“HDHSJNBF SJSWUE- I can’t argue with that, go right ahead,” The man's voice suddenly became clear as day to the three mares.

“Wait? He CAN speak ponish?” Scootaloo asked as she followed Discord in with the other two.

“No, you three just adjusted to him, speaking of which, welcome, to The Chaos Club!” Discord introduced them as they walked into the tiny tent and found themselves in a vast huge building, intricate, paradoxical and almost abstract in its form, stairs on the ceiling, slot machines everywhere, a bar, and beings of all shapes and sizes everywhere.

“Whoaaaa….” The three said with dropped jaws.

“Yeah, same thing I said when I first got here,” Discord said as they wandered in “Just be careful of the blue tiles, they are finicky,” Discord said.

“Huh?” AB said before she stepped on one and it darted away making her fall over.

“Whoa!” AB said as she hit the floor.

“Careful, and don’t step on the pink or red tiles, they are traps,” Discord said.

“Huh?” Sweetie said before she stepped on one and it bounced her into the air and she landed on AB.

“Ooof!” the two mares grunted.

“And-”

“Let me guess this brown one is a trap too?” Scootaloo asked.

“No those are safe, but don’t step on the green ones,” Discord said before seeing Scoots was standing on one and it exploded and flung her onto her friends.

“OW!” They all grunted.

“Heh, you three have much to learn about this place,” Discord said.

“Ugh…” They groaned.

As Discord brought them along they had to watch every tile they stepped on.

“Ah don’t get it! How come yer not even looking?” AB demanded.

“I’m just that good,” Discord said.

“Ugh,” Scootaloo said as she stepped on another brown tile “Who designs a place like this?” Scootaloo asked.

“Someone who wants to keep every visit lively,” Discord chuckled as he got to a bar stool, but instead of sitting on it he sat on a seat on the ceiling and he waved to an image of a person on the wall.

“Hey Prismo! Three strong shots for the newcomers!” Discord said.

“Sure thing friend,” Prismo said before suddenly three strong shots of liquor materialized on the counter.

“Hey Dis! Dis guy in da house!” a strange pink elephant said as he fist bumped Discord with his trunk.

“And lookie here, a rare sight you are Loki,” Discord said seeing the Marvel Loki sipping some Whiskey.

“Leave me be, I just lost my home Asguard,” Loki sighed.

“Always da party pooper,” The elephant said before turning and seeing the three struggling mares trying to approach the counter “...Dey new here?” The Elephant asked.

“Yeah, in fact, they’ve only recently been inducted into the pantheon of chaos,” Discord said.

“...Woooow, dey not ready for that,” The elephant picked up a keg of beer and drank it through his trunk.

“Hey, treat the newcomers well and I assure you they’ll surprise you,” Prismo said.

Sniff sniff

“I smell something… weird, Bill,” Discord turned to see Bill Cipher on another chair, this one situated diagonally from the counter.

He swigged hard using his eyelids like a mouth and set it down.

“Ugh… you would NOT believe the day I had yesterday,” Bill said.

“Do tell,” Discord said ignoring another explosion and Scootaloo crying out.

“Get this, outsmarted and beaten by two kids, and two old farts who happen to look like eachother, I got iced hard, it’ll be a looooooooooooong time before I can come back to take my revenge on their descendants… or at least until Gravity Falls gets a part two,” Bill said.

“Ooff, I feel you there buddy, but hey, you did win our death battle at least,” Discord said ignoring another explosion and this time Sweetie cried out.

“Yeah, and got reimprisioned, can’t catch a break I tell ya,” Bill said.

“Dahahaha, I could rewatch that a hundred times,” The Elephant said.

“FINALLY!” They all looked to see Scootaloo and the other making it to the bar “Whose the insane stupid bozo who set all those traps on the floor? This place is a death trap!” Scootaloo said exasperatedly.

“.....” The whole place went silent and a sudden foreboding presence came down on them.

