Chapters Albert is our protagonist. He is a deer.
You see, characters like Albert here are the kind who just stare and smile awkwardly at the mail-mare, or in his case, the mail... tree?
He doesn't exactly get mail. That was merely a minute example on his personality type. In lamen's terms, he is an introvert. But, I guess that is inevitable if you live thirty years alone in a cottage in the middle of a forest, in which the cottage in question consists of no more than two rooms. A bedroom, and a bathroom.
But, to Albert, he enjoys living the minimalist life.
His source of food is the various and diverse vegetation within the heart of the forest. As a deer, his stomach is quite resilient, allowing him to eat almost any plant in the area.
To him, Poison Joke tastes a little dainty, a bit flat, with a berry-like aftertaste. Even touching the plant has no effect on him.
But, perhaps we can talk a little more about Albert himself, as opposed to his preferences. He has a tan fur coat, dainty cloven hooves, and a large crown of white antlers. Every year, his antlers shed, and regrow, like most deer. Since it's close to summer time, his antlers are a generous size, and not too large.
Now, a little about his daily schedule. It consists of getting up in the early afternoon, and staying up until way past midnight. He immediately walks out of his cottage in search for breakfast. Perhaps a nettle? Maybe one of the many varieties of ivy on the towering trees around his cottage, or maybe even the thin yet tall blades of grass just outside the front entrance. He enjoys all of it, and is anything but a picky eater.
Next, he gets a sip of fresh brook water. The sounds of the trickling stream are quite soothing to the ear, and they fill him with a great sense of peace and tranquility, as do all of the surroundings, really.
Next, he takes a little prance around the forest. He has used the same route and pathway for decades, and remembers it by heart.
Next, he decides on lunch. He doesn't eat very much to begin with, thus maintaining a lean build. Nevertheless, when lunch comes, he chooses from the various vine leaves and exotic trees only a short pace from his cabin.
Next, he picks a few flowers to use for his upcoming dinner. Which, unlike breakfast and lunch, is carefully prepared indoors with an oven and typical kitchen utensils.
His favorite dish, a simple flower salad. Well, the contents within the salad are anything but simple, but the concept of the dish is quite easy to understand.
After dinner has been prepared, it's time to sleep. Although there's very little on his schedule, the days feel quite fulfilled.
Albert is quite the enthusiast in nature, and knows every single plant and flora in the local area, and nearly every species in all of the Everfree Forest.
The hours spent between each meal feel quite lengthy. Most of it is spent meditating, gazing at the trees and plants, analyzing them, and simply enjoying silence.
Every now-and-then, a chore around the house is necessary.
Sometimes, Albert felt the need to plant something.
Point being, his life is pretty simple.
For some, it may be too simple. Some ponies, or even deer can't seem to fathom the idea of sitting around and doing a whole bunch of nothing all day. But to Albert, it was something. Something dear to him. (pun not intended)
As mentioned before, Albert is quite the loner. He's only talked to two individuals over the course of five years. Both of which were deers. One was his nephew, and the other was his mom. Both on the same day.
Albert is such a loner, he rarely interacts with his family. He occasionally enjoys time with his mother, but he never knew his father. He has four siblings, and doesn't know the names of any of them. He has three nephews, but only talks to one of them.
His mother tells him he was part of a powerful deer tribe. A well-known tribe amongst the inhabitants of the Everfree Forest. She tells him about his father, who she only knew for a few months before he left her. He was a skilled fighter, but not a good father or role-model.
Albert, along with his mother and nephew, left the tribe quite a while ago. The tribe itself experienced many issues that led to their leave.
Now, at the cusp of his forty-third birthday, he sits at the brook. He thinks extensively, and, almost instantly, realizes something.
Suddenly, his daily mundane tasks no longer feel interesting. His daily prance feels quite lackluster. Perhaps, he's getting bored.
It's not unusual for our protagonist Albert to feel bored. it happens to all of us the same. But today, it felt different, a little extra boring. Albert munches quietly on a blade of grass, he hears the soft trickling sounds of the brook tingle his ears. The breeze blowing through the lushious tree leaves.
