Creak, Creak! Creak, Creak! Creak, Creak!

The sound of the wooden-framed playground swing reverberated like clockwork across the dew-draped schoolyard playground, where only a few of the single-room classrooms students decided to haunt this Saturday morning. A herd of rowdy colts chased at eachother aimlessly as a small group of foals worked on a three-poster board for a science project; all the while, Scootaloo was focusing on her breathing as she tried to get the most height she could out of a single swing.

‘A baby bird might faceplant into the mud 1000 times before raising itself with a single flap.’ Scootaloo thought to herself, inhaling when she swung backwards, exhaling when she swung forwards. The wind combing through her fur in both directions felt right, those precious few seconds of wind in her wings the purest joy the young pegasus could feel in life. She whispered to herself- “Pegasi rule the sky! Until I get my Cutie Mark, the clouds are my destiny!” She affirmed herself, leaning back as she reached the back-facing apex of her swing. Leaning forward, the swing creaked as she stuck her wings out in preparation to let go. “NOW!”

She flapped her wings with all her might, arching her back in the air and unable to keep from clenching her eyes shut. She thought to herself with a grin- ‘I-I’m doing it! I’m doing-’

THUNK!
Creak, Creak! Creak, Creak! Creak, Creak!

With her face planted firmly in the dewey grass, she lay flat and soundlessly in front of the still-creaking swingset, barely having made it a few feet. Planting her forehooves down at her sides, she had to push to peel her face off the dirty ground. “Ptoo!” She spit out a few blades of grass she’d accidently closed her mouth on, rubbing the dirt off her face and shaking her head to splash droplets of dew around. Like clockwork, she felt her hooves all around her cheeks and face, applying pressure in various key spots. “No bruising. That’s nice, at least.” ‘Count your blessings, Scoots. Count your-’

“Kya-hahahahaaaa!”
“Snrk, Bahhaaahhaaa!”

‘Slight correction- bruised ego.’ She thought to herself, hearing the bratty laughter which became a staple of her nightmares ringing out from behind her. “Come on- can’t I have one day?” She asked, more annoyed than humiliated as she stood up, turning around to meet their smug grins with a flat expression. “What’ll it be today? Blank flank, or chicken?” Diamond Tiara scoffed at her, Silver Spoon huffing and crossing her arms immediately after.

“Blank-flank, please-” DT said snarkily, swiping her hoof dismissively- “And considering the fact that you still can’t fly, I’m gonna call you chicken, too.” Scootaloo rolled her eyes, standing tall even as her bully took a step forward, jabbing a hoof forward and hovering it over her chest; glaring at eachother, DT growled- “But seeing that you won’t step back- I can’t call you chicken for that. That was a compliment, by the way.” Scoots could only chuckle with a slight shake of her head and a grin.

“Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle are grounded this weekend, Tiara.” she said, pointing her hoof right back at her scowling bully. “If I slapped you silly in front of them, they’d run right to Cheerilee or their sisters; do you think anypony else on this playground would snitch on me?” She asked with a smarmy tone, causing DT to huff with a smirk after a few seconds, neither one of them backing down.

“If you were gonna do somethin’ about me, you’d have done it already.” She smirked, pointing her hoof over to Silver Spoon for a hoof-bump. “Where do you get the nerve, thinking you can bluff me?” She half-shrugged- “I can stand here all day, Chickenwing. Your move.” After a few moments, she almost felt a little shocked when the pegasi’s grin didn’t even falter.

“You’re right- I won’t hit you today. But maybe it’ll be tomorrow? Or the next day?” Scootaloo shrugged, causing DT to roll her eyes and huff. “Just like what you saw- I’ll probably keep falling off the swings over and over, until the day where I jump off and don’t land on my face.” She affirmed, getting an incredulous look from her bully as she affirmed- “I’ll be soaring through the air on my own two wings… all the while your four hooves stay firmly planted in the ground. Who’ll be more like a chicken then, huh?” She crossed her arms defiantly as her bullies considered her words momentarily.

