When she found herself teleported into a gameshow named ‘Leopardy,’ Ocellus was starting to have second thoughts. Discord stood in front of a big screen with the name of the show, as well as a list of topics like ‘Rewritten history,’ ‘That’s not how biology works,’ and ‘Famous statues of Antiquity.’

She was pretty sure any question regarding the last one would have ‘Discord’ as the answer, but the other two she noticed could just as easily involve him, she realised.

Before Ocellus could voice any concerns, Discord conjured up a microphone. “Welcome to ‘Leopardy,’ the best game show in Equestria.”

“Are we being recorded?” she asked. “Or is this a live broadcast?”

“Oh, right, I don’t have a license,” he replied, slapping his forehead. “No, this is for my entertainment only.”

“You care about having a license for things?”

“Hey, I may be near all-powerful, but I’m not taking on the Equestrian Revenue Service, okay? That’s the only branch of government I can’t saw off for kindling.” He shook his head and snapped his fingers. Next to him, and filing cabinet appeared, and he started rummaging through it. “Now let’s see what we have in terms of options.”

Ocellus gulped as he tossed out a few large cats, who thankfully ignored her.

The draconequus didn’t notice, fiddling through the files. “Hmm… Twelve Labours? Always fun, but where am I going to get a flock of Stymphalids at this hour? No, no. Trials of Baleful Polymorph? Doesn’t really do much on a changeling. Slaying The Dragons?” He raised his eyebrows and stowed it away under his shoulder, grinning evilly. “Saving that for when I DM on Tuesday… Eureka!” He held one of the papers up high and turned to face Ocellus. “The Earth King’s Gambit. Perfect mix of modern and classic, feels a lot older than it is, a masterpiece of a trial. So glad I stole it.”

“Should I be worried?” Ocellus asked.

Discord snapped his fingers again to change his clothes. When the smoke cleared, he looked dressed in a regal outfit, one with a lot of white and green, and a golden apple design here and there. It looked vaguely familiar, like an outfit that belonged in the old Eastern Unicorn kingdoms.

Why Discord called it the Earth King’s Gambit, then, she could only guess.

“I have three tasks for you,” he started. “Finish them all and you’ll get your wish.”

“And if I fail?”

“That depends on how hurt you get in the attempt.”

She didn’t get the time to object. Another snap of the fingers, and she found herself in a massive cave, at least a hundred paces in radius. Light shone from green crystals, and water flowed on the edges.

In the middle, though, there was an elevated platform, the size of a small sports field, no more than shoulder height from her perspective. And in the middle of that, there was a bushel of keys.

“I seem to have lost the keys to my house,” Discord started. “Would you mind fetching them from that completely innocent and inconspicuous platform?”

Of course this was a trap, but the question was: what kind? The first thing Ocellus checked was the crystals. Her shape senses didn’t detect any kind of electrical charges, and in hindsight she figured Discord wouldn’t want to be so cliché as to deploy a bug zapper against a changeling. As crude and chaotic as he was, the spirit of disharmony still had standards, she knew that much.

Second, she checked the ceiling. There was water flowing on the edges, and again she could detect no electrical charge. Spells and enchantments, maybe, but those tended to ping differently to her senses.

And that, of course, left the floor. She noticed the cave floor was unnaturally even, meaning it had been levelled. She also noticed grooves in the floor, very regular and geometric grooves. More than likely there were pressure plates strewn about, and knowing Discord they would trigger something funny, like tree sap or a paint bomb.

Not the sort of trap to use against a creature that could fly. She opened up her wingshields and looked to her host, who merely shrugged.

Motion sensors, too, most likely, and ranged traps. A cave that high, the ceiling must have been littered with traps, too. She went straight up, to the safest place in the room: right in the middle. Then she bolted straight ahead.

There was a whirring underground, and Ocellus felt the air leave her before her ears caught the wind. A tornado had formed around the platform in mere seconds, knocking her off course. She was buffeted by the winds and slammed hindquarters first into the ceiling, at which point the winds died down and she dizzily flew to the outer edge.