Yet, his boredom is not satisfied. Albert stands up, he cranes his head around, taking in the all-too familiar scenery he has lived amongst for about three decades. He looks down a path, and thinks extensively,
"What if just keep walking?" he thought.
So, that's exactly what he did.
He pranced calmly and contently down an open path. Trees of all kinds surrounded him. But gradually, the trees began to change in shape and height and color.
They would become more sparse. Albert approaches his favorite patch of Poison Joke, and takes a brief break from prancing and munches on the bright blue petals of the exotic plant.
Then, he keeps walking. The trees become even more scarce. he begins to get a clear view of the light blue sky and the bright sun. He's not used to seeing the sky all too much.
Then, he approaches a large, expansive meadow. The meadow is quite gorgeous. A colorful spectrum of colors sweeps across the land in the form of dainty, delicate flowers. The grass is tall and sways in the wind, dancing freely in the breeze.
This is the farthest north he has traveled in his life.
Albert walks a little farther, and approaches a wide river.
Across it, a town.
Albert gazes carefully at the town on the other side of the river.I may as well give it a shot, the deer thought.
He pranced lightly up to and across the bridge, still eyes locked on the town across it. Upon arriving, he now gets a better view of the inhabitants of the town, and is beyond shocked,
"A town full of... ponies???" Albert thought out loud. Without realizing it, he had already collected a few gazes from bystander ponies, all staring at him like he had five heads. Albert felt his cheeks get flush and he slowly inched more into the town. The ponies still staring him down. Are they ever gonna stop staring, he thought. Albert got a wonderful perspective of the new town before him. The spralling cottages, the wide streets, the venders on the streets, the lack of infinite forest he was used to. It was quite a new site to behold for our deer protagonist.
A pink colored pony with a puffy and bouncy mane trots gayly down his path, and is on the verge of bumping into him,
"Excuse me, coming through," he said in a polite tone, the pony opened her eyes, only to see the unfamiliar visitor before her.
Suddenly, the pink pony leaped in the air and gasped louder than any gasp Albert has ever heard in his life. Well, to be fair, he's only ever heard two other gasps in his life. His own on upon the realization that he forgot to clean the outhouse, and the other one being of his mother's when he told her that "no, turtles don't grow from trees..."
The pink pony zipped away instantly, Albert was beyond baffled by this strange interaction, but, nevertheless, carried on.
He, like usual, collected the constant and rude stares of bystander ponies and just tried to the best of his ability to ignore their ogling and gazing.
Then, he arrived at a flower stand. He was quite hungry for some daisies right about now. He approached calmly with a smile and greeted the mare at the stand, the mare said nothing,
"Greetings. I would like..." Albert narrowed his eyes and browsed the ever-so various variety of flora displayed on the stand,
"That'll be five bits," she said.
"Excuse me... what-"
"Five bits," the mare reiterated, beckoning her hoof. Albert simply stared lamely at the hoof, then at the ground in dumbfoundment,
"I'm... sorry, dear. But, I'm afraid I don't have any of those so-called 'bits' you're asking for..." Albert made air quotes with his front hooves, now plopping down on his haunches. the mare nodded patiently,
"I assume you're new here, so..." The mare gently pushed the bouquet closer to Albert, "take it."
"Oh- I'm sorry, but if you want me to partake in fair business then-"
"It's on me. It's been a pleasure." The mare turned her head over her shoulder, as if looking for something behind her. Albert nodded slowly,
"Thank you dearly," he said before picking up the bouquet with his dainty muzzle. He trotted away with a giddy expression on his face. The mare, without him knowing, gently placed a small, "closed" sign on the table, and wandered off.
_______________________________________________________________________________
Albert found a lone bench next to a small bar. He munched calmly on the daisies, enjoying their flowery scent and taste. He took a bite out of the day lilies to add to his palette. A young filly walking with her stallion father stopped in her tracks and gaped at the deer. The stallion quickly nudged the filly to keep walking with him, now also planting his gaze on the deer. Albert rolled his eyes and continued munching, undisturbed.
All of a sudden, a purple unicorn trotted down the street, gazing at all of the store names, and unintentionally catching the deer in her vision. She halted in her tracks and simply stared. Typical, Albert thought.
