Author's Note

Sorry for the long wait! I've just got a lot of school stuff on my mind recently.

As always, feedback is welcome!

EDIT: I had this chapter written already? And I DIDN'T publish it??? Uh... welp, this thing probably isn't fully done, but here's a chapter, I'm gonna work on chapter 4 now...

EDIT HISTORY:
V1.0 - Wrote the chapter. Can probably lengthen a few paragraphs, but this is substantial for now.

Fuck Train Rides

"What... the... fuck?"

Brian and Tyler stepped out of the basement into what seemed to be an actual tree. Like a living, breathing tree. With live leaves and all. You could see each individual layer of tree bark from the center of the room slowly expand outwards to the walls. The thing must've been at least a bajillion years old.

Then there was Rainbow, who was just flying slightly ahead of where Twilight was.

"How the fuck is this possible?" Brian voiced his thoughts aloud.

"I don't know, man, just go with it. We got a magical fucking horse who can probably zap us into ashes in the blink of an eye. Just don't question it," Tyler responded.

"Yeah, you're right..."

Upon focusing on their captors once more, they found Twilight and Rainbow making their way over to the living room, where the unicorn promptly shouted at the top of her lungs. "SPIKE!"

Brian flinched at the sudden noise. Tyler snorted.

About three seconds later, a tiny purple lizard appeared from around a staircase that went up to a second floor. "Yes, Twilight?" the thing asked politely.

"What is that, your butler?" Tyler asked, pointing at the tiny dude.

"What-? No!" Twilight scoffed. "His name is Spike and he's a dragon."

"I'm also her number one assistant!" the little guy added.

"... A dragon..? Like, a full fire-breathing dragon?! Oh shit!" Tyler shrieked.

Rainbow snickered and Spike shrugged.

"So, Twilight, what are those two things anyways? They seem pretty harmless," Spike asked, looking up to her. "They sure don't seem as threatening as they did when you guys pulled them out of that giant... metal... thing."

"Well, apparently they're 'humans'. Spike, make a note to Princess Celestia for me; we're about to head over to Canterlot to see the princesses," Twilight spoke, clearing her voice.

"Dear Princess Celestia,

"Most recently, two creatures, who deem themselves to be called 'humans', have appeared in what seems to be highly advanced technology inside of a giant metal carriage. Their technology seems to be far more advanced than ours and they seemed like a threat at the time. Upon further investigation of the two humans, I figured out that they are merely children, the age of 16, and were going on a trip to get 'a Wendy's burger'. Whatever that means... We will be heading to Canterlot shortly to discuss what to do with the two new creatures.

"Your Student, Twilight Sparkle." She let out a breath of air. "There, did you get everything, Spike?"

"Yep!" he gave a small thumbs up before taking the piece of paper and rolling it into a scroll. He then took in a deep breath and exhaled a small flame which completely engulfed the piece of paper and disintegrated it into ashes. Then the ashes gathered in one place and flew out the nearest window, heading North.

"Uh, what?" Brian asked, bamboozled. "How the fuck does that work?" The dragon just shrugged.

"Alright! Come on, Rainbow, let's get the girls, we're heading over to Canterlot to see the princesses!" Twilight exclaimed, grabbing her saddle bags and dragging the boys along with her magic. "Spike, you stay here. I need someone to-"

"-look after the library while you're gone. I know! I've done this a million times already," Spike finished her sentence.

Twilight gave him a small smile. "Thanks, Spike." She looked out the door as four more horses approached. "See you in a bit!" she called out to him as she walked away.

The two humans simply glanced at each other, not really sure what to get out of the situation. Now there were four more talking horses to worry about. They glanced worriedly at the two humans, but otherwise didn't say anything. The group of new ponies consisted of an orange farmer, by the looks of it, with blonde hair, a yellow pegasus with a pink mane, a white unicorn with a purple mane, and an extremely jitterish pink pony with an extremely fluffy pink mane.

Twilight turned to talk to them. "Alright, girls. These two are humans, and they're around the age of 16. We'll be taking them up to Canterlot, so behave around them." She turned to the ones she was talking about. "Same goes for you two. Behave. And try not to use bad language, please? There are other kids around here."

The humans looked at their new companions, nodding slowly. "Do they all look like they're colored in pastel?" Tyler asked Brian. He simply shrugged.

At last, the group made their way through town, drawing weird looks from every pony and foal around. Brian just ignored them, not really caring about the situation. Meanwhile, Tyler saw a filly that looked to be the age of five and did a silly face with his tongue out and his left eye closed, causing the child to shriek in terror and run away. He snickered.

Twilight nudged him. "Hey, that's not nice."

Tyler scoffed. "It's not my fault they're a bunch of pus-" He quieted down after seeing the glare coming from Twilight.

Brian snickered. "You, too," Twilight told him.