“Huh?” AB said shivering from the weight of it.

“Eheheheh, th-they were kidding of course, their new here,” Discord said outloud nervously.

The ominous presence lifted eventually and the place returned to normal.

“What the hay was-”

“Are you three insane!?” Bill snapped.

“What?” The three mares said.

“Not wise, not wise,” The Elephant shook his head.

“I’m going to move on now,” Loki said leaving.

“What’d I do?” Scootaloo asked.

“Never… insult Chief D’s club,” Discord said warily “You're just lucky he wasn’t in a destructive mood, and you have the virtue of being ignorant,” Discord said.

“I’m super confused, all I did was complain about-” Scootaloo said before Bill cut her off.

“Nothing, you did nothing, said nothing, end of story,” Bill Cipher said glancing over his shoulder.

“Who is Chief D?” AB asked.

“Up there,” Discord said pointing to a strange figure.

He resembled a metallic grey-skinned man with red markings on his body and a feathery headdress his eyes were glowing green, he was also wearing a suit and he was meditating.

“...Why is everyone scared of him?” Sweetie asked.

“Did you not feel that oppressive aura? That was but a sample of his power,” Prismo said quietly.

“...How strong is he?” Scootaloo asked nervously.

“He could just blink, and we’d all die, I heard he once annihilated half the multiverse,” Bill said “Even I’m not insane enough to provoke him,”

“Wow… and he got mad just because I said…. You know,” Scootaloo said nervously.

“Can we stop talking about him?” Bill said firmly.

“Da, it is safest to just enjoy the daily festivities instead of provoking the wrath of the strongest trickster in the multiverse,” The Elephant said.

"Ok ok," Sweetie said.

‘I’m sorry, who are you?” Scootaloo asked, deciding to change the subject.

“The Elephant,” He said.

“As in your name,” Scootaloo asked.

“It is that, The Elephant, man you weren’t kidding when you said they were new,” The Elephant said.

“It’ll take some time, but hey I have some Equestrians to finally join me at the bar, maybe one day I’ll get Fluttershy here,” Discord said.

“Ah, your little pony crush?” Bill snarked.

“Come now, everyone ships us,” Discord said “Speaking of drinking though I haven’t seen you three drink at all,” Discord said.

“We’re kids,” AB said.

“Not right now, aren’t you curious about what a chaos shot tastes like?” Discord said taking a small swig and shaking his head “Whoo! A punch to the senses,” Discord said.

“Well… I guess we’re of age right now,” Scootaloo shrugged.

“Ah guess so,” AB said and Sweetie nodded and they clanked cups before downing the whole glass each.

“Whoo! Fruity!” Scootaloo said before noticing Discord was staring at them “What?”

“I guess I should have warned you to take moderate swigs and not down the whole thing, it’ll hit you pretty hard right now,” Discord sighed.

“What are you-” WHAM!

Scootaloo AB and Sweetie woke up on the counters with a start “Whoa! What just happened?” Sweetie cried.

“You downed a whole chaos shot for the first time and it hit you so hard you were out before you hit the counter, you’ve been asleep for twenty years now,” Prismo said.

“...Hahaha, nice one buddy,” Scootaloo said.

“....” Prismo just stared.

“You're not laughing,” AB said.

“You were all out for twenty years,” Prismo said.

"L-Literally?" Sweetie said paling a little.

“....What? B-but I-” Scootaloo began to panic but Discord patted her on the back.

“Worry not, time is relative here, only about twenty hours have passed on Equus,” Discord said.

“That stuff is straight-up poison if it has enough kick to knock you out for that long!” Scootaloo exclaimed.

“That’s why you swig it not down it,” Bill sighed “Noob”

“Well, now that that is over with, let’s move onto the next activity before coming back for more drinks,” Discord said.

“Oook, as long as it doesn’t involve any more incapacitation,” Sweetie said.