But then, the purple unicorn slowly inched closer and closer. By now, Albert was getting slightly nervous. Although he seemed to have interacted well with the flower vender, he was on the verge of a panic attack the whole time. Same here. The purple unicorn only got closer, and with each hoofstep closer, Albert's heart fluttered stronger. The unicorn finally stopped, only a few hoofsteps away from the deer, and wore a warm smile,
"Hello, there." The unicorn waved at Albert, tilting her head slightly. Albert awkwardly waved back. The purple mare slowly inched closer,
"My name's Twilight Sparkle. You can just call me Twilight. The name 'Twi' is only preserved for best friends, though. But, perhaps if we get to know each other a bit more, we can become friends too," The mare beamed. Albert grinned awkwardly,
"C-Cool," he nodded,
"My name's Albert."
"well, nice to meet you, Albert!" Twilight held out a hoof, Albert simply stared at it,
"Oh- I'm trying to give you a hoof shake. I-It's a pony thing."
Albert nodded and planted his cloven hoof on Twilight's noticing her purple hoof was a lot thicker than his own. They both somehow achieved the most awkward hoofshake known to Equestria. Twilight nodded with a grin,
"So, a deer huh? Very fascinating..." Twilight scanned Albert's body extensively, observing his slightly shorter stature and lean build.
"Yep." Albert nodded awkwardly. Twilight met eyes with the deer,
"Don't take that the wrong way or anything! It's just that, well, you know, I'm used to ponies." Twilight wore a goofy grin,
"But, pony or not, I'm sure you'll enjoy your time in this wonderful establishment. The wonderful town of Ponyville..." Twilight sighed dreamily,
"Now then, I think it would be appropriate for me to show you around, huh?" Twilight smiled.
"Oh yes. I would... love that," Albert smiled back.
"Wonderful! Follow me, Albert!" the deer trotted close behind.
"That over there is the flower vender. Way over there is the Carousel Boutique..." Twilight rambled on and on about each store and home, and even about the history of each store. Albert said nothing and simply nodded his head continuously like a bobble-head.
"Hey! You know what would be great? If I introduce you to my friends! I'm sure they'd love to hang out with you. But first, tell me a little about yourself," Twilight said, facing Albert now.
"Oh! A-about me? Uh..." Albert thought extensively. Twilight sat down patiently.
"I... uh... live in a cottage in the Everfree Forest," he said.
"Ooh! Nice!" Twilight smiled. Albert nodded,
"I, uh... eat plants... a lot of plants........" Albert said, trailing off.
"Oh... cool." Twilight wore an awkward grin,
"What's your favorite?"
"Uh... good question...." Albert thought again, remaining silent for several minutes.
"Well, I tend to favor Loopy vine, and Poison Joke..."
"Oh? Really?" Twilight leaned in,
"Poison Joke?"
"Yeah. Well, us deer have a very strong stomach. Also, it tastes pretty good too. It has a flavor between a blueberry and a leaf..." Albert said. Twilight nodded,
"That's very captivating, Albert. I- I'm just amazed. You're the first deer i've ever seen roam this way. In fact..." Twilight thought deeply,
"You might be the first deer to visit Ponyville in over a century."
"Really?" Albert raised an eyebrow, "huh."
"I'm serious. It- this is really cool..." Twilight spoke breathily with great enthusiasm. Albert nodded flatly.
"Well then, how about I introduce you to my friends? I'm sure they'd find you... err... interesting..." Twilight said.
Albert nodded,
"Okay."
Chapter 3, Meeting the Apples
"Albert, this is Applejack. Applejack, this is Albert," Twilight said, smiling at both of them. Albert waved his hoof awkwardly, Applejack just stared,
"W-Well... howdy..." she started, staring at the peculiar pony before her. He lacked cutie marks, his stature was somehow slightly shorter than her own, and he wore large white antlers.
"Hi............ my name's Albert."
"Heh... well, nice t' meet ya, Albert."
Applejack swiftly turned toward Twilight's direction,
"What in tarnation are ya doin', Twi?"
Albert overheard AJ's whispering.
"Oh! T-There it is! 'Twi'! The... the name your friends only use..." Albert tried to act relatable and quirky, only coming off as invasive and weird. Applejack simply stared at Albert flatly, then whispering into Twilight's ear,
"I mean, look at him.." AJ pointed discreetly at Albert's direction,
"He's got some weird hat. No cutie marks- I mean- wh-where'd ya even find him??"
"Oh. Well, I just found him sitting by himself by the bar and I wanted to talk to him."
"Twi. That there's problem number one. You and I both know not to hook up with bar-dwellers-"
"No- that's not what I meant. He- he wasn't even drinking. He was just sitting there all lonely eating flowers and stuff..." Twilight faced Albert, who just watched flatly in there direction,
"I apologize, Albert. Just- give us a few more seconds," Twilight said with a grin. Albert nodded.
"Look, I don't care if he looks weird, he's- he's pretty nice. I mean, he told me all about the Everfree Forest, where he lives-"
Applejack sighed as soon as the purple unicorn uttered those words,
"Twi. Twi, Twi, Twi," AJ shook her head,
"Do ya remember what happened the last time we found somepony from the Everfree Forest?? Do ya know what lurks in there?"
"But, AJ, Zecora turned out to be really nice. So what if she lives in the Everfree Forest?"
AJ sighed, saying nothing, still passing occasional glares in Albert's direction. Albert began whistling out of boredom.
"Just... put on a smile, okay? Be kindly," Twilight nudged AJ's shoulder. The farmer pony responded with a slow sigh.
"Now, then," Twilight faced Applejack, "how about you introduce us to your family? Your farm?"
"Oh- oh yeah! 'f course! Uh, Follow me, Andrew."
"Albert " The deer whispered, "Right, sorry," AJ replied.
__________________________________________________________
"Well, Adrian-" AJ started.
"Albert." the deer in question said.
"My apologies..." AJ huffed,
"Well, Albert , let me introduce ya to a little bit of my family. Startin' with my old folk, Granny Smith!" AJ pointed at a frail, light green pony on a rocking chair. She was sitting quietly and peacefully on the front porch. The three ponies- excuse me, the two ponies plus one deer approached Granny, who turned and faced them.
"Howdy, Granny. This 'ere is a new pony feller to Ponyville!" AJ pointed at the deer beside her,
"Um, actually, I'm a deer. A-Also, I'm- I'm only visiting-"
"OH I'M SO SORRY, ANDY! My head's been all over the place this mornin'! Well, Granny, this 'ere is a new deer feller in Ponyville!" AJ faced the elderly pony. She wore a furious glare,
"Are you the varmin that's been eatin' alla' my flowers?" Granny gave Albert the stink-eye and raised her wooden cane. Albert back off slightly,
"W-wait! Please I-It was just an accident!-"
"You ain't payin' for my flowers, are ya!?" Granny beat down on Albert mercilessly,
"OW! OW! WAIT! PLEASE! I PROMISE I WONT DO IT AGAIN!" Albert cried, trying to fend off the furious elderly mare hitting him with her cane.
"Wait Granny! Wait!" AJ pulled her way from Albert, who was now half-crouched on the ground, quivering,
"Now that ain't no way to treat our guests!" AJ berated.
"Now hon, she ain't no guest, ya hear? She's dirty ol' varmin-"
"Actually, I'm a he-"
"SHUT IT, YOU!" Granny raised her cane and the stag flinched, hiding his face with his front hoof.
"Now, Granny. He isn't varmin. He's simply a deer resident trying to visit Ponyville," Twilight said calmly. Granny continued to glare at the deer,
"Don't be eatin' no more o'my flowers, ya hear? Or a gun's goin' off tonight. The old Tommy', ya don't wanna meet him," Granny narrowed her eyes.
"Heh, well, why don't we, uh, meet the rest of the family???" AJ grinned, all humiliated.
"That's okay, Applejack. I can imagine they're busy right now." Twilight said.
"U-Understandable, Twi. See ya 'round!" AJ waved at Twilight, who now took Albert away from AJ and her insane granny. Almost as if it were pure coincidence, a rainbow-colored pegasus darted from the sky and hovered slightly above Twilight,
"Hey, Twilight!" The pony waved.
"Hey, Rainbow Dash," the purple unicorn waved back. Albert felt the need to wave too, earning Dash's attention,
"Who's he?" she asked, still beating her wings.
"Oh, this is Albert. Albert, this is my friend Rainbow Dash."
"Hi," the deer waved.
"Sup! You look kinda weird, but that's cool I guess," Dash said, now landing gracefully on the dirt ground,
"So, what's the deal? Some disease? Or, uh, a- genetic disease-"
"Rainbow, that's not very nice," Twilight chided.
"Sorry , I'm just curious!" Dash fired back,
"It was one of Zecora's spells, wasn't it?" the pegasus whispered.
"No, Rainbow. It wasn't any kind of spell, genetic mutation, or disease. He is a deer, and he came from the Everfree Forest," Twilight said.
"Uh, isn't that a word? Like, 'oh dear,' or something?"
"No, Rainbow. He is a deer. A deer is... kinda like a pony, only they're a little shorter, and have big antlers," Twilight pointed at Albert's head. He nodded.
"Ah, I see," Dash inched closer to the deer,
"So, Albert, can you tell me what you do? Do you do something really awesome like fighting or making magic potions or something?" Dash asked.
"I, uh, live in a cottage," Albert replied dryly. Twilight face-hoofed,
"Th-that's a start! So, what do you do in that cottage?"
"Uh..." Albert darted his eyes around,
"Eat, sleep... sometimes use the bathroom?"
Dash's forced grin faded, she sighed,
"Doesn't seem like you go outside much, do you?" Dash shook her head.
"Wait, Actually-" Albert started.
"Don't worry! I'm a professional at talking!" Dash chirped.
We know, Rainbow , Twilight thought to herself.
"So, like, when somepony asks you what you do and stuff, that basically means they're asking you about what job you do, or, like, what things you like and stuff," Dash explained,
"So then, like, you have to answer with something like, "Oh, I work as a... something something something... you get the idea..."
"Well, actually, I like to-" Albert started.
"And after that, the first pony's all like, "Wow! That's totally awesome!" So then, you know, you guys start talking, and stuff," Dash said, crossing her front legs. Albert thought she was finished,
"Actually, I like to-"
"So then, like, uh... you start getting really nice with each other. That's called being friends with somepony. Ask Twi, she's a professional Friend-maker! So then after you guys become friends , then you start going to super awesome places a-and doing super awesome things with each other! That's called doing a hobby ," Dash said. Albert nodded,
"Well, I like to-"
"So then sometimes, uh, you guys get really friendly and stuff, and you two really really like each other, you know, beyond friendship. So then you start getting cute with each other and you start to kiss-"
"Okay, Rainbow. That's enough," Twilight remarked with a slight tinge of irritation in her voice. Dash blushed,
"Sorry. Got carried away."
"That's okay, I was just gonna say-"
"I'd love to stick around but I gotta get back to the Weather Control team! Later!" Dash zoomed away before Albert had a chance to utter another word. He sighed in defeat.
"Well, That's Rainbow for ya..." AJ calmly approached Albert, sitting beside him,
"Next thing ya know, ya start datin' her..." AJ blushed
"What?" Albert raised a brow.
"Uh UH nothin'! Ya heard nothin'! See ya 'round, Allan!" AJ trotted away, humming to herself.
"It's Albert..." the deer huffed under his breath.
"Well, that was something." Twilight huffed. Albert nodded, kicking a pebble with his front hoof and directing his gaze at the floor.
"Don't feel bad, Albert. My friends are, uh, unique! They're really nice once you get to know them," Twilight said. Albert nodded silently.
"Well then, how about we visit my friend Rarity?"
"Rarity, this is Albert. He's a deer who's visiting Ponyville for the day," Twilight gestured at Albert to shake hooves with Rarity.
"Why hello, Albert. How are you on this fabulous day?" Rarity spoke with careful deliberation. Albert nodded slowly,
"Good."
"Marvelous! Now then, I don't think it would be polite of me to simply leave you naked like this! Perhaps we can fix you up, give you a nice dress to match your naturally stunning complexion-"
"Rarity... sorry to be that pony but, we're always naked," Twilight started,
"Also... Albert's a boy... I think..."
"So? I can whip up a stunning unisex dress right away! You'll truly gather the eyes of everypony in Ponyville!" Rarity chirped.
Albert nodded naively.
"So, Albert, tell me a little about yourself. I believe you now have a clear idea on my profession already!" Rarity giggled.
"Uh... I live in the Everfree Forest..."
Rarity's face changed.
"You... what?" her eye twitched.
"Wait... It's not what you think. I just live in a cottage, and... uh... eat plants," Albert said.
"Mhm." Rarity narrowed her eyes,
"Keep talking."
"...that's it," Albert muttered.
Rarity stared flatly,
"My my, that's... uh... quite fascinating," Rarity grinned,
"I can't help but wonder, where's your cutie mark, Darling? Are you still undecisive on your passion or profession? I know quite a few connections. Surely they could offer a few wonderful working environments for ponies in your.... uh... field."
"Oh," Twilight started,
"Well, since he's a deer, I don't think he gets cutie marks..."
"Oh? How peculiar..." Rarity wandered off,
"So... what region of the Everfree Forest do you inhabit? Perhaps the northern grove, or the southern river."
Albert was silent, he thought for a moment,
"Well, there's a lot of trees..."
"Mhm." Rarity nodded.
"And... uh..." Albert tapped his hooves on the marble floor. Rarity got his attention and noticed his hooves.
"I must say, Darling! You have the cutest hooves!" Rarity picked up one of Albert's front hoof and held it close to her face,
"Two toes! How exotic! Surely we can give you the most pleasurable hooficure to truly accentuate your wonderful little steppers!" Rarity cooed. Albert simply forced a grin, fighting his hoof from Rarity's.
"Also, I can't help but wonder, how could you possibly wear horseshoes on those guys?? I mean, you'd be a 1, maybe a 2 with those tiny little things!"
"Rarity, none of us wear horseshoes," Twilight muttered flatly.
"Oh but of course! J-Just merely an observation!" Rarity scoffed, sweeping her mane with her front hoof,
"Well, p-perhaps we can polish up that marvelous crown of antlers of yours! I mean, those antlers must come alive, darling! I got the perfect horn and antler polish in the other room, stay put. I won't be long!" Rarity hummed and trotted happily to the next room.
"It's okay, Albert. She does this with everypony. I remember when I first came here," Twilight laughed. Albert smiled awkwardly.
"I'm baaaack!" Rarity sang, hovering a bottle of antler polish with her unicorn magic
"Now, then. Do hold still! I just need to apply a little bit!"
Albert felt Rarity rub his antlers with her front hooves, feeling slightly uncomfortable,
"Uh- can you not rub them so hard-" Albert flinched.
"Don't try to fight it, Albert!" Twilight said.
"Almost done, darling!" Rarity managed to rub every inch of Albert's antlers, leaving them with a glossy, sparkly shine.
"Tell me what you think, darling! I think it suits you well!" Rarity held a small mirror in front of Albert's face. The deer stared flatly, staring at his shiny antlers.
"It's... good... I guess..." he muttered flatly.
"Good? I think it's positively utterly absolutely fabulous!" Rarity beamed. Albert nodded slowly.
"Well, then, I think it's time for me and Albert to get going," Twilight shoved Albert out of the Carousel Boutique,
"Come back for your weekly polish, darling! I'll be here!" Rarity smiled, waving at the two.
_______________________________________________________
"So, how're you enjoying Ponyville so far?" Twilight asked Albert as they trotted to their next destination. A quaint cottage sat on top of a hill, just outside of Ponyville.
"Good, I guess," Albert replied in a stale tone. Twilight caught on,
"I know it's a little exhausting. It was for me when I first visited. But after a while, you learn to really enjoy their company. They're all very nice ponies at heart, and even if they have certain... preferances that you might not agree with, they're still just trying to help out, that's all," she said. Albert nodded and sighed,
"You know, this is the most I've talked to anypony... I'm kind of a loner..." he said.
"Oh really? I'm so sorry," Twilight frowned.
"No no, it's fine. I like being alone. It's just that... you know..."
"What?" Twilight asked.
"Well, I'm not exactly the best... uh... interactor... or... talker...." Albert sighed.
"I understand. Well, the next pony we're visiting isn't exactly the best talker either. But, she really likes animals and nature," Twilight smiled.
"Oh, really?" Albert asked.
"Mhm. Her name is Fluttershy..."