They continued walking in silence. The four behind them kindly staring at them like they're a public science experiment. One of them, the fancy white unicorn, looked at them in disgust. Another one, the pegasus, cowered in fear upon eye contact. The farmer looked to be quietly judging them and the pink one was just... jumping up and down.

"Does she have ADHD or some shit?" Brian asked Tyler silently. Tyler just shrugged and looked to where they were going once more.

Eventually, one of them, the cowpony, sped up the pace of her walk to catch up to them , having a slight glint of determination in her eyes. Eventually she matched their pace.

"Howdy," she said, introducing herself while tipping her hat. "The name's Applejack. Ah work here 'round that farm you two were passing by while inside that machine o' yours. Who are you two?"

Tyler snickered while Brian gave a small smirk, reaching a hand out towards the pony. "The name's Brian. Ya know, we here got ourselves a neat ol' cereal named after you back where we come from," he said with a heavy southern accent, tipping an invisible hat as he did so. "This here's ma good friend, Tyler," he said, gesturing a hand towards his friend.

Tyler laughed out loud, Brian following suit shortly after, unable to keep his laughter contained. Applejack simply rolled her eyes. "Nice ta meet ya'll, too," she said, chuckling lightly. "Ya know, we thought you were evil or somethin' of the sorts. Glad to see we were wrong," she smiled.

"Nice to meet you, too," Tyler said after choking down his laughter. "It's nice that somebody 'round these parts has a sense of humor!" He said in a southern accent, locking eyes with Twilight in the process, who just rolled her eyes and continued walking.

Eventually, they made it to the train station.

"Hello, sir! Tickets to Canterlot, please!" Twilight spoke in a polite manner before looking down towards her saddlebag to retrieve a bag of bits.

"Tickets to Canterlot, huh? How many do you... want...?" the stallion voice trailed off as he made eye contact with the two humans. Tyler gave him a predatory grin. He fainted.

"Ah, there we go! I'd like 8 tickets to Canterlot. Six adults and two- huh?" Twilight asked as she looked up from her pouch, holding a small bag of bits in her magic. She looked back to Tyler, who was holding a hand to his mouth trying his best not to laugh. She rolled her eyes and placed 14 bits on the counter, grabbing 6 adult tickets and 2 kid tickets from the booth with her magic. "Come on, girls," she sighed, scribbling a small note saying 'sorry!' and placing it on the counter for when the ticket stallion awoke.

Upon getting on the train, the group huddled into one of the side doors that led to a small room; barely enough to contain them without someone squishing against a wall.

"Alrighty! Train trip!" the pink pony exclaimed. No one around her spoke up. "No one? ... Awkward..."

The group sat in silence as the train started to move. The occasional cough of a pony bystander was heard, but other than that, only the noise of the train riding along its tracks could be heard.

Eventually, Brian broke the silence. "Hey, I never asked what happened to our stuff?" His friends face lit up in an 'oh shit!' manner.

"Oh no, my phone! Please tell me you have my phone!" Tyler asked, distressed, grabbing Twilight's shoulder and shaking her.

Brian snickered. "I didn't know you were so addicted," he laughed. "Probably from all the stuff you watch on there," he said, smirking knowingly.

"What?! No! Do you know how expensive my phone is?! My mom paid for that shit!" He put his hands over his head. "She's going to kill me when I get back."

"Do you mean this?" Twilight asked, pulling out a small black rectangle with a glass screen from her saddlebag.

"My phone! You didn't destroy it! Yes!" He reached out to grab his phone, but the unicorn quickly moved it out of his reach.

"Sorry, until you two see the princesses, I'm going to have to confiscate these from you," she said sternly. "These could be dangerous! Equestria has never even seen technology like this!" She said while examining the phone closely. I'm going to have to do more research on this.... She put the phone back into her bag.

"What? It's not even dangerous! It's a device that you use to-" he was interrupted.

"While I may believe you, we can't take any chances. Any chance that it ends up being dangerous means that it should be locked up or examined further for disassembly."

"It's just a phone! How is that tiny thing going to-"

"Tyler, it's just another hour or two," Brian spoke up. "Oh, by the way, do you have my phone too?"

"I think so. It looks nearly the same, right?"

"Yep."

"Then you two don't have to worry."

The train ride then promptly resumed being absolutely quiet. That was until the other unicorn spoke up.

"Sorry, I just can't take this awful silence anymore! My name is Rarity. I'm presuming you two are Brian and Tyler, yes?" the mare spoke with an accent that heavily reminded the humans of stuck-up rich people.

"Uh, yeah," Brian answered. Tyler slumped back in his seat and crossed his legs.

"Where are your relations with each other? You each seem to know the other quite well," Rarity asked, leaning her body forward slightly to listen to the conversation better.

"Well, we met sometime in middle school. English class, I think. It was that one class that had that boring ass teacher-"

"-Mr. Brokins! I remember that son of a bitch!" Tyler finished for him, sitting up in his seat. "He absolutely sucked at teaching. I don't think a single student in that school liked him!"