“Oops, I forgot to mention! There might be a little bit of a draft going!”

She flew down to Discord. “What even is that?”

He chuckled. “Oh, that? A little something I used to have fun with when the Pegasi tribes were still around. It’s a wind barrier: you step into it, winds kick up. It’s a test, you see: Pegasi like to say they can fly faster than the wind. I like taking them up on that challenge.”

“But I’m not a Pegasus,” Ocellus argued.

Discord scoffed at the notion. “Well, we’re all for equality these days, aren’t we? Anything a Pegasus can do, you can do better. I’m sure you can speed through it if you use an adrenalin boost or something. Try flexing your muscles, and yelling, and turning your hair blonde, I hear that always works for monkeys.”

She huffed. There was no reasoning with Discord, clearly. Bracing herself, she mentally calculated how fast she should go and at what angle. The winds below had a wind-up time, and they’d pelted her outward and upward. Her best chance, though her caffeine-fueled heart hated the sound of it, was a straight dash at top speed.

She revved up her wings to full power and headed in.

Again, the winds caught her and slammed her into the wall.

“Atta girl!” Discord yelled out. “Keep doing what you’re doing! Just try harder, it’ll work eventually!”

Very funny.

He’s right, though, I can’t do it.

I can’t swoop and dive like a Pegasus pony can.

Not in this form, at least.

She reached out into her memories, to a day spent with Professor Fluttershy. She’d gotten a close look at a large predator then, one that could pluck a fully grown pony off the ground like it was nothing.

Green flames surrounded her, and when they passed, she spread her arms, now massive and powerful wings.

“Oooh, eagle form!” Discord laughed. “Never seen a shapeshifter try that one before.”

Three wingflaps, and Ocellus could guess why. The weight gave her more control, sure, but those big wings ended up catching more of the winds and it wasn’t long before she was flung right back to square one, letting out an indignant squawk.

“Oh, this’ll keep you busy for hours, I’m sure.” Discord conjured up a clucking cuckoo clock that sounded like a turkey for some reason. “Let’s hope you don’t get hungry too soon.”

Ocellus closed her eyes.

Focus. There’s a solution to this, there has to be.

Giant eagle is heavy enough, but too big.

If I try something smaller, that won’t have the weight.

Can’t fly like an eagle, can’t fly like a bat, can’t fly like a dragon, can’t fly…

It finally hit her.

Can’t fly. That’s it!

She flew up to the ceiling, to the edge of the wind barrier, then turned back into her normal form and started walking on the ceiling.

“Gonna try the old spider climb trick? Hope you have a strong back!” Discord called out.

Already, the winds were revving up.

So was she.

With a mighty leap, she went straight down into the winds, until they hit full power and started pushing her away again.

Then she turned into a blue whale.

Riding gravity’s pull on her massive cetacean weight, she smacked down on the platform, then dropped the heavy shape as the winds raged around her. She picked up the keys, the winds died down, and a flowerpot smashed into the ground right next to her.

“What was that?” she asked, gesturing the shattered pottery.

“Not again.” Discord teleported to her to inspect the thing, and scratched his head in confusion. “You know, it’s the strangest thing, that happens every time I run into a whale and I can’t figure out where these pots keep coming from.”

“Weird. I’ve got the keys.”

“Ah, and in good time, too. It really is amazing what you can do when you break the chains of habit, isn’t it?”

“I guess so. What’s the second challenge?”

A snap of the fingers and a burst of stars later, and she found herself on a balcony overlooking a jungle. That is to say, it was a jungle with a roof, since she could see the walls reaching around the balcony. The whole thing was painted a dark blue with a star pattern, but none of the constellations were right, presumably because Discord didn’t care for astronomy.

“This is my aviary,” the draconequus said. “And wouldn’t you know it, I need to do a check-up on one of my birds, but I can’t find where he is. Go in there and fetch him for me, would you? He’s trained to respond to his name.”

This was, of course, another trap. Ocellus leered at him, suspicion clear in her voice. “What kind of bird is it? A phoenix? A giant changeling-eating eagle?”

“A bird of paradise,” Discord replied. “Do you know what they look like?”

She shrugged. Ocellus had seen plenty of birds of paradise on school trips, as well as lessons from Professor Fluttershy. They were colourful, broad of wing but not large of stature, and they had fancy tails. “Sure.”

“Perfect. Now, the bird you want to find is named Apus. He’s very precious to me, and he’s well trained, so you don’t need to worry about him hurting you. Call out to him and he’ll sit on your arm, no problem.”

She closed her eyes to think. “It can’t be that easy. What’s the catch?”

“You are a smart girl, yes. As you might have guessed, there are other birds in there, that may not be so friendly. I’ve also got a guardian patrolling the premises, for any interlopers that take a wrong turn at Applecorky when they teleport. You’ll know the guardian when you see him. I suggest you make sure you get the right bird in your sights before you make any noise.”

Ocellus sighed. “Okay. How many birds of paradise are there?”

“Ones that look like Apus? It’s only him. He’s one of a kind.”

“Good to know.”

Preferring the cautious approach, Ocellus turned herself into an eagle again and did a quick swoop over the area.

Down below, angry squawks reacted to her presence. She recognised the sounds, and she felt the heat build-up.

Phoenix nests.

She dodged one firebolt, then another. She could only barely see the phoenixes themselves through the canopy, so she decided to fly down and transform into a barn owl.

Much better.

The barn owl form was unfamiliar, but much more appropriate. She had sharp eyes, quick wings to duck between trees, even if she did have to sacrifice raw speed for dexterity.

Let’s see… peafowl, phoenixes, sparrows, secretary birds, ostriches…

A familiar chirp caught her attention, and she made a sharp turn towards it.

Bird of paradise. Got you.

She found the thing sitting on a branch, preening itself. It was a fine-looking specimen: emerald wings and back, little downy crown on its head, and long, fine tailfeathers.

She transformed into her normal form and called out gently. “Oh, Apus? Here, Apus.”

The bird flew up, and the sky came down on her.

“What the…”

The ceiling of the aviary came down towards her, the walls closed in around the makeshift jungle. Stars moved in ways that weren’t natural, and then it finally dawned on Ocellus.

Those weren’t stars.

That was a coat.

She’d just drawn the attention of a bird big enough to snatch an Ursa Major, with an Ursa Major’s coat to boot.

The guardian. That thing is the guardian.

Apus, understandably, wanted no part in this, and he booked it right when a massive eye appeared in the night sky, followed by a beak.

Don’t get distracted. You need that bird. “Apus! Here, Apus, here!”

The guardian screeched, and Apus fled further. Ocellus almost wondered how that guardian was even supposed to get to her with its massive size, but apparently the thing was part fluid. It managed to shrink down from ‘mythical titan you’ll never run into’ size to ‘very real, barely documented for obvious reasons, apex predator’ size and homed in on her.

She chased after Apus, wings buzzing and burning from the exertion.

“Apus! Apus, here! Apus, come here!” she shouted as more birds flew up from the trees.

Then she saw two Apuses, and two more. There was a whole flock of birds of paradise, in fact.

“Wait, that was the wrong one?” she asked.

“Might have been a good idea to ask more questions first, huh?!” Discord shouted from the balcony.

Oh, that no-good, double-crossing…

A loud ‘caw’ interrupted her inner cursing.

Don’t get distracted. You need to find the real Apus.

But seriously, who puts that many birds of that many different species together?

And who names their pet bird after a constella-oh, you have got to be kidding me.

She looked back at the giant bird as it came in for another circling swoop over the jungle. The wings, the crown, the tail, it all matched, though the proportions were slightly off.

One of a kind, he said.

Ocellus flew straight up above the canopy and extended her arm.

“Apus?!” She closed her eyes, bracing for impact.

A light tap on her arm was all she felt. Shrunk down to normal size, the bird made up of night sky sat calmly. Ocellus could feel her heart pounding, and her stomach trying to untie all the knots it had gotten itself in.

She flew the bird over to the balcony, and Discord took over. The star bird cawed happily at his owner, even as he got his feathers checked and his beak inspected.

“That was… terrifying. That’s the biggest creature I’ve ever encountered.”

“And yet it was the one thing you had to get.” Discord petted his bird’s head like it was a cat. “Funny, isn’t it? How the thing that scares you most can be the thing you want the hardest.”

With the adrenalin still rushing through her system, Ocellus wasn’t in a philosophical or psychological mood. “Sure, I guess. Third challenge?”

Apus was let go, and Discord snapped his fingers.

They materialised in a fighting ring.

“Oh, no, don’t tell me it’s combat?”

“Come now, you must have seen this coming,” Discord said. “When all the gamey is done, a good fight will still be the best entertainment to be had.”

“Fine. Bring out your three contestants.”

“My what?”

“Your three contestants. That’s the catch, isn’t it? You’ve got two scary monsters waiting in the wings, and one creature that looks harmless, but really ends up being the worst of the bunch. You want me to pick the harmless one, so just bring it out already.”

He scoffed. “Honestly, what do you take me for? I like my classics, sure, but I’m not an old hack. No, I had something much more interesting in mind. A little bit of karma, if you will.”

“Karma?” Ocellus felt a lurch, a tugging under her hooves. Her shadow moved, even though she didn’t.

Then her shadow got up and blinked.

Volume flowed into the thing, along with greyed-out colours. It flapped its wings as its red eyes opened, a wicked grin on its face.

“Oh, no.” Ocellus shivered.

“Neat trick, isn’t it?” Discord joked. “Little something I picked up from a boring old four-eyed loser, the spirit of daddy issues, if you can believe it.”

The thing hissed at her. It didn’t have the holes of her old form, but it had all the threatening presence, all the aggression that was forced upon her to fuel that vampiric magic her kind used to use.

“Don’t worry about destroying it,” Discord said. “It doesn’t have sapience, it’s barely sentient. It only pretends, much like you used to. But it still has your memories, your skills, your power. Only one thing that it lacks, really.”

Ocellus took a step back, and the thing rammed into her, sending her flying across the arena.

“Your kind-hearted nature!” Discord shouted. “Good luck beating yourself up!”

Think fast. I’m supposed to fight this thing.

But it’s me. How do I fight?

Apparently this Anti-Ocellus fought by turning itself into a cougar and pouncing.

Ocellus defaulted into a squirrel form to dash and zig zag away from the feline, confusing it in the process. That only bought her a few seconds, though, as the Anti-Ocellus shifted into an falcon and homed in on her.

I can’t dodge that in this form, or any form. Block it!

The falcon ended up bumping into a green elephant trunk, and Ocellus tossed the thing onto the ground before stomping down, hard.

Raising her massive paw up, she only saw a hole.

Burrowing. Good, it’ll be a little while before the next attack.

What would she do?

What would I do?

Those big elephant ears caught a familiar and haunting buzzing sound.

Neighsian hornet. Can those things sting through elephant hide?

The buzzing closed in on her.

Can I risk it? It wouldn’t kill me, but it’d hurt enough to break my concentration.

Where’s it coming from? Is it circling or dashing?

Her mind reeled. Then a moment of clarity pierced through the haze.

Wait a second, what am I doing?

Cutting out the middle pony, she turned into a rock, fast enough to make the hornet bounce off her granite surface without any further damage.

Anti-Ocellus took a cue from her original and flew up before turning into an anvil. Ocellus, likewise, went back to her normal form and rolled out of the way.

Her speed’s the same, her reaction time’s the same.

She has the same sorts of ideas as me.

That only leaves one way to beat her.

Ocellus rose up on her hind legs, readying for the next attack. She’d always been taught to favour the ambush predators, since they were more efficient in solo combat. Anti-Ocellus, predictably, went into another feline form, this time that of a black panther.

The thing leaped at her and bit her in the neck, just as she shifted into another form, that of an eel, this time.

Then, all Ocellus had to do was flex.

Teeth closed around her, but didn’t pierce her flesh.

Gotcha.

The panther was frozen around her, save for a few errant twitches. The teeth hurt, sure, but she wasn’t bleeding.

Discord called out. “Wait, what’s going on here? Ref, what is she doing?”

A second Discord, this one in a referee uniform complete with a coach’s whistle, appeared and inspected Anti-Ocellus. The panther fell over, leaving Ocellus flopping on the ground in her eel form.

The Discord ref poked her and immediately backed away. “Yow! That’s no regular fish, that’s an-”

Ocellus turned back and wiped herself where the bite marks and drool had marked her. “Electric eel. It’s a dirty trick, but surprisingly effective against opponents that like to bite. So, are you entertained now?”

Up above, Discord was rolling on the floor laughing, while Ocellus felt her shadow flow back into her.

“Bwahahahaaa! The changeling… turned herself… into a bugzapper!” he cried out. “Oh, that has to be the funniest thing I’ve seen since the beauty contest!”

Ocellus’ ears perked. “Wait, what?”

“What? D’oh, I mean… yes, you have passed all the tests.” He teleported next to her. “And here is your prize.”

He conjured up three doors.

“Any one of these doors will give you the perfect day for Scutum. Just open one and you’ll get exactly the perfect day.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely.”

“No tricks?”

“Just a time limit. You have ten seconds to choose.”

“What?”

“I mean, all this divination is very precise, it comes down to the second. Nine.”

“But what’s the difference? Is there one that’s boobytrapped?”

“No, seven.”

“But what’s the correct one?”

“They all are. Five.”

“But, but…”

“Four, three, two… one.”

Just as Ocellus tried to reach for the middle door, they all disappeared.

Her heart sank. “No, I did what you asked.”

“Yes, and then you refused to collect your reward.” Discord did a little golf clap to applaud her. “Very brave, very smart.”

She pawed at the ground and waved in the air where the door had been. “No, no. You have to let me get this. We had a deal.”

“Yes, we did. And you were so busy worrying about what to get that you didn’t get anything. My end of the deal is held up, yours is as well.”

She felt tears start to form in her eyes. “Discord, please, I’m begging you. I’m tired, I can’t think straight, you have to give me something!”

“D’oh, of course you get something. It’s not your fault you’re a bundle of nerves wrapped in transmutation magic. Here, consider this my gift. And stop crying, you’re sucking all the fun out of this.”

He snapped his fingers, and she was back in Ponyville.

“Oh, Ocellus, hi!”

Right in front of Scutum.

She was bruised, battered, and tired, and she was standing right in front of her boyfriend.

Ocellus sat down before she could collapse.

Author's Note

I went with 'Pitfall' as an easy synonym to 'Jeopardy,' but I changed that to 'Leopardy' at the last second, because... who'd get that reference otherwise, right? No points for guessing the inspiration for the trials, Discord spells it out. The four-eyed loser who was the spirit of daddy issues is a little antagonist called Trigon, he was in a... little known, obscure cartoon that nobody watched and no one remembers, really, can't recall the name right now . I hear it got a very popular reboot on Cartoon Network, though.

Since this does take place in the same universe as the Discord's mom story, Apus makes an appearance. And he's doing much better now, turns out.

Initially I had planned to do four chapters only, but given how the trials end, it made more sense to do a chapter break here. Still need to finish the resolution to the story, but it's been drafted for a while now, so... look forward the end a little longer, I suppose.