The bullies turned to face each other slowly before bursting out into laughter, the two falling over as they clutched their sides. DT snorted and spoke up- “Snrrrrk, did the chicken hit her head so much she forgot what type of bird she was?” Scootaloo huffed indignantly, rolling her eyes and stomping her hoof into the ground.

“What’s it gonna take for you two to quit with that stupid insult!?” She asked, giving the pink filly a devious idea. “It hurt at first, but now it’s just annoying!” She scowled at DT as she stood up, locking eyes with a grin as Silver Spoon recollected herself.

“Fine. We’ll leave you alone so you can keep slamming your muzzle into the dirt until your face goes flat like a pug.” She said sarcastically, poking Scootaloo in the chest- “But I’ll make you a bet; you won’t be able to learn to fly before sundown today.” the pegasus blinked in confusion, rolling her eyes until what DT said next made her heart skip a beat. “If you don’t, Silver Spoon and I are gonna tie you down and tar and feather you in front of everypony else in our class.” She leaned in menacingly, whispering in Scootaloo’s ear- “You don’t have a choice, my friend; these are the terms, and you accept them as I set them.” Scootaloo felt a hoof shove her chest, pushing her back onto her flanks as the two fillies slowly walked away laughing. “Come on, Silver Spoon! We have shopping to do!”

WIth an indignant huff, Scootaloo stormed off, intent on thinking of a plan of action. Leaving in the opposite direction, she turned her neck back to yell- “If I win, you two shave your manes!” She yelled back, causing them to turn back with expressions of faux-horror. “YEAH! LAUGH IT U-Ouufh!”

She slammed into a fencepost the second she turned her head forward, falling into her back with a piece of paper stuck to her face. She responded to her bullie’s amplified laughter with a sigh, peeling the sheet of paper off her face and taking a look at what she literally ran into.

Her eyes widened when she realized what she was holding in her hooves, rolling off her back and standing up with a defiant grin. “Perfect!” She yelled as she dashed off, tucking the Help Wanted poster under her wing.

—

SLAM! “TRIXIEEEE! I’M HERE FOR THE JOB OFFER!”

Scootaloo slammed the door to the small wagon-home open, causing its sole resident to pause mid-breath. “Trixie has no clue where this paraphernalia came from, officer!” She said, instinctually hiding her oddly shaped drinking glass which looked exactly like the one Rainbow Dash kept under her coffee table. The unicorn held a hoof to her chest momentarily to calm herself down, turning around and clearing her throat. “Oh, it’s… I don’t know who you are. Ohh, Trixie thought she was done for…” She muttered to herself, readjusting her starry cape and donning her hat on the way to the door. “What can the Great and Powerful Trrrrixieee!!!” She stood proud as she introduced herself, cape flowing in an imaginary wind that made Scootaloo feel mildly impressed. “... do for you today?” She asked, causing the filly to momentarily forget her goal.

“Yeah, I gotta ask- what’re those weird drinking glasses for? Rainbow Dash has one, but she won’t tell me!” She asked, causing Trixie to sweat and avert her gaze nervously. “It’s pointlessly tall, and they all have that weird bulb at the bottom with the stick pointing out the side!” Trixie’s stuttering and murmuring made the pegasus remember- she had a task at hand! “Nevermind! You need an assistant before you have to cancel today’s show, and I need help with something; let’s talk terms." The filly leaned against the doorframe with a grin, causing Trixie to chuckle.

“Terms? Filly, the hourly rate is at the bottom of the poster. If you want the job, you gotta accept the terms.” Trixie explained with a huff, crossing her arms in defiance. “Come back with a union- then we’ll discuss collective bargaining.” Even as the unicorn went to shut the door, the filly grinned.

“Collective bargaining? Honey, your entire pool of willing assistants is standing right here.” Trixie paused, stopping to consider the sassy filly’s words. “I’m the collective, and you’re gonna bargain with me if you don’t feel like being a solo act today; I am the Union.” taken aback, the blue unicorn took a step back and crossed her arms with a huff. “And yes, I have been binge-reading Filly Hayffa disappearance conspiracy theories for the past two weeks. That’s not the point.” Scootaloo finally invited herself in, shutting the door behind her and taking a seat on a wooden milk-crate.

Trixie huffed, taking a seat atop the mini-fridge at the end of her bed. “Fine. Trixie agrees- the show must go on. I can tell by your persistence that you must be here with some specific terms?” She asked sarcastically, able to see the fact that her new prospective assistant… was a talentless blank-flank. “Where is your Cutie Mark? You are applying for a skilled job with no resume!” The filly just looked back at her with a raised eyebrow.

“Skilled job? Last time I watched one of your snooze-fests, Snips and Snails were your assistants!” She pointed her hoof at the mare, whose response was interrupted by a follow-up question by the filly. “Speaking of which, they didn’t show up to school this week ‘cuz they were in the hospital. You know anything about that?” The mare panicked, blurting out-

“N-no, Trixie had nothing to do with that!” She sighed, reasserting eye contact and clacking her hooves together- “Look, just tell me what you’re good at and we’ll go from there!” She pointed back at Scootaloo, who beamed a prideful grin.

“I’m good at flying- or rather, trying to fly!” She said, hopping off the milkcrate and spreading her tiny wings. “In other words, I’m good at falling; in other words, I do stunts!” She stepped forward and pointed her hoof authoritatively- “Falling with Style! That’s how I’ll learn to fly; in the meantime, you and I put on a magical stuntshow that’ll keep their hearts pumping!” Impressed by the girl's show of determined gumption, Trixie leaned forward in interest while resting her elbow on her bed frame. “And I want half of the proceeds!” Trixie huffed indignantly,

“If Trixie had a drink in her mouth, she would have spat it out!” Crossing her hooves, she outraged at the unflinching filly- “Half!? Are you out of your mind? Filly, I have bills to pay here! And rent, and I’m saving up to buy a ring for Starlight! Not to mention food, water, electricity, we-medicine.” After that slip of the tongue, she pouted and stuck her nose up. “Ten percent, since Trixie will be using her talents to sway and swoon the crowd into giving us their money!”

The filly sat down and crossed her arms. “You live in a trailer in unincorporated forestland. Even I know this is technically squatting… or something.” Trixie hung her head, knowing the filly was right. “Do you even pay taxe-”

“FINE!” Trixie huffed, “Trixie relents; if those are your terms, we have preparations to make. SPREAD THE WORD!” she declared, hopping off the fridge and striking a heroic pose- “THE SHOW GOES ON… after you sign some things.” She said to the filly, pulling a thick stack of paperwork out of the cabinet she hid the glass thing in. “None of this means anything important, I assure you.” Already, Scootaloo took her pen out of her mane.

“Cool. I’m Scootaloo- where do I sign?” The magician snorted, setting the paperwork on the floor and falling back to her flanks, since Trixie didn’t have a table.

“No no no, we’re not using that name for you. You need a stage name.” She spoke in a dead-serious tone as Scootaloo took a seat on the floor next to her. “And for the record- it’s The Great and Powerful Trixie. Nothing more, nothing less- the singular Trixie is my necronym.” The filly hummed in realization.

“Apologies. I don’t have a stage name. Can you just pick one?” The mare gave the smartass filly a devious grin.

“I’m sure I’ll think of one.” Scootaloo nodded obliviously, clicking her pen.

—

A grand wooden stage stood plum in the middle of a grassy, tree-dotted field on the outskirts of Ponyville. It would be liminal, were it not for the spectacle of magical trumpets blaring over the roaring cheer of the crowd surrounding it as a semicircular mass of ponies.

Boom! Crackle!

Sparklers were shooting all over the stage, cannons were shooting confetti as Trixie hopped out from behind the wide purple curtain blocking off view from the open-roofed stage behind her. Fireworks shot out from her horn like popping bubblewrap as she posed heroically- “BEHOLD! THE GRRREAT AND POWERFUL TRRRRIXXIEEEE!!!” The cheering intensified, unprepared for the massive serpent which shot out from the curtain, curling all over the stage and causing several screams of terror before it turned back into a fuse-cord. “ILLUSIONIST EXTRAORDINAIRE, EXPERT MAGICIAN AND SHOWMARE, AND HONEST, TAX-PAYING CITIZEN!” She finished her introduction with even louder confetti cannons, courtesy of Pinkie’s-Ferry Party Armory.

In the audience, two obese on-duty cops sat in the front row, stuffing their faces with jelly donuts. “What a good, honest citizen.” the stallion with a bushy mustache spoke, turning to his babyfaced partner whilst raising an equally bushy eyebrow and a smirk. “Hey- and she’s a beauty with a Zucchini, if ya know what I mean.” He elbowed his partner, who gave him an odd look.

“How’d your wife feel if she knew you were into those mares?” He asked, causing the mustached officer to roll his eyes with a scoff.

“Oh, please. She’d go bananas if she found out I was screwing a regular mare, let alone a transmare. Either way, I’d be up shits creek with a carrot for a paddle.” He said, looking back at the stage and hardly paying attention to the mares words. “Besides, transmares are mares too… And trans-stallions, etcetera. It’s confusing, but it’s courtesy and respect, boy.” he said in a warning tone, causing his deputy to straighten his back.

“Understood, Sheriff Jellyroll.” He responded on instinct, causing his boss to grin. “So, uh… we’re on park duty tonight, yeah?” he asked, the two sharing a small round of laughter, one after the other.

“Wonder if we’ll run into any hobo’s to mess with?” He asked with a grin, unaware of the fact that the mare on the stage resented them silently.

“BUT ENOUGH OF MY NEW ROUTINE- INTRODUCING MY less-so AMAZING ASSISTANT, THE FLYING CHICKEN!” Scootaloo groaned at the nickname, regretting the fact that she let Trixie choose. She heard the sound of a fuze lighting before the curtains were drawn, revealing the setup for the first act. The audience gasped, seeing the filly duct-taped to what seemed to be a comically large firework, striped with thick paper in a red-and-white pattern. It pointed at the sky, and the bemused filly wore a white-and-red helmet with a matching cape and a grumpy expression.

The crowd simultaneously roared in laughter and gasped, just as Trixie spoke up again- “NOT TO WORRY, FILLIES AND GENTLECOLTS!” She said, reaching into her cape and producing a sheet of paper. “THE FLYING CHICKEN SIGNED A WAIVER! IN THE EYES OF CELESTIA’S LAW, THIS IS LEGAL AND ETHICAL!” She winked at the disgusting pig-officers and made sure they got a good view of the legal form, to their satisfaction and the crowds relieved uproar of cheering. “OUR GODDESS WOULD NEVER LEAD US ASTRAY- PRAISE HER! PRAISE THE SUN!” All lip service to endear herself to the crowd as much as possible, and she couldn’t keep the grin off her face as she sat down and spread her hooves out high. A crowd that likes her tips a lot- and that is exactly what she wanted.

Scootaloo waited patiently as the fuze burned down, slowly reaching its destination beneath the rocket's red fins. She glanced into the audience and saw something that made her scowl; Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon sat in the front row with unbearably smug grins. While the former sat atop two fluffy white pillows, the other leaned against a large can labeled as Pine-Needleless Tree Sap! The orange filly squinted to read the cans label’s subtext- Not For Poultry Use!

“Aw, come on!” She outraged, unable to move her arms as Trixie prattled on.

“SHE’LL BE SENT HIGH IN THE AIR-TASKED WITH ESCAPING BEFORE THE ROCKET EXPLODES!” Scootaloo’s eyes popped open in realization, shooting over to view the much closer fuze. “SHE’LL DO THAT AND LAND SAFELY IN THIS-” Trixie’s magic lit up, summoning an inflatable swimming pool. “INFLATABLE CHILDREN'S POOL, UNHARMED AND UNSCATHED! DEAR CROWD, WE ARE PROFESSIONALS!” She asserted as they cheered the stunt on, Scootaloo having second thoughts.

“H-hey, Trixie… this-this isn’t actually gonna blow, right?” She asked, causing the mare to look back with a grin. She was sweating bullets, arms strapped firmly to the sides of the rocket. The fuse was no longer touching the ground, and Scootaloo was left hyperventilating, wondering if her heart would stop from how hard it was beating.

“FOLKS, EVEN I, THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE, FEEL ANXIOUS!” She announced to create suspense, utterly contrasting her heroic pose, backdropped by the smoke of a ginormous firework beginning liftoff. The rocket glowed orange behind her majestically, distracting the crowd from Scootaloo’s terrified screaming. “BUT BELIEVE- BELIEVE IN THE FLYING CHICKEN!” She yelled as it shot out off the stage, flying skyward at an alarming speed and leaving a trail of smoke.

Scootaloo sailed up in the air, unsure of what to do as her heart pounded away in her chest. “Big problem, big problem!” The sweat flew off her body from the force, mixing with the duct-tapes adhesive and making it slippery enough to get her arm out. “Come on, come on!” She rooted around her mane with her newly freed hoof, passing through a cloud effortlessly on the way up.

“WOAH!” Rainbow Dash yelled, wondering what the heck destroyed the cloud she was napping on. She recovered from her death-spiral quickly, looking around in a confused daze. “Tha hhhhhheck?” She yawn-talked with bags in her eyes, wanting to get to the bottom of this before returning to her nap. She looked down- “Woah- when’d that stage get there?” She scratched her mane, heading down sleepily to investigate.

“GOT IT!” Scootaloo yelled, producing a pocket knife she kept in her mane. She flicked the blade open skillfully with a hoof, using it to remove a kernel of corn that was stuck between her molars. “Thah ‘ee ‘ho. Ptoo!” Since that distraction was finally taken care of, she could return to the task at hand- so she closed the knife against the duct tape, tucking it safely back into her mane so she could think. She gasped with a beaming grin- “I GOT IT! MY SWEAT’S DISSOLVING THE TAPE’S GLUE!” She began worming her way out slowly and confidently, preparing to flap her wings and fl-

KRAAKK-BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Rainbow’s neck shot up just in time to catch the ginormous firework which blew up over her head, wondering exactly why the crowd below her seemed so shocked and horrified. “I really gotta get my eyes looked at.” She mused, squinting to get a closer look at the sooty black dot which seemed to have launched off the firework… “Wait, that dot’s screaming! That’s Scootaloo!” She yelled, flying towards the falling filly fulla’ furious fearlessness.

“WHAAAAAAHHH- HEY, RAINBOW DASH!” The soot-colored filly yelled and waved as her idol blew past her, grabbing the air above her head as Scootaloo’s wings flapped madly. “BYE RAINBOW DASH! COME CHECK OUT THE SHOWWWWwwwww…..” The Element of Loyalty scratched the back of her head, confused.

“... Dang. Are my eyes that bad?” She asked, oblivious to the silent trepidation amongst the crowd below her hooves; unable to watch the slow-motion trainwreck unfolding before their eyes, many in the crowd held each other in eye-clenched silent terror.

SPLAT!

“AHHHHH!!”
“KYAAAHHHHHHH!!!”
“WAH-HA-HAAAAAAA- Hey!”

A trio of voices screaming out made the trepid crowd look cautiously, many of them with their mouths left dried out from swallowing spit nervously; but cheers erupted from the herd like a volley of roaring cannonfire, starting with a single ringing of vocal percussion and multiplying exponentially.

“THE FLYING CHICKEN HAS LANDED, EVERYPONY!” Trixie yelled at the top of her lungs, turning to wipe the sweat off her brow whilst the crowd was distracted. “Almost a repeat of last weekend, thank goodness…” She muttered to herself, taking a relieved breath when she saw her new assistant being congratulated by the crowd; Whilst Trixie prepared the stage for the next stunt, everypony began quieting down as she climbed off the two fillies she landed on top of.

The orange filly stood proudly in her stunt-helmet and cape which flapped in the summer breeze; utterly contrasted by the pink and silver fillies which stood behind her in utter shock and horror, with their pristine coats marred by splotches of sticky golden tree-sap which spilled in the impact and clung to the downy pillow-stuffing like glue. “I’d like to thank Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, especially-” She stepped aside with a smug grin, as the fillies struggled with the sap-and-feathers. “Their tree sap and pillows broke the fall!” DT crossed her hooves with a huff, sitting petulantly on top of a sap-stained pillow case as her best friend/ most loyal follower continued her indignant struggle; the crowd cheered them on as she dragged Silver away with a huff, the orange filly hopping on stage for the real speech as Trixie worked behind the purple curtain.

Behind the privacy of her curtain, Trixie smoked a joint with a scowl as she worked on prepping the next act. She initially planned to ignore Scootaloo’s speech- “Maybe I am a chicken- I dunno.” She rambled aimlessly, and Trixie couldn’t help but pique her ear in interest. “But from what I’ve learned in School, chickens were basically T-Rexes like, thousands of years ago or something!” the unicorn mare couldn’t help but snort, trying to hold her laughter back as she puffed away at her lunch-joint. “That’s why if T-Rexes could fly, they’d even cooler- but they can’t!” Trixie had to set her joint aside to keep from choking on the smoke with her chortles. “BUT THAT’S WHY I’M GONNA FLY TODAY, ON THE POWER OF MY OWN TWO WINGS… EVENTUALLY! TO PROVE THAT I’M BETTER THAN A DINOSAUR! WHO’S WITH ME!?” She asked the crowd, met with silence.

Trixie rolled her eyes. “Excellent speech, really got the crowd roarin-” Her sentence was cut off by the crowd roaring out in cheers and clapping; eyes wide open in shock, she let out a huff of disbelieved annoyance. “I guess I should be glad this town’s full of lead-poisoned idiots; I wouldn’t have half the crowd otherwise.” She said, washing down the taste of ash with store-bought bottled water. She scoffed- “Lead plumbing; because it worked out for the Romane Empire in the long run… Why do I think about the Romane’s so much?” She asked herself, taking one last hit from her joint before lowering her welding helmet, hoof-painted to resemble her purple-felt starry hat.

Psst- what now?” Scoots asked just as Trixie was about to begin welding, causing her to lift her mask while still holding a welding stick in a thick leather glove, suspended in her magic. She turned towards the filly and shrugged before lowering her mask and returning to work.

“I need like, a half hour to get this next one ready. Keep the crowd going!” Scootaloo nodded, returning to the stage with an enthusiastic grin.

“What’s the deal with tree-sap and pine needles?” Scootaloo yelled out to the crowd, just before the sounds of welding filled Trixie's ears.

Author's Note

My first ever commission!! Special thank uuuuuu, Wandering Commenter :p
And everyone else who made it through this chapter, you're also really awesome; your likes and comments are greatly appreciated :3

I'm open for commissions still! There's a Ko-Fi link in my profile description that'll lead to the details, or you can send me a DM; I also have a Discord! Thank you all so much :3

This fic will only be three chapters, btw :p