"Well, except for Scott. I swear, he must've been in some secret relationship with that guy because there is no way possible to enjoy hanging around him." Brian pondered for a second. "Was he his son? Actually, that would make a lot of sense... They both had that same strict ass attitude, thinking they're smarter than everyone else in the room!" He calmed himself down slightly.

"Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah," Brian continued. "One day, we were sitting in class, having the absolute time of our lives. Mr. Brokins was going over the final project for the first semester; a partnered project where you had to write a story." He chuckled slightly as he remembered.

"And then Tyler over here turns over to me. Keep in mind, I've never talked to the dude in my life at this point, but he turns to me and tells me his idea for the most random ass story I've ever heard in my life." He laughed. "I don't quite remember what it was, but I remember that we teamed up and wrote the story. We somehow got ninety five percent!"

"Oh yeah, what was it?" Tyler racked his brain for any answer before coming up short. "Damn, I can't remember! Something about a clown as a teacher?"

"Yeah, you're right! I remember we specifically made the teacher sound and act like Mr. Brokins, without explicitly ever saying that it was him! Do you think he ever found out?"

"Nah, not with the grade he gave us. You'd have to be one fucking moron to give that high of a score after reading that. I'm pretty sure he just skims over every assignment."

The story seemed to lower the tension in the room. Rarity relaxed her shoulders more, Twilight gave a small smile, and Rainbow even laughed a little. The other pegasus even seemed to relax just a little bit more.

Eventually, the shy pegasus spoke up. "It sounds like you two are very good friends." She gave a small smile. "How was it before you ended up here?"

"Eh, just the norm. Wake up, go to school, eat lunch, go home, do homework, go to bed," Brian responded.

"Well, I feel it would be more accurate to say: Wake up, go to school, eat lunch, go home, stay up all night playing video games, and do missing assignments at 11:59," Tyler added.

"What, you don't get any sleep?" Brian laughed. "Actually, now that I think about it, it kind of makes sense."

"Wait, what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Hmm... cheesecakes... hmm..." Brian looked up, tapping a finger on his chin as he faked thought.

"Uhhh, let's move onto something else, shall we?" His friend snickered.

"Wait, what about cheesecakes?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Now I want to know!"

"Don't worry about it," Brian said, chuckling still.

"You can't just say that and not tell us the story! It's not fair?"

"Say what?" Brian asked.

"You know, the thing with the cheesecakes!" Rainbow exclaimed.

"I have no idea what you're talking about. What's this about cheesecakes? Are you okay?" Brian looked at her with fake concern.

Rainbow groaned as Applejack chuckled.

"Ooo, that totally reminds me! I need to bake a cake for a birthday party when I get back!" the pink pony suddenly brought up. "There's a young filly whose turning six tomorrow and I need to be there!" She gasped suddenly. "I didn't even give you two a Ponyville welcoming party! Oh my gosh oh my gosh I'm so sorry! I need to prepare! Two new Ponyville residents! You don't get that often! I really need to-"

"Sheesh, calm down, sugar cube, you can do that when we get back," Applejack chuckled.

"Is she always like this?" Tyler asked.

Twilight shrugged. "It's just Pinkie being Pinkie."

"Pinkie? Really?" Tyler raised an eyebrow. "Actually, that reminds me, all of your names go off of appearance except Rarity's. And maybe the other pegasus. I didn't really get her name..."

"Oh, sorry! My name is Fluttershy," the pegasus quickly apologized.

Tyler blinked. "That makes sense, actually. That still doesn't answer my question about Rarity, though."

"Well, I do work as a fashion designer. My designs incorporating gemstones also happen to be some of my bestselling work," Rarity answered.

"Wait, so are all of your parents fortune tellers or something? How do they just predict like that? There's no way that's a coincidence."

"Well, when I was a filly, I did show a fascination for gems. It is how I got my cutie mark after all."

"Your what? Never mind, that's still after you were born! Unless a cutie mark is some sort of birthmark or something."

"Wait, you actually bring up a good point," Twilight said, scrunching her muzzle. She equipped a pen and paper from her saddlebag.

"No! Bad, Twilight, bad! Don't you remember what happened last time you tried to study something like that?" Rainbow scolded her.

"When's the last time I ever did something like that-"

"Pinkie."

"Oh."

Silence rained in the cart for a few seconds. "Wait, what is this about Pinkie?" Brian asked.

"Well, dear, Twilight decided to research how Pinkie was capable of her... antics, shall we say, and..." Rarity paused. "Just don't do it, okay?"

"The hell is that supposed to-"

The train cart came to an abrupt stop, flinging the two humans out of their seats. "Ugh, what the hell?"

"Ah, we're here!" Twilight beamed. "Come on, let's